Jessie Team Rocket - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
I have compiled some of my blueshipping haiku into a collection and posted it to ao3.
It gets pretty spicy. The tags explain everything.
James shipping thoughts
"Stereotypically camp behavior and not adhering to gender norms doesn't mean that a person is gay."
"I still like shipping James with male characters. It just makes my brain go brrrr. Any gender-bending he does has no effect on this tendency."
These are two thoughts that can exist in the same mind without (make it)doublethink.
Do you think Satan stays in Hell because Earth's too cursed, even for him?
the goal is: create the most cursed poll and highlight why proper sexual education is necessary
Holiday Half Arse: A Less-Than-Festive Fic (part one of two)
At some point, twelve!me decided to write a fic that took place during several holidays. The holidays barely got referenced (Jessie attacks James and Meowth on Thanksgiving and if you do the math, the kitten was probably conceived around Halloween), but I didn't skimp on the drama.
Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; mpreg; colorful language; absolute character assassination of Jessie (she's super violent towards Meowth and pregnant James); Jessie gets offensive about out-of-wedlock kittens; very shaky understanding of psychological issues; pregnancy is quite rough on James; Officer Jenny is repetitive
-O-o-O-o-O-
(James's point of view)
I fell onto the bed.
I just couldn't seem to close the button on my fly. I tried everything I could to get the button in the hole. I didn't know what was wrong because I wasn't fat. Usually my pants would be falling off.
I finally got the button into the hole. I went over to the mirror and started to brush my hair. I saw that it seemed to have grown quite a bit longer in a short amount of time. I wondered why.
I looked in the mirror at my reflection. Meowth always told me I was beautiful.
Meowth is my boyfriend. Yes, that's right. I'm a human with a Pokémon boyfriend.
Meowth came in the room.
"James?" he said to me.
I didn't really hear him.
"James?" he said again.
"What?" I said.
"You okay?" he asked.
"I'm fine," I said.
"Breakfast is ready," Meowth said.
At breakfast, I ate more than usual. "Someone was hungry," Jessie said as I washed the dishes.
We spent the entire afternoon trying to make up plans to capture Pikachu. We couldn't really decide which one to use, but we did agree on one thing. No more pitfalls for a while.
I was suddenly exhausted, so I went into the bedroom to take a nap. I woke up two hours later. Meowth was sitting next to me, watching me sleep.
"Jessie tried to cook again. It didn't work. Now we need to know what topping you want on the pizza," Meowth said.
I was about to answer, but then I got the urge to run into the bathroom and vomit.
(Meowth's point of view)
I ran after James. I found him in tears kneeling on the floor, wiping his mouth.
"James, what's wrong?" I asked.
James took a while to calm down. "I….I….I'm…." was all he could get out.
"Take it easy," I said, patting his hair.
James took a breath. "I just keep throwing up. I don't what's wrong with me. What if it's serious?" he said.
I thought for a minute. "You've also been eating more."
James gave me a look.
"And you've been getting tired easily. And you've been pretty emotional, even more than usual."
James's look intensified.
"I'm saying you might be pregnant, Jimmy."
James was shocked. "I-I can't be," he said.
"Here, take this test."
I gave him a pregnancy test to pee on. He did it and a blue plus sign appeared on it.
James looked down at his stomach. "How did I not know?"
"You're probably not that far into it. Also Meowth kittens are a lot smaller than human babies, so you won't show as much," I said. "The kitten is probably already feisty."
James smiled. "I could've told you that part."
(James's point of view)
The good part of the experiment was Meowth and I would have a kitten.
The bad part was I'd be uncomfortable and not that attractive.
I was in bed often, so my hair was so messy, I looked like I had lice. It was just bad luck that my freckles from the sun hadn't gone away. They made my face look even more flushed than it already was. My eyes were getting swollen from sleeping. I also had dark circles under my eyes.
Here's the uncomfortable part. I had to throw up every five seconds in the morning and early afternoon. It felt like torture after I did. I was so weak I couldn't walk back and forth from one room to the other, so I fell asleep in the bathroom a lot. My cravings for food were driving me crazy.
And the kitten was kicking so hard, I felt like birthing it every time it kicked.
Every single thing bothered me.
Once, Jessie said, "That kitten will be out of wedlock." I screamed, "I don't care! That doesn't mean it doesn't deserve to live!"
"Touché," Jessie said.
I ran into the bathroom, crying. I heard Jessie and Meowth talking through the door.
"You didn't mean anything bad, did you?" Meowth was saying.
"If the kitten is born out of wedlock, it's a bastard kitten. That's just how it is," Jessie said.
"How could you say that? Or even want to say that to James? He never said anything about your Pokémon."
"The kitten isn't his Pokémon, Meowth. It's his child."
"So why you gonna dis it like that?"
"Don't talk back, you furball! Someone needs to tell James the truth and if you're too stupid to know it, I'll just have to tell him."
"I'll make sure you don't." Meowth's voice was cold.
"Is that a challenge?!" Jessie yelled. I heard a scream and Meowth crying.
