Jisung Angst - Tumblr Posts

🌹🌹 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔨 𝔧𝔦𝔰𝔲𝔫𝔤 𝔞𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲𝔯 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔩𝔨𝔢𝔯🌹🌹

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤 : 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔦𝔰 𝔰𝔢𝔵𝔲𝔞𝔩 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔳𝔦𝔬𝔩𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢. 𝔦𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔞𝔱 𝔰𝔬𝔯𝔱 𝔬𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔰 𝔶𝔬𝔲, 𝔭𝔩𝔢𝔞𝔰𝔢 𝔡𝔬𝔫’𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔡

angst fic rec ♡

angst | angst | angst

please keep in mind that these fics are featured on the fic rec, this is like a compilation of the angst in the fic recs i like okay hehe.

please recommend you fav fics.

posting fluff later and maybe post the pic rec v too, today is officially my last class for this year!

smut | angst | fluff ii

jaehyun

to jaehyun, my first love | f a by @notnctu

redamancy | f a s @icedcappujaeno

domaine de la romanee | a s f by @heartau

never know | a s f by @ofwolvesandbutterflies

// when icarus falls | a f by @baobaojng

luxury | f a by @nctstudio

no title | f a by @jaeffrey77

just a little bit of your heart | a by @taurusjaehyun

[10:59 pm] | a by @nct-jungjaehyun

heartstrings | a by @jae-canikeepyou

oppa knows best 1 2 | s a by @wildernessuntothemselves

we’ll be alright | a f by @yoursinfulurges

too late | a by @ddeonghwaa

ordinary people | f a by @ppangjae

tease | f a s by @whereisten

our playlist | f a by @rendezvousrenjun

once again | f a by @smoll-tangerine

no title | a f by @jadedjaehyun

what happened to us 1 2 | a by @softdreamyhours

parasido | f a by @caiuscassiuss

please, please, please | a f s by @dreaminghaos

// white champagne | f s a by @leesmrk

friends 1 2 | f a by @masjestickingdom

just got married | f a by @alreadyblondenow

no title | a by @sakuurae

// preschool | a f by @jenojam

homebound | a f @kinqjaehyxn

love you goodbye | a s f by @serendipityseulgi

Save Those Tears | a by @nct-neoculture

back to you | f a by @svnthxsense

summer haze | f s a by @dreaminghaos

first times | s a by @moonctzeny

too late, can we fix this | f a by @ddeonghwaa

love me or leave me | a by @tyongxnct

while we’re young | teenage angst? by @jenosjupi

jaemin

the chase | f a by @choerrypuffs 

broken hearts club | a f by @nsheetee

180 days | s a by @kkuljaehyun

rollercoaster | f a s by @immabiteyou

jeno

young love | f a by @serendipityseulgi

eventually | f s a by @angelicmark

taste of intimacy | f a by @000609

no title | f  a by @gohyuck

home | f s a by @byunbaekby

true love | s a by @whereisten

salty | f a by @tastyykpop

my first and last | f a by @tyongxnct

paraluma | f a by @neoiovebot

final match | f a by @arietaurumini

this is how you broke jeno’s heart | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

mark

sweet loving | f s a by @angelicmark 

mark, this is how we broke up | s f a by @alreadyblondenow

fabric softerner | f a by @kopikokun

just tonight | a by @ijohnnys

from dusk to dawn 1 2 | f s a by @solcheeky

1 sided love | a by @leahswritings

in love alone 1 2 | a by @markshearts

jungkook

make it right | s a by @jungkxook

first time together | s a by @httpjeon

beast | f s a by @ephemeralkookie

breathe | f s a by @ephemeralkookie

be mine | a f s by @staerrylights

crush | f a by @jungxkookiee

stay professional | s a f by @btsfanficss

fervor | a f by @jungkookfluff

you’re evil, you know that? | f a by @honeytae

easy | f a by @itsamejin

in your eyes | f s a by @sweetaesuga

yugyeom

can you turn around | a by @taexual

doyoung

precaution | f s a by @dreaminghaos

afterglow | f s a by @epinebleue

love the way you lie | a by @writemekpop

no title | a by @slightlymore

collapsing together as the dawn breaks | f a by @slightlymore

taeyong

reasons why i can’t forget you | a f by @taeyongtime

finale of the longing heart | a f by @taeyongtime

changes | a f by @kwanisms

doyoung

precaution | f s a by @dreaminghaos

afterglow | f s a by @epinebleue

on and off | f a s by @alreadyblondenow

haechan

all at once, the happiness i knew 1 2 3 | f a by @taelme

// 37.5 viewers rating | a f s by @gohyuck

jisung

falling for you | f a by @thanksjaemin

anyway, thank you again for the writers please take care and be safe!

please free to recommend your favorite fic that i haven’t feature yet.

if the links won’t work and i labelled some fics wrong please let me know and i’ll try to fix it as soon as possible!

have a merry christmas and a happy new year everyone!!!

CHILL

Pairing: Reader x Han Jisung

Word Count: 0.7k

Genre: Angst, song-inspired fic

Warnings: None

Summary: Ib: Chill by Stray Kids. (need I say more?)

You both knew it. It just wasn't the same anymore. No funny jokes from him to make you laugh. No reading your favourite books anymore to impress you. Hell, not even watching the animes you both enjoyed together.

None of you knew why he was watching the same exact anime as you at night on his laptop while you watched separately on your own phone, yet you both knew. It just wasn't sufferable to be around each other.

You had never thought a relationship as loving and healthy as yours could turn into... whatever this was. You didn't care as much now. You cared for him, of course you did and a part of you will always care for him till you're no more. But not as much as you would almost have a panic attack over him twisting his ankle in dance practice or falling down three stairs because he was clumsy like that. Or that you would cancel your plans with friends if he got a surprise off day from work. Or that you would cook dishes for him that you had never even heard of before he told you how much he loved them. So was it even love anymore?

He wasn't any different. He didn't come here often. He didn't bring you your favourite baked goods from that nearby bakery in case he got let off early from promotions. Most of the time he stayed at the dorms just leaving a text saying he was too exhausted to come over, sometimes not even leaving a text. You had learned to not worry about it now.

So you finally say the words which are longing to be said inside these four walls.

"We should break up." You say and he looks up from his laptop while removing the headphones, surprised that you had said something to him the first time tonight.

"Huh?" He hadn't heard. Of course he hadn't.

"I said" you pause for a bit, so this is it? Is this how this is gonna end? "We should break up." You finally say while holding eye contact for the longest time you had in quite a while. You should feel sad now right? But you can't help but feel relieved now.

"Yeah." He agrees. Not even surprised, not even a flicker of sadness on his face. You were the same though. He started wearing his headphones again. Not even bothering to say anything else. You weren't gonna just let this go like this. You wanted closure but how could you even get that? It felt like you had already broken up and moved on all while still being in a relationship.

"So?" You question. Prompting him to say something more, anything. The clock is ticking and there's awkwardness in the atmosphere now.

"Do you wanna do it right now?" He questions back with an unbothered expression on his face.

"I... don't know." He just gave you a look saying "exactly" before going to watching the anime. And you seriously didn't know, the same as him of course. Sure you were essentially in a loveless relationship now but how could you just let all of this go? You wished you could erase all the memories you had with him. You both know you're just wasting each other's time. You doubt you would've regretted it even if you said yes.

It's not like it was like this from the start of course. You both had really thought you were "the one" for each other. Were you wrong? You can't even remember the last time any of you had said I love you or had a nice conversation. Everything was just...loveless.

So there you both were, just sitting and thinking over, putting off the decision. Even though, the chance of this relationship continuing was zero anyway. You see him suddenly closing the anime and getting up to get his writing notebook and pen. Of course he'll write now. You aren't surprised that this kind of thing would give him motivation to write. How could he be so chill about all this? But then again, so were you.

