The Boyz Fluff - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

Can u do dating sunwoo as well?? I really like how you write 💖

OFC I CAN HOL UP

genre : fluff & smut

. . . DATING KIM SUNWOO WOULD INCLUDE . . .

- randomness 24/7. sure, sunwoo is a pretty chill dude around you since he's trying to impress you, but that doesn't mean he doesn't say the most randomest shit at any given point.

- sunwoo is the opposite of boring. he'll take you to strange locations and have a picnic there, burst into song in the middle of the afternoon, even show up at your doorstep with obnoxiously obvious gifts. so much for keeping this relationship under wraps smh.

- a giant goofball!! sunwoo always keeps you entertained because he just wants to see you happy :) your happiness makes him happy.

- soccer lessons. the same way you pass along your interests to him, he'll do the same to you. sunwoo loves watching you slowly pick up how to play his favorite sport.

- lots of flirty touches. i mean LOTS. in public, while you're with the others, he don't care! you're his and he wants the world to know it.

- WARNING: don't wear a short skirt around sunwoo unless you want his hand up it or unless you want to get fucked in the bathroom of wherever y'all are out eating at.

- he's a kinky bastard, and one of his faves is public sex. maybe not completely seen by the public, but the thrill of knowing someone could pass by and figure out what's going on sends him through the roof.

- sunwoo wants to please you. he'll never say no to anything you suggest or want to try in the bedroom. even that one time you tied him up and overstimulated him for a good half hour. he doesn't regret a thing.

- quite high sex drive. good luck lolz.

- love, love, LOVES it when you play with his hair. he just wants to be adored by you and to adore you.

- he's definitely written a song or two about you. ;)

--

the end <3

You’re really cute idkw hahahhaha i like the dating thing you’re doing for the boyz, hope you can do it for Jacob. Sorry for my English but yeah love your blog

thank you omg :') it's the stuff like this that just makes my day :D

jacob coming up <33

genre : fluff & smut

. . . DATING JACOB BAE WOULD INCLUDE . . .

all that cheesy romance movie stuff. jacob loves to spoil you, so expect random deliveries of chocolates, heart balloons, or love letters.

cuddling!! i see jacob as a very soft and cuddly boy so you're in for a treat with this dude.

he loves PDA. expect to have your hand held in public, sweet cheek kisses (or actually kisses, depending on his mood), or back hugs. LOTS of back hugs.

jacob loves to sneak up behind you while youre turned away from him. whether it be at the counter making food, folding laundry, or just simply facing away from him. he will back hug and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. or dirty nothings. whichever he feels like.

this boy is a tease!! he loves leaving you hot and bothered without finishing the job right away.

honestly, he doesn't mind if others try to flirt with you or talk to you because he knows that you know that nobody could ever love you or fuck you the way he can. <33

has lots of fantasies but they will leave his mind the second you say you're not interested. he doesnt want to push you to do anything you're not comfortable with.

after sex he's a very lovey dovey guy. forehead kisses, massages, whispers of "you did so good, honey" and "you're so lovely, darling".

loves pet names, like, and abnormally large amount. he likes to be called babe, honey, and cobie, and likes to call you honey, darling, and love.

honestly he just loves you so much. like, so much.

--

the end :)

˜”*°• *.* ˜”*°• ! the boyz masterlist ! •°*”˜ *.* •°*”˜

——————————————————————————

| Headcanons |

THE BOYZ As Boyfriends (solo headcanons)

Sangyeon | Jacob | Younghoon | Hyunjae | Juyeon | Kevin | New | Q | Haknyeon | Sunwoo | Eric

| Reactions |

Nothing Yet!

| Drabbles |

Nothing Yet!

| Series |

Nothing Yet!

| Timestamps |

Nothing Yet!

lucuuu bangett yang hyunjae 😩

fall asleep against me

(hyung line) when you fall asleep on them!

genre: fluff, cuddling, kissing, just comfort notes: this to like help with the horribly sad fiasco that i wrote for hyunjae like oh my gosh word count: 1.3k

sangyeon

when you walked into your shared room, you felt a smile grow on your face when you noticed your boyfriend, sitting cross-legged in bed, doing some work on his computer. he looked so cozy like this, his hair unstyled and soft, no makeup on his face, and just loungewear on.

you climbed into bed, sitting behind him. 

“hi,” you giggled, hooking your chin over his shoulder and pressing a kiss to his cheek. this way, you could see what he was working on. he was producing a slow, romantic song. he turned to you and smiled, dearly.

“hi,” he greeted back, breathing out a relieved sigh just at the sight of you. “i missed you.”

you gazed at him with awe, “did you really?”

“mhm,” he nodded, faking a pout that made you laugh. after, the two of you fell into silence as he went back to work. you smiled mischievously before wrapping your arms around his waist as you rested your cheek against the broad expanse of his back. you loved the pattern of his breathing and the comforting scent of his soft shirt.

you could hear the typing on his computer and his occasional hum. soon enough, with his warm body against his chest, you found yourself falling asleep, still clutching onto his waist. he didn’t notice at first, as he just kept on working. but at some point, he paused his clicking when he heard you snoring.

he widened his eyes slightly and took a glance behind him. he smiled softly at the sight of you sound asleep against his back.

“how do i move…” he wondered to himself. he thought for a second before as gently as he could, he moved so he was sitting against the headboard and you were sleeping on his chest.

“perfect,” he smiled, caressing your cheek and brushing hair away from your face. he felt your heart soar when you snuggled even closer. “i love you.”

jacob

“is your lap comfortable?” you suddenly blurted out after looking at a couple of videos on your phone. you were fairly new to relationships and wanted to try all sorts of things with your boyfriend.

he looked at you, bewildered.

“is my lap comfortable?” he repeated, in disbelief.

“yeah,” you giggled, gazing up at him with expectant eyes. he sputtered, hating how much of an effect you had on him.

“y-you want to sit on my… lap?” you could see him blush as he looked down at his lap for a second, contemplating the scenario. he blinked up at you, completely flustered.

you snorted, “no, silly, i meant to lay my head on it.”

“oh, i thought…” he trailed off, turning redder by the second. and that was when you decided to tease him just a bit more. 

“i mean, if you would like me to sit on i-”

“no!” he blurted out, stuttering. “i- i mean, i wouldn’t mind… but– nevermind.’

you giggled endearingly, “let me test it out. laying on it mean.”

“sure,” he agreed, taking in a shaky breath as he patted his lap. you lay down and put your head against his thighs. you felt your body immediately relax, loving the warmth that encompassed you, as well as the sweet scent of his cologne. you were quiet for a short while, just enjoying the comfortable position.

“what do you think?” he asked, looking at you with amusement.

“very comfortable indeed,” you sighed, melting against him.

he laughed affectionately as he used his hand to brush through your hair. it was so, so soothing that you couldn’t help but get drowsy. he noticed quickly, never stopping his stroking movements. and when he was sure that you had fallen asleep, he leaned down to press a quick kiss to your lips.

“please continue to sleep here, you look adorable,” he whispered, gazing at you with so much love.

“okay.”

“you’re awake?” he gasped.

you smirked, “i am now since you called me adorable.”

younghoon

“if you’re so tired, why don’t you just take a nap?” he whined, clinging to your arm as he nuzzled his nose into your neck, making you shiver slightly.

“no,” you stubbornly replied. “i have to finish this chapter,” you gripped your book, turning the page with excitement to know what happen next.

“yeah, but you keep on yawning,” he poked your cheek, making you scowl. “meaning that you are tired.”

“lies.”

“i would never lie,” he charmed, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek.

you huffed, ignoring him with pursed lips.

“hey, don’t ignore me, you know you love me,” he cheekily teased you. you secretly loved his nagging, finding it adorable and it making you feel special. but you also loved bickering with him.

you groaned, pushing him lightheartedly.

“i guess i do love an annoying boyfriend.”

he gasped, “you take that back!”

“no, let me read.” the two of you were currently sitting in bed, younghoon right by your side. the both of you were wrapped up in blankets, relaxing late in the evening. as you got more comfortable with your story, you laid your head on his shoulder. but at some point, the words started to get more and more blurry, and you read slower. okay, so maybe you were tired. you didn’t even notice that your eyes were drooping.

he watched intently as your book fell into your lap. he chuckled, lovingly.

“i told you so,” he remarked. though you didn’t hear him since you were already fast asleep. as carefully as he could, he took your book, marked the page you were on, and set it aside. then, he leaned towards you, making you snuggle into the slope of his shoulder.

“sleep well, angel,” he whispered as he laid his head on top of yours, holding your hand tenderly in his.

hyunjae

“you have to watch this one,” he pointed at the screen with adorable excitement. “i’m serious, it’s the best.”

you sighed, shaking your head, “is it spiderman again?”

he froze, looking at you sheepishly. “maybe…”

“oh hyunjae,” you giggled, looking up at him as you batted your eyelashes. “why don’t you be my spiderman?”

he sputtered, blush barely visible, “what are you talking about? just watch.”

you smiled, knowing that he very much liked what you said. you quickly got comfortable, cuddling up to his side. as you watched the movie though, you felt yourself get drowsy. and don’t get the wrong idea, it was an interesting movie! just the day prior had been really tiring.

you decided to lay your head on his shoulder. he instinctively laid his arm out, letting his hand rest on your thigh, comfortably as he pressed a quiet kiss to your forehead. soon enough, you had fallen asleep, snoring quietly.

he was too invested in the movie to notice. but, when a plot twist happened and he turned to you to ramble on about it, that was when he finally took note.

“hey,” he whispered, frowning. “you seriously fell asleep during my favorite movie?” he pouted quietly to himself, though not making any effort to wake you up. he secretly loved how cute you looked.

you woke up slowly, blinking blearily at him.

he widened his eyes, staring at you with guilty, “i didn’t meant to wake you up though…”

“no, no,” you shook your head. “we can continue to watch. sorry for falling asleep.”

“it’s okay,” he scrunched his nose. “i was just joking,” he giggled. he took your head gently and urged it back onto his shoulder. “sleep, my cutie.”

“thank you,” you whispered with exhaustion. and then you smiled to yourself, “my spiderman.”

“hey, don’t start with that,” he narrowed his eyes at you, his ears gradually turning red. “i’ll get shy.”

“okay… my hero.”

“oh my,” he groaned.

OUT OF THE BLUE | jcm

➙ when you find out that one of the students you coach is the niece of the guy you accidentally punched in the face and pushed into a pool, you're not surprised that he's, well, disappointed at the outcome. however, you're determined to make amends with him for the sake of his niece... and maybe for the sake of his cute face too.

pairing: dancer/scarer!ji changmin x swimming coach!gn reader (ft. bff/swimming coach!kim younghoon)

genre: social media au, strangers/enemies-ish to friends to lovers au, fluffy fluff, humor, v slight angst n drama

warnings: swearing, presence of a love triangle (but nothing stressful HAHAHA), mentions of haunted houses, horror, (unintentional) attacks, (not serious) threats, swimming, drinking, and food, and possible second-lead syndrome 😁

started: july 26, 2021

ended: september 9, 2021 (complete)

(for more updates on the series, please check out the “#ootb update” tag under my blog!)

a/n: here we go again 🤪 HHAHAHAHA i'm sorry the "pairing" part of this post is sucha handful but i promise it's not as complicated as it sounds 🥲 this au might be a little bit of a mess but i hope u all still enjoy !!! XD as always, feedback is GREATLY appreciated and please lmk if i make a mistake in the use of pronouns, etc. hehe thank you for reading and have a great day !! <33

profiles

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 3

chapter 4

chapter 5

chapter 6

chapter 7

chapter 8

chapter 9

chapter 10

chapter 11

chapter 12

chapter 13

chapter 14

chapter 15

chapter 16

chapter 17

chapter 18

chapter 19

chapter 20 [epilogue]

break your rules

[social media au]

member: changmin (q) genre: fluff synopsis: being long-time friends means keeping boundaries. but turning friendship into love means crossing lines. are you and changmin willing to break the rules? will it be worth it?

release date: may 2, 2021 updates: every sun-tues (3 times a week)

ask me to be added to the tag list! :)

Keep reading

Masterlist

Welcome to my masterlist 🤍

I will try my best to stay on top of it and update it whenever I post something new xoxo

Request status: CLOSED

Works in the making

Fluff= 🧸

Angst= 🥀

Smut= 🔥

Enhypen:

Heeseung:

I forgot 🧸🥀🔥

The locker rooms 🧸🥀🔥

Jay:

Mornings with you 🧸🔥

Jake:

Gimme attention 🧸🥀🔥

Sunghoon:

Work up a sweat 🔥

Please like me 🧸🥀

Sunoo:

Jungwon:

Don’t call me cute! 🧸

Forgiveness 🔥

Under the blanket 🔥

Niki: (fluff/angst only!!!)

Enhypen NSFW links - minors DNI‼️

Stray Kids:

The Boyz:

lee hyunjae- cuddle buddies

genre/tw: fluff, forehead kisses,

(not proof read, please let me know if you find any mistakes please!!

regular hyunjae and tired fem!reader

word count: 0.2k

->🌙

lying in bed, you continue to let your eyes caress the pages, trying to keep yourself awake. knowing he was on his way home and would arrive any minute now, you do anything to keep yourself from drifting off.

as your eyes start to close, the rattling of the door alerts you, and you can’t help but sigh out, glad the wait was over. dropping the book, you sit up and stretch, hearing soft footsteps walking up to the open door in front of you. hyunjae walks in, catching your barely awake eyes and messy hair as he laughs softly.

having a boyfriend who had a crazy schedule wasn’t exactly ideal, but nothing could keep you away from him. not even the threat of not being able to sleep without him beside you.

he walks over and leaves a soft kiss on your forehead before whispering into your hair “lie down, i’ll be back in a minute..”

having no problem with his request, you lie down and cuddle under the blankets, waiting for him. he keeps his word, and in what feels like 30 seconds you feel his arms wrap around you and pull you close to him. he sighs into your hair, whispering about his day to will you to sleep. you fall asleep, feeling warm and happy having him right there next to you.

soo… i’m becoming a sucker for fluffy hyunjae🤭IM SO EXCITED FOR TBZ COMEBACK, so i’ve become kinda inspired to write something for them!! also school exams are over for now, so i have more time to rest and write🫶🫶

thank you for reading, i appreciate it!!

navigation ♡

hi! i'm izzy! 💐 still me, different page:

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deserve | nct na jaemin

outsider | nct na jaemin

the boyz masterlist | latest three:

sip and learn | kim sunwoo (suggestive) love me unconditionally | kim sunwoo | teaser (hurt/comfort) show you the stars | kim sunwoo (suggestive)

nct dream masterlist | latest three:

[21:15] | huang renjun (hurt/comfort) it's so nice to be loved by you | na jaemin (fluff) [08:52] | lee donghyuck | haechan (suggestive)

riize masterlist | latest:

dance routine | riize jung sungchan (fluff)

other masterlist | latest three:

love me unconditionally | tbz kim sunwoo | teaser (hurt/comfort) yesterday's petal | nct na jaemin (angst) [03:10] | tbz kim sunwoo (fluff, hurt/comfort)

requests currently closed!!

feel free to do so! any mdni requests should not be sent to this account!

absolutely no pairings from below:

idol x idol brother/sister's best friend x reader/character 5+ year age gap romantic relationships teacher x student

all videos, images, gifs and musics to their rightful owners! any resemblances to existing persons, places and stories are fully coincidental!! all ideas, plotline, stories and og!characters are mine unless stated otherwise!!

copyright © 2023 from-izzy. please do not repost my work at any platforms with and especially without credit. note that either options are plagiarism.

you: my favourite scene | tbz kim sunwoo

» ​PAIRING: tbz kim sunwoo x fem reader/original female character​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers! non-idol au! (high) school au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, bit (?) of angst, ​sunwoo is super loving, understanding and patient, hurt and comfort » WORD COUNT: ​5562 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~20 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): heavy mentions of food, disordered eating, brief mentions of abandonment, topics on mental illness (implied depression and anxiety)

this was my first story i ever uploaded on tumblr! this gained 88 notes (8 rbs, 80 likes) and that number is still so massive to me. i remember seeing my very first like notification and i was so surprised that it happened within around 12 hours of when i first uploaded it (pretty sure it was midnight tho so i couldn't be as chaotic as i would have really been)

but here it is again!

def better grammar and punctuation (i seriously dk how i let those mistakes passed when i first uploaded it). i did do some editing, replacing dialogue/thoughts to narrative sentences because i didn't want to necessarily post a story that i wasn't proud of (and also because i wanted to keep my stories similar to the original ones before so...yeah).

please remember that all your struggles are valid and i sincerely hope that the world around you is a place full of love, hope and kindness. never feel inferior with asking for help. i believe that asking for help is one of the bravest things ever.

When your roommate texted Sunwoo as a final choice, the boy didn’t hesitate to rush over despite it being extremely early in the morning. He didn’t spare his friends a response when he logged out of the game and ended the call, sprinting over in his pyjamas and a random jacket from his hanger. He probably woke his sister up but he didn't care about the consequences at the moment.

About a year ago at the classroom, Sunwoo walked back to get his wallet, cursing to himself as he had to line up once more at the back of the line and his stomach was not having it after skipping dinner the night before. He caught your friends sighing and was incredibly frustrated at you for not taking care of your health. Sunwoo knew the situation was serious and was about to leave, holding in his anger until after school, not wanting to disturb Choi Jiyeon, his seatmate and new friend. His worries took over when her cries were louder and he approached the scene.

They were pretty much strangers at this point. School had only started for a month and they only got to know each other then. Sunwoo didn't know what took over him to approach the same group back then.

Jiyeon didn’t expect the sudden appearance of the boy, her eyes crying as she kept on denying her friend’s request to go eat something. Jiyeon loves her friends but unfortunately, they are not too understanding of her situation. So when she craned her head up to silently plead at Sunwoo through her tearful eyes, he made up an excuse as they both left the classroom. That day Jiyeon told him about her struggles and Sunwoo remembered promising to himself that he would research and stay by her side; as a seatmate.

But now the following year, Jiyeon's roommate opened the door for Sunwoo, smiling weakly as she gave an acknowledgment nod to the guest. He knocks on the familiar bedroom door before introducing himself and entering the room.

"Heard from a little birdie that you haven't eaten in a while." This situation isn't new for either of them; heck Sunwoo has seen her tearful eyes, full of tears so many times, yet it still breaks his heart to pieces whenever he gets the news from her close friends or roommates that she hasn't been eating for the past couple of days.

The first time it happened again after the day in the classroom, Sunwoo panicked and had a tunnel view to just get food in her stomach, believing that was the most important thing. He didn’t expect the next episode to occur so early and he has not researched the topic very well at that point. But as time went on, Sunwoo learnt certain signals from her, what she's comfortable with as well as to just provide her comfort in the hard time. 

When Sunwoo opens the door to the bedroom, he sees the fully covered figure under the blanket, gulping his sadness down. It’s the scene that he hates the most: You just lying down, lifelessly in bed, crying and fighting alone. You would never call him no matter how much he’s offered and it made him worry more as time passed. "Jiyeon…it's Sunwoo."

Sunwoo could see that she heard him, shuffling slightly as a reaction, "Sunwoo?" she whispered too gently for him to hear. Unlike his previous visits where she would make the effort to make eye contact with him, Jiyeon kept herself hidden as the past month, she has established her own feelings towards her friend.

Sunwoo nods even though Jiyeon can't see it. The bed sank a bit as he sat on its edge, "Is there anything that you were maybe wanting for the past few days?"

"I don't know…"

Sunwoo's heart clenches at how dry and lifeless her voice is. Before he knew it himself, Sunwoo slowly pulled down the blanket much to Jiyeon's surprise and she sat up to try and get the big fabric over again when Sunwoo pulled her weak body into a hug instead.

"You're so cold…" Sunwoo held onto Jiyeon tighter than ever, arms around her shoulders, resting his face on the crook of her neck.

Jiyeon's breath hitches at his warm breath against such an intimate place, "S-Sunwoo…" that only led him to tighten his grip on her upper body even more.

"Please let me get something for you…" He couldn’t bear seeing her suffering alone like this.

Jiyeon thought long and hard about something that she is able to put into her mouth easily, also thinking about her ability to swallow the food without feeling guilt, "I…guess I want some meat mixed with vegetables…like the ones inside of dumplings…but I don't want the dumpling skins…"

Sunwoo's face visibly lit up at the mention of the food she wanted, nodding excitedly at the request. He pulls away, smiling at Jiyeon and repeats her order once again, "Ok! I'll be back! Just stay here and I'll be rig---"

"No wait, don't go!" Before Sunwoo could fully let go of her hand that he had excitedly shaken earlier on, Jiyeon clasps her tiny hands on one of his hands, pulling him back down to the bed, "I don't want to be alone…"

"Hey, you're going to be fine." Sunwoo's expression softens again when Jiyeon looks up at him desperately and fearfully. With a soft act of comfort, he uses his other free warm hand to caress her cold cheek, "If you want me to stay, I can order delivery. Is that a better plan?"

Jiyeon nods, tears flooding her eyes at the way Sunwoo was so delicate about the whole situation. She slowly crawls over to the edge of the bed with the blanket rolled up on her hands, going closer next to Sunwoo.

The boy just observes her movements until she sits next to him, taking note of her shivering figure and pale face. Carefully taking the material from her hands, Sunwoo stands up and wraps the fabric around her shoulders, tucking the edges in to stop warmth from escaping.

To Sunwoo, Jiyeon looked like an extra adorable burrito and he couldn't help but blush profusely at the endearing sight. He bends down from his standing position, tucking stray hairs behind her ears, "Do you want me to make the call here or outside?"

"Here…" one of her hands escaped from the warm environment, "could you…hold my hand?"

"Of course, I will."

Sunwoo kept his word, giving reassuring squeezes and thumb brushes on her hand during the whole call. He tried his best to keep the food names short and concise, not wanting Jiyeon to be stressed by the whole situation. When the phone hung up, Sunwoo sat down comfortably on the floor in front of her, still holding her hand, "It'll be here soon."

A comfortable silence envelops them both as they stare into each other's eyes attentively. If she didn't read him wrong, Jiyeon could see sparks of life and happiness in him, as well as comfort and warmth in his eyes. The sight made her heart beat faster though she also worried that her crush on Sunwoo made her delusional about something that wasn't there in the first place.