I rushed out of the bathroom. Jessie had shoved Meowth against the wall. Meowth was in tears, wailing.
"Jessie, what are you doing?!" I screamed.
Jessie came over to me and started pushing me.
"This is our business. Don't butt in!" she yelled.
I saw Meowth staring at us, still crying.
I had to stand up to Jessie.
(Meowth's point of view)
Jessie pushed James into the bathroom.
"So, you want to make this your business?" Jessie said in a threatening tone of voice.
The door was open so I could see what was happening.
Jessie slapped James across his face. James started crying.
"Why did you beat up Meowth?!" he yelled.
"That is none of your business!" Jessie hit James again.
"Stop hitting him, bitch!" I screamed.
Jessie yelled, "Stay out of this, ass-cat!" She kicked the door shut.
I ran to the phone and called the mental institution.
"It's an emergency!" I screamed.
"Hey, calm down. What's wrong?" the person on the phone said.
"A maniac beat me up and is beating up my friend. I think she's trying to kill us."
"We'll be right over."
They got to our cabin fast. "Where is she?" one of them said.
"In the bathroom," I said.
The people opened the door. The bathroom was not a pretty sight. It was completely trashed. James was sitting against the wall, crying, while Jessie threatened and cursed at him, waving a wrench. I could see a few bruises on James.
"You interfere with me fucking up Meowth, you'll get fucked up, too, cunt!" she yelled.
"See? She's a psychopathical fuckass!" I screamed.
The people stared at me, looking surprised.
"Sorry. Excuse my language," I said.
They still stared.
"You're a talking Meowth?!" they said.
"Yes, but please arrest her!" I yelled.
The people dragged Jessie out of there in a straitjacket.
"I'll get you both even if it's the last thing I do! One day you bastards will get the ultimate fuck-up!" Jessie screamed.
"Is everything okay?" Officer Jenny asked.
I didn't hear because I was trying to get James out of the bathroom.
"James, she's gone. Please come out of there," I said.
"Is everything okay?" Officer Jenny asked again.
"I can't get James out of the bathroom. I just want to know if he knows everything is all right," I said.
Officer Jenny knocked on the door. "You can come out now."
James didn't come out. I could hear him sobbing and sniffling.
"Please come out, James. The mental institution got her and took her away. We're safe now," I said.
James opened the door a crack and peered out. He came out, picked me up, and hugged me.
"Attaboy," one of the people said.
"Is everything all right?" Officer Jenny asked.
"Everything is fine now," James said.
Later that evening at dinner, it was weird when I was setting the table and I only needed two place mats, two plates, two cups, two napkins, and two sets of silverware.
"What are we having for dinner?" I asked.
"Tuna," James said. James had been craving tuna all day.
When we sat down for dinner, James took out a bottle of chocolate sauce.
"What are you gonna do with that?" I asked.
"I'm going to put it on my portion," James said. I asked him to pass the bottle so I could try it, too.
After a while, James said, "It tastes okay, doesn't it?"
I nodded. "It's perfect. Right, Jess—oops, I forgot. Jessie isn't here."
"I'm going to miss her even if she did abuse me." James had tears in his eyes.
"At least our kitten is safe," I said.
"Yeah. That's one thing to be thankful for," James said.
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: Officer Jenny is ineffective in domestic abuse cases (at least in whatever AU this takes place in).
Thank you, everybody who voted! The results certainly surprised me (I thought all six of them would be vanilla extract).
I need to get to writing
Do you think Satan stays in Hell because Earth's too cursed, even for him?
the goal is: create the most cursed poll and highlight why proper sexual education is necessary
Holiday Half Arse: Nyarth Nativity (part two of two)
Twelve!me should not be trusted to plan a Christmas dinner or name mpreg kittens.
Part one is here.
Content Warning: First-person mixed points-of-view; Pokémon/Human romantic relationship; mpreg; absolute character assassination of Jessie (she’s super violent towards Meowth and pregnant James); very shaky understanding of psychological issues and mental institutions; James, Meowth, and their kitten eat the placenta
-O-o-O-o-O-
(Meowth's point of view)
Before we knew it, it was the middle of December. James had gotten pregnant in October, so the ninth week was getting closer.
One day we were sitting in the living room, watching TV. Actually, I was sitting, bored at all the corny Christmas commercials and James was lying down, half-asleep. The couch wasn't the most comfortable place to fall asleep, but I couldn't blame James for not being fully awake. All those commercials were so cheesy and boring.
A commercial came on. I thought James would be falling asleep, but it was a telephone commercial. It was about a couple who couldn't be together for Christmas. They decided if they couldn't be together, they should at least call collect so they save money.
To my surprise, James burst into tears.
"That commercial was so sad. We're lucky we can be together for the holidays," he said.
"We can be together every day," I said. I hugged James. He hugged me too. He winced.
"Did my claws come out?" I asked.
"No. The kitten just kicked," James said.
James was a little round. The kitten would come any day. I wasn't sure if I could call James's Team Rocket uniform a maternity outfit.
