Poly! Bts X Reader - Tumblr Posts

So….. hey 👋🏽. Longtime fic reader and long time secret writer 😂.

I write but never post really 😂 honestly I feel like my writing is 🗑️ but I digress. But I can’t ever really find what I’m looking for (except for one writer who is phenomenal but she isn’t really writing anymore) so I decided to try my hand myself.

I decided to put it out there to see if there’s any interest. I’ll start posting snippets of what I have to test the waters 😅😅

Full disclosure…. I’m into almost everything so you never know what you might get. Mainly black coded older reader. Some MxM.

Some of my favorites are sub!yandere BTS, poly BTS x reader, supernatural, A/B/O…. I’m greedy, what can I say. Like Pokémon, gotta catch them all 🙌🏽😅

(No title yet)

Forwarning...I'm not that fancy, never blogged before so I have no idea how to make this look appealing...maybe one day between my million kids and million jobs I'll figure it out.

Here goes nothing.... please don't be tooo harsh lol.... y'all I feel like my writing is trash lol.....ugh... ok fuck it.... Yoongi didn't raise no bitch!

He recognized the yearning in her eyes. If he allowed himself, it was the same yearning for her reflected in his.   It was the last show, fuck it, he thought to himself, I’m going to enlist soon, I can have this one thing. Looking to where he’s seen her every show prior, she’s gone. 

Meanwhile she cries tears of anguish watching him for the last time from afar. 

Curious eyes look down on them both from above. Curious about the despair they see in her face and the lost look only they are able to distinguish within his eyes. Even more curious, when the guest comes out, she is inconsolable, leaning into her friend for support. During the show he seems to be looking for something in that particular spot but doesn’t find it. He checks all 4 corners and the lost look remains.  A quick question is posed to the guest as he arrives to sit with the onlookers and he declines but is captivated none the less by the beauty and pain he sees in her face, he recognizes that pain.  Deciding to put it off for now, the eyes above watch the show in pensive contemplation. 

The show was amazing! she tells her friend as they plan their next move for the night. They’re both numb due to all the emotions he left on the stage. She’s emotionally raw and physically drained but thankful she was there. Or at least that’s the mantra she keeps repeating over in her head as they exit the arena for the final time. 

That was phenomenal! A perfect ending to an amazing run! His family and friends tell him backstage. He isn’t sure what he’s feeling at this point yet, everything is too fresh, too new, his tears haven’t even dried yet. He regrets not finding her or trying sooner. He internally mourns what could have been and what may never be. 

Meanwhile her and her friend roam the streets of Seoul in search of something to soothe the tumultuous emotions raging in their souls. They fear the announcement they know is coming come morning, “HELLO THIS IS BIGHIT MUSIC…”.    Coincidentally they end up in a cafe surrounded with pictures and mementos of their idols, not the fried chicken that they’d set out for but not an unworthy substitution by any accounts. 

(Another untitled)

I'm trash, but my friend loves it. Not proofread, my bad...

“Love sometimes isn’t enough Hobi. I love you and you love me and we can love each other and not be together. I never want to hold you back or feel like I’m causing you to miss out on life or experiences.  Love doesn’t equal sexual attraction.  It’s ok, we…”

The look in his eyes silenced her mid-speech. 

He’s never looked at her that way. Slowly, she tried to back away to maybe try to give him space and time to let what she was saying sink in. Eventually he had to see that she was right. I mean, a girl can only masturbate so much. But the further away she got, the closer he came towards her.  

The thing with Hobi was when he was mad, you’d know it. He’d raise his voice a little, put some more bass in it. Let it be known. However, this was so far beyond mad, there wasn’t any space left in the room for any other emotion and the rage was so thick in the air she began to get lightheaded. 

Silence as he stalked closer, eyes never leaving hers. 

He didn’t have to raise his voice, the silence of the room was deafening. 

“Strip”.  He commanded in a voice so deep she felt it in her bones, causing her to shiver. 

Filled with indignation, totally disregarding the danger her instincts told her she was in, she tried to push past him as she told him she didn’t want a pity fuck. 

The words are caught in her throat as he wraps his long slender fingers around the column of her neck and squeezes in warning as he pushes her against the wall.   

He never raises his voice. In a harsh whisper he states “Instead of asking me like an adult, you assume you know my reasoning” he pulls a pocketknife out of one of the many pockets in his camo. “You then decide to try to end things with me” he pushes her further into the wall and puts the blade right up under her chin. She’s shaking at this point, realizing he did just finish his service and she has no idea the things he may have endured or suffered through. She tries to plead with him but he silences her with a squeeze to the throat. 

“You are mine. To fuck, to not fuck, to love, to spoil, to take care of…you are mine…”

Slowly he drags the blade from her throat to her shirt and down her chest ripping the fabric as he goes. 

“You wanted to see the man behind the mask, you wanted to know why I haven’t touched you yet, why I haven’t gorged myself on your cum, fucked you until all you know is how to scream my name…well you’re about to find out….color?”

Taken aback, the word green flies from her mouth before her brain could catch up and at that utterance, he kisses her so passionately he steals her breath. Then he glares, “strip before I cut off the rest”. 

Shaking she removes the leggings she was wearing and her favorite pair of boy shorts.   He picks her up underneath her thighs and walks her to the bed gently lying her down. If it wasn’t for the look in his eyes, she’d think they were about to make love. 

You write so damn well!! The emotions were so well described that I could almost feel them. And the smooth transition of soft Bangtan to a jerk Bangtan is well appreciated. I was clutching my pillow the whole time! Can't wait for the other chapter!!

sanctuary: six

summary: leaving your father was easy. leaving them? well…that’s a different kind of strength. 7.9k words.

genre: mafia au, fluff, major angst

pairing: ot7 x reader

warnings:  toxic and dysfunctional familial relationships, mentions of domestic abuse (physical and verbal), swearing, ptsd & trauma, poor mental health, mentions of anxiety & panic attacks, reader goes to therapy, hurt, argument/yelling, the boys are mean…

author’s note: i made you guys wait long enough hehe :) hope you like it, please let me know what you think! and please take notice of the warnings!! they are there for a reason <3

♡ series masterpost ♡

Your nightmares have gotten better…somewhat. Better in the sense that you don’t let them carry over as much to the next day. Better in the sense that now, there are seven smiling faces that greet you every morning to help the fear dissolve. But they still relent as strong as ever, and make you toss and turn every single night with no pity. 

They’ve gotten more frequent since that meeting with your father. More vivid. Some nights, your nightmares are so bad that you just end up migrating over to Taehyung’s room right next to you and sleeping on the edge of the bed (though you just end up wrapped around each other in the morning). Taehyung never bats an eye. Only opens the side of his thick duvet for you to crawl into and flicks on a lamp because he knows you don’t like the dark after a nightmare. 

Keep reading

War Of The Hearts: #8

✽Pairing - OT7 x reader (DJ) and OT7 x Lily

✽Word Count - 10.5k

✽Ratings - 18+

✽Genre(s) - Mafia Au, Angst , Fluff, mentions of smut.

✽Trigger Warnings - Mentions of Death, Mentions of Trauma , minor alcohol consumption, mentions of torture and shootouts and mentions of bloodshed, Mentions of Drugs, Attempted Murder, A little manipulative behavior, A shootout, a lot of cursing, There is a little bit of torture in here so please please avoid this if this triggers you in any way.

✽Summary - You’ve been lurking in the shadows, protecting the seven of Bangtan even if it means you must give your own life. After all, that’s what you do when you are in love with someone irrevocably. That pain seems to be minuscule in light of their safety. But it was never about you, for all you are is a speck of dust in the universe they have created for them and their girlfriend. Your heart’s at war, but it’s fine, you can smile through the pain as long as it means they smile- for her.

✽A/N : Its been a while since i updated isnt it? I know, But work has been crazy and a lot is happening at that front. But yes i ended up writing it while i was waiting for my flight. It may or may not be a little unedited, So please forgive me. But im still struggling with the writers block so, This update made me so happy that finally i wrote something. So we are near to the end, Two more parts to go and one more character entry. please do let me know what you think about it, Your comments and asks literally mean the world to me. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

✽Taglist: @brimal @2ne1unni @shatzkrinslinzki @zae007live, @gukieater @tinyoonsblog @skylievin @2ne1unni @lovelgirl22 @euphakid @embrace-themagic @didi-9310 @loisje123 @iamhereforbts @silscintilla @2ne1unni @rp171198 @aboredboredboreduniverse @blaaiissee @top-crop @sa7kou @chhungi-bawihtlung @aquariushoesss @definitelythinkimanalien

7mer @babycoffeefire @emoskytime8 @hob3yw0rld@motivatedprocastinator @speedyqueendaze @sugajinny @thereaderwholovesyou @btspurplesky @skz-jeha @theestrangeddreamer @success1009 @militrybarbi @afangirllikeme-blog @celestialentitiesss @daydreambrliever @bibebts @dreamamubarak @kimsaerom @sa7kou @veronawrites @bt21chim @cutiepat @jooniebub @shadowyjellyfishfest @mageprincess7 @jiminbolala @impossibilitydesign @xtayxx​ @ cherryluvhobi @knjsbae

✽Part Seven - Here

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽ ✽ ✽ ✽ 

The events that had taken place today had left you with a lot of questions, But more than you it seemed like the two men with you had the most questions. Hoseok and Tae seemed a little off after a while when the adrenaline had worn off.

Lily had been safely put in the backseat of Hoseok’s car and the two just stood a little distance away from the car, their bodies present physically at a distance. But mentally it looked like they were both inside with her. You observed the two men from far away. There were no words being spoken to each other, but they knew what the other wanted to say.

Keep reading

War Of The Hearts: #8

✽Pairing - OT7 x reader (DJ) and OT7 x Lily

✽Word Count - 10.5k

✽Ratings - 18+

✽Genre(s) - Mafia Au, Angst , Fluff, mentions of smut.

✽Trigger Warnings - Mentions of Death, Mentions of Trauma , minor alcohol consumption, mentions of torture and shootouts and mentions of bloodshed, Mentions of Drugs, Attempted Murder, A little manipulative behavior, A shootout, a lot of cursing, There is a little bit of torture in here so please please avoid this if this triggers you in any way.

✽Summary - You’ve been lurking in the shadows, protecting the seven of Bangtan even if it means you must give your own life. After all, that’s what you do when you are in love with someone irrevocably. That pain seems to be minuscule in light of their safety. But it was never about you, for all you are is a speck of dust in the universe they have created for them and their girlfriend. Your heart’s at war, but it’s fine, you can smile through the pain as long as it means they smile- for her.

✽A/N : Its been a while since i updated isnt it? I know, But work has been crazy and a lot is happening at that front. But yes i ended up writing it while i was waiting for my flight. It may or may not be a little unedited, So please forgive me. But im still struggling with the writers block so, This update made me so happy that finally i wrote something. So we are near to the end, Two more parts to go and one more character entry. please do let me know what you think about it, Your comments and asks literally mean the world to me. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist.

✽Taglist: @brimal @2ne1unni @shatzkrinslinzki @zae007live, @gukieater @tinyoonsblog @skylievin @2ne1unni @lovelgirl22 @euphakid @embrace-themagic @didi-9310 @loisje123 @iamhereforbts @silscintilla @2ne1unni @rp171198 @aboredboredboreduniverse @blaaiissee @top-crop @sa7kou @chhungi-bawihtlung @aquariushoesss @definitelythinkimanalien

7mer @babycoffeefire @emoskytime8 @hob3yw0rld@motivatedprocastinator @speedyqueendaze @sugajinny @thereaderwholovesyou @btspurplesky @skz-jeha @theestrangeddreamer @success1009 @militrybarbi @afangirllikeme-blog @celestialentitiesss @daydreambrliever @bibebts @dreamamubarak @kimsaerom @sa7kou @veronawrites @bt21chim @cutiepat @jooniebub @shadowyjellyfishfest @mageprincess7 @jiminbolala @impossibilitydesign @xtayxx​ @ cherryluvhobi @knjsbae

✽Part Seven - Here

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽ ✽ ✽ ✽ 

The events that had taken place today had left you with a lot of questions, But more than you it seemed like the two men with you had the most questions. Hoseok and Tae seemed a little off after a while when the adrenaline had worn off.

Lily had been safely put in the backseat of Hoseok’s car and the two just stood a little distance away from the car, their bodies present physically at a distance. But mentally it looked like they were both inside with her. You observed the two men from far away. There were no words being spoken to each other, but they knew what the other wanted to say.

Keep reading

War Of The Hearts: #9

✽Pairing - OT7 x reader (DJ) and OT7 x Lily

✽Word Count - 7.8k

✽Ratings - 18+

✽Genre(s) - Mafia Au, Angst , Fluff, mentions of smut.

✽Trigger Warnings - Mentions of Death, Mentions of Trauma , minor alcohol consumption, mentions of torture and shootouts and mentions of bloodshed, Mentions of Drugs, Attempted Murder, A little manipulative behavior, A shootout, a lot of cursing, There is a little bit of torture in here so please please avoid this if this triggers you in any way.

✽Summary - You’ve been lurking in the shadows, protecting the seven of Bangtan even if it means you must give your own life. After all, that’s what you do when you are in love with someone irrevocably. That pain seems to be minuscule in light of their safety. But it was never about you, for all you are is a speck of dust in the universe they have created for them and their girlfriend. Your heart’s at war, but it’s fine, you can smile through the pain as long as it means they smile- for her.

✽A/N : Hello Everyone! I apologise I couldn't post the last time due to some circumstances and I literally couldn't find any time to get on Tumblr after the post. The 9th part is here now, And I hope you guys like it, And also my apologies if you find the writing a little over the place, Ive been in a slump with writing since a year and this is my honest attempt to get out of it. I would love it if you let me know what you think about it.

✽Taglist: @brimal @2ne1unni @shatzkrinslinzki @zae007live, @gukieater @tinyoonsblog @skylievin @2ne1unni @lovelgirl22 @euphakid @embrace-themagic @didi-9310 @loisje123 @iamhereforbts @silscintilla @2ne1unni @rp171198 @aboredboredboreduniverse @blaaiissee @top-crop @sa7kou @chhungi-bawihtlung @aquariushoesss @definitelythinkimanalien

7mer @babycoffeefire @emoskytime8 @hob3yw0rld@motivatedprocastinator @speedyqueendaze @sugajinny @thereaderwholovesyou @btspurplesky @skz-jeha @theestrangeddreamer @success1009 @militrybarbi @afangirllikeme-blog @celestialentitiesss @daydreambrliever @bibebts @dreamamubarak @kimsaerom @sa7kou @veronawrites @bt21chim @cutiepat @jooniebub @shadowyjellyfishfest @mageprincess7 @jiminbolala @impossibilitydesign @xtayxx​ @ cherryluvhobi @knjsbae @intoomanyfandoms15 @foreverddaeng

✽Part Eight - Here

✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽✽

You chuckled at hearing a gasp from the Bratva’s side, Your request was very unusual for him. You knew that. You were sure he wouldn't be able to fathom why exactly you wanted Zakharov to visit you in Korea.         

“Bratva, we will speak when you get here. Right now all I am requesting is your presence here. Rest assured, This is going to be one hell of a trip.” Bratva obliged your request right away without questioning further. You looked at the men standing in the room looking at you with an expression that spelled curiosity all over their faces.

“They have agreed to come, Bratva will let me know sometime tomorrow when exactly they can come.” 

“You're in for a treat.” Borris looks at Jimin helplessly when he hears Jimin mock him. You shrug your shoulders when Borris looks at you expecting him to help him. He should have thought of that before they plotted against you and the Bangtan men. These were nothing but consequences of their actions.

If they didn't feel bad before using and treating you as a scapegoat, Then why the hell should you?

“What do we do now?” You take a moment to answer Taehyung’s question. How were you supposed to go from here? 

“Let's move him to my house, Mikhail will be taken care of by my men.” Nobody speaks up against your decision, Except for Borris. Who of course has a lot of comments to make. You ignore the pleas of the man and ask your men to take him to your house. You needed to keep a strict eye on the man lest there should be any other unexpected events. Should there be one?

It takes a little while after a screaming Borris is escorted out of the room, You take a minute to calm down. The way Borris kept screaming gave you a headache and you really didn't want to hear the voice of that man for some time. You needed some silence.

You sit in the room with the other men who seemed too quiet, Nobody spoke anything. They were all just sitting there. Some look at their hands entwined in their laps, The others look at the furniture in the room as if it were in some museum. These feelings sometimes were so difficult to express, That you had no idea what to do about it. You all had been played, and manipulated by Lily. And right now neither you nor the boys knew where you would go from here. “It's getting late, We should leave.” Everyone looked at Namjoon with somewhat of an expression of relief, The awkward atmosphere was getting too much to bear.

“I don't want to be anywhere near Lily right now.” Everyone seemed to agree with Yoongi. You looked at the seven men with a puzzled expression. Lily did not know they knew, And you did not have the slightest clue yourself of how the boys were going to face her, Let alone you.

“I think me and Namjoon will go to our house with Lily, The rest of you stay with DJ at her place.” Namjoon gave Jin a questioning look but did not speak. The older male seemed to gesture at something which did not make him question anything anymore.

“Boss, do you want us to come with you?”

“No, I guess let's call it a day. You guys have had enough for today as well.” The two men nodded and left first. You bid farewell to the two men who left for their house. You could feel the tension thick in the air but there was very little that you could do about it. You had no words to express the pain that you yourself felt when you saw the pain on the seven men's faces. They were feeling so many things at the same time, Yet there was barely anything that these men could do about it.

“Namjoon..” You pulled Namjoon into a hug when he looked back the moment you called him. His hands tightened around your waist and you just wished he could feel what you wanted to convey.

“It will be alright.” You feel his head nodding in a yes, You take a deep breath inhaling his scent, Which provides a sense of comfort. You let him go after a second, He gave you a weak smile and proceeded towards his car. You followed the five men to your respective cars to leave for your house.

The house seemed dead silent when both Jin and Namjoon walked in, The men wordlessly walked towards Lily’s room. She was still sleeping peacefully and totally unaware of her surroundings.

Jin took a seat near her and switched on the lights on the light side. The dimly lit room hid their tears very well. The soft light illuminated only the face of the woman they had come to love all these years, They couldn't have thought in their wildest dreams of the dark secret the woman was hiding.

Namjoon stroked Lily’s head softly, His fingers caressing her forehead in a way where a little force could break her. He let out a sigh and looked at Jin who had an equally gloomy expression on his face. The two men spent a good minute just looking at Lily, who looked like she was having the best sleep after a hard working day.

“You remember the first day we met her? She looked like she was seconds away from ripping your hair out?” Namjoon chuckled at that fond memory. For the first time ever in his life, he had someone walk up to him and yell at him. With every word she spoke, Namjoon kept controlling his laughter which ultimately came off the minute she took a pause. She still remembered the bewildered expression that came over Lily’s face when she saw them laughing his head off. The smile that came on her face after snatching his breath instantly threw him out of the laughing fit. The way her eyes crinkled when she laughed too was enough to have him swooning.

“I remember it clearly just like it happened yesterday. That smile was lethal.” Jin let out a small laugh at Namjoon’s mention, His first memory of Lily resembling something of Namjoon. He still remembered the way he had dragged Namjoon to see who she was. 

“Who knew she was hiding so many things.” 

“Never knew she could do something like this to us.” Namjoon withdraws his hands and stands up making his way to the window, The dark night looks better than the darkness inside him. His brain wanted to kill the woman who had used him and was probably very close to betraying him. But his heart kept refuting everything he had heard. Namjoon let out a frustrated scream and punched his hand on the window hard, shattering the glass into pieces.

“Are you fucking out of your mind? Show me.” Jin looked at the younger’s hand in pure despair, The shards of glass sticking to his knuckles made him bleed profusely.

“I will kill you if you do that shit again, il back in a second.” Jin rushed out of the bedroom to bring the first aid kit while Namjoon dejectedly took a seat on the chair placed right in front of Lily.

Jin froze in his steps and Namjoon suddenly stopped him with his hand. He got up and knelt down in front of Lily who was letting out small groans. She was waking up. Jin pulled Namjoon back and made him sit.

“I don't care if she is waking up, Sit down. Let's have a look at this first.” Jin’s stern expression got Namjoon sitting down like a small kid who was threatened with being grounded. Jin let small curses when Namjoon winced in pain and right at that moment he was thankful that he had the rest of them by his side. At Least they weren't going anywhere. They would always be by his side.

“DJ….” Jin paused his administration on Namjoon’s hand the second he heard your name, Really? She had the audacity to set you up and then utter your name like you were in some kind of distress. Namjoon tried getting up but Jin’s strong grip on his thighs didn't allow him to do so. 

“Funny isn't it, How she is the one who was setting up DJ, and hers is the first name she took when she's waking up.” Jin's grip didn't allow Namjoon to budge. The man could be as stubborn as a mule and nobody could do anything about it. 

“I wonder what she remembers.” Namjoon quickly shushed him, pointing a finger at the woman. Jin and Namjoon concentrated on the woman's movements which kept getting more restless and your name which kept coming out of her mouth like a mantra. Her movements signaled the men that she would be waking up any minute.

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“Namjoon.--

“Don't wake up, Just lay back down.” Namjoon placed her head back on the pillow, While Jin ran to fetch a glass of water. 

“Where is Dj?” Namjoon placed his finger on her lips trying his best to not shake her up and slap her for what she tried to do. 

“She's safe. You should get some rest.” He stroked her forehead and the woman fell back asleep. Jin gently held her head and helped her drink some water. Even before she could take two sips Jin popped the question he had been dying to ask her, What did she remember? The water spluttered out of Lily’s mouth and she began coughing violently. Namjoon gave a stern look to Jin while he rubbed her back, Jin just gave a blank expression. Maybe he knew what was about to go down. His mind wanted to see the extent she would lie, but his heart secretly wished that somehow magically she wouldn't have anything to do with all this.

Lily’s huge sobs brought Jin out of his thoughts and the little hope that was peeking its head inside his heart went away in an instant.

“He had his gun here, Right on my head.”Lily wept in Namjoon’s arms and the latter just stopped himself from giving her a piece of his mind.

“Sweetie, did you know who they were? Why were they after you?”

“I don't remember anything, They hit me so hard on the head. Maybe they wanted to hurt you guys and meant to use me like a pawn.” Jin clenched his teeth in rage, Really is this how this woman had been lying to their face all these years? What else had she lied about?

“Namjoon, Jin. I am too tired and weak right now. I want to sleep.” The two men placed her head on the pillow back again and pulled the comforter on her. 

“Sleep here with me please, I don't want to be alone.” The two men obliged unwillingly, What could they have given to not be there with her right now. For the first time ever, They did not want to be there by her side. They had the urge to run miles away from her, But there was so much to know and so much left to unveil, They had to play along.

Lily relaxed a little after she had the two men sleeping next to her side, She snuggled into Namjoons chest and prayed silently that everything was right at the place that it was supposed to be. For the life of her, she couldn't remember a single thing no matter what. While she decided to rest and hope that everything was fine, the two men stayed awake next to her, hating every second of it. This was going to be one hell of a long night. 

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You sat in front of the two men that had been locked in the basement, Your men stood guard outside ready to blow the heads of the two captive men if they tried something. Mikhail kept drifting in and out of consciousness while Borris sat terrified and roped to the chair. His eyes kept moving towards Mikhail and the fear of having the same fate as him and that fear in his eyes gave you a sick level of satisfaction.

“Why can't you just let us go?” You did not dignify Borris’s question with an answer,  You were not even sure anymore what were you even supposed to say to him? These guys came into your life from nowhere and turned it worse than up and down, for their own selfish needs. Tried to pawn you off like you belonged to them or some toy that they had bought. Lily should be thankful you still had not laid your hands on her.

“Will you say something?” Borris bought his voice several notches down, Still not sure of what you would do lest he pissed you off. Mikhail was right next to me, probably wishing he was dead. 

“If I hear one more word out of your mouth, Those worms from his thigh will be in your eyes.” Borris shrieked loud enough to induce another headache, One movement of your leg was enough to have the man apologizing profusely. 

You kept sitting in front of the two men, This time in peace. The entire day kept flashing in front of you like a film, The one you wouldn't even want to have a dream of. You had to plan ahead, Starting from Choi first. The bastard had answers to give.

“You had a long day, You should get some sleep.” You turn around to see Yoongi leaning on the door, His arms crossed and a blank expression on his face. 

“So did you.” 

“Just get up already, It's getting late.” You do not argue with him and get up and start walking with him. You had no energy whatsoever to have another argument with anyone. 

The men had taken their picks from their room as soon as they had walked inside your house, Nobody said anything. You didn't either. Everyone needed some silence to reflect on what they had gone through that day. You had walked straight to the basement to check the captive rats in your house. 

You and Yoongi just kept walking up the stairs, An inexpressible silence engulfing both of you. Maybe you just didn't need words, You didn't know for him but somehow deep down inside you were glad that you were not alone. “Mind if I stay here tonight?” Your hands paused for a fraction of a second before you silently nodded and the man followed you inside. 

“Make yourself comfortable, I'll just wash up.” You didn't wait for his reply as you went towards your bathroom and the said man made himself comfortable on the right side of the bed.

“Can't sleep?” 

“Yoongi?” You touched his shoulder lightly to which he flinched, You stepped back in surprise and placed your hands in the front where he could see them. He had to be too deep in thought for a light touch to be startling him like that.

“I'm sorry, I'm just….”

“No it's okay, I mean are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I'm okay—-

“Are you really?”

“No, I'm not. Hell, I'm not remotely okay. What the hell happened today?”

“I know its a lot to take in—-

“We loved her, you know? Like really really loved her. I don't think I've loved any other woman as much as I have loved her.” Your heart broke at the way he was speaking about Lily with so much pain. All of you were in the same boat, to be honest, You loved Bangtan, Bangtan loved Lily, Lily loved Borris and she didn't give two fucks about who she hurt in the process.

You were all part of a terrible terrible mess, And none of you could do anything about it. “Trust me, I understand how you all must be feeling right now.” Yoongi was visibly at a loss of words, You could see that. You quickly mumbled a quick sorry and switched off the lights to avoid any kind of awkward atmosphere. You had enough of it already.

“DJ…….”

“Hmm?”

“I am sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“I know we didn't know, And we couldn't help how you felt. But now I truly know how it feels when that person you love is not yours.” A tear rolled down your eyes, Though the scenarios were entirely different, but just him at that moment acknowledging that feeling gave you a different strength. They were not at fault, But just the mere thought of someone deeply understanding how and what you've been through healed something. Maybe you were being selfish, But at that moment you didn't give a damn about anything. 

You stayed in the same position facing away from the wall and Yoongi sat up, Leaning on the headboard. None of you said anything anymore. There was a very scarce chance that you would have gotten any sleep considering the way the day had unfolded. You made a feeble attempt to convince yourself that the lack of sleep came from the day you had, And had nothing to do with the man beside you who was already deeply heartbroken. 

You turned towards Yoongi, unable to resist the temptation. A part of you just wanted to pull him in a hug and hold him tight enough to make his pain disappear. Your heart broke into a million pieces looking at Yoongi staring at the wall with a blank expression on his face. 

A knock on your door brought you out of your thoughts, but Yoongi still remained the same. It looked like he didn't even hear it. You touch his hand lightly but upon receiving no response you let the man be and decide to open the door yourself. 

“Can I sleep here?” You make way for Taehyung, who stills for a second when he sees Yoongi on the bed. He quietly sleeps in the middle and places Yoongi’s hand on his chest. Yoongi looks at the younger male in surprise but does not react. You stand still for a minute looking at the scene in front of you. How you wish you had Jeh here. Just his being there made everything so much better.