When Jiyeon downcasted her gaze, she missed the way Sunwoo slightly frowned as he pouted a little, "I'm sorry…" She couldn’t finish her sentence verbally but what she wanted to really say was: sorry for wasting your time and money on me when you could be using it for other things. Why couldn’t she say it? It’s not as if Sunwoo would look down on her in any way. He would’ve done so ages ago if that was the case.

But no.

Sunwoo stayed by her with those gorgeous, patient gaze and that smooth, comforting voice. That did scare her because she fell in love with Sunwoo even more and giving her heart to someone else, is a big gamble. With that, she stayed quiet because she had a feeling that if she ever said anything, he would smile awkwardly, tap her shoulder timidly and walk away without another doubt.

"For what?" Sunwoo didn't get an answer when he realised that Jiyeon started crying, her mind filling up with horrible thoughts and ideas, "Jiyeon." He jumps up from his cross-legged position, crashing his body to hers once again, "I have no idea what you're apologising for but you haven't done anything wrong, so don't apologise."

"Sunwoo…I--" She struggled heavily to form any sentence in her head, let alone in real life. Sunwoo hushed her, cradling her face between his palms, "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Sunwoo whispers back. Even if his tone was stable, his heart started beating fast at the possibilities behind her words. The words would have ranged from the smallest to the biggest of things and Sunwoo didn’t even want to begin to think of the possibilities. While Jiyeon only shakes her head, not answering his question explicitly, he just nods, opting to give her physical comfort like before, "I'm just going to get the food alright? It should be outside the door."

Jiyeon couldn't answer, feeling numb and tired as the tears just kept flowing down. Sunwoo himself was on the verge of tears. He recalls the day when he was late to the first day of last year when the new student became his seatmate for the school year. Sunwoo knew the moment she flashed her smile that his heart would be in deep trouble yet, he still introduced himself with an entrancing smile anyway.

"I'm not going to leave you alone." The said girl widened her eyes when she heard the slight voice crack in his sentence, seeing how tears pooled in his eyes, "I promise you that I won't. I'll be right back."

"Please come back soon." With shaky hands, Jiyeon couldn't help but cradle Sunwoo's cheek, brushing his skin with her thumb delicately.

"Close your eyes and count to forty-five. I'll be back in front of you when you open your eyes." With a nod and her voice starting, Sunwoo dashes for the door before relocating to the kitchen, washing his hands and peeling off the dumpling skins, putting them aside for him to eat later on. Putting the filling back into the container, he sits down on the floor again whilst catching his breath and when Jiyeon opens her eyes, he's surely there with a comforting smile.

Jiyeon wrapped her arms around her body tighter when Sunwoo smiled warmly at her, "You're actually back…" A lone tear fell off as she worried herself over and over again, "You came back…" 

But the thing is, Sunwoo has always come back over and over and over again.

Sunwoo frowns at the comment, feeling his heart clench at the way you were most definitely worn out from your fight. Unlike previous days when she would smile back and thank him, it seemed like there was something definitely on her mind today, "You know I'll always come back for you right?"

"Yeah…" though it felt unsure. Sunwoo wasn't sure what made her so hesitant but he couldn't help the hurt to flash against his eyes as he nodded at her words dejectedly, "I'm going to give the container to you, alright? As always, I'll sit behind you, back to back and just wait for you, okay?"

Her gut swirls with anxiety and suddenly the white, somewhat translucent takeaway container didn’t seem scary to her anymore. But the boy that held onto it while thoughtfully reciting the plan that they have always adhered to? That made her look away.

"Sunwoo, I think you should go this time…" The fear took over her and she blurted the sentence before she even knew it. All the thoughts that freely swarmed in her head suddenly collided against each other and Jiyeon bought her blanket to cover the lower part of her face.

"W-What?" With no clear answer from the girl, Sunwoo's frown deepens and he gulps in nervousness at her words, "How about if I wait outside? Hm? Is that a better plan?"

"O-Outside…?" She recalls a random day after school when they were both playing basketball together.

"Yah Kim Sunwoo!" Jiyeon fell into a fit of giggles when Sunwoo engulfed her back to his chest with his arms around her waist tight, swaying her around to keep her away from the ball, "This is foul play!"

"Whatever you say!" Sunwoo kept her in his hands for a little more, smiling brightly as the basketball bounced further away from them. When their laughs die down (though their smiles haven't), he turns Jiyeon around to face him. He grins, the corner of his lips stretching widely to the sides.

Jiyeon couldn't do the same however, the comments from her friends that she's falling in love with Sunwoo filled her head. She didn’t really know why she kept on brushing it off. Jiyeon always believed that love would come and she would always tell herself to accept the feeling. But when reality strikes, it feels like all the pep talks and preparation vanished without a trace. Nervously with wide eyes, she looked up at the mischievous boy who only looked at her with a fond smile, "Sunwoo." she whispered to him.

"Hm?" For the first time in a while, he lets one of his arms around your waist go, only for it to fix your hair up a little bit, waiting for your response. Sunwoo lets himself bask in the feeling of being close to Jiyeon, loving how physically close they could be without feeling awkward; or at least that’s how it felt to him. Undeniably, Sunwoo knows he has fallen in love with the teenage girl and though the feeling scared him, he allows himself to let go of his fears at least just this once.

"If, just if, one day I told you that I can't hang around you anymore,” Jiyeon finally looks up at his slowly concerned gaze, “what would you do?"

"What would I do?" Sunwoo crashes his eyebrows together in confusion, "Well, I mean I don't need to think about this because it'll never happen though! I'm too awesome for that!" He finishes with his widest, signature grin. 

Jiyeon laughs at the very Sunwoo-like response before continuing, "Just an ‘if’…you never know what could happen in the future."

"Well," Sunwoo didn't even want to think about it; a day where you would push him away indefinitely. He’s definitely thought about it, no doubt. Most of the situation was about how he would confess and it would ruin this friendship that he could never dream of letting go, "it'll depend on the situation but I would wait for you. If it's just during that certain time when you need immediate space, then I would wait outside for you or something. But if it's long term," His hand that was playing with your hair stops, cupping your cheek gently as he looks longingly into your eyes. 

Sunwoo knew at that point that he was indeed very much in love with Choi Jiyeon. Days of questioning have finally brought him this realisation and he smiled radiantly with the thought in his head. Jiyeon gives a confused frown but slowly starts to relax it to a smile when Sunwoo’s thumb caresses your blushed cheek softly. 

Sunwoo enjoyed this moment where it felt like you were the only ones in the world, all the surrounding noises blurred out from your attention. His thumb that rested on your cheek unknowingly moved back and forth as you enjoyed the soothing act.

Sunwoo's action made the world around Jiyeon stop momentarily. With that beautiful, deep, loving gaze, she waited, "If it's long term?"

He sighs out, "Look, I don't even want to think about the long term. But I know, and I know for sure, that I'll wait for you."

"You…will?" Jiyeon breathlessly confirms as Sunwoo nods with a small tiny smile and half-lidded eyes.

"I will. I’ll always wait for you. So don’t worry yourself over such a thought."

"Promise?" Just like little children, Jiyeon holds up her pinky between their faces, waiting for Sunwoo to link them together. 

He chuckles before sealing his words with the old ritual, "Promise."

Jiyeon squirmed at the promise that she practically forced him to make. Yet Sunwoo still kneeled before her with his hands under her smaller fingers and hands. His hands became colder by the second as his grip became just a tiny bit tighter, hopeful for a positive response.

Your response, however, cut his heart like a knife, "I think…you should just go home, Sunwoo…" 

The last class before lunchtime commences with the students waiting and hustling about the room, waiting for the teacher. Jiyeon’s seatmate talked to her friends from the row in front, telling her the menu her mother packed for lunch, and her friend responded with something similar. 

The discomfort grew too familiar for her and Jiyeon wanted nothing but for the seat to swallow her, hoping that something would protect her from hearing such words about the one thing she couldn’t stand the most at the moment. Or she wished that she could run away like she did instantly when morning break started. When the strict teacher finally came, she couldn’t be any happier at how his booming voice made the whole class quiet instantly and Jiyeon gulped down harshly as a thankful tear came out from her.

In the opposite classroom, Sunwoo clenches his phone underneath his table as his bank account balance is shown once more. He stares at the higher number, furrowing his eyebrows at the transaction made into his account. Further information shows that Jiyeon was the one who did the act and he scoffs in confusion and dumbfoundedness, “What the hell is she doing?” 

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: where she would go when she was happy, when she was sad or when she was struggling. But the earlier morning break proved him otherwise as he ran practically through the whole school to find you, both for the relief of seeing you as well as to ask what was in your mind the other night when you said those hurtful words to him. 

Looking to his left, where he could see the girl on the other side through the classroom windows, he sees the tired look on her face and that signature lip bite that she always does when she's in a hard time. The class was about to end in three minutes and Sunwoo was going crazy about how impatient he was to run into the other room. He made sure his headphones were connected to his phone, turning up the volume a little bit to hear that it was connected properly without being caught by the teacher in the act.

When class is dismissed, he bumps and squishes through people from both classes to a desk in the middle of the class. Girls were entranced with his presence and the boys were greeting the social boy. However, Sunwoo had a really small tunnel vision, only running to a downcasted figure that when approached closer, was just her trying to hold in the cries with her hands on her ears to block out the noises.

Sunwoo comes around to the side of the desk, his phone and the neck of his headphones in one hand. Amongst the still bustling area, he’s surprised at how much he can hear Jiyeon's shaking even though it actually was really quiet. That made him realise how tense and angry his facial expression would’ve been, his heart softening when he heard her struggles.

Carefully, Sunwoo stood behind Jiyeon, picked a random song and tucked it away in his pocket. His left-hand wraps around her tense wrist softly, lowering it down to her lap, whispering words of comfort before engulfing her left ear with his headphones. He did the same with the right ear afterwards, carefully observing how her body slowly relaxes at the tune.

Sunwoo thought that he knew Jiyeon well: in this situation, he could relax that he actually did. 

He waits patiently for her to come back to the present, sitting down on the table directly behind hers as he watches the song change from his phone screen for the next fifteen minutes. Sunwoo feels the pain once again: the pain that he couldn’t take away as he could do nothing but wait for her to acknowledge his presence. Upon last night’s events, Sunwoo was contemplating just leaving his phone on her desk and walking away as he didn’t know how glad she would be with him near her. The thought doubled the pain in Sunwoo’s heart and he decided to click the phone to sleep. Before he could put it on Jiyeon’s desk, however, her body visibly relaxed and Sunwoo widened his eyes and froze, knowing that she’s fully calmed down now. 

Jiyeon’s crying eventually ceases, opening her eyes with a final sniff. Usually, when she did let the light back into her eyes, Sunwoo would be in front of her, flashing that beautiful smile of his that she had come to fall in love with. She couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she didn’t see the usual scene. Her hands come up to both sides of the headphones, pulling them down to rest the headband on her neck shakily. She knew all too well that even when she was crying with her eyes tightly shut, it was Kim Sunwoo. 

It was Kim Sunwoo that came to her rescue and made her feel safe once again.

It was Kim Sunwoo who waited for her to calm down when everyone knew how much he cherished his break time and food.

It was Kim Sunwoo who made her fall in love all over with him once again. 

Jiyeon just stared down at her undecorated nails, pretending to find something interesting about it. In reality, she was just biting her lips, shutting her eyes back and forth in an internal battle to look back at the figure behind her. Her shoulders slumped unconsciously as she recalled her passive actions to Sunwoo the day before, basically kicking him out of her apartment. Jiyeon mulled over her actions the whole night, knowing well that it was so unfair that she pushed Sunwoo out when he most probably rushed over to help.

“Thank you.” Jiyeon says clearly to the person behind her. Sunwoo heard her gratitude clearly, nodding softly still with an incomprehensible face as he just looked at his shoes below him. Noting no response from him, Jiyeon twists her upper body back to see the dejected Sunwoo. Her heart clenches at how he didn’t make the effort to even look up, wishing even more now that he would at least flash her a smile. But that is too much to ask after what happened and Jiyeon knew that, “Sunwoo, I---”

“Why did you send me money?” His tone wasn’t welcoming at all, icy and cold as if he hated the girl. The students that were in the classroom were no more when they heard his tone, quietly packing up and walking away, not wanting to get involved in the drama; though of course, they’ll talk about it outside the classroom.

“I-I just…” Jiyeon stammers, gulping her nerves down. She notices how Sunwoo clenched his fists. The one that held his hand was clenching so hard that his phone was waiting for him to confirm if he wanted to shut the device down, “For delivery last night…”

“You’ve never paid me back. Why now?”

“O-Oh..I can transfer more. I’m sorr---”

Sunwoo scoffs, his whole face grimacing in anger, “That’s not what I meant.” His fiery orbs finally met down with Jiyeon’s red ones, her tears still escaping here and there. All Sunwoo wanted to do at the moment was wipe Jiyeon’s remaining tears, cupping her cheek and pulling her warmth to him. But not now. It’s not the right time, “Jiyeon, I don’t understand why you pushed me away. Of course, if you need space that’s fine. I would always give it to you if you need it, without a doubt or question. In fact, if you need it right now then I’ll leave. But that’s not the only thing you did. You transferred me money and you think that I’m asking for you to pay after all those times?” He stopped for a second, a million sentences running in his head that he rehearsed last night alone in the confused darkness.

“I just…haven’t been able to pay it back.” Jiyeon didn’t know what else to say. She adjusted her position, turning her body so that the left side of her body was facing him, her foot hitting the rear chair leg. Sunwoo didn’t miss how her small fists were now side by side together on her thighs as she stuttered to find some words, “S-So…yeah.”

“Yeah?” After a short time to finally breathe after his long rant, Sunwoo managed to ground himself back, his emotions no longer heated. But now, his heart weighed heavily at everything between him and Jiyeon, “Don’t pay me back.” Sunwoo’s voice wavered, turning his head to the side, trying to control his emotional state, “I did all those things because I care for you, Jiyeon. I care about you so much that it physically hurts me when you’re crying alone, fighting alone like that. You never let anyone in and although I want to say that ‘it’s alright’, I also want to say that it’s not. You have me. Jiyeon, you have me. But you just pushed me away.” 

But it’s hard, isn’t it? To show the side of yourself to someone that you desperately try to hide. It becomes even harder when you try to hide it from someone you like, “I think…” Jiyeon whimpers at the words she’s about to say, contemplating to say it. Is she really going to push him away like this? Will she ever be able to let go of the fact that Sunwoo won’t be her friend anymore? Will she be able to let go of Kim Sunwoo in general? Her heart beats for Sunwoo but her mind is telling her that with all the love Sunwoo receives, why would he ever pick her?

Sunwoo raises himself off the table with the intention of walking away and giving Jiyeon some space. Looking down at the top of Jiyeon’s head, he couldn’t help but blurt out a bit of his feelings, “You don’t know this but I’ve never had a crush on someone before.”

The sudden new topic made Jiyeon lift her head up to face Sunwoo. Unexpectedly to her, Sunwoo was already looking down at her with absolute adoration when he said his words. Jiyeon gasps lightly when Sunwoo starts to lightly tear up, “S-Sunwoo.” Forgetting her earlier thoughts, her body reacted first, standing up to be in front of him, “Hey…why are you crying?” Testing the waters very carefully, Jiyeon slowly raises the back of one of her hands to wipe his cheek.

Sunwoo, of course, lets her do so. He takes notice of her warm hands that completely contrasted yesterday, feeling comforted as he lets out a relieving breath and a small chuckle. Both of her hands were resting on Sunwoo’s cheek so gently, with her thumb wiping motion on his cheek, that he felt like his whole body was being wrapped comfortably by her. He just kept on staring at Jiyeon’s worried expression and the way her lips were throwing out words of comfort, “How am I supposed to ever walk away from you when I’m so in love with you?”

Jiyeon flinches at the sudden confession and before she could back away, Sunwoo quickly places his palms over hers back to his cheeks firmly. His eyes look weak due to his own tiredness from not being able to sleep soundly yet full of strong love for the woman in front of him, “W-What did you just say?”

Exhaling softly at the way Jiyeon looks so unsure, Sunwoo repeats his main point differently, “I’m confessing my feelings for you.” Her once confused parted lips, found each other once again as she searched Sunwoo’s eyes and all over his face for any lies, “I’m not playing with you, Choi Jiyeon. I can see the reluctance in your face.”

“Sunwoo, you have girls lining up for you,” Jiyeon whispers to him, her tone convincing him that something is wrong. “Waiting for you. Girls who are so much easier to be with. Girls that won’t push you away. Girls that won’t make you run out of the house at midnight. Girls that are…not a burden.” In denial, Jiyeon shakes her head, “You don’t lik---”

“Is that what you think you are to me?” Sunwoo counters her calmly, “A burden?”

“I’ve always been a burden all my life. Why do you think my parents left me?” Jiyeon lost all the strength in her arms, and the only thing holding her hands on Sunwoo’s cheek was all his effort, “My grandparents are loving but their lives would’ve been so much easier if I was nev---”

“Mine wouldn’t,” Sunwoo interjected. Whatever it was that she was about to say, it was something to put down her self-worth and he couldn’t handle such things coming out of her. Lowering both of their linked hands, Sunwoo intertwines Jiyeon’s hands with his, “You don’t know how much energy you give me every day. How much motivation you give me throughout the day. How loved and cared for you make me feel.” He shrugs, ignoring the loud beating of his heart, “But now I guess I’m finally telling you.”

The apprehension in Jiyeon’s eyes made Sunwoo comfortingly smile, hoping to ease some of her anxiety. Just like what Jiyeon did towards him earlier, he lets go of one of her hands to rub his thumb on her cheek. It was silent as they were comforting and seemingly communicating with each other through their loving gaze at each other. And so when Jiyeon lets out a small smile, Sunwoo beams brighter than ever, “I like you, Kim Sunwoo.”

“Then date me. Date me and let me love you back.”

Jiyeon blushes at the straightforward statement. Sunwoo flutters his eyes shut as she brushes the hair away from his face, “You won’t regret this?” she breathes the question softly.

Sunwoo shook his head, gently placing his forehead on Jiyeon’s, “Not if you won’t.” He responded in a similar manner. 

“Sunwoo.” Jiyeon turns to her side and glares at her boyfriend who has been staring at her for the last three minutes. Not only did it distract her studies but the way that he looked at her so mesmerisingly made it hard for her to even breathe at this rate, “Stop looking at me.”

Sunwoo kept an innocent smile, pushing his face further forward, pressing a quick peck on her lips, “Why?” He playfully asks.

“You said you were hungry! Go get some food!” Jiyeon pushes Sunwoo away by the shoulder, the male dramatically pushing himself back, “Don’t be dramatic!”

“Fine fine, I’ll go.” Sunwoo drags out the last syllable in the sentence, frowning and slumping on his chair a little bit before standing up with his phone, “Do you…want anything?” Jiyeon could only smile softly as usual, stopping her vigorous typing on her computer at his question.

It’s been more than three years since their relationship started and Sunwoo has been so patient in her journey that every single time he carefully asks the question, Jiyeon could feel her heart melt and fall in love with the boy more and more each time, “Give me a kiss before you go.” She puckered her lips to him, tilting her head up.

Blushing furiously at the unexpected request, Sunwoo buffered before leaning down to hug his lips with her familiar ones. His hand was on Jiyeon’s nape, softly holding her head in this intimate moment. Jiyeon melts even further with his attentive actions, smiling widely in the kiss. Before completely pulling his hand away, Sunwoo brushes her hair out from her forehead to press another kiss. Leaning away to face each other with rosy-tinted cheeks, he asks once again, “Anything else?”

“Make sure you have a safe trip there and back.” Jiyeon presses a kiss on Sunwoo’s cheek before ushering him to go. But he didn’t do anything as he just kept on staring at his girlfriend who reflected the same glimmering look of love in her eyes towards him. Sunwoo’s hand, which still didn’t leave her nape, prevented her from turning away, “ Kim Sunwoo, stop looking at me! I'm not that nice to look at…"

It wasn’t Sunwoo’s plan to stare at Jiyeon for that long. He’s just naturally attracted and so in love with her that he didn’t realise that she was the only thing that he would search for in a whole hall of people, with different colours and different noises. Choi Jiyeon finally let her walls down as they overcame life’s challenges together hand in hand. Kim Sunwoo couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have her. "You will always be my favourite scene to look at."

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

[02:04] | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers (mentioned from backstory!), non-idol au! established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, slight angst (?), ​husband hyunjae, he's super patient and understanding, hurt/comfort, wedding vows (it's so cute, i love it) » WORD COUNT: ​3743 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~14 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of pregnancy, insecurities, mentions of a broken family/childhood (reader's side), proofread once

my second timestamp story! thank you for all the love on the first one! (pst! it's sunwoo! 🦝) hopefully, this one lives up to your expectations! (if there are any uwu). sorry for my weird, unscheduled, random posting times > <

shoutout to my mum who (i bet) went through a lot to make sure i would grow up well. thank you for always reminding me that you don't regret having me and loving me with all your being. love you mumma! 💗

navi/masterlist!!

You remembered when you tucked yourself into bed alone after reminding Jaehyun to come to bed soon. He was so close to finishing his work that you didn’t want to force him out of his zone, understanding that he would feel more peaceful if he finished it sooner even if it meant ruining his internal body clock a little bit for it.

Opening your eyes and taking a deep breath in the calming darkness, you smiled at the arm that rested across your now flat stomach. During your whole pregnancy stages, especially when that wicked pregnancy pillow put a physical barrier between you and your loving husband, he would at least reach out and hold your hand (or particularly your stomach bump), a huge downgrade from how his chest would completely be on your back and he hushes you asleep with his soft snores. 

You knew as soon as you turned your head to the right that Jaehyun managed to finish his work, a neutral smile on his face as compared to the slight pout and the subtle crease between his eyebrows as he sometimes grunts in his sleep from the past few days. An affectionate gaze falls upon your eyes when Jaehyun grunts and scoots over to your side of the bed, his unconscious mind telling him to move closer to his wife after he throws the pillow away to the other side of the room in excitement as soon as your new family arrived home three days ago. You chuckle at the way his right hand past the top of your stomach to hook your waist and pull you closer to him. Now half awake, Jaehyun made himself comfortable by burrowing his nose and lips into the crook of your neck and you immediately looked up towards the ceiling to let him do so.

A satisfied hum comes out from the man beside you, “This is nice.” He brushes the warm skin of your neck with his colder nose and his soft lips press multiple kisses from your jawline to your right shoulder.

“Jae.” You chuckle at his playful nature, “Go back to sleep, hm? You have work tomorrow.”

