Jiraiblogging - Tumblr Posts

feeling bored feel free to ask me questions I’ll answer anything

I’m sleeping all the time again to avoid being alive

3 days in a row of sh I need to end it

I hate feeling like I did something wrong

hate when people like me romantically because I don’t know how to say no and I end up just sabotaging the relationship

OMG LITERALLY! like I just don’t want to hurt them but I make it x12 worseeee

hate when people like me romantically because I don’t know how to say no and I end up just sabotaging the relationship

I don’t think I’m built for human connections.

I’m so fucking tired of all of it

good I feel so guilty for dinner. I had seconds and everything. I shouldn’t have done that I need to feel clean again

me when I’m an actual social recluse

love having my therapists argue over my diagnosis it makes me feel like a piece of unwell meat

same experience really. This interaction meant a lot to me though because I thought I was just a horrible person and freak at like 9. Anyway I think childhood exposure to like fetishes and the like in content needs to be talked about more

Tw: hypersexuality, r@pe, uhhh being a child and learning 2 fast idfk

Ok so im just yapping but i was taught about s3x at a very young age and how babies were made and all that shit but i think i was prob 2 young like i know my parents were really young and didnt want me 2 be in an unsafe situation and stuff but it lead be 2 having s3xual fantasies (of sorts) at a really young age (ex. Being 7 and imagining being lowkey r@ped (i didn't know the word at the time) cuz my mom was watching tv w a r@pe scene in it and that made me wanna idk imagine it(just 1 example there r more)) but now idk i just ugh idk now i feel like thats impacted how i go through life. Anyways it doesn't matter cuz i mean like its been forever since then ig and idk whatever

mediocrity hurts because it’s followed me my entire life. Even my abuse is mediocre. I can’t destroy myself enough for it to ever matter anyway

I am going to die young aren’t I…

Go follow my other blog @sparklingrayn

Here is just to like stuff, how do I like stuff as my second blog? Mmmm

I feel cute♡ wish I could drink so badly><

An old photo, this was after I cried lmao, my bf said I should wear my favorite dress and think good things about myself while taking this photo

I hope i can slim down a little, get abs maybe? A fun little surprise:3

I'M A JIRAI KEI Y'ALL >:D

I'm thinking about joining the jirai kei community but I don't dress like that fashion type

Can I be in the community if I can't dress like it? /genq

ofc! jirai is a lifestyle not a fashion! lmk if u want any info or any help w jirai stuff :3

i feel so fucking filthy and disgusting and my home is a mess and i am fucking putrid but i don't have the energy or motivation to do ANYTHING about it so I guess I'll just!!!!! Fucking!!! Be filthy!!!!