“Are you going to sleep or what?” 

“Yeah I was going to—- 

“Then come.”

Taehyung’s hand snaked around your waist and you felt a strange sense of comfort. It was kind of a day where you wouldn't choose to be alone. You closed your eyes waiting for sleep to overcome everything you had been through today. You drifted off to light sleep, You ignored any moment that somehow kept happening beside you, Some sleep was all you wanted.

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You opened your eyes to the biggest surprise you had in some time. You could call it a good surprise but it was still a surprise. You were three people when you had slept but you were now waking up to a total of six of them excluding you in your bed. You did not have even the slightest clue when Jimin, Hobi, Jungkook had joined Yoongi, Taehyung, and you on your bed that was meant for two, a Maximum of three and a half. 

You carefully crept out of the bed, making sure not to make any noise because you had no idea when these men had managed to have some sleep. You walked down the steps making up your mind about if you should have woken those guys or if you should just leave them sleeping. You decide the latter and start thinking of the strongest coffee that you would need to make to help with your day better.

You had already made up your mind about half of the things that you had to do today, Choi was on top of it. You could swear you would make him regret coming behind you. 

You park your car in the private parking in the public administrator's building that Choi’s office was in. You make your way to the private entrance of the building which was specifically reserved for the VIP’s visiting the officials. The offices were quite exquisite considering they had special arrangements for the VIPs who didn't want to be seen when they visited the premises and every one of them had a special access card that let them access the building when they needed to.

You take the elevator and land on the floor Choi was located on, The waiting area was absolutely empty apart from the reception.

“Hi, Do you have an appointment?”

“No, But Mr.Choi knows me. Can you inform him of my presence?” The receptionist gauges your calm and collected face for a second and picks up the receiver. You were in half mind if the bastard would see you upon unannounced notice but you had other ways as well.

“I'm sorry but he is a little occupied at the moment, I can pencil you down for some time this week?” You laughed at the weak attempt he made to avoid you. 

“Is he now? Don't worry, that won't be necessary. He will see me in a minute” You send the picture that you had clicked of Mikhail on your phone and look at the camera with a smirk, You knew he was watching you. Ten seconds later the telephone rings and the puzzled receptionist guides you into his office.

“What the hell do you want, I don't know this man?” You laugh at the way the old man didn't bother giving it a minute, You walk towards the couch he was sitting on with a smile that was calm enough to boil his blood. 

“I didn't ask you anything old man, Why don't you give it a minute?”

“DJ, don't think you can fool me with your antics, I'm not bothered.” You let out a laugh listening to his statement, Really? And yet he had let you see him within ten seconds. Ten seconds was all it took you to break that disgusting piece of shit. 

“Okay let me take this picture to the circle then, Let them decide.” You get up and walk towards the door sure of the thing that this time was not your exit, The bastard had too much on the line.

“Wait—-

“You remember now?” 

“Just come back here.”

“Don't leave out a thing, Or else this man is going to be the reason why you will see your own end.”

“He came here because he wanted revenge because you wiped out his family.” 

“And”

“I gave him an idea that he should take down everything you love before you die, And that includes Bangtan.” Now this rang an alarm in your head, Why? Why would he want to go after Bangtan?

“And how did you get in touch with him?”

“You think only you know the people in the Russian mob? I knew it from the day you bought his father here, I tracked him down and led him here indirectly and when he was here I just helped him figure out the details. Since we had the same motives he readily obliged.” You were stunned by the information that the old man had just blurted out, You were still puzzled by how he had planned to use something that didn't involve him in the first place. 

“Why Bangtan?”

“I wanted them all gone.”

“Why?”

“Senior Jung was considering Namjoon to be the head of the circle.” Now this was something that you had no information about. The thought of Choi doing something like this only to eliminate the Bangtan because one of them was supposed to be the next head. You swore you would show him the consequences of it. 

“You did all this because you wanted that position for—

“My son.” He uttered the words rather feebly, Your expression darkened considerably, How stupid was this man that he had chosen to execute all this, and for what. The circle would anyways not have accepted his son, That brat was hopeless. 

You were furious about everything that had been happening in your life, You wanted to bury Lily deep in thorns, This was all because of her, She put you in a mess that was a literal swamp, the more you tried to get out, the deeper you kept going. 

You saw an expression of fear and confusion on Choi’s face. He didn't anticipate you reaching the root of his conspiracy, And probably wondered how you even managed to do this? 

You kept pacing behind his couch, half in a mind to strangle this bastard and chop his head off. You decided the former is a better option. You quietly picked the tie hanging in his coat stand, while the poor guy kept trying to look back trying to gauge your next move.

“Next time I see you playing such dirty tricks on me or either of the men in Bangtan I will make sure you regret the day you were born.” The old man struggled for a breath as you tightened the tie around his neck. How you wished you could choke the life out of this scum.

“I swear I won't” The old man managed to speak a few words in a matter of few seconds, You threw the tie away in disgust and walked out before you ended up killing him for real.

You walk out of the Choi office in a mixed sea of emotions, Anger, despair, and sadness. Those emotions just kept coming back, They kept getting washed to the shore in intervals leaving you in confusion about the way to deal with them.

You kept driving through the roads aimlessly trying to get a hold of your thoughts, You had invited Bratva and Lily’s ex-husband to Korea, That mere thought of Lily’s face when she would see them gave you another wave of sick satisfaction. Even though you were involved in a business that was not legal, and was deeply rooted in blood and conspiracies you never derived any satisfaction that soothed you to the bones, But ever since you knew about Lily’s intentions and her lies there was an evil satisfaction that coursed through your veins. 

The ringing of your phone brought you back to reality from your self-introspection. Seeing Bratva's name on the screen, You hurriedly park your car on the side and with a deep breath click on the answer.  

“DJ” Bratva’s heavy voice booms through the speakers sending a little shiver down your spine even though there was no reason to. 

“Bratva, How are you?” 

“I am good, But something tells me you are not okay, doc.” You almost feel your tears trying to escape through your eyes but you try to keep them in. At that moment you miss Jeh. You had only him in your life who could just by looking at your face, Could tell something was wrong with you. 

“Doch—

“Yeah Bratva, I am right here. Tell me”

“You tell me DJ, What has happened? Something doesn't feel right.”

“Before I tell you what has happened, You will be coming to Korea right?”

“Of Course, we are, What makes you think that I won't come if you call me? We will be there in a week, Zakharov is a little occupied right now. But we will be there for sure.” You smile at the remark reminiscing how you and Bratva had met versus the fondness in his voice right now.

“That's not a problem Bratva, I don't want to inconvenience you in any way— “That's nonsense, Do you want to tell me what happened?”

You narrate the entire event from the time you got back from Russia to Bratva and he listens to you with a stoic expression. The only way you can make the anger emanating from him is the stiffness of his expression and the clenching of his jaw. 

“That bitch” 

“I swear—

“I swear I will kill her when I lay my hands on her—

“Bratva, There is no joy in killing her, I have better plans for her.”

“You mean?” You chuckle at the way Bratva’s face lights up when you say you have a special plan for her, You always felt that this particular idea of putting someone in deep suffering would be ten times gruesome than killing the person and giving them an easy way out, And it was time that Lily tasted this special expertise of yours.

“Bratva, Let me get back to you for the details but for now know that she is in for a treat.” You hear Bratva’s booming laugh and that breaks a smile on your face.

She was indeed in for a treat.

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You open the door cautiously to your home and are immediately greeted by the loud voices in the living room. You could tell from a distance that all seven of them were present in your home right now. You stop at the door and contemplate for a minute whether you should go inside, But then you drive the idea away, This was your fucking house. 

The confusion was about your equation with the men of Bangtan, This was evolving with the speed of light. One day you were mere acquaintances, The next you were supposedly dating, The next you were friends, and now? That was a question you had no answer to.

The room quietens a bit when you enter the room. The sounds that you had been hearing somewhat gave you a hint that they were being joyous about something. 

“Did I miss something?” 

“DJ you won't believe what has happened.” Taehyung pulls you right into the middle of the room and in extremely close proximity to Namjoon, Who you were sure was the source of the good news because the smile on his face was something different than usual.

You were happy and a little relieved to see the boys joyous, Considering how their hearts had been broken and shattered yesterday.

“What happened?’’

“Well Namjoon is the new head of the circle, And that too starting next week. Can you even believe that?” You were genuinely happy for him, Namjoon truly deserved to be the next head, At Least with him being the decision maker, You could breathe in a sigh of relief some of the old traditions needed to be sent packing. With Namjoon, You were sure he would be doing great.

“Congratulations Namjooon, I am so happy for you.” You see a faint dimple appearing on his cheeks right before you experience another shock, He pulls you right into a hug and mumbles a thank you in your hair, You literally felt every syllable of it.

You lose track of how fast your heart starts beating once the woody scent of his perfume engulfs you in its serenity. You remain in his hold for a second, when you pull yourself out of his hold before you lose yourself.

“It's good to see you guys happy.” The boys visibly tense at your remarks but their expressions remain a little on the softer side. 

“It's not like we have an option.”

“Forget that, I think we should go out for dinner or something, I am still sick from yesterday.”

“And—--

“She doesn't need to know, DJ dress up. We leave in fifteen, Max twenty.”

“Wait—--

“Dress up please” Jimin pushes you towards the stairs and you give up on your effort to ask them about Lily. It was definitely strange the way Namjooon said she didn't need to know.

You stand under the shower thinking about everything again and suddenly an idea lights up your face. Namjoon had one week before he had to begin as the head of the circle, And there was also one week before Bratva and Zakharov arrived in Korea. A party would be the perfect opportunity to introduce the two parties to each other, And it would also be a perfect opportunity to stand by and watch the magic unfold.

You hum a happy song walk out of the shower in your towel and stand in front of the mirror before you can spritz some perfume the door to your room bursts open and Jimin and Jungkook come barreling in, You stand shocked to see the two men rooted to their spots with their eyes open.

You clear your throat and gesture towards the door but it looks like it barely registered with them. 

“Out, The door is right behind you.” You try to speak a little louder, hopeful of getting through to them, And before you know it the guys scramble out of the room. You would have to double-check if you locked your room the next time.

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“I wanted to speak to you guys about something.” The boys pause their talks and divert their attention to you. You glance around before you begin to make sure you have everybody’s attention.

“I want to throw a party–

“For? The way all of us have gotten fooled, For that?” You throw a stern glance at Yoongi who surprisingly stays quiet and motions you to go ahead.

“I want to throw a party for Namjoon. He's the new head of the circle and it's a perfect occasion to celebrate.”

“DJ, That is not really req—-

“I am going to invite Bratva and Zakharov to that party too.”

“I'll help with the guest list.” You are quite surprised with the fact that Yoongi and Hobi said that at once, You feel relieved to have the confirmation, Now you are free to plan the party and Lily’s downfall at the same time.

“I would like to see her face. That lying— Taehyung stops himself from uttering the next word. You could clearly see the pain on his face, But there was very little that you could do.

The dinner passes by in a jiffy, considering the excitement the guys had earlier had died down considerably after you mentioned the party and the special guests. But what had to be done, Had to be done. There was no choice.

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A loud banging on your door jolts you awake, You rush to the door fearing the worst consequences when The six guys excluding Jin come rushing into your room, You stand at the door with your eyes and mouth wide open wondering about the reason for this rushed visit.

“She's here, She here.” Jimin points at the door, And for you, it takes a second to register who she is.

“But why are you hiding?”

“We don't want to face her, Not right now.” The panic in the guy's faces tells you that this is not the time to reason with them. 

“Alright, Let me close the door.” But before you could close the door, Lily comes barging in, and before you could say anything she pulls you in for a hug.

“I have been so worried about you, Where were you, DJ? I was so worried they did something with you.” The grip that she had been tightening on you was suffocating you to no end, Her lies just didn't seem to end.

“She's fine, Don't worry.” Lily looked at Hobi with a shocked expression, It was evident that she didn't expect this reaction out of him. You clear your throat at the intervention and move behind Hobi to keep a safe distance from her. You could totally understand why the boys were running away from her, Only you knew how you were resisting the urge to strangle her right there.

“I am fine Lily, Don't worry. They didn't do anything to me. In fact, I was worried about you.”

You could see an uncomfortable expression surfacing on Lily's face but she hides it like a pro. You look at the guys who keep making weird attempts to avoid her by looking everywhere in the room except Lily herself. 

“Where were you all?”

“We, We have been a little busy.” 

“Yeah, He's right. We were busy, In fact very busy.” Taehyung tries to make it sound as if what he is saying is super important but his attempts just go in vain. The poor guy couldn't lie to save his life.

“Tae, are you trying to lie to me?” 

“Actually they're all really worried about us.” You quickly jump in to save Taehyung and the only way you could do that was by turning the tables.

“Us?”

“We are—?” You throw a stern look at Namjoon, Which ends up working on Yoongi too. You could see he was about to say something. 

“Yeah, So what I was saying was, You know how you were kidnapped? I mean both of us were kidnapped? They're wondering who did it, you know? And what could be the intention behind the kidnapping? “ You feel the same satisfaction when you feel Lily tensing after every question, It has definitely worked.

“You don't need to worry you guys, I am fine. Absolutely fine.” Lily tries stepping back to make an exit, But you step right behind her and block her way. You were not done with her yet.

“Do you remember anything from that day Lily?” You feel Lily tensing up even more, The fun is about to begin.

“I—---

“Try to remember Lily, The guys are really worried about you–

“And you.” 

“Sorry?”

“We were worried about you both, I meant.”

“So Lily, Babe, do you remember anything at all? Try to remember.” Jungkoook steals Lily from you places a hand on her shoulder and begins walking to the other guys. Turn by turn Lily passed around like a little doll, And you could see the way she was feeling deeply uncomfortable. A few minutes into the sweet interrogation, She would be sure to sweat.

“Namjoon, Baby I am not feeling too well. Can you take me home?”

“Actually baby, Jimin and Taehyung will take you home. I have a meeting.” 

“Hyung—

“Take Jungkook with you.”

“Hyung,” It was Jungkook's turn to whine, Lily looked at them with a very confused expression. This probably was the first time when the guys must have been avoiding taking her home. Generally from what you saw, It was actually the opposite.

“Go please.” Namjoons stern voice drives the four of them out of the room in a jiffy, You breathe a sigh of relief. The stress that these few minutes had brought was immense. 

“Close the door please.” 

“Sure” You close the door with a confused expression, "They were going to be sleeping here too?

“That's my side, Pick somewhere else.” The way Yoongi pushed Hobi, brought a smile on both your and Namjoon's faces. 

“I will sleep here, I mean Sit here.” Namjoon points towards the sofa on your right and you nod in a yes. You take your place on the bed and the rest of them settle on the bed. 

“Where’s Jin?” You ask, Remembering that you had not seen him after dinner.

“He's gone for a drive, He ran away the minute he saw Lily coming. You laugh the way Hobi scowls, You turn off the lights, and the minute your head hits the pillow you feel sleep taking over you in a minute. 

You wake up with some light ruffling on the side, You turn on the lights to see Jin trying to make some space on the bed, The way he was mumbling something clearly indicated that he was drunk. There were multiple bedrooms in the house and all these men could find was your room.

“Jin–

Your eyes widen when Jin stumbles to your side and kisses the top of your head. Good night, It takes him a few stumbles to reach back to the spot he made for himself. He sleeps on his stomach and passes out faster than a second.

You take a look at Namjoon who was fast asleep, But in an awkward position. You quickly bring the spare pillow adjust his head and decide to go back to sleep. It was indeed a long night.

You had enough time for planning a party, You started with the major things by scheduling details for Bratva’s travel. They had agreed to be in Korea the following week. The guys keep staying at your place and absolutely refuse to return to their homes. Lily without a doubt kept herself occupied, Your guess was probably she was trying to figure out the whereabouts of her boyfriend.

The boys kept waiting for the day when Lily and the special guests would arrive. You kept yourself busy with your work, Party arrangements, and some last-minute deliveries. 

The guys kept hovering around you for one reason or the other, From receiving zero attention from them to having their attention on yourself was overwhelming, to say the least, And you definitely had a problem with the fact that the attention doubled in front of Lily, It sometimes looked like they were doing it on purpose. But you avoided saying anything to them because given what was going on from the past couple of days, You didn't want to create any more drama. 

You tried keeping yourself as away as you could from the cold war that was happening, Lily sometimes tried to stay over and it would end up with everyone in your room.

You decided to ignore everything for the time being, Your sole focus was making the party a huge hit, One for establishing a good image for Namjoon, And mainly was the grand reveal.

The only good thing that kept you sane was your calls with Marco and Jeh. Though Jeh was still unconscious you still made it a point to talk to him at least thrice a day. Marco made sure he let you vent your heart out, You had no idea how you could ever thank god for these two. 

While it was long back that Marco and Jeh had been in Malaga, all of that felt like it was yesterday.

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You walked around the hall greeting and speaking to guests with Namjoon, You had felt weird that Namjoon had asked you to be at his side at all times. You didn't say anything considering that it was a big day for him today. 

Lily kept greeting the other guests alone, you were sure it might have raised eyebrows but that was not something you were going to bother yourself with. You kept looking at your phone to check if Bratva and Zakharov had landed, You received a text message indicating that they had arrived safely, You felt your nerves starting to explode, The excitement, anxiety, and stress of everything had you gulping down flutes of champagne.

“You okay?” Namjoon asked as you finished your flute, You looked at him once and once at the door. There still wasn't any sign of the arrival of the guests.

“It's just the nerves.”

“Don't worry everything will be fine.” Namjoon holds your hand in a tight grip and that somewhat soothes the anxiety inside you.

You keep greeting the guests as they come, and when the beep sounds on your phone you breathe a sigh of relief, Bratva and Zakharov were here, And so were Mikhail and Borris. You had gotten both of them intentionally there, That was a twist you decided to throw in at the last minute. This was going to be epic.

Mikhail was obviously still in bad shape but you had made sure that he had been accommodated well in a wheelchair, And he was kept conscious deliberately to see how bad he had failed.

You kept doing rounds and once you were sure that all the invited people had arrived, You checked your phone for the latest update, And you saw a message from Jin. He had already taken Bratva and Zakharov with them backstage, Mikhail and Borris would be making a grand appearance with them.

The guys made sure Lily was with them once Bratva arrived, And turn by turn the guys wished you and Namjoon good luck.

You walk with Namjoon on the stage and take the mic to greet everyone, You and Namjoon keep arguing over who would introduce the special guests, But Namjoon ends up winning because apparently his vote came with seven other votes that refused to listen to anything. 

You saw the crowd waiting with a smile, It was finally happening. The nerves had calmed down considerably and you were more than okay to witness the spectacle.

“Hello Everyone! Thank You so much for attending today’s party, I am sure each one of you knows how much it means to us. It sure is a big day for Namjoon, Who is about to begin a wonderful tenure as the head of our circle. It is my greatest pleasure to be greeting you all and also host this special occasion. “ you ended the short note with a formal address to the crowd. You handed the mic to Namjoon who thanked everyone who attended the party. He held your hand when he was about to finish his speech, Indicating it was time.

“Now Ladies And Gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to our very special guests who have arrived here from Russia specially on our invitation. Please give it up for our very dear Bratva and Vladimir Zakharov and their friends Mikhail and Borris.” 

The color drained from Lily’s face visibly and in a fraction of a second, you saw fear flashing on her face. You and Namjoon walked down from the dice, Yoongi and Hobi made sure that there was no way Lily escaped from their grip, Even though she tried hard to make excuses they didn't budge saying they had to introduce her to the special guests.

“Bratva, this is the other members of Bangtan, This is Yoongi, Taehyung, Hobi, Jimin, Jungkook, Jin and this is the most special member of the group, Lily.” The guys one by one exchanged pleasantries with Bratva and Zakharov, While Lily tried to maintain her composure the sweat on her forehead and the constant effort to free her hand from Yoongi said otherwise. Her expression changed drastically after Zakharov turned to her and took her other hand to place a kiss on the back of her hand.

“Hello Ms.Lily, Or should I say My wife?”

💝

Combined Beings (xv)

PAIRING: mafia/ceo!bts x chubby!reader

SUMMARY: You are bullied on a constant because korea’s beauty standards do not fit girls on the heavier side. The bullying gets worse once a ceo is attracted to you and he mentions you to the other 6.

WARNINGS IN THIS PART AND UPCOMING PARTS: cursing, smut even (first time writing… English isn’t my first language so just to warn you all 😭), deep conversations based on beauty standards, body dysmorphia, mental health issues, harassment/bullying, gore/violence

TAGLIST (CLOSED) : @scuzmunkie @princess-sunshyn @bangtans-momma @stupendousliteraturewritingoaf @babygirl-277 @elliott-calls @yoonallthetime @atiny-angel @tokiodori @lovwoni @littlrmills14-blog @7soulstars @lizzymizzy-blogg @itzz-me-duh @mma7 @4ukiyo4 @xiusmarshmallow @maliktheking @fluffyspaceprincess @svnbangtansworld @passionandsuga @m0v3m3ntsblog @kungsoonie @idkreallys-blog @generouschildcolor @miriamxsworld @fluffy-canada-pancakes @icravebooks @singukieee @ilymygs-fatima @cryingpages @embrace-themagic @luvlee1313 @skyys-universe @allamericanuniverse @emu007 @needausernamepl @asmenar-ams @stellauniverse @namjoonswaifu @juju-227592 @mageprincess7 @eclipse-darling @iamkookiesforyou @kissme-ornot @foreverweareyoung7 @lovelgirl22 @xyahrinx @guinhosletters @amara-mars @shadowyjellyfishfest @hobiswhore @kooslilhoe @sugaglaze93 (to the bold usernames, your accounts wouldn’t show up. pls fix your visibility settings!)

A/N: feedback is appreciated!

before & after

“Boss, I wanted to tell you something.”

Namjoon looked up from the papers he was currently writing on, watching as Jae stepped forward, a stoic expression etched on his face.

“What is it?” He questioned, placing his pen on the desk and paying his full attention to his head guard. Jae passed him his phone where a picture of a necklace displayed on a mannequin. Namjoon looked at him with eyebrows raised, clearly confused as to what he was looking at.

“Y/n was looking at that for 5 minutes yesterday,” Jae answered. “My wife only stares at something for that long if she wants it and Y/n couldn’t look away. She kept looking at the card and back at the necklace as if she wanted to buy it but she bought your gifts.”

“That girl,” Namjoon chuckled, shaking his head as he already visualized your reaction. He hummed. “Send me the picture and the place. I’ll go get it myself.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Also, Jae,” Namjoon called out for him as soon as the man turned around to leave. Said man turned and he saw his boss staring down at the documents again, “Y/n bought your kids something at the mall yesterday.”

Jae looked at the way Namjoon grabbed some gifts nicely wrapped, noticing your handwriting on a card.

“Really…?” Jae questioned and Namjoon nodded.

“She felt grateful for you being by her side protecting her, so she wanted to buy some gifts for your kids, and wife, and you,” he smiled, making Jae stoically stare at the new gifts Namjoon had passed him. “She wanted me to give it to you since she was going to be spending time with Jin in the garden and she was afraid she would forget.”

“I’ll tell her thank you when I can,” Jae curtly nodded, bowing before taking his leave, the gifts in his hands as he wondered what you bought them all. He even wondered how you even got to buy them without him noticing.

“Ah, so that’s your mom and sister?”

You nodded at Jin’s words as you two ate some snacks after gardening for an hour or two, hands well cleaned after your palms and nails were filled with dirt.

“Yep,” you simply said, a sigh escaping your lips. “It’s crazy to think that I saw them with Iseul’s mom. My mom was never one to make friends and my sister has never liked my mom.”

“Do you think they’re planning something?” Jin questioned, eating the apple slices Yoongi had cut for both of you.

You breathed in and shrugged. “I don’t know… but I’m just worrying about the wedding for now. Do you think it’ll be okay to go…?”

“It’s your decision, sweets,” Jin replied, finishing the last slice before leaning back against his palms, staring at you as best as he could under the sun. “Whatever you choose, you know we’ll be there for you.”

You smiled at him but, your eyebrows furrowed once you realized something.

“Isn’t Iseul’s stepdad someone you all work with?” Jin nodded. “Would he be there at wedding perhaps?”

“I don’t think so,” Jin said, shaking his head. “If it’s events with Iseul and her mother, he won’t join. He’s usually busy with his business and busy with meetings so he doesn’t go out with them. But, it also depends if he’s close to your sister and mother.” He eyed you one more time. “If you’re worried Iseul might’ve snitched on you, he won’t do you any harm. He doesn’t care about Iseul’s… issues because he knows he’s spoiled her way too much.”

“Iseul is genuinely such a beautiful girl,” you stated, a frown still etched on your face. “It just sucks her personalities isn’t…”

“As beautiful as her,” Jin finished for you, noticing that you didn’t want to sound rude. You nodded and he grabbed your hand. “Hey, listen, don’t let her get into your pretty head and make you worry. She and her mom probably have something planned but what they don’t know is that you’re with us. If they harm you, we will cut off any type of work with Iseul’s dad. We give him the money, but we don’t need him as much as he needs us. So whatever they have for you is going to bite them back in the ass.”

You listened intently to Jin’s rant, nodding. “Just… promise to protect me against them.”

He smiled at you, bringing you closer to his side while giving you a kiss on the head. “You know we will. If they try anything, though, and we miss you, you have the bracelet. We will get you more.”

You two stayed quiet, enjoying the serenity of nature that enveloped you both.

“You two are going to get your clothes dirty!” You two turned to look at the source of voice and came to find Yoongi standing by the doorway of the kitchen where a maid of theirs was doing dinner. “Come inside.”

You snorted and Jin stood up, helping you off the ground. You grabbed his hand and you two walked towards the man awaiting for you both with your hands stuck together.

“Thank you for the food, Yoongi,” you smiled at him since he had in fact prepared your food, the maid having just gotten there a couple of minutes ago. From what Jin had told you, she usually isn’t there, only when none of the boys feel like cooking themselves.

“Also, Jungkook is looking for you,” Yoongi told you as he smiled at your words. You nodded and let go of Jin’s hand, who unknowingly tried to reach for your hand again. “He’s in the living room.”

You hummed and turned to look at Jin. “Thank you for spending time with me.”

With one last kiss on the cheek, you headed off towards the youngest of the group, while the oldest stayed behind to process your actions. Yoongi chuckled.

“She’s getting to you,” he teased Jin. Jin simply gave him a look before shaking his head, a ghost of a smile developing on his lips.

You immediately headed towards the living room, finding Jungkook there with some documents in his hands. He looked up once he saw and smiled, putting his work on the table.

“Come here, baby,” he patted his lip and you hesitantly did so, wondering why he called for you as he placed his hand on your thigh. “So, I got a few gifts for you.”

“I-” You simply let out before softly swatting his leg. “You need to stop spoiling me.”

“Take it as a gift for buying me something,” he innocently smiled at you and you squinted your eyes, not believing his words. “But, I’ll admit, with how crazy Iseul and her mother are, I wanted to give you this jewelry as a way for you to be able to press on a piece and it’ll give us a signal of some sort.”

He leaned forward a bit, placing a dainty necklace with a pendant and he gave you some earrings.

“They’re so pretty,” you mumbled, fidgeting with the new jewelry.

“Mmm, you make it look so much more pretty,” Jungkook commented, giving you a grin that had you snickering. “I mean it, too.”

“I know,” you smiled at him before hugging him. “Thank you. I love them.”

“Now, you don’t have to wear them all the time, just when we go out or when you go out,” Jungkook continued, watching you grab his arm, the inked one, and trace the tattoos from his forearm to his hand. You did get easily distracted. He smiled. As silence surrounded you both with you tracing his tattoos, he sighed a little. “I’m going to get your name tattooed one day.”