Jaehyun groans at the grim reminder. He’s been at home ever since you came back home, using up some of his leave days to take care of you and your newborn child. He was about to use it all but you stopped him, convincing him that you’re able to take care of yourself and your child, moreover to save those days in case a ‘real’ emergency does occur. Every day and every moment, you look at your husband who you treasure so much and you can’t help but think about how much you love this man with all your heart, mind and soul.

“Don’t remind me of that, bubs.” Finally opening his eyes, he relied on the subtle moonlight that seeped through your curtains and looked at your side view with ‘that’ gaze. 

‘That’ gaze that reminds you every day that you’re worth it for you. ‘That’ gaze that he kept even after ten years of meeting each other. ‘That’ gaze that was plastered on his face when he went down on one knee to propose to you. ‘That’ gaze that was present when he read his wedding vows and wiped the tears on your face when you read yours. ‘That’ gaze (mixed with immense happiness and excitement) when you told him you were pregnant. 

It holds many meanings and you were sure that the list would continue, building from all the blessed experiences so far.

Only chuckling at the way that he pouts cutely at you, you turn your body to face him, creating a small gap between you both as you press a peck on his lips, “Thank you for using your leave days to take care of us.”

“Of course, I would.” Jaehyun shook his head slightly to validate his point, “You both are my whole world. I can’t afford to lose you or baby.” It was the way that your eyes slightly pooled with tears that he replaced the pout and shushing the soft whimpers that left your now shaky lips, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Your once small cries amplified drastically and Jaehyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly pulling you into his embrace. He slips his left hand under your neck, bringing your tear-stricken face into his chest as you sob in his arms. Jaehyun comfortingly whispers sweet nothings into your ear, patting your head and pressing occasional kisses on your forehead. You stayed wordless for a while, enjoying the company and how close your entire body could be now after you gave birth.

“Catch your breath. I’ll be right here.” Jaehyun reminds you between your tired gasps for air, “I’ll always be here next to you, waiting for you, loving you more and more with each passing day.”

You couldn’t do anything but just nod, your heart melting at the sincere words, “I’m scared.”

“Of what, bubs?”

“Like,” You started, audibly voicing out the thoughts that have been swarming and eating you alive inside and out, “what happens if I mess up?”

It isn’t the first time that you had this kind of conversation. The very first time was when the adrenaline from your system was drained after announcing that positive pregnancy test to Jaehyun. You voiced out your worries as an upcoming parent, worried that you would accidentally pass down your problems, anxiety and worries to your child. Out of everything you want the most in the world, all you want is for your children to grow up without your traumas and problems affecting them because that’s not the kind of life that they deserve. Of course, that’s unrealistic. Children are indeed a slight depiction of their parents and how they would act around other people outside the family says a lot about how their parents raised them.

You can just imagine a situation where your anxiety takes over, you crouch down to be eye level with your extremely young child, giving them a lecture about what they should or shouldn’t do, extending that talks to both extreme sides of ‘what if’s and how they should just be more careful, less daring and---

“Jae, promise me that you’ll make sure she doesn’t grow up like me.” It was a desperate plea, almost as if you would walk out of their lives in the next second. The anxiety completely took over your body as you clenched Jaehyun’s shirt in your fist as a physical response, looking up at him desperately and Jaehyun’s eyebrows crashed together, “She doesn’t deserve that, Jae. Those silent cries, hating everyone around me, feeling like no one loved me and wanting to just end---”

“Don’t.” It was stern yet it still held a lot of patience and love. Jaehyun smiles sadly at the words that he has heard multiple times but even so, he would never stop reminding you of all the things he loves about you. He would never stop hugging you, holding your body and pulling you towards him, giving you all his love and company, “Don’t say that about yourself when you’re the reason why I wake up happy every day, bubs.”

“But Jae---”

“You know,” He whispers into the silent yet wavering night. Jaehyun takes a deep inhale of the air, tilting his head to rest his chin on the top of your head, “I was so scared of losing you as time went on.”

You calmed down, shutting your eyes as you focused on his heartbeat to pull you back to the present time. Jaehyun just smiles at the slightly open door of your room and he reminds himself of his newborn child on the other side of their bedroom door. When you hummed confusingly at his words, your husband just nodded, “Why were you scared?”

“Well,” If it wasn’t for the fact that your face was hidden into his collarbone, you would be able to see the blushing mess that Jaehyun was. A deep red blush was on his face, spreading to his ears; but you did feel the warmth on his neck as you kissed his skin delicately and it made Jaehyun more of a mess, “of course if it didn’t work out and you didn’t feel the same way, it would become awkward and even though we were such close friends, I knew that if I was rejected, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. I really could’ve lost you.”

You never really knew this about Jaehyun. Whenever you asked about the day that he confessed to you to be his girlfriend, he only talked about his plans and how your mutual friends all pushed him to confess to you. You also told him about how the same mutual friends pushed you to confess back to him, yet you were a coward that you became used to telling yourself that if you ever ended up with Jaehyun, it would only hinder him in life; because who would love a broken girl when they could love a perfect one instead?

And so when he confessed, asked for a chance and promised to love you dearly after two years of mutual pining, you didn’t realise that time flew by so quickly that on the sixth year when Jaehyun kneeled and asked for your hand in marriage two years ago, a sudden hit of ‘reality’ (or so you called it) crashed into you. 

You really did find love when you thought for the longest, most tiring and hardest times when you didn’t think anyone would love you as you are. Seriously, how could anyone love you when you were still so stuck between believing and convincing yourself that you are enough? 

“I knew I had to take a chance,” Jaehyun continues his thoughts, “because when I closed my eyes and realised that if I didn’t at least try to make you mine, you might just completely slip from my life. Selfishly as well, I didn’t want to see you smiling in another person’s arms and kissing that person every time you wake up and go to sleep.”

The thought of you two doing just that ever since you moved in together five years ago suddenly made you blush and you couldn’t help but let out a string of complaints. Jaehyun just laughs (and quietly lets out a sigh of relief) when you finally release his shirt, wrapping your small hands around his bigger build instead, “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise that you went through all that.”

“No, it’s alright.” He reassures you again for the nth time in the last hour, “I have you now. You are all I ever wanted.” Pulling away and reaching to cup your wet cheeks, his thumbs swipe your almost dry cheek, offering you that familiar warmth that only he could give, “It’s all worth it in the end.”

“Really?” Another tear managed to slip out of your eyes and you couldn’t help but stare at him apprehensively as the devil inside your mind managed to manipulate your thinking, “I’m such a high-maintenance person, Jae…I really wouldn’t blame you if you wake up one day and decide to just…” He shakes his head throughout your small speech, knowing the similar words that you would say to him once in a while, “leave…” It came out quieter than you thought, maybe because he already knew anyway, hence saying it again and again, the red-horned creature in your mind rejoices as your childhood traumas reminded you of how worthless you are to the world.

Usually at this time, Jaehyun would rebut your words immediately but the silence had your heart dropping and for a while, you thought that you had taken the words out of his mouth. Jaehyun kept his tired stare and suddenly you were aware of your dry mouth as you waited for any sort of words from your husband. He removes the hand that was on your cheek, reaching behind to grab his device from the bedside table, “Hold on, okay?”

For a second, you really thought this was it for the both of you. During these moments of much-needed comfort, Jaehyun has always given you his undivided attention but now as the blue light reflects on his squinting eyes, you couldn’t help but let the tears flow down your eyes once again. Did he finally give up on me? Were the only thoughts that swarmed your mind as you watched how his thumb scrolled and colours reflected on the smooth surface of his dewy skin, “Jae?” Time made you desperate for a response and you were about to clench on his shirt again when he let out a small ‘aha’ and played the video on his phone.

You recognised the scene on his phone immediately without looking. The familiar scene, cheers, whooping and excitement radiating off the background noises had you sobbing again. Jaehyun sets the volume, puts his phone back on the bedside table and gives you his attention again, “My mum was sorting videos on her phone when she came across this and sent it to me.” He presses a comforting kiss on your lips and calms your shaking body, “I’m sure you remember this right?”

You just nod and Jaehyun pulls your face into his chest once again, letting the sound from the video consume you both into your worlds.

“As soon as you stepped into those classroom doors, all eyes were on you and undoubtedly mine too.” You were already starting to tear up just from the first few sentences, “Ah…I only just started…” You scanned your next words, just sniffling from the longer sentences that you didn't know how to not cry to while the audience let out words of encouragement and small laughs. 

Your soon-to-be husband steps towards you, kissing the side of your head, “Should I go first?”

“Do you mind?” You laugh, feeling embarrassed. 

“Not at all.” Jaehyun takes out his paper from his suit, taking the microphone from you, “I already knew this would happen guys.” He announced to the audience and you rolled your eyes jokingly, “Ok…I’ll start.”

You knew very well that your eye makeup was most probably ruined and you looked some sort of a mess at the moment so you couldn’t help but stare down at the floor. Jaehyun gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your head, swooning the audience with his romantic gesture making him chuckle before clearing his throat and starting his vows.

“I remember the day I walked into that classroom on my first day of school. No doubt, I didn’t want to be there. Not just at that school or at that classroom: I just didn’t want to be in Seoul. The sudden move because of my dad’s work made me leave all the memories I had in Incheon in a month and as an innocent young child who was already happy with everything, I didn’t want to leave.

Alas, even my mother told me we had to go and that’s when I knew that moving was inevitable. School work was already hard as it was and I had to move to a big city where I knew no one, having to start all over again from the ‘Hi. My name is Lee Jaehyun. I hope we’ll get along well.’ really made me reach the peak of my mood swings during puberty.”

Jaehyun alternates his eye contact between you and the audience who reacts to the groom with happiness, and laughter as some of his closest friends give him encouraging, funny body language. He points them out and the said friends complain whilst the audience just laughs at the group of boys on the side of the stage. However, it was how you finally raised your head and laughed along that made Jaehyun join in as well.

“For the first few weeks, I didn’t make an obvious effort to fit in. As you know, I joined clubs and did after-school activities. Studying was still my priority at this point but even that became so mundane and boring that I crashed and burnt out after a while. But maybe, the burnout was just what I needed because that was how I first met you. Had I not cried in the corner of the library in the ironically ‘health and wellbeing’ section, would you have even spoken to me? Would you have crouched down and tapped on my shoulder to ask if I was okay? Would you have sat down next to me silently as you read your book, waiting for me to answer your question?

The answer is: yes. Or at least I would like to believe so.

Why? Because no one will fully ever understand how much I love you. Maybe if it wasn’t that day in the library, I would’ve met you later. How much later, nobody knows and nobody will ever know because I’m about to marry that girl who made my day so much better in the library. But what I do know is that no matter when, where, why or how we would’ve met, I would have still fallen in love with your smile, your pout, your laugh, and the way you cutely complain about how I mess up your bubble tea order,” Jaehyun gives you a cheeky smile and you just scoff with a smile on your face, “the way you would cry in my arms when you had a bad day, the way you would drop everything when I have a bad day, the way you would try your best to stay awake until I’m done with my other priorities. 

But bubs, I hope you’ll always know that you’ll forever be my first, most top priority.

Even as we fight, cry and shout at each other words that we don’t mean, I hope you’ll always be able to go to sleep thinking that I’ll still love you. I’ll still be right by your side when your insecurities come by and pass. I’ll always remind you that you’ll always be enough no matter what you do. Your best will always be enough and I hope I’ll always be that person who can be your safe, happy place.”

No doubt now that you’re sobbing and when you look at your parents sitting down not far from the stage, your heart does clench a bit as you’re reminded of your childhood. Seeing them cry over Jaehyun’s words does seem a little bit strange to you as they never really minded your words whenever you were struggling with life. But then you remind yourself of what Jaehyun said to you a few seconds ago.

“I know for sure that you’ll always be enough for me.” Jaehyun continues, taking your mind off your parents as he looks at you understandingly, “I love you and I know I’ll continue to love you until the day I take my last breath. I’ll take care of you even when you’re not sick or feeling well, cherish all of you and be there for you even after death because I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The recording ended there and Jaehyun relished in the way that your body stopped shaking, your arms around his waist securely and your breathing back to normal. He knows instantly that you feel better just from those small actions. He also didn’t miss the smile that grew on your face even though you were literally cuddled up against his body, “So,” the deep whisper from your husband only made you push your face even further up his body, now burying your face into his collarbone, “I just want to tell you that she will grow up beautifully just like her mother. Also, we’ll get through this together. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job after all.”

Nodding and burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck, you appreciate the way his words reminded the devil in the back of your head as it stomps off in defeat. The words supported the angel that finally won and it replaced the red creature, kicking the red light away to replace your body with a calming, soothing feeling that soon takes over your whole body, “I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too.” The warmth of the night overpowered the chilly night and the two of you held each other so lovingly that the weight of your eyelids eventually became too heavy for you to hold. Jaehyun waits patiently until sleep fully takes over you, fighting his yawn from escaping his mouth. Quietly, he just continued to stroke your exposed waist delicately, kissing your lips one last time before reminding you once more, “Always.”

It’s all very fortunate that your mind is now at ease and that you both were able to sleep after. But parenting duties call about half an hour later when cries are heard from the other side of the house and both your eyes open instantly. You were the first one to untangle your body from Jaehyun and you looked over to your husband who was still stirring himself awake again for the second time of the night as you both sat up on the bed, “I’m sorry.” You kiss him on the lips, cradling the back of his head and pushing his chest back down on the bed, “I’ll get her. Get back to sleep, Jae.”

“No no, I’ll go.” You disapprovingly groan at your husband who managed to push his sleepiness aside and sit up once again, his head hanging down in exhaustion, “Wha---bubs.” Instantly, you pushed him back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over up until his chin.

You adamantly tell your husband to try and go back to sleep. Jaehyun fakes his nod and closes his eyes, an idea popping up in his head as he plots to joke around with his wife. When you swing your legs over to the side of the bed, ready to stand up once more, Jaehyun quickly hugs you from behind, pressing a kiss on the back of your ear where you’re the most ticklish and sensitive. 

You froze at his actions and even though his sleepy voice was still evident, you could also hear all the love that he could offer you in this world with his playful tone, “Race you there, bubs.”

Jaehyun called in sick the next day.

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

that's him, that's just who he is | the boyz series introduction

"...and when I see him on my screen, no matter how things faded between us, I will always be able to put a smile on my face and tell them genuinely: that's him—that's the person who made a huge positive impact in my life. And when they ask back, "Really? How so?" I would simply shrug my shoulders and answer: that's just who he is—he's just capable of doing so."

» RELEASE DATE: as soon as possible! hopefully a week to a week and a half between each member! » WARNINGS (for this post—under 'keep reading' section): mentions of going through a tough time (not explicitly defined), healing and progress through the tough time (another warning will be mentioned if you do decide to read further! there is also a safe section after the gif) » WARNINGS (for the stories themselves): some have none, some do! but warnings according to the story will always be mentioned! navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist

ahhhh...where do i start?

i don't have a concrete idea/plan as to how this series is going to go yet. i don't have a story plan for each member yet either. all i have is the small indented idea and the sure idea that all the stories will be heavily inspired by each member's individual 'generation z' videos.

i'm pretty sure it will be a 'the boyz x reader' story series! currently, i'm settled with the idea that the reader is childhood/old friends with each member and they gradually drifted because life took them to different places. ultimately, the reader just looks back on their memories with each member. but, i don't think each story will be connected.

i was thinking of keeping a word limit of 2k for each story (we all know this isn't going to happen)

i chose the 'generation z' videos because i remember this being the videos that really 'pushed me' to stanning tbz. i've never seen these kinds of videos where idols talk openly about their feelings and i thought 'wait! i could implement this into a story!'

TRIGGER WARNING (safe after gif): mentions of going through a tough time (not explicitly defined), healing and progress through the tough time

addressing the 'personal healing project' part: i haven't been able to watch full videos and fully finish listening tbz related since august 11, 2023. today marks the 80th day that i've been stuck in the past and my own feelings.

long story short, something happened in my life and i had tbz content around me when the event occurred. unfortunately with tbz being there when it unfolded, everytime a song comes on or i see a picture of them, network of associations links me back to the event.

so i stopped listening, unfollowed tbz and all fan accounts specifically on instagram.

but thankfully for me...

i'm still able to write stories

i have seen improvement: able to see old pictures (day 18), unconsciously sung merry bad ending (day 26), consciously hummed lip gloss (day 37), finished up to the end of closer's second verse but backed out after (day 54), able to talk about tbz (day 66) etc.

it's been a hard journey but i have hope.

like changmin said in his 'generation z' video: still, i have hope. without hope, i don't think i can survive.

plus...i know that i still love and look up to the boyz so much.

because even though exposure therapy may still be too much for me now, the fact that time has done its work bit by bit, and i'm able to somewhat look at pictures of them, it means that i am healing.

this series...

is one of the topics that i wanted to 'experiment' with that i talked about in my about me page.

'generation z' pushed me into really stanning tbz and i just hope (and i hope endlessly) that maybe by going back to this video and implementing it to something i love (writing stories), that i'll be able to heal further.

tbz are having a comeback nov 20th! 🎉 i might not be able to follow them this comeback but please give them lots support!

as for this series...will you come along with me?

it's my first ever series ever since i started writing! i am so, very much excited!

i'll see you all soon!

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

that's him, that's just who he is | the boyz series masterlist

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction

lee sangyeon 🥭

jacob bae 🍐

kim younghoon 🍞

lee jaehyun | hyunjae 🎁

lee juyeon 🐱

kevin moon 🌙

choi chanhee | new 🐧

ji changmin | q 🐿️

ju haknyeon 🍊

kim sunwoo 🦝

eric sohn 🦄

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

especially to you... | series introduction

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist

"why are you writing?"

it's a question that i ask myself all the time as i'm working through my stories 💻 when i am making my banners 🎨 when i'm re-reading my stories 📖 when i'm casually walking 🎧 when i think of the (previous) day's events at 4am ☀️

like i said in my about me, i started because of english atar but i continued because i enjoyed it 💞

but then, i asked myself a more specific question:

"what kind of stories do you want to share?"

this series is centred around me 💐

the things i'm scared of 😞 the ones that have stopped me in life 😟 the regrets and the hardships 😡 that life has thrown at me.

what i hope to do is pair all of my hardships 🌧️ with something that makes me smile or leave me with a question/statement that i will hopefully be able to resolve soon ⛅ so kind of like classical and operant conditioning (this whole idea is inspired by the two) 🥹 by pairing the two, i hope that i'll be able to be calm whenever i think of the certain hardship and find the drive to face the world 🌍 with a stronger mindset 💪 i don't want to live in the past anymore 🔐

i really don't want to lose to my fears and anxiety anymore ❤️‍🩹

because life is unpredictable and will continuously throw me challenges, this series will never end.

the masterlist for this series will be a compilation of stories that i've written, marked with what hardship it's centred around and the thing that makes me happy 😊

here's to me who has held all the things in her heart all alone 🤝 i'm so proud of where you are now! 🫂 given the circumstances that you had to deal with and the things that you've had access to, look at you, smiling proudly as you look into the mirror 🥺 keep going, girl! 🥰

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series masterlist tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

especially to you... | masterlist

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction

☂ - angst | ♡ - fluff | ➳ - hurt/comfort | ⋆⁺₊ - suggestive | ʚ - external challenges | ɞ - internal challenges

this summer... | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae ☂ ♡ ➳ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy who has had a lot of physical changes ⛅: thank you for everyone who loves me for who i am and made me realise that i'm very swayed by society's ideologies

i'm home | tbz lee sangyeon ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ

🌧️: to the izzy who has had many opportunities to go overseas for hobbies and/or academic purposes but turned it all down ⛅: hearing how others had a good time abroad makes me hope that someday if the right time and place comes along, maybe it could be me too

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz kevin moon ☂ ♡ (just a little bit) ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy who was anxious that she wouldn't be able to get a chance to be on the stage ⛅: my favourite moon, kevin moon!

[17:58] | tbz kim sunwoo ☂ ➳ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy who is learning to hold on to the happiness that other people can give her and to live in the present moment with them ⛅: dbn loves

[03:21] | tbz kim sunwoo ♡ ➳ ʚ

🌧️: to the izzy that is going through a new journey in her uni life after thinking a lot about the new opportunity given ⛅: izzy, you 100% miss the chances you don't take. you're doing well. congratulations on getting this offer! hold onto hope and believe in yourself!

cupid's mistake | tbz kim sunwoo ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that's lost trust ⛅: not everyone is the same

"what do you think of flowers/bouquets?" | tbz ot11 text messages | hyung 🤍 98 🤍 maknae ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that is compared to delicate, fragile flowers ⛅: no flowers can grow without the sun and rain

that's him, that's just who he is | tbz choi chanhee | new ☂ ♡ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that is unhealthily obsessed with saving money to the point that misses out on a lot of things and regrets a lot of things ⛅: my favourite penguin and one of my favourite vocal timbre, choi chanhee!

[03:10] | tbz kim sunwoo ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the izzy that is scared and is stressed about sleeping ⛅: learning to take it step by step and accept that sleeping can be rewarding. thank you to my supportive friends!

yesterday's petal | nct na jaemin ☂ (slight ♡) ɞ

🌧️: everyone seems to fit in with each other so easily and so well ⛅: and even though i have friends close to me, who love me as i am, i sometimes can't help but wonder: someday, will i be left out?

every day is a lovely day... | tbz lee juyeon ☂ ♡ ➳ ɞ

🌧️: short reflections about all of earth's life forms and how we all go through different difficulties and challenges ⛅: being appreciative with the world

love me unconditionally | tbz kim sunwoo | teaser 🤍 full ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: to the me that is scared of being too much and too burdensome for others, stemming from other aspects of life that led to insecurity ⛅: if you find the right people, they would never make you feel that way

[21:15] | nct huang renjun ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ ɞ

🌧️: the the izzy who hated looking at the mirror ⛅: learning to love how to love every single part of me. thank you to my supportive friends!

[00:05] | nct na jaemin (scheduled!!)

🌧️: i'm living in a high-paced world where time doesn't and will never wait for me ⛅: and as much as i cry over that, i will keep continuing to do my best with every second that i get

one more chance | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae (coming soon!)

🌧️: to the girl who made another name for herself to forget all the traumas that was attached with her birth name ⛅: with the new and own-chosen name, the hope to heal and create more lifelong memories

untitled | tbz kim sunwoo (coming soon!) collaboration with @??