A/N: Likes, comments and reblogs are much appreciated!

Do you remember that day?

Han Jisung x reader

Summary: To my older self, holding hands with a best friend doesn't necessarily mean something. But for my 14 year old self it meant a lot more.

Warnings: None

Genre: fluff & angst

Word count: 605 words

~~~~~~~~

I can remember it like it was yesterday. The way I felt that day. It might have not meant much to you, but it did to me. Though, I like to think it meant something to you too.

I think our problem was always our bad timing. When these thoughts crossed your mind, they didn't cross mine and the other way around.

Changbin had told me, that six months before that day, you had admitted something to him. You had been feeling a way about me that a best friend isn’t supposed to feel. It was about a week before I admitted to him that I’ve been feeling those kinds of feelings for you too. I don't know why he didn't tell me right away, but it's understandable. He was supposed to keep our secrets like a good friend.

So, yeah. I think our problem was our bad timing. There is one day though, that felt like the only day we were in tune. The only day we both felt something about each other at the same time.

But we were so cowards. We acted as if nothing happened. We never talked about it again. I'm guessing you've probably forgotten about it. I haven't. Many years later and I still remember it like it was yesterday.

We were just two teenagers. Two teenagers watching a movie together.

You had come with my family and I on our vacation because I had begged you to do so. I really didn’t want to leave, knowing I’d be bored to death and you agreed to come with us easily, to keep me company. You woke up early, even though you never do that, just to prepare your things and come with me. I was so thankful for that.

At night, we sat on the couch and watched TV. After the first movie was over, we watched another one. It must have been about 2am. Everyone else was sleeping.

Somehow, our hands found their way towards each other. My left hand comfortably resting in your right hand. I secretly glanced at our hands and pretended I was putting some stray hair away. But I was also too immersed in the movie to see if you glanced at our hands too.

When the second movie was over, approximately 2 hours later, we let go of each other’s hands and turned off the TV. I don't know who let go first. But we did it without a word. Acting as if we weren't two best friends holding hands.

We collected our things, half empty glasses of water and our empty dinner plates, put them in the sink and headed to the room, where we exchanged a soft ‘good night’ and laid on our beds.

To my older self, holding hands with a best friend doesn't necessarily mean something. But for my 14 year old self it meant a lot more.

I still wonder how you felt. If you felt the same way. I wonder if you really remember it, or chose to forget it and replace the memory with new memories with other people.

We've now grown apart. We never contact each other anymore. But I still wonder. However I know I'll never get my answers.

I honestly don't think you remember any of this and if I ever told you, you'd probably just raise your eyebrow at me in confusion. I think I prefer not knowing the answer, than hating the answer.

But if you ever see this (even though I hope you never do) then tell me; Do you remember that day, Jisung? Did you feel the same way?

Stressed Out - H.J

Pairing: Idol!HanJisungXIdol!Fem.Reader. (feat. Stray kids)

Warnings: ataque de ansiedade (primeira parte, e não entrei em detalhes), desentendimento (o Han é meio cabeção, mas a leitora tbm), acho que é só :)

Fluff

Sinopse: Em uma edição especial do reality show "Kingdom", os boygroups e as girlgroups mais impactante de outras edições se juntam para novas apresentações. Na frente das câmeras, tudo estava bem, mas poucos sabiam os males que assombravam todos os participantes. Na gravação de um dos episódios, uma situação mostra que não devemos ter opiniões precipitadas...

Parte 1 Parte 2

(parte 3?)

{NCT} Just like the past two weeks, you stand alone in the small studio realizing that Jisung will no more be with you, dancing.

Even though it's been long, it's hard to forget his giggles, his smile, his scent, his 'i love yous' and kisses.

Like, I know it's this is just a fanfic, it's not real but omg I want to slap this mf so hard he'll end up on the moon. I kind of hoped one of the boys would do that for me, but it's ok, I can deal with that lol. I honestly loved this fic, it did break my heart into a miliion of pieces, yes, but the ending make up for it. I really would love to see how he would treat her after this, like, how he would act when they are in public or with the boys from now on, I feel like seen that would be perfect honestly. Anyway thank you for this masterpiece!

Movie Night

Han Jisung x thick female reader

Word count: 9.6k (yowza)

A/N: So, I wanted to write this story after the Chan's room comment on his last vlive. I was already working on a Jisung fic and when this idea hit me I HAD to rework the plot because I needed to write this. I hope people that relate to this story know that their worth is not based on their appearance or weight. Everyone has insecurities, fat, skinny, whatever. The content of your heart is what matters and how you treat others. I hope everyone always remembers that. I hope you enjoy reading and if you do, please leave a comment, like, reblog, shoot me an ask, I love the feedback! As always warnings and smut below the cut!

Warnings: MDNI 18+ ONLY! Strong language/cursing, Weight and body image issues are a big part of the plot in this fic, if that can be triggering for you, you might skip this one! Dry humping, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), unprotected piv sex (please don't do this, use protection), cream pie, overstimulation, cum eating, hella praise and pet names (baby, jagi etc), squirting, Jisung get a little possessive but not in a toxic way, mentioning of coming on breasts, mentioning of oral sex (m receiving) and coming in mouth. I think that's everything but if I ever miss a warning, please let me know and I'll add it immediately.

You and Jisung loved having movie nights together. The other guys enjoyed watching movies too but not the way you and Jisung did. You would over load on snacks and sugar and throw popcorn at each other or the screen when the main character of whatever film you were watching did something predictably stupid. It was forty percent watching the movie, sixty percent critiquing, and one hundred percent fun. You were a two-person episode of MST3K minus the robots. Movie nights with Jisung were the highlight of your week.  

It was probably pretty obvious to anyone with eyes that you had a crush on Jisung. Regardless of how obvious it was you would never admit that. Not to him, not to anyone. You weren’t his type and you knew that. You were heavier, perhaps a bit more than beauty standards would consider ‘aesthetically pleasing’, at least that was the view you had of yourself. You knew that didn’t mean you weren’t pretty but you were bigger and you also had eyes. You saw the kind of girls Jisung went after on the rare occasions you had gone to clubs together and they most definitely did not look like you. You also could see what HE looked like. He was not only beautiful and fit but funny and kind. Guys like him didn’t go for girls like you and it was fine. That was fine.  

You cherished the friendship you had with Jisung and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that no matter how strong the feelings you had for him were. What you didn’t realize was that Jisung was trying to deal with the fact that he had feelings for you too. At first, he didn’t see you as any more than a good friend that also happened to be a girl. You weren’t the type of girl he would typically go for. After being friends with you a couple of years now he had become endeared by you and after your last movie night Jisung had come to realize he was completely bewitched and he had absolutely no idea what to do or say now. He was sure you felt the same but he still was holding onto some reservations about perusing something with you and he wasn’t sure why he felt that way when you both were so clearly perfectly matched.  

You and Jisung loved movie nights together. So, it wasn’t unusual for you to be snuggled up on the couch under a blanket at the dorm with Jisung on a Friday night with three or four movies on standby. What was unusual this particular Friday was the awkward air hanging between the two of you. Everything seemed fine the week before and nothing seemed out of the ordinary that night so far. You had agreed on horror movies and you were well into your second one. The first had actually been pretty scary, making you jump a few times gripping Jisung’s arm and hiding your face, cuddling in closer to him under the shared blanket. The movie you were watching now hadn’t been as bad until it was. One of the main girls was slinking through a dark decrepit house and was suddenly snatched from behind by the crazed killer, practically sending you sailing out of your skin. Jisung tensed up when you buried your face in his shoulder for the umpteenth time that night.  