Your head immediately snapped to look at him. “Don’t do that.”

“What?” He chuckled as he saw your frown. The pads of his thumbs reached up to your forehead, swiping it so he could help get rid of it. “I’m being serious, baby. Wouldn’t it look pretty?”

“Hmm,” you hummed at his words. “We’ll talk about this more later.”

“I’ll come up with a good argument by then,” he continued to smile before he grabbed your face, making you lean down. “You don’t know how badly I’ve been wanting to kiss you by the way.”

The way he immediately kissed you had your breath hitch in your throat, your lips molding with his as perfectly as it had with Jimin. He kissed you so passionate, his hand placing itself on your back to prevent you from leaning way back until you fell off. You could feel the coldness of his lip ring, but you could only focus on the way his tongue swiped at your bottom lip.

He pulled away with a grin as he tried catching his breath, just like you needed to, too. He was enjoying this too much, finally having you as theirs. He could only wish the weekend was way more than just Saturday and Sunday because then, he could enjoy you a bit more, show you how loved you are in their relationship and are going to be.

“Are you two done making out?”

You jumped at the new voice, turning to find Taehyung standing there with a smirk tilted on his lips.

“Yeah, we actually are,” Jungkook replied, his fingers digging on your sides to hold you still since you almost fell. “Do you need to take her away from me?”

“No,” Taehyung shook his head, sitting down next to Jungkook on the couch. He looked at you. “I do want cuddles, though. Business makes me tired so I want to take a nap.”

You chuckled and got off of Jungkook’s lap, heading towards Taehyung, who quickly took you guys down, laying down on your sides while your legs were on Jungkook. He didn’t seem to mind as he continued working, looking over the documents again while his other hand was placed on yours and Taehyung’s calves.

You stared at Taehyung as he did, too. “I like how Im just being passed around.”

“As you should,” he grunted, bringing you even closer to him so he could nuzzle your neck. “We all want to be with you and just hold you. I missed holding you.”

You gasped as his hand traveled from your waist to your ass, making you slap his arm as gently as you had swatted Jungkook’s leg. The action made him and Jungkook laugh simultaneously.

“Calm down and go to sleep,” you shook your head as small laughter escaped your lips, too. You snuggled closer to Taehyung as you now felt sleepy. “I’m feeling pretty tired now that you’re getting warmer.”

“Yeah, you stayed up late with Jimin and Hobi,” Taehyung pointed out. “When I went to go find you three, I just see marshmallows in your hands.”

“They were so fluffy. But, I can’t stare at them right now. I got a stomachache when I woke up.”

“I know, Jimin told me you ate almost half of the bag because you were craving sweet things at night,” Taehyung said before sighing. “Baby, next time you already feel a stomachache, do not continue eating marshmallows.”

“But they were so good,” you defended yourself.

“I know they were but your stomach was hurting.”

You stayed quiet and Taehyung noticed your eyes closing and your breath becoming steady. He stayed quiet and Jungkook stayed, too, and they both listened to you fall asleep almost immediately.

“So, we need to talk to Mr. Kim about Iseul and his wife,” Jungkook spoke up and Taehyung deeply inhaled. “We don’t know what those two have planned. Especially at the wedding. We need to be careful.”

“Iseul is so fucking crazy,” Taehyung nodded in agreement. “And her mom just goes along with her stupid shit for no reason. She’s also as crazy as Iseul.”

“No what I’m wondering is how her mom and sister fit into this,” Jungkook said, passing him the papers. Taehyung stood up a bit, being careful not to wake you. “Her mom isn’t in the same status as Iseul and her mother, doesn’t work for her or with her, doesn’t have any type of relation with Mrs. Kim at all. I even found out where Mrs. Kim or Iseul have been going to and Y/n’s mother hasn’t been in any of those.”

“Then we need to find out how her mom and sister fit into this,” Taehyung breathed out. “I always thought she would somehow get mixed in with our business, be in danger because of other gangs, but she’s only been dealing with jealous women.”

“And that stupid worker,” Jungkook pointed out, grabbing another file. “I searched him up. His record is clean. Everything. I did see the camera in the lobby, he grabbed her when she was leaving and wouldn’t let go if Jae hadn’t been there. He might be connected to Iseul and her mother.”

“In the meantime,” Taehyung started, grabbing his phone from his pocket while you, thankfully, still remained still, “the shipment is coming next week. Mr. Kim already sent us the address and time and from who it’s coming from. Hobi tracked it, already sent some of our men to keep a closer eye on it.”

“Around how much would we gain from it?”

“Another 750 million,” Taehyung answered the youngest. “There’s some people with Yoongi, though, because someone spread news about our sweet girl to other groups.”

“Which means we have go up our security on her.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want her to feel suffocated by it all,” Jungkook nodded in agreement as he crossed a leg over the other. “We only got her yesterday and suddenly they’re threatening to take her away from us. What bullshit is that?”

“I’m more worried about her not being able to handle the threats,” Jungkook sighed and Taehyung hummed, his eyes setting down on your face where hair strands covered your face. “I still want her to work, have her freedom. With this new shipment, especially with that amount of money, we’ll either get more respect or more enemies.”

“I think right now, we’re going to get more threats,” the two turned to look at the new source of voice and came to find Hobi heading towards them. “There was some activity by the new shipment. Two of our men dead, two others, not ours, dead. Mr. Kim’s men.”

“Mr. Kim is trying to sabotage his business with us?” Jungkook questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“He’s meeting up with Namjoon,” Hobi answered before glancing at your sleeping form. “She was just awake not so long ago. How did you get her to sleep?”

“My warmth,” Taehyung smiled cheekily, hand resting on your thigh, caressing the skin. “I’m surprised you’re not sleepy either.”

“Oh, I am,” Hobi nodded his head rapidly. “But I’m hiding it behind the caffeine Yoongi made me drink.”

“Ew.”

“Now, put her with Jimin,” Hobi instructed. “He’s taking a nap in his room. We have a meeting after Mr. Kim with Namjoon and more men and women to take care of our angel here. We also have to come up with something just in case Iseul and her mom have something planned.”

Taehyung nodded and grabbed your form, making you wrap your legs around his waist while he carried you towards Jimin’s room.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if the shipment issues have something to do with those two.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised either. If anything, those two need to be immediately looked into. We can’t bear having Y/n get into their hands. There’s something that’s in it for her mom and sister because Mrs. Kim wouldn’t hang out with someone who’s not in her status.”

Jungkook shook his head up and down. “That’s what we were talking about. There’s something in it for them. The wedding was just used an excuse to have Y/n there. We need to look into the sister and the groom.”

“There’s nothing based on the groom,” Hobi shrugged. “I’ve searched up everything but nothing is coming into the picture. We have to wait until the wedding.”

They remained silent, taking your sleeping form towards Jimin who was silently sleeping on his bed, covers hiding his body from stray eyes.

“Place her carefully.”

When there was a shift on the bed, Jimin opened his eyes and came to find the boys carrying your body next to his own. He lifted his blanket in a tired manner, eyes starting to close by the lack of sleep.

“I need cuddles,” he mumbled and cuddled did he get because as soon as his body met yours, you two snuggled even more closer.

The three awake glanced at you two one more time before walking away with a smile.

“Check on them. Make sure no one gets in. We’ll go in. Right now, we’re going to have people over, I do not want them in there or coming close to this room. If they wake up, lead them away from the meeting.”

“Yes, sir.”

pinkrecs’s bts yandere fic recs

[POSTED ON JULY 12th 2022]

note: this is most (honestly just checkout all of these authors’ masterlists–there’s more great gems) of my favorite yandere bts recs! please show much love to our wonderful authors. the yandere genre does contain triggering themes (ex: representation of toxic relationships, possessive/obsessive behavior, non-con/dub-con, violent behavior, etc). read at your own risk + check out the author’s notes. ENJOYYY ^^

i would love to give each fic a detailed comment on how i love it but i lack the words and writing capabilities to do that. so hope a short spoiler-free comment will do (sorry). GO GIVE THESE FICS A LIKE, REBLOG, OR COMMENT!!!!

Keep reading

Can you recommend some really BTS angsty fics that have happy endings (yknow something that'll torture my heart but I'll still be happy)

YES. we love torturing our hearts <3

backburner by @yoonpobs

sister's best friend min yoongi! x reader

sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?

2. maybe I do by @chateautae

ceo taehyung! x rich reader!

maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

3. practice by @chryblossomjjk

art major jungkook! x smart reader!

what starts as a harmless little "meet up" ends up being way more complicated.

4. Rough edges by @kjhmyg

badboy jk! x reader!

This series is not ended yet, but I couldn't possibly recommend a angsty fic rec and not include this series. fingers crossed, hopefully this has a happy ending :(

5. The return of an empress by @you-are-my-joy

Empress Reader! x Advisor!Jin, Advisor!Yoongi, General!Hoseok, Advisor!Namjoon, Assassin!Jimin, Knight!Taehyung, Knight!Jungkook

After one fateful night, you find yourself transmigrated into your favorite novel as the Empress that shares the same name as you. As a bookworm, most would think you’d be happy, but how could you be happy when the Empress you’ve become is expected to be killed in three months. The only thing on your mind now is to learn how to survive.

Thanks for reading :0

-Drunk Ramblings, Sober Thoughts-

- thanks to anon for requesting this! sorry it took so long, hope you enjoy! x

- word count : slightly less than 1k

- warnings : 18+ topics (DO NOT READ IF UNDER 18!), boys have been drinking, lots of dialogue, this sucks ass, poor y/n

My Masterlist

The gentle click of the front door closing is enough for the boys to descend into madness.

Y/N, their girlfriend, had left to go to some kind of girl's night with a few friends, leaving the boys pouty and half-cut in the lounge.

They had started drinking a few hours previously, just as a way to celebrate the week finally being over; but had somehow found themselves in the boundary between overly tipsy and not-yet blackout drunk.

Namjoon was on his fourth beer after two glasses of whiskey, his eyes half-open with a grin carved into his cheeks. His sweater had been discarded long ago, now simply sitting in just a vest and baggy sweatpants on the loveseat. One thigh touches the arm of the loveseat, the other rubbing against Jimin's.

Jimin giggles into his cocktail, his body waving from side-to-side. He was barely on his third cocktail, yet he was drunk as a fiddle. The poor boy had always been cursed as a lightweight, yet it never stopped him from indulging every so often.

The l-shaped couch across from the two could easily seat all seven of them plus many more; yet only the eldest and youngest sit upon it.

Well, Seokjin is sat. Jungkook is strewn across the thing in dramatic fashion, one leg hiked above the back of the couch while the other lays diagonal across the cushions. His eyes are closed, humming a mix-match of popular tunes in seemingly no order.

Seokjin sits just beside him, wine glass in hand like some sort of rich housewife. Out of all of them, he's the one that's the least drunk, but he's still not sober. He's on his third bottle of red wine, pleasantly happy and his body filled with a buzzing feeling.

Yoongi sits dazed on the armchair, gazing at the TV remote and running his fingers over every button. The stupidly expensive TV isn't even on, the remote just something to keep his hands busy. He'd been knocking back whiskeys and beers since the late afternoon, meaning he was just about on par with Jimin in terms of how drunk he was.

Taehyung and Hoseok walk back into the lounge, arms full with trays of snacks and more beverages. They're the least drunk of the seven of them, but it's still surprising that they can walk straight and manage not to spill anything.

"I miss Y/N." Jimin hiccups out, finally setting down his empty glass with a heavy pout and shining eyes.

"Me too." Hoseok attempts to comfort him with a smack on the shoulder, but it nearly knocks poor Jimin onto the floor.

"Did you see what she was wearing?" Jungkook joins in, practically salivating. The rest of the boys nod in sync, eyes wide with pupils blown out as they shift their thoughts to their partner's outfit when they had left only hours prior.

"Their ass?" Yoongi's eyes go impossible wider, mouthing a 'pow!' as he mimics an explosion with his hands.

"We should encourage her to wear the maid outfit again."

"We should bribe them." Taehyung suggests, the rest of the men nodding in-sync.

"But with what? She doesn't need money. " Jungkook blinks innocently - his brain too drunk to comprehend what the man could possibly be suggesting.

"Orgasms." Namjoon bites his bottom lip as he answers, tilting his head back slightly as impure scenes begin to fly through his mind.

"Do you think she's having fun?" Jimin smiles, unknowingly switching the topic. He takes a sip of the fruity drink in his hand, dreamily sighing as his eyes drift to the hallway, attempting a glance at the locked front door.

"Not as much fun she would have if she was here," Hoseok answers, "When do you think she'll be back? She's been gone for hours!"

All seven of the men glance at the clock ticking away and displaying 23:13, not even two hours since she left. A cacophony of sighs fill the room, the loudest coming from the younger ones, who have began to grow tired. For a while, the only sounds in the room are the ticking clock and the clinking of glasses, the men too exhausted or inebriated to speak.

"What's your favourite position?" Hoseok giggles with every word, the beer bottle on the floor beside him completely empty.

"Missionary or doggy." Seokjin speaks up for what has to be the first time that evening, three empty wine bottles strewn at his feet.

"Hyung, you're boring." Taehyung spits.

"They're affectionate and loving! I love how classic they is. She's our future wife, not our personal whore like some of you make out- I'm talking to you specifically Min Yoongi!"

"I like cowgirl or sixty-nine. It makes me rock hard when I think about seeing her on top of me, using me for her own pleasure." Jimin jumps in, attempting to stop an argument and revert back to the focus of the night: their hot girlfriend.

"The one where you press 'em against the wall and have their legs around your waist and do it standing. I just love seeing how affected she gets when I just lift her up and go crazy," Namjoon goes next, "Her size and strength kink is nuts."

"Cowgirl or spooning I think. Or doggy when she's pegging me." Jungkook follows, grinning widely when he receives a high-five from Jimin in reply.

"Cowgirl is good, especially when you've got her tied up and you're the one in charge. Prefer sixty-nine though."

"That's because you have an oral fixation, Yoongi hyung." Jungkook sarcastically replies.

"Never heard you complain before, brat."

"Sitting lotus." Taehyung speaks no further, downing the last of his drink.

"Butterfly, because she's my pretty butterfly." Hoseok finally ends.

The men's minds are no longer fixated on their girlfriend's absence, but rather on the things they can get up to after she gets back and they sleep off the hangover.

She's in for a long week.

Bts last soulmate

Ot7 poly Scenario: "BTS finds out you are their last soulmate, but they're dating another girl"

“What’s the point in fighting for this?” You asked, brows furrowed with anger as you shook Hoseok’s hand off your wrist when he tried to hold you back from trying to leave.

“What are you talking about?” He asked you, a little hurt by your action and you wanted to console him, you really did, but you also knew that it wasn’t right.

“This,” you said, “us.”

“We’re soulmates,” Seokjin simply stated but you shook your head.

“If I’m going to be the reason for pulling you back from loving someone else, I don’t want this soulmate thing.”

“You can’t just...” Jungkook hesitated and the look of his teary eyes alone made your heart hurt in ways it had never done before. “You can’t, Y/N.”

“We’re meant to be,” Jimin said, eyes just as sad.

But you only grew more frustrated. “Because what? A soulmate bond said so?”

“Yes!” Taehyung stressed. “Don’t you understand? Our names have been written in the stars. That’s what soulmates are.”

“But Sarang, she—”

“We’ve broken up with her.”

Those words coming from Namjoon should have made you feel more guilty, it should have, but seeing them in front of you instead of with Sarang, seeing how desperate they were for wanting you, you knew that it was too late to back away.

You felt things for them.

Sometimes it had hurt feeling that way, you’ve held them back for so long because you were so afraid that perhaps maybe they wouldn’t care about the fact that you were their last soulmate, that Sarang was the right one for them and not you.

And it was still hurting. Your heart.

But right now all you wanted were their arms around you.

“Please,” Yoongi whispered with a plea, “please fight for us as well.”

“We love you.”

Love.

Love.

What was love?

You couldn’t understand it clearly at the time but when they went on to hold you, tears falling against their faces, and you didn’t pull away as you had always done, perhaps being there, right there, in between them all...

Perhaps that was love.

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things

Completed series ✅

Getting Back Into the Swing of Things (part 1)

Or, Namjoon falls back in love with his ex (and his boyfriends do too)

Ot7 x reader (fluff, roommates au, slow burn, but honestly everyone will be falling in love unrealistically fast)

Namjoon was a simple person.

He woke up every morning, kissed each of his boyfriends awake, went out onto the porch and watched the sun rise at 7 in the morning.

Then he went inside, ate the breakfast his boyfriends made for him, and they all got ready for the day, some dressing up for work, some getting ready for other things. Being the CEOs of their own businesses and in charge of their own careers meant they all had both a flexible work schedule and a lot of work to be done.

But Namjoon was used to hard work. He had worked hard throughout school and college, getting the top grades, running clubs, being class president and valedictorian. He was his parents pride and joy, and when it came time to utilize his business degree he did so dutifully.

Keep reading

Little Dove

Little Dove

Pairing: Mafia!Bts x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 3.1k

Synopsis: You were gentle, innocent, and pure. In simple words, the exact opposite of the cold-hearted and callous mafia members who fell for you in such a cliché manner.

Warnings : Harassment, Violence.

A/N: I had so much fun writing this hehe, I hope you enjoy reading, and as always comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

You worked part time as a florist at the dainty store just a few minutes away from your apartment complex. It was an easy way to make quick cash to others, but you weren't entirely in it for the money. The sweet scent of flowers always made your day, no matter what.

Although there were always a few men who came in regularly to ask you out on dates, you always refused. Surely they were nice guys, but you were waiting for someone special. Someone who would make you feel a spark at the very first moment.

A bell-like sound was heard from your door, it was the wind chimes you had recently purchased. It was much easier with them, so now you knew when a customer would enter. You were wearing a white blouse with a beige garden apron over it. Dusting the loose soil on your clothing, you made your way to the counter.

There you saw a man, maybe a few years older than you browsing the different rows of flowers. To many others, they'd immediately be afraid of him. However, you weren't the slightest bit afraid. You had no reason to judge him based off his appearance, even though you could admit his tattoos and piercings were a bit bold.

He wore a white turtleneck paired with a black leather jacket. His jeans were black as well, having slight rips in the fabric. He wore black boots, and had rather long legs. When he finally turned around in your direction, that was when you noticed him having a golden pin name plate stuck on his jacket.

Jeon Jungkook, it read.

" May I help you? " You smiled brightly in his direction, your hair swaying perfectly as a breeze whooshed past you. His face seemed to relax a bit, and he made his way over to the counter.

" Yes, actually.. " He said in a husky voice, biting his lip in confusion.

" This is my first time shopping for flowers and.. " 

" Say no more! " 

The man seemed to be surprised with your quick and determined answer, but you didn't miss the small smile that crept on his face. It was an innocent smile, not a smirk like some other customers gave you.

You lead him to the back of the shop, revealing a shelf stacked with beautiful vases with even prettier flowers inside. Each row was filled, and Jungkook stared in awe at the variety of colors.

" Beautiful, huh? " 

Jungkook nodded and stepped closer to the vases, reaching his hand out to gently touch the petals of one of the pink carnations. However, another bouquet caught his eye. It was all the way on the other side of the room, but it seemed to call for him. 

Without a second to spare, he began making his way over to the much lovely bouquet, filled with purple roses. Some of the roses were pale purple and others were lavender-colored He was fascinated to say the least, and you saw it in his face.

" These. " He said, grabbing the flowers carefully off the table and into his arms. You nodded and led him back to the counter to ring him up.

" Falling in love at first sight " You hummed, punching a few buttons into your register. Jungkook's eyes widened at your statement, and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

" Excuse me? "

" Oh, " You laughed in embarrassment, pink rising to your cheeks. So much so, that you could even blend in with the carnations you two saw earlier.  

" That's the symbol of purple roses.. "

Once those words left your mouth, Jungkook groaned internally. He felt so stupid for even asking what you meant, there was clearly only one explanation for you saying that. 

Deciding he embarrassed himself enough, he just nodded and looked down at the floor. It wasn't common for him to be embarrassed, in fact it was shameful he was feeling like this in the first way as one of the biggest mafia mafia bosses in the entire country.

" Alright, your total will be- "

Before you could even finish your sentence, Jungkook had already opened his wallet and handed you crisp bills, much more than the flowers costed. Your mouth widened and shook your head, only taking a few that totaled up to his total and returning the rest back to him.

However, he was persistent and gave you back the spare money.

" Keep it.. please. "

Even though you were highly suspicious, you accepted the money gratefully. Jungkook had no idea why he was being so kind to you, but you just seemed so innocent.. so sweet. Much different from him, and that made him want to protect you.

" Bye, Jungkook! " You chirped as he was walking out the door, he looked back at you with a perplexed face, how did you know his name? 

Did you know who he was? 

You pointed to his shirt, and he spotted the name tag he forgot to take off.

" Bye.. " He paused, realizing he didn't know your name yet.

" Y/n. " You finished for him.

Pretty, he thought before pushing the door open, your melodic voice still ringing in his ear like a pleasant memory. He couldn't wait to tell his members about you. In fact, they were the entire reason he went to your shop in the first place. He was out buying flowers for them knowing that business had been stressful recently.

" I'm home! " Jungkook called out into the large apartment that they all shared. It was hidden behind buildings, and took a lot of twists and turns to get into. There were guards on watch 24/7 outside the house to ensure safety.

All the other 6 boys were sprawled out on the couch, engrossed into the movie playing on the television. Namjoon paused the movie with a yawn, despite the others protesting to resume it.

" I got flowers. " Jungkook stated which got everyone's attention. They left the comfort of the couch, and walked over to the table which Jungkook unwrapped the flowers and placed them gently into a vase of water.

" What's the occasion? " Jimin asked, eyeing the flowers.

" Just felt like it. "Jungkook debated whether or not to tell the others about you, but ultimately decided to. He couldn't stop thinking about you. He knew you were special, there was just something about you.

" There was a.. " He paused, choosing his words carefully. " cute girl working at the shop. "

" Don't you think you have enough company? " Yoongi rolled his eyes, punching the younger member on the shoulder playfully. He could agree though, he already had seven boyfriends to keep him company, but he really felt attracted towards you, like you were that missing piece in his life.

" She's just.. special. "

After that, they didn't talk about you anymore, but you still lingered in the back of Jungkooks mind. He didn't think he could ever forget a voice like yours, and he was correct.

" L-let me go! " 

A small voice was heard by the boys on a cold night. They were walking home from a business deal, and they were immediately concerned. Normally they wouldn't go out of their way to protect someone, but Jungkook was absolutely positive it was you. 

Without thinking, he quickly turned around and walked back to the alleyway where your voice echoed. Your screams and cries became louder which pushed him to break into a sprint. The other boys were confused but ran after him.

When he finally ran deeper into the dark alleyway, his blood boiled when he saw a masked man hovering over you in a threatening manner. Jungkook was quick to react, and his fist instantly meeting the side of his head, knocking him down on the floor. He continued to strike the man on the floor, not feeling one bit of mercy. 

" Kook! " Hoseok yelled when they finally caught up with him. He didn't try ripping him off of the man, but looked to the wall and saw you. The rest of the members followed Hoseok's eyes in confusion, but frowned when they saw your trembling figure.

" Enough. " Jin ordered, realizing you were becoming more scared by the violent scene unfolding. Jungkook threw one final punch to the man's jaw and stumbled away from the now unconscious man. As much as he wished to continue, he knew he had to follow the instructions given to him.

Your mouth was dry, and nothing seemed to escape your mouth. You just stared at Jungkook in a stunned manner. His face was familiar, but you couldn't but your finger on who he was. To be fair, it's been at least a month since you've last seen him. It only hit you when the light from the moon shone on him, the gold name plate sparkling on his black suit. 

" J-jungkook..? "

He looked so much different like this, his sleeves rolled up to expose more tattoos. Blood was dripping from his knuckles, and purple bruises beginning to form. It made your heart squeeze knowing he was hurt because of you. You would've felt the same way even if it wasn't Jungkook standing in front of you, and another man protecting you.

Without thinking, you quickly ran to into his chest. He stood there stiffly, not knowing exactly what to do. Your arms wrapped around him tightly, and you buried your face into his body for comfort. It was obvious you weren't letting go anytime soon. He wasn't quite used to affection like this, and had no prior experience with comforting.

He looked over in his hyungs direction urging them to do or say something. It was Taehyung's voice who broke the silence.

" Are you alright.. ? " His voice was hoarse and hesitant. 

You didn't reply, only sobbing further into Jungkook's crisp black blazer. However, after feeling the dampness against your face made you pull away. You had caused him enough trouble, the last thing you'd want to do is ruin his clothes.

When you turned to the side to wipe away your tears, you saw six other terrifying figures. You assumed that it was just Jungkook and the other man, not a whole group in your presence. Feeling embarrassed, you quickly bowed in their way to not come off as rude.

You noticed that the other six men were wearing the same golden name pins stuck on their tops, to see clearly you blinked back the tears that were escaping your eyes and read them each carefully, trying your best not to make it obvious that you were looking at them.

Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung.

" I-I'm so sorry.. " The way your voice shook made their hearts ache a bit. Although it was rather inappropriate timing, all of the men found your voice sweet, and your manners cute.

" J-Jungkook.. Thank you.. " 

" She knows you? " Yoongi perked a brow, shifting his attention to the maknae. 

All the youngest could do was clear his throat, not wanting to embarrass himself in front of you. Its not like he could just blurt out " Oh, yeah! This is the special girl I've been talking about for the past month "

No way in hell would he ever risk his pride like that. 

" Oh.. yeah. She owns a flower shop. "

A sly smirk formed on Jimin's face, and Jungkook knew what was coming.

" So you're the special florist our Kook has been rambling about. "

Fuck.

Your gaze changed between Jimin and Jungkook, your mouth gaping in an O shape. Him? Rambling about you? That didn't make sense at all, you two have only met once to be fair.

" S..Special florist? " 

Namjoon hummed and said something about how Jungkook wouldn't stop talking about you, and you didn't miss the bright pink blush that was spreading on the mans face in front of you. If you had to say so yourself, this was not the same man that just knocked someone out less than five minutes ago.

" Shut up already! " He snapped, rolling his sleeves down and glaring at the line of men in frustration. You probably thought he was a weirdo by now.

" I thought.. it was kinda cute. " You admitted, looking up at him with innocent eyes.

Oh, only if you knew what type of people they were. Maybe your answer would be different then. Perhaps you would already be long gone, dashing away from them in fear for your life despite them saving you. 

They were dangerous people, and they knew that.

" We should hurry back. It's getting late. " 

You weren't sure who said it, but you frowned knowing that you'd have to part ways with him. Due to the fact you were in grave danger less than ten minutes ago, you were still shaken up. You didn't want to walk home by yourself just in case something like that would happen again and you didn't have anyone to protect you.

Despite you being scared out of your mind, you didn't want to burden them any more with your troubles. They saved you once, and that was all you wanted to ask from them. Nothing more.

" Thank you again, all of you. " You mumbled, bowing politely once again but this time you were more hesitant and shaky due to the fact you were cold but that was expected. All you were wearing was an oversized beige shirt, paired with a white skirt. The only thing that kept you from freezing to death were your white high socks.

Finding that there was nothing more to say, you turned on your heel and started walking further into the alley, your back facing them. This was the route you used to get home, you'd have to walk all the way into the alleyway and make a right where it ended. From there, you walked straight for a few minutes and then you'd be home.

The gravel shuffled under your shoes but when you stopped to grab your phone out of the small brown purse you had around your shoulder, you realized that there were still footsteps heard. In absolute fear, you turned around with a wince only to be met face to face with all 7 of the men.