🌧️: to the girl who threw herself away to stick to the rules ⛅: may you learn to always listen to your heart and what it desires

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 series introduction

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿

cupid's mistake | tbz kim sunwoo

“Now that’s a mistake that I can live with.”

​PAIRING » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader (ft. nct's na jaemin) TROPE/AU » friends to lovers, non-idol au!, high school au! GENRE »​ THIS WAS SO FLUFFY UWU, but also add those angsts!!, SLIGHTLY suggestive (one makeout scene, sunwoo leaves kissing marks near your collarbones), love triangle...?, (kinda) slowwww burn, i love supportive and attentive sunwoo who gives so much love to the reader, MUTUAL PINING (they're both blind aye), sunwoo is an idiot because he PUSHES THE READER AWAY GRRR, cliché cause i live for this hehe, sunwoo babysits the reader's little bro (cutie sunwoo), sunwoo is the type to give the reader physical space because she's overwhelmed, reader blushing at sunwoo, a terrible attempt at comedy, oh...i think i'm in love with kim sunwoo again (i literally changed my bias to hyunjae like a month ago---) WORD COUNT » 13,061 (hi yes, izzy is entering her long wc era!!)​ ESTIMATED READING TIME » i'm scared to put this down 😭 forgive me!! WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!) » suggestive!!, reader is a lightweight (not sure if this is a warning), reader uses alcohol to distract herself (sunwoo will come to the rescue tho!; of legal age), reader has a bad schema for men, incredibly fast proofread once

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

hands down the hardest story i've EVER written (including my 40+ wips) and i stopped multiple times because it explores a huge part of my life that makes me super vulnerable. the internet may judge me after this but i'm going to stay strong for myself; they don't know what i've been through.

i'm glad that i have met idols who have at least helped my schema for men. mark lee, na jaemin, cho seungyoun (woodz), lee jaehyun (hyunjae) and kim sunwoo (sorry i was so harsh on you 😭 i'm very thankful for your existence no wonder what anyone else believes and thinks; and people can believe what they want to believe because i'm tired of trying to make them believe something else).

izzy...

if there is one internet trend (?) that you should take seriously, it's that: not all men are the same.

and you know that. you've seen it with your guy friends and the teachers that you were close to in high school. they're not like the ones who hurt you. i know you're scared and with what you've been through, i would like to at least believe that it's valid. i really hope that you keep going and keep fighting.

thank you for reading @heemingyu @mmoonbaee !! love our chaotic trio!! 🥰

You’ve rejected Kim Sunwoo before.

Twice, apparently.

It left the rest of your friend group flabbergasted when they heard that you did something so incredible. When asked why you rejected the friend that has stuck with you since the beginning of your hellish high school days, the only response you gave them was a fake smile with your eyebrows knitted together and your eyes roaming around the room, avoiding the intense (and totally unnecessary) curiosity in their gaze.

The truth is that you really do see why people fall in love with Kim Sunwoo.

You agree with the fact that he’s a romantic person and would absolutely take care of his partner well. You can vouch for this with the number of times he almost faceplanted on the very non-slippery cement when he saw you on the other side of the road, excited to finally see his dearest best friend. You can confidently vouch for him when he stubbornly gives his favourite hoodie for you to use, not hesitating to make sure you’re warm even though he knows he’s going to be bedridden. You can brag about your best friend’s selfless personality, telling them how Sunwoo went out of his way to comfort you along the beach at night when you said you were feeling empty.

Out of everyone in the world, you’re the one who knows best that Sunwoo has always been a caring person. Like that time when you both finally became adults and he waited for his first sip of alcohol to be with you. Embarrassingly, you’re much more lightweight than you both thought but even though Sunwoo could barely balance his steps, that didn’t stop him from giving you a piggyback ride walk to your house where he also really embarrassingly this time, actually faceplanted in front of your mother as he misses the step down the stairs when leaving.

So yes, you understand why people have massive heart eyes whenever he’s around.

But to you, he’s just your best friend. One that you hope would be there for you every step of the way even after you go on to the next chapters of your life.

The first confession was a quick one, a simple “Have you ever thought of dating me?” from Sunwoo and with a playful disgusted look, you simply respond with “Ew, no way.”

But the second one is more serious for Sunwoo. His heart was beating so fast that it was strong enough to make his whole body fall onto the ground; maybe it would’ve been better for the Earth to swallow him up so that he’d never have to face you ever again. He didn’t know what took over him and where the sudden urge came from but he meant every single word that he said—and the hues of red and pink on both his cheeks show his true feelings for you (which you missed).

But maybe Sunwoo overestimated how confident he could be around you because as soon as he sputtered “I like you. Should we start dating?” He saw the way your fingers stopped their aggressive tapping on the black squares of your keyboard, freezing and halting for a bit more before your shocked eyes met his nervous ones. Scared to ruin this perfect friendship that he already has with you, he backs out of his words, shaking his head and letting out his forceful rehearsed laugh that got you both kicked out of the library. Though the day could have been the start of something new, he still relished the way he managed to hear at least the rapid complaints fly out of your lips. You’ve been stressed out over the English essay that you’ve been so distant, so at least even though you beat him in a game or rock-paper-scissors for food, the empty wallet that he’s left with after, filled the loneliness in his heart.

Gosh even when you’re mad, he finds you adorable.

But it’s been three years since the second confession and now three years after, Kim Sunwoo is still next to you. Call him a loser—a hopeless romantic—but he would argue the term, telling the people around him that he has his reasons.

“What are we doing for Valentine’s Day?”

The question is not a weird one between you both. Maybe you should’ve said the just-friends boy and girl version of ‘Galentine’s Day’ or whatever the kids these days call it because Sunwoo’s heartbeat would always spike at the mention of the couple’s holiday. He’s always spent the day with you and how could you refuse when he assures you that you can leave your wallet at home?

In truth, he just didn’t want other people to take you out. He tried to fathom the image of you receiving that giant teddy bear, a heart-patterned bow around the neck and maybe the word ‘love’ embroidered on its fluffy white tummy. The only smile in his head is yours and the date that is not him, and he couldn’t help but notice the constricting muscle around his heart and the churning of his stomach.

Kim Sunwoo will always root for you. If your happiness is with someone else, then he wouldn’t dare to take that away from you. He just wants to let you know his true feelings someday—if he could.

Sunwoo swivels his chair around, a quiet hum gave out as an answer for now. He hasn’t thought much about this year, his part-time job and full-time high school student occupying his thoughts a bit too much more than he would like. Usually, he would have a list of things to do but as responsibilities piled up, the wants decreased and with how you’re practically stuck with each other either way, he manages to check off most of the things in his places to go list.

You’re unaware of the longing eyes that fixed upon you as you kept your eyes directed to the ceiling, phone raised above your eyes. You made yourself comfortable on Sunwoo’s bed, his blanket going past your chest and covering your lower body from the blasting air conditioner. Your arms are getting a bit sore but you just want to know if the main characters in the drama would kiss soo—

“Alright, that’s enough internet for you today.” The device is snatched out of your hands, your arms cheering in relief as they plop down on the bouncy material. In refute to his actions, your back straightens but everything happened in a quick three-second interval that you didn’t realise that Sunwoo was already bending down and your forehead collided with his. “Oh my Go—” Sunwoo exclaims, his butt hitting the floor in surprise.

“Serves you right!” You exclaim, begrudgingly rubbing the area with your palm. “Why were you so close?!”

“I was telling you stuff but you weren’t paying attention!”

“You could’ve shouted it!”

“I called your name thrice?!”

“Oh my God! Okay, what was it that you wanted to say?”

All words get stuck in his throat. Even though his head and bottom hurt with the two critical hits at the most unexpected time, he couldn’t help but shy his face away with the way you blew the loose strand that blocks your vision, paired with the slight jut of your little lip as you turn your attention to him.

Sunwoo stutters, gulping when he sees your raised eyebrows from the corner of his eye. “U-Up to you.” Another gulp and wandering eyes, “Is there nothing you want to do?”

“Oh but,” you recall the favour that your mum asked from yesterday. “My mum asked if I could babysit my brother because she has plans already.” Heaving an apologetic sigh, feeling bad for letting Sunwoo down.

“Hey no,” an idea comes to mind as he leisurely crosses his legs. “I love your brother! How about we just spend the day together with him?”

Your eyes narrow suspiciously to the comment he once made about kids, “I thought you said you hate kids.”

“No, I said I hate those who are cuter than me.”

A scandalous gasp from you, “Are you calling my brother ugly?! I’m telling him and my mu—”

“No!” Realising his mistake, he quickly untangles his legs and tackles you back down on the bed instantly, his bigger build toppling over yours easily. “That’s not what I meant! He's an exception!” It's unclear whether his sobs are real or not at this point. “Your mum loves me! Don’t do this to me!”

“Get off me, you stinky raccoon!”

The gym resonates with the squeaks of sixty-something shoes on its polished surface. The sound easily makes you squirm, hating that it screeches against your eardrums so violently. A chuckle is heard at the sight of the displeasure written on your face.

“Very annoying.” The honey-like voices your thoughts. “Would you like to borrow my headphones for a while?”

Instantly, you’re met with his popular gummy smile, the one that swoons everyone in your school. If people aren’t swooning over your best friend, they most probably are falling for the man who made himself comfortable next to the gym steps where you sat. His features are nothing like Sunwoo’s, softer and more approachable with the way his eyes sparkle even more with the help of the shine from above. Because this isn’t sport class, he wears his everyday uniform, his collar is properly presented and not a single speck of ramen soup makes its mark on the annoyingly white cotton. Even with the physical exercise he did, he still looks dashing and neat, wondering how his messy hair still looks attractive—but then again, men with messy hair have always captivated your heart. Jaemin’s kind personality is the final cherry on top and with how you usually have conversations like these when he’s benched or having a break, you’re certainly one of the girls who is attracted to him in no time. Your brown eyes travel further down his dazzling smile, to the black headset on his open palm.

A wave from Na Jaemin to your dazed face pulls you back to reality and you nod wordlessly to the question before. Like the gentleman he is, Jaemin doesn’t even ask you to turn to him but instead adjusts to your line of vision, slightly making the gap between the earpads bigger before resting the cushion perfectly for you. The way he did so was gentle, even tucking your hair strands behind your ear.

“Better?” Another wordless nod. Jaemin lets out an airy chuckle at your pursed lips, moving back beside you. “Here for Sunwoo?”

“And to kill time, I suppose.”

Your eyes wander back to the boy who’s working hard on the soccer field. It’s a usual routine for you to wait for his weekly soccer training so that you both can walk home together. Usually at this time, your nose would be buried in your textbooks, catching up on the work you missed due to the lack of sleep from the previous night. Usually, as well, the practice would be outdoors, the same squeaky sound being non-existent, the same one that ripped you out of your focus since the start of the practice round.

The whistle blares and the coach shouts at the team for a five-minute break. Sunwoo stops his jogging, hands on his knees as he leans to catch his breath while the rest of the team sends encouraging slaps on his back to their dear captain. Sunwoo sends a playful one back to their buttcheeks, the rowdy group enjoying the little gap before they have to get back in the zone. But this is when Sunwoo’s eyes fall upon his teammate and his best friend not too far away. His eyes soften at the way you just blink at Jaemin’s smile, betting that you’re not paying attention to a single thing that he’s saying. Unconsciously, he doesn’t realise how his hands clenched at the growing redness on your cheeks but Sunwoo doesn’t look away even when he walks to get his water bottle.

“Oh.” Eric teasingly remarks. “That’s not a good look, Sunwoo.”

“Shut up.” He mumbles back to his closest teammate. Even though he forces his back on you, he can’t help but steal obvious lovesick glances back.

“Jaemin said he’s going to ask your dearest bestie out on a date for Valentine's.”

Sunwoo tries his best not to let the comment get to him. “Well, she’s busy already.”

“With you?” Eric questions his trailing voice. “The guy she rejected?”

“Shut up!” Sunwoo groans to the boy, swinging his arm around his neck for a headlock. “You’re actually so annoying, Sohn. The whole cohort knows because of you!”

The poor boy begs for mercy, sending hits to his friend’s stomach. And Sunwoo does let go, poking his tongue out at the boy after. Overdramatically, Eric sends one back, calling mischievous names to the boy who is looking over to you once more. He couldn’t force himself to look away from the vital information that Eric said. Without knowing, his feet stride over to you both, finally catching the words from Jaemin’s moving lips.

“Can I take you out on Valentine’s Day? Are you free?”

Sunwoo sees the gears turning in your head and he pleads that you would reject the offer, pleading that you didn’t forget your words from last night. He’s looking forward to the day, especially when he researched a bunch of things that your brother likes, combining with the things you like to make sure the day will be well spent. But the breath he takes stops at his throat when you just continue to stare at Jaemin with wide eyes. Sunwoo might’ve imagined it, but he swears he could see the corner of your lips rising, your head probably thinking of a fun, romantic date with Jaemin.

It’s obvious to him even on the other side of the gym, that Cupid has shot his arrow.

“Yeah.”

The answer didn’t come from you, the response was too deep to be your timbre. The headphones did their job well, masking Sunwoo’s steps and leaving you confused by the clear and loud answer he gave. Excited at the confirmation of your empty schedule, Sunwoo’s heart churns at the way Jaemin excitedly holds your hands, turning your confused head tilt to him into another blushing one. Unfortunately, you were unable to say a word to any of the two boys, the coach beckoning everyone in the team over for the final part of their practice.

Faintly, you hear Jaemin saying that he’ll contact you and that you can return his headphones tomorrow in class. You just watch the way Jaemin hops back to the rest of the team while Sunwoo follows closely behind, his shoulders slightly slumping as he drags his feet to make that noise you hate.

The walk home isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Sunwoo acts like the gym didn’t happen and you raise your eyebrows at his suspicious actions of him walking slightly in front of you even though he still talks about the parts of the day when you weren’t with him. With the slight gap, you observe the way his front bangs slump over his vision, covering his sullen eyes. The hands inside his pockets continue to tense and he tries his best to ignore the obvious crease between your eyebrows. He doesn’t even question the short answers you came up with in his storytelling. Even now as you arrive at your front door, Sunwoo doesn’t bring the topic up, choosing to send his usual smile and ‘see you tomorrow’.

But you refuse to let his actions go. “What was that all about back there?”

It puts Sunwoo’s feet rooted to the ground and he feigns an innocent look. “You know,” he starts now with a smirk on his face, “Na Jaemin could totally figure out that you have the biggest crush on him with the way you looked at him with those googly eyes of yours.”

“I do not have googly eyes when I look at Na Jaemin!”

“Sure, you don’t.” Rolling his eyes, “You were close to drolling over him back there.”

You could tell that he was just avoiding the subject and prolonging touching it until you just let it go. “Sunwoo.” The tone of your voice tells him that you're seriously looking for answers, “Why’d you say that back there? I thought we were babysitting my brother together?”

“It’s fine.” He swats his hand in the air. “You go have fun and I’ll look over the child myself.”

“But I—”

“Can you just stop complaining and go in? I’m tired from practice.” Sunwoo cuts you off, turning the doorknob and pushing you in with small strength. “See you tomorrow!”

He does close the door on your face, ignoring the inhale you take and walking away before you start rebutting his words. But with that, you also missed telling Sunwoo of your mum who stands leisurely behind him and when your mum greets him, Sunwoo gets the scare of his life, yelping and crouching to the floor, a hand over his chest.

“Serves him right for cutting me off twice.”

At this time, you didn’t realise the ache in your heart, too busy chuckling at his misery as your mum helped the poor boy before he disappeared out of your sight with multiple polite bows.

Now, Sunwoo is left to wallow in his stupidity. The devil in his head even shakes his head disapprovingly and the angel desperately tries to cheer him up, telling him that everything will be fine but it has no effect on the distraught boy. He lets out all the swear words that he knows, mumbling them to himself, criticising his past actions. A headache starts to form and he is unable to walk a straight line on the well-leveled road.

“You’re an idiot, Kim Sunwoo.”

He replays the earlier scene. The way your eyes fall on Jaemin fondly, the way all words seem to be lost when he speaks to you and the way you freeze when Jaemin holds your hand in his. His feet stop dragging on the stone when he spots an ice cream truck and the sweet fragrance of your favourite flavour. Even with small things like this, he thinks of you.

He observes the two friends who approach the vehicle, recognising the uniform as the same as the ones he has on. Judging by the satisfaction on the girl’s face and the complaints of the boy, Sunwoo assumes that the shorter one probably won a bet or something. His mind wanders to you once more, the dynamic of his two underclassmen similar to the one he shares with you.

More calm and accepting that he has probably lost you to Na Jaemin, if asked why he still chooses to stick with you after two rejections, Kim Sunwoo can.

The fastest and simple answer is that you don’t have a good schema for love. It was shattered the moment that you found out that your dad cheated on your mum four years ago. Your family fell apart shortly after your dad packed everything and left, leaving your mum alone as the sole parent when you were still trying to fully understand the world around you.

The rest of the world doesn't see how the separation affected you. However, Sunwoo was there during the times when you cried your eyes out, taking the frustrated punches on his chest, when you declared that you would never fall in love, scared of falling into the same fate as your mother especially when your dad has always voiced out that he loves his family and would always stay with them.

The world doesn't see how you hide behind his reassuring back whenever a male is too close for your liking. They don't see how you practically hold onto his arm with anxiety after a person confesses to you even though you're thankful that they look at you fondly. They don't see the fear in your eyes like Sunwoo has seen every single part of it.

When you would tease each other, like the time when he tackles you onto the bed, that's an exception. Sunwoo has always paid attention to your actions, both conscious and unconscious. He knows all about when you and when to keep his distance.

Thirty centimetres, sixty sometimes, and he would always wait for you to close the gap, stealing glances behind to make sure you were still following. Ninety-nine point nine per cent of the time, you would pick up your pace and Sunwoo would purposely slow down and the gap between the side of his arm and body would get bigger with each step you grow closer to him. When you clutch onto his arm again, he sends you that understanding gaze, mouthing a little 'hi' or 'hello' before facing forward again with newfound happiness.

The other point one is you asking if he could come back to stand beside you. But again, he would never ever touch you first and even when you arrive at your doorstep with no progress, Sunwoo would still look at you, reminding you of how proud he is and winks playfully to lift the corners of your lips before sending his 'see you tomorrow' still with happiness as his main aura.

It breaks Sunwoo’s heart whenever he sees you like that. That's the reason why he took his second confession back.

So when Kim Sunwoo, selfless and rooting for your genuine happiness, sees the different gaze that you send Na Jaemin, he can’t help but push his feelings aside. Plus, Na Jaemin is a good guy so he feels more reassured setting you up with the ace striker in the soccer team.

Cupid frowns down at the boy, his wings flapping sadly at the fake smile he puts on as he continues his walk home. It’s strange how he found himself sad for the dejected boy.

“Truly an idiot you are, Kim Sunwoo.”

Back home, you rewarded yourself with a warm shower. Though your physical body was able to let loose under the light sprinkles, your eyes couldn't help but mix in the metallic water with your salty ones. The water pressure manages to swallow most of your cries but the mirror doesn't lie when you see your red eyes after.

The gulp you took is painfully dry, tired from the tears from earlier. Your reach for the bathrobe is slow, letting the air cool touch your slightly red skin after the temperature. “At least he made it clear that he doesn't like me in that way.”

The knocks against the nearby room beckons a ‘Come in!’ from you and you quickly run the sides of your fingers on your eyebags as soon as you register the young boy from the mirror.

“Sis!” Dashing towards you, headbutting your back, “I heard Ddeonu hyung will be here tomorrow night!”

It's endearing to see how the news makes the little one jump, both his hands on your arm for support. A hand ruffles his already messy nest, “Be good tomorrow, okay?”

And the response morphs the smile upside down, “You’re not gonna be with us?”

Overloading with cuteness, you couldn't help but swivel around on your vanity chair towards your sibling, your hands pressing his cheeks, “With or without me, you're going to be with Sunwoo all day anyways!” Remembering all the times when he preferred to be in Sunwoo’s arms over yours, “Just don't make the poor raccoon run around too much, okay? He's getting old.”

“Does that mean he will fly to the cloud soon?”

“No, no.” Making a mental note to tell Sunwoo and imagining the way his jaw would drop at the wild question, “He's just old and tired now.”

Though confused at the repeated answer, the child seems to let it go, shrugging in satisfaction anyway at the plans for tomorrow. The smile upturned once more and you lift the boy much to his happiness, kicking his legs when you adjust his posture on your vanity table.

“Makeup!” He exclaimed about the objects around him, open palms to mimic a twinkling motion in the air.

“Makeup!” You echo, grabbing the cushion foundation. “Do you want to make me into a Princess?”

Obviously, he would not reject the offer, snatching the round object into his palm and patting the powder onto your neck.

“I'm going to make you the prettiest sister ever and raccoon hyung won't be able to take his eyes off you!”

Cupid shakes his head once more, his belly lying on the puffy cloud. He rests his chin on his palm, wondering how the similar-sized boy is more likable to him than the two blind adults—but it's obvious because he's not the stupid one.

“Well,” clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth, “this one is an idiot too.”

Leading up to Valentine's Day, you thought at the very least you could spend the missed day with Sunwoo but he's more than adamant about pushing you to Jaemin. Whenever he saw a window of opportunity, he would call the boy over, a big waving motion from his hand in the air.

Whenever Jaemin spots you, every part of his face lights up and yours is supposed to reciprocate the stars in his eyes. But how could you even see it when all you see is the whole universe in Sunwoo’s ones instead?

The realisation that it has always been Sunwoo scares you and it terrifies you even more that the same boy who has always given his heart to you is making the gap between you both larger, further away, more and more within arms reach for your comfort. At first, it was confusion but then every part of your aching heart just longed for his presence beside yours once more.

Jaemin reminds you of the date one last time, the final text before you part ways at the school entrance is bolded, italicised and underlined. And Sunwoo? He intruded the house way earlier than everyone expected but judging from the open arms from your mother and the way you could hear your brother’s shrieking from the other side of the house, it's obvious that you’re the only one who’s dreading the early visitor.

Speaking of the visitor, your brother made himself comfortable by sitting on his neck, hands gripping his hair to make two little pigtails. Seeing Sunwoo fit right into your family from the very start has always been heartwarming and you would've told your brother to pull on two tails if you weren't busy avoiding his eyes from the mirror.

“Look!” Sunwoo gasps to your brother, finger pointing to you, “Your sister is so pretty, isn't she?”

And it became ten times harder to keep your tears from falling.

