988blr - Tumblr Posts
good I feel so guilty for dinner. I had seconds and everything. I shouldn’t have done that I need to feel clean again
me when I’m an actual social recluse
love having my therapists argue over my diagnosis it makes me feel like a piece of unwell meat
mediocrity hurts because it’s followed me my entire life. Even my abuse is mediocre. I can’t destroy myself enough for it to ever matter anyway
Kinda evil and messed up rambling, tags have TWs
I finally got the courage to cut again, nothing as deep as before, I really scared the shit out of myself last time so new rule, no cutting during disassociation or depersonalization episodes, way to fuckin reckless
That sounds goofy as fuck "no cutting while in a bad episode, gotta do that shit in a good mental state" honestly at this point it's a sleep aid am I even actually mentally ill? I'm probably just an attention seeking whore you know? honestly I should just stop. gauze is expensive and I shouldn't be wasting money just for attention. If I want attention so bad I'm sure there are plenty of men who will have their way with me I'm not even worth any money I'm too gross. I'm a disgusting awful thing, not even a person that title is too good for me.
And to think I'm actually "needed"? I should just kill myself shouldn't I? Get it done and over if I left all my money too him at least ide be worth something
But if that's the case why not live? Spend every waking moment working, being something useful to him, get as much money as possible all for him that's why I can't kill myself, he deserves a good life and the second I can't help with that he might as well kill me.
Kinda evil and messed up rambling, tags have TWs
I finally got the courage to cut again, nothing as deep as before, I really scared the shit out of myself last time so new rule, no cutting during disassociation or depersonalization episodes, way to fuckin reckless
That sounds goofy as fuck "no cutting while in a bad episode, gotta do that shit in a good mental state" honestly at this point it's a sleep aid am I even actually mentally ill? I'm probably just an attention seeking whore you know? honestly I should just stop. gauze is expensive and I shouldn't be wasting money just for attention. If I want attention so bad I'm sure there are plenty of men who will have their way with me I'm not even worth any money I'm too gross. I'm a disgusting awful thing, not even a person that title is too good for me.
And to think I'm actually "needed"? I should just kill myself shouldn't I? Get it done and over if I left all my money too him at least ide be worth something
But if that's the case why not live? Spend every waking moment working, being something useful to him, get as much money as possible all for him that's why I can't kill myself, he deserves a good life and the second I can't help with that he might as well kill me.
Kinda evil and messed up rambling, tags have TWs
I finally got the courage to cut again, nothing as deep as before, I really scared the shit out of myself last time so new rule, no cutting during disassociation or depersonalization episodes, way to fuckin reckless
That sounds goofy as fuck "no cutting while in a bad episode, gotta do that shit in a good mental state" honestly at this point it's a sleep aid am I even actually mentally ill? I'm probably just an attention seeking whore you know? honestly I should just stop. gauze is expensive and I shouldn't be wasting money just for attention. If I want attention so bad I'm sure there are plenty of men who will have their way with me I'm not even worth any money I'm too gross. I'm a disgusting awful thing, not even a person that title is too good for me.
And to think I'm actually "needed"? I should just kill myself shouldn't I? Get it done and over if I left all my money too him at least ide be worth something
But if that's the case why not live? Spend every waking moment working, being something useful to him, get as much money as possible all for him that's why I can't kill myself, he deserves a good life and the second I can't help with that he might as well kill me.
I'm Atlas, I am 18 and I use all pronouns but prefer he/him.
$h and nsfw acc
Feel free to dm me, I WILL NOT USE OTHER APPS TO MESSAGE YOU. IT STAYS HERE. I also will not follow back as this is an alt and i don't want sh/nsfw ppl mingling with my main ppl,sorry!
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♡ -reblogs
◇ -my own posts
i need my raz0r i’m gnawing at my enclosure
i am stuck in a perpetual cycle of making myself worse for i do not believe i can be better
i am pretending to be clean.
for the first time in years i am hiding self h/rm from the people around me.
i forgot how exhausting it is.
Just had my first day of school today!! Already know it gonna be an shit year might as well start cvt to relieve the dread.