" Let us walk you home. " Jungkook smiled, and made his way next to you.

" Sorry if we scared you, we just thought we'd follow you until you arrived at your house. "

" Jin, that sounds so weird! "

" I agree with Hoseok, " Taehyung added, and then looked directly at you. " I promise, we aren't some weird stalkers. "

A soft giggle escaped your lips, and your heart felt warm. Something about them was different, they made you feel something you've never felt before. It was crazy thinking you just met them today, when in your heart it feels that you've known them forever, or that you were waiting for them forever.

When they heard you laugh, they all had this strange feeling in their hearts. Your laughter was like sweet music playing, and they would be lying if they said you weren't their ideal type. Although its hard to judge someone after knowing them for under an hour, the boys just had a connection to you. 

The first few minutes of walking were undeniably awkward, but after a few minutes they began to let their guard down around you. Jokes were being cracked every second making you laugh until your sides hurt, this was genuinely the happiest you've felt in a while.  

Sure you had a warm welcoming smile plastered on your face when you worked at the store, but on the three days you don't work - you just stay home. You don't have much friends to hang out with, and your customers are really the only people you socialize with face to face.

" So, what do you guys work as? " Curiosity got the best of you, and it just slipped out. You guys have been talking about your job as a florist the entire time, so it was nature to wonder what their occupations were.

Suddenly, everyone stopped talking. You took a halt and looked up at all seven of the men who were sharing glances between each other.

" We work in business. " 

" I'm not surprised. You guys look quite extravagant. "

After that, you quickly moved on to another topic. Mentally, you made a note in your head. They don't like to talk about their jobs, got it. You weren't too sure why but whatever made them uncomfortable, you'd gladly refrain talking about it.

Soon enough you arrived home. It was a small house, fit for only two or three people. The area was nice though, it was pretty much empty. That meaning there were never issues going on and you could live peacefully.

" Thank you, again. " 

" It's no trouble, you don't need to thank us. " Namjoon smiled, his perfect blonde-bleached hair being pushed to the side gracefully in the nights air. His glasses reflecting the celestial crescent moon that shone in the sky.

Before you could even let a word escape your lips, they were bidding goodbyes and turning their backs to you. You stayed in place, your feet glued to the cement underneath your shoes. Your eyes followed the seven figures walking down the streets until they completely into the chilly night, their presence long gone - as if they weren't with you a few minutes ago.

Although you just met one not even a month ago and the other six just today, you couldn't help but wonder if you'd ever be able to cross paths with the seven men once again.

HOW BTS FUCKS YOU (18+)

pairing : poly bts x idol!f!reader

genre : smut + headcanons + bts addition

warnings : unprotected sex + dom/sub dynamics + i put warnings before each member so you can skip them if you want because there’s a lot going on with each member

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT **

NAMJOON

warnings : mentions of guided masturbastion, cumplay, pegging, pussy slapping, squirting

he likes to be in control

it’s just the leader part of him coming out

he loves guiding you and telling you how to touch yourself and him

please let him come on your face

just know that this man will let you peg him

but he’s still in control, sorry not sorry

also don’t try to act bratty with him because you will regret it

has a thing for slapping your pussy and watching you moan at the feeling

made you squirt once and was never the same after that

SEOKJIN

warnings : mommy kink, praise kink, marking

you called him mommy ONE time as a joke

but it’s not a joke anymore

he likes it when you call him that, makes him feel like he’s doing a good job at taking care of you

this is something you two would rather keep between the two of you

mainly because you don’t want the others to baby you like jin does

please praise him and tell him he’s doing a good job

absolutely LOVES when you’re vocal and when you leave scratches down his back

you have a small thing for marking his back and shoulders

you both really enjoy when he throws your legs over his shoulders as he fucks you

YOONGI

warnings : slight exhibitionism, studio sex, cunninglingus, cockwarming

nine times out of ten you guys fuck in his studio

he has a thing for you cockwarming him while he’s writing and making music

will even let you help him with a few songs here or there

one time he let you compose, write, and produce a whole song by yourself while he sat back a watched

likes calling you his “little protégé” and armys think it’s just a cute nickname when in reality he started using it when he fucks you

likes calling you that because of how shy you get when he does especially when he’s balls deep inside you

and of course he’s really big on lazy sex and enjoys seeing you wear his hoodies as he fucks you

HOSEOK

warnings : bratty!reader, overstimulation, edging, mirror sex

he has you so fucking spoiled the others can’t stand it

will let you get away with acting bratty to him but isn’t afraid to put you in your place if you get out of hand

will overstimulate you or edge you depending on his mood

if his mood is good and he’s happy then prepare for orgasm after orgasm until you’re crying

if he’s mad or upset then prepare to be edged for hours until your crying and begging for release

love fucking you in front of a mirror especially the ones in the practice room

one minute you’re practicing your dance moves with hoseok behind helping / monitoring you

then the next thing is you’re being forced to watch your fucked out face as hoseok drills into you from behind

JIMIN

warnings : semi-public sex, crying during sex, body worship

fucks you like you’re going to break if he goes too hard

likes holding your hands and keeping eye contact

he has fucked you on a few hotel balconies before and loves the thought of someone looking up and seeing you both

sex with him makes you emotional for some reason, like nine times out of ten you will cry at some point

jimin and the other guys have literally no idea why this happens

this kind of plays into why jimin is always so soft when you have sex

really likes to body worship you especially when he can tell you are struggling

all the guys are soft with you, but jimin takes the crown when it comes to being super soft

TAEHYUNG

warnings : shibari, sex toys, face sitting

he loves practicing shibari on you and taking pictures

could make a whole photo exhibition from the pictures he’s taken of you

loves buying you lingerie and taking pictures as well

buys you lingerie every time you all go to a new country when on tour

enjoys using sex toys on you especially vibrators because he can use them as punishment

“you were being bad so you don’t get my cock, get off while using this and maybe i’ll give you my cock.”

please sit on his face, he wants to be suffocated with your pussy 

JUNGKOOK

warnings : rough sex, 69, spanking, pegging

loves spanking you

whether it’s or bare ass or covered ass he doesn’t care

will also not hesitate to spank you in front of others especially if he’s just passing by

one time smacked your ass so hard while he passed you in the kitchen, it sent you forward on the counter and you couldn’t help but moan at the how hard he hit

he really likes doing sixty-nine with you

says it feels nice having your thighs wrapped around his head while he’s eating you out

also gets off to the sounds of you choking on his dick after he does a particular harsh suck to your clit

like namjoon, he will let you peg him but unlike the leader, he likes letting you be in control

like please ruin him because he loves seeing you in control especially since you don’t get to be in charge of anything due to be the youngest

if you ask, he will willingly hand control over to you

☼ wake up !

or four ficlets about waking up beside your boyfriends

☼various poly bts pairs x gn!reader

☼estabilished poly relationships, one swear word (damn), nicknames, kissing

☼special thanks to @honeytwo for helping me translate this into english, correcting my grammar and other mistakes. thank you for everything! °♡̷•.

☼bts masterlist | main masterlist

☼ jin ┊ namjoon ☼

a rattling wakes you from your sweet sleep. something heavy has fallen to the floor. tired, you whimper and dive deeper into the blanket to protect yourself from the outside world: the sound, the sunlight coming through the window and the cold.

"damn," you hear the swearing as someone crawls back on the bed, wrapping their arms around your waist. you realise that the chill you felt was due to the fact that he wasn't lying behind you.

"did you fall, joonie?" you look out from under the duvet with half-closed eyes. the answer is an annoyed hum. "are you okay?" he buries his face in your neck and nods.

"go back to sleep. jin's alarm will go off soon, but you can rest until then."

you sigh and pull him closer to your back.

"you too." you roll over him, squeezing him a little, eliciting a surprised groan from him, and bury your head in his chest, pushing him further into the mattress. "i won't let you fall down again." namjoon smiles at how sweet you are half asleep, before sleeping again.

☼ hoseok ┊ yoongi ☼

you wake up to a gentle caress. the skin of your face, neck and shoulders tingle gratefully with the touch.

"what time is it? what day is it? what year is it? where am i? who am i?" you mutter a barrage of questions as you find yourself confronted with hoseok's smile and loving gaze. you usually wake up to this beautiful sight, and each time pushes you into oblivion: only he exists.

"haha, i ask the same question every time i see you two," hoseok giggles, then starts stroking and arranging your hair like you used to do with his.

"shut up!", yoongi groans tiredly, and then, hugging the other boy tighter, he presses a kiss on his shoulder, burying his head in the smaller boy's neck.

"grumpy sleepyhead," you laugh, and crawl closer to them, pushing the blanket a little lower over your body so you can hug more effectively.

yoongi sighs a couple of times and settles in again before kissing you to let you know that he is fine, that everything was fine with the nap, but that he would like to rest.

"another half an hour?" hoseok offers to the man lying behind him.

"one."

"fine, but you'll do the breakfast then" you agree, and greet hobie with a morning kiss.

"hmn." the eldest reaches out his arm to gently caress your waist until your wakefulness wears off.

☼ taehyung ┊ jungkook ☼

in the morning your only wish is to wake up in the arms of your boyfriends. although this is achieved, waking up now is unpleasant because of the noise it causes.

"it can't be true," jungkook mutters angrily, unbelievingly, against the thin skin of your neck, hugging you tighter. he wants to hide behind you, but when the horrible concert refuses to end, he groans crankily.

he sighs contently as he presses the pillow over his head, revealing more of his upper-body artistry: the sharp lines of his shoulders, his biceps and triceps, his abdominal wall thanks to the sliding blanket.

you're not happy about his estrangement, but you accept and understand it, hoping both of you get back to your dreams.

you imagine his chubby cheeks, parted locks and half-open eyes, so that you can go back to sleep, but the activity is precluded by the noise from outside.

"who's the idiot who mows the lawn at 4.30 a.m. on a sunday?" taehyung grumbles to his partners, or rather to you, that he is now half awake, but not in the mood.

"our neighbor, auntie kwon's daughter, who's been grumpy from the first moment she saw us."

"what can i say, she's off to a good start on her first day at her mother's." the eldest clings to you, pulls his body up on the bed and buries his head in the pillow. "i don't think i'll sleep until tonight." he declares that he's given up trying, unlike jungkook, who shows no signs of life except for breathing, so you conclude that his plan worked and he's taking a nap successfully.

"i'll join you," you announce, and kiss him. you're lucky to open your eyes, because it means you get to share in the sight of taehyung's first smile of the day. your heart melts, and only continues to flow as the other pulls the blanket over you to give you a more private kiss.

getting lost in the sound of your kissing and your occasional bursts of laughter, it feels like the lawn mower has been turned down. only you and taehyung exist, this is your own realm under the covers.

but the world will only be complete when jungkook resigns himself to the fact that he can no longer nap and climbs under the blanket, hoping to get some of the innocent love you are showering on each other.

his dreams come true, as taehyung leans over you and greets him with his lips, and you do the same after turning to him. meanwhile, taehyung is kissing your neck with sloppy kisses, and every area he can reach from the top of your pyjamas.

you'll sink into the tender caress: in this loving, sensual atmosphere, there's no room for anything heavy or distracting, neither of your minds focused on the song of the fierce shearing tool, but on each other, on the more precious, priceless spiritual factors.

☼ jimin ┊ yoongi ☼

you prefer to be woken by jimin, because you don't like ringtones, and he wakes the earliest of the three of you, snuggled up to your neck.

"pretty" this is how he starts the process, with little caresses and pecks. he continues to call and caress you until you wake up, embracing him, expressing that you are awake.

"good morning!" you return his many pecks with a kiss, then turn to your other side. if yoongi is not hanging around your waist then usually by morning he is facing the wall.

now it's your turn to wake up. you cover the free skin with your lips, and you're satisfied when the boy whimpers, it's a state of half-sleep.

"love!" you nuzzle against his body, whispering sweetly. you're getting a little chilly, you've pulled the covers off during the night. "chim and i want to cuddle you before breakfast." the boy, as if yoongi sees something of him, nods vigorously.

"hug each other," he murmurs, uninterested in the subject.

"are you trading us for sleep? is that what this is about?" you gasp in indignation, disappointment at his reaction. before you can really believe he's that mean, he flashes a yoongi grin and pulls you into his embrace. a surprised chuckle breaks out from you, and as jimin joins in, the three of you laugh at nothing, at sweet nothingness.

💜💜💜

baby (you complete us) 8

C H A P T E R   E I G H T 

Summary: Soulmates were a common occurrence, so common, in fact, that the world sought an easier way to find your other half: A bracelet that would scan your mark and match you with those who shared your mark. Within recent years, soul groups were becoming normal, and your own bracelet said you have seven matches.

Or where you wear your bracelet for ten years, and finally give up the hope you would find your soul group, only for BTS to put theirs on and see what they were missing.

Genre: soulmate au, idol au, angst, fluff, eventual smut,

Pairing: Idol BTS x Disabled MC

Warnings: angst, mentions of depression, disabled mc (Ehlers Danlos syndrome), eventual smut, fluff, lots of fluff, mentions of disability, simp bangtan

Chapter Warnings: lots of insecurities, mc practically snaps, lots of tension, angry/protective yoongi, possessive bangtan, mc believes they’re unworthy, discussion of disabilities, 

*Words in Italics are spoken/written in Korean*

masterlist // chapter 7 // chapter 9

taglist:  @imnotlauriane​​  @mageprincess7​​ @m1sss1mp​​ @0funsite0​​  @strawberry-moonpies​​ @this-isthe-way​ @singukieee​​ @btsw1fe​​ @gooooomz​​  @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @carolinexkpop​​ @agusfree​​ @sakurarukas​​ @iamkookiesforyou​​ @skyys-universe​​ @toughbook​​ @plutoneu​​ @whisperssuga​​ @welcometomyworld13​​ @yuzon3​​ @wittyreader​​ @jnghs​​ @cyd0129​​ @exfolitae​​ @queen-in-the-shadows​​ @nen-nyy​​ @pandxthings​​ @schniti-is-in-the-house​​ @juju-227592​​ @jinseartharmysmoon​​ @wooya1224​​ @ddaeng-angmoh​​ @gratefullygrateful​​ @rorythme​​  @veronawrites​​​ @xiusmarshmallow​​​ @xicanacorpse​​​ @kalala22​​​ @ok-boke​​​ @namjoonswaifu​​​ @sweetcheeksdna​​​ @hyunjingin​​​  @promiseokza​​​ @mushroom-main​​​ @bookluver01​​​ @butterfliesinthenightsky​​

permanent taglist: @m1sss1mp​​ @yourleftsock​​ @skyys-universe​​ @cryingpages​​ @strxwbloody​​  @drissteele​​ @dustyinkpages​​ @iamkookiesforyou​​ @crushedblackroses​​ @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @blaaiissee​​  @iiitsmaria​​  @carolinexkpop​​  @azazel-nyx​​ @strawberry-moonpies​​ @g-h-o-s-t-b-a-b-i​​ @knjkitten​​ @foreverweareyoung7​​ @lachimolala22019​​ @namuficxs​​ @94z-93​​ @kimgmzmc​​ @thenaverse​​ @dahliasbouqet​​ @black-rose-29​​ @tinyoonsblog​​ @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​​ @stellauniverse​​ @stupendouscookiehumanmug​​ @tinyoonsblog​​ @veronawrites​​ @tatyhend​​ @singukieee​​ @m0v3m3ntsblog​​ @exfolitae​​ @butterymin​​ @queen-in-the-shadows​​

———————————————

Previously on baby (you complete us):

“Alright then. Are you ready to go and meet your soulmates?” Songun claps his hands together before gesturing you towards the waiting car parked on the street. You stare at it warily, but you nod your head anyways, pushing and grasping for the feelings the boys have already made you feel, hoping they chase away any of the doubt floating through your head.

“Yes.”

Keep reading

💜💜💜

cry me a river | the habits

— summary: you are a weapon and weapons do not weep

— pairing: bts x reader

— genre: angst, mafia!au

— word count: 6.4k

— warnings: physical abuse, violence, mentally unstable mindset

— PART 25 / previous post / masterpost

One.

Two.

Three.

The seconds will pass. The minutes will fly. The hours will go.

You’re alright.

Endure it. Endure it.

It will pass.

Everything will pass just as everything has always passed.

In time, father will raise his hand to indicate them to stop. A stop signal. He may leave the room out of boredom but he will return just as he always does in order to demand them to leave you alone. He will never be satisfied but there is always a limit to everything and father sometimes gets too bored to keep seeing it, to keep hearing it, so he’s always there to stop it.

Eventually.

Eventually.

You just have to endure it for now until the signal comes, until—

“What are you doing?!”

You didn’t realize it and perhaps that’s because you blacked out, your mind keeping you from feeling it all completely, trying to protect you, but you’re sitting on the ground when a call demands out an answer in a loud, commanding voice, and a rushing of a pair of feet running over to push Karl off you.

Asher punches Karl right in the face, throwing him off you, before demanding the guards he has with him to hold the man back.

“She provoked me!” Karl argues like a child in a kid’s play.

He’s never been abruptly stopped before. Always angry, never satisfied.

Nothing is ever enough when it comes to the two of them. 

Karl landing hurt through his fists and weapons and anything he can get a hand on. Your father landing hurt through his commands, watching and watching and watching.

And you, their victim, who has to stay down and accept it all until there is a small amount of satisfaction that calls at them to stop.

You always wait on that call, no matter how much endurance it takes.

“That doesn’t make it right to lay your hand on a woman!” Asher retorts with anger laced in his tone, and this anger, despite how different it is from that of Karl’s, still shakes you violently though you keep as still as ever, paralyzed.

Paralyzed.

Even when the anger does not fall on you, even when he does not turn to you but towards the companion who stands behind you, who had stood still this whole time. “And what are you doing? Your boss was getting hit and you just stood there?”

Yeonjun, with a snap on cue, kneels over to your side and looks down at you with widened eyes and a frozen expression. He doesn’t touch you right away, cautious, but you see what those eyes mean, you know exactly what that expression is telling you.

That he, too, had reverted back to the past.

When your father still lived, when he had to stand by and watch everything without moving a muscle.

He reverted back just as you had.

Two little kids, who're still affected by the traumas of the past.

Two little kids.

You take Yeonjun’s hand, giving him the permission to touch you, so he helps you back onto your feet and the two of you remain in silence as you walk off with his help, not daring to look Karl in the eyes, not caring to reply to Asher.

But you feel yourself trembling with the presence of a pair of eyes boring right into your back. Not from Asher or Karl or the two guards but from someone else.

The ghost of him.

Of that man.

That man named father.

.

.

.

“Y/N?” There’s concern in Jungkook’s voice when you walk into the room and you guess that’s probably because of the state you’re in, but right now you can’t entertain him so you simply hold a hand up, asking him to stay back, and Jungkook, though worried, leaves the room on your behalf.

When you’re left alone with Yeonjun, you let your legs give in to sit on the floor rather than finding a chair or taking a seat on the bed.

The floor is comfortable. It’s always been more comfortable.

The boy takes your heels off, along with your jacket, and despite the sting of the pain that aches over your body, the only thing on your mind is the fact that you let it happen so easily, that you allowed yourself to walk back into that state of being an obedient and perfect little doll.

You reverted back to the damages just when you thought after father’s death, you wouldn’t let anyone walk over you anymore.

But it isn’t easy.

It isn’t easy.

And it will never be easy.

Father still lives in your head rent free and there’s nothing you can do about it. No matter how much time has passed, nothing will change. It’s already been a little over a year since his death but he’s still here, still thriving, mocking you, taunting you, controlling everything that you are.

You’re shaking, trembling, not just out of fear but out of anger. Angry at yourself. For being so weak, for reverting back, for thinking things could get better.

And with Yeonjun the only one here with you at the moment, you lean into his touch and let yourself into his arms to allow the sort of warmth only your Reapers can provide you.

Yeonjun’s heartbeat won’t be the same as Mingyu’s, it’s probably even beating rapidly right now, so you don’t let your ear rest against his chest and instead wrap your arms over his neck and climb into his lap to lay your cheek against his shoulder.

Yeonjun brings his hand over to rub down your back but he’s a little awkward and unsure because he’s never really had to do this; comforting you. It’s always been Mingyu, and if Mingyu wasn’t there, it’d be Yuna, and if Yuna couldn’t do it, it’d be Dasom, or someone else.

Anyone else.

He’s only a kid after all, just eighteen years old, the youngest of your Reapers, but because no one else is here, he does his best to pick up the role that’s been given unto him.

Yet you feel him tremble slightly himself and you guess that in some way, he must be afraid as well.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to you. “I didn’t…I…”

You know what he’s trying to say, that he failed you, that he couldn’t protect you. But can you really blame him? Because just as you’ve been trained to endure through the pains and take everything that’s given unto you, Yeonjun, the Reapers, were trained to stand by and watch.

Habits are scary.

Frightening.

And because you don’t know how to console him and he doesn’t know how to console you, the two of you remain in silence simply holding onto one another.

Just two little kids having to rely on each other.

Just two little kids.

And after a little while, when things have settled a little more, when he starts shaking a little less, Yeonjun gathers himself and forces himself out of the state he’s in.

He stands up and you watch him leave for a second, not too long, because he rushes, and returns with materials in hand to begin tending to you. It remains as quiet as ever between the two of you, but you see the way his brows furrow in concentration and he stops himself from staying in the mindset of a teenager.

Of a child.

He becomes an adult, a reliable adult. For you. Applying what’s needed on the bruises that have swelled up, wrapping your arm with bandages, and when you frown with disgust at the sight of the white wrapping on you, wanting it off, complaining, he doesn’t fall into your trap and stands his ground just as he’s seen Mingyu do plenty of times.

Yeonjun gets frightened of you at times but he always listens to your every command and does all that you ask him within a heartbeat, but today he grows a pair of wings and knocks you lightly on the head with his knuckles when you try to push him away, when you get stubborn with him.

“Do you want to die?” You glare at him but he doesn’t give in.

“You can kill me after I treat you,” he says and continues his ministrations.

“I hate it,” you tell him. “I don’t like it, this…this white.” You try to scratch at yourself but he grabs your hand before you can and your face scrunches up with anguish. “Get it off me.” 

You tug the pearls on your neck and it scatters onto the floor but you don’t care and move on to the white dress, yet Yeonjun stops you once more.

“You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I’m not weak.”

“I never said you were.” And because he knows the signs, because he’s seen it plenty of times in you, he grabs the sleeve, rips it, then the hem of the dress, and tears that as well without doing too much. “See? Look. Imperfect.” You hate perfect things and seeing that, the tears of the dress, alleviate a bit of your drumming heartbeat, so Yeonjun grabs a pair of scissors to start cutting off bits of your dress.

All your life you’ve been told to be perfect, that everything you do must be under the command of your father. He made you into his perfect little doll, his perfect little weapon, prepared you for the battlefield, prepared you for war.

For the war that he brought, for the war that was his.

Or rather, he was the war itself.

You are a weapon, and weapons do not weep. Weapons are used and weapons do not run off on their own. Weapons are perfect, they fire at the command of their owner, they’re silent when told, and left to waste if they do not do their job.

You’ve never wanted to be left to waste, you’ve never wanted to be dropped back into an empty room, the White Room, and never picked up again.

“I look broken,” you utter a whisper as if shocked at the image of yourself when you look down at the mess of your dress and the white bandages on your body. Your brows are knitted, teeth grinding on each other, fingers dug into the skin of your palm, eyes red but as always, they refuse to cry.

Because weapons do not weep.

And Yeonjun, for a second, almost panics, thinking he did something wrong, but in Mingyu’s wise words, “Just because it looks like I know what I’m doing when it comes to boss does not mean that is the truth. It is far from the truth. There are times when it feels like I’ve messed up, times when I’m about to panic because she responds differently from what I imagined, but you cannot ever show her that you do not know what you’re doing. Ever. Just pretend when you’re in that position, and if you’re good at pretending, she won’t know a thing,” Yeonjun quickly pulls himself back up.

“You don’t look broken,” he puts the scissors down and takes your two trembling fists. “You look imperfect.”

You look imperfect.

Imperfect.

It does the trick.

He sees the way the crease between your brows starts to soften, how your clenched jaw loosens, the way you let him help your fingers unravel from the strength they held digging into yourself, and how your shoulders fall a bit from being so hunched up.

“I look imperfect?” You ask him, eyes wide and puppy-like, darting right to him and though they shake slightly, they look towards him for an answer, for reassurance, to detect any lie, to seek for the truth. But also pleading, also begging for him to say just that.

Even if the lie must disguise itself as the truth.

“You do,” so Yeonjun lies skillfully. “You look imperfect, boss.”

There’s a breath of relief, quiet and subtle, and it comes in a whisper just barely there. Yeonjun keeps you close and presses a palm to your chest, just where your heartbeat strums.

“Now count,” he tells you. “Mingyu says counting is good, right? Count until he gets here.”

“Is he coming?” You ask when he takes both your hands to take over where his palm once lay.

“Yes,” he lies again. He hasn’t made the call yet. “Soon.”

“You have to stay here.”

“I will.”

“No one can come in.”

“I know.”

“Don’t talk to him, don’t let Karl anywhere near me.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

“I’m tired.”

“Alright, come here.” He pulls you in carefully into his lap, in his arms, and you let yourself be warmed and comforted in his arms once more, this time with your back pressed to his chest.

“I don’t want to sleep,” you tell him. “The nightmares…they’ll come. He’ll come. He’ll visit. And he’ll try to make me perfect all over again.”

He. Your father.

“I don’t want to be perfect.” It isn’t a command, it’s a plea. A desperate cry for help.

“Then don’t sleep. But count the heartbeats, yeah? Count.” The soft lure of his voice, gentle, encouraging.

With hands still pressed against your chest, you let your ear tune out everything else in order to hear the beat of your heart so that you can start counting them.

One. Two. Three…

It’s fast and you know that you can’t completely count every individual one of them but you try your best to simply concentrate on only that while your eyes stare out at the window a few feet away. The sun shines brightly from the opened curtains and there’s a small little bird perched on the closest tree.

It jumps onto a branch and rests there with its head moving about in different directions.

There are pretty white clouds up above and one of the bigger ones shapes like a castle and you imagine fairies up there, hiding.

There’s another cloud that looks like a cat and another one shaped like a ghost.

The wind blows and your eyes turn back to the bird that flies off.

Thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five…

It’s slowing down, just slightly.

.

.

.

“I heard what happened this afternoon.”

Kiwi keeps you distracted as he nibbles with your finger. You can’t recall when he’s decided to hang around you rather than his own master whenever you’re around but at least it gives you a reason to not look someone in the eyes.

“Would you like to tell me what happened from your perspective?”

Thirty-something years old. You can’t even remember just how old you are but lately, it hasn’t mattered in the slightest because you feel much younger than what you actually are. Like you’re twenty-something. Even a teen. It doesn’t feel like you’ve aged much.

Your birthday hasn’t been celebrated since your time at the Bangtan manor but it doesn’t really matter. Nothing really matters.

Because you feel like a kid back under the control of your father, having to do what you’re told, obeying his every command like someone who can’t do anything on her own.

Under scrutiny.

“What did Karl tell you?” You pop a question of your own, eyes still unfocused, mind still trying to pretend you’re fine, that you’re okay in a room full of strangers.

There’s only one stranger but a stranger nonetheless.

“He said you provoked him.”

“That’s right.” You don’t deny it and instead nod, expression blank so that Alexander cannot tell what’s going on inside your head. And maybe he does, maybe all of this faking is futile because he’s so wise, but you don’t care. You keep still, you keep vague, and you remain cold.

“Is that so…?” He trails off, perhaps thinking, and you can feel his eyes never leaving you. “And what was it that you did to have provoked him?”

“I told him something he didn’t like.”