“Thanks.” You managed to seeth out from gritted teeth.

“Come on! You're going to be late.” Reminding you of the long hand of the clock reaching the top of the circle when Jaemin promised to pick you up. “Which bag are you using?”

It's heartbreaking to see him just walk past you after the compliment, whistling leisurely as he looks through the pile of bags on the side hook of your wardrobe. You found yourself looking down at your lap, trying to shake off the nervousness and anxiety in your mind. You try your best to focus on the tension of your gripping fists, letting go and repeating to ground yourself back. The tears are starting to blur your vision but you push the sleeves of your outerwear over your knuckles and smudge them away.

The way that Sunwoo still entertains your brother as he takes the body of the bag in your direction, humming intently to see if the colour of your outfit will clash with the accessory, brings your emotions to their peak and you just want to run away from this situation. He settles on one, a victorious exclamation falling from his lips and begins stuffing your necessities himself.

“Phone,” checking off the mental list, “keys and wallet.” Your brother pointing at the lone lipstick left at the centre of the painted surface, “Ah! This too!” Putting the closed cylinder inside the small purse before the metal zips and is carefully balanced on your shoulder.

Your thankful mutter didn't go unheard by Sunwoo and so did the tinge of makeup on the sleeve that you used when he looked away for a brief moment.

“Hey!” Sunwoo cranes his head to speak to the younger, curious eyes. “Why don't you go on ahead first and pick what ramen you want?”

The kicking of his heels against his chest made him wince a bit, quickly putting your younger brother where he dashes off with his favourite food.

Throughout the whole exchange, it once again confirms the fact that Sunwoo is truly loving to the people around him. The way that he tries not to disappoint your brother, even if there are probably bruises forming from his kicking, the way that he peels his head out to make sure your brother is taking careful steps to the kitchen and finally, the beaming but adoration in his eyes when he finally lands on the casual outfit you're wearing.

“Wow.” A breathless chuckle, head empty with the sight of you.

His cheeks flushed and he couldn't help but stare at your stunning choice of outfit—if hoodies and no makeup could make his heart jump out of his chest, then he should go to the hospital because of your off-the-shoulder white top paired with the beige pleated skirt and cardigan.

“Okay?” You ask timidly, “L-Like, do I look okay?”

“You're stunning.” He says truthfully that your body goes numb, looking away from the sparkles in his eyes.

Now, that's new. “Hey…” Taking steps towards you, “What's wrong?”

But your heart is fighting so hard that you feel like you're about to give up. If Sunwoo is going to reject you, then you just want him to do it so that you can forget about all this and just go back to pretending that you will never have heart-shaped eyes for Kim Sunwoo ever again.

“Y-You’re okay with this?” The leather of your bag crinkles at your gripping question.

“Yeah,” Sunwoo answers. “Don't worry. Jaemin is a great guy.”

Your eyes widen at the comment, “No, I-I know that bu—”

But Sunwoo suddenly zooms into your face, even bending his back to make sure that you wouldn't miss the pout on his handsome face. His eyes landed on your lip-touched makeup, “Wait, can I have your lipstick? Let me retouch it for you.”

You couldn't even refute, feeling the cooling pink painting your lips, contrasting the palm on your cheek that steadies the delicate work on your lips. Why did he bother asking if he was just going to retrieve it himself? You're thankful Sunwoo can't multitask, missing the glimmer in your orbs as you try your best to keep your lips from shaking like your legs are slowly becoming. It’s clear that he didn’t know how to properly manoeuver the brush on your lips but you find yourself forgiving him even if your lips become a mess after this.

The defeated groans from his lips only made your heart swell and you take your time to look at him as if you’ve never done so before; from his eyelashes that flutter prettily, to his tongue that pokes out in concentration, it’s crazy how handsome someone can be when he's not doing anything special. The pads of his finger spread the colour, smacking his lips as a sign for you to copy which you eventually do.

“Done!” And just when your heart thought it could finally get a break, Sunwoo decides to play with it a bit more, fishing out a snap hair clip. His hands smooth any bumps that aren’t visible to the naked eye. A hand holds the side of your head gently, the other sliding the gift across your scalp carefully. “Alright, now let’s go!”

Your tears are so incredibly close to flowing but the lights of your room die like every hope of telling Sunwoo that you’re not as excited as he is for the night to come. But if this is Sunwoo’s way of completely rejecting any romantic feelings for you, then what can you do except to trudge down your hallway where even your brother wishes that you would have a fun time? The smile on your lips doesn’t reach your eyes when both boys remind you not to come home late in addition to Sunwoo’s “Text or call me if you need anything!”

You spare a final glance at the two, sombre smile plastered on your face. The last face you see is Sunwoo’s whose eyes still held on a smile even though yours has been wiped away. Maybe it was supposed to encourage you or maybe it’s nothing and you’re just reading too deep into it but if there’s one thing you know is that the night with Jaemin, even though he is a well-mannered man, a gentleman inside and out, your head couldn’t help but wish that it was Sunwoo who took you to the arcade, making sure your arms are filled with snacks and drinks.

You wished that after that, no one was there to pull your chair out, instead laughing at the way you almost tripped on air while trying to sit down. You wished that you could’ve just stared at the menu in contemplation and for Sunwoo to just choose for you so that he could silence the growling in his stomach.

Cursing the famous day as well, seeing the love around you, the couples enamoured by their partners all around you, it only made the guilt inside grow further.

By the time the night is spent, Jaemin knows that his feelings aren't reciprocated. First, it's the way you ask him to repeat his words multiple times. Second, it's the way that your eyes are blank, just your orbs staring into space. Third, it's the way that you try to discreetly check your smartwatch for notifications from your best friend at your home.

“I'm sorry.” Jaemin chuckles in response after he softly calls you out.

The boy shakes his head, hands inside his pants pockets. “I knew that you didn't like me. I guess I just wanted a chance to maybe change that once.” But then he sighs an understanding sigh, closing his eyes before fluttering them back at you, “but you're too far gone into your feelings to realise what I've been doing.”

Your eyes welled up with tears, apologetic at his words and Jaemin couldn't do much but give words of comfort after you explicitly stumbled away from his reaching hand, asking for physical space. You mutter a million apologies for today but Jaemin is respectful, convincing you that the friendship between you both won't change and that eases your mind.

“Should I text Sunwoo?” He carefully asks. “To pick you up.”

A shake of your head is what had Jaemin’s eyebrow furrowing. “It’s okay. I’ll text him right now.”

And though your makeup is a mess, transferring onto the sleeves of your cardigan more, Jaemin still thinks you're stunning, the clenching of his heart intensifying at the glitter you still managed to hold. Jaemin leaves you alone in a convenience store near your favourite beach and somehow, you manage to convince him to go on ahead first, leaving your thoughts alone in the night of love.

Your feet routinely take you along the beachside, taking shelter at the convenience store for a while, grabbing drinks and food to aid your broken heart. When you crouch for the bottle at the bottom shelf, your mind just has to remind you that someone wouldn't even let you do this, always protecting you from any wardrobe malfunction.

Your knees finally give out and the back of your thighs meet with the back of your lower leg. Your hands only clutche on the neck of the green bottle while you hide your distressed face behind the curtains that your hair made.

Thinking of it all infuriates you.

Why can't you just be more trusting towards others? Believe that not all of them are out to ridicule or make fun of you.

“Sunwoo…” You couldn't help but mumble as your tears finally painted your beige skirt darker.

Thankfully you were able to keep your emotions somewhat at bay, straightening your posture with the cooling drink in one hold. The cashier could only offer you an encouraging speech and an empathetic smile as soon as she saw the trail on your cheeks. The gesture is needed but the anxiety still weighs on your chest deeply. She must've thought that you've gone through a huge breakup on this unfortunate pinky day but you think the internal agony is worse.

For the last few hours or so, Sunwoo has been updating you with your baby brother through pictures. If only the pictures were just about the younger one and not a duo picture that once again shows that Sunwoo is a keeper when it comes to babysitting. The device is stashed in the bag that he chose from you earlier but if you could, you could honestly feed it to the sharks on the beach in front of you.

The wind provided you company, hitting your red apple-coloured cheeks to balance your rising temperature. You knew you shouldn't drink alone especially when the moon was high in the sky but you couldn't help but bask in the tide that hit the sand, pulling everything back into the body of water.

The tips of your toes are drenched and you would usually be running further away as soon as water hit your ankles but you didn't want to. It’s times like these that you’re thankful for the invention of safety shorts as you're able to sit in any posture you like without worrying. Your knees constantly bend and straighten, dragging the sand along with it and at this point, you've created a shallow hole.

“I mean,” you slur, “I’m so comfortable with Sunwoo so why can't I be the same with the others?” your eyes could only shut in self-contempt from today’s date, “And Jaemin was so respectful to me too…”

It’s frustrating that you can't trust others when they've done nothing wrong. The only thing that responded to the strike down your cheek was the last drop of liquid courage; now even objects have started mocking you.

“I have to stop relying on him,” a hiccup and a humourless laugh. “When he gets a girlfriend…” the thought cracks your heart into pieces and your knee grows closer to your chest, “Gosh, what am I doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

The deep voice and a couple of deep breaths made you turn back so quickly that you fell over sideways. The boy momentarily scolds you even more, grumbling, pointing at your ruined shoes tossed aside in the sand and exhaling whilst turning his head away to catch a break from the soaked ends of your outerwear. When the worry envelops him again, Sunwoo takes a better look at your state.

His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth loudly and the crease between his eyebrows only deepens each time his eye focuses to another part of your face.

“Did you drink?! Alone?! I told you not to drink without me!”

His initial volume made you jump a bit, especially with how he directly circles behind you to pick up the discarded, lonely bottle. Sunwoo's nagging continues, crouching beside you to your eye level with the bottle making tunes from the wind. The pout answers him, along with the way your fingers fiddle on the hem of your sleeves. You had no intention of voicing out the answer now that he knows so you just say something else.

“You actually came…”

The ‘something else’ did make his ramble stop and his intense features started to soften and melt away when your words hit him.

“Of course, I came.” Reassurance above the whispering wind, “You texted me.”

Your lips couldn't even gape open with a response because Sunwoo takes a couple of steps back, away from you. Though his body is still facing yours with his shoes pointing at you and arms around his knees, the safe distance is what makes your head hurt at the many things you could say to him.

“Did you put him to sleep?” You opted for this conversation instead.

Sunwoo’s nods just got in your peripheral vision, but your nod is the centre of his.

You let the wind break you even more, not even raising your hand to move the strands that became trapped between your lower and upper eyelids, tickling your eyes when it finally is freed. Without a doubt, you know that Sunwoo is just watching you patiently, waiting for you to tell him to drop you home or to at least talk about the night whether it be his or yours. Your nervous system couldn't help but relax in his presence.

Inside, Sunwoo wants something from you too. An indication to move further and to close the thirty-centimetre gap he has created. Just anything so that he could finally leave the coldness that nips at his trembling skin. His bangs brushes over his sight but he still has a clear view of you. The side of his head only rests on his arm as he just stares at you, humming a tune that hopefully reaches you.

“Woo.”

“Hm?”

“Do you like someone?”

A series of stuttering and unsure hums came from him. Your knees push against your chest hard, burying your head between them. Soon enough, you're convinced that the pressure is what kept your heart together after the affirmative answer.

“I…” Here goes nothing, “was supposed to be with her today and maybe ask her out officially but she had other plans and so did I.”

“Oh.” You didn't know if he heard it. You kind of wished he didn't because of how sore your throat suddenly feels. “I’m sorry, I should've been the one to take care of my brother inste—”

“She was busy too,” Sunwoo repeated, words clearer and punctuated. “It doesn't matt—”

“Will I be able to trust anyone again?”

“W-Wha—”

“Will someone ever love me the same way that you love her?”

The thoughts haunt you every night when you're asleep and now that you finally share it with someone, you lose yourself in the alcohol and blurt out the impulsive thoughts.

“W-Whoa.” Sunwoo nervously chuckles. “Did the date really go that ba—”

“Do I know her?”

“Ye—”

“Tell me. Let me make sure she's a good person.”

The only response you get is a low groan and sigh; both from Sunwoo and the guardian Cupid above you both. The moonlight twinkles the curve of the forgotten bottle but it reminds Sunwoo that you're not in your right state of mind and that you're just pressing to get the thoughts out of your head rather than truly looking for answers.

For the first time, Sunwoo took action, dusting his clothes from the damp sand. You merely watch with half-hooded eyes as he strides against the swallowing sand, your head slowly turning from the side to the front where he settles himself. Sunwoo gives you a soft tug of the corner of his lips and his dancing bangs only make him all the more attractive. He tests the waters, holding his hand out to reach yours, permission to touch you through his gaze. When you nod, he doesn't hesitate to share his body warmth starting from his bigger palms, relieved at how you seem to let out a breath that you have been holding.

“Deep breaths, bubs.”

The nickname makes you swoon and makes his instructions unclear. Though the pounding on the side of your head makes it hard for you to morph Sunwoo’s clone together, the name managed to at least get your attention. With this, he didn’t mind the way his clothes drank the seawater when he kneeled, even dragging his fabric across the surface. Sunwoo responds with a jut of his lower lip when you just shoot him a glare but your act disappears when he opens his arms wide. Without any further hesitation, your forehead rests on his chest. One of his hands cups the curve of your waist and the other threads through your silky hair. The act makes your body shudder and you find your arms start to hold his middle even tighter when he collects your hair and tosses it over to a side, his palm now covering your whole nape.

“You’re alright.” Sunwoo muses. His diverts to yours and maybe you’re just imagining the adoration dripping from his eyes but you couldn’t help to speak a bit of your mind.

“You're doing it again…”

“Doing what?”

You didn't give him a verbal answer, the shake of your head and the whines you gave were enough for him to just embrace you into his presence. Sunwoo hides you from the world when he sees the tears brimming across the eyes that he’s fallen for. Daring, he presses a kiss on the top of your head, smiling fondly at your more balanced breathing.

“Let’s go home?” The shake of your head made Sunwoo rake for more ideas. “Wanna have a sleepover at my house then?”

“No.” Muffled answer from his chest. “You’re just going to make me sleep on the floor.”

“Hey! You lost the bet last time! Don’t blame your skill issue with rock-paper-scissors on me!”

“Fine then! I’ll just stay here for the rest of the night!”

Oh, he's so in love with you. Sunwoo only coos, his heart fluttering and content when you respond to the playful war that he wages.

“I’ll let you take the bed.” A raised eyebrow is what you offer him with when you crane your head and Sunwoo could tell the suspicion that you had against his words. “I’m serious!”

“Really?”

A roll of his eyes and a scoff, “As if I’ll let you take the floor knowing that you’ll be hungover tomorrow.”

“Well,” a shaky inhale, “you could.”

“Yeah?” This time it’s his turn to have an eyebrow raised. “Why would I do that?”

“Because when you go off and date someone, you won’t be able to keep doing whatever this is.”

“Yeah?” He repeats himself, desperate for a little bit more of your feelings. At least let me down properly, he thinks to himself. “And what happens if I don’t want to put my focus on someone else? What happens if I just want to keep focusing on you? What happens if I just want you in my life and no one else?”

Now, Sunwoo’s hands grip a hold on your upper forearm and pull you away from his body. The moonlight finally reaches your face and Sunwoo observes you thinking, his eyes boring into yours, silently pleading for some sort of indication that would end the pink and red swirls in his eyes whenever he catches even a glimpse of your figure.

“Then I would tell you that I like you and that I have for the longest time.”

Are drunken thoughts still sober thoughts in this situation?

Sunwoo’s head dips dangerously close and it takes everything in him to not press his lips onto yours. If you even allowed any words that imply that he may have taken your heart, he told himself he would look away even if it meant burying himself into the ground and never seeing civilisation ever again. The struggle is written all over his face: the tight wrinkles around his eyes that accommodate the crashing of his eyebrows, the protective hold he has on you and the way he presses his forehead onto yours with his hair tickling you, quiet exhales leaving his lips.

“Please don’t do this to me,” he pleads, “You’re drunk and I’m trying to not cross the line.”

“Cross it…” Mellow and enchanting. “I give you my consent.”

“Don’t.” He grits and tries to still his heart. “I can't…”

“Kiss me, Woo.”

Sunwoo swore that his heart almost leapt out of his chest when his eyes shot open, immediately growing bigger with how you nudged the tip of your nose to his. His temperature receptors feel the shift of the warmer air growing closer to his lips and he can’t help but focus on the way your eyelids flutter close.

The attraction is fatal and so is the small distance left. Unconsciously, even though it’s wrong, he couldn’t help but adjust his position, wanting to claim you as his even if it’s just for a while. Just when your lips are mere millimetres away from touching, Sunwoo denies the touch of heaven, the angel inside gets his hands to fly and block the intimate act with his fingers. A hand cups your cheek, tracing along your jawline and a thumb slots in between your plump lips from reaching his. His breath hitches when you peek at the smooth surface, void of the curves that you were expecting. He watches the stars fade from your eyes, replacing them with a wall that he couldn’t decipher.

Through his eyelashes that flutter quietly and the painful gulp, he prompts you once again, “Let’s go home.” More resolute and grounded than before. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”

The thumb did leave the presence on your cupid’s bow but lingers at your lip’s bottom edge. Sunwoo watches as your lips bounce back after he lightly pulls it down and he sees the dullness from your eyes with every single second that passes. He shoves his sleeves past his fingertips, wrapping the grey around his pointer and starts to collect your confusion on his sleeves.

“I-I’m sorry.”

He could tell it was genuine and he assumed that you might’ve sobered up a little bit within the last couple of seconds. Sunwoo met your forehead once again with his thumb that still held you like you were as fragile as the glass bottle that had been discarded.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going to leave you. Don’t even bother to think of those things ever again.” He reassures your muddled-up mind. “I’m going to pick you up, okay?”

Between your hazy vision and the churning of your stomach, the only indication you could give is a nod and outstretched arms towards his now-standing figure. Sunwoo adoringly chuckles, bending down and supporting your weight by scooping you up by your waist. He kept your body close to his even when he turned around and kneeled, patting his back for you to slump over.

Out of energy, your arms lazily dangled during the walk, elbows resting on his shoulders during the whole walk. Truth be told, his back aches because you couldn’t get a proper grip on him but he knows as soon as he straightens his back to a more comfortable position, you might actually hit your head and wake up in the hospital. The walk back to his car is quiet, chattering filling the background noise. If you’re awake, you can feel the shaking of his thighs as he carefully rests you on the cushioned seat, an arm coming over his head onto the back of yours as a safety measure from the upper door frame. Without a single sound from you, he successfully buckles you securely in the front seat. Your coat is gently undressed from you to be used to cover your legs, the short skirt only makes you shiver in the night.

“Why do cars always sound so loud?”

Sunwoo complains when he twists the car key to start the engine. His eyes fall to you again, observing your sleeping figure who is unaware of the little jumps and loops his heart made. His pointer reaches over to the loose strands that tickle the front of your face. From the back of your ear, he holds his breath at your slightly gaped lips that pull him closer, drawing him nearer to share a kiss with you. Why did you have to look so stunning despite the reeking alcohol that only becomes stronger in the small space?

Though faint, his reflection from the front window stares at him and he can’t help but sink further into the seat, wanting to hide and run away from himself. “Will you ever look at me the same way?” he grumbles hopelessly into the palms that shield him from reality before driving towards his house.

The exhaustion from the eventful day finally washes over him as soon as he parks his car in one go. Usually, you would give an impressed look and Sunwoo would wiggle his eyebrows when you only scoff at his achievements. The connecting door to his house opens, throwing his things inside the hallway without much thought before jogging back to your side. His eyes narrow, concentrating on making as minimal noises as he can whilst opening the metal surface that separates you and him. A hand pushes on the door while the other does the contrasting action with the handle to avoid the loud click that vehicles make. Thankfully your head isn’t resting on the door, something that he made sure didn’t happen so that you could rest in his house without the bumps of the road lifting your head and slamming it back down due to ruthless gravity.

And as much as Cupid’s curly blonde hair is between all the sides of his fingers, he mastered the art of patience and ‘trusting the process’ as he took a series of deep inhales.

Throughout the whole time, Cupid is impressed at how blind you both prove to be. It’s obvious now as he pays attention to the way Sunwoo treats you and the way that you desperately clutch on his jacket that you both are more than best friends. He ponders if he should shoot another arrow even though the initial one he shot is showing progress.

In this line of work, where he’s used to shooting, and observing for a while before going to another potential couple, he seems to be stuck with the couple in front of him. Up until now, he has never thought to shoot the second arrow that is reserved for a couple that makes him look away distastefully. He’s never met one that makes him take them out of their trance as it’s obvious it became more bad than good for them but what he’s twirling in his hand is not that.

But he starts to think about his decisions whenever you're hurting because of the world and he starts to think of the shatter in Sunwoo’s heart whenever he's around you.

Is it worth it to have you both come together?

“But you know,” the arrow stops between his pointer and thumb, the crest hitting the perimeter of the stationary cloud. Cupid continues to peer over the two, finding himself squealing with the way Sunwoo continues to make teasing jokes to make sure you don’t fall asleep behind the bathroom door while brushing your teeth and changing into your favourite hoodie of his. “I don’t think shooting one towards these two will do much.”

He smiles knowingly, completely immersed in the way that Sunwoo hops over to cradle your head into his chest as soon as you open the door. Your mind is still under the scorching forty percent but you didn't miss the way Sunwoo’s fingers rub on your exposed thigh when he brings you to his bed bridal style.

And if he shoots another arrow?

Oh, Cupid knows that you’re both more than just teenagers in love. Especially in your case, terrified, and for Sunwoo who just wants to see you happy—another arrow means nothing if you both don’t learn and figure out this obstacle yourselves.

With Sunwoo’s help, you’re snugged underneath his blanket, pulling it up to your nose, just the way you like it. The laundry detergent brings you rest, and your brain immediately relaxes as it associates the scent with safety. Your body rests on its side and you watch Sunwoo as he takes a kneeling position on the side of his bed, taking his hand to yours while his other forearm rests on the bouncy futon. The act makes his heartbeat increase once more. “Sunwoo.” The boy only keeps his affectionate eyes on yours while he strokes your hair. “Thank you for picking me up.”

The brushes of his thumb on the back of your palm could lull you to sleep. “Can I sleep on the living room couch today then?” Mischievously suggesting, knowing how much you would complain about leaving you alone in the room for the whole night.

