Levi Ackerman Oneshot - Tumblr Posts

[ 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒈𝒐 ] levi ackerman

▸ description: in which you're in the verge of death and levi chooses between you, erwin or armin. ▸  pairing: reader 𝒙 levi ackerman ▸ genre: angst ▸ warnings: major character death (y/n), mentions of blood and death. levi is a bit ooc ▸  a/n: this is my first ever one shot please, please give me validation!

FOR ALL YOUR life you have been fighting for the freedom you have always wanted. You wanted to go beyond the wall, you wanted to see the world beyond. Yet freedom cost more than you think. Yes, you were willing to sacrifice your own life for freedom, you knew that. In the back of your head you already accepted that death was inevitable. 

You allowed your right hand to fall onto the wound on your torso that was covered by your scout uniform. You tried to yell for help but your throat felt like sandpaper and your eyes had started to drop within the second. However, you were stubborn as hell so you tried to fight it. Fight it, y/n. You are a captain in the scout regiment you're not gonna die so easily, not until someone sees you. You thought to yourself. 

You thought you’d die without anyone seeing you or anyone. It’s funny how you tried to cling to your life but you already knew that you were dying. Not yet, you thought, I just need to see him, one last time, please. Him, all you could think about was him right now. 

“y/n!” Hange? “Jean! Connie! Over here!” You heard different noises but soon enough you felt your body being lifted from the rubble you laid on. You also felt something starting to wrap around your torso. “Stay with me y/n.” Hange continued to mutter towards her as he banged your wound. Trying her best to stop the bleeding.

“Hange..” you managed to whisper. “I’m happy you're alive.” Your voice was hoarse and barely there but it was heard by your bestfriend. Hange smiled at you slightly, trying their best to be positive that you’d be safe, that you’d survive. 

“I’ve got you. Captain.” Jean mutters as he carried you. The boy looked at Hange and they nodded their head. You, however, you were starting to fade away. Your conscious was in and out. All you could feel was the wind against your skin, the same thing you felt whenever you used your gear. The feeling you loved more than anything in the world. The feeling of flying. For you it was the feeling of being free.  

“Hey, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Jean whispered once he landed while carrying you on his back. His eyes landed on Armin who was practically burnt then on nearly dead Erwin. 

“No way..” Connie mutters in shock as well. 

“You cant be serious.” Hange added as she saw the two as well. They knew it was now a choice of who gets the serum. Hange struggles to hold back Mikasa as Levi’s gaze goes to the girl on Jean’s back. HIs eyes widened at the sight of you almost lifeless. Your skin color was paler than before and the white bandages now dark red from the blood that spewed from your wound. Jean had already placed you just beside Erwin. Everyone watched as Levi walked closer to your body. 

As you struggled to open your eyes, you tilted your head to the side. Blurriness was all you saw but once your vision cleared just a bit you saw two more bodies. Armin and Erwin, both struggling for their lives like you were. You knew it would come down to a decision hard to make. Was it Erwin? Humanity’s greatest chance of achieving victory. Was it Armin? The boy who had an incredible mind that could save humanity. Or is it you? The girl who could change the world. It was no doubt that Eren and Mikasa wanted it to be Armin, while Hange and Floch knew it was supposed to be Erwin, but Levi? He knew it could to be you. He knew you were capable of leading the regiment, you have always been Erwin’s choice to be the next commander yet you denied it as you wanted to retire after the retake of Wall Maria. Was it a selfish choice? Yes it was, but for once can he be selfish?

“Y/N…” Levi said in a low tone, your eyes slowly went from Erwin to the man beside you. You did your best to smile, even if it hurt, when you saw Levi’s eyes. Levi listened to Hange give a speech about what they felt when it comes to losing someone. They all knew this was a hard decision to make especially to Levi. Hange knew how much Levi had grown fond of you, whether it was because of your stubbornness or your sweet smile, Levi had grown to like you.

 The captain had already taken the serum and injection from its case when Eren grabbed a hold of his ankle. Eren asked Levi about the sea, while for you everything was starting to grow heavy. You wanted to rest, even for a short time. You heard Levi telling them to leave. Once again you heard the gears go off and you knew you were left there with Levi, who has the toughest job of all. To choose between the three of you. 

When you felt the sleeve of your jacket being pulled up, your eyes opened. Your hands shakily grabbed Levi’s hands, a small smile on your face. The smile that he wished to see every morning. “Make the right choice.” 

“I am.” he replied shortly. “I know you could help lead us to victory.” 

“I’m not the right choice, we both know that.” Your voice came out weaker than before, Levi knew your time was running out. 

“I can’t lose you too.” he mutters, His mother, Isabelle, Furlan, Eld, Petra, Ororou, Gunther, the list goes on, he lost so many already. Not you too.