You hadn’t realized it but every time you pressed your plush body closer to Jisung his posture had stiffened as well as other parts of his body. He was very happy for the blanket or hiding his hard on might not have been so simple. There had been something out of the ordinary that night, for Jisung at least, and that was your choice in attire for movie night. You both always opted for pajamas because comfort duh, but you had come out of the bathroom that night after changing into pajamas Jisung had never seen you in before. A crop top with matching fuzzy shorts. His throat went dry the moment he saw you. It was the most of your skin he’d ever seen. He knew you were self-conscious about your body so you usually kept pretty covered up, even now the crop top wasn’t particularly revealing and the shorts weren’t that short but seeing your silky thighs and the fact that he could tell you weren’t wearing a bra under the crop top had Jisung ready to burst.  

When you noticed his tense body language you realized you were practically laying on top of him. Even though you loved being close to Jisung you backed off of him a little, worried you might be making him uncomfortable with your weight on him like that.  

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to... I mean... I’m sorry if I’m crushing you.” Jisung hated hearing you say that. So you were bigger, it didn’t matter, not to him. Even if he had thought you weren’t his type before because of that. He was an idiot. He knew now no matter what size you were you were he thought you were fucking gorgeous. He couldn’t take his eyes off you. He didn’t want you to move further away. He looked at you, his gaze soft and shook his head. He wrapped his arm around your waist under the blanket and pulled you close again. 

“No, you’re not. It’s fine. You’re fine.” Your face felt like it was on fire and your cheeks turned pink. You bit your lip, an unconscious nervous tick and Jisung’s eyes darted towards them. You looked away unable to keep eye contact. Not when he was pulling you close, not when he was holding you, not when his fingertips were grazing the soft flesh of your waist where your shirt had ridden up a bit, not when he was looking at you like... THAT. 

“y/n?” Jisung’s voice was just above a whisper and even though you heard him call your name clearly you still couldn’t meet his gaze and you pretended to focus on the movie. He hooked his finger under your chin and tilted your head up towards him. Was this really happening?! Jisung slowly started to lean in closer. 

“Ji... I...” He only shook his head and focused on your lips as he closed in. You closed your eyes and you could feel Jisung’s warm breath fan across your face, the warmth of his lips hovering so closely to yours. You held your breath waiting to feel just how soft his lips really were. Finally. 

“Han-ah! Do you know whe-” Changbin came around the corner and stopped short when he saw you and Jisung jumping, catching you just about to kiss. 

“Oh! Shit! Sorry I didn’t mean-” Jisung backed up practically pushing you away when he realized Changbin was also in the room and he started stuttering. 

“You didn’t! I mean there was nothing... we’re watching movies.” You swallowed the lump that had quickly formed in your throat and scooted further away from Jisung which did not go unnoticed by either of the men. Changbin cleared his throat. 

“Yea, okay, well do you know where the protein shaker is? I wanted to hit the gym tonight.” Jisung popped up from the couch quickly. 

“Yea. It’s in the kitchen. I can show you; I need a drink anyway. Y/n? Do you need a drink or anything?” You had started focusing on the movie again trying to ignore the feeling in your chest. You glanced quickly at him and then back at the screen slightly shaking your head no. He bit his lip knowing your feelings were hurt by how he’d reacted when Changbin walked in, when you had just been so close to kissing, and he felt guilty. He didn’t want you to think it was because of you, it really wasn’t. When he came back, he’d explain.  

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” You could feel your eyes sting, the familiar burn of tears wanting to surface but you kept your eyes trained on the tv and nodded. Jisung and Changbin went off into the kitchen leaving you in the living room alone, where you took some deep breaths and composed yourself. Maybe it was best Changbin had interrupted. He’d just kept you from making an absolute fool of yourself and ruining your friendship. You went to take a drink of your soda only to find it empty. You kicked yourself for not just telling Jisung yes when he asked if you needed a drink, you pushed yourself up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. Once Changbin and Jisung had gotten to the kitchen Changbin turned to him with an eyebrow quirked and his nose scrunched. 

“OOoookay what was THAT?!” Jisung played stupid like he had no idea what Changbin was talking about. He just wasn’t comfortable with the topic of him and you just yet, not when he wasn’t sure what to do about his feelings. It was awkward for him to admit to Changbin how he felt about you when he hadn’t even told you yet. It would be with any of the guys, he wasn’t completely sure why. 

“What?! What was what?!” You had made it just outside the of the kitchen when you heard Changbin scoff. 

“Y/n!? Come on... I didn’t think you were into girls like... her...” Jisung’s brows furrowed, he didn’t know what to think about what Changbin seemed to be insinuating. 

“Wh-what do you mean?” Changbin rolled his eyes. 

“You know... bigger.” It was just a word and it was trued but the way Changbin said bigger made you feel absolutely disgusting and the tears you had managed to fend off in the living room were fighting back with a vengeance. It had already been awkward and now Jisung felt embarrassed so he lied when Changbin insinuated again that Jisung was into you. 

“No, I mean what do you mean into? I’m not into y/n?” Changbin scoffed again. 

“Oh yea? What was all that I just walked in on then?” Jisung rubbed the back of his neck thinking of an excuse; but why? Why couldn’t he just say that he did like you? Why couldn’t he just say he WAS about to kiss you? What was so terrible about that? Why did he feel so awkward about it? Why did he feel like Changbin would laugh at him or make fun of if he told him? He just wanted to make a quick excuse, whatever would end the conversation. 

“Dude, she’s got a crush on me. She was all over me but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She isn’t really MY type...”Jisung was still and idiot. You thought the inflection Changbin had put on bigger made you feel like garbage, that was until you heard the way Jisung say you weren’t ‘his type’. You knew that but it didn’t make it any easier to hear. You hadn’t even realized the tears were trailing down your cheeks at that point. You didn’t need or want to hear anymore. You quietly grabbed your overnight bag, put on your slides and left. 

Jisung had heard the front door click closed. All the other guys were still out so it could have been any one of them coming in but when a couple of minutes had passed and no one had walked through the dorm Jisung walked back out into the living room to check on you and found it empty, the movie paused and the blanket you had been sharing in a heap on the floor in front of the couch. 

“y/n?” Jisung walked towards the bathroom to check and see if maybe you had gone in there. He knocked but the door creaked open and the bathroom was unoccupied. 

“y/n?” He decided to go back and check his room although it wasn’t likely you were there and Jisung could feel anxiety creeping up on him. He thought back about the look on your face when he’d left you in the living room. He opened the door to his room and as he had suspected, you weren’t in there. He made his way back through the living room on a mission and Changbin tried to stop him. 

“What’s up? What’s going on?” Jisung moved Changbin out of his way and walked towards the foyer, seeing your bag and shoes were gone. 

“FUCK.” Changbin walked up behind Jisung. 

“What? Fuck what?” Jisung spun around and Changbin could see the worry on his face. 

“You... you don’t think she heard us, do you?” Changbin’s face softened when he realized you were what Jisung was worried about. He gave him a sympathetic look and shrugged his shoulders. 

“FUCK!” Jisung slipped on his shoes and jacket and ran out the door hoping you weren’t too far ahead of him. It was the time of year that it was starting to get a bit chilly when the sun was down and tonight was the coldest it had been yet. It wasn’t freezing but definitely too cold for you to be walking off in what you were wearing, not to mention not safe. When Jisung got out to the street he looked up the sidewalk one way and then the other but didn’t see you. He ran in the direction of the closest bus stop and when he rounded the street corner, he saw you under the florescent lights of the bus stop enclosure. You had your big bag by your feet and had your arms wrapped around yourself, hugging your body, clearly trying to keep warm as you waited for the next bus on the line. Jisung ran up towards you. 