The question makes you pout awake again, “You’re going to leave me?” Maybe you weren’t up for the joke and Sunwoo smiles sadly, clearing his throat and shaking his head assuringly.

“I’m just joking with you.” An airy laugh seeped out from his lips. “I’ll sleep on the floor.” Pointing at the unoccupied space behind him. “Don’t worry.”

“Or you can sleep next to me…”

Cupid feels the tension in the air after your suggestion. He propels the bed of clouds, flying closer to have a better view of you two. He’s so invested in the way Sunwoo softly looks at you that the shake of his head after some thinking makes him scream once more, burying his face into the white puff of air.

“Why not?” You scooted against his bed, making space to prove your point that the bed was big enough for you both. “It’s not like we’ve never done it before…”

“I know.” Sunwoo stands from his kneeling position but you refuse to let go of his hand. Instead, your hands slide up from his wrist to entangle them between his fingers. “Bubs…”

“I’m scared.” That’s all it took for Sunwoo’s knees to hit the floor again, coming closer to you. “What if I do manage to fall in love but then I just get hurt?”

“Then he’ll deal with me.” It elicits a whimper from you and your vision suddenly blurs once more. The tears brim up more when Sunwoo’s hand cups to rest against the apple of your cheeks with his knuckles, brushing in a circular motion. “Love them, it’s okay.”

The pressure you’re exerting on his fingers makes him furrow his eyebrows. “You’re okay with that?”

“If he makes you happy then I’m okay with that, yes. If he is the one that will make you believe in love again, then yes.” And his shoulders shrug, not as a way to say that he doesn’t care about your feelings because he does—everyone how much he cares for you. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Then make me happy.”

There it is again.

The implication that makes his eyes dart his focus from your heavy eyelids to the small gap between your lips. It travels down to your joined hands that lay next to your plump lips. He loves it. The sight of your hands, intertwining beautifully between his and the way that you’re holding him close to you as if his presence is a gift—if only he knew how much you treasure him.

“Get some sleep okay?” Ignoring it once more by throwing his eyes to his lap.

By some miracle, Sunwoo manages to break free from your hands but not before he wipes away the leftover final drops from your doe eyes. He didn’t completely leave your side just yet though. Sunwoo just sinks his right forearm on the edge of his bed, his left on top before resting his chin later on. His eyes blinked and he held the momentary darkness for a few seconds longer before opening them again. You understand, nodding defeatedly. With Sunwoo looking over you, admiring you even though he’s much more exhausted after running around your house with an energetic child, you were able to finally slumber off to sleep. He only thought about standing when heard your drowsy breathing becoming soft snores. Even then, his hand snakes behind your nape and under all your strands, pulling your luscious locks up to hang over his pillow and leaving the cold air to cool your exposed skin.

“I love you.”

And that’s when Cupid made up his mind.

The first thing that greets you when the flock of birds chirps too loudly for your liking is the gutting feeling of wanting to run down to the toilet bowl and empty the contents of your stomach. The second thing that hits you is the desert down your throat, your hand blindly rummaging on the bedside table to find the familiar shape of your water bottle. The third thing that hits you is the remnants of a tight non-existent band that wraps around your head.

It’s all a good potion to remind yourself never to drink so much liquor in such a short period.

But the fourth thing that hits you as you rise to a sitting position, thumb and pointer running up horizontally across your eyebrows, is the familiar room that isn’t yours. It takes you a while to notice but you recognise the one familiar arcade teddy bear on the very unorganised study table on the opposite of the room. The picture framed your scowl while the owner of the room held his phone up, tongue sticking out to the camera with the little peace sign above your head.

“Shit…how the heck did I get here?” Your bed hair becomes a bird's nest in a matter of seconds. “Wait so last night I went to the convenience store,” tracing your steps carefully, “drank at the beach…” but a blank after that, “Sunwoo must've picked me up.” The dread hits at the name you just spoke, “I’m not ready to face him!”

The blanket is ripped out from your lower body, and the drop in temperature sends goosebumps all over your body. Quite simply, you're embodying the term of waking up on the wrong side of the bed without its metaphorical meaning.

There was no point in peeking through the slit between the door and the frame of Sunwoo’s bedroom because you knew directly on the other side is a wall with framed pictures of the family who resides there. You ready yourself with an inhale through your nose, preparing a bunch of words despite the still evident headache before exhaling through your mouth.

The smell of batter and vanilla becomes more evident as soon as your hand creaks the door open. It excites you knowing that your favourite breakfast isn't too far away from reach. The smile that you gave though, reminds you of the pressing matters when it strikes pain through the veins on the side of your head.

Your exclamation to the feeling is what rips Sunwoo out of his daydream, turning around to see you tiptoeing not too far behind him like a thief.

“You're awake.”

Beside him, a tower of the perfectly circular cooked batter is stacked in five, maple syrup around the rim of the treat as it drops down naturally onto the rest of its friends below. You could tell that he probably timed each side with how uniform the colours of each side were. Sunwoo hasn't picked up the panic behind your eyes, setting the plate on the island between you both.

“Take this first.” He pops the white pill from its aluminium seal and reaches for the full glass of water he prepared earlier from the fridge.

Sunwoo didn't know that his proud smile would fall as quickly as you almost did when you stepped back. His feet rooted themselves to the slippery wood underneath, his eyes widening even though you managed to grab hold of the backrest of the couch next to you.

“Are you alri—”

“I should take my leave now.” You rushed to say, “My mum must be wondering where I am.”

“I told her last night, don't worry.”

Right. Just like all the times he has done whenever you fell asleep on his shoulder while watching anime with him.

“Eat something first and I'll drop you home.” His head tilted to the alluring warm cakes on the table.

The perfect cylinder on his hand would have slipped from his sweaty palms with how you shake your head in the slightest. Now he's picking up something. Do you remember the events from last night? No, you've always been a forgetful one and he would help you remember by setting up cues and would always have his camera facing you to record the horror creeping up your face.

Whatever it is, he felt the need to take the lead first, especially with how you're avoiding even looking his way and sitting down on the board of the furniture from before, your hands gripping the polyester beside your body. He's not too far away from you, maybe a metre apart but he's feeling anxious with the air himself, turning away from you momentarily.

You hear the exhausted exhale from your best friend and that made you scared to even look his way. The rim of the glass hits the marbled top. “I'm not going to do anything to you, you know?”

“Of course I know…” Keeping your emotions at bay.

“Then?”

Cupid raised both his eyebrows, hoping that you would be able to find the courage to rightfully confront Sunwoo for the feelings in your heart. His hands clamp together, lacing together as he rests his forehead on the knuckle of his thumb, silently encouraging the growth of the couple in front of him.

“I know that it’s my fault too that I didn’t speak up about the date with Jaemin. I should’ve been more honest to him first and foremost because he’s done nothing but nice to me and yes! The date was really nice and he was a gentleman like you said Sunwoo but,” the implications of the last word wipes the proud smile that he had, lips pursed to a thin line, “I wish that you didn’t put me on the spot especially when you know that I’m scared of being around men.”

There was no audible answer that he could truly give you. What you said is true and he hates that he projected to hide his feelings for you in the worst possible way. He left you alone at night, in the hands of someone that he can’t fully tell your mother honestly that he knows. The shake of his head is slow but harsh and with a glance, you could hear the cogs turning inside the distraught boy’s head.

“I’m sorry.” Wavering in fear.

“Please don’t be.” He responds. “I’m sorry.”

Despite shutting his eyes, Sunwoo feels the looming shadow that falls over his slumped figure against the tabletop. His hands join together, a loud clap making you jump a little bit at the force of his thoughts. You watch as his hands drain the blood flow, slowly making his fist white. And though your chest hurts from the anxiety running through your veins, you decided that it was best for you to clear the awkward air.

What you did is beyond anyone’s imagination but it felt right as compared to last night—as compared to all those times two years ago. Your fingers cradle the underside of Sunwoo’s jawline, separating his chin from his chest and angle his shocked face to yours. Sunwoo would’ve genuinely run away usually, maybe even letting out one of those screeches that would leave you scolding him for the pounding of your eardrums, but something else is pounding in both of your chests and it’s syncing with each other for the first time.

You move little by little, your toes slowly moving in so that you can stand between his slightly open legs until the sides of your knees are between his. Slowly, the anterior side of his forearms starts to lift from the surface behind him, testing the waters to hold you in his arms by ghosting his already encircled arm around your middle. When you nod, Sunwoo finds himself tightening the hold immediately, pulling you into the crook of his neck while your fingers thread on the loose white of his fabric. His fingers widen their reach, wanting to feel your figure on a wider surface area.

“I’m in love with you.”

It’s such a simple line.

It wasn’t extravagant nor was it unique or poetic, yet you find yourself wanting to record it so that you could play it back whenever and wherever.

“I know you’re scared.” He affirms to your growing whimpers. “But I want to continue to love you if you’ll let me.”

Now it’s official. There was no buildup to the streams down your cheeks but you still let yourself indulge in the pent-up frustration over your lack of trust for the boy who is holding you like you’re the most precious thing in the whole world.

“If our friendship is going to end and you'll never look my way ever again, then at least please let me hold you a little bit longer.”

You wish you could at least have enough strength to throw some punches on his chest but you’re breathless in both the way your throat begs for air and in the way Sunwoo nudges the tip of his nose to a sensitive part of your neck. The same area grows colder without any effort and it takes you less than a second to realise that Sunwoo is crying himself.

“Why are you crying?” You ask as best as you can through your tears.

“Because you’re crying.” He simply answers. “It hurts me that you’ve gone through so much.” Sunwoo’s lips shudder, taking in small breaths himself. “But I’m really proud of you.”

“You say that all the time.”

Sunwoo chuckles, acknowledging the times he did say it. “And I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

Cupid relaxes his shoulders when you both slightly pull away, tender eyes looking upon each other with a wide grin appearing on you both but he could tell you both are trying your best to not look away, wanting to live in the love that the other shared in the moment. He was about to flap his wings, thinking that it was enough eavesdropping for today but you quickly pressed a light pucker to Sunwoo’s left cheek. Then to his right. Then to his philtrum. He couldn’t help but cover his eyes at your daring act but what made him push back further to the corner of the room to give you space were your words.

“Cross the line, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo grips your waist, groaning against your lips and he’s momentarily still until you swipe the crease forming on his forehead and whisper a variation of assuring words. That’s all it takes for Sunwoo to finally close the gap between you both. It’s no longer a metre, sixty or thirty centimetres, not with the way his hands roam all over your body, needing more confirmation that you’re the one kissing him. His hands slide from your waist, gently to cup both of your bottoms, pushing you up closer to him. It elicits a soft gasp from you but Sunwoo pulls on your bottom lip to connect you back to him. Your dazed eyes met his dark ones and he took this time to swipe his wet muscle across the teeth mark to soothe the pain.

Feverish for affection, your zooms towards his lips once more, locking the plumper ones between yours before pulling away with a soft hum and engulfing the other one to give it the same amount of love. Sunwoo’s heart melts at the way you lightly tug on his scalp, the other hand sliding down along his nape and resting your palm on his collarbone. What makes him crazy is the vertical swipes that you give on his defined collarbones. He parts the kiss, pushing himself off the edge of the table and lifts you there, trapping your body with his palm on either side of your body.

“Bubs.”

“You okay?”

“More than okay.” Sunwoo chuckles, devouring your lips once more. “Can I kiss you somewhere else?” As soon as the confirmation is given, a warm hand wraps on the back of your neck and Sunwoo starts to alternate the pressure from his open mouth on the side of your neck, starting to mark you his.

The black strands of his hair swallow every part of your gripping hold on him but he smirks against your skin with the little pretty sounds dripping from your lips.

“S-Sunwoo.” Realising now that he’s painting you on a visible area. “My mum and brother are going to see.”

It’s not that you’re embarrassed by him—never him—you’re just shy at the new colour that he places on you, completely unfazed by what others think.

Possessive Kim Sunwoo—you could live with that.

“Can I pull the hoodie down a bit then?” Sunwoo pants against your skin, rough and slightly out of breath. “Only if you want it.” And he made sure you’re comfortable with whatever it’s going to be with how he wipes the forming sweat on your upper spine.

You spent what it feels like a minute holding his gaze to you. “I trust you.”

And he’s back to creating a masterpiece on your skin. Three of his fingers hook on the neckline and expose the body part that he wants to place his hungry lips on next. He watches the way your collarbones become more visible when you deeply inhale and he waits for your next breath patiently. When it does come, you slightly throw your head back at the pleasure of his soft nimbles. Sunwoo didn’t even want to spend a second away from you, his hand pushing on your lower back to press him up against you more. Your mewls are what motivate him more, pushing him just a bit more to finish the work in progress that he has in his head, pivoting his lower lip to a different angle and pressing the final press on you.

You release a breath you didn’t even know you held and Sunwoo frowns at the way you limp your upper body onto him, arms around his shoulder for support.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it that hard.”

Your hair ruffles against his when you shake your head. “Don’t be, I enjoyed it.”

Again, the room is filled with light chuckles once more, your dangling legs kicking the air at the shared moment together. Slowly but surely, the sweat evaporates from your face but your blush is still very evident. But before you become too shy and run away once again, you respond to his words that made you both cry in each other’s safety.

“I love you too, Kim Sunwoo.” Sunwoo’s hand that has been running up and down your back stops, wondering if he heard the right words. You turn to the vein on his neck, kissing along the line until the shell of his ear. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Sunwoo’s heart combusted at that and he only buries his heating face into your shoulder, making you giggle even more. His whole body is on cloud nine and he’s truly the luckiest person in the world to receive such words from you.

“I want to look at you.” He says before pulling away once more, hands planted next to your thighs once more.

Sunwoo’s slender fingers tucked your strands behind your ears, squishing your cheeks in between and said a relay of sweet nothings. Even though his eye smile is mostly on you, occasional glances were being stolen somewhere else. Knowingly, your finger pulls the cloth down and you watch the shift of mischievousness start to leave.

“Is it pretty?”

The adjective is an understatement. Of course, he wanted to say ‘yes’ because it’s his art that he’s proud of. He's the one who put the distinct heart shape there, his teeth mark slowly fading on the tip of the heart where he pivoted before and the remnants of him still slightly shine on your skin thanks to the overhanging light.

“You’re prettier.” Quickly stealing a peck from your lips to silence your shy complaints. “Be mine?”

“Valentine’s Day passed, Woo.”

“Be mine for life then.”

Oh, Kim Sunwoo really does have a way with his words.

“Plus, I’m glad that we didn’t become official yesterday.” Shrugging when you tilt your head, still with that cute smile of yours. “Now we don’t have to spend our Anniversary and Valentine’s Day on the same day. More mandatory days to spend with you.”

A light shove on his chest is what you respond with but your other hand already had a grip on the lower hem of his shirt. Sunwoo almost stumbled when you pulled him back, enveloping your lips with his.

“Thank you for never giving up on me,” Hands cradling your jaw, yours doing the same and you make sure your feelings are known, “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

Guess Cupid changed his arrow’s trajectory much to Sunwoo’s content.

Or maybe, it’s not really his doing after all.

Truth is, Cupid never shot an arrow in Kim Sunwoo’s way.

In reality, Cupid actually shot his chance to Na Jaemin and him only—but even he has made a wrong guess. The trust and hope that you and Sunwoo share are unmatched compared to the lovesick eyes that he has matched people with.

“A love that’s greater than my powers…” Though defeated and his self-confidence took a bit of a downfall, how truly upset can he be when he sees you and Sunwoo just embracing each other, body to body, close and loving each other just the way you both are?

He’s glad of his decision to shoot that second arrow to the other boy after you both fell asleep last night.

“Now that’s a mistake that I can live with.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿@heemingyu @cupidjyu

thank you for 100+ interactions!!

cupid's mistake | tbz kim sunwoo

“Now that’s a mistake that I can live with.”

​PAIRING » the boyz kim sunwoo x fem!reader (ft. nct's na jaemin) TROPE/AU » friends to lovers, non-idol au!, high school au! GENRE »​ THIS WAS SO FLUFFY UWU, but also add those angsts!!, SLIGHTLY suggestive (one makeout scene), love triangle...?, (kinda) slowwww burn, i love supportive and attentive sunwoo who gives so much love to the reader, MUTUAL PINING, they're both blind aye, sunwoo is an idiot because he PUSHES THE READER AWAY GRRR, cliché cause i live for this hehe, sunwoo babysits the reader's little bro (cutie sunwoo), sunwoo is the type to give the reader physical space because she's overwhelmed, a terrible attempt at comedy, oh...i think i'm in love with kim sunwoo again (i literally changed my bias to hyunjae like a month ago---) WORD COUNT » 13,061 (hi yes, izzy is entering her long wc era!!)​ ESTIMATED READING TIME » i'm scared to put this down 😭 forgive me!! WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!) » suggestive!!, reader is a lightweight (not sure if this is a warning), reader uses alcohol to distract herself (sunwoo will come to the rescue tho!), reader has a bad schema for men, incredibly fast proofread once

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

hands down the hardest story i've EVER written (including my 40+ wips) and i stopped multiple times because it explores a huge part of my life that makes me super vulnerable. the internet may judge me after this but i'm going to stay strong for myself; they don't know what i've been through.

i'm glad that i have met idols who have at least helped my schema for men. mark lee, na jaemin, cho seungyoun (woodz), lee jaehyun (hyunjae) and kim sunwoo (sorry i was so harsh on you 😭 i'm very thankful for your existence no wonder what anyone else believes and thinks; and people can believe what they want to believe because i'm tired of trying to make them believe something else).

izzy...

if there is one internet trend (?) that you should take seriously, it's that: not all men are the same.

and you know that. you've seen it with your guy friends and the teachers that you were close to in high school. they're not like the ones who hurt you. i know you're scared and with what you've been through, i would like to at least believe that it's valid. i really hope that you keep going and keep fighting.

thank you for reading @heemingyu @mmoonbaee !! love our chaotic trio!! 🥰

You’ve rejected Kim Sunwoo before.

Twice, apparently.

It left the rest of your friend group flabbergasted when they heard that you did something so incredible. When asked why you rejected the friend that has stuck with you since the beginning of your hellish high school days, the only response you gave them was a fake smile with your eyebrows knitted together and your eyes roaming around the room, avoiding the intense (and totally unnecessary) curiosity in their gaze.

The truth is that you really do see why people fall in love with Kim Sunwoo.

You agree with the fact that he’s a romantic person and would absolutely take care of his partner well. You can vouch for this with the number of times he almost faceplanted on the very non-slippery cement when he saw you on the other side of the road, excited to finally see his dearest best friend. You can confidently vouch for him when he stubbornly gives his favourite hoodie for you to use, not hesitating to make sure you’re warm even though he knows he’s going to be bedridden. You can brag about your best friend’s selfless personality, telling them how Sunwoo went out of his way to comfort you along the beach at night when you said you were feeling empty.

Out of everyone in the world, you’re the one who knows best that Sunwoo has always been a caring person. Like that time when you both finally became adults and he waited for his first sip of alcohol to be with you. Embarrassingly, you’re much more lightweight than you both thought but even though Sunwoo could barely balance his steps, that didn’t stop him from giving you a piggyback ride walk to your house where he also really embarrassingly this time, actually faceplanted in front of your mother as he misses the step down the stairs when leaving.

So yes, you understand why people have massive heart eyes whenever he’s around.

But to you, he’s just your best friend. One that you hope would be there for you every step of the way even after you go on to the next chapters of your life.

The first confession was a quick one, a simple “Have you ever thought of dating me?” from Sunwoo and with a playful disgusted look, you simply respond with “Ew, no way.”

But the second one is more serious for Sunwoo. His heart was beating so fast that it was strong enough to make his whole body fall onto the ground; maybe it would’ve been better for the Earth to swallow him up so that he’d never have to face you ever again. He didn’t know what took over him and where the sudden urge came from but he meant every single word that he said—and the hues of red and pink on both his cheeks show his true feelings for you (which you missed).

But maybe Sunwoo overestimated how confident he could be around you because as soon as he sputtered “I like you. Should we start dating?” He saw the way your fingers stopped their aggressive tapping on the black squares of your keyboard, freezing and halting for a bit more before your shocked eyes met his nervous ones. Scared to ruin this perfect friendship that he already has with you, he backs out of his words, shaking his head and letting out his forceful rehearsed laugh that got you both kicked out of the library. Though the day could have been the start of something new, he still relished the way he managed to hear at least the rapid complaints fly out of your lips. You’ve been stressed out over the English essay that you’ve been so distant, so at least even though you beat him in a game or rock-paper-scissors for food, the empty wallet that he’s left with after, filled the loneliness in his heart.

Gosh even when you’re mad, he finds you adorable.

But it’s been three years since the second confession and now three years after, Kim Sunwoo is still next to you. Call him a loser—a hopeless romantic—but he would argue the term, telling the people around him that he has his reasons.

“What are we doing for Valentine’s Day?”

The question is not a weird one between you both. Maybe you should’ve said the just-friends boy and girl version of ‘Galentine’s Day’ or whatever the kids these days call it because Sunwoo’s heartbeat would always spike at the mention of the couple’s holiday. He’s always spent the day with you and how could you refuse when he assures you that you can leave your wallet at home?

In truth, he just didn’t want other people to take you out. He tried to fathom the image of you receiving that giant teddy bear, a heart-patterned bow around the neck and maybe the word ‘love’ embroidered on its fluffy white tummy. The only smile in his head is yours and the date that is not him, and he couldn’t help but notice the constricting muscle around his heart and the churning of his stomach.

Kim Sunwoo will always root for you. If your happiness is with someone else, then he wouldn’t dare to take that away from you. He just wants to let you know his true feelings someday—if he could.

Sunwoo swivels his chair around, a quiet hum gave out as an answer for now. He hasn’t thought much about this year, his part-time job and full-time high school student occupying his thoughts a bit too much more than he would like. Usually, he would have a list of things to do but as responsibilities piled up, the wants decreased and with how you’re practically stuck with each other either way, he manages to check off most of the things in his places to go list.

You’re unaware of the longing eyes that fixed upon you as you kept your eyes directed to the ceiling, phone raised above your eyes. You made yourself comfortable on Sunwoo’s bed, his blanket going past your chest and covering your lower body from the blasting air conditioner. Your arms are getting a bit sore but you just want to know if the main characters in the drama would kiss soo—

“Alright, that’s enough internet for you today.” The device is snatched out of your hands, your arms cheering in relief as they plop down on the bouncy material. In refute to his actions, your back straightens but everything happened in a quick three-second interval that you didn’t realise that Sunwoo was already bending down and your forehead collided with his. “Oh my Go—” Sunwoo exclaims, his butt hitting the floor in surprise.