“And what’s that?”

“That I killed his best friend.”

“And did you?”

“I did.”

“And who was that?”

“My father.”

He pauses, perhaps because he hadn’t expected that answer but you’re sure he’s thinking back on the moment when you first mentioned your father to him. The “story” you gave him was that your father passed away and was a good friend of Karl’s, though you never mentioned anything else about it. 

And now here’s the answer; you killed him yourself.

“Is that why you let Karl do what he did?” He asks you. “Because you thought you deserved the punishment for what you did? Some people may not regret their actions but they’ll let the person most affected do something against them. Was that how it was?”

No.

No, not at all.

You didn’t let Karl hurt you because you knew he’d be hurt by what you did. You didn’t let him hurt you because you thought he at least deserved to lash his anger out on you. Or that you felt bad. Or that you wanted some sort of punishment. Or that you were repenting.

You let Karl hurt you because you’d always let him hurt you, just as you’d always let everyone hurt you.

Because that was how it always was.

A habit.

Being the weaker one, being the one who would chant the words endure, endure because that was what was instilled in you from the moment Mister Butler died. You cannot get out of your habits that easily, you do not just get stronger because you vow to yourself you will.

You don’t just get stronger and you certainly don’t just decide ‘I won’t let anyone step over me anymore’ and succeed on the first try.

Or the second try.

Or the third.

Even the tenth or hundredth time.

You let Karl hurt you because you were used to it and your body, remembering how it always was before your father died, returned to those habits.

The habits of staying still, the habits of enduring all that came at you.

“Yes.” But you lie because what else is there to say? You lie because there is nothing else to say. Because you don’t want to tell the truth. Because the truth means explaining and explaining means opening up and opening up means trusting and trusting never ends well.

You lie because you have to.

“That is all there is to it.” You put Kiwi down onto the floor and stand up straight, making sure to look in the old man’s direction with your hands held together in a formal stance. “Karl’s story is the whole truth. I deserved what he did, for killing his best friend, for killing my father.”

His brows are furrowed and you sense doubt in his eyes but because he has no proof and because you’re not willing to share anything else with him, he can’t push you too hard about the matter. “Whether that is the truth or not, do you really think a man much older and bigger has the right to hurt a woman younger and smaller in stature? No–” he fixes his sentence, “do you think a man is in his right to hurt a woman?”

“A man is capable of hurting anything that he wishes to hurt. He is in the power to do so.”

“You are strong, Y/N.” He stands to meet your eyes, serious, calm, and collected, but there’s a little twitch in his brows to indicate that he feels a bit frustrated by the situation. “You are capable of dodging his attacks. Even if a man were much bigger and stronger than you, you have the brains to outsmart them. You don’t look like someone who will easily let someone else step all over you.”

No. You are exactly just that. You are still the little girl you thought had changed. You’re still weak.

“So I’ll ask you again, Y/N; why did you let Karl hurt you?”

You hate feeling caged in and right now, despite the fact that only Alexander stands in this room, you feel eyes from all over. And maybe that’s just you being paranoid, maybe you’re just making it all up in your head, but you hate every bit of it. 

Every bit of this.

“I gave you my answer, take it with a grain of salt. Do not pretend to be on my side.” And with that, you turn your back to him and walk off without another word.

Alexander doesn’t chase after you but you feel his eyes.

It’s ironic the way you’re supposed to be the one trying to gain his favor and yet this happens; you pushing him away and putting up your walls. And Asher makes sure to remind you of that.

“Isn’t the whole point of you being here to gain his favor?”

He stops you in the middle of the hall when you’re heading back to the guest room.

“Why?” He asks, genuinely curious, maybe even with a bit of genuine concern in that tone.

“Maybe I’m tired,” you say in a quiet voice.

“Of?”

“Of trying to be likable.”

He hums, considering the answer with his arms crossed over his chest and leaning against the wall. “And that young bodyguard of yours,” he brings up Yeonjun, “he may be a kid but don’t you think he deserves punishment for failing you?”

“No.” You reply easily and Asher raises a brow.

“You won’t punish him?”

“I don’t blame him.”

He watches you as if you were a strange being, like you weren’t making sense, though there’s a bit of unease that marks his features, some sort of disturbance that troubles his thoughts and you realize that you’ve said too much so you start walking again.

“My people aren’t allowed to act unless I tell them to.”

But Asher doesn’t want to leave it with just that. “You wanted my uncle to hurt you?”

“Nobody wants to get hurt willingly, Asher.”

“Then what is it?”

You’re talking too much.

“It is none of your concern, that’s what it is.” With that, you pick up your steps and walk into the room before he can push you any further.

Jungkook is in there when you walk in, and although being left in a room with just him should trigger some sort of response, surprisingly you don’t tremble that easily and perhaps that’s due to the fact that somehow, in some way, your body just knows that Jungkook doesn’t pose any threat to you. Perhaps because somehow, in some way, you’ve learned to put some trust in him in just the slightest way through the times he’s spent acting as your guard.

It’s been a little over a month.

Mingyu came here prior to your meeting with Alexander and surprisingly you didn’t need him as much as you thought you did. You think that’s because Yeonjun managed to calm you down well, despite his perpetual fear in the beginning. He picked himself up in time, after all, and was there for you by mirroring what Mingyu would have done.

Maybe in some ways, your right hand man has trained all the Reapers in how to respond to you when he isn’t around.

He took Yeonjun away for something, though right now you aren’t too concerned about it.

“..Kook.”

You feel tired, you feel drained, and that’s why you’ve managed to only call Jungkook by a shortened name.

He’s responsive at the first call, despite how quiet your voice is, and when he sees that you’ve given him permission to come in close contact with you, he doesn’t hesitate to walk over to you.

“Do you need something?”

It’s odd the way you feel some sort of relief he’s as responsive as he used to be all those years ago. Maybe because a part of Jungkook will always remain the way that he always was, maybe that’s why you’ve learned to associate him with a figure that you can put a bit of trust in.

“When are they coming?”

“They?” He tilts his head and when you reach a hand out towards him, he takes it in order to help you because you feel your legs are weak in the knees.

“Namjoon. Them.” He takes you to the bed so that you can lie down.

“In a month or so,” he replies. “You said as much time as you need to gain Alexander’s favor but the latest would be in a month.”

You’re already winning so what’s the point in waiting? 

It’s been a month, over a month.

You just want to go home already.

“Can you call him?”

Jungkook looks for his phone. “What for?”

“Tell him to come earlier,” you say, body turned over towards him, cheek against the pillow, eyes drowsy. “In a week. I don’t…Karl has…I want him dead.”

For a second his thumb hovers over his phone to look back over at you and there he finds, the little girl he’s seen holding her walls up so high not even a plane can cross over, beginning to crumble in just the slightest way.

You look exhausted.

The makeup does not hide the bags under your eyes, it doesn’t hide the exhaustion, how drained you are over all of this. And maybe a part of that is due to your insisting to stay awake when you needed sleep but a big part of it is the mission itself.

Every mission is a little different from the other, but Jungkook has come to know that every one of them involves someone who has sucked all that sweet girl energy out of you. They’ve all done you wrong and it can’t be easy. It can’t be easy having to face all of them one by one, trying to deal with it all, trying to rid of them, and ultimately as a result, hurting yourself in the process.

“Kook?” Your eyes went closed for a second but upon his silence, you open them up again in order to look up at him, and due to your exhaustion, he finds the pretty girl he once loved all those years ago with the smallest voice as if calling out for him in a sense of help.

“I-I’ll call.” He’s flustered, slightly, but hits the call button with his thumb and walks towards the bathroom. “Stay awake, alright? I won’t be away for too long.”

He closes the door behind him to start looking around for something just as Namjoon picks up on the other end.

“Jungkook?”

“Y/N wanted me to tell you to come earlier.”

“Earlier?” It’s surprising on his end because just the night before, you told him to stick to the original plan. “Did something happen?” Of course something must’ve happened for you to change your mind so quickly.

In some ways you’re just as stubborn as he is, so he knows you aren’t someone who will change your mind that easily.

“This afternoon, uh…” Jungkook hesitates, not sure if it’s okay to relay him the news but something tells him you probably expect Jungkook to not stay silent about it to the boys. They share everything with each other after all, and if you really cared, you wouldn’t have let him anywhere near you after what happened. “Karl, you know, after touching her when she felt uncomfortable?” He did mention the incident a few weeks ago to Namjoon already. “Well, Y/N took up his invitation to tea in order to catch up and stuff and I assume she pissed him off.”

Somehow, Namjoon expected that. After all, you hinted at doing something reckless during your call with him. 

“I’m not sure what happened exactly because I wasn’t there but Karl hit her.”

“What?” There’s some shuffling on the other end. “What do you mean hit her?”

“Not just once. She has bruises as a result.”

“Bruises?”

“I should get back to her, she might fall asleep but I’ll catch up with you later.” He doesn’t wait for Namjoon’s reply before cutting the call off and returning to your side out of worry that leaving you alone for too long won’t be good, and the fact that you might have actually fallen asleep on him.

Surprisingly you’re still awake, though your eyes are as droopy as they were when he left you.

“Can you turn over on your back?” Is the first thing he asks of you and you obey, turning over. The bed dips a little when he takes a seat beside you and that’s when you feel he begins to take your lashes off.

“You know there’s a lot of processes that go into taking off makeup, right?” You tell him when he takes the other one off.

“I know, bub, I’ve done it before.”

Right.

He’s helped you before.

“So just stay still, yeah? You don’t have to do anything.”

You listen to the lure of his voice, as soft as the way he used to speak to you all those years ago, and let your eyes close as he begins to swipe the makeup wipe over your face. It’s gentle the way he does it, almost as gentle as Dasom, and although he’s a little clumsy and isn’t as fast as she is, he does his best during it all.

When the makeup wipe is done, you feel your hair pushed back and a band coming over to keep it out of the way, then some sort of cloth on your chest and tied behind your neck.

Warm water walks over your face. Bits of it, not too much, not too little, so that you don’t get too wet anywhere else, and then the feel of soapy foam begins to rub in circles all over your face. The massage feels nice and you almost feel your consciousness slipping away but you keep awake to the touch of Jungkook’s hands.

About a minute later, he soaks a washcloth into water and starts to wipe the cleanser off you so that you don’t have to sit up and wash it off with water yourself.

It takes a moment but eventually, he gets it done, and then you feel a wet cotton pad swipe over next.

Something about all of this, the steps he memorized either for you from the past or the fact that he now does it himself regularly, feels rather domestic and just…soft.

And in your sleepy and tired state, you feel anything but uncomfortable, lured in with the feeling of basking on top of clouds with your head bathing under the warm sun with light little pitter patters of rain sprinkling over you.

You don’t know why you enjoy this so much despite how different it feels from when Dasom does it for you, but knowing that your trust is beginning to leak outside of Reapers somehow brings a sort of comfort you never thought you’d feel.

It’s a little frightening because trusting is always scary, especially for people that had once broken it, but for some reason, it just…feels right.

Somehow.

And maybe that’s because you know they were never at fault in the first place, that they were just forced into making an unwanted decision. 

Jung Hoseok would probably be in the same position as they were were he to realize the truth all those years ago. If he hadn’t gotten hurt on that mission. If he hadn’t been forced to lay on the infirmary bed in order to recover. If he hadn’t stood away from the six of them.

Even still, as you’ve said it plenty of times before, just because someone doesn’t mean them doesn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.

In the safe space that they provided you, you were kicked out of your own comfort and forced to return to the hell you thought you had escaped.

“Why do you not cry?” His voice keeps you awake and when you look up at him through your lashes, eyes feeling quite dreary and heavy, he finds himself pausing in his ministrations as he stares down at you who’s looking up directly at him.

“Why do you ask that?” You return a question, voice just as soft.

Jungkook’s eyes trail down your face. “Karl…he…” he didn’t see what happened but the aftermath of it is right before his eyes. “And Leehyun and…..” He presses his lips together. “You have..so much to cry for.”

“...Do I now?”

“Is there nothing left?” He asks, a hand brushing back small strands of hair that tries to block your eyes.

You don’t nod because you’re too tired to move so you nod through a blink. “It’s all dried up.”

From the water that he used to clean your face, a drop falls from your lash and trails down your cheek, mirroring what a teardrop looks like, and then you say, “But…if I knew how to cry……do you think you deserve to see them?”

He doesn’t reply but you have your answer.

He doesn’t feel worthy.

This Jungkook and the Jungkook you once knew long ago are the same in the way they always feel unworthy of something. No matter how many times you can assure him, he will always think there is something he can do better, that he is undeserving, that he can never be enough.

But unlike idiots who simply say “I don’t deserve you” and go about their days after breaking your heart, Jungkook says it and steps up to do what he can to try and prove to himself that he can be someone deserving.

He always did all that he could and when there came a point when he looked as if he could finally come to terms with being at peace with his love for you, it was ripped away from him all too soon and now he’s back to square one, trying to prove himself.

Even if it isn’t in the form of love.

Jungkook will always care.

But even still,

“I still hate you.”

It comes out soft, it comes out quiet, and a little timid and a little brave, but you hadn’t meant for it to come out.

If you were wide awake, if you weren’t in such a vulnerable state, you would have never spoken those words to him. But because your consciousness is on the verge of slipping away, you speak them out loud for him to hear.

“I know.” And he replies in the same voice, the same softness, quiet, and timid, and brave.

He doesn’t leave your side even after those exchanges uttered unto each other and you fall asleep next to his presence, next to his comfort, next to his warmth.

.

.

.

Jungkook wasn’t there when Taehyung said he witnessed you sleepwalking but he said that it wasn’t the sort of sleepwalking you’d see in a normal person. He said you looked like a ghost more than anything, and that at times, you’d just stand still in the middle of the room and not move an inch.

No, not a ghost. A corpse.

And now here he is, after endless refusal to sleep and finally allowing your eyes to stay closed, he witnesses what Taehyung had meant.

A corpse standing still in the middle of the room, blanket over her shoulders, eyes staring up at the dim sky outside the window, blank and without any hint of life in them.

He watches you from a distance, a furrow in his brows, with his tongue bitten back and his fists clenched by his side.

Subtle anger lies in his heart, brewing, not at you but towards the world that has made you into the sort of person you are today. Or maybe it had always been this way, maybe you had always been hurting and he just never noticed, maybe it was always like this all along and maybe, perhaps, they made it worse when they left you all alone to fend for your own self.

Feeding you to the wolves.

He’s angry not just at the world but at himself and Jungkook knows that if the truth were to ever leave your lips about what actually happened to you, about all the things that you’ve gone through, he knows that this hatred he feels right now is only but a small fraction waiting to build up before it all breaks into the tiniest little pieces.

Shattering in the way he had broken you.

Shattered.

The world can only do so much but he encouraged it by standing by, by letting it all fall down onto you, by letting himself be convinced that you’d be fine, that everything would be alright.

But nothing turned out alright.

In the days and months and years that followed your absence, they returned to how things were, returned to loving one another, accepting one another, forgiving one another. But in those days and months and years, he can only imagine what sort of events you had to face.

While they had each other, while they always had each other to lean on, did you have anyone by your side?

The Reapers may be one thing, supporting you and giving you their utmost loyalty, but did they ever hold power over the things that happened to you in the way Namjoon could have handled it? In the way he would have handled it?

“Y/N?” You don’t answer him when he calls out to you but he expected that so he walks on over to where you’re standing.

You’re as still as ever, and he approaches with a careful, watchful gaze, hesitant when he reaches a finger over to you. 

A small touch to the blanket, just over your shoulder, and when you don’t freak out or move away from him, he puts two fingers. 

Then another.

Then another.

And when you don’t react to his hand, he proceeds to place a hand on your head and press it towards his chest.

You don’t resist.

“Come on, let’s head back to bed, yeah?” And understanding that you’re okay with him even in this lifeless state of yours, because he knows your body is capable of telling the people you trust and don’t trust apart, he puts his other hand under your knees and picks you up to carry you over back to the bed.

You comply well with him despite your unresponsive self, and when he tucks you back in with the blanket pulled over your chest, he looks back to see your eyes staring straight toward him. Empty yet lonely.

Vacant.

Not at him but through him, and his heart aches a little at the sight.

“You’re alright now,” Jungkook whispers. “You’re alright.”

If Hoseok had been here, would he have been able to do a better job looking after you?

Jungkook wishes he could have been better.

💜💜💜

Eunoia // Ch. 25

eunoia (noun): beautiful thinking, the possession of a well-balanced mind, which exhibits goodwill and kindness

Pairings: Hybrid! BTS x reader

Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognision, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness isn’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?

Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut

Word Count: 9.2k+

Warnings: past abuse, past sexual abuse, cursing, past violence, mentions of blood, panic attacks

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Trained in waking up early and pulling all-nighters because of filming, you were used to witnessing the sun rise. Usually, you didn’t pay it much attention. The sun rose every day and you had other more important things to do than watch it go through the same motions. You were rushing to leave, making coffee and answering texts on your phone or you were too tired to do anything other than go straight to bed and close the blinds.

You had forgotten how beautiful it was, how the quiet of the early morning glowed in soft orange. Only you and Seokjin were awake, snuggled up on the large white couch on the balcony on the main floor. Your feet were laying on his lap and his arm was wrapped around your waist.

You had woken up early, fading images of the red ballroom and empty eyes haunted your sleep as much as you tried to bury them during the day. Thankfully, Jimin hadn’t been there when you had woken up, drenched in sweat and grasping wildly at the sheets to remind yourself that you were at the Castle. That it had been more than a week since you had been in that ballroom.

It would go away. It had to. It was over. Nothing happened to you. You would get over it.

 You got up, stretched your sore muscles from all the walking the previous day and put on some music to take your mind off the long green dress and paddle numbers, and started your day. No one else was supposed to be awake so early in the morning but when you went to the kitchen to make yourself a cup of coffee, Seokjin was already there, mixing pancake batter with a large wooden spoon. 

Putting your arms around him, you had watched him work until he sent you away, claiming that you were distracting him. It wasn’t your fault that his neck looked in desperate need of kissing and that your mouth had trailed downwards subconsciously. Since you weren’t wanted in the kitchen, you went outside to the balcony to savor the sharp air before the sun appeared on the horizon.

Seokjin joined you soon with two cups of coffee. “It feels like a mug of hot coffee would be more appropriate, but the weather’s too hot,” you had joked.

He had made your favorite iced coffee in the way too-expensive coffee machine you had purchased when you first got the house. Another one of your impulsive purchases. But it was worth it. It made some of the best coffee you had ever tasted. The only coffee above that was made by a small coffee shop nestled in a quiet alleyway in Paris. The perfect amount of milk and sugar, not too sweet and not too bitter. 

You were both a little tired from your little trip to the lake. A sweet kind of pull in your chest, not easily noticeable. You had returned as the sky grew darker and had ordered takeout for dinner, which you enjoyed spread around the garden. Surprisingly, almost everything in the baskets had been devoured during your time at the lake. Alice had been reluctant to leave but you had promised her that she was welcome to visit you again soon. She had hugged each of you tightly—even Yoongi, who didn’t seem to mind at all—and promised that she would be back to play more.

“She’s a little hurricane,” Seokjin said. He was glowing with the sunrise stroking his face. “She reminds me of you a little. Was that what you were like when you were little?”

“I was never that cute,” you joked. Your aunt would argue but while Alice was a hurricane, sweeping up everyone in her way and winning them over, you had been a nightmare, difficult to handle, not listening to anyone, and independent to a fault. “Or that social. I would like to believe that I contributed a little to the shaping of her personality but honestly, her parents are both amazing. They raised her really well and she was already incredible to begin with. She will become a much better person than me.”

He looked down at your legs resting on his lap. “That will be hard. You are probably the best person I know.” He shrugged as if what he said didn’t matter, as if it didn’t make flowers bloom in your chest.

You caressed his cheek, prompting him to look at you. “That might be a little worrying but thank you. You are one of the best people I know too. Shhhh,” you quieted down his protests. “If you can say that about me, I can say that about you.”

“I haven’t done anything special. Nothing like you. You-”

“Stop that.” You laid two fingers on his lips and he obediently stilled them under your touch. “First, you don’t have to do anything special. Who defines special either way? Some of the kindest, most loyal, amazing people I know show these qualities in small ways, that doesn’t make them any less special. Second, who says you didn’t do anything special? Who was there for Jungkook when he distanced himself from everyone else? Who cooks for us every day and takes care of us? Who is always trying to cheer us up when someone is feeling down? Who-?”

“Enough, enough,” he interrupted you, shaking his head. His human ear and cheeks were stark red at all the praise. “I know I’m amazing, that’s enough.”

You laughed and captured his lips in a kiss. Warmth, more comforting than what the sun could provide, filled your insides as you tangled your fingers in his soft hair. He opened his lips for you and you slowly explored the inside of his mouth. You had always enjoyed kissing but nothing compared to the kisses you had shared with your hybrids the past few months.

Lazy mornings were rare for you. There was always one reason or another to be running around the house in a hurry to leave or lock yourself in your office. You were hostage to an endless need to always be productive. That’s what mornings were for. Maybe you had been completely wrong because this one was one of the best mornings you had ever experienced.

Seokjin heard the footsteps on the stairs before you did, turning his head around to watch Jungkook, Jimin, and Namjoon climb up. You called for them and Jungkook and Jimin ran to you, squeezing themselves between you. Namjoon followed laughing and sat down next to Seokjin, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

Hoseok, Yoongi, and Taehyung appeared soon and Seokjin left to go plate the breakfast and bring it to the balcony. You didn’t eat on the balcony often, mostly because of the low table that made it a little uncomfortable, but no one wanted to move. Jungkook and Namjoon went with Seokjin inside to help but when you moved to do the same, Jimin wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and wouldn’t let you go.

“No, you are staying with me!” he exclaimed and proceeded to bury his face in your belly, purring.

Hoseok looked at you in amusement and you shrugged your shoulders, used to Jimin’s antics by now. The three of them took one of the other two couches while the five of you remained squeezed in one. Yoongi looked adorably rumpled from sleep, messy hair and heavy eyes, the stark opposite of Hoseok, who was wide awake and energetic as usual. Taehyung wasn’t the statue he was the first few days but he remained perfectly kept and quiet.

You filled your plate with three pancakes and your favorite toppings and dug in. The conversation returned to your trip to the lake.

“When can we go again?” Jungkook asked, chewing his pancakes with passion.

You cut another piece of your pancakes. “You can go whenever you want, it isn’t that far from the house.”

He pouted. “I meant all of us together.”

“That’s… a little harder,” you said. “I’m back at work next week and I have a full schedule. You can go together though. John and Alice could join you even if I’m not there.”

Jungkook’s bottom lip stuck out even further. “It isn’t the same without you.”

“If there is a day I finish work early, I might join you.” You could barely drag your feet back home most days after work and the trek to the lake would feel like hell, but you would try for them.

Namjoon seemed to know exactly what you were thinking. “You are too tired after work for that. After working for so many hours we can’t expect you to trek down to the lake. You come back after the sun has set or just as it’s setting, it would be exhausting for you to walk for half an hour down to the lake in the dark and then in an hour or so walk back again.”

You wanted to protest but you knew he was right. Although your work wasn’t physically demanding, you spent long hours on your feet, instructing the actors and the crew and checking in with different departments. By the time you were home even dragging your feet to the garden for dinner was a struggle.

You reached for Jungkook’s hand, rubbing your thumb in circles to soothe him. “We’ll figure something out, yeah? If I take a day off–When I take a day off,” you corrected yourself, “we can do something fun. We could go to the lake or we could do something else. Los Angeles is full of places to visit and activities to try.”

Jungkook seemed to think about it for a few seconds before perking up and asking if you could visit a gallery he had seen on the internet. You were quick to agree as Jimin joined as well, asking you about all the places he wanted to visit. You had told them before that they were free to go out without you anywhere they liked, you had printed their papers just in case so they could have them in case the Hybrid Services asked any questions, but they had yet to step further than the Castle grounds and the forest alone. John could also accompany them but no one had taken you up to your offer.

As you were finishing breakfast your phone started ringing. One of the producers of Six of Crows was calling.

“Sorry, I have to take this one,” you said, answering the call.

You ended up having to go down to your office to look up some files on your computer. As the premiere date approached, you would be getting more calls like this. Post-production was finished by now and the movie was nearly ready to be shown on the big screen but there were still a few tiny details that needed fine-tuning.

Ending the call, you checked your emails since you were already in front of your computer. You would probably go to the studios later in the day to speak with a few members of your team on the Raven Cycle project. You wouldn’t stay long but it meant that you had to schedule your day around it. Your break hadn’t ended yet you were already overwhelmed with work. Your to-do list stretched on and on, seemingly endless.

Your back and neck were getting stiff because of all the sitting and lounging around. You should start doing some exercises again. During your break, you had only been to the gym once and it was only two floors down. You should get back into the habit but you were great at finding excuses not to go. You were too busy, too tired, too preoccupied.

There was a knock on the door. You looked at the time at the bottom right corner of your computer screen and realized it was four hours later.

“Come in,” you called. You rolled your neck and heard the little pops. You desperately needed some exercise. And a massage. And an improved posture probably.

Hoseok opened the door with his elbow as he carried a tray inside your office. “I come bearing gifts,” he said with a wide heart-shaped smile. It was like the room instantly brightened. If the sun was personified, it would be Hoseok.

“What have you brought me?” you asked, making space on your desk for the tray. You had to look through some of your old files and they covered most of the surface. You stacked them into piles quickly, to be organized properly at a later time.

“Jin made fruit salad and we have some leftover muffins from yesterday. Jungkook made the juice, it’s banana and cherry!”

The fruit salad was a mix of mango, strawberries, watermelon, blackberries, peaches, and berries. A vanilla muffin was next to it and a tall glass of juice. “Everything looks delicious. Thank you.”

You moved to grab the fork and winced when you pulled on your stiff muscles. Hoseok’s smile faded. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry,” you were quick to say. “I’ve just been sitting in this chair a lot these past few days and my back is complaining. Really, that’s on me.”

“I…” He hesitated for a moment. “I could give you a massage if you’d like. I’m not a professional but I… I used to give massages to my past owner often. He was an idol so he danced and performed a lot and I had learned from masseurs how to do it. I could do that for you if you liked.”

“You don’t have to. It’s just a stiff back, it’ll go away when I stop sitting all day.”

A massage sounded like heaven at that moment but you could do without it. Giving massages could be tiring and Hoseok didn’t have to do that just because you had bad posture and had stopped going regularly to the gym. If you really needed it, you could pay a masseur to come to your house. It seemed silly so you never did, but you could.

“I want to,” he said eagerly, his tail standing at attention. “I can make you feel better, I promise. If you’re comfortable with that, of course.”

You searched his face for any sign that he didn’t actually want to do it but you found nothing. “Okay, then. I would love a massage right now.”

“Yay! I will do my best,” Hoseok promised. “Let’s attack those muscle knots! Gently of course.” You giggled as he came to stand behind you. He pretended to crack his fingers before settling them on your shoulders. You were wearing a shirt with spaghetti straps and his hands were warm on your bare skin, which buzzed in anticipation. “Lean forward a little. Yeah, that’s perfect.”

He dug his fingers on either side of your neck and you had to bite your lip to stop a very embarrassing sound from slipping out. It sent a current through your whole body like you went numb to everything except the feeling of his hands on you. He kneaded your muscles, progressively adding more pressure. You closed your eyes, your body relaxing, losing some of the tension.

“That feels good,” you said, trying to keep your voice steady.

“I told you.” You could hear the satisfied smile on his face even though you kept your eyes closed.