“y/n!? Hey! Why’d you take off? It’s fucking freezing out here, take my jacket. Let’s go back inside and finish the movies...” Jisung took his coat off and went to put it around you but you pulled away and tightened your grip on your arms. 

“No, I’m going home. Sorry I was all over you. I know I’m too... heavy... for that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m just... I’m just gonna to go home.” You did your best not to choke on your words and Jisung winced at them knowing you weren’t only upset about how he’d reacted to Changbin but you had heard everything they had said in the kitchen as well. 

“y/n... I... please come back inside you shouldn’t be outside dressed like this.” Of course, he meant he didn’t want you catching cold only wearing shorts and a crop top. You looked away not wanting Jisung to see the fresh tears that were pricking your eyes. 

“I knew I shouldn’t wear stuff like this. I’m only going to bed when I get home so I’ll just deal with the stares on the bus.” He bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and shook his head. 

“I... I didn’t mean it like that y/n... it’s cold out you’re gonna get sick. Please, come back to the dorm.” You finally looked at Jisung and he could see just how hurt you were, your tear rimmed eyes that were already getting puffy and red. That was the final straw, he was a complete asshole. 

“Just... go finish the movies without me Jisung. I’ll... I’ll see you the next movie night.” He sighed in defeat knowing you were definitely not going back to the dorm with him tonight. 

“Look at least take my coat so you don’t catch your death out here and let me wait with you until the bus shows up.” You let Jisung put his coat over your shoulders this time and huddled into the left-over body heat from Jisung having it on. 

“I’d really rather be alone right now Jisung.” You knew you weren‘t going to be able to get a hold of yourself and stop crying if he stayed. He shook his head, sliding a bit closer to you on the bench wanting to be close to you again and hoping some of his body heat might warm you. 

“It’s not safe for you to be out here at night alone.” You slid away putting distance between you again and looked at your feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world and Jisung’s chest felt tight. 

“I’ll text you when I’m home Ji. Just... please...” Your voice started to faulter and Jisung didn’t push any further. 

“Okay. Alright. Please let me know when you’re home safe?” You bit your lip and nodded still looking down as tears welled up in your eyes again. 

“Good night y/n.” Jisung wanted to lean over and hug you, give you a kiss on your forehead, SOMETHING to comfort you. Instead, he just gave a little nod and headed back to the dorm to give you the space you asked for. When Jisung walked back inside Changbin was on his way out to the gym. 

“Hey, everything cool?” Jisung looked distracted but then it registered that Changbin had spoken to him. 

“Oh, uh. I talked to her... she’s going home.” Changbin nodded and headed towards the door but stopped and turned back. 

“Look, Han-ah, there really isn’t anything between you and y/n?” Jisung really didn’t want to talk about it and didn’t want to deal with Changbin messing with him about it anymore but after you hearing him and Changbin in the kitchen and the way you looked at him down on that bus stop he was certain you’d never want anything to do with him, he’d be lucky if you still wanted to be his friend, so he shook his head. 

“No Bin, we’re just friends.” Changbin nodded and cleared his throat. 

“So, it would be okay if say, I wanted to ask her out on a date?” Jisung’s eyes flashed in Changbin’s direction instantly. 

“What?!” Changbin rubbed at the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish. 

“Well yea, I mean she’s really cute man and she’s nice and like I was saying in the kitchen before I know she’s not really YOUR type but you guys are super close so I just wanted to be sure you weren’t interested in her and see if... you know... if you were cool with me asking her out.” Jisung was at a complete loss for words as Changbin waited for a reply. He wondered how many times in one night he could think to himself that he was an idiot. He’d thought Changbin was being judgmental with his line of questioning in the kitchen but he was interested in you. Even if he had been being judgmental why, WHY did it matter?! It fucking didn’t. Because it didn’t change the way you made Jisung’s heart race just thinking about you. Changbin saw the look on Jisung’s face and knew the answer before he even spoke. 

“I... you’re right Changbin she isn’t like the type of girls I’ve dated in the past but...” Changbin wasn’t dumb and wasn’t one to pussy foot around so he just came out with it. 

“Look Jisungie just say you’re into her, it’s alright. I already caught you almost kissing; what's the big deal? She’s into you too. What are you holding back for?” He didn’t know what to say. 

“Sung, is it that maybe you’re a little worried about what people might be thinking if you date a thicker girl?” Jisung looked at Changbin and his eyes said it all. Changbin had hit the nail on the head. Jisung did think you were gorgeous and what other people thought shouldn’t even matter for that reason alone. He didn’t care what some stranger on the street thought of him and you being together but the guys, like Changbin, for some reason, he thought maybe some of the guys would give him a hard time. Of course, none of the guys had given him any reason to think they would tease him about such a thing because none of them would. Jisung had been in his own head too much. Realizing his feelings for you were deeper than friendship had really sent him through a loop. He was worried about the wrong things; he didn’t know how to act around anyone when it came to you and because of that he was epically fucking up. 

“Jisungie...” He focused on Changbin again. 

“Sort your shit out. If you care about her man it doesn’t matter. She deserves better than that Sung, and you know it.” Changbin slapped him on the shoulder, grabbed his gym bag and left to go work out. About twenty minutes after Changbin had left Jisung got a text notification. He sat up quickly in bed and grabbed his phone. 

You laid back in your bed trying to process the whirl of emotions you’d been put through that night. Hope, excitement, disappointment, pain, confusion. It was all too much to process in one night and there was no way you were going to be able to talk about it with Jisung right then, so you cut him off when he tried. Wasn’t he going to kiss you? Had you read that wrong? If he was going to; why would he if he didn’t like you like that? Pity? You hated all the thoughts racing through your head. You just wanted to forget and fall asleep, after a while your mind slowed down and you were finally able to get some rest.  

Jisung had gone all week not hearing from you. He sent a good morning text every day and then a meme or two with an accompanying caption that would say something like ‘laughed and thought of you’ or ‘remember that one time...’ All of his texts went unanswered and he understood why. He’d hurt you in the worst possible way. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try to make it right still. Friday morning, he finally got up the nerve to actually call you. He honestly thought you would ignore the call just like you had his texts but after three rings you answered. 

“Hey Jisung; what’s up?” You sounded drained. All the more reason for you to come over, relax and watch movies with him just like you usually would. 

 “Hey! Uh... I hadn’t heard from you at all this week so I just wanted to make sure we were still on for movie night.” You closed your eyes and chewed at your lip as the memories of the last week’s movie night came flooding back. You had been totally swamped at work, you really hadn’t had time to process a thing, which is why you had been ignoring Jisung’s texts. You had just pushed it down and carried on during the work week because you had to. Now here you were and the feelings were racing head on at you again and you didn’t know if you were ready still. 

“Ji... I... I don’t-” Before you could give any excuse as to why it wasn’t a good idea Jisung interjected. 

“I got comedies like you asked for and all the snacks already. You just have to come over. Will you... come over y/n?” You took a deep breath. Maybe if you just went and kept up with your old routine things would just go back to normal. You didn’t have to talk, just watch movies. 

“Yea, I’ll be over Ji. Is seven okay?” His smile was beaming on the other end of the line, hopeful about the fact that you agreed to come, that maybe, he might be able to fix his fuck up still, even if that meant in the end only being your friend. He would be fine with that. It would be more than he felt he deserved from you. 

“Seven is perfect y/n. I’ll see you then. Bye.” You gave a small hum. 

