Mother & Daughter - Tumblr Posts
Tsuu T'ina mother and daughter. Ca.1900. Alberta, Canada.
Last week at the fantastic film club I attend I got to choose a film that is very dear to my heart: Everything Everywhere All At Once.
I LOVE this film. When I saw it in 2022, with only the vague buzz of bemused critical acclaim & an image of Michelle Yeoh with a googly eye firmly implanted in the middle of her forehead to go on, it came at a time when my love for physically visiting the cinema had waned. Tickets were ever pricier, satisfaction levels harder to predict, my enthusiasm for taking that risk had levelled off despite my lifelong love of the full cinematic experience. EEAAO was, unequivocally, the movie that made me truly love cinema again. I saw it twice more, inspired in the process to found the Movie Club I now co-run in work!
I love it all, even certain gross/absurdist moments (well, except for one!) that would make me cringe elsewhere. I adore the choices, insane attention to detail, aesthetics, humour. The incredible & wildly imaginative visual effects, choreography, acting, settings, make-up & costumes - ohhh the costumes! 🥰 I was besotted with Jobu Tupaki's glorious array of outfits & the care that went into having them be thematically appropriate at any given moment. I love the sheer effort and attention that went into every single frame and how beautifully every sci-fi element was an apt yet simple metaphor for the intricacies and contradictions of real life.
It was sweet to see Ke Huy Quan make such a touching comeback; those moments between Waymond & Evelyn are so moving and his speech about choosing kindness adds layers of tears for me every time.
But, on a personal, bittersweet note, the thing I love most of all, is that at its heart this is a story of something that maybe isn't explored enough: the unique, often fraught, often unspeakably nuanced & difficult dynamic between mothers and daughters, and the legacy of that generational trauma. The way this film depicts that specific bond spoke to me profoundly, still stunning me now with its nuance and relatability.
I weep inconsolably every time and, imho, Stephanie Hsu should have absolutely run away with that Oscar win and I will proudly die on this hill 😊
I am always scared of not being the daughter my parents deserved to have.
-Amy Tan, The Joy Luck Club
a mother-daughter relation is something like 'i know you're hurting, i'm hurting too, i want to tell you i love you, i know i'm the one hurting you, i want to tell you i'm proud of you, you're hurting me too, i wish i could make you proud, i hate you, i wish we were kinder to each other, i know you hate me too, we are broken, we're the strongest people ever, i'm never going to be like you, i understand you, i know you love me too, i wish i could say all of this to you, i wish to run away and never see you again, i wish we would hug very tightly and sob together then maybe the pain and rage will go away, i know we won't ever admit all of this, i hope we'll be okay' "come, dinner's ready" "what is for dinner today?" "i tried making your favourite dish."
i hate it when she says “no,” like her word is final. but with every goodbye i give, she offers amends. have a good night, she ends, even after every fight.
money, the taboo topic no one dares to touch on, is nonexistent. yet, she works long hours, back breaking, head aching, so that her children can eat without worries. don’t worry about the money, she insists, i’ll take care of it.
thousands of miles apart, we used to fight like cats and dogs, and i still can’t swallow down my pride in front of her, insistent on winning. except when she calls me and tells me, encourages me, not to worry, guilt eats at me.
can i rewind the last few months? change my own mind?
this is love: complicated, emotional, unconditional. the love of a mother.
[buy me a kofi]
i hate it when she says “no,” like her word is final. but with every goodbye i give, she offers amends. have a good night, she ends, even after every fight.
money, the taboo topic no one dares to touch on, is nonexistent. yet, she works long hours, back breaking, head aching, so that her children can eat without worries. don’t worry about the money, she insists, i’ll take care of it.
thousands of miles apart, we used to fight like cats and dogs, and i still can’t swallow down my pride in front of her, insistent on winning. except when she calls me and tells me, encourages me, not to worry, guilt eats at me.
can i rewind the last few months? change my own mind?
this is love: complicated, emotional, unconditional. the love of a mother.
[buy me a kofi]
my mum just looked at me before going to work and said „gia you know you only have half an hour left before you need to go right“
me sipping my coffee reading tumblr posts „yeah mum i know i am not old i dont need that long“
the look she gave me 💀😭
nothing feels worse yet so comforting when you know and realize... you're just like your own mother. a flesh of her. a part of her soul that she put in yours, when she was giving birth to you. she was there, she was always there.
Big Mama and Olivier strolling in the Hidden City when they suddenly noticed something on Lou Jitsu mural.
Olivier: *gasp* For crying out loud, what they have done to Lou Jitsu mural!
Big Mama: “Fuck Big Mama,” oh yes, everyone does. *giggling*
Olivier: Um, mum? I don’t think that’s what you think it says.
Olivier whispers to Big Mama’s ear
Big Mama: *gasping dramatically* Those cheeky little weasels!? Who do they think they are!? Do they not know who I am!?
Big Mama: I would have them cut down for writing that outrageous thing towards Big Mama!
Olivier: Don’t worry mum, I’ll have my assistant take care of this in a jiffy.
Olivier gesturing her assistant.
Olivier: Before we have this cleaned off, would you fancy for a photo with it, that way it shows it didn’t gutted us.
Big Mama: *giggling joyfully* That be lovely, my little hellfire.
———
Both Big Mama and Olivier have a British accent, I did the best to use some phrases and terms. Let me know if I use some of them wrong.
The drawing was referenced from a Pinterest photo I found
I commissioned Lizzie to draw me Donnie and Olivier (Donivier) and here’s the final piece :)
The way they look at each other <3
———
This was the first commission she drew me of Olivier and her adoptive mother, Big Mama in December :)
From now onward, you’ll be known as Olivier Arcane, daughter of Big Mama.
I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it here but Olivier has a British accent. She used to have an American accent but lost it when she got adopted and being around Big Mama.
“These kappa are rather interesting, mother.”
More Olivier insert with her mom again ٩( 'ω' )و