“Serves you right!” You exclaim, begrudgingly rubbing the area with your palm. “Why were you so close?!”

“I was telling you stuff but you weren’t paying attention!”

“You could’ve shouted it!”

“I called your name thrice?!”

“Oh my God! Okay, what was it that you wanted to say?”

All words get stuck in his throat. Even though his head and bottom hurt with the two critical hits at the most unexpected time, he couldn’t help but shy his face away with the way you blew the loose strand that blocks your vision, paired with the slight jut of your little lip as you turn your attention to him.

Sunwoo stutters, gulping when he sees your raised eyebrows from the corner of his eye. “U-Up to you.” Another gulp and wandering eyes, “Is there nothing you want to do?”

“Oh but,” you recall the favour that your mum asked from yesterday. “My mum asked if I could babysit my brother because she has plans already.” Heaving an apologetic sigh, feeling bad for letting Sunwoo down.

“Hey no,” an idea comes to mind as he leisurely crosses his legs. “I love your brother! How about we just spend the day together with him?”

Your eyes narrow suspiciously to the comment he once made about kids, “I thought you said you hate kids.”

“No, I said I hate those who are cuter than me.”

A scandalous gasp from you, “Are you calling my brother ugly?! I’m telling him and my mu—”

“No!” Realising his mistake, he quickly untangles his legs and tackles you back down on the bed instantly, his bigger build toppling over yours easily. “That’s not what I meant! He's an exception!” It's unclear whether his sobs are real or not at this point. “Your mum loves me! Don’t do this to me!”

“Get off me, you stinky raccoon!”

The gym resonates with the squeaks of sixty-something shoes on its polished surface. The sound easily makes you squirm, hating that it screeches against your eardrums so violently. A chuckle is heard at the sight of the displeasure written on your face.

“Very annoying.” The honey-like voices your thoughts. “Would you like to borrow my headphones for a while?”

Instantly, you’re met with his popular gummy smile, the one that swoons everyone in your school. If people aren’t swooning over your best friend, they most probably are falling for the man who made himself comfortable next to the gym steps where you sat. His features are nothing like Sunwoo’s, softer and more approachable with the way his eyes sparkle even more with the help of the shine from above. Because this isn’t sport class, he wears his everyday uniform, his collar is properly presented and not a single speck of ramen soup makes its mark on the annoyingly white cotton. Even with the physical exercise he did, he still looks dashing and neat, wondering how his messy hair still looks attractive—but then again, men with messy hair have always captivated your heart. Jaemin’s kind personality is the final cherry on top and with how you usually have conversations like these when he’s benched or having a break, you’re certainly one of the girls who is attracted to him in no time. Your brown eyes travel further down his dazzling smile, to the black headset on his open palm.

A wave from Na Jaemin to your dazed face pulls you back to reality and you nod wordlessly to the question before. Like the gentleman he is, Jaemin doesn’t even ask you to turn to him but instead adjusts to your line of vision, slightly making the gap between the earpads bigger before resting the cushion perfectly for you. The way he did so was gentle, even tucking your hair strands behind your ear.

“Better?” Another wordless nod. Jaemin lets out an airy chuckle at your pursed lips, moving back beside you. “Here for Sunwoo?”

“And to kill time, I suppose.”

Your eyes wander back to the boy who’s working hard on the soccer field. It’s a usual routine for you to wait for his weekly soccer training so that you both can walk home together. Usually at this time, your nose would be buried in your textbooks, catching up on the work you missed due to the lack of sleep from the previous night. Usually, as well, the practice would be outdoors, the same squeaky sound being non-existent, the same one that ripped you out of your focus since the start of the practice round.

The whistle blares and the coach shouts at the team for a five-minute break. Sunwoo stops his jogging, hands on his knees as he leans to catch his breath while the rest of the team sends encouraging slaps on his back to their dear captain. Sunwoo sends a playful one back to their buttcheeks, the rowdy group enjoying the little gap before they have to get back in the zone. But this is when Sunwoo’s eyes fall upon his teammate and his best friend not too far away. His eyes soften at the way you just blink at Jaemin’s smile, betting that you’re not paying attention to a single thing that he’s saying. Unconsciously, he doesn’t realise how his hands clenched at the growing redness on your cheeks but Sunwoo doesn’t look away even when he walks to get his water bottle.

“Oh.” Eric teasingly remarks. “That’s not a good look, Sunwoo.”

“Shut up.” He mumbles back to his closest teammate. Even though he forces his back on you, he can’t help but steal obvious lovesick glances back.

“Jaemin said he’s going to ask your dearest bestie out on a date for Valentine's.”

Sunwoo tries his best not to let the comment get to him. “Well, she’s busy already.”

“With you?” Eric questions his trailing voice. “The guy she rejected?”

“Shut up!” Sunwoo groans to the boy, swinging his arm around his neck for a headlock. “You’re actually so annoying, Sohn. The whole cohort knows because of you!”

The poor boy begs for mercy, sending hits to his friend’s stomach. And Sunwoo does let go, poking his tongue out at the boy after. Overdramatically, Eric sends one back, calling mischievous names to the boy who is looking over to you once more. He couldn’t force himself to look away from the vital information that Eric said. Without knowing, his feet stride over to you both, finally catching the words from Jaemin’s moving lips.

“Can I take you out on Valentine’s Day? Are you free?”

Sunwoo sees the gears turning in your head and he pleads that you would reject the offer, pleading that you didn’t forget your words from last night. He’s looking forward to the day, especially when he researched a bunch of things that your brother likes, combining with the things you like to make sure the day will be well spent. But the breath he takes stops at his throat when you just continue to stare at Jaemin with wide eyes. Sunwoo might’ve imagined it, but he swears he could see the corner of your lips rising, your head probably thinking of a fun, romantic date with Jaemin.

It’s obvious to him even on the other side of the gym, that Cupid has shot his arrow.

“Yeah.”

The answer didn’t come from you, the response was too deep to be your timbre. The headphones did their job well, masking Sunwoo’s steps and leaving you confused by the clear and loud answer he gave. Excited at the confirmation of your empty schedule, Sunwoo’s heart churns at the way Jaemin excitedly holds your hands, turning your confused head tilt to him into another blushing one. Unfortunately, you were unable to say a word to any of the two boys, the coach beckoning everyone in the team over for the final part of their practice.

Faintly, you hear Jaemin saying that he’ll contact you and that you can return his headphones tomorrow in class. You just watch the way Jaemin hops back to the rest of the team while Sunwoo follows closely behind, his shoulders slightly slumping as he drags his feet to make that noise you hate.

The walk home isn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Sunwoo acts like the gym didn’t happen and you raise your eyebrows at his suspicious actions of him walking slightly in front of you even though he still talks about the parts of the day when you weren’t with him. With the slight gap, you observe the way his front bangs slump over his vision, covering his sullen eyes. The hands inside his pockets continue to tense and he tries his best to ignore the obvious crease between your eyebrows. He doesn’t even question the short answers you came up with in his storytelling. Even now as you arrive at your front door, Sunwoo doesn’t bring the topic up, choosing to send his usual smile and ‘see you tomorrow’.

But you refuse to let his actions go. “What was that all about back there?”

It puts Sunwoo’s feet rooted to the ground and he feigns an innocent look. “You know,” he starts now with a smirk on his face, “Na Jaemin could totally figure out that you have the biggest crush on him with the way you looked at him with those googly eyes of yours.”

“I do not have googly eyes when I look at Na Jaemin!”

“Sure, you don’t.” Rolling his eyes, “You were close to drolling over him back there.”

You could tell that he was just avoiding the subject and prolonging touching it until you just let it go. “Sunwoo.” The tone of your voice tells him that you're seriously looking for answers, “Why’d you say that back there? I thought we were babysitting my brother together?”

“It’s fine.” He swats his hand in the air. “You go have fun and I’ll look over the child myself.”

“But I—”

“Can you just stop complaining and go in? I’m tired from practice.” Sunwoo cuts you off, turning the doorknob and pushing you in with small strength. “See you tomorrow!”

He does close the door on your face, ignoring the inhale you take and walking away before you start rebutting his words. But with that, you also missed telling Sunwoo of your mum who stands leisurely behind him and when your mum greets him, Sunwoo gets the scare of his life, yelping and crouching to the floor, a hand over his chest.

“Serves him right for cutting me off twice.”

At this time, you didn’t realise the ache in your heart, too busy chuckling at his misery as your mum helped the poor boy before he disappeared out of your sight with multiple polite bows.

Now, Sunwoo is left to wallow in his stupidity. The devil in his head even shakes his head disapprovingly and the angel desperately tries to cheer him up, telling him that everything will be fine but it has no effect on the distraught boy. He lets out all the swear words that he knows, mumbling them to himself, criticising his past actions. A headache starts to form and he is unable to walk a straight line on the well-leveled road.

“You’re an idiot, Kim Sunwoo.”

He replays the earlier scene. The way your eyes fall on Jaemin fondly, the way all words seem to be lost when he speaks to you and the way you freeze when Jaemin holds your hand in his. His feet stop dragging on the stone when he spots an ice cream truck and the sweet fragrance of your favourite flavour. Even with small things like this, he thinks of you.

He observes the two friends who approach the vehicle, recognising the uniform as the same as the ones he has on. Judging by the satisfaction on the girl’s face and the complaints of the boy, Sunwoo assumes that the shorter one probably won a bet or something. His mind wanders to you once more, the dynamic of his two underclassmen similar to the one he shares with you.

More calm and accepting that he has probably lost you to Na Jaemin, if asked why he still chooses to stick with you after two rejections, Kim Sunwoo can.

The fastest and simple answer is that you don’t have a good schema for love. It was shattered the moment that you found out that your dad cheated on your mum four years ago. Your family fell apart shortly after your dad packed everything and left, leaving your mum alone as the sole parent when you were still trying to fully understand the world around you.

The rest of the world doesn't see how the separation affected you. However, Sunwoo was there during the times when you cried your eyes out, taking the frustrated punches on his chest, when you declared that you would never fall in love, scared of falling into the same fate as your mother especially when your dad has always voiced out that he loves his family and would always stay with them.

The world doesn't see how you hide behind his reassuring back whenever a male is too close for your liking. They don't see how you practically hold onto his arm with anxiety after a person confesses to you even though you're thankful that they look at you fondly. They don't see the fear in your eyes like Sunwoo has seen every single part of it.

When you would tease each other, like the time when he tackles you onto the bed, that's an exception. Sunwoo has always paid attention to your actions, both conscious and unconscious. He knows all about when you and when to keep his distance.

Thirty centimetres, sixty sometimes, and he would always wait for you to close the gap, stealing glances behind to make sure you were still following. Ninety-nine point nine per cent of the time, you would pick up your pace and Sunwoo would purposely slow down and the gap between the side of his arm and body would get bigger with each step you grow closer to him. When you clutch onto his arm again, he sends you that understanding gaze, mouthing a little 'hi' or 'hello' before facing forward again with newfound happiness.

The other point one is you asking if he could come back to stand beside you. But again, he would never ever touch you first and even when you arrive at your doorstep with no progress, Sunwoo would still look at you, reminding you of how proud he is and winks playfully to lift the corners of your lips before sending his 'see you tomorrow' still with happiness as his main aura.

It breaks Sunwoo’s heart whenever he sees you like that. That's the reason why he took his second confession back.

So when Kim Sunwoo, selfless and rooting for your genuine happiness, sees the different gaze that you send Na Jaemin, he can’t help but push his feelings aside. Plus, Na Jaemin is a good guy so he feels more reassured setting you up with the ace striker in the soccer team.

Cupid frowns down at the boy, his wings flapping sadly at the fake smile he puts on as he continues his walk home. It’s strange how he found himself sad for the dejected boy.

“Truly an idiot you are, Kim Sunwoo.”

Back home, you rewarded yourself with a warm shower. Though your physical body was able to let loose under the light sprinkles, your eyes couldn't help but mix in the metallic water with your salty ones. The water pressure manages to swallow most of your cries but the mirror doesn't lie when you see your red eyes after.

The gulp you took is painfully dry, tired from the tears from earlier. Your reach for the bathrobe is slow, letting the air cool touch your slightly red skin after the temperature. “At least he made it clear that he doesn't like me in that way.”

The knocks against the nearby room beckons a ‘Come in!’ from you and you quickly run the sides of your fingers on your eyebags as soon as you register the young boy from the mirror.

“Sis!” Dashing towards you, headbutting your back, “I heard Ddeonu hyung will be here tomorrow night!”

It's endearing to see how the news makes the little one jump, both his hands on your arm for support. A hand ruffles his already messy nest, “Be good tomorrow, okay?”

And the response morphs the smile upside down, “You’re not gonna be with us?”

Overloading with cuteness, you couldn't help but swivel around on your vanity chair towards your sibling, your hands pressing his cheeks, “With or without me, you're going to be with Sunwoo all day anyways!” Remembering all the times when he preferred to be in Sunwoo’s arms over yours, “Just don't make the poor raccoon run around too much, okay? He's getting old.”

“Does that mean he will fly to the cloud soon?”

“No, no.” Making a mental note to tell Sunwoo and imagining the way his jaw would drop at the wild question, “He's just old and tired now.”

Though confused at the repeated answer, the child seems to let it go, shrugging in satisfaction anyway at the plans for tomorrow. The smile upturned once more and you lift the boy much to his happiness, kicking his legs when you adjust his posture on your vanity table.

“Makeup!” He exclaimed about the objects around him, open palms to mimic a twinkling motion in the air.

“Makeup!” You echo, grabbing the cushion foundation. “Do you want to make me into a Princess?”

Obviously, he would not reject the offer, snatching the round object into his palm and patting the powder onto your neck.

“I'm going to make you the prettiest sister ever and raccoon hyung won't be able to take his eyes off you!”

Cupid shakes his head once more, his belly lying on the puffy cloud. He rests his chin on his palm, wondering how the similar-sized boy is more likable to him than the two blind adults—but it's obvious because he's not the stupid one.

“Well,” clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth, “this one is an idiot too.”

Leading up to Valentine's Day, you thought at the very least you could spend the missed day with Sunwoo but he's more than adamant about pushing you to Jaemin. Whenever he saw a window of opportunity, he would call the boy over, a big waving motion from his hand in the air.

Whenever Jaemin spots you, every part of his face lights up and yours is supposed to reciprocate the stars in his eyes. But how could you even see it when all you see is the whole universe in Sunwoo’s ones instead?

The realisation that it has always been Sunwoo scares you and it terrifies you even more that the same boy who has always given his heart to you is making the gap between you both larger, further away, more and more within arms reach for your comfort. At first, it was confusion but then every part of your aching heart just longed for his presence beside yours once more.

Jaemin reminds you of the date one last time, the final text before you part ways at the school entrance is bolded, italicised and underlined. And Sunwoo? He intruded the house way earlier than everyone expected but judging from the open arms from your mother and the way you could hear your brother’s shrieking from the other side of the house, it's obvious that you’re the only one who’s dreading the early visitor.

Speaking of the visitor, your brother made himself comfortable by sitting on his neck, hands gripping his hair to make two little pigtails. Seeing Sunwoo fit right into your family from the very start has always been heartwarming and you would've told your brother to pull on two tails if you weren't busy avoiding his eyes from the mirror.

“Look!” Sunwoo gasps to your brother, finger pointing to you, “Your sister is so pretty, isn't she?”

And it became ten times harder to keep your tears from falling.

“Thanks.” You managed to seeth out from gritted teeth.

“Come on! You're going to be late.” Reminding you of the long hand of the clock reaching the top of the circle when Jaemin promised to pick you up. “Which bag are you using?”

It's heartbreaking to see him just walk past you after the compliment, whistling leisurely as he looks through the pile of bags on the side hook of your wardrobe. You found yourself looking down at your lap, trying to shake off the nervousness and anxiety in your mind. You try your best to focus on the tension of your gripping fists, letting go and repeating to ground yourself back. The tears are starting to blur your vision but you push the sleeves of your outerwear over your knuckles and smudge them away.

The way that Sunwoo still entertains your brother as he takes the body of the bag in your direction, humming intently to see if the colour of your outfit will clash with the accessory, brings your emotions to their peak and you just want to run away from this situation. He settles on one, a victorious exclamation falling from his lips and begins stuffing your necessities himself.

“Phone,” checking off the mental list, “keys and wallet.” Your brother pointing at the lone lipstick left at the centre of the painted surface, “Ah! This too!” Putting the closed cylinder inside the small purse before the metal zips and is carefully balanced on your shoulder.

Your thankful mutter didn't go unheard by Sunwoo and so did the tinge of makeup on the sleeve that you used when he looked away for a brief moment.

“Hey!” Sunwoo cranes his head to speak to the younger, curious eyes. “Why don't you go on ahead first and pick what ramen you want?”

The kicking of his heels against his chest made him wince a bit, quickly putting your younger brother where he dashes off with his favourite food.

Throughout the whole exchange, it once again confirms the fact that Sunwoo is truly loving to the people around him. The way that he tries not to disappoint your brother, even if there are probably bruises forming from his kicking, the way that he peels his head out to make sure your brother is taking careful steps to the kitchen and finally, the beaming but adoration in his eyes when he finally lands on the casual outfit you're wearing.

“Wow.” A breathless chuckle, head empty with the sight of you.

His cheeks flushed and he couldn't help but stare at your stunning choice of outfit—if hoodies and no makeup could make his heart jump out of his chest, then he should go to the hospital because of your off-the-shoulder white top paired with the beige pleated skirt and cardigan.

“Okay?” You ask timidly, “L-Like, do I look okay?”

“You're stunning.” He says truthfully that your body goes numb, looking away from the sparkles in his eyes.

Now, that's new. “Hey…” Taking steps towards you, “What's wrong?”

But your heart is fighting so hard that you feel like you're about to give up. If Sunwoo is going to reject you, then you just want him to do it so that you can forget about all this and just go back to pretending that you will never have heart-shaped eyes for Kim Sunwoo ever again.

“Y-You’re okay with this?” The leather of your bag crinkles at your gripping question.

“Yeah,” Sunwoo answers. “Don't worry. Jaemin is a great guy.”

Your eyes widen at the comment, “No, I-I know that bu—”

But Sunwoo suddenly zooms into your face, even bending his back to make sure that you wouldn't miss the pout on his handsome face. His eyes landed on your lip-touched makeup, “Wait, can I have your lipstick? Let me retouch it for you.”

You couldn't even refute, feeling the cooling pink painting your lips, contrasting the palm on your cheek that steadies the delicate work on your lips. Why did he bother asking if he was just going to retrieve it himself? You're thankful Sunwoo can't multitask, missing the glimmer in your orbs as you try your best to keep your lips from shaking like your legs are slowly becoming. It’s clear that he didn’t know how to properly manoeuver the brush on your lips but you find yourself forgiving him even if your lips become a mess after this.

The defeated groans from his lips only made your heart swell and you take your time to look at him as if you’ve never done so before; from his eyelashes that flutter prettily, to his tongue that pokes out in concentration, it’s crazy how handsome someone can be when he's not doing anything special. The pads of his finger spread the colour, smacking his lips as a sign for you to copy which you eventually do.

“Done!” And just when your heart thought it could finally get a break, Sunwoo decides to play with it a bit more, fishing out a snap hair clip. His hands smooth any bumps that aren’t visible to the naked eye. A hand holds the side of your head gently, the other sliding the gift across your scalp carefully. “Alright, now let’s go!”

Your tears are so incredibly close to flowing but the lights of your room die like every hope of telling Sunwoo that you’re not as excited as he is for the night to come. But if this is Sunwoo’s way of completely rejecting any romantic feelings for you, then what can you do except to trudge down your hallway where even your brother wishes that you would have a fun time? The smile on your lips doesn’t reach your eyes when both boys remind you not to come home late in addition to Sunwoo’s “Text or call me if you need anything!”

You spare a final glance at the two, sombre smile plastered on your face. The last face you see is Sunwoo’s whose eyes still held on a smile even though yours has been wiped away. Maybe it was supposed to encourage you or maybe it’s nothing and you’re just reading too deep into it but if there’s one thing you know is that the night with Jaemin, even though he is a well-mannered man, a gentleman inside and out, your head couldn’t help but wish that it was Sunwoo who took you to the arcade, making sure your arms are filled with snacks and drinks.

You wished that after that, no one was there to pull your chair out, instead laughing at the way you almost tripped on air while trying to sit down. You wished that you could’ve just stared at the menu in contemplation and for Sunwoo to just choose for you so that he could silence the growling in his stomach.

Cursing the famous day as well, seeing the love around you, the couples enamoured by their partners all around you, it only made the guilt inside grow further.

By the time the night is spent, Jaemin knows that his feelings aren't reciprocated. First, it's the way you ask him to repeat his words multiple times. Second, it's the way that your eyes are blank, just your orbs staring into space. Third, it's the way that you try to discreetly check your smartwatch for notifications from your best friend at your home.

“I'm sorry.” Jaemin chuckles in response after he softly calls you out.

The boy shakes his head, hands inside his pants pockets. “I knew that you didn't like me. I guess I just wanted a chance to maybe change that once.” But then he sighs an understanding sigh, closing his eyes before fluttering them back at you, “but you're too far gone into your feelings to realise what I've been doing.”

Your eyes welled up with tears, apologetic at his words and Jaemin couldn't do much but give words of comfort after you explicitly stumbled away from his reaching hand, asking for physical space. You mutter a million apologies for today but Jaemin is respectful, convincing you that the friendship between you both won't change and that eases your mind.

“Should I text Sunwoo?” He carefully asks. “To pick you up.”

A shake of your head is what had Jaemin’s eyebrow furrowing. “It’s okay. I’ll text him right now.”

And though your makeup is a mess, transferring onto the sleeves of your cardigan more, Jaemin still thinks you're stunning, the clenching of his heart intensifying at the glitter you still managed to hold. Jaemin leaves you alone in a convenience store near your favourite beach and somehow, you manage to convince him to go on ahead first, leaving your thoughts alone in the night of love.

Your feet routinely take you along the beachside, taking shelter at the convenience store for a while, grabbing drinks and food to aid your broken heart. When you crouch for the bottle at the bottom shelf, your mind just has to remind you that someone wouldn't even let you do this, always protecting you from any wardrobe malfunction.

Your knees finally give out and the back of your thighs meet with the back of your lower leg. Your hands only clutche on the neck of the green bottle while you hide your distressed face behind the curtains that your hair made.