You managed to laugh a bit. “I won’t leave you.” you said softly. You struggled to move your right hand but you did, you place it on where Levi’s heart was. “As shitty as it sounds, I’ll always be here.” 

“You should've stayed behind.” Levi mutters. “You told me you were gonna stay behind, it would've been easier.” 

“I never liked easy things.” you started off. “Maybe that’s why I liked you. Being your friend wasn't easy, making you smile was the hardest thing I ever did.” you continued to ramble even if your body hurt, you wanted to say these things first. “But believe it or not, it’s the best thing I did. Levi, I know the decision isn't easy but I know you’ll do the right thing.” you advised and gave him one last smile. “For humanity, I’m happy enough to lay my life.” she mutters to herself, convincing herself that she was okay with this. 

“You can let me go, now.” you say happily, even if pained you to leave him by himself, you couldn't fight fate. “I love you.” and with those words you drew your final breath. 

Levi looked at you, sadness in his eyes. He saw as the smile still on your face was now lifeless. He knew he would do the right thing like you said, even if it broke him. He was supposed to open his mouth to say the words you have been dying to hear for him. I love you too. 

But he was too late.

captured

levi x reader

request from: @mysticalduerre

tags: angst // violence // fluff

word count: 2k

________________________________

the sound of chains rattling woke you from your already restless slumber, being reminded of your uncomfortable confinement as you blinked fog out of your eyes. you were greeted with the heart wrenching view of levi’s limp form being held up by the wrists from the heavy chains hanging from the stone ceiling.

the man’s black hair was disheveled, creating a dark shadow over his eyes while his head hung over his bare chest. he was finally able to sleep, exhausted from hours of torture. you were surprised when levi had demanded to be tortured in your place, he claimed that you were just a clueless cadet that knew nothing of the scout regiment’s plans. his statement was only half true, you were a cadet, but you weren’t clueless.

levi never kept secrets from you, you were the only person in the regiment that was able to gain the captain’s trust. though, you never knew how or why you were able to gain levi’s favor, you never questioned it. you eyed the captain’s body from the corner that you were chained to.

you felt grateful that you were given a long chain that allowed you some freedom to move.

you couldn’t tell how long you were out, but you figured it must’ve been a while. you tried to silently inch forward in levi’s direction desperately wanting to console him in whatever way you could. the closer you got, the more apparent levi’s wounds became in the low light. deep cuts and slashes were scattered across his pale skin, you took in a sharp breath as you grazed your fingers over his abdomen trying to access the damage.

you had never been so close to levi before, the two of you always kept at a safe distance, not wanting to intrude on each other's boundaries.

your fingers slid over his chiseled abdomen lightly, while you internally chided yourself for never telling the man how you really felt. you wished you could say that it was all the time you spent together that caused you to love him, but that would be a lie. you knew that you loved levi the second you locked eyes with him years ago. you could still remember how his cold eyes and quizzical brow softened when his eyes met yours, it was like the two of you caught onto the same wavelength and never let go since that moment.

your daydream was cut short, levi’s head shot up, groaning loudly into the large gag jammed into his mouth. the crazed look in his eye slowly subsided when he realized that it was you that was caressing his body. you shushed levi, reaching up to cup his blood splotched face, “shh.. it’s me. it’s me. you’re okay.” you reached up to remove the damp cloth out of levi’s mouth, he coughed and sputtered at its removal.

levi’s chest heaved up and down quickly looking at you with half lidded eyes, “hi.” was all he could manage.

you couldn’t help but laugh as you drug your thumb across his cheek. tears pricked your eyes as you looked at the man fondly, your heart swole with love, “hi captain.”

levi leaned into your touch as much as the chains would let him, the two of you stood in silence while his gray eyes bore into yours.

heat rose to your cheeks as you tried to cultivate the bravery to confess to levi how you’ve felt about him all this time. you didn’t know if the two of you would ever make it out of this stone lined hell-hole, and you didn’t want to die letting your words go unsaid. you were never good at putting your thoughts and feelings into words, you were not an articulate poet, you were a soldier. how could you tell him that you loved everything about him?

you loved every little thing about levi. you loved his stern glares. you loved his love for earl grey tea, the way he sucked his teeth when irritated, the way he had the ability to be as strong as a hundred year old oak tree, and as swift as a feral alley cat. you loved how he was effortlessly good at everything, and didn’t chide you when nothing seemed to come easily to you.

the silence was finally broken from levi calling your name. the man realized that your mind was far away, “we don’t have much time, they'll be back any minute.” your eyes lost their glaze as your brain returned to the moment, paying close attention to levi’s words, “i don’t want to scare you but i have to be truthful, my body will probably give out after this next round of lashings. it’s very unlikely that i’ll make it out of here, but that doesn’t mean you can’t. my only priority is keeping you alive, because i-“ his words were cut short at the sound of a key turning in the iron lock of your cell.

