Limerick - Tumblr Posts - Page 3
Who knew Passover would get me back to writing limericks?
A Hebrew from Egypt named "Mo" -
While he and his wife had a go
She'd not let him finish.
When his strength diminished
Begged "Tzippy, let my people go!"
For ieatedthepurpleone who is a talented limericist (and is hard to write for)
Yo dawg, I heard you liked to lark
Out by the swings after dark.
We put monkey bars
In the back of your car
So now you can park while you park!
~
The other pimped out option was this:
(source)
A classic, in limerick.
A string walked into a bar,
But didn’t get very far,
The Bartender, with a shout,
Said “We don’t serve strings, get out!”
So the String left and was hit by a car
The String was unraveled, but hurt not.
With an idea, it tied itself on the spot.
When it went back inside
The Bartender tried to chide,
String said “A string, Sir? No, I’m a frayed knot”
Thank you for the call-out at last I'd feared my limerick skills had all passed, But, in evidence, not; All of them I've still got Our talents are rangy and vast.
Innovation
A musician thought it’d be slick,
To play a Theremin using his dick.
When he played for a crowd
The ovations were loud,
He’s now proud of his talented prick.
Lament of the wannabe artist
You know, using charcoal a lot Might seem like it's cool, but it's not; Black soot everywhere On clothes, face and hair, And causes peculiar black snot.
You may have gotten this question before, but do you know the rest of the nantucket story?
No, I have not gotten this question before; thank you for finally asking!
To answer said question: yes, I know both the dirty and the clean versions. Oddly enough, I actually learned the dirty version long before I even knew there was a clean one. When I was younger, my Mom used to recite it to me, as it had been recited to her by her father when she was a little girl:
(NB: the “****”s are pronounced as muffled noises)
There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose **** was so long he could **** it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a **** I could **** it!"
Having a terrible sense of humor is a proud family tradition which we take very seriously.
To be honest, I just really wanted to write limerick that rhymed the name Amelia
I courted a girl named Amelia
Who liked tv memorabilia.
"Keep both hands" she had warned
"Off my Jeff Dunham hoard!
'Cause if you break something 'I'll keel ya'!"
The SciShow comment section is the best.
Totally True Tales of Etymology: "Where the sun don't shine", an Origin Story
A friend who was sun-bathing nude
Had thought I kept clothed 'cause I'm prude.
He knew not that I meant
I stayed clothed to prevent
The awkward sunburn which ensued.
~
(Thanks to pretentiouslimericks for the prompt)
ONCE MORE WITH FEELINGS: A LIMERICK MUSICAL
Read More
For pretentiouslimericks, who provided me with the prompt
My lover, so gentle and tender, And I had a night of such splendor It could never be topped, So it had to be stopped; And I fondly ran him through the blender.
~
So, I've become a bit addicted to Welcome To Night Vale. I came across this little blurb while searching through fanart, and it provided inspiration for my little poem.
Being stuck on a desert island is frequently romanticized in popular popular culture in the current bureaucratic age
John read the reply in the bottle; The writer he'd wanted to throttle. "Your rescue request Will soon be addressed Please fill out these forms and re-bottle."
So, lately, I've been in a slump. I feel like a bit of a chump 'Cause a blog name like mine Suggests, most of the time, I post verse about people who hump.
Also, signal boost
Limerick contest reminder
I watch for new limericks each day, But alas, no one wants to play. Please take a little time To compose a short rhyme, And a prize might be headed your way.
Here is the original contest post thing
Like last year, I am going to host a limerick contest for the month of November. There will be as-yet-to-be-determined prizes for the winners. Here are the rules:
1. Your entry should follow the traditional limerick form.
2. Your entry can include innuendo, but should not have any outright...
My blog makes no promise of rhyme
And I find myself most short on time
But a contest for ditties
Demonstrably witty
— well, to not reblog would be a crime!
I watch for new limericks each day, But alas, no one wants to play. Please take a little time To compose a short rhyme, And a prize might be headed your way.
Over at The Guardian, scientists have submitted a whole bunch of delightfully awful science jokes. Use them at your next party to impress/drive people away!
A couple of my favorites:
What is a physicist’s favourite food?
Fission chips.
and
There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
There once was a ripple in space That grew at incredible pace Now close observation Reveals this inflation Has left an indelible trace.
Limerick poet Mick Twister rhymes yesterday’s news that physicists had observed gravitational waves, strong proof that cosmic inflation occurred in the earliest moments of our universe. (via jtotheizzoe)