Hope It Makes Sense - Tumblr Posts

I found you abandoned in a boat house.

I took you with me,

So you weren’t so alone.

You promised you would help me

To stay above the surface.

You would make sure I wouldn’t float off.

You promised.

But when I was thrown in to the deep end,

I realized you were made of cement.

Through my attempt to stay afloat,

I was pulled under the sea.

And all the while,

You clung to me.

You asked me to help you,

Make everything better for you,

Fix everything for you.

You, you, you

And I always felt obligated to do it

Because I was scared of letting go.

I did it all for you,

Even if I couldn’t breathe.

It was there that I drowned,

In your bottomless ocean of lies.

But at least being dragged down meant,

The waves would bother me no more.

late night conversation: characteristics and simple messages from your fs 🌌🌷

mostly for fun and for reflection: would you like a fs like that? would you like the things said? 💌🌼

let's go for the tea? 👀

__________

pile 1:

characteristics: oooh, good in my opinion!! you got: confident. knows how to take care of themselves in a good way. patient, knows to wait and respect opinions. they try their best, pile number 1.

professional field or passion: veterinarian, agriculturists, editor or design field. oh, took a little of a jump, right? 😅🌷 or maybe not? take what resonates to you please. :)

messages: they may like to talk, my pile mumber one. "yes, and?".

"I like what I see" huh 👀😅. "I like it". ok, they like something.

"Do you find me attractive?" oooh, I find it cute that one.

"Can't wait to see you again".

"I swam and the water was cold".

"Date". "Party".

"I'm sorry".

"I wonder how it is like to be loved by you".

"Bet you will be the one with the ring on the finger".

songs: 5 seconds of summer songs. cindy lou who. jão songs. eletric love.

__________

pile 2:

characteristics: resilient. optimistic, sees the good. prudential. loving person. maybe cool and collected as well. introvert vibes.

professional field or passion: waiter. teacher. mentor. psychologist. or maybe work in the care field.

messages: "you are attractive/hot, sorry"

"do you find me attractive?"

"I feel seen around you"

"You light me up"

"It's hard to breathe when you look at me"

Maybe your fs might been passed to a heartbreak not a long time ago.

songs: espresso. dandelions. that what's makes you beautiful by 1D.

__________

pile 3:

characteristics: calm. altruist. do certain things or most of them with ease. very calm energy.

professional field or passion: architect. nurse. journalist. maybe can have multiple interests or mostly likely to have more than one passion.

messages: maybe you don't know them yet my pile number 3. this is a good signal for you?

"Kiss me" wow, straightforward.

"Secret admirer" oh!

Oh. oh. oh. An advice! I wasn't expecting it. Maybe it's a call out. Maybe your standards are down right now. Or maybe you are giving much energy for something you shouldn't. Maybe you are waiting too much from emotional, romantic love to happen right now. And maybe it isn't the time yet. Oh! I wasn't expecting an advice. It is really from someone who loves you. Please, take what resonates. So, darling, it's okay, sometimes we mix something up. I remember a phrase from a kinda long time ago. It's something like: when something is missing, we try to overdo something to try to "fulfill". Darling, I understand. It's hard to heal something but it's time to recognize if something is wrong. Right? Like much social media, waiting too much on romantic love, feeling stuck on life...

My friend, when you are going through a, uhn, let's say - rollercoaster. There is some time that it is linear, right? To give impulse. Sometimes, so it's life. Maybe something is like stuck for you to try or focus on something else, something you love or it's good for you. Take care my friend. ❤💞💌

Tseng x Reader

Misconduct Spoiler:

'Fuck', you could hear him gasping for air. The heinous actions you performed to the man mutilated in your bathtub left him croaking in pain. Screaming for help, screaming for you.

Sure it was torture for you. Still being able to hear his dying breaths while you were a coward. Burying yourself under the cover, tucking your head beneath the pillows in a poor attempt to hide yourself from your own actions in your bedroom. The walls between the bathroom and your room did nothing to silence the sounds of the man actively dying.

And you had the nerve to cry. How for a single moment could you be so evil? Though, it wasn't for him. Every tear shedding for another selfish reason. No amount of liquor you drank before prying what you needed from the sorry soul in the bathroom would help you through what you've done. Nor would it allow you to see this through till the end.

You could end his life, why be hesitant when you've done this so many times? Kill. Dispose. Clean. You've been here numerous times. Why should who you've been torturing for the past few hours in a desperate attempt to get answers matter?