a stocky middle aged man dressed in a military police uniform entered the room, locking the door behind him, “unless you want what he’s having i suggest you get back to your corner before i shorten your chain.” if looks could kill, the man would certainly be dead. you inched backwards never breaking eye contact with the MP, while levi kept his gaze on you.

the MP retrieved a leather whip out of his standard issue coat, not bothering to re-gag levi as he positioned himself at the captain's back. your heart pounded in your chest while your mind ran at a thousand miles per hour, desperately trying to think of a way to free levi. you knew levi wouldn’t survive not even ten lashes, he had already lost too much blood.

levi kept his eyes on you, letting out a deep breath readying himself for what would come next, “i was going to say..” levi took a moment to collect his thoughts not wanting to say the wrong thing, “i was going to say that i love you. i’ve always loved you. i’m sorry i didn’t say it sooner.”

you were at a complete loss for words, you never imagined that levi would reciprocate your feelings. you wanted to say ‘i love you too’ but you were in too much shock to form coherent words. before you could respond the MP laughed as he wound the whip around his fist, “ah how sweet. he loves you, now the pretty girl gets to see her lover beaten to death. how romantic.” you glared at the man laughing behind levi, telling yourself that if you had the chance to kill this man you wouldn’t hesitate.

the man lifted the whip above his head and quickly brought it down on levi’s back. a strange sound came out of your mouth as levi’s body jumped from the impact. blood splattered against the whip and the man’s hand. you couldn’t help but scream when the man lifted his hand again, afraid that this could be the blow to end levi’s life.

the MP clumsily lost his grip on the whip as he brought it down, sending it flying just a couple of feet away from you. you didn’t waste a second, immediately reaching down to grip the whip. the man tried to rush you, which only made it easier for you to land a blow across his face. the whip made a sharp snap sound at the contact of his skin. blood gushed from the man’s face as he yelled out in pain, staggering around blindly gripping his face.

you jumped on this man’s back, using your chained wrists to choke the man out. the man fell to his knees but you didn’t relent, you tightened your grip until his body went still. levi was barely conscious, you spoke to him in a pleading tone as you snagged the keys from the man’s coat, “i need you to stay awake levi! i’m getting us out of here just stay awake for me!”

sweat beaded on your forehead as you hastily released your wrists from the confines of the iron cuffs, quickly making your way over to levi. humanity’s strongest solider was barely clinging to life when you unlocked his cuffs. you slung levi’s arm over your shoulder while you tried to make a quick and silent escape. there was no telling how many MP’s could be lurking around this compound. you needed to find a horse quickly.

levi groaned in your ear as you pulled your bodies forward through the stone paved corridors. you followed the flame torches that lined the walls hoping that it would lead you to the outside world. you figured that it must be late in the night since you hadn’t run into any other MP’s on your journey.

the two of you finally made it to a thick wooden door, you prayed that it led outside as you twisted the knob. the cool night air poured over your skin, you let out a sigh of relief as you gripped onto levi tighter, “we’re gonna be okay, just gotta find a horse.” you said as you spotted the stables just a few yards away.

you hurriedly pulled levi’s limping body through the stables seeking out a horse that could easily carry the two of you back to base. levi was still breathing heavily into your neck feeling tired and delusional from the blood loss, “i’m sorry. i’m sorry i couldn’t be the one to save us.” you shushed the man while you decided upon a large black horse near the stable doors, “shh. save your energy. you’ve done enough.” you said as you helped ready him to board the horse.

you were surprised that levi still had enough strength to pull himself onto the horse, he swung himself onto the horse clumsily and you quickly followed suit by settling yourself in front of him so you could guide the horse. you finally felt a sense of safety when levi wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head in the crook of your neck. you smiled at his action as you snapped at the reins sending the horse galloping forward.

_______

levi never did much sleeping, you thought about this as you felt your anxiety grow as you watched him rest peacefully under the white sheets. you were afraid that he lost too much blood. afraid that he might not wake up. you paced around the captain’s room not knowing what to do with yourself as you waited for him to show any signs of life.

levi’s voice broke through the silence, “can you please come sit the fuck down, i can hear your loud ass thoughts from over here.” he said in a groggy voice. you couldn’t help the pure excitement that took over your body, you quickly returned to levi’s side. you reached to grip the man’s hand as you pressed your forehead to his, you felt breathless and overcome with joy that the love of your life was alive and well right in front of you.

levi smiled under you, gripping your face, finally closing the distance between your lips. his kiss was strong and resilient, just like the love you had for him. your tongues clashed together fervently, never being able to get enough of each other. his kiss was a place that you could get lost in forever. like home. you never wanted to leave this spot, you wanted to stay in his arms forever with his lips wrapped softly around yours.

you tried not to protest when levi broke the kiss. your foreheads still rested against each other as he looked into your eyes, “you don’t know how long i’ve wanted to do that.” he said breathlessly.

two ghosts standing (in the place of you and me)

summary: the war is over now, and you had promised on your dying breath to wait for him.