One by one, your strings unraveled and your body felt lighter, as if you could float away if he pulled his hands away. He worked on the knots on the back of your neck and around it before he moved on to your shoulders and shoulder blades. You had received massages before–you had visited spas with friends on several occasions–but this felt different. You forgot about work and all the things you had to do, all the million little things that were hanging over your head, and for a moment you let yourself relax.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

The forest was still, bracketed by the almost black of the night. There were no lights that Yoongi could see coming from inside, even though you said there were multiple holiday homes around the lake. The Castle stood alone, like a real castle guarding the forest.

Hoseok was humming along to a pop song that was playing on his phone, it was at a low volume so his humming was almost as loud as the music. It was late into the night, everyone in the house having already retreated to their rooms. Yoongi didn’t care much about the song, it was generic at best. The vocals weren’t great and the beat was the same beat that every song used this summer with a little tweaking. But Hoseok liked it so he didn’t say anything.

The fox hybrid was sprawled on his bed, his eyes half closed as he moved his head to the music. His silk nightshirt had ridden up to expose a sliver of smooth tanned skin and Yoongi’s eyes kept being drawn to it.

“Anything interesting out there?” Hoseok asked. Yoongi shrugged. “You have been standing there for half an hour. Don’t look at me like that, you have.”

He raised his eyebrows, doubting that it had been that long, but moved away from the balcony door, sitting down on his bed. “It’s the same every night.”

“And you still look every night.” Hoseok turned off the music and stretched. His shirt rode up higher.

Yoongi looked down at his hands. “It’s calming. There is something about the trees and the lake, being away from the city. It’s quiet.”

His ears picked up the soft shuffling before a weight dipped into the bed next to him. “It’s nice, isn’t it? Has it really been only five months since we’ve been here? Less than that? I can’t imagine living in the city again, too much noise.”

Yoongi had lived his whole life in cities, he was used to their noise and the way it never went away. The sound of cars and motorbikes, people talking and shouting. It was never quiet. Not the way it was out here.

He wanted to tell Hoseok that he would never have to live in the city again but he couldn’t. On one hand, your job could lead you anywhere and Yoongi had a feeling that wherever you went, they would follow you, just like Virginia. On the other hand, although some part of him insisted that this was permanent, that this life they had built here wouldn’t be taken from them, he knew that the world wasn’t so kind. Sometimes, he stayed up at night thinking about it while Hoseok dreamed. He gazed at the forest to remind himself that they were still here, in this small paradise on earth, and then contemplated all the ways this could end. His mind wasn’t kind to him on those nights.

“Virginia was like this too,” Hoseok continued. “I miss it a little. The countryside was pretty and the house too. Almost like a fairytale. Do you think we’ll go back again?”

Hoseok’s hand was fidgeting on his thigh and Yoongi grabbed it to still it. “Maybe. She will have to film another season after this one. If this show is as successful as they say, there will be a few more seasons to come. They built sets and everything there.”

“I hadn’t thought of that.” Hoseok scooted closer to him and laid his head on his shoulder, their hands intertwined. “Do you think she will rent the same house? I want to go back there. It felt like home.”

Yoongi refrained from telling him that wherever he was, it felt like home. It was something someone more expressive than Yoongi would say, instead he said, “We can ask her. I don’t think she’ll mind. If it isn’t booked at the time, we could stay there again.”

“I’ll recruit Jiminie, she can’t say no to him,” he said, nuzzling closer to Yoongi’s neck, almost scenting him.

“She can’t say no to any of you.”

Hoseok hummed, his breath warming Yoongi’s skin and the scent of cinnamon tickling his lungs. “She wouldn’t say no to you either. If you ever asked her for anything.”

Yoongi didn’t know what to think about that. If he believed it. Yoongi had been trying to do better, trying to be a better person than he had been at the beginning. He would hate himself if he ever put you through what he had before. He would be making it up to you for his whole life. He wasn’t the same as the other hybrids, the same courtesy shouldn’t be extended to him.

Hoseok’s lips brushed his neck, light as a feather, and Yoongi shivered at the touch. Scenting each other wasn’t something new, they had been doing that since they escaped the ring. Before that, they would brush their wrists together through the bars of their cages, longing for the small comfort of each other’s scent. After Yoongi had disappeared, Hoseok had been touching and scenting him more as if he was afraid that he would slip through his fingers.

Some nights, Hoseok would crawl into his bed in the middle of the night and cling on to him. “Stay,” Hoseok would say. He didn’t tell him what his nightmares were about, he didn’t have to.

Yoongi vowed to himself to never leave him again. He would bite, scratch, and kick his way to him if he ever had to.

He had a lot to regret about that first month. He hadn’t only hurt you, he had hurt everyone else too. His own nightmares persisted, leaving him clutching the sheets, with his back to Hoseok, staying deadly still so he wouldn’t wake him up. So no one would know that those days still haunted him even though he wasn’t the one who had suffered.

In some of his dreams, the hybrid ring got to him before you did and punished him for escaping, before stabbing an injection in his neck and hauling him to the ring for one last fight. In others, it was Hoseok that they took and those were worse. They found him when he was looking for him and Yoongi could do nothing to stop them, voiceless with his feet rooted to the floor.

In some rare ones, he never made it out of the house. Namjoon threw him against the wall and held him there, looking more like a vengeful god than the real Namjoon. His sharp teeth gleamed viciously as he sunk them into Yoongi’s neck, breaking the skin and ripping out everything that was keeping him alive.

Hoseok pulled back, his eyes searching Yoongi’s face. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Thinking.” Of course, Hoseok would notice his thoughts spiraling. Yoongi had mastered hiding all emotions from his face but Hoseok could see right through any masks he crafted.

“You looked a little lost there for a moment,” he said, drawing closer to him again. “You can talk to me, you know.” He spoke almost jokingly but he couldn’t hide the tendrils of hurt in his voice. “I know you like to keep some things to yourself… But I’m here for you. I would never judge you, I swear.”

Yoongi was a coward. After his talk with Jimin, he had been planning to tell him everything but he kept putting it off. It was never the right moment, it could wait.

“I know,” Yoongi said quietly, squeezing Hoseok’s hand. “I want to tell you. I think you deserve that after everything.”

Hoseok frowned. “It isn’t about what I deserve. I just want to know so I can help. So I can understand you better. Nothing you say can ever change the way I see you. Nothing. You were there for me when I thought my life was over, that everything was over. You saved me, Yoongi. I would have died in there if it hadn’t been for you. I would trust you with my life. But sometimes, when you don’t tell me things—important things—it makes me feel like you don’t trust me at all.”

Yoongi’s heart gave a terrible bang. “That isn’t true. I trust you. I trust you more than anyone. I trust you more than I trust myself. It’s just… It’s hard to tell you when I want to forget.”

“I understand,” Hoseok said, his gaze falling on their joined hands on Yoongi’s lap. “But I don’t think you can forget either way.”

“You’re right, I can’t. And I never will.” It was too big, too cruel. For worse or for better, it had changed who he was to his core. He was who he was because of what had happened to him and Jimin. He had met both Jimin and Hoseok because of that monster. “But I want you to know now.”

So he told him everything. He detached himself from his words and numbed his feelings, because he was afraid that if he didn’t, he wouldn’t be able to sleep. He started from the beginning, from his first owner to the terrible end. He couldn’t look at him as he spoke, focusing on their connected hands. Hoseok’s scent soured until Yoongi could barely recognize it. But he had to power on.

When he was finished, Hoseok shot up, wrapping his arms around him impossibly hard and buried his face in Yoongi’s neck. There was wetness brushing against his throat and Yoongi only hugged him tighter.

“I’m sorry.” Hoseok’s voice was breaking and Yoongi hated that he was the cause for it, even though it was better this way. “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” He brought his wrist to Hoseok’s neck, gently scenting him. They both needed it. “You saved me too. You saved me, Hobi.”

And sleep claimed them like that, wrapped up in each other with dried tears on their cheeks.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

Taehyung lay still in his bed, not making a sound. Phantom pains spread over his body, squeezing and squeezing until nothing was left of him. His head was loud but the sounds were muffled as if he was submerged underwater.

The room was illuminated by the soft light from the lamp next to his bed. He left it on every night. It was the same pattern, his nightmares not allowing him to rest more than a few hours at a time. There were new ones now. Ones of the red ballroom, the people in the chairs turning into monsters and dragging their claws all over his skin. You stood among them in your green dress, watching as it happened, your face empty.

Taehyung opened his eyes. He could see the forest from his room. He had never been to a forest before coming to the Castle, had never even seen one. It was majestic, the dark greens and browns, the way the branches reached towards the sky. Upwards and upwards.

He closed his eyes again. His tears had long dried when sleep swept him away again.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

Your heartbeat rattled your chest as if being chased by an invisible force with no escape. You swallowed down the bitterness in your mouth and willed the sharp images of your nightmare away. They were so clear, the red curtains and the shiny floors. The taste of the expensive champagne and the hors d’ oeuvre on your tongue. Long dresses swayed at your vision's edge, silk, velvet, and satin. Steady hands held guns aimed at you, they went off with a terrible scream. You woke up.

You were awake. You were in your room in the Castle. You were safe.

You tried to calm down your erratic breathing. Jimin was sleeping next to you and the last thing you wanted was to wake him up in the middle of the night and worry him. Clenching your teeth, you silently counted each breath. Were your hands shaking? They felt like they were shaking.

One, two, three.

Slower. Try slower.

Did your hands stop shaking? You gripped the fabric of your nightgown.

One, two–

A sleepy voice calling your name disturbed the murky waters of your mind. “Are you okay?”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. It was over. You were in Los Angeles. You were fine. Nothing had happened to you, no one had questioned you. You had gotten out. You were fine.

“Did I wake you up?” you asked. Your voice sounded weak even to your ears.

You heard the sheets rustle as Jimin moved closer. “Can I hug you?”

In the darkness of the room, you couldn’t see him well, only the shape of his body. “You don’t have to ask.”

“You are shaking.”

Were you? So it wasn’t just your hands. Another deep breath. Force your muscles to relax like the pieces of a machine.

“I am okay now, don’t worry. Come here.” You opened your arms and Jimin crawled into them, hugging your waist and laying his head on your collarbones. “Go back to sleep, kitten.”

Jimin shook his head. “Not if you don’t. What happened?”

“Just a bad dream, it was nothing.” The lies tasted bitter on your tongue. Were they lies though? It should be nothing, it shouldn’t be haunting you like that. Nothing had happened to you, you reminded yourself as if you repeated it enough times maybe the nightmares would go away. “I just need a few minutes to forget it.”

“Do you want to talk about it? Maybe that could be better than forgetting,” Jimin said.

But forgetting was the goal. Or at least getting rid of the nightmares that shouldn’t still be happening. It was over and you were okay. You were okay. There was no reason to worry Jimin, not when you weren’t the one who had suffered. You got dressed up, drank some champagne and made small talk. It wasn’t the end of the world.

“You don’t have to worry about this, it’ll go away on its own.” You run a hand up his back to comfort him. “My brain is just playing tricks on me.”

Jimin’s hand sought out your own and intertwined your fingers. He was quiet for a few moments before speaking, “Is this about the auction?”

You stilled. He couldn’t have known. You hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. And what right did you have to complain about it? You composed yourself. “How did you guess?”

“You have been… different since you came back. You have been lost in your head. I know you are tired and it’s hard with Taehyung now but you can talk to us if you want to. It must have been really scary.” He drew closer to you, gripping your hand tighter.

“I wasn’t alone. I had John there with me.”

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t scary,” he whispered. “We were scared for you. We thought– We trusted you but we were scared.”

Your fingers tangled in his hair and rubbed behind his cat ears which you knew would relax him. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s okay. Taehyung is here now.”

Regardless of how many nightmares you had and the tightening in your chest whenever you saw the color of blood. Regardless of the constant fear of being discovered that would never go away. You could never regret what you had done. Not for a moment. Just thinking of Taehyung in that man’s hands evaporated any doubts you had about your decision.

Jimin nosed softly at your collarbones. “We love you. It’s okay to be scared, you can share it with us. You can share it with me.”

“I’m not scared,” you said. It didn’t matter that it sounded like you were lying to yourself. “It’s over. It’s been more than a week since it happened. I’m the last person who should be having nightmares over it.”

“Why are you saying that? It must have been terrifying.”

You took a deep breath, the red bleeding into the darkness. “It was easy to blend in. It was like so many of the parties and galas I have attended. I was the guest of honor, no one suspected anything. I wasn’t the one–”

You cut yourself off before you uttered the words but both of you knew. Silence fell between you. You wished you could fall asleep again but sleep was so far away.

“Do you feel guilty?” he asked quietly.

“For what?” You were confused. Why would you feel guilty? You had done your best, probably more than anyone in their right mind would do.

Jimin gave a small shrug, bringing your joined hands to your chest. “You just sounded like it. Like you felt guilty for having nightmares about it. You don’t have to be. You are here and you are okay but– But you could have not been.” There was fear in his voice and it hurt.

You held him closer and squeezed his hand. You were there now and you wouldn’t be going anywhere. His breath warmed your bare skin. You weren’t alone anymore, you had seven people to think about when you made decisions. You had a home and you would fight to get back to it every time.

“Let’s go to sleep, kitten. We’ll dream better together.”

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

After your short break, your return to work was uneventful. A few more days would have been nice but time was moving fast and there were a lot of things to do. On your first day back, before you had left the house Jimin and Jungkook got teary-eyed saying goodbye to you. Going back to work was hard for you too after being used to staying at home with them, but you would fall into your usual routine soon enough.

Your work was a big part of who you were, returning to the studios was like returning home in a way. The cast and the crew greeted you warmly with hugs and pats on the back. Will handed you a pack of papers and you made your way together to the reading room. You would be doing a few read-throughs to get the actors familiar with the characters again and work through a few knots in the script.

It was the same way it had been, waking up at the crack of dawn and returning when the sun was descending in the sky. The hybrids clung to you in any way they could while you were home. At breakfast and dinner, there was always someone touching you, Jimin sitting on your lap or Namjoon holding your hand or Jungkook hugging you from behind. They missed you and you missed them too but there was little you could do.

In the quiet of the night when most of the hybrids had retired, you asked Hoseok how Taehyung was adjusting. The answer was always the same. Hopeful but disappointing as well—guilt ate at you for feeling disappointed when you knew Taehyung was doing his best.

The story of the Raven Boys unraveled during the days and the nights. Your copy of the script was overflowing with red ink, underlined lines, and writing in the margins. It was shaping up to become everything you had envisioned and more. And you were happy. But you also missed spending more than a few hours at the Castle.

You could invite them to join you for filming and spend a little more time with them. However, you had a one-track mind while you were working and you couldn’t provide the attention they deserved. Often, you got too lost in your work. You could feel it now, clouding your mind and blending the days into a string of numbered scenes and takes.

It was a blessing that one week into filming, you finished early, just a couple of hours after lunch, and instead of staying and obsessing over the smallest details like you were prone to doing, you packed your backpack and returned home. John drove you back with instructions to relax and not think about work until the next morning. You didn’t mind listening to him.

“I’m home,” you shouted after opening the door. Due to their sensitive hearing any hybrid on the top two floors would hear the door opening, you liked to let them know it was you so they wouldn’t worry. You had wanted to surprise them so you hadn’t texted that you were coming back.

Jimin and Hoseok were the first ones to rush to the living room. Jimin fell into your arms with practiced ease and buried his face in your neck.

“Surprise,” you said, ruffling his blond hair.

He purred in contentment. Hoseok also joined the hug, his fluffy tail wrapping around your legs.

“Are you staying?” Jimin asked, his eyes shining with hope.

“I am. We finished early today so I’m all yours for the rest of the day.”

Jimin cheered and held onto your hand, following you into the kitchen where you poured yourself a glass of homemade lemonade from the fridge. A book and a few notebooks were spread over the kitchen island and you took a closer look at them. You recognized the textbook as one you had bought a few years ago during your first visit to Seoul for the press tour of one of your Oscar-winning films. You had read through the first few pages on the plane back to LA and when you had arrived you had placed it on the shelf that housed all your language-learning books and never picked it up again.

“Are you learning Korean?” you asked Jimin, scanning the awkward handwritten Korean letters in the pages of the notebook.

Flustered, Jimin didn’t look at you as he replied, “Hoseok is helping me. I thought I could communicate better with Taehyung if I knew a bit of Korean but it’s really hard.”

“He’s doing really well though,” Hoseok interjected with pride. “He is getting good at reading Hangul and he knows a few basic phrases too. He is learning very quickly.”

Jimin shrugged, his cheeks getting adorably rosy. “I have a great teacher.”

Hoseok cooed at the younger hybrid while you flipped through the pages of the textbook. You recognized your handwriting on the first few, you had written down a few questions you had so you could look them up later, which didn’t happen. Now, the answers were written underneath your questions in blue ink. The next pages were marked in both Jimin’s and Hoseok’s handwriting, there were notes in the margins and between lines and little doodles of flowers and butterflies.

Footsteps climbing up the stairs prompted you to let go of the notebook. Jungkook came running through the kitchen door and threw himself at you, nuzzling into your neck. You planted your feet on the ground and caught him just in time before you both went flying back.

“You’re back,” he whispered. He was bouncing on his feet, his excitement contagious.

“We finished early so I packed everything up and rushed back,” you said. “Has it been that long since I was back at a normal hour?”

Jungkook nodded resolutely and you couldn’t help but giggle. The truth was that it was the first time you were finishing early since filming had started again. The first week back was the busiest since you had to review everything, redraw most of the plans, check in with every department, and generally when you weren’t actively filming you spent them running around the studios like a headless chicken.

You should get a day off as soon as you could. For a workaholic, you missed being at home with them too much.

Namjoon and Seokjin were the next ones to appear at the kitchen door. Jungkook still hadn’t let go of you so they were content to leave twin kisses on your cheeks while teasing the bunny hybrid.

“Is Yoongi with Taehyung?” you asked, noting the absence of the two hybrids.

“They are in the garden,” Namjoon said, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Yoongi has been lounging in the sunlight since we finished lunch.”

“He’s starting to gain some color, he looks less like a ghost these days,” Seokjin joked. “Sometimes I think he is more cat than Jimin is.”

You laughed with them before your attention was drawn back to the textbook. It was hard learning a new language, you knew that very well. It could take years to reach a decent level depending on your dedication and the language itself. You remembered Alice suggesting you should learn Korean to communicate better with Taehyung. Jimin was doing just that without anyone asking him to and by the handwriting on a good chunk of the textbook, he had been doing it for some time.

Namjoon also took an interest in the textbook but he already seemed to know that Jimin had been studying the language.

“I would like to learn to,” he said. “I didn’t have to chance to learn another language in the past and it would be beneficial if we could communicate with Taehyung in his mother tongue. Maybe it would get him to open up more.”

Seokjin nodded. “I think it’s a good idea. I would like to learn a bit of Korean too.”

“I could teach you a few things,” Hoseok offered. “But I’m not a teacher, I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. I can teach you a few words or phrases but”, he glanced at Jimin with a guilty look, “we are having some trouble with grammar.”

“That makes sense,” you reassured him. “It is very different speaking a language, especially when it’s your mother tongue, and teaching it to someone else. That’s why there are university courses for it. It’s a difficult job. But if you really want to learn Korean, I could find you a teacher who specializes in it. That way Hobi would have less on his plate as well.”

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Really? Can you do that?”

“Of course, I can,” you said. “I can find the best Korean teacher in Los Angeles and I can ask them to come here so you won’t have to go to the city. I’ll have to provide transportation of course. How does that sound?”

“Amazing,” Jimin cheered and hugged you again. “Thank you, thank you.”

“It’s the least I could do.”

The least because you couldn’t do the same. You didn’t have the time or the energy to learn another language when most of your day was taken up by your work. During the days you were at the studios and at nights often you had to retire to your office to answer emails and revise scripts before going to sleep. The best you could manage would be to learn a few basic phrases but that wouldn’t be helping anyone.

The arrangements for the teacher were easy. You didn’t have to look long on the internet and after a few calls you had found the perfect candidate who was more than happy to make the trip to the Castle three times a week and stay for three hours to teach the hybrids. You added a very generous bonus for her trouble.

Before finalizing the contract, you talked with Hoseok about an idea you had.

“She could help Taehyung with his English as well. A couple of hours a week could help a lot,” you suggested.

Hoseok was on washing duty after dinner and Taehyung had gone to his room for the night so it was the perfect opportunity to talk to him about this.

“It’s a great idea, if he wants to. I do my best but… I don’t think I’m helping on this,” Hoseok said, scrubbing a plate with the sponge. Foam was everywhere.

You rubbed his arm soothingly. “You’re doing amazing. Much better than I could have hoped for. But I know it’s hard for you and I wish there was a way to help you. I’m sorry I can’t do much.”

Hoseok shrugged, bubbles rising above the dishes. “You are doing the best you can, given the situation. You have already done more than anyone would have expected of you.”

Laughter floated in from the living room. You smiled through your exhaustion.

“Ask Taehyung about the teacher, okay? And tell him it’s your idea, not mine. I don’t want him to accept because I am the one asking.”

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

Jimin ran down the stairs, laughing wildly. Energy coursed through his veins and urgency pushed his legs to run faster and faster. He felt like a nymph in Land of the Gods, running through their trees, their hair flowing like an enchantment and laughing and laughing. He didn’t look at his pursuer, he knew who he was and it only filled him with delight.

The rooms blurred as he passed by, never losing his footing. He emerged in the garden and the sun kissed his skin, the fire inside him burning hotter in the heat. The green stretched around him and for a moment, he got the crazy desire to go into the forest and get lost there, underneath the shade of the tall trees. He wanted to dance and drink and eat juicy fruits between the trees like the fae in the stories you told them yesterday night.

Maybe one day.

Instead, he rushed to the stairs that led down to their room. The footsteps behind him were getting closer and he pushed himself to go faster, flying down the stairs.

There was nowhere else to go now and he paused in front of their bed. It was enough time for two hands to wrap around his waist and tackle him on the mattress. He resisted a little, just for show, before wrapping his own arms around broad shoulders and laughing some more. He felt like a child, in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling before.

“You can’t escape from me,” Jungkook said, hovering above him.

“I didn’t try,” Jimin replied, running his hands over his shoulders and up the sides of his neck. “Bunnies are supposed to be fast, aren’t they? But you only caught me when I had nowhere else to go.”

Jungkook leaned into his touch. “I would have caught you anyway. You couldn’t run forever. Now you’re mine.”

He lowered himself until their bodies were merged together. He sniffed at Jimin’s neck, taking in his scent like he had done so many times, before rubbing his nose and his cheek over his scent gland. Jimin couldn’t stop the purrs that escaped him as his body melted. His hands tangled in Jungkook’s hair, who made an appreciative sound.

The scent of pears and gardenias was everywhere, it was deliciously overwhelming. He could almost taste the sweetness and tanginess of the pears on his tongue.

He tugged on Jungkook’s hair before he could lose his mind. “My turn.”

Jungkook arched his neck back to allow Jimin to scent him. He quickly found his scent gland and buried his face there. He closed his eyes and a garden bloomed behind his eyelids.

Jungkook’s scent was so sweet and it was mouth-watering combined with the pack’s scents. He could smell his own scent there and Namjoon’s scent of summer rain and pine trees was enveloping everything. The aroma of honey buns and sweet milk glazed over them like sugar and notes of cinnamon and sandalwood pushed through. If he looked for it, he could detect your scent, naturally fainter than hybrids’. Greedily, he searched for two more scents but he could only get the impression of dark chocolate. He might have imagined it.

“I’m happy,” Jmin whispered like it was a secret. There was the irrational fear that if he said it any louder, he would tempt fate to take it back.

“I’m happy too,” Jungkook said, laying his head on Jimin’s chest.

Jimin tangled his hands in his hair and massaged his scalp, he was rewarded with a pleased sigh. “It’s like everything has finally fallen into place. I’m not sad anymore. I didn’t realize how sad I was until I wasn’t. Even when I was happy, I was sad too. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You don’t have to.” Jungkook caught his hand in his and brought it to his mouth, placing kisses on the back of it. Jimin’s heart fluttered with the wings of thousands of butterflies. “All that matters to me is that you aren’t anymore. I only want you to be happy. I know it isn’t possible to be happy all the time but I want us all to be happy. Together and happy.”

“Together and happy,” Jimin repeated quietly.

Every time he was was with Jungkook like that, his mind strayed. It went to all the possibilities, all the could-have-beens and the what-ifs. What would have happened if Jimin wasn’t a coward, if he hadn’t run away? If he had told you what had happened before, would he have been braver? Did Jungkook feel the same after everything that happened? Did he still want to kiss him?

His bunny was so beautiful, his soft dark brown ears that flopped against his hair, his cute nose and large eyes that held the galaxy inside them. Everything about him was beautiful and Jimin loved him so much he could burst. He wasn’t sure if it was right to love him like this, to want to kiss him and hold him like lovers did but he trusted you when you said that it was okay.

Lost in his thoughts, he tugged lightly on Jungkook’s hair, who let out a sound that lit a fire inside him. It was a moan, Jungkook had moaned.

His cheeks growing red, he looked at Jimin like a deer caught in headlines. “I’m sorry! I didn’t- I shouldn’t-”

“Jungkookie, it’s okay.”

“No, no. I’m sorry,” he continued quickly. “I don’t know why I did that. I’m-”

“Jungkook,” Jimin said more firmly. “It’s okay. Really. I didn’t mind. You… sounded good.”

“Good?” Jungkook asked confused. And his eyes, how could his eyes hold so many stars inside them?

Slowly, Jimin tugged at his hair again. “Yeah, good. I liked it.”

“Oh.”

They looked at each other and the world faded around them. There was only them, them and the heat brewing between them.

“Do you-” Jimin looked away. He couldn’t just ask him like that. But what else could he say? “I love you, I love you so much. I never want you to forget. Anything that may happen, I’ll still love you.”

“I love you too, you know I do. You are my Jiminie. I would do anything for you.” He bit his bottom lip and Jimin wished he was the one doing it instead. “Did something happen?”

“No, I just wanted you to know,” he said, cupping Jungkook’s face. His skin was the highest quality of silk and satin under his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so difficult, so… scarred.”

Jungkook’s hand covered his and his gaze was unyielding, it didn’t allow him to look away. “Never apologize for that. Never. You aren’t difficult, you are incredible. You are strong, stronger than I could ever hope to be. Your scars don’t define you. I met you with your scars and I love you with them all the same. I don’t care if I have to be a little more careful or if I have to hold you a little closer sometimes. Just being close to you is all I need.”

There was a stinging behind Jimin’s eyes. “My baby,” he said like a prayer. An invisible thread pulled him closer to Jungkook until only a breath separated them. “Can I kiss you?”

“Kiss me?”

Jimin hated the doubt and the fear in his voice, he grieved that he had been the one to put it there. “I want to, I promise. It’s okay, I talked with Y/N. I’ve been so stupid. I want to kiss you so much, baby.”

“Please. Please, kiss me,” he said, voice breaking.

Their lips came together softly. There was no rush, no harshness, only love and patience. He was warm, warmer than he had ever felt. He was safe in Jungkook’s arms, hidden away in the Castle, in their home. Sweetness coated his lips. He might not deserve this, might be too broken for this but he never wanted to let go.

Two tears rolled down his cheeks. Catharsis.

Jungkook pulled back in panicked haste. “Did I hurt you? Did-”

Jimin let his tears run their course down to his neck in favor of cupping Jungkook’s face. “You could never hurt me. They’re happy tears. I’m very happy.”

The tension in Jungkook’s face eased and Jimin pulled him closer again. As he kissed him, he tasted love and freedom. He tasted of healing.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

The grand piano stood by the glass wall in the living room, polished until the black surface reflected the light like a mirror. It was a thing of beauty, a gem dipped in luxury to decorate a rich household. For Yoongi, it was so much more.

