Sad - Tumblr Posts - Page 2
"You lead me on. Through every word, every single text, you romanticized the idea of our friendship. You slowly gained my trust even after years of me not trusting people. I even said I'd take a bullet for you. You told me you'd stay, unlike the others. You told me you'd stay. You told me you'd stay. And I believed you.
And then you left.
Breaking every word that you ever said to me."
- Dreaming of Wolves // Spilled
For you, J
I don’t know why I’ve allowed myself to think about you so much for so long.
I feel pathetic and stupid and starkery.
I hate what I’m doing to myself
I hate that I’ve compared so many people to you
I hate that I feel like I annoy you.
I hate that I thought we could maybe be together but it’s dumb.
I hate that I’m so sad but I have no reason to be sad.
I hate that I have created cathedrals in my mind for you, even after I said I’ll stop.
I hated that when I told you I did, you didn’t understand what I meant.
I hate that only time you ever told me you loved me was when I was sitting on your lap in your car at four in the morning and you didn’t mean it. I’ll say it now though.
I love you.
I hate that I didn’t say it back, even if I wouldn’t have been able to really mean it, but at least I would have meant it more than you.
And I hate that I’ve lost my biggest fantasy.
You have someone new but even if it lasts till tomorrow, I know I still shouldn't try to get you back.
You’ll never read this and I’m glad.
So, my somewhat ex-lover
This is me, signing off.
They looked at their Jedi General. She couldn't have been more than 18. Her long brown curls fell down her back and over her shoulder, they could see the tears in her eyes as she read out the names of their fallen brothers. She handed the sergeants of the fallen a letter. In this letter she had wrote down at least one good memory she had of the fallen. She was unlike any Jedi they had seen. She cared for them in a way they didn't understand, she mourned for the men she lost.
Eria started to address them. "I am so sorry men. If I had only been a little bit faster, a little bit stronger. Maybe they would have survived. I'm sorry." Her voice cracked and she stopped a moment to regain her composer. "We fight for thoes who died for us. We fight so one day we will have to fight no more. I'm sure they are in a better place looking over us protecting us! We can mourn and cry but we can not lose sight of what we are fighting for! Are we going to let their deaths be in vain?" By this point her voice was loud and strong, all the times they had done this nothing like this had ever happened. But nevertheless they all shouted in unison, "No ma'am!"
She smiled at this. "Very good men. You are dismissed. Headshot can I see you?" Headshot walks up to her, "General Serenity?"
"I'm so sorry. All your batchmates didn't make it. So I made this one for espically for you. I'm so sorry. I should have been faster or stronger. I'm a failure."
"No your not General. You are the most kind, caring, and compassionate Jedi I have ever meet. And work your ass off to keep us all safe and we all thank you for that."
She just smiles lightly at him and whispers thank you. Before walking off to her quaters. As she walks in she looks in the mirror and hates what she sees. Unlike the other Jedi she wasn't thin. Her thighs where thick and she had a pudgy belly. She hated it. It made her feel like she couldn't protect her men. It made her feel helpless as she was surrounded by ripped people. Why couldn't she be like them? She started to cry as she walked away from the mirror.
She walked over to the bed and flopped on it. She looked at her walls. They where covered in letters, letters she couldn't give to a sargent or batchmates. She started to cry.
Adrienne Shelly in Trust (1990)
From “firefight” chapter 13 by @remedyturtles
He’s a goner
I COULDN'T MAKE IT TO A PLAY THAT I REALLY WANTED TO DO!!! I WANTED TO BE A WOLF TOO!!!!
My Mom had a Stroke, but she's ok. It affected her vision and balance badly.
Update: She has to have an eye patch for her vision problems.
My Mom had a Stroke, but she's ok. It affected her vision and balance badly.