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

tags/warnings: character death (but its ok cause its set in the afterlife), you literally are just waiting for your bae to join you in the afterlife and he does, this is ridiculously sappy, angst with a happy ending

a/n: hi this is the result of me FORCING myself out of a writers block by making myself come up with an idea and write it in one sitting and here she is a little drabble/one shot. enjoy!

-------------

When he wakes up, the air smells faintly of autumn, thick and full as he takes an easy breath in. Cracking his eyelids open and turning his head to the right finds him at eye level with blades of green grass, the early morning dew still not yet having left them as they shake gently with passing wind. Shades of purple and pink, yellow and orange compromise the sky above him as he blinks to take it in. He should be afraid, he realizes. Just moments ago, he was falling asleep. But he’s not afraid. Wherever it is, it’s almost silent. Almost. Somewhere in the distance, he recognizes the sound of crashing waves upon a shore, a sound synonymous to easy and effortless joy. He hears that same sound hit the wooden docks outside his window every morning, on the mainland far away from the island that raised him. He hears that same sound in memories, but it's often accompanied by sounds of high pitched laughter and the feeling of warmth and adoration.

He gets up from the ground, and begins to walk to where he hears the water.

The feeling of stretching his legs, letting his feet guide him, and the muscles of his legs supporting him is foreign. He missed it. He missed this. So much of his life relied on his legs, but that life seems like eons ago as similarly as it seems like moments ago. He was always running, always chasing. 

In happier memories, he’s walking to the ocean in the same way he walks to it now, but in his memories, he’s not alone. It was dark then, the summer air having cooled into the nighttime, but that same sweet sound, the monotonous rhythm of the water hitting the ground, played the same way he’s hearing it now. There were so many stars. He remembers even now the constellations that you pointed out, relaying to him stories of fallen heroes and star crossed lovers who found their way to the skies after their tragic downfalls.

He used to be in love, he remembers now as he walks. He doesn’t really think that that love ever went away. He thinks of you every single time he’s by the water, even if it's just on the docks of the Marley port now instead of the sandy beaches back home. He remembers the way you looked that night as you both snuck away from duties, if only for a few hours. Two abandoned green capes traded for soft linens and towels until you had to return when the sun rose.

He had always believed his love for people is what drove them to their demise. Anybody he had ever let get too close was snatched away, and always due to his reasoning. Bad judgment calls, 

fear, poor timing. He was always just moments too late when it came to saving those he loved. And you, for all of your strength and prowess, fell to the same fate. You had never promised him you would live long in the life you had chosen as a Scout - because it would be wrong to promise the impossible - but you could promise him he helped you live well . You always talked about moments. That the small stuff was the important stuff. He can fondly recall many late nights reading where you couldn’t put down your book, early mornings of you curled into his chest as he drank his tea and got a headstart on paperwork. Racing through wooded training grounds on ODM gear, sneakily stealing the bread off his tray in the mess hall when you thought he wouldn’t notice (he always did), the coordination between the pair of you in battle, exploring the cities within the walls you called home. Waking up with your hair in his mouth and his arm slung over your waist. Practicing dancing in his office for military banquets, hearing you hum quietly in his adjoined bedroom as you got ready for bed while he finished work in his office. 

And oh, god, how he would have given anything to grow old with you. To shift the moments you had to become memories and make new moments, make enough to last a lifetime.

But war takes.

War doesn’t care who somebody is to the people around them. War doesn’t care that the losses that it leaves in its wake were people . 

And he often tries not to think about it, but the memory catches up to him sometimes. His step falters even now as he thinks about warm blood as it pools under his knees and he’s screaming at you to please damn it, don’t leave me too just keep your eyes open stop it stop -

"I'll see you soon." You had uttered it like a promise. 

The war itself may be the thing that stole you away, but he was, as always, merely a moment too late.

Thinking about you and him on the beach is a much more pleasant scene in his mind. He likes to remember you like that.

The air doesn’t smell as crisp as it did now, giving way to the scent of salt as the terrain under his feet changes, his feet giving way now with each step he takes in the sand. The crashing waves are tangible now, deep green and blue and always moving, the sound roaring, a cacophony of ebbing and flowing.

He knows who he will find here before he even sees them. He quickens his pace, if only slightly.

He walks closer, close enough that he could reach out and touch, and moves to sit down, no discomfort aching in his joints now as he crosses his legs neatly upon the sand, and takes in the person beside him as they watch the crashing waves. A sweet, familiar smell joins the scent of the salty air, and his lips quirk.

Maybe this is what home is supposed to smell like, he muses. 

He turns his head. You’re dressed in soft clothes, laying on the sand, turning your head to meet his gaze with a soft, ever knowing smile.