It was a few hours until you would be back home and the sun was setting behind the forest. The lights were off in the living room and it was painted in the red, gold and pink of the sunset. You would be back later than usual, the filming schedule was packed for the day and after that was done you would visit the headquarters of the production company. You had told them to eat dinner without you.

Yoongi’s fingers flew over the black and white keys. He closed his eyes and focused on the music. Each note was a bright light in the darkness behind his eyelids. It was easy to get lost in the music, in the feelings it evoked and in the pictures it weaved.

He heard it when Taehyung arrived. He didn’t speak, gave him space to go away if he wanted or simply listen in silence. The melody grew more tender.

Taehyung didn’t go away, he drew closer. He hesitated before sitting on the bench next to him, leaving a small space between them. The song blended into the next one and the next one until the familiar stiffness spread over Yoongi’s fingers and he stopped.

Outside, the reds and golds had turned into purples and deep blues. Yoongi would have to turn on the lights soon.

“Do you want to try?” Yoongi asked when the silence stretched and Taehyung didn’t seem to find the words he was looking for.

Taehyung looked at the piano in quiet wonder. “Can I?”

He was so young and it made Yoongi furious that some bastards had carved the innocence and joy out of him. He wanted to find the monsters who had done this to him and tear them apart limb by limb.

His long fingers hovered over the keys. “How?”

“Just do whatever feels right.”

Taehyung pressed the keys one by one at first, the faint lines of a smile appearing on his face at every new sound. Progressively he got braver, pressing keys together and creating disjointed melodies.

“Together?” Taehyung asked shyly.

Yoongi couldn’t say no.

Please comment and reblog it motivates me to keep writing

💜💜💜

Eunoia // Ch. 26

eunoia (noun): beautiful thinking, the possession of a well-balanced mind, which exhibits goodwill and kindness

Pairings: Hybrid! BTS x reader

Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognision, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness isn’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?

Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut

Word Count: 12.1k+

Warnings: past abuse, past sexual abuse, cursing, past violence,

Masterlist

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It was the second time Taehyung was in Jungkook’s atelier—only recently had Jungkook started thinking of it like that, before it was the atelier—but he was looking around him like it was a fairytale and everything was made of magic. Jungkook guessed he must have looked a little like that as well the first time you had shown him the room and told him it was his to do as he pleased. Athens and the Parthenon stretching on the wall never failed to inspire wonder and a deep respect in him, regardless of how long it had been since the first time he walked inside.

Everything else in the room was quite different from that first day. The once pristine and unused room was now splattered in paint. It was everywhere, on the floor and the cabinets and on the many newspapers that he used to cover everything. The first time he had stained the floor with paint, he had gone to you with teary eyes, lowered ears, and a hundred apologies on the tip of his tongue. You had simply laughed and told him that the room was his and he could paint the whole floor if he wanted to. The only thing you asked of him was to be careful of the wall painting. Jungkook would have never touched it in the first place.

Finished canvases were leaning against the cabinets and the walls. Most of them were of places Jungkook found beautiful, the Eiffel Tower, the Parthenon, a neighborhood in Amsterdam he had seen in one of your photos. There were also a few paintings of the pack, you and Seokjin cooking in the kitchen, Yoongi playing the piano, Namjoon and Hoseok under the large tree in the garden, Taehyung with Alice at the lake, and Jimin smiling so wide his eyes turned into crescent moons.

Jungkook longed for Jimin with an insatiable hunger. Now that he had gotten a taste of him once and Jimin told him he wanted it, now that there was no guilt and anguish, he couldn’t get enough of him. He wanted to always be touching him, holding him, and scenting him. His scent was like an aphrodisiac to him and he was addicted.

However, when Taehyung had shyly asked about his atelier, he was compelled to show it to him. It wasn’t often that Taehyung asked for anything and although he hadn’t specifically asked to see the room, Jungkook knew he would like it. Taehyung’s smile was also addicting and rare like a precious gem. So, he had left Jimin with Seokjin to cook in the kitchen and had taken Taehyung’s hand and climbed down the stairs. His hand was soft and he could still feel its ghost on his palm.

He was right, Taehyung’s smile was worth it. It was a tiny one, a small curve of his lips, but it was stunning.

His tiger ears twitched when his eyes landed on the painting of him. He approached slowly, taking it in. A hand reached out but he drew it back before it could touch the canvas.

In the painting, Alice was grinning brightly at Taehyung, one of her rainbow butterfly hair-clips clipped on his dark hair. But what Jungkook loved the most about it was Taehyung’s smile. For the first time, with Alice, Taehyung looked genuinely happy. The painting didn’t do the moment justice, he hadn’t managed to capture the tiger hybrid perfectly. He had taken a picture of the two of them and used it as reference but it was difficult, almost impossible, to immortalize Taehyung’s beauty in that moment.

“Do you like it?” Jungkook asked gently.

Taehyung startled as if the painting had enchanted him and Jungkook’s voice broke the spell. He hugged himself with one hand, almost like he wanted to stop himself from touching the painting. “It’s… beautiful.”

“It was a beautiful moment,” Jungkook agreed. “Alice is incredible, right?”

Taehyung nodded slowly. “I… have it. The butterfly. She doesn’t want back… it.”

They both looked at the painting. Jungkook wasn’t sure if they were seeing the same thing but maybe they were.

“Do you want to paint again?” he asked, breaking the silence. He took down the half-finished canvas of a beach from the easel and replaced it with a blank canvas.

Taehyung didn’t hesitate to agree this time. They picked up different brushes, chose a few tubes of oil paint and set themselves to work. Jungkook showed him how to paint a sunset—he had perfected the skill through a lot of observation and many YouTube videos. Taehyung seemed to have fun blending the colors and drawing the shapes of semi-transparent clouds.

They stayed in the atelier for a few hours until they were called for dinner by Hoseok, whose heart-shaped smile at seeing them together in their paint-splattered clothes rivaled the beauty of the sunset. After the meal, Jungkook asked if Taehyung would like to take the painting of him and Alice to his room. They hung it on the wall with Yoongi’s help and went back to the garden together.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

You were filming at Monmouth Manufacturing for the day. They were the last couple of scenes you would be filming there for Season 1. Hopefully—and most probably—, you would see it again next year, or the year after that, filming for Season 2. First, you would have to finish Crooked Kingdom and then towards the end of the year, maybe you could work on the Raven Cycle. Your schedule was already crazy and you were troubled about what that meant for the next year.

A headache was brewing behind your temples and you were trying very hard to ignore it. You had been at the studios since 6 o’clock in the morning and you were going crazy. It would be one of those 15-16 hour days. You could see it coming. The executive producer of Paper Hearts had called to tell you that you were desperately needed for a board meeting for the next season. They had changed the time of the meeting to later in the afternoon to fit your schedule, which proved that it was important. You dreaded the drive to the other side of Los Angeles and what was sure to be a very long discussion.

During your lunch break, you texted Namjoon that you would be late again. He didn’t say anything but you knew he was disappointed. He had to be. You had barely spent any time with them in the past few days. There were also matters you still had to discuss. You hadn’t told the other hybrids about the thing between the three of you and they deserved to know. Your headache got worse just thinking about it.

You flipped through the script during a small break, sipping on your third cup of coffee of the day. It was making you jittery but the other option was falling asleep in your chair.

“Okay, I think we are good to move on to the next scene,” you told Will. “And then we’re done for the day.”

“Should I get someone to call the actors?”

“Yeah, see if they are done with makeup and send them in.” You rolled your neck and let out a heavy sigh. “All things considered it’s going pretty well.”

Will chuckled as he motioned for someone from the staff to come closer. “For someone who’s been here since six, you’re doing remarkably well.”

You waited for him to send the man to fetch the actors before speaking again. “We’ll see about that when we’re done with this scene. If I’m on my feet and awake by then, I deserve an award.”

Will shrugged, leaning back on his chair. “I’ve seen you do worse. Do you remember when we were filming ‘The Grand Masquerade’ in Prague? You were running on three hours of sleep a night for a week. I thought you would fall asleep during filming and wouldn’t wake up for a couple of days.”

“I was younger then,” you shrugged it off. You eyed the script again, focusing on your notes. “ I don’t have the same energy.”

“It was three years ago.”

“Three years can be a long time.”

You could understand that better than anyone, considering that this year sometimes seemed like a decade to you. In a year, your whole life had changed. You were different, everything was different from last year. Three years could be a very long time, indeed. But also the blink of an eye.

One of the actors arrived and you both greeted him. Soon, he was swept away by the movement director.

“I think you need another break,” Will declared in all of his dramatic glory.

You tapped your long nails on your plastic cup, the action was strangely soothing. “I think I need another coffee.”

“You certainly need a break,” Will insisted. “And you certainly don’t need another coffee.”

He had noticed your restlessness, then. “We just came back from a break. And there is no time for another one. After we are done here, promotions for Six of Crows begin then there is the premiere and the tour and they are getting everything ready to begin filming for Season 6 of Paper Hearts. And Crooked Kingdom is next year and I am very behind on that.”

Will’s face did that thing he did whenever he was done with you, his features slacking like he was bored and a little irritated. “You can’t be behind on something that hasn’t even started yet. Be serious.”

“I am. Deadly.”

Will rolled his eyes. “Break. You need a break.”

The rest of the actors arrived then and the subject was dropped in favor of going over the details of the scene with them. They took their places and filming began. There was a place where the scene kept being snagged and you had to go over it four times to get it right and five more to perfect it.

By the end, you were running like you were being hunted to find John and drive to the company building. The meeting as you had expected was long and tiring. At least, it was a productive one. You discussed the script, the new additions, and the schedule. You shared a few worries and disagreements you had and you mostly managed to find the middle ground. Another meeting would be held in a week before filming would officially start in a few weeks.

It was past eleven when you opened the door of the Castle. No one was in the living room, which was to be expected.

“I’m back!” you shouted, even though no one would hear you if they were in the garden. The night was warm and your skin felt stifling. Sweat dotted your forehead and the change of temperature, when you walked inside the air-conditioned Castle, sent a shock through your system. Your legs had turned to stones and you struggled to take off your shoes.

All you wanted was to fall asleep. You opened the balcony door and shouted again that you were back and that you would be in your room. You closed it before you could hear any replies.

In your room, you had to force yourself to change into your pajamas instead of falling face-first onto your bed in your dirty clothes. You didn’t have the energy to take a shower like you usually did at the end of the day. Your appetite had also disappeared. You hadn’t eaten dinner but you weren’t hungry. You were taking off your makeup in the bathroom when there was a knock on your door.

For a moment, you debated not answering but you dismissed the thought instantly.

“Come in,” you called. “I’m in the bathroom.”

You heard the door open and close again. You dragged the cotton pad roughly across your face, you didn’t have the patience to be gentle and it left your skin red. Some days it was just too sensitive.

“Are you alright?” The care in Seokjin’s voice tugged at the tight knot in your chest, loosened it. You glanced at the door but he wasn’t there.

Most of the makeup was gone from your face and you looked like a mess. You threw the cotton pads in the bin and washed your face quickly to get rid of the mascara under your eyes and any stubborn residues of makeup.

Seokjin was standing by your vanity, waiting for you. It wasn’t often that he came to your room. You weren’t used to seeing him there but it felt right.

“For someone who has been running around for more than sixteen hours, I am peachy,” you tried to joke but the delivery was lacking. It was confirmed by Seokjin’s frown.

“That’s too much, even for you. That isn’t healthy.”

“It is what it is,” you said, trying not to sound defensive. “It isn’t something I haven’t done before. And tomorrow’s schedule is easier so it’s alright.”

That didn’t seem to do anything to ease his mind. “Because you did it before, it doesn’t mean you should keep doing that.”

You rubbed your temples, your headache was getting worse. “There are things that need to get done. I can’t just stop because I’m tired. I get calls all day and my inbox is full of emails I haven’t answered yet. I have a million things on my plate, I can’t ignore them.”

“I know,” Seokjin said, his tone softer. He came closer to you and took your hand in his. The touch was grounding. You hadn’t realized you were spiraling until your feet were planted on the earth again. “We know how important your work is and how much effort you have put in to be where we are. It’s admirable and it’s incredible that you’ve managed to do all this. But your health is important too. You can’t keep running with an empty tank. You need to rest too.”

You heaved a sigh and let your head fall forward to rest on his chest. Your nose wasn’t as sensitive as a hybrid’s but breathing in the familiar sweetness calmed you. He hugged you and drew you closer to him, his hand kneading the tense muscles of your shoulders and the back of your neck.

“We missed you,” he said almost in a whisper.

“You always miss me.”

Seokjin stayed quiet but you both knew. They always missed you because you were always gone.

“You should eat something before you fall asleep. Yoongi and I made gnocchi with prosciutto and parmesan and garlic bread with mozzarella. I can bring it here but I think it would be best if you ate in the kitchen. Everyone wants to see you but they don’t want to bother you.”

The simple act of going to the kitchen sounded like climbing a mountain. Your bed looked too attractive, only a meter away and very very soft. Your eyelids were heavy with the need to sleep and yet…

“I’ll come to the kitchen,” you said. Having woken up at five, you hadn’t seen anyone before leaving. The thought of not seeing them at all today left a sour taste in your mouth. “But can we stay here? For a bit?”

Seokjin placed a tender kiss on the crown of your head. “Of course. For as long as you want.”

You lost track of time in his arms but no more than five minutes must have passed by the time you pulled back with a heavy heart. A temporary balm had been applied to the ailments of the day. You could hold yourself up for a few more minutes to eat a little, you had been doing it all day.

Your legs were as heavy as concrete walking to the kitchen. You had to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, otherwise, you might just collapse. There was noise coming from the kitchen but your tired mind couldn’t register what they were saying.

You were surprised to see that everyone was there waiting for you, even Taehyung. Yoongi placed the plates in front of your seat and Jimin added the cutlery. Everyone else was sitting around the table in their usual stools.

Their greetings were quieter than usual and you guessed that they were conscious of how tired you were. You gave them the warmest smile you could master and patted Hoseok’s hair as you passed by to take your seat. The aroma of the food made your stomach growl, you hadn’t realized how hungry you had been before. Your appetite was back. Everything looked incredible as always and you couldn’t wait to dig in.

“Are you all just going to look at me while I eat?” you asked, picking up your fork.

The hybrids looked sheepish at your question.

“We just wanted to see you,” Jungkook said. “You left too early in the morning.”

You had to compose yourself to pierce a couple of gnocchi with your fork and not sigh out loud. Yoongi’s eyes were heavy on you, they were the ones you could detect with the most ease. You were the most aware of him.

“I had too much to do today. They have been bugging me from the studios for days. If I didn’t start early, I would have never finished. And I prefer an early morning to a late night. I tend to work better in the morning.”

You forced the fork to your mouth. You were ravenous but the conversation stalled your appetite.

“I would think that this was considered a late night,” Namjoon pointed out.

The taste, as expected, was heavenly. The creaminess of the parmesan sauce was tied perfectly with the savory crispy prosciutto. In your condition, you felt like it was wasted on you. As hungry as you were, you just wanted to put your fork down and go to sleep. But you couldn’t do that. You were better than that, you could eat something and then you could go to sleep. You could do that, you had done this before. Hadn’t you?

“This isn’t a late night,” you said after you swallowed the delicious bite. You had to eat another one. And another one. “Late nights can be anything from three a.m. to the next morning. This doesn’t happen often but I really had too many things to do. This is just for a few weeks because we’re moving very fast with the Raven Boys and filming for Season 6 of Paper Hearts will start soon. There are a lot of meetings and things they need my opinion on, it will actually be better once filming starts. They don’t need me as much then.”

You pushed the gnocchi around and you could tell they didn’t believe you without looking at them. It was true that your workload was heavier these days but you couldn’t exactly guarantee that it would get better soon. Filming for the Raven Cycle had been going exceptionally well and it was moving faster than you had originally planned. It would be wrapping up by the end of September or by early October at the latest. Wrapping up was a lot of work, the beginning and the end were the busiest parts.

The rest of autumn was going to be very difficult too. There was the premier as well, which added to your workload greatly. It would take up all of November and the work for it would start from October. Maybe December would be calmer. Maybe.

You ate the rest of your meal in relative silence. They didn’t talk more about you leaving early and coming back late although you knew they wanted to. Their voices were quiet as they talked about anything from witches in cartoons to color theory. You let their words play in the background like the sound from a TV as you tried to eat as much as you could.

The result was a half-finished plate of gnocchi and one less garlic bread with mozzarella. Your eyes were closing involuntarily by then, staying closed for longer periods each time. If you didn’t go to sleep now, you would fall face-first into the gnocchi.

You slid off your seat and balanced yourself on numb legs. “Thank you for this, it was delicious. But I really need to go to sleep now.”

“It’s okay,” Seokjin said, glancing at half of the food still on the plate. “You should rest.”

“At what time do you start work tomorrow?” Yoongi asked. He had been silent during your dinner and his voice rang louder than the rest to your ears.

It must have taken a few seconds to navigate the fog in your mind before you could answer. “Filming starts around nine, so I should be there by eight. Half past eight at most.”

“That’s still too early,” Hoseok said, frowning.

You waved their worries off. They had better things to worry about than the job you had been doing for half of your life. “It isn’t too early. I can sleep for a decent number of hours before I have to get ready. It’s alright, really. Goodnight, everyone. Sweet dreams.”

With effort, you dragged your body to your bedroom. You didn’t bother turning on the lights and stumbled to your bed guided only by the moonlight. There wasn’t a point in closing the blinds when you would wake up around the time the sun was rising. The light of your phone was too bright in the darkness and it made your eyes sting as you set an alarm.

A few messages caught your attention but a knock stopped you before you could open them.

“Come in,” you called, setting your phone aside. The door opened and the light from the hallway slipped in, outlining the silhouettes of the two hybrids. “Is everything okay?”

They both nodded and Jimin took a few steps into the room. “Can we sleep here tonight?”

“Both of you?” you asked, half-suppressing a yawn. Unlike Jimin, Jungkook hadn’t slept in your room before and the only time you had shared a bed was in Virginia.

Jungkook’s bunny ears drooped. “I can go, I don’t mind. I just missed you.”

“Sorry, that isn’t how I meant it.” Your surroundings were a bit blurry, the minutes stretched but were also impossibly short. It felt a little like life was a dream when you were tired like this. “Come in, both of you. And close the door behind you. It is blinding me a bit.”

They hurried inside and did as you told them. You couldn’t see them well as they moved through the darkness. They surrounded you, lying on different sides. Jimin didn’t hesitate to draw closer, throwing an arm over your stomach. Jungkook was a little stiffer on your left like he didn’t know how to situate himself. You found his hand, intertwining your fingers, and a quiet sigh escaped his lips.

It felt right, lying between them. Like that was how it was meant to be. But maybe that was the exhaustion talking, the dream realm slipping into the waking world.

“I missed you too,” you whispered. “Now sleep. I have an alarm set for the morning.”

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

Summer bled seamlessly into autumn. The change wasn’t apparent in the Castle, autumn had only arrived in name. The heat was still there and would remain for some time. During the days, it still made sweat drip down your temples the few times you filmed outside the studios but the nights were comfortable and moon-bright.

You had a couple of hours free between takes and nothing to do so you got into your car (John had taken the day off to spend some time with Alice) and started the engine. “Nothing to do” was a relative term of course. There were many things you could be doing, countless extra little tasks that crowded your thoughts, but you disregarded all of them. You had been spending whole days away from home and you were beginning to feel guilty about it.

On your way back, you stopped by your favorite homemade gelato shop. In San Diego, you had gone for gelato the first day and the hybrids had loved it. You had made it a habit to get gelato at the beginning of each day during ComicCon, it was your little ritual. You had ordered gelato a couple of times to the Castle as well but with eight people, it didn’t last more than a day.

There were dozens of flavors behind the display case, all of them looking delectable. You got a wide variety, remembering the flavors they liked the most. You picked hazelnut, tiramisu, chocolate chip cookie, almond, caramel, coconut, cream and sour cherry, nutella, and vanilla and asked for 1 kilo of each to be delivered to your house. It was too hot and your house was too far to transport them in your car.

You didn’t have to wait more than a few minutes outside the gate before the delivery boy arrived. You got the bags full of gelato containers from him and sent him off with a hefty tip. The Castle was a long way from the heart of the city and anyone willing to make deliveries there deserved a nice tip.

Unlocking and opening the door was a struggle but you managed. You shouted you were back and fast-walked down the stairs, the plastic bags digging into your hands. On the second level, you were faced with Jungkook, who was also climbing the stairs to reach you. He looked as if he was ready to attack you with a hug before noticing the bags.

“A little help?” you asked, raising the bags a little higher. Your arms protested loudly.

Jungkook quickly took most of the bags from you and if you hadn’t been the one carrying them before, you would have believed they were light as a feather with the way he was holding them. “What are all these?” he asked, peeking into the bags. His eyes sparkled and his smile widened in realization when he spotted the containers. “Is that–?”

“Gelato,” you said, a little proud of yourself for thinking of making the stop on your way back.

Jungkook’s steps turned into little hops. “You are the best! How much did you get? Are these all different flavors?”

“You will see…”

Jungkook made a sound close to a petulant whine. “Come on,” he said, dragging the vowels. “What are they? Did you get hazelnut?”

“We’re almost there. You’ll see in a minute.” The garden was coming into view as you climbed down to the last level but Jungkook still turned back to pout at you. “Dramatic bunny,” you muttered lowly but not low enough for his enhanced hearing not to pick it up. You didn’t mind, his giggles were cute.

At the bottom of the stairs, Namjoon and Seokjin were waiting for you.

Seokjin squeezed your wrist in greeting before saying, “He is a very dramatic bunny.”

“Hey! You should be on my side!”

Seokjin raised his eyebrows. “And why is that?” And that set off a round of bickering as they walked to the table to set down the bags.

Despite your protests, Namjoon took the last bags from you. “You should accept a little help from time to time,” he said firmly. You knew that he meant it for more than this. You decided to ignore it for now, you would overthink this later.

“Everyone, gather around! I brought gelato!” you called.

In a few minutes, everyone was gathered around the table. Hoseok, upon seeing the many containers of gelato, had done a happy dance, kissed your cheek and ran upstairs with Seokjin to get bowls and spoons. Jimin had wrapped himself around your back and was licking his lips, which was highly distracting. You shouldn’t be thinking about this.

Taehyung was the quietest one, as he usually was. He was sitting next to Yoongi, looking at all the containers with parted lips.

“I got gelato for us,” you told him. “It is really good. I got a lot of flavors so you can try as many as you want.”

“Gelato,” Taehyung repeated softly, gazing at the containers spread over the table.

Hoseok and Seokjin arrived with eight bowls, too many spoons and three ice cream scoops—you didn’t even know you had that many—and set them down around the table. You busied yourself with opening all the containers. You already knew which flavors you wanted so you grabbed one of the scoops and served yourself three scoops of ice cream.

Jimin had hooked his chin over your shoulder and wasn’t making any move to serve himself. That was up to you then.

“Which flavor do you want?” you asked him, dipping the scoop into the cup of water.

He rubbed his cheek against your shoulder lazily. “Hmmm, I think I want to try a few before I decide.”

You decided to indulge him, you liked it when he got playful and joked with you. You preferred when he was confident and asked for what he wanted. It was beautiful to witness how much he had changed through the months. You dipped a spoon into the flavors in your bowl first and brought them to his mouth. He savored each spoonful, humming and licking his full lips. He was so close to you, if you turned completely your noses would touch. How did you always end up in these situations lately?

“I want that too,” Jungkook said, pouting and pointing at your spoon. He was sitting at the bench and he had his own bowl in front of him, filled with four scoops of gelato.

“You want almond?” you asked.

“No, I want to be fed too.”

“You really are a baby,” Seokjin said. “Is that what’s going to be happening now? Whatever one has the other wants too?”

Jungkook looked away, taking his spoon again disappointed. “No, it just looked nice. It felt nice to be cared for when we were at the lake. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. I just wanted to ask.”

At the lake, you had been feeding them strawberries dipped in chocolate and your mind had run too wild. You should stop thinking about that. “I want to, you are just a little far. I can’t really reach.”

Jimin was about to say something, probably offer a solution but before he could, Seokjin had picked up Jungkook and plopped him down in his lap.

“Here, I will feed you, you big baby. Is this alright?” he asked, ever caring.

Jungkook squirmed a little but seemed pleased, a light flush settling on his cheeks. “Yes, of course.” He was as tall as Seokjin but in his lap, he looked much smaller. He opened his mouth obediently when Seokjin brought the spoon to his lips.

Your eyes strayed to Taehyung, you were hyper-aware of him whenever you were in the same place. His eyes had that look that you couldn’t understand, it was there every time you interacted with the other hybrids lately. They were telling you that he was opening up more these days but to you, he remained a mystery.

In the end, Jimin ate most of your gelato and you scooped some chocolate chip cookie into your bowl because you knew how much he liked it. Hoseok and Namjoon closed the containers and carried them upstairs, they returned and went to sit by the pool. Yoongi finished quickly and lied down under the shade of the tree closest to them. Jungkook grew sleepy and turned to the side, laying his head on Seokjin’s shoulder. Jimin joined them, hugging Jungkook from the side.

Taehyung stayed at the bench like he wasn’t sure where he should go, his empty bowl in front of him.

“Did you like it?” you asked, gesturing to his bowl. Another reminder of your shortcomings, you didn’t even know how much he had progressed in English.

“Yes, thank you,” he replied. The low timbre of his voice surprised you each time. You heard it so rarely that you didn’t get the chance to get used to it.

You should make an effort to talk to him, avoiding him would only make matters worse. But you couldn’t find anything to say. What exactly could you say to him, who had lived most of his life like a caged animal, who you had bought at an illegal auction?

Suddenly, you had the equivalent of a light bulb lighting up next to your head in a cartoon.

“Hobi told me you liked the painting of the pomegranate in the gallery,” you said then realized that pomegranate was probably a word he couldn’t understand and proceeded to explain the painting. “It has glass around it and a hand is holding it. Am I making sense?”

Seokjin looked at you amused but Taehyung nodded in understanding. “It is beautiful.”

“Right, it is,” you agreed. “The artist, the one who made it, is holding an exhibition in LA. We could go if you would like.”

You had bought the painting from her long before her fame had grown and spread. There was a magic to the way Eliana Velasco painted, everything came alive under her brush strokes. The painting of the pomegranate had enchanted you and given your history, you had to have it.

“Go?” he repeated, clearly confused.

“Yeah, to a place that has many of her paintings. You can see them there. Would you like that?” Talking to him, you were more nervous than at any of the award shows you had attended the past few years, more nervous than during any contract negotiations.

Taehyung’s eyes widened a fraction before he nodded. “Can I… see them?”

“Of course,” you said.

Jungkook stirred against Seokjin’s shoulder. “Are we going to an exhibition?”

“If you want to.”

“Are you going to be there too?” he asked and that was harder to answer. Your schedule was the busiest it had been in months and you were drowning in deadlines and responsibilities. You were saved from answering him by a notification on your phone. The numbers displaying the time showed that you were late to leave. You pocketed your phone and with quick goodbyes, you disappeared.

 You were so stupid. You had offered to take Taehyung to an exhibition when work was wrapped around you like a noose. But you had panicked. Eliana had sent you an invitation for the opening night, promising there would be French champagne and hors d’ oeuvres. You had attended plenty of her exhibitions and had many conversations about art and life and their inter-connected philosophy while drinking champagne or wine and staring at paintings.