“Bye Ji, see you.” For you the day seemed to fly by and before you knew it, it was time for you to head to the dorm and you didn’t know if you were really ready to face Jisung again yet. For Jisung the day had seemed to drag on forever. He had finally been honest with himself and the guys and told them all how he felt about you. He asked if he could have the dorm for the night while he tried to smooth things over with you. The guys, of course, were all supportive and agreed to be gone for the night. Jisung frantically cleaned the dorm and staged the living room carefully for your movie night. Snacks spread out, blankets to snuggle up in, all typical staples of your movie nights. Not typical was the dim lighting from candles he’d put out around the room and the lavender oil defusing that Felix had set up for him before he left.  

Just a bit after seven Jisung heard your knock at the door. He opened it and greeted you with his wide toothy smile, the one that reached his eyes and made them scrunch up. If you were exhausted from the work week he couldn’t tell, you looked amazing. He couldn’t help but notice your attire this week was back to the usual pair of sweat pants, t-shirt and a big hoodie over that. Jisung’s smile faltered a bit but he caught himself and moved out of the way to invite you in. 

“Hey! Come on in!” You gave Jisung a small smile and walked in towards the living room. Jisung closed the door and followed closely behind.  

“Do you want me to take your bag or hoodie?” You shook your head. 

“Didn’t bring an overnight bag, I can’t stay this week, and I think I’ll keep my hoodie on for now, I’m kind of chilly. Thanks though.” You looked around the living room as you walked in and noticed the few candles Jisung had lit and could smell the fresh scent of lavender. He walked past you and sat down on the couch grabbing the remote and patting the cushions for you to join him. You swallowed the anxiety and tension you were feeling down and walked over to the couch. Jisung had lifted the blanket he’d thrown over himself so you could sit by him and share, like you usually did, but you opted to sit on the far end of the couch with your feet tucked up underneath you and your knees pulled into your hoodie. You missed the disappointed expression on Jisung’s face because you were trying to look anywhere but at him. Just from the time he had opened the door, your heart had wretched every time you did look at him. He set the blanket back down, making like he’d just been adjusting it a bit and started the first movie of the night, unsure if he was going to be able to focus on the screen at all with the elephant in the room with the two of you. 

You both had managed to get through the first movie. You had chuckled a time or two and even though it wasn’t your usual boisterous laugh Jisung was glad to see, somewhat, of a smile on your face. You were still curled up into yourself on the far end of the couch though and you hadn’t eaten anything. Jisung went to put in the next movie. 

“Don’t let me eat all the snacks y/n. Make sure you get some before I inhale it all and really look like a quokka.” Jisung smiled and puffed his already chubby cheeks out further trying to make you laugh but you just smiled at him weakly. 

“I’m okay Jisung I already had dinner and it probably wouldn’t hurt for me to lay off the snacks a bit.” Like an arrow straight through his heart. His idiocy made you feel this way. That there was something wrong with you that needed changed. He had let his own insecurities about your relationship bleed onto you instead of dealing with his own shit. He fucked up he knew it. He should have been trying to talk things out with you instead of ignoring it. He was just joking around acting like nothing had happened, like he didn’t hurt you. He was trying to make you laugh, but it wasn’t time for his antics, this conversation couldn’t be put off any longer when you were saying things like that about yourself. He couldn’t let it continue. 

“Don’t say that! There’s nothing wrong with the way you look!” You looked up at him a bit surprised by his sudden outburst but your eyes faltered and were cast down again just as quickly. 

“You can say that all you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I need to lose weight. No one wants to date the funny fat girl...” Your voice started to quiver a bit and trailed off, the last thing you said was almost inaudible. 

“... least of all you.” It was so quiet Jisung almost didn’t hear it. 

“What?!” You looked up at him like you’d been caught with your hand in the cookie jar. You hadn’t even meant for it to come out at all let alone for him to hear it. Oh well, what did it matter now. Your feelings had already ruined everything anyway. Might as well lay it all out on the table. 

“Well, it’s true...” You whispered. Jisung sat closer to you on the couch and you shrunk down into your hoodie as you tried to make yourself smaller. 

“y/n. No, it’s not.” Who was he to say that to you when he knew you had heard him. Your voice came out with a bit more venom than before. 

“Jisung, I HEARD you and Changbin. The way you both talked about me...” Jisung went to interrupt you but you put your hand up, stopping him. 

“Let me finish!” He nodded and shut his mouth. 

“When I heard the way you two talked about me, the way he described me, how you said you felt about me, I was disgusted with myself.” You choked back tears and Jisung hated himself at that very moment. If he were any other guy and you had told him about this situation happening, he’d find him and kick his own ass. 

“That night I had finally worked up the courage to wear those pajamas. I’d had looked at them for 3 months before getting the nerve up to wear them in front of you. I hoped that maybe you might see me in them and think, ‘wow y/n is actually kind of pretty’ maybe even sexy. Then we were on the couch and I don’t know I guess I was delusional and thought you were going to kiss me, I read it wrong, obviously. I’ve seen the girls you take home from the club Ji, I’m two of them easily so I wasn’t shocked you weren’t into me but then I heard you in the kitchen. When I looked down at what I was wearing... if I hadn’t been crying Ji, I would have laughed for actually letting myself think for even one second that someone like YOU would ever want to be with someone like me. That YOU would ever think I was pretty or sexy for that matter.” You pulled your knees from your hoodie and stood up as the tears started to fall from your eyes.  

“I... I can’t Ji... I... I have to go. This was a mistake.” You went to go for the door but Jisung grabbed your wrist and stopped you.  

“Wait PLEASE!” You paused in place but didn’t turn to face him. You couldn’t. 

“I’m so sorry. Please, I’m sorry I said any of that stupid stuff, especially since I didn’t mean a single word of it! I... I WAS going to kiss you and then Changbin walked in and I got nervous it had nothing to do with you or how you look I swear. Then when Changbin asked about you in the kitchen I thought he was giving me a hard time about how you weren’t my ‘type’ and then I was embarrassed but it turned out he was asking about me and you because HE wanted to ask you out and he wanted to make sure you and I didn’t' have a ‘thing’ going on. He told me when I came back in that night and I told him... I told him that I did have feelings for you, that I cared about you... more than just a friend.” Now you turned and faced Jisung, your eyes were narrowed but still filled with tears and your voice was weak when you spoke. 

“You AND Changbin have feelings for me? Well, you both have a very shitty way of showing you care about me. Be sure to let Changbin know too.” You pulled your wrist from Jisung’s grip and turned to go walk towards the door again. Jisung ran to stand in front of you, blocking the way, panicked that if you walked out, he may never see you again. 

“Wait! Wait, wait! Don’t go! I... I think I'm in love with you y/n...” You stopped, turned and suddenly slapped Jisung in the face. You didn’t want to hurt him but you just snapped. 

“How dare you! How dare you talk about me behind my back the way you did, make me feel like I was desperate and crazy, like I was undesirable, now you tell me you only said those things because you were embarrassed by me! Embarrassed for one of your friends to think you were interested in a fat girl! Then you have the AUDACITY to say you’re in love with me! Fuck you Jisung!” You started beating against his chest with your fists as you sobbed and cussed at him. 

“Fuck you! FUCK YOU!” He grabbed your arms trying to calm you down. When you realized he was stronger and easily holding you back from hitting him further you did the only thing you could do and fell into his chest, hysterically crying. Jisung wrapped his arms around you and you both sank to the floor. He held you and rocked you, softly humming until you were letting out little gasps and hiccups trying to get control of yourself. 

“No one has ever hurt me like you did Jisung.” He flinched at your words. Knowing that hit him harder than the slap in the face. 

“I won’t ever be able to say how sorry I am and sorry’s will never be enough but if you’ll give me a chance, I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. If you give me a chance y/n I’ll love you like no one ever has before.” Jisung’s hands cupped your face and he looked into your eyes with so much conviction it was impossible not to believe him. 

“Jisung... I...” More tears gathered and fell and Jisung swept them away with his thumbs. 