“Hey you! Much to catch me up on, huh?”

wings wouldn't help you down

summary: "he isn’t one to believe in a higher power. he isn’t a religious man. but in this moment, he asks the universe to please, just be kind to him. just this once.

and the universe laughs."

(or: the 5 times you wake up, and the one time you don't).

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

word count: 4k

tags/warnings: major character death, a loose little 5+1 idea, the poor captain is whipped for u, many fluffy moments, some lowkey hurt/comfort, but some MAJOR angst too sorry not sorry, for the sake of the argument the end of this is loosely based around the 57th expedition

a/n: hi loves. this is crossposted from ao3 and i wanted to give her a home on here. enjoy!

-------------------------

It’s the oddest feeling, you think.

The realizing. That you are going to die. 

The realizing that no matter how hard you pushed, no matter how hard you fought, no matter how much it took of you to survive everyday, it would never come to fruition.

That you, too, would die. Alone, cold, in this hole under the ground of Mitras. Safe indeed within the walls, but not safe enough. 

When you were young, you dreamed of being a bird. A small, quick little thing that breezed through the air without so much as a thought. You would glide on the wind and feel it tickle under your feathers. You would fly right past those stairs that lead above ground, and nobody would even give you a second glance. Because if you were simply a bird, nobody would try to stop your flight. 

You would feel the sun. You would bask in that. 

You would move. You would fly. You wouldn’t sit here, waiting to rot, waiting to become a corpse in the street. You would break the legacy of dying here, waiting for hope to come. 

Suddenly, your eyes are heavy. When did that happen? Hmm , you think idly. It’s finally come.

You’re waiting now.

Until you’re not.

The world is all bright colors and harsh lights as someone shakes you with a “wake up! Move. You have to move.” It’s jarring, to be sure. This is the first movement you’ve felt in…hours? Days? It’s hard to say now. Everything is so bright. You blearily take in the person who shook you awake. Dark hair, slate grey eyes, and he’s glaring at you, scrutinizing you ever so slightly. His hands are on your shoulders. He gently shakes your shoulders again. 

“Get up now. If you stay here like this, you’re gonna die. You have to move.” 

There’s another boy with him, blonde hair and slight figure. He nods to the dark haired boy in front of you, and he helps you, slowly, rise from the ground. It’s dizzying, tiring, and you feel the need to pass out. But he’s shaking you again, and your shoulder is supported by his small frame.

One step. Two steps.

You’re awake again. And you’re walking. He huffs quietly next to you, and you’re going with him, they’re taking you with them, him and the blonde man. 

You don’t necessarily understand it, not then, maybe in time. But it feels like a second chance to fly. 

------------------

You’re going to die in the street.

You’re going to die here. Alone. And scared. And hungry. 

Levi never came. He never came to save you. You laid there, in the wide open, and he never came. You stayed there, like so many others before you, and you never got a second chance. There is no flight. There is no escape.

And because you never got saved, there is no going home to the small house the four of you share. No Isabel, Furlan, or Levi. There are no rowdy nights around the dinner table, the four of you, Isabel laughing so hard that her drink comes out her nose. There are no more early morning discussions with Furlan that come so easily as you talk about the future. Your fears and what you want with your life. Your hopes and aspirations that there could be so much more than ODM flying through the city for thug jobs. 

And there’s no more Levi. Levi, who has always been so oddly protective over you since the first day that you met. Levi, who has always had an eye out for you. Levi, who always seemed cold, cunning, and methodical, until you broke him down to his very basics. Levi, who had to grow up too fast for his own good. Levi, who never believed he could have anything good because it would always be taken away from him. 

Levi, the only person you ever knew in this life that you loved.

Levi, the one who loved you back. Who gave you your first kiss, first everything, shared a bed with you and held you in the night. Levi, who always made sure you were safe, who let his guard down to let himself be soft with you. Levi, who cradled you when you cried. The singular person the universe gave you to cope in a world that was so beyond cruel.

There was none of that. And with the lack of that, there was no escaping the Underground, the four of you. 

Because he never came for you, you don’t ever see Isabel’s glee when she finally sees the sun beyond the walls as a scout. You never see Furlan underneath the stars convincing Levi to let them all go on this expedition with him.

But then, yet again, you never have to see Isabel crushed between two titans. You don’t ever see Furlan eaten. You don’t ever see these things, because you don’t know these people, he never saved you, he never came-

You sit upright in bed as arms grab you by the shoulders, shaking you awake. You struggle to put breath in your lungs as you shake. A bad dream, all just a nightmare. You are here. You are okay. You ground yourself as you recognize the small room you lay in, a provision from Levi’s new title of Captain.

Your breathing slows into ease once again as you feel the weight of aforementioned captain’s arms on your shoulders and he squeezes, just like that day years ago. When he did save you. There is no exhaustion in his voice when he asks you what’s wrong. 