You've done everything you can to prolong his pain. Leaving him crying for the gods he never believed in.

It was heart wrenching. He was important to you, one you could imagine taking over the world with. A lifetime companion that displayed nothing but loyalty and love. You fought a lot throughout your past, an occurrence destined to happen based off of the sheer amount of time spent around each other. Growing together. No matter the disagreement. One would consider him your right hand man. Until now. Perhaps that's why it hurts so terribly. He's vowed his soul to you at one point. Now here he was, making a feeble attempt to turn you in, he should've known better.

It was pitiful, the way he had to learn that you were as ruthless and disgusting as every rumor detailed. Describing how you would stop at nothing to protect yourself and those that could easily expose you.

That was when Tseng learned too, after calling him over to help him take care of your little problem. The lengths you were willing to go through. It both entranced and repulsed him.

Angst me up with #2, 5, 8, 35, 36, and 45 for Akin and Failon pls :)

OOooohh fuck me up Jules :D this is going to hurt my soul :D nice

2.  What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

For Akin it’s definitely being a vampire and the need to hurt people in order to survive. He hates that part of himself and feels guilty about not being strong enough to suppress the urges that come with his vampire side.

For Failon it would be the death of people he cares about. He has lost a lot in his long life and he always blames himself, that’s why he always tries to push people away.

5.  List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

Akin: hurting the people he cares about, being used and abused, losing control of himself

Failon: being betrayed, being the cause of death of his loved one, being loved

8.  Do they have anything that triggers them?

Akin - assault/abuse

Failon - emotions :D (especially love)

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?

Akin would change being a vampire, he would really love to be a normal human :)

For Failon it is more tricky because I think he wouldn’t change himself but more so what happened in his past or what might happen in his future.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?

Out of the two of them Akin is more controlled by his emotions, if you piss him off he will fight you :D and if he likes you - you know he likes you. Idk if that’s considered control, but he definitely lets them out more than Failon.

Failon does his best to keep his emotions below surface and he’s pretty good at it, if someone doesn’t bring up sore subjects for him like - heaven, betrayal, his father, emotions :D But because of that when he lets his emotions out, they’re always really strong.

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?

Akin - disappointment at himself as a negative emotion and idk if sarcasm is considered an emotion but yeee that’s Akin’s whole personality (not whole but for the most part :D) 

Failon - guilt or betrayal as the negative emotions and as a normal emotion it would be annoyance (at Akin lmao) 

What about the werewolves in the story? Is the story about the age-old rivalry between vampires and werewolves, it's been played off a lot but i'd love to see your take on it :)

Ok first of I have to tell you - thank you so much for asking me about LST I’m always very excited to talk about it :D and it actually helps me connect things in my story! So THANK YOU

I don’t think I have it as the age-old rivalry it’s more something that developed over time. Lucifer’s Saint Trinity is a trinity of generals appointed by yours truly Lucifer :D one of them is the original vampire (Failon), one of them the original werewolf (Samael - I made Lucifer and Samael separate entities because it made more sense for the backstory :D but I am aware that in some canons Samael is just another name of Lucifer) and the third one is a powerful demon (Asam). 

also they are all really old by the start of LST just saying the lore goes back thousands of years for some of them haha

And in the beginning, they were all working together - not trying to usurp the world or heaven but just to balance things out. To make sure that heaven won’t try to take control etc. Because the main conflict is between heaven and hell, the earth is just the battleground for that conflict.

Their main purpose was to maintain that balance, but of course, they are the generals of hell so they also terrorize humans and make deals and make life hard for a lot of people :D but not so much as to wipe everyone else of the face of earth :D

So the rivalry between vampires and werewolves is a more recent thing relatively. There were always some fights between them but most of the time they stayed out of each other’s way or tried to work together. So LST starts somewhere at the end of the 18th century and the beginning of the 19th century and the rivalry between werewolves and vampires is already there. So I guess? It just has a different backstory and the two factions don’t start off as enemies but develop into that. So it’s kinda different but kinda still similar :D 

The story is kind of about the conflict? It’s definitely in the background, but the main story that Failon and Akin play a role in, is not really about like a war of werewolves and vampires but more about taking out the main corrupted part of the werewolf faction that started this conflict.  

There is more to the backstory but I don’t wanna give out any spoilers haha :D