“Please.” He pleaded with you and you gave him a small nod, then he leaned in and softly kissed your lips. It was so warm, inviting, pulling you in for more but instead you pushed against Jisung’s chest and he pulled back and looked at you. Your eyes flicked between his as you searched for any uncertainty but you only saw love. You gripped his shirt where your hand had been resting on his chest and crashed your lips back into his. The kiss was so heated this time, so needy, you had wanted Jisung for so long and now, now you had him. You straddled his lap but didn’t sit your weight on him as your hands cupped his soft cheeks and you continued to make out. Jisung’s arms wrapped around your midsection pulling you close, your chests pressed together. He wanted you as close to him as possible. He pulled away from the kiss and pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes closed tightly, out of breath from kissing you. 

“Jagi, I want feel every bit of you, want to make you to feel as beautiful as you are...” Jisung toyed with the hem of your hoodie and t-shirt silently asking permission to remove them. You lifted your arms and allowed him to, although you were extremely nervous to be in only your bra in front of him, even in the dim lighting. Jisung lifted the shirt and hoodie over your head and tossed it aside taking in the expanse of skin in front of him. He wanted to touch you everywhere but instead his hands gripped your hips and eased you down so that your full weight was on his lap and your clothed heat was pressing into his hard on. When you opened your mouth to protest putting your weight on him Jisung silenced you with his lips. He gripped your soft hips tighter, fingers digging in to your plush skin as he helped move you back and forth over his erection, finding a rhythm. You pulled away from the kiss panting as Jisung started to meet your grinding with his own. 

“J-Ji... Ji... I don’t want to hurt you...” He stopped, removing his hands from your hips and holding your face so that you couldn’t help but look him in the eyes. 

“Does it look like you’re hurting me?” You bit your lip and softly shook your head no in his hands. Jisung grabbed one of your wrists guiding your hand to grab his hard on underneath you. His eyes closed and his mouth fell open, letting out a breath when you gently squeezed. 

“Does it feel like you’re hurting me?” You were breathless still as you shook your head again. 

“No Jisungie... it feels... good.” You finally breathed out the word. 

“It does feel good jagi. YOU feel good. God keep riding me please!” His hands grazed a soft trail down your full breasts back to your hips urging you to continue your movements. You wrapped your arms around Jisung’s neck and rocked your hips over him again, this time with more vigor and the broken moan that fell from his mouth made you soak your panties. You gripped his broad shoulders and rotated your hips grinding against him with more confidence the more he moaned and panted. 

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum in my pants if you don’t stop jagiya...” You stopped your movements but cupped Jisung’s soft cheeks and continued your assault on his lips. You sat there lazily making out, tongues sliding in and out of each other's mouths, teeth tugging at lips, hands exploring, caressing, until Jisung was forced to pull away to take a breath. His hands ran up your arms and he dragged his fingertips gently back down causing goose bumps to rise in their wake. You looked into his eyes and him into yours, both of you breathless, trying to read the other’s mind. 

“Jisung?” He pressed his lips together giving you a nod and a small smile as his hands found their way to your hips again. 

“Will you... can we...” You knew you wanted Jisung and even though you were on his lap, in your bra and had been kissing and touching each other for quite a bit at that point, you were still self-conscious and scared to ask him what you wanted. You let out a frustrated huff of air, closing your eyes and Jisung cupped your jaw and ran his thumb along your cheek and you looked at him again. 

“Take a deep breath. Whatever you want, whatever you want to ask, it’s okay.” You closed your eyes and took a deep calming breath like Jisung had told you to. 

“Please take me to bed? I want you Jisung, I need you.” You looked down at where you gripped his shirt tightly as you told him exactly what you had been so scared of saying. Jisung dipped his head down catching your eyes in his again. 

“Jagi...” Jisung’s gaze darkened suddenly and before you could think he had his arms wrapped around you and shifted you both so that he was now slotted between your legs laying over you kissing down your neck reaching for the waist band of your pants.  

“Wish you’d worn those shorts again...” He peppered more kisses across your throat and took the fleshy part of your ear lightly between his teeth. 

“You were so fucking SEXY in them I couldn’t take my eyes off of you.” You pushed against Jisung’s chest stopping him then slowly slid out from under him and stood up. He was confused at first, worried maybe he shouldn’t have mentioned the week before but before he could stress out you pushed your sweats down and stood there in your bra and panties. Jisung stood up quickly and took in every inch of skin you were offering up to him. All of it soft, plush, curvy and so inviting. You beckoned him over to you. 

“Come here, touch me Ji.” He didn’t need to be told twice. He invaded your proximity immediately, his hands running along your smooth skin pulling you closer. 

“Fuck you’re gorgeous, don’t know what to touch and kiss first.” Your skin flushed at Jisung’s words and you felt your core throb for him. Jisung’s lips ghosted over your neck before raking his teeth across your collar bone and pulling the prettiest moan he’d ever heard from you. He grabbed your hips and pulled them forward into his. With only his clothes creating a barrier between you, aside from the thin, lacey, boy shorts you were wearing, you could perfectly feel his hard cock pressed against you. Jisung’s eyes closed and his head tilted back a little, he bit his lip and hummed enjoying the warmth of your soft body against his and then he looked at you with a mischievous smile.  

“Come to bed jagi...” He kissed your neck again before pulling you, leading you towards his room, towards his bed. You could feel your nerves starting to come back once you walked into his bedroom. It was still dimly lit but it was brighter than the living room and you felt a bit more exposed and self-conscious. You pulled your hand away from Jisung and went to cover yourself. Jisung grabbed your hand back and pulled you close wrapping his arms around you and pressing his forehead against yours.  

“No. Please? Don’t? You’re perfect,” He peppered soft kisses over your shoulder trying to comfort you and you let out a soft sigh. Jisung pulled away and pulled his shirt off exposing his broad chest and soft tan skin. You would think him evening the playing field by removing some of his clothes would make you feel less nervous but it only made it worse and you went to cover up again. Your hands were slightly shaking when Jisung pulled you close again, his warm skin pressed against yours and you could feel his breath on your neck as he whispered in your ear. 

“You’re so fucking sexy. Please don’t hide.” He pressed soft kisses down the side of your neck again. You could feel tears pricking your eyes and you were so mad at yourself that you were about to ruin this moment. You wanted to believe what he said but you just didn’t feel sexy. Jisung could feel that you were still tense, he pulled back and saw your tears. 

“y/n... what’s wrong? Why are you crying? Did I say something wrong?” You shook your head no. You scoffed at yourself and wiped your tears away. 

“No Ji, it’s okay really, I just need a second. I’m feeling...” You looked down at yourself and Jisung knew. 

“Hey, take a second, take ten, it’s alright jagyia.” He rubbed soft circles on your hips with his thumbs and it started to help your heart rate slow down a bit. When you looked at Jisung again his face was so soft and laced with concern. You leaned in and pressed your lips against his, your fingers threading through the hair at the nape of his neck. It was soft at first but as you felt his skin under your fingertips it became more frenzied. Both of you gripping, squeezing, roaming, moaning into the other’s kiss. You felt a sudden rush of bravery and reached into Jisung’s sweat pants grabbing his dick firmly and stroking it like you had done it to him a hundred times before. It was gentle but not too gentle and the way your thumb brushed that sweet spot under the head of his cock was sinful as you stroked him just fast enough to make him want more.  

“FUCK y/n! Yes, JUST like that.” Jisung lead you towards the bed as you continued to stroke him. When the back of your knees hit the bed you removed your hand from his pants and fell back on it. Your hair spread around your head like an angel and your chest was rising up and down rapidly as you laid there breathless from your desire. Jisung slid his sweats and briefs down at once, his cock springing free and standing firm. It was long and not too thick and curved up. He was gorgeous so it wasn’t surprising that he had a pretty cock too. Feeling it in your hand had been one thing but seeing it now, your mouth watered for him. 