He’s been awake. He’s been awake this whole time.

Tears are quick to well in your eyes as you explain, speech coming out erratically as you describe the frantic fear you felt, scared of this dream world where he never came when he did. Something in his eyes, those slate grey eyes that most would usually akin to daggers, softened. There’s a kiss to your temple, a hand cradling your cheek, and a whisper. 

“I’m here, you know. Right here. It was only a nightmare. And I’m not going anywhere.” It’s slow, but the Captain of the Scout Regiment of all people did not always have a way with soft words. He’s always been more than that, though. Quiet Levi. Quiet Levi who often couldn’t find the words. You huff at this, heart still beating fast, but the previous anxiety seems to all but flood out of you. You are the only one who sees him like this, soft eyes and heart on his sleeve.

“You better not be. Who else would I annoy everyday? You’re all I got.” You smirk, and he feigns annoyance with a huff at this, but the glint of laughter in his eyes gives him away. 

He hums an agreement and brushes a hair behind your ear, and adds “I’ll hold you. If you want to try and sleep again. I’m not going anywhere.” And you know if anything could keep you safe, if anyone could make you feel safe, it's him. When it's you and him, nothing will ever come near you. 

When you wake the next morning, he is passed out beside you, a rare sight indeed. His arms, though, stay steadfast around your waist. 

You’re safe. 

--------------------

Levi hasn’t always known you to be the most deft on your feet.

One of his favorite memories of your time together in the Underground before being brought to the Survey Corps was your attempts at using ODM gear. If it took Isabel a while to get it, it took you even longer. You ended up either hanging upside or flat on your ass more times than he could really count. Smiles tended to be a rare thing from him, but seeing you twisted up in your gear like an idiot always earned you a huff or two. After that, though, he adamantly refused you’re using the ODM gear unless he could be with you to  supervise and ensure your safety. 

But this time, he’s not laughing.

It’s a simple training course. But you’re just not getting the hang of it. He sees it in slow motion, and it almost makes his heart stop. 

The green of the forest whirls around you both as you swiftly zip through the trees. You’re in front of him, just barely. He’s giving chase, and cadets beneath you are doing standard training exercises, moving wooden titan decoys in and out of your way. He sees it before you do, and he’s yelling at you to watch out. You hear him, but only a minute too late. You fumble to swing at the nape, as your foot catches the shoulder of the decoy. 

You’re merely inches off, but you miss.

You miss the nape. 

Your foot catching on the titan decoy sends you spiraling to the ground and you have no time to break the fall before you hit the ground, your head hitting the ground with a smack. 

His heart stops at the sound, and the training exercise is forgotten as he drops to the forest floor, rolling to take you into his arms. There’s a gash on your head from where it made contact with the ground, and your breathing is shallow. His heart lurches, but his mind is quicker, and he almost turns around to call for help when another voice does it for him. 

“Someone help! We have a cadet down!” Levi whips around, and his eyes widen as a brown haired person with glasses calls out for help, other cadets moving around them. Hange, if he remembers correctly, goes to move and grab you. Levi instinctively tightens his grip, and Hange moves back only slightly.

“She’s not the first to drop like that in a training exercise,” They say easily, trying to provide some comfort. “I don’t know where you guys came from, but she’s safe here. We just need to go patch up that gash on her head. She’ll be alright.” They say that last part softly, moving slowly to grab you from Levi, who loosens his grip on you. You slip from his arms into theirs and they're off, down the small path carved into the forest floor back towards their base.

He can only watch as they take you, moving with a couple other cadets to run you to the infirmary. 

It’s been hours, he thinks, as he paces outside the infirmary doors. The sound of his footsteps, tapping on the floor as he walks wall to wall, allows him a cadence to his thoughts. He hasn’t felt this kind of fear since Isabel and Furlan. The sheer panic he felt watching you fall to the ground so perfectly mirrored that same panic he felt watching Isabel crushed, and Furlan dropped into a titan’s jaws. That same helpless panic. It’s been hours now. And you’re still not awake.

He is not one to easily become scared. He knows this. With every loss he’s acquired, it adds a new brick to his wall, a wall he’s built so high so as to not let himself be hurt. So that nobody could get close enough. He doesn’t scare easily because his wall has become so high, so guarded. 

But you managed to get through that. 

You managed to get through it, and now every time he sees you smile, hears you laugh, feels your arms around his shoulders, it steels him to be strong. He promised you a long time ago, when you were both young and naive, that he would give you as much of the world as he could. He would try to show you as much of it as he could, that he would be your wings. He promised that as long as he was living, he would protect you. Not only that, he would give you a future together, at the end of all of this madness, if you wanted it. He wanted to spend his life with you. He promised if you wanted that, he would give it to you. 