I did learn that the kitten moved more whenever James ate anything sweet.
It seemed like the kitten could come out in the eighth week.
-O-o-O-
On Christmas Eve, James seemed to be really enthusiastic about having the kitten near Christmas.
He went into the bedroom to take a nap. A few minutes later, I heard James call me. He was breathing hard.
"I….I think it's time," he panted.
James pushed while I caught the kitten as it came out. One final push popped out the kitten.
The kitten was okay, of course. James was also okay. He still hurt a little, but he was okay.
"It's beautiful," James breathed.
"Just like you," I said. Then I bit off the kitten's umbilical cord.
The kitten opened its eyes. It had emerald green eyes like James.
James smiled at me. "It's a girl," he said.
"What's her name?" I asked. James was sure to come up with a meaningful name.
"Her name is Jessowth," James said. He started to breastfeed the kitten.
"Jessowth. Interesting name," I said.
The next day, on Christmas, James and I were happy to cuddle up in front of the TV with our daughter. We decided to have the placenta for our Christmas dinner that night.
"I guess we can't have sex tonight," James said.
"Oh, don't worry. The kitten and your love makes up for it," I said.
James began to cry.
"I'm sorry. That was just so sweet. You….You know I really love you, don't you?" James said.
"Yes. And I love you too," I said. "And anyway, you have to wait four or five weeks. You don't want to strain yourself."
James smiled. "You're the doctor."
(James's point of view)
Our little kitten seemed to grow so fast in just five weeks.
Jessie wasn't yet out of the mental institution. I was a little glad. A violent person shouldn't be around a newborn kitten.
After about ten weeks, I began getting sick again: eating a lot and vomiting. And I was craving foods I didn't normally eat.
After three hours of that, I just got out the Pokémon pregnancy test. A few minutes later, Meowth came into the bathroom.
"Are you okay, James? You look flushed," he said.
"Meowth, I'm pregnant again," I said.
"Another kitten?! Wow, you're producing a lot of kittens," Meowth said.
"It's just one," I said.
"Well, we're raising one kitten. We can raise another one," Meowth said.
Meowth was actually little more than a kitten himself. He was an adult (if he was human, he would be only slightly older than my eighteen years), but he hadn't evolved into a Persian (and he didn't plan to). One could say I was having kittens for a kitten.
Both Meowth and Jessowth are my kittens to watch over, care for, and protect.
Epilogue (Meowth's point of view)
Jessie eventually came home from the mental institution. She and James are friends again.
Jessowth is talking. She sounds like a female version of me.
Jessowth seems to be kind of wary of Jessie. Maybe she knew Jessie abused James when he was still pregnant with her.
James is delighted to be having another kitten. He's pretty far along.
We're all one big happy Team Rocket.
-O-o-O-o-O-
Moral of the story: Maybe don't name your newborn kitten after your formerly abusive friend, no matter how much she's improved. Also: tired of that boring bird for Christmas dinner? Try placenta!
one time i dreamt
Team Rocket's Meowth cheated on James with Garfield. James found out and cheated back—also with Garfield (James baked a lasagne and the rest just fell into place).
Then James gave birth to both Meowth's and Garfield's kittens in one litter. Jessie dragged them all onto the Jerry Springer show and Jon spit out his coffee watching it on TV.
An anon mentioned they thought it’d be cute if Delia was a big Jessilina fan and I responded saying it’d be funny if Delia didn’t know. But I think it’d be even funnier if Jessie tells Delia but she refuses to believe her. Ash and Delia are more alike than they seem <3
✨PREPARE FOR TROUBLE!✨
listen this sounds like a shitpost but I am being so serious right now. I FULLY acknowledge THIS:
(last one censored, idk how tumblr feels about James bazongas)
But at the same time we have this(???):
James Team Rocket is gay but he loves Jessie the most in the world. do you understand
Sorry if this is late but I made something for @yamujiburo 's DTIYS!!!
(sorry if it's not the best!!)
Team Rocket wedding 🚀💖
I couldn't choose who wears the dress Who wore it better?
Never mind guys. This is the person that actually LIED.
Remember to drink water and VOTE JESSIE <<<3
Pink Hair Swag Tourney, Grand Finale
How are Jessie and Ursula so similar? -Rachael Lillis played as Jessie ("Pokémon" Seasons 1-8) and Ursula ("Dinosaur King") -Lead groups of three in their own shows -Work on the side of evil -Insult the heroes in the two different shows -Done this on Moldiv; I don't own all of this content. "Pokémon" is a property of OLM, Inc. "Dinosaur King" is a property of Sunrise, Inc.
Top images were made on PhotoCandy. Bottom images were made on Font Candy. Note: This will be my last post with art pieces that involve “Pokémon” and “Dinosaur King” before I return to making artwork with my favorite cartoons. “Pokémon” belongs to OLM, Inc. “Dinosaur King” belongs to Sunrise, Inc.
A card I got from a con a couple days ago :)
Worth every penny
fawk