Mcu Marvel Avengers - Tumblr Posts
I mean... spiders are cannibalistic
Steve: sooo, what do you do for a living?
Tony: Rogers, he is a kid, he doesn’t need-
Peter: i kill spiders
Clint: lol no you don't
Tony: kid, no, you don’t
Peter: have you ever seen one in the Tower?
Clint: well no..
Peter: then you’re welcome *sniffs and then sharply rises from his place, looks around and with closed eyes in the pose of a spider makes his way to the exit* sorry, duty calls. I smell spider in Rogers’ room.
Clint:
Clint: is he serious
Tony:
Tony: I can’t tell
How did an assassin miss a entire knife in his back?!
Tony: kid, you alright?
Peter: yeah, why are you asking? I’m right here with you playing minecraft.
Clint: yeah, Tony, stop being mother Hen.
Tony: fuck off, I feel like something is wrong. Look me in the eyes.
Peter: what? no?
Tony: Peter!
Peter: ahjak okay!
Tony, one second after looking at his kid: Friday, call Bruce, we’re heading towards Medbay!!
Client: you gotta be kidding? he’s completely fine!
Tony: ehh no, he has the “I was stabbed” look in his eyes.
Clint: no he’s not. that’s not a real thing.
Peter, bewildered: yeah, that’s not a real thi—
Friday: it appears to me that Mr. Parker-Stark jr. is losing his blood in exponential levels and he has some sharp object in his back.
Peter: the knife isn’t that sharp
Tony: PETER
Peter: Tony, this is my aunt. May, this's my da-my Tony.
May:
Peter: -oh my god, no, May, it’s-
Tony: pleasure to meet you, I am his Tony aka his dad. Well, not officially but give me two minutes, one call and I will make it official.
Being around Tony stark can take a toll on you, some have to toughen up their skin to endure Tonys remarks, some just drift away from him, not wanting to deal with it.
But Peter?
No he's adapted.
Every snarky remark, and name Peter would be told, he just came back even stronger
"did you seriously forget to do your homework? Again? Don't you have enhanced..everything?"
"Mr stark, If we wanna talk irresponsible, let's talk about the time it seemingly crossed your mind to tell your loved ones you were dying because of the shrapnel in your chest." Peter snarked back
Tony stood frozen, his jaw dropped.
"well..fuck." Tony mumbled trying to contain l laughter at how sudden Peter came up with something like that.
Or another time.
"Peter, let me get you some new shoes." Tony pleaded
Peter sucked on his lollipop and squinted at Tony
"what? No why." Peter asked seemingly shocked
"because they're ratty. And old. And they look like they're gonna fall off or disintegrate at any given time." Tony answered crossing his arms
"why do you even keep them around?" The older one asked completely confused
"your ratty, old and likely to be on your death bed in a few years, why do we keep you around?" Peter snarked back raising an eyebrow.
Rhodey who was just passing through to grab some coffee was howling with laughter doubling over to clutch his stomach.
Sometimes it's not even directed at Tony.
"how do we even know we can trust the kid, he's unreliable" Sams eyes narrowed his voice harsh, but Steve nodded anyways
"I agree with Sam, recruiting a child would be very irresponsible."
Peter who was swinging on his chair, now paying attention in the meeting with the avengers turns to Steve and sam
"oh lord.." Tony muttered as rhodey tried to hide the smug, fond look on his face
"dude, you are 2 times my age, stop complaining and just admit that being an old man is getting to you, plus I can hear your knees snap like glow sticks when you crouch down. it's gross. Also who in this room has 1. A weird bird suit, and 2. Doesn't." Peter finished crossing his arms mirroring Tony. Alot.
"did I just get insulted by a toddler." Sam muttered
Peter is a sassy kid.
Peter is Tony's sassy kid.
avengers team arguments must be so funny bcs like there's limitless ammo like . tony drunk fought his best friend at a party. steve did highschool psas. bruce hates the stairs. thor only drank alcohol for a solid few months. he also got bodied by a giant dog. loki got bodied by shrek on steroids. peter's girlfriend's dad was a supervillain who tried to kill him like 5 times. rhodey fought his drunk best friend at a party. nat. idk i don't think nat has ever done anything embarrassing. t'challa runs around in a cat costume. sam and bucky got beat by a 14 year old.
this got really long but like moral of the story. if the team starts arguing it goes to hell because almost all of them have done weird shit and it's friendly fire extrordinare
Tony:
Peter:
Tony: I just don’t know how you thought-
Peter: Mr Stark please let’s not talk about it anymore
Harley: What happened?
Tony: He asked the dentist if he should take his mask off or leave it on