He wants so badly to fulfill that promise. He wants so badly to give you that life, because he’s known you for years and yet every time he sees you, his heart skips a beat. Every morning he gets to wake up next to you, he knows he is home. He can’t lose you to a simple training accident. 

He can’t lose you because you stumbled and missed. Something that was so you in its nature. One mistake can’t be what does you in. 

The door of the infirmary squeaks open, and it breaks Levi from his reverie. Hange leans out, smiling. 

“Loverboy! She’s awake!”

------------------------

“Hey, sleepyhead. Wake up.” 

The sound of his voice rouses you awake. It really could never get old to you. You’ve always been the one to oversleep, exhaustion coming easily to you, causing him to be the one to wake you most of the time. He was quite the insomniac, after all.

This morning was a little different. A kiss to your hairline roused you into wakefulness, and he sheepishly requested you to clear any plans you may have had, apologizing that he didn’t warn you earlier. A surprise, he claimed it was under the guise of. Luckily, today was an off day from training, and you had no plans other than a nice day of staying in your room and finishing some reading. Thus, the two of you set off on horseback, Levi telling you to close your eyes on the way there.

This wasn’t too hard for you. The rhythmic pace of the horse and the sun warming your skin ever so slightly were a deadly mixture, and it didn’t take you too long to be completely consumed by sleep. Eventually, he awakens you (quite rudely with the name calling, you think), and you open your eyes. 

And then open them wider; for what a sight there is before you.

Soft green grass spanning so far the wall ahead of you is almost a blur. The sky is blue, so blue, and clouds sparsely dot the sky. But even better (and you think you see Levi smile at this, just flittingly), birds, as far as the eye can see. Wings out, leisurely gliding wherever the wind took them. Your smile is enormous. You have loved birds ever since being a child in the Underground. You so badly wanted to fly like them. When Isabel had first joined your little group, you remember, you had bonded over the sentiment. The want, the need, to fly.

“How did you find this?” You turned around, the wonder prominent in your voice.

His eyes widen ever so slightly, taking you in, then soften. Beautiful, like this, he thinks. But he shrugs nonchalantly. “Had to ride through here on an expedition a couple weeks ago. There were lots of birds that day too. I just…figured you would enjoy it.”

You grab his hand, and move to sit the two of you down on the grass. He hesitates briefly (“the grass is gonna stain my pants, you idiot”), but eventually assents and moves to let you lay your head on his chest. “You’ve gone soft,” you murmur, and he squeezes your hand. This is a way only the two of you can be. Laying in the grass on a bright and beautiful day, watching the birds fly overhead. His hand in yours, legs intertwined, his lips to your temple, forehead, jaw. Feather-light kisses, the tickle making you laugh. The sunlight on his skin, you think, makes him look so beautiful. 

You wish you could stay that way, forever, the two of you. Live in these small moments, however fleeting they are. Your eyelids are heavy as he shifts and carries you back to the horse, placing you in front of him to sleep on the way home. Once in place, he places a chaste kiss to your head.

He speaks honeyed words whispered in your ear, reserved only for you. You sleep peacefully the entirety of the ride home.

----------------------

Soft rain hits the window gently, a quiet metronome as you open your eyes. Your lids are heavy as you blink them. Once. Twice. Once again. The room is dark save for the almost unnatural gray glow streaming through the window, the dawn giving way to stormy morning skies. You grumble quietly.

Not great weather for an expedition day, huh?

The sheets are still warm, heat trapped in by the sturdy arms wrapped tightly around your waist. That, at least, gives you a semblance of peace. The morning feels…odd. You can’t quite place your finger on it. Perhaps, it’s the weather. Perhaps a gut feeling. You’re shaken by your reverie from a shift and a groan as the figure beside you starts to wake. 

The rain continues its onslaught, picking up only slightly as he leans his head into your shoulder.

You feel his breath in the crook of your neck as he whispers “be safe today, please.”

The very nature of it, this morning, at least, takes you aback. It feels like a plea from him, tumbling from his lips. It feels wrong, misplaced. Humanity’s Strongest begging something of you. 

Perhaps he could see it in you as he blinks his eyes into wakefulness. See through you, like he normally does. Perhaps he can sense the fear you have, radiating through the sheets you two currently share. Something feels different today. You’re taking your room in, this feeling in, this morning moment in, like it’s a snapshot. Trying to commit it all to memory. 

It was an abnormal assignment, you think, to be placed right flank as a scout. You were far more used to being placed closer to the center of the formation. It’s not as if you’ve never done this before. 

It feels different today. The very air you breathe feels heavy.

“You know me well enough by now, Levi. I will be alright. You worry too much.” You feel him scrunch his nose slightly at this, the grip from behind you tightening. “I know you better than you know yourself by now,” he retorts, brows tightening a bit. You laugh lightly at this. 