“Jisungie...” You whined for him and he came to kneel between your legs on the bed. His hands traveled up your sides their destination being your breasts which he cupped firmly before grabbing the center of your bra with both hands and ripping it open, your big breasts bouncing free as you gasped in shock. 

“HAN JISUNG, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH A BRA LIKE THAT COSTS!?” Jisung leaned down sucking a nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth until it was perked and hard effectively stopping your complaint. He let go and smirked at you. 

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it. I’ll buy you a new one jagi.” His lips wrapped around your other nipple and he sucked on it gently as you melted underneath him. Jisung kissed his way down your body until his face hovered right over your clothed core. He gripped your panties and looked up at you. 

“These expensive too?” He said quirking his eyebrow at you. You rolled your eyes at him playfully. 

“YES. And my favorite pair so DON’T rip them.” Jisung pouted and then gently slid your panties over your ass and down your legs.  When his face was lined up with your naked, dripping, cunt you started to feel your heartbeat pick up. Before you had a chance to let your nerves get the best of you again, Jisung spread your lower lips open and licked a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit, sucking the bundle of nerves between his pouty lips and drinking in every bit of you. Your hands gripped Jisung’s hair as he licked, kissed, and sucked on your clit. He was messy but with finesse and between your arousal and his spit and drool you were certain there had to be a puddle forming underneath you. 

“Ji... oh my god! I’m... I’m...” He hummed in satisfaction that he had you unable to form words and the vibrations from his mouth against your pussy sent you reeling into a mind-blowing orgasm. Your thick thighs clamped around Jisung’s head as you thrust your hips up grinding against his tongue and face. Only when your body relaxed back onto the bed and you were a shuddering mess did Jisung stop kitten licking your sensitive clit. He climbed on top of you and started kissing you, first all over your face, then by your ear, down your neck and shoulder. His lips left your skin and he looked at you for a second thinking about how he’d almost fucked everything with you up, about how he could have lost you but now here you were underneath him panting and glowing still trying to recover from your orgasm. When you opened your eyes and looked at Jisung he leaned down and softly kissed your lips as he slowly pushed the tip of his cock inside you. 

“Fuck! So wet, so soft!” The further Jisung sunk into the faster your soft puffs of breath came out and when he bottomed out inside you, you gasped. He looked at you quickly. 

“Are you okay jagi?” You nodded biting your bottom lip overwhelmed by the feeling of him inside you after just coming down from your first orgasm. Jisung rolled his hips testing to see your reaction. Your eyes went wide and you gasped again.  

“Jisungie! Oh, my fucking god! You feel so good inside me! Please don’t stop!” Jisung started giving you steady hip rolls fucking you slow and deep. He thrust his cock deeper into you, his pelvic bone adding pressure to your clit as well. Your body was buzzing with excitement and your fingers and toes felt like they were going numb from the pleasure. The sound of your drenched cunt and Jisung’s hips slapping against your soft thighs egged him on and he started to fuck you faster, pulling out further and pushing back into you harder each time. 

“FUCK jagiya you take my cock so well beautiful. Look at how well we fit together jagi FUCK!” You looked down where Jisung’s dick, coated in your juices, disappeared inside you and clenched at the sight. 

“Fucking perfect just like I said baby, your pussy was made for me, this is mine now.” Jisung spit on two of his fingers and started rubbing your clit quickly pushing you towards your next orgasm that much faster. 

“God YES Ji please... please... please...” Jisung smiled down at you, sweat dripping down his face. 

“Please what gorgeous, what do you want?” You gripped Jisung’s hips, his soft skin warm under your touch. 

“PLEASE FUCK ME HARDER! MAKE ME CUM JI! FILL ME UP JAGIYA!” Jisung lost his mind hearing you say that, call him that. He gripped your hips and started railing you as hard and fast as his body would let him. The sweat from his face and hair dripping down his chest and back now his teeth clamped onto his bottom lip. 

“You’re gonna let me cum in this tight pussy right jagi? You’re gonna take my load and let me mark what’s mine yea?” You moaned out your approval. 

“FUCK yes! Ji fuck fuck! Give me your cum fucking make me yours Jisung... I’m yours!” You came hard around his cock as he continued to drive into you chasing his own climax and prolonging yours. Your body rolled and your hips chased his as you rode out the best orgasm you’d had in your life. 

“FUCKING beautiful! God you’re gorgeous when you cum y/n... FUCK I can feel your pussy quivering on my fucking cock, you feel so good jagi!” You started coming down from the high of your orgasm, body still buzzing like a million bees lived under your skin and you started begging Jisung. 

“Fuck Ji you’re gonna give it to me right? Fuck I want it so bad! Please cum inside me please! It's gonna be a big load yea? Fuck I hope it’s a big load jagiya, need you to fill me up good, need to feel you dripping from my cunt.” Jisung’s head tilted back as his hips stuttered and he unloaded inside you. 

“FUUUUUuuuuuck jagiya FUCK! Fucking take it! You wanted a big load baby there you go! FUCK! Take my cum like a good girl yea?” Jisung stayed buried inside you until his cock started getting soft. When he pulled out a huge trail of cum came dripping out after. Jisung took two fingers and scooped up the mixture of yours and his cum and sucked them clean. 

“Fuck beautiful...” He ran his fingers through the trail of cum still leaking from your hole collecting more of your mingled juices and he brought his fingers to your lips this time. 

“Taste.” You opened your mouth and sucked on his fingers, swirling your tongue around his digits and humming in delight. 

“Good yea jagi? We taste perfect together.” Jisung scooped the remaining cum dripping from you up and pushed it back inside you pumping his fingers slowly in and out. 

“J-Jisung... I... I ca-” 

“One more jagiya, just one more, you can give me one more yea?” Jisung’s fingers picked up speed and he fucked them into you harder, curling them and easily finding your g-spot. 

“FUCK JI! I... I... FUCK JI!” That was exactly what he was looking for, he plunged his fingers deep into you only bringing them out a millimeter or so and pushing them deeper, then leaned down and sucked your cum glazed clit into his mouth, slurping on you as he fucked your hole hard with his fingers, the cum he filled you with coating them and dripping down your asshole, causing you to clench around his fingers that seemed to find that delicious spot inside you with precision. 

“Squirt for me jagiya, fucking cum on me baby.” He whispered against your pussy before diving back in and devouring your cunt like a ravenous animal. Between Jisung’s fingers and mouth the taut string inside you snapped. 

“MMmm FUCK FUCK JI OH FUCK I’M COMING I'M COMING!” You had never squirted before in your life but suddenly you were soaking Jisung and his sheets. His fingers, still deep inside you, gently massaging your g-spot, giving your clit tiny little licks with the tip of his tongue as you finished coming on his face and started twitching and shuddering from the overstimulation. When Jisung removed his fingers and sat up you saw your cum dripping from his chin and glistening on his chest. 

“Oh my god, did I?!” Jisung smirked and leaned over kissing your lips softly before giggling against them. 

“Cum all over me? Yea baby you did and it was sexy as fuck!” You blushed and tried to push him off as he buried his face in the crook of your neck and tickled you with his kisses and love bites. You pushed harder and he finally sat up, he got very quiet and looked down at you softly smiling. The longer Jisung’s eyes roamed your naked body the more uncomfortable you got. Now that you weren’t caught up in the heat of the moment and lost in the pleasure Jisung had been giving you, the little negative voices in your head came back to put you back in your place. You grabbed a throw blanket he had at the foot of his bed and went to cover up feeling far to exposed in the moment. Jisung thought you looked so beautiful; you didn’t need to cover up. He wished he had never said the things he did, that he’d never made an insecurity you already had worse. He had looked at you laying there your full breasts, the soft tummy rolls, the plush love handles just over your hips, your thick ass and thighs, FUCK you were perfect but when you saw him staring at you like that you only felt overwhelmed by your doubts about your body. 

