Stop Being Ableist - Tumblr Posts

Another thing regarding ableism and what not let disabled people be bitter, be depressed, be upset, etc that we have to live with the shit we do don’t say “it’ll get better” or constantly say “you should just look on the bright side” or whatever the fuck they always say about how we should be happy. We are not here to make you feel better. We are not here to be your “inspiration”. We are not here for you to feel better about yourself. We are not here for you to tell us how we should behave/feel. Let us be human

Why do abled people always fucking suggest the most basic things to “fix” disabled people’s problems/disabilities and act like they know better than we do???

If you, a person who does not live with the disability you’re trying to “fix”, can think of a solution off the top of your head without any research, experience, or even trying to actually understand what we have tried and what we’re actually dealing with don’t you think that we might’ve already or are already trying that???

For me this comes most from my mother saying that I need to change my diet (even though I have so many sensory issues surrounding food and have tried and failed so many times), that I need to lose weight (ma’am I am trying), that I should try stretching (you know what I’ve tried that for years and guess what it just stretches my ligaments because I’m fucking hypermobile and it ends up causes me more pain), that I need to exercise more (I’m trying but I’m also limited by pain. Pain that keeps me from being able to exercise most of the time. Pain that usually gets worse when I try to exercise), that I should try to not use my mobility aids because I’ll become reliant on them (ma’am they help me. They are not hurting me. They are what keeps me able to do stuff you want me to be able to do. Why should I try to not use them???), and so much fucking more

Like seriously abled people stop pretending you know our bodies better than we do I promise you you don’t. Even doctors (as shit as they might be) are supposed to listen to us before they even start to make recommendations (yeah many don’t but they’re supposed to)

I absolutely fucking hate it when my parents or anyone is like “we’re just trying to help you” when in reality they’re just telling me shit I already know or are just straight up being ableist

I don’t need other people to tell me that the amount of pain I’m in isn’t normal.

I don’t need other people to tell me that I should lose weight.

I don’t need other people to tell me shit I already know about my own goddamn body.

I don’t need other people thinking they know my body better than I do.

I don’t need lectures on how using my mobility aids will hurt me in the long run. Like um excuse me these are keeping me from constant injuries and even more severe pain.

I don’t need other people to tell me I sleep too much. I fucking know that. I’m exhausted all the time and the only way to fix that is to sleep also get this I don’t feel my pain when I’m sleeping

I don’t need other people to tell me to exercise. Believe me I’m trying it just hurts too fucking much to do it regularly.

All I fucking did was tell my parents I’ve been dizzy all day because my heart rate has been up all day (thanks POTS) and they both fucking both start “talking” to me (really lecturing me) about all the shit I need to change and all the shit that they’re not comfortable with. What the fuck do you mean dad that you’re not comfortable with me being in pain??? And when I tell you that I use mobility aids to help alleviate that pain you say you’re not comfortable with that either. Who the fuck said you get to determine what’s best for me based on what makes you uncomfortable/comfortable??? It makes me, the person actually dealing with this shit (though if you asked my mom she’d say she deals with it too because I’m “an extension” of her), uncomfortable that they are imposing their opinions and ideas and feelings and ableism onto me.

Abled people do not get a fucking opinion about my goddamn body. I will take suggestions from people who actually listen to me and who have done the work and research to best help me and who aren’t obsessed with how I look to the outside world (my mom especially is obsessed with how we as a family look to the outside world absolutely obsessed and we have to be perfect and me being disabled doesn’t fit into her perfect little fantasy).

I honestly don’t even know how to engage in a productive conversation with them. They think they’re trying to have an “adult conversation” about it but when I tell them they’re not helping and that I already know everything they’re telling me and that what they see as helping me isn’t actually helping they just double down and call me out for being “immature” because I get really fucking frustrated because I’ve heard the same fucking things over and over and over again and again from them and myself and other people who quite frankly don’t get a goddamn say on my body. I told them if you think you can help tell me something I don’t already know or haven’t already tried and they just go “we’re just trying to help” like guys. You’re. Not. Helping. I’ve told you this so many times

Also this really hurt a lot more because I though my dad was more on my side than I guess he is. I thought it was just my mom who was so hell bent on being involved and giving me useless advice that quite frankly will just hurt me but nope it’s both of them and I fucking hate that.

All I wanted to do was help make dinner and now I’m alone in my room on the floor with my back against the door trying not to cry or punch something.

Also don’t get me wrong I love my parents and I’m super thankful for them but goddamn sometimes they’re so fucking infuriating