“That you do,” you quip back easily, flipping around to kiss between his brow. He tries to swat you away, feigning annoyance at not being fully awake enough yet, but he doesn’t fight back.

“You have to be vigilant of your surroundings,” he mutters, “Promise me? Look at me and promise me. You rely on the people around you, don’t take on anything alone if you don’t have to. Just, be safe . Please.”

This feels wrong.

The pleas. This feels wrong.

You muster up a smile, trying to look convincing. “I’m not stupid. I’ll be aware of my surroundings. It’ll be fine.” You try to be convincing. To him and you. He looks at you a second longer, scrutinizing. And then, with a light kiss to your temple, and then your jaw, he moves to ready himself for the day ahead.

Perhaps, you’re not convincing enough. You couldn’t convince yourself. And try as you might, you couldn’t shake the feeling. All you really wanted was to stay in bed, to stay warm, with him beside you and not a care in the world beyond the small room you shared.

Maybe you should have just stayed in bed, you thought.

Yeah. Maybe you should have just stayed in bed.

---------------------------

Maybe you should have just stayed in bed, he thinks.

It’s all coming back to him now. In this moment, desperate like he’s never been desperate before, it comes back to him.

The moment the report comes to him that almost the entirety of the right flank was wiped out, he is already moving. He doesn’t know exactly when he employed his ODM gear,  but he’s soaring through the sky now, and his eyes are scanning the ground, scanning the trees, every possible surface he could find. 

You couldn’t be too far off, right? You were in the inner right flank, at that, shouldn’t he have heard something? Seen a signal flare? Anything?

He lands, and the ground is more red than it is green. His eyes narrow, and he breaths a shaky breath.

He isn’t one to believe in a higher power. He isn’t a religious man. But in this moment, he asks the universe to please, just be kind to him. Just this once. 

And the universe laughs.

Because there you are. He almost slides to you, the ground being so slick with blood and earlier rainfall. His pants are stained. He briefly thinks to himself in this haze he’s in if those stains will ever come out. He’s pulled your head into his lap and you blink and manage to smile. It's a miracle you're still alive, but you thank whatever higher power may be that the last thing you get to see is his face. Those beautiful grey eyes, reflecting the skies above you. You think if the day were nicer, maybe you would see birds in the sky. You know now, all these years later, you finally got your shot to fly. Levi. He’s still saved you, every day. 

“I fought..like an idiot. I missed.” You sigh out. You see Levi swallow hard. A stupid mistake and this is the cost. Just like that time in training, when he was so scared he might lose you. It’s not just a gash on your head this time, though. The ground contains more of your blood now than your own body. You cough, red flecks coating Levi’s face, and his eyes are wide. He knows, and you know. There isn’t much time now. 

“I’ve loved you since that first day. Since that day you saved my life.” He makes a choked sound at this. He holds back his pleas of asking you to just stop talking, that you'll be alright, that he'll get you help. His unspoken 'I can still save you' dies on his tongue as you continue. “And all I’ve wanted since that day was to give you my everything. I’m sorry…I’m sure I didn’t tell you enough.” You breath in, out, in. The sound is becoming more flighty by the minute. 

Maybe now. Maybe now you can actually fly. Like the birds you so desperately wanted to imitate in your youth. 

“Listen to me. Stop it. Stay.” He’s begging now. “I promised you so much more than this. I promised you…” His voice breaks, and he’s sobbing now. “Why didn’t you listen to me!” This morning, when he had told you to not act like an idiot, to be safe. You had laughed him off, told him it would be alright. Now you’re bleeding out in his arms, the sound of your breathing turning into nothing more than raspy wheezing.

In. Out. In. Out. Nothing.

The rise and fall of your chest ceases.

And the world stops, just for a moment. 

And suddenly you’re out of his lap, and he’s desperately, frantically trying to put your heartbeat back in your chest, where it belongs. With every compression, he’s pleading with the universe to give you back, and he’s pleading with you to just wake up. He knows it’s foolish. He knows that you’re gone now, he watched the light fade from your eyes. The only thing that comes is a steady stream of blood out of your mouth with every compression. This, this is torture, he realizes. This world is cruel, and it offered him a solitary gift, let him fall in love, and then consequentially stole it from him. 

So he screams. He screams until his throat is hoarse, and he can’t scream anymore. His vision is blurry, and he realizes its tears. All he can do is helplessly cry as he cradles you, cold, in his arms. Cry for the one person he vowed he would keep safe, unmoving in his lap. He was tired; tired of the losing, friends and comrades. You were the light, all he had left to keep him moving forward.

When he returns home, the bed will be cold, cold like the unnatural temperature of your skin as he held you one final time. It comes to him that he wishes he could wake up now. He wishes this was all a bad dream. 

But it’s not.

There’s no waking up this time. 

You should have just stayed in bed.