“Why don’t we go take a shower yea? Get cleaned up and go to bed?” Jisung’s suggestion sounded so tempting, a nice hot shower after getting fucked senseless but it also meant standing under florescent bathroom lights where he’d be able to see ever stretch mark, every dimple of cellulite, every flaw. He could see you having an internal battle with yourself over it. 

“Hey...” You looked up at him like you’d been startled from your thoughts. 

“I know whatever is going on in that gorgeous noggin of yours is my fault right now...” You pressed your lips together. 

“Jisung no...” He shook his head and put up his hand stopping you. 

“y/n yes, it is. It might have been something you were self-conscious about already but I only threw fuel on the fire. I PROMISE I will do whatever I can to prove to you that you are a beautiful human being, just the way you are. I PROMISE I’ll always make sure to tell you how absolutely stunning you are and how you are leaps and bounds out of my league and yet for some reason you slum it for me.” He winked at you and you laughed. 

“So... shower?” He suggested again. You smiled and nodded. Jisung stood up and offered his hand to help you off the bed. You headed to the bathroom with Jisung fused to your back kissing whatever his lips could find. 

“You know if we fuck in the shower I could cum all over these and clean you right up.” His hand squeezed your breasts tightly before roaming over your tummy, your hips and ass. You were barely up the hall and Jisung was already trying to slide his fingers through your folds again. When you got to the bathroom door you turned and pecked his lips. 

“That’s true jagiya, or you could cum down my throat and I could just swallow it and have no mess at all.” You licked up his lips to the tip of his nose and went into the bathroom as he stood there speechless for a moment before chasing after you.

Tag list: @ughbehavior @chansynie @jquellen27 @caroline-ds-world

Don't Worry, I'm Here For You.

Paring: Han x 9th member! Male Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Han will always be there when you have a panic attack.

More: Masterlist

A/n: I am mentioning panic attacks in this because I sometimes experience asthma attacks. Although I understand that they are not the same thing, they share some similarities.

I also just finished the first season of Jujutsu Kaisen, and it's so good. I'm currently watching the movie right now.

As the members of Stray Kids and backup dancers filed onto the stage, adrenaline pumping and anticipation swirling, Y/N couldn't help but feel a wave of unease wash over him. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves as he scanned the stage, searching for a familiar face. There it was, towards the back of the arena, a familiar pair of eyes that seemed to hold him together when everything else spun out of control. It was Han, his bandmate and closest friend in the group. But as he focused on Han, something unexpected happened. His breath hitched, his chest tightened, and a cloud of darkness began to creep in at the edges of his vision. He tried to fight it, but it was no use. Before he knew it, Y/N had ducked off stage and sprinted towards the nearest restroom.

Once inside a secluded stall, Y/N collapsed against the door, the familiar weight of a panic attack pressing down on his chest. He felt hot tears stinging at his eyes, his throat constricting as he struggled to catch his breath. Just as he was about to lose himself to the overwhelming terror, he heard a voice from outside the stall. It was Han's voice, calm and reassuring. "Hey, you okay in there?" Y/N couldn't respond; he could only manage a choked sob. A moment later, the stall door creaked open, and Han peered inside. "Y/N?" he asked, alarm etched into his features. "It's me, Han. I'm here. We'll get through this together."

As Han knelt beside him, Y/N felt a sense of relief wash over him. He wrapped his arms around his friend, burying his face in Han's shoulder as he tried to steady his breathing. "I'm sorry," he managed to choke out between sobs. "I didn't mean to ruin the performance… I just can't…" of relief wash over him. His bandmate had always been there for him, understanding the intricacies of panic attacks better than anyone else. Han passed him a small bottle of water, and Y/N took a shaky sip, his breath slowly beginning to steady. "Thanks," he managed to croak out, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

Han gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "It's not your fault, Y/N. You know that. Panic attacks don't discriminate, and they're not a sign of weakness. We're all here for you, and we'll get through this together." He pulled a small, discreet inhaler from his pocket, handing it to Y/N. "Just in case you need it," he added with a gentle smile. Y/N took the inhaler, feeling a wave of gratitude wash over him.

As they sat there in the quiet of the bathroom, the sounds of the arena slowly beginning to filter back in, Han reached out and took Y/N's hand. Their fingers laced together, and for a moment, they simply sat there, lost in their own thoughts. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes about the bond they shared, the understanding they had for each other's struggles.

"You know," Han began softly, "I've had my own share of panic attacks on stage. It's not easy, dealing with them in front of all those people. But we've made it this far, and we'll keep going together. We'll figure out what works for you, what helps you manage them. We've got each other's backs." Y/N nodded, feeling a sense of comfort and strength emanating from his friend.

As they sat there, lost in their own thoughts, the weight of the panic attack seemed to lift ever so slightly. It was then that Y/N realized something else: he was no longer alone. He had his bandmates, his friends, and Han by his side, supporting him every step of the way. It was a realization that brought a small, hesitant smile to his lips.

"Thanks, Han," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I don't know what I'd do without you." Han squeezed his hand in response, his own smile genuine and warm.

"We're a team, remember? And we'll always have each other's backs."

I love this so much. I have the biggest soft spot for Jisung but I don’t see a lot of writings for him compared to the other dreamies so I always love finding something so amazing like this fix right here.

title — the things i know pairing — soccerplayer!jisung x female reader genres — angst, fluff, high school au, strangers to lovers au, first love au, long distance relationship, hurt and comfort, coming of age overall warnings — underage drinking, cancer, character death, language, mentions of hickeys, fainting, mentions and descriptions of hospitals, soccer inaccuracies, lots of angst (you’ve been warned!) word count — 14.8k summary — jisung has never been keen on growing up, or even understanding what adulting means. at seventeen, all he knows is: he loves soccer (and he’s damn gifted at it), and girls are very pretty but also plenty scary. then he met you, his first love who turned his life upside down and made his stomach roll like the soccer balls he loved to kick around the field. but when your cancer comes back after years in remission, jisung thinks, he doesn’t really want to grow up anymore. playlist — falling, harry styles ; your guardian angel, red jumpsuit apparatus ; my first and last, nct dream ; bye my first, nct dream ; orchid, jeremy zucker

additional — for the heartbreak hotel collab hosted by @nct-writers​. my concept in the five stages of grief was “acceptance and hope.” thank you to my babes @suh-insane​ and @astroboy-lele​ for proof-reading!

The thing about knowledge is that you never know when or what you’re going to learn. There’s no way for you to predict what will be of your mind when you fall into bed that night, surrendering to the moon. In the morning, there’s no telling what knowledge your brain will choose to store away for remembrance over the course of the night, and what your brain will decide is unnecessary. What you decide not to remember is a memory you can’t even miss. 

When you wake up every morning, you don’t know if you’ll go to bed having met someone who will change your life forever. 

At seventeen, there are two things that Park Jisung knows. One, he loves playing soccer (and he’s damn good at it, the way his long legs carry him across the field in what seems to onlookers like seconds). Two, girls are very pretty but plenty scary as well. 

The day starts out normally, like any other away game that the team plays.

He wakes up at six o’clock on the dot, and eats a large breakfast to hold him over for the game, then packs a few granola bars into his soccer bag and lets his sister know he’s leaving before he jogs the way to the park where the bus is waiting for his team. The ride is normally an hour long, so he either tucks his earbuds into his ears and tries to get in a short nap or he converses with his teammates. 

Today though, the bus ride is three hours long. Crossing his hoodie-clad arms across his chest to act against the cold air of the bus, he focuses his gaze outside and watches as the town goes by. 

“Yo, Jisung, check this out!” 

Keep reading

[12:24 am]

jisung comforts you and your broken heart while simultaneously breaking his own as he listens to your lovesick rambles

can i PLEASE get some more park jisung fics/imagines PLEASE IM BEGGING