Although Taehyung’s situation was solved and Amelia had let you know some time ago that legally you were safe, going to the opening night didn’t sound like a good idea. There would be many journalists there who would love to write a piece about you and your sudden decision to adopt so many hybrids. They could go without you another day, that wouldn’t be too bad. Taehyung looked so hopeful and now that you had said it, you couldn’t take it back. You could text Eliana and ask her if she could meet you there one day so you could introduce her to them.

You should try and get some time off.

♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩

It was like a curse, to not be able to sleep in the very few hours you could afford to. Your bed was empty and cold and you couldn’t get comfortable regardless of how much you twisted and turned. Your limbs were too long and awkward and nothing felt right. All the wild thoughts you couldn’t be bothered with during the day showed up one after the other to be examined from every angle and set aside to pick up the next one. It was a losing battle and yet you insisted on fighting it every time before giving in, getting up and popping a pill into your mouth.

You returned the bottle to the cabinet and closed it. After Seoul, for some time it had returned to your bedside table but after a couple of weeks had passed it felt like you were admitting defeat by keeping it there. The image in the mirror was a far cry from the celebrity you were supposed to be. The darkness under your eyes formed bruises, getting worse by the day. Your skin had grown pale and your hair was a mess, you hadn’t had enough strength to braid it before attempting to fall asleep.

You considered going back to bed but the pills could take up to an hour to work when your insomnia reached its peak and you were craving a snack. Something small and sweet sounded nice.

Once again, you had returned late and eaten dinner alone. Your appetite was lacking although the food was delicious. Sometimes, it got like that when you were too tired. You had promised yourself to limit early mornings and late nights but that had changed when you had texted Eliana about the exhibition. She had offered to accompany you to the exhibition on one of the days it was closed to the public and you were more than thankful to her but that also meant that you would have to take half the day off.

The TV was on in the living room, subtitles displayed at the bottom of the screen with no sound. Namjoon was sitting on the couch, arms crossed and watching with distracted eyes. Everyone else had departed to their rooms for the night. His ears twitched as you took a few more steps and he turned to look at you.

You waved your hand, trying to offer him a smile. “Hey.”

He sat up straighter. “Hi. Why are you still awake? Do you need something?”

“Just some water. Maybe a snack.”

“You were really tired when you went to bed. Did you not fall asleep?” he asked, frowning.

You shrugged. “I couldn’t. It’s one of those nights. If I eat something, maybe I will fall asleep easier. A full stomach and all that.” You didn’t mention the pill, it was awkward to do that. “Don’t let me disturb you. I’ll just grab something and go back to bed.”

Namjoon got up and in a few strides, he was standing in front of you. He caressed your cheek, searching for something in your eyes. You weren’t sure what he could see there. “I’ll join you. Let’s sit together for a bit. I haven’t seen you properly in a few days.”

“But you must have stayed back to watch that,” you said. A documentary was playing on the TV, something about Egyptian history.

“It doesn’t matter. I would rather spend my time with you. Unless you don’t want to, then I’ll go back to the couch and be very quiet.”

You slid your hand in his, the touch grounding you in a night that felt both like you were wide awake and caught in a blurry dream. “I would like some company. I’ve missed you too. I’m–”

“Don’t say you’re sorry. There is no need for that.”

He leaned down, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead. His lips lingered for a few moments, warmth spreading inside you. You raised your head and captured his lips in a kiss. The worst part was that you couldn’t remember how long it had been since you had last shared a kiss. His lips were velvet as you remembered them. This was home. Running back and forth, you had forgotten what it felt like.

You pulled back and grabbed his hand. “Let’s go.”

In the kitchen, Namjoon stood next to you as you rummaged through the cupboards for something that looked appetizing to you. The cupboards were full and yet nothing was calling to you until Namjoon remembered that Seokjin had made ice cream sandwiches with the gelato you had bought and various kinds of cookies. That sounded like heaven so you opened the freezer and chose two of them.

You leaned against the counter, shoulder to shoulder with Namjoon, while you devoured them. Gelato might not have been the best idea to put you to sleep but they tasted heavenly. The pill would start working sooner or later.

“Is it worse today?” he asked. He didn’t elaborate further, he didn’t have to.

The ice cream sandwiches were gone and you were left holding the plate. You licked your fingers and placed it in the sink. “I have a lot of things on my mind. I should be too tired to think but apparently, I’m never too tired for that.”

“Anything in particular?”

“Everything, more or less.” You turned to the side, facing him. “There’s too much to think about and not enough time. Never enough time,” you muttered the last sentence to yourself. If you had all the time in the world it would still not be enough, you would find a way to fill it. “I’ve been putting everything off. Everything I don’t want to deal with or I don’t know how to deal with. And the longer I put it off, the worse it gets.”

He was quiet for a few seconds, taking in what you said and pondering how to reply. It was beautiful, how his mind worked and how attentive he was. “If there is any way we can help you, anything I–we can do, we will. Whatever you want to do, we will support you. Sometimes, in our head, we can make things look bigger, more scary than they are. Do you want to talk about them? Maybe if you talk about what you have to do or what you’re worried about, it will be easier to work out the best way to approach them.”

That was something your therapist used to tell you, that while things festered in your head, they would only get more tangled and more daunting. She had suggested writing them down or talking to her about them. She was right, you knew she was right and that it helped and yet you hadn’t stopped to do that.

You took a deep breath, debating if it would be better to find a notebook and figure out your mess on paper instead of dragging Namjoon into it. But there was a part of you that itched to confide in him and give in to the way you felt safe when you were together. 

“I don’t even know where to start,” you confessed.

You started slowly, with your usual worries about Taehyung, how he was adjusting and how little time you were spending with him and if that was for the best. It was the same old spiralling, you had poked and prodded at it so many times and Namjoon must have been bored of listening to the same rehashed concerns, yet he didn’t interrupt you. You unravelled steadily, once you started speaking, you couldn’t stop. There was the filming for the Raven Cycle, the final touches of Six of Crows, the premiere and the weeks of promotions and the anticipation for the reviews of the critics and the audiences. The book you hadn’t finished and the deadline you couldn’t meet.

You rubbed your hands over your face. It had been so long since most of those problems had surfaced and you were ashamed that you hadn’t faced them yet. “And we haven’t told anyone about us. We said we would and I know you’re waiting for me but I’m never here. And I don’t know how.”

Namjoon caught your hand and brought it to his lips. Lowering it, his thumb rubbed soothing circles on your skin. “It doesn’t have to be complicated. They will understand and they will be happy for us. You shouldn’t let this keep you awake, everything will be alright. They are our pack, this won’t change anything.”

“But…” The anxiety that persisted. “Yoongi. What if his reaction is… bad. You know what he said.”

“That was before.” He sounded sure but there was a tightness at his jaw. “It is different now. He is different, you can see it. He is softer around the edges, he even helps Jin in the kitchen. He’s settling in.”

 “Because he doesn’t know,” you said. “You remember what he said, right? That night? That I adopted you so I could take my pick and now there is Jin and it’s just too much like that, can’t you see it?”

“It’s nothing like that. We both–” Namjoon stiffened, his gaze locking somewhere towards the entrance. “Yoongi?”

Your heart rate sped up, a knot forming in your chest. Yoongi walked in, his socked feet not making a sound. How much had he heard? The last minutes of the conversation replayed in your mind in a panicked mess. What had you said? How long had he been there, listening to you, before Namjoon noticed him? What conclusions would he reach?

Instinctively, you tried to get away from Namjoon but his hold on your hand kept you there.

The panther’s face didn’t give anything away. You couldn’t read him regardless of how much you studied him. You didn’t know his tells, if he had any. His expression was a carefully curated mask of apathy and you couldn’t see past it. Or you didn’t dare to try. Maybe you were too afraid of what you would find.

“How did you know it was me?” he asked, voice missing some of its smoothness.

Namjoon held your hand tighter. “You are the only one who can sneak up on me.”

You swallowed down your anxiety and tried to think of him the way he was the past few months, when he helped you with rearranging your office, him playing the piano in the afternoons, your walk at the lake, the vague memory of him helping you up to your room when you were drunk in Virginia. But they were all pushed back by the memory of his snarl and his sharp teeth that night.

“How much did you hear?” you asked, forcing your voice to be steady. He was going to learn of it at some point and as scared as you were, you had to face this.

“Enough.” His tail curled behind him and stilled. “You are afraid of my reaction to something. Is that it?”

Your eyes locked with Namjoon’s and he nodded. This time you weren’t going to run. This time would be different. “Yes, there is something we wanted to tell you. Something we wanted to tell everyone. I didn’t know how to tell you, that’s all.”

“You can tell me now,” he said and it sounded almost like a dare. You weren’t sure if you were walking into a trap.

Namjoon spoke up before you could. “You remember that the two of us are… We are together, as humans would say, romantically.” Yoongi nodded. You couldn’t imagine how he could forget. “That extends to Jin now. We love him and he loves us.” It was almost like he was challenging him to say anything but Yoongi was quiet.

“We didn’t know how to tell everyone. And you…” You didn’t know how to finish.

He scoffed. “I was an asshole.” One side of his lips was twisted up but something about it hurt. “You didn’t want to tell me because I was an asshole when I found out about you two. Worse than an asshole.” He dropped his gaze to the floor, his shoulders were slumped as if in defeat. For a moment, you wished to reassure him but what he was saying was the truth. “I understand. I’m not– I’m happy for you. And I’m sorry.”

He turned to leave but, through your confusion, you knew you didn’t want him to go.

“Wait,” you called. He stopped but didn’t turn around. “Let’s talk. We need to talk.”

Yoongi looked at you over his shoulder. This time, you studied him without your heavy-duty lenses, without the fear of discovery. Like the expression of an actor, you picked apart the tiniest details to paint a picture. When your own barriers were gone, it was easier to see.

“What is there to talk about?” he asked.

“A lot. Things we should have talked about sooner.” Communication was a golden rule in your handbook and you used to be good at it, you tried to be good at it. The misunderstanding trope was overused and useless when the issue could be resolved with a simple conversation.

It was about time you stopped walking on eggshells.

“We never truly talked about it,” you started. “And I didn’t really want to because things were going so well. They are going well. But you are my family now.” His lips parted, only slightly but you caught it. “I can’t know how all of you see it, if it’s the same for you, but that’s the way I feel. And I want to be honest with you. I still think about what you said in the garden and sometimes it affects me more than I would like. However, I would like to put it behind us but I want to know what you think.”

His eyes were sharp but you weren’t fooled this time. “Can we? Can we really put it behind us?”

 Namjoon was silent next to you, he was letting you handle it.

“I think we are already beginning to.” You took a deep breath in preparation. There was a question that could make or break this peace between you and you were both dreading and dying to ask. “Do you think that I’m taking advantage of them because I love them romantically?”

His eyes widened. “No,” he denied sharply. “No, of course I don’t.”

It was like a knot unravelling in your heart. Although there was a part of you that had known, the relief was still there. “Then we can move past it. We can try again. We are already trying again.”

“How?” Yoongi asked and he sounded smaller, much smaller than you were used to.

The pills were beginning to act, it was a light drowsiness at first. You had to do this quickly before you fell asleep and crumbled down on the floor.

“The same way we are doing now. By doing our best.”

“I am trying” His hands clenched into fists and loosened again. “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“You don’t need to be. Not anymore. As long as I know that we are fine.” Your eyes were growing heavier and the fog was slipping in. “I think we should go to bed now,” you said. It was getting more and more difficult to open your eyes.

You must have stumbled or something because you heard Yoongi ask, “Are you alright?” at the same time as Namjoon’s “Do you want help?”

You waved them both off. “I’m fine. It’s the pills.” It was easier to admit when you were almost asleep. One moment your feet were on the floor and the next you were up in the air. “Joon?”

“I’m taking you to your room. It’s time for sleep.” One of his arms was under your knees and the other was holding you close to his body.

“Namjoon, I can walk,” you protested weakly. Namjoon shushed you and you let it go. You were so incredibly sleepy and you were safe there. You relaxed in his arms and finally closed your eyes.

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Most of the flowers were drooping in the garden of the Castle. Namjoon and Jimin were attempting to keep them alive for as long as possible before fall swept them away. They cut off the dead leaves, watered the plants and applied the appropriate fertilisers. There were also varieties that lasted all year and the gardener had taught them how to take care of them too.

“These won’t last much longer,” Jimin said, running his fingers gently over the petals of a slowly wilting flower.

“They will bloom again in spring,” Namjoon reassured him. “Each season has its beauty and these belong to spring and summer. Autumn has its own colors too but they are different.”

Jimin pulled his hand back and grabbed the watering can. “I know, but I will miss them.”

Namjoon patted his head and Jimin preened under his touch, chasing his hand. He was too cute sometimes and Namjoon adored him. “It’s okay to miss it but you can also be happy about the new things that are coming. Miss Roberts said she will bring sunflowers and hydrangeas to plant next week, it will add some color. When something ends, something else begins.”

Jimin giggled, watering the flowers although they would be dead next week. “Nora has told you many times to call her by her name.”

Namjoon rubbed the back of his head. “I forgot. I’m trying.”

Yoongi came out of the house, a book in his hand. He had been visiting the library more lately. Namjoon had been wondering where he had been. The rest of the pack had holed up in the cinema room to watch a comedy and, like the two of them, Yoongi had opted out but they hadn’t seen him since.

“Yoongi!” Jimin called, waving with the hand that wasn’t holding the watering can. “Come here. Sit with us, we are almost done.”

Yoongi paused, glancing at the table and benches on the other side of the garden.

“Come on,” Namjoon called for him as well. That was enough to sway Yoongi’s decision, who made his way to them.

Jimin bounced up to him, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the flower bushes they were tending to. Yoongi grumbled about the rough treatment but Namjoon wasn’t fooled, the upturn of his lips was small but unmistakable.

Jimin explained to him what they had been doing so far and Yoongi listened to him attentively.

“They are beautiful. You have been doing a really good job. Both of you,” he said, his eyes darting to Namjoon.

He was tense, it wasn’t obvious but Namjoon could pick it up. He gave him a smile, hoping he would relax. Yoongi confused him but he thought he could understand him a little better now. “Thank you. What are you reading?”

“Oh, this?” Yoongi raised the book a little and shrugged. “I saw it and I thought it was interesting.”

“I haven’t seen that before,” Namjoon said.

The cover was painted in shades of yellow and orange, framing two pyramids. Without saying anything, Yoongi handed him the book. It was called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and it was a relatively short book. He turned it around to look at the synopsis and Jimin peeked at it over his shoulder. Namjoon wondered if you had read it or if it had been sitting there unread on your shelves for years. There were so many books in your library and you had admitted that you hadn’t read most of them, but you had also told them that once upon a time you used to read a hundred books a year.

“It does sound interesting,” Namjoon commented, passing back the book. “You should tell me if it is any good when you finish it.”

Yoongi looked down at the book’s cover. “I will.”

Jimin declared that they were done with gardening for the day and grabbed both of their hands, pulling them to the shade underneath one of the trees. They sat down and he situated himself with his head in Namjoon’s lap and his legs in Yoongi’s. Yoongi cracked open his book and began to read while Jimin talked about flowers.

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“And… CUT!” you called. It was repeated again by Will and the actors relaxed, the expressions of their characters wiped clean. “That will be it for today. Thank you everyone!”

The crew buzzed as the cameras and the sound systems were turned off. People were talking to their earpieces and others were giving pats on the back to each other for another successful day on set. Crew members passed by and offered their congratulations to you.

“What are you rushing for?” Will asked.

You continued throwing everything carelessly into your backpack. “I’m visiting the gallery today, remember?”

“Right, that’s today,” he said, snapping his fingers. Some things stuck with you in entertainment. For example, the overexaggerated gestures. “I thought you had a company meeting dressed like this. A very important one.”

In the morning, you had put more thought into your outfit compared to a simple filming day. You were wearing tan trousers and a form-fitting black top embellished by a crossover belt that wrapped around the body and was tied together with a golden Medusa head emblem. The heels, the golden earrings, bracelets, and rings confirmed that filming wasn’t the only thing on your schedule.

You slung your backpack over your shoulder (you would switch it later with a black Dior bag you had in your car). “No meetings for me today. I really have to go. I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”

“Have a good time, boss!”

You greeted any familiar faces on your way to your car and sent a quick message to Namjoon that you would be picking them up soon. The 8-seater car was an impulse purchase at a time when you had a larger friend group. You hadn’t used it much, only for a couple of short trips to private beaches.

You checked your appearance in the visor mirror and reapplied some powder and lipstick. You looked good enough, there wasn’t much more you could do.

The hybrids were waiting by the fountain. They had dressed nicely for the occasion, wearing some of the more formal outfits you had bought for them. You could feel the excitement in the air as they climbed into the car. It had been a long time since you had gone to the city like this. Jimin was quick to slide into the passenger seat, followed by a little happy dance at his success.

The exhibition was taking place in Central Los Angeles, housed in a tall and wide building that appeared to be made up of several cubes that jutted out of the main structure. Jungkook and Hoseok had their phones out, taking photos of the strange building. Distantly, you remembered coming here before but you couldn’t place when or why.

Eliana was waiting for you inside wearing a simple flowing blue dress and a large smile. You greeted each other with a hug and proceeded to introduce the boys to her. She shook their hands enthusiastically and in a few seconds she had already engaged them in a conversation about art. Usually, she talked quickly like she was rushing to get everything out before she forgot but she was talking slowly now, using simpler words and waiting for Hoseok to translate whenever he deemed he should.

She guided you through the gallery, floating ahead of you. She gave explanations of some of her works while she let others speak for themselves. Taehyung’s eyes were sparkling while she talked, in a way you had never seen before. His smile stayed on during your whole visit, big and boxy, and you finally felt like you were doing something right.

The other hybrids seemed to be enjoying themselves as well. Namjoon was asking plenty of questions about the meaning behind the paintings and her inspiration and Jungkook was very interested in the more technical aspect of her work. She readily answered all of their questions and when you pointed out that Jungkook spent a lot of his time painting, she encouraged him to show her some of his work. Although he was shy, hiding behind his floppy ears at first, Eliana managed to convince him to show her a few of the paintings he had on his phone. She was stunned when you told her he had only been painting for a few months and Jungkook grew even shier when she showered him in compliments.

At the end of the tour, she let you wander the gallery by yourselves for some time and then suggested going to the gallery’s gardens to hang out. The gardens were of considerable size, about as large as the inside of the gallery. Neatly trimmed flower bushes lined the pathways and plenty of modern sculptures decorated the space. A large fountain stood proudly in the middle and there was an artfully made gazebo raised on a platform at a far corner, overlooking the gardens.

You offered to go get some coffee and some baked goods from a nearby bakery/coffee shop you had found on the internet. Eliana protested at first but she gave in quickly at the promise of an iced Spanish latte and muffins. Namjoon volunteered to accompany you, although what surprised you was Yoongi offering to come along.

“You need more than two people to carry everything,” was the only explanation you got. You couldn’t deny that he was right.

He hadn’t been acting any different towards you since you had let him know about the nature of your relationship with Seokjin, so you acted the same way you always did too. His quiet acceptance was more than enough for you and it was a great weight off your shoulders.

You were talking about the exhibition, not surprised that Yoongi had been paying close attention to the paintings as he recalled his favorites, when a call of your name surprised you. The voice was familiar and, for a few seconds, you couldn’t place it. Until you could. And the peace froze over.

You turned around to find Jacob waving at you in the quiet street. His hair was cut much shorter than the last time you had seen him and his white loose pants and half-unbuttoned shirt made him look like he had just stepped off a yacht party. Maybe he had. His thousand-watt smile, reminiscent of a politician, was fixed firmly on his face.

“Hey, I knew it was you,” he said when he caught up with you, like he had won a prize. He pulled you into a quick hug and you didn’t know what to do with your hands until he let you go. “Haven’t seen you in ages.”

You wiped invisible dust from your trousers. “Yeah, I’ve been very busy.”

“You were never  one for rest, right? The woman always running, always working, never has time for anything else,” he joked and it shouldn’t bother you the way it did. He gestured to Yoongi and Namjoon, “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”

Namjoon looked politely curious and Yoongi downright uninterested.

“Right,” you said. “This is Yoongi and Namjoon. And this is Jacob.”

Their eyes sharpened the moment you uttered the name.

“I’m just Jacob now?” he asked, eyebrows raised. “After three years? Not even a friend?”

“I don’t know. It isn’t like we’ve spoken since last year.”

Initially after your breakup, you used to imagine how your next meeting would go and how the two of you would act around each other. Three years was a long time to share your life with someone to then go back to being strangers. You hadn’t entertained the idea much since then, you had found yourself thinking about him less and less. Still, whenever you thought about meeting him, you hadn’t anticipated the bitterness that grazed your insides.

Jacob chuckled awkwardly. “Well, you said you were busy. I have been busy as well, I’m working with a few very big names, you know. I got my hands on some of the best songs of the year.”

“I’m sure they’re great.”

“Haven’t you listened to any of them? You must have heard a few of them. They were everywhere.” Jacob was talented enough and well-connected and he sure liked to brag about it. “I asked Zayn and he said you were doing well, working of course. And you got yourself some company too.”

You clenched your jaw to bite back the harshness burning on the tip of your tongue. You hated the way he said it and the way it reminded you of your mother.

“It was a bit of a surprise, I’ll admit. I don’t remember you ever talking about adopting, you didn’t seem a big fan of the idea. No offense of course,” he directed the last part to Namjoon and Yoongi.

“Things change,” you said dismissively. “We have to go. There are people waiting for us.”

Jacob’s smile didn’t falter but his eyes narrowed a fraction for only a second. He may only be part of your past but you could still read him well. Was it the same for him? Had he ever been able to read you in the first place?

“Of course,” he said. “I’ll see you around.”

“Sure.”

You turned around and started walking, Namjoon and Yoongi following you. Last year you loved him enough to move in with him and this year you couldn’t stand to be in his presence. You thought you would feel nothing when you’d see him again but the truth was that everything about him irritated you. His poised smile, his bragging, his nonchalance.

Why was he able to get under your skin like this? You were over him, you didn’t want anything to do with him. But you were supposed to be civil, uninterested like the heroines who didn’t raise more than an eyebrow in the direction of their exes. It irked you and the way he looked at Namjoon and Yoongi irked you more. You had defended him to everyone, he wasn’t a bad guy, he didn’t treat you badly but as time passed you were starting to realize some things you couldn’t see clearly before.

Yoongi was the first one to speak up when you had almost reached the coffee shop, “What an asshole.”

“He isn’t–” You stopped yourself and laughed. “You know what? He is, a little bit.”

“A little bit?” he repeated, doubtfully.

“I don’t want to judge but…” The way Namjoon paused told you everything you needed to know. “I had to try very hard to stop myself from growling at him.”

Yoongi smirked. “Down, wolf.” Namjoon ignored him.

“Thank you for not doing that, that wouldn’t have ended well. Please, don’t growl at people.”

“I don’t know if I can promise that.”

Well, you couldn’t say that you minded that much. You could admit to yourself that Namjoon growling was kind of hot. And if the situation called for it…

“I didn’t like the way he spoke to you,” Namjoon said. “It was weird. There was something about it that was wrong, almost demeaning.”

“He can be like that sometimes. Like he is above almost everyone else, like some things are beneath him. He would make those stupid comments and I would always try to ignore them,” He was always supportive of your career and proud of your success but he had never shown interest in any of your other hobbies and likes. Reading was boring, paintings were overrated and overpriced, drinking tea was pretentious. “I never thought I would be one of those shit-talking their exes unless they did something really bad.”

“I support this shit-talking,” Namjoon said.

“I do too,” Yoongi agreed.

It made a strangely pleasant feeling run up your spine. “We’re here,” you said, instead of continuing the conversation. According to Google Maps, you had arrived at the coffee shop.

As you walked inside, you might have heard Yoongi saying lowly to Namjoon, “I kind of wanted to punch him.”

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You were sitting on the chair in front of your vanity, braiding your hair and stuck thinking of the same scene. Before going to his room for the night, Taehyung had approached you and thanked you for taking him to the exhibition. His expression was sincere and you finally felt like you were moving in the right direction. 

When there was a knock at your door, you already knew who it was before you called for them to come in.

“Can we sleep here tonight?” Jimin asked, Jungkook draped over his back.

“When have I ever told you no?” you asked, finishing your braid and securing it in place with a silky scrunchy. “Go on.”

They both hopped on the bed, bouncing a little and sharing delightful smiles. You watched them through the mirror as they rolled around, holding each other.

Jimin looked up from where he was tangled with Jungkook, holding your gaze through his reflection. “Are you coming?”

“I am, I am,” you said, putting your brush back in the drawer.

You joined them on the bed, their hands quickly reaching for you and situating you between them like the last time. Jimin purred in contentment, rubbing his face in your collarbones. Jungkook held onto your arm and you could feel his breath caressing your neck with how close he was lying. 

An unwanted echo of what Jacob had said entered your mind.  Always working, never having time for anything else or anyone else, even the ones most important to you. You were gone most of the days and it made sense that they wanted to be close to you at least at night.

“Did you have fun today?” you asked them to distract yourself. 

“I loved it! Eliana was so nice and her paintings were incredible,” Jimin said.  “I took so many photos, my phone must be full of them.”

Jungkook nuzzled up closer to you. “I took many photos too. Can we print the one we took of us all together? I want to put it in our room.”

“Yes, please,” Jimin added cutely.

“Of course. You should print a couple more too, if you want, and choose some pretty frames for them. There is a lot of free space in your room.”

They cheered a little. You lied there in comfortable silence but you could detect a nervous energy in the air. It was in the way Jimin was fidgeting with the hem of your silk night shirt and how tightly Jungkook was gripping your arm. You waited until they were ready.

“We actually… we have something to tell you,” Jimin said.

“Anything you want, kitten,” you said, running your fingers through his hair. You could see how the use of the nickname affected him, squirming a little as his smile grew sweeter. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“I just–” He looked at Jungkook, who gave him an encouraging nod. “I kissed him, we kissed. And… it makes me very happy.”

Jungkook caught Jimin’s hand that was pulling at your shirt and intertwined their fingers, laying their joint hands on your stomach. “He makes me very happy too,” he said in a small voice.

The new knowledge was like a puzzle piece sliding into place. It felt natural to you that their relationship would progress like that. The way they looked at each other, the way they touched each other, was evidence of a deeply intimate connection. If the image your mind conjured of them kissing lit a spark in your chest, you hid it even from yourself.

“Thank you for telling me. If it makes you happy, then I am happy too. All I want for you is to be happy and know how loved you are. Come here.” You pulled them closer and placed lingering kisses on their foreheads. “I will always support you. Always.” You took a decision then. You couldn’t put it off any longer. “I have something to tell you too. Jimin already knows but Jungkook, I would like for you to know too. I don’t know how to say this exactly and I’m sorry we’ve kept this from you but I, Namjoon and Jin have been romantically involved. All of us. We have been kissing too.”

“Oh.” Jungkook paused. “That makes sense.” You couldn’t help but laugh at that, Jimin joining you. “I mean you’re very close and it just makes sense. We’re pack and I think that most packs are a little in love with each other, in one way or another,” he said. His cheeks felt hot against your shoulder.

In one way or another. He was right, it was such a special bond and you could imagine that for hybrids who felt the sense of pack deeper, the lines were easily blurred. A door opened in your mind but you closed it again forcefully.

Jimin fit his face in the crook of your neck. “I love you. I love you so much, all of you. Our pack. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you. I don’t know if I deserve this.” His voice was wet.

“You do,” you stated. “You deserve everything and more. And we love you so much. So much.”

Jungkook squeezed his hand. “We love you, Jiminie. Our pack wouldn’t be complete without you. We need you to be whole. We need everyone.”

Their hands remained linked over your abdomen as you fell asleep.

Please comment and reblog it motivates me to keep writing