Thinking of it all infuriates you.

Why can't you just be more trusting towards others? Believe that not all of them are out to ridicule or make fun of you.

“Sunwoo…” You couldn't help but mumble as your tears finally painted your beige skirt darker.

Thankfully you were able to keep your emotions somewhat at bay, straightening your posture with the cooling drink in one hold. The cashier could only offer you an encouraging speech and an empathetic smile as soon as she saw the trail on your cheeks. The gesture is needed but the anxiety still weighs on your chest deeply. She must've thought that you've gone through a huge breakup on this unfortunate pinky day but you think the internal agony is worse.

For the last few hours or so, Sunwoo has been updating you with your baby brother through pictures. If only the pictures were just about the younger one and not a duo picture that once again shows that Sunwoo is a keeper when it comes to babysitting. The device is stashed in the bag that he chose from you earlier but if you could, you could honestly feed it to the sharks on the beach in front of you.

The wind provided you company, hitting your red apple-coloured cheeks to balance your rising temperature. You knew you shouldn't drink alone especially when the moon was high in the sky but you couldn't help but bask in the tide that hit the sand, pulling everything back into the body of water.

The tips of your toes are drenched and you would usually be running further away as soon as water hit your ankles but you didn't want to. It’s times like these that you’re thankful for the invention of safety shorts as you're able to sit in any posture you like without worrying. Your knees constantly bend and straighten, dragging the sand along with it and at this point, you've created a shallow hole.

“I mean,” you slur, “I’m so comfortable with Sunwoo so why can't I be the same with the others?” your eyes could only shut in self-contempt from today’s date, “And Jaemin was so respectful to me too…”

It’s frustrating that you can't trust others when they've done nothing wrong. The only thing that responded to the strike down your cheek was the last drop of liquid courage; now even objects have started mocking you.

“I have to stop relying on him,” a hiccup and a humourless laugh. “When he gets a girlfriend…” the thought cracks your heart into pieces and your knee grows closer to your chest, “Gosh, what am I doing?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

The deep voice and a couple of deep breaths made you turn back so quickly that you fell over sideways. The boy momentarily scolds you even more, grumbling, pointing at your ruined shoes tossed aside in the sand and exhaling whilst turning his head away to catch a break from the soaked ends of your outerwear. When the worry envelops him again, Sunwoo takes a better look at your state.

His tongue clicks against the roof of his mouth loudly and the crease between his eyebrows only deepens each time his eye focuses to another part of your face.

“Did you drink?! Alone?! I told you not to drink without me!”

His initial volume made you jump a bit, especially with how he directly circles behind you to pick up the discarded, lonely bottle. Sunwoo's nagging continues, crouching beside you to your eye level with the bottle making tunes from the wind. The pout answers him, along with the way your fingers fiddle on the hem of your sleeves. You had no intention of voicing out the answer now that he knows so you just say something else.

“You actually came…”

The ‘something else’ did make his ramble stop and his intense features started to soften and melt away when your words hit him.

“Of course, I came.” Reassurance above the whispering wind, “You texted me.”

Your lips couldn't even gape open with a response because Sunwoo takes a couple of steps back, away from you. Though his body is still facing yours with his shoes pointing at you and arms around his knees, the safe distance is what makes your head hurt at the many things you could say to him.

“Did you put him to sleep?” You opted for this conversation instead.

Sunwoo’s nods just got in your peripheral vision, but your nod is the centre of his.

You let the wind break you even more, not even raising your hand to move the strands that became trapped between your lower and upper eyelids, tickling your eyes when it finally is freed. Without a doubt, you know that Sunwoo is just watching you patiently, waiting for you to tell him to drop you home or to at least talk about the night whether it be his or yours. Your nervous system couldn't help but relax in his presence.

Inside, Sunwoo wants something from you too. An indication to move further and to close the thirty-centimetre gap he has created. Just anything so that he could finally leave the coldness that nips at his trembling skin. His bangs brushes over his sight but he still has a clear view of you. The side of his head only rests on his arm as he just stares at you, humming a tune that hopefully reaches you.

“Woo.”

“Hm?”

“Do you like someone?”

A series of stuttering and unsure hums came from him. Your knees push against your chest hard, burying your head between them. Soon enough, you're convinced that the pressure is what kept your heart together after the affirmative answer.

“I…” Here goes nothing, “was supposed to be with her today and maybe ask her out officially but she had other plans and so did I.”

“Oh.” You didn't know if he heard it. You kind of wished he didn't because of how sore your throat suddenly feels. “I’m sorry, I should've been the one to take care of my brother inste—”

“She was busy too,” Sunwoo repeated, words clearer and punctuated. “It doesn't matt—”

“Will I be able to trust anyone again?”

“W-Wha—”

“Will someone ever love me the same way that you love her?”

The thoughts haunt you every night when you're asleep and now that you finally share it with someone, you lose yourself in the alcohol and blurt out the impulsive thoughts.

“W-Whoa.” Sunwoo nervously chuckles. “Did the date really go that ba—”

“Do I know her?”

“Ye—”

“Tell me. Let me make sure she's a good person.”

The only response you get is a low groan and sigh; both from Sunwoo and the guardian Cupid above you both. The moonlight twinkles the curve of the forgotten bottle but it reminds Sunwoo that you're not in your right state of mind and that you're just pressing to get the thoughts out of your head rather than truly looking for answers.

For the first time, Sunwoo took action, dusting his clothes from the damp sand. You merely watch with half-hooded eyes as he strides against the swallowing sand, your head slowly turning from the side to the front where he settles himself. Sunwoo gives you a soft tug of the corner of his lips and his dancing bangs only make him all the more attractive. He tests the waters, holding his hand out to reach yours, permission to touch you through his gaze. When you nod, he doesn't hesitate to share his body warmth starting from his bigger palms, relieved at how you seem to let out a breath that you have been holding.

“Deep breaths, bubs.”

The nickname makes you swoon and makes his instructions unclear. Though the pounding on the side of your head makes it hard for you to morph Sunwoo’s clone together, the name managed to at least get your attention. With this, he didn’t mind the way his clothes drank the seawater when he kneeled, even dragging his fabric across the surface. Sunwoo responds with a jut of his lower lip when you just shoot him a glare but your act disappears when he opens his arms wide. Without any further hesitation, your forehead rests on his chest. One of his hands cups the curve of your waist and the other threads through your silky hair. The act makes your body shudder and you find your arms start to hold his middle even tighter when he collects your hair and tosses it over to a side, his palm now covering your whole nape.

“You’re alright.” Sunwoo muses. His diverts to yours and maybe you’re just imagining the adoration dripping from his eyes but you couldn’t help to speak a bit of your mind.

“You're doing it again…”

“Doing what?”

You didn't give him a verbal answer, the shake of your head and the whines you gave were enough for him to just embrace you into his presence. Sunwoo hides you from the world when he sees the tears brimming across the eyes that he’s fallen for. Daring, he presses a kiss on the top of your head, smiling fondly at your more balanced breathing.

“Let’s go home?” The shake of your head made Sunwoo rake for more ideas. “Wanna have a sleepover at my house then?”

“No.” Muffled answer from his chest. “You’re just going to make me sleep on the floor.”

“Hey! You lost the bet last time! Don’t blame your skill issue with rock-paper-scissors on me!”

“Fine then! I’ll just stay here for the rest of the night!”

Oh, he's so in love with you. Sunwoo only coos, his heart fluttering and content when you respond to the playful war that he wages.

“I’ll let you take the bed.” A raised eyebrow is what you offer him with when you crane your head and Sunwoo could tell the suspicion that you had against his words. “I’m serious!”

“Really?”

A roll of his eyes and a scoff, “As if I’ll let you take the floor knowing that you’ll be hungover tomorrow.”

“Well,” a shaky inhale, “you could.”

“Yeah?” This time it’s his turn to have an eyebrow raised. “Why would I do that?”

“Because when you go off and date someone, you won’t be able to keep doing whatever this is.”

“Yeah?” He repeats himself, desperate for a little bit more of your feelings. At least let me down properly, he thinks to himself. “And what happens if I don’t want to put my focus on someone else? What happens if I just want to keep focusing on you? What happens if I just want you in my life and no one else?”

Now, Sunwoo’s hands grip a hold on your upper forearm and pull you away from his body. The moonlight finally reaches your face and Sunwoo observes you thinking, his eyes boring into yours, silently pleading for some sort of indication that would end the pink and red swirls in his eyes whenever he catches even a glimpse of your figure.

“Then I would tell you that I like you and that I have for the longest time.”

Are drunken thoughts still sober thoughts in this situation?

Sunwoo’s head dips dangerously close and it takes everything in him to not press his lips onto yours. If you even allowed any words that imply that he may have taken your heart, he told himself he would look away even if it meant burying himself into the ground and never seeing civilisation ever again. The struggle is written all over his face: the tight wrinkles around his eyes that accommodate the crashing of his eyebrows, the protective hold he has on you and the way he presses his forehead onto yours with his hair tickling you, quiet exhales leaving his lips.

“Please don’t do this to me,” he pleads, “You’re drunk and I’m trying to not cross the line.”

“Cross it…” Mellow and enchanting. “I give you my consent.”

“Don’t.” He grits and tries to still his heart. “I can't…”

“Kiss me, Woo.”

Sunwoo swore that his heart almost leapt out of his chest when his eyes shot open, immediately growing bigger with how you nudged the tip of your nose to his. His temperature receptors feel the shift of the warmer air growing closer to his lips and he can’t help but focus on the way your eyelids flutter close.

The attraction is fatal and so is the small distance left. Unconsciously, even though it’s wrong, he couldn’t help but adjust his position, wanting to claim you as his even if it’s just for a while. Just when your lips are mere millimetres away from touching, Sunwoo denies the touch of heaven, the angel inside gets his hands to fly and block the intimate act with his fingers. A hand cups your cheek, tracing along your jawline and a thumb slots in between your plump lips from reaching his. His breath hitches when you peek at the smooth surface, void of the curves that you were expecting. He watches the stars fade from your eyes, replacing them with a wall that he couldn’t decipher.

Through his eyelashes that flutter quietly and the painful gulp, he prompts you once again, “Let’s go home.” More resolute and grounded than before. “We can talk about this tomorrow.”

The thumb did leave the presence on your cupid’s bow but lingers at your lip’s bottom edge. Sunwoo watches as your lips bounce back after he lightly pulls it down and he sees the dullness from your eyes with every single second that passes. He shoves his sleeves past his fingertips, wrapping the grey around his pointer and starts to collect your confusion on his sleeves.

“I-I’m sorry.”

He could tell it was genuine and he assumed that you might’ve sobered up a little bit within the last couple of seconds. Sunwoo met your forehead once again with his thumb that still held you like you were as fragile as the glass bottle that had been discarded.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not going to leave you. Don’t even bother to think of those things ever again.” He reassures your muddled-up mind. “I’m going to pick you up, okay?”

Between your hazy vision and the churning of your stomach, the only indication you could give is a nod and outstretched arms towards his now-standing figure. Sunwoo adoringly chuckles, bending down and supporting your weight by scooping you up by your waist. He kept your body close to his even when he turned around and kneeled, patting his back for you to slump over.

Out of energy, your arms lazily dangled during the walk, elbows resting on his shoulders during the whole walk. Truth be told, his back aches because you couldn’t get a proper grip on him but he knows as soon as he straightens his back to a more comfortable position, you might actually hit your head and wake up in the hospital. The walk back to his car is quiet, chattering filling the background noise. If you’re awake, you can feel the shaking of his thighs as he carefully rests you on the cushioned seat, an arm coming over his head onto the back of yours as a safety measure from the upper door frame. Without a single sound from you, he successfully buckles you securely in the front seat. Your coat is gently undressed from you to be used to cover your legs, the short skirt only makes you shiver in the night.

“Why do cars always sound so loud?”

Sunwoo complains when he twists the car key to start the engine. His eyes fall to you again, observing your sleeping figure who is unaware of the little jumps and loops his heart made. His pointer reaches over to the loose strands that tickle the front of your face. From the back of your ear, he holds his breath at your slightly gaped lips that pull him closer, drawing him nearer to share a kiss with you. Why did you have to look so stunning despite the reeking alcohol that only becomes stronger in the small space?

Though faint, his reflection from the front window stares at him and he can’t help but sink further into the seat, wanting to hide and run away from himself. “Will you ever look at me the same way?” he grumbles hopelessly into the palms that shield him from reality before driving towards his house.

The exhaustion from the eventful day finally washes over him as soon as he parks his car in one go. Usually, you would give an impressed look and Sunwoo would wiggle his eyebrows when you only scoff at his achievements. The connecting door to his house opens, throwing his things inside the hallway without much thought before jogging back to your side. His eyes narrow, concentrating on making as minimal noises as he can whilst opening the metal surface that separates you and him. A hand pushes on the door while the other does the contrasting action with the handle to avoid the loud click that vehicles make. Thankfully your head isn’t resting on the door, something that he made sure didn’t happen so that you could rest in his house without the bumps of the road lifting your head and slamming it back down due to ruthless gravity.

And as much as Cupid’s curly blonde hair is between all the sides of his fingers, he mastered the art of patience and ‘trusting the process’ as he took a series of deep inhales.

Throughout the whole time, Cupid is impressed at how blind you both prove to be. It’s obvious now as he pays attention to the way Sunwoo treats you and the way that you desperately clutch on his jacket that you both are more than best friends. He ponders if he should shoot another arrow even though the initial one he shot is showing progress.

In this line of work, where he’s used to shooting, and observing for a while before going to another potential couple, he seems to be stuck with the couple in front of him. Up until now, he has never thought to shoot the second arrow that is reserved for a couple that makes him look away distastefully. He’s never met one that makes him take them out of their trance as it’s obvious it became more bad than good for them but what he’s twirling in his hand is not that.

But he starts to think about his decisions whenever you're hurting because of the world and he starts to think of the shatter in Sunwoo’s heart whenever he's around you.

Is it worth it to have you both come together?

“But you know,” the arrow stops between his pointer and thumb, the crest hitting the perimeter of the stationary cloud. Cupid continues to peer over the two, finding himself squealing with the way Sunwoo continues to make teasing jokes to make sure you don’t fall asleep behind the bathroom door while brushing your teeth and changing into your favourite hoodie of his. “I don’t think shooting one towards these two will do much.”

He smiles knowingly, completely immersed in the way that Sunwoo hops over to cradle your head into his chest as soon as you open the door. Your mind is still under the scorching forty percent but you didn't miss the way Sunwoo’s fingers rub on your exposed thigh when he brings you to his bed bridal style.

And if he shoots another arrow?

Oh, Cupid knows that you’re both more than just teenagers in love. Especially in your case, terrified, and for Sunwoo who just wants to see you happy—another arrow means nothing if you both don’t learn and figure out this obstacle yourselves.

With Sunwoo’s help, you’re snugged underneath his blanket, pulling it up to your nose, just the way you like it. The laundry detergent brings you rest, and your brain immediately relaxes as it associates the scent with safety. Your body rests on its side and you watch Sunwoo as he takes a kneeling position on the side of his bed, taking his hand to yours while his other forearm rests on the bouncy futon. The act makes his heartbeat increase once more. “Sunwoo.” The boy only keeps his affectionate eyes on yours while he strokes your hair. “Thank you for picking me up.”

The brushes of his thumb on the back of your palm could lull you to sleep. “Can I sleep on the living room couch today then?” Mischievously suggesting, knowing how much you would complain about leaving you alone in the room for the whole night.

The question makes you pout awake again, “You’re going to leave me?” Maybe you weren’t up for the joke and Sunwoo smiles sadly, clearing his throat and shaking his head assuringly.

“I’m just joking with you.” An airy laugh seeped out from his lips. “I’ll sleep on the floor.” Pointing at the unoccupied space behind him. “Don’t worry.”

“Or you can sleep next to me…”

Cupid feels the tension in the air after your suggestion. He propels the bed of clouds, flying closer to have a better view of you two. He’s so invested in the way Sunwoo softly looks at you that the shake of his head after some thinking makes him scream once more, burying his face into the white puff of air.

“Why not?” You scooted against his bed, making space to prove your point that the bed was big enough for you both. “It’s not like we’ve never done it before…”

“I know.” Sunwoo stands from his kneeling position but you refuse to let go of his hand. Instead, your hands slide up from his wrist to entangle them between his fingers. “Bubs…”

“I’m scared.” That’s all it took for Sunwoo’s knees to hit the floor again, coming closer to you. “What if I do manage to fall in love but then I just get hurt?”

“Then he’ll deal with me.” It elicits a whimper from you and your vision suddenly blurs once more. The tears brim up more when Sunwoo’s hand cups to rest against the apple of your cheeks with his knuckles, brushing in a circular motion. “Love them, it’s okay.”

The pressure you’re exerting on his fingers makes him furrow his eyebrows. “You’re okay with that?”

“If he makes you happy then I’m okay with that, yes. If he is the one that will make you believe in love again, then yes.” And his shoulders shrug, not as a way to say that he doesn’t care about your feelings because he does—everyone how much he cares for you. “I just want you to be happy.”

“Then make me happy.”

There it is again.

The implication that makes his eyes dart his focus from your heavy eyelids to the small gap between your lips. It travels down to your joined hands that lay next to your plump lips. He loves it. The sight of your hands, intertwining beautifully between his and the way that you’re holding him close to you as if his presence is a gift—if only he knew how much you treasure him.

“Get some sleep okay?” Ignoring it once more by throwing his eyes to his lap.

By some miracle, Sunwoo manages to break free from your hands but not before he wipes away the leftover final drops from your doe eyes. He didn’t completely leave your side just yet though. Sunwoo just sinks his right forearm on the edge of his bed, his left on top before resting his chin later on. His eyes blinked and he held the momentary darkness for a few seconds longer before opening them again. You understand, nodding defeatedly. With Sunwoo looking over you, admiring you even though he’s much more exhausted after running around your house with an energetic child, you were able to finally slumber off to sleep. He only thought about standing when heard your drowsy breathing becoming soft snores. Even then, his hand snakes behind your nape and under all your strands, pulling your luscious locks up to hang over his pillow and leaving the cold air to cool your exposed skin.

“I love you.”

And that’s when Cupid made up his mind.

The first thing that greets you when the flock of birds chirps too loudly for your liking is the gutting feeling of wanting to run down to the toilet bowl and empty the contents of your stomach. The second thing that hits you is the desert down your throat, your hand blindly rummaging on the bedside table to find the familiar shape of your water bottle. The third thing that hits you is the remnants of a tight non-existent band that wraps around your head.

It’s all a good potion to remind yourself never to drink so much liquor in such a short period.

But the fourth thing that hits you as you rise to a sitting position, thumb and pointer running up horizontally across your eyebrows, is the familiar room that isn’t yours. It takes you a while to notice but you recognise the one familiar arcade teddy bear on the very unorganised study table on the opposite of the room. The picture framed your scowl while the owner of the room held his phone up, tongue sticking out to the camera with the little peace sign above your head.

“Shit…how the heck did I get here?” Your bed hair becomes a bird's nest in a matter of seconds. “Wait so last night I went to the convenience store,” tracing your steps carefully, “drank at the beach…” but a blank after that, “Sunwoo must've picked me up.” The dread hits at the name you just spoke, “I’m not ready to face him!”

The blanket is ripped out from your lower body, and the drop in temperature sends goosebumps all over your body. Quite simply, you're embodying the term of waking up on the wrong side of the bed without its metaphorical meaning.

There was no point in peeking through the slit between the door and the frame of Sunwoo’s bedroom because you knew directly on the other side is a wall with framed pictures of the family who resides there. You ready yourself with an inhale through your nose, preparing a bunch of words despite the still evident headache before exhaling through your mouth.

The smell of batter and vanilla becomes more evident as soon as your hand creaks the door open. It excites you knowing that your favourite breakfast isn't too far away from reach. The smile that you gave though, reminds you of the pressing matters when it strikes pain through the veins on the side of your head.

Your exclamation to the feeling is what rips Sunwoo out of his daydream, turning around to see you tiptoeing not too far behind him like a thief.

“You're awake.”

Beside him, a tower of the perfectly circular cooked batter is stacked in five, maple syrup around the rim of the treat as it drops down naturally onto the rest of its friends below. You could tell that he probably timed each side with how uniform the colours of each side were. Sunwoo hasn't picked up the panic behind your eyes, setting the plate on the island between you both.

“Take this first.” He pops the white pill from its aluminium seal and reaches for the full glass of water he prepared earlier from the fridge.

Sunwoo didn't know that his proud smile would fall as quickly as you almost did when you stepped back. His feet rooted themselves to the slippery wood underneath, his eyes widening even though you managed to grab hold of the backrest of the couch next to you.

“Are you alri—”

“I should take my leave now.” You rushed to say, “My mum must be wondering where I am.”

“I told her last night, don't worry.”

Right. Just like all the times he has done whenever you fell asleep on his shoulder while watching anime with him.

“Eat something first and I'll drop you home.” His head tilted to the alluring warm cakes on the table.

The perfect cylinder on his hand would have slipped from his sweaty palms with how you shake your head in the slightest. Now he's picking up something. Do you remember the events from last night? No, you've always been a forgetful one and he would help you remember by setting up cues and would always have his camera facing you to record the horror creeping up your face.

Whatever it is, he felt the need to take the lead first, especially with how you're avoiding even looking his way and sitting down on the board of the furniture from before, your hands gripping the polyester beside your body. He's not too far away from you, maybe a metre apart but he's feeling anxious with the air himself, turning away from you momentarily.

You hear the exhausted exhale from your best friend and that made you scared to even look his way. The rim of the glass hits the marbled top. “I'm not going to do anything to you, you know?”

“Of course I know…” Keeping your emotions at bay.

“Then?”

Cupid raised both his eyebrows, hoping that you would be able to find the courage to rightfully confront Sunwoo for the feelings in your heart. His hands clamp together, lacing together as he rests his forehead on the knuckle of his thumb, silently encouraging the growth of the couple in front of him.

“I know that it’s my fault too that I didn’t speak up about the date with Jaemin. I should’ve been more honest to him first and foremost because he’s done nothing but nice to me and yes! The date was really nice and he was a gentleman like you said Sunwoo but,” the implications of the last word wipes the proud smile that he had, lips pursed to a thin line, “I wish that you didn’t put me on the spot especially when you know that I’m scared of being around men.”

There was no audible answer that he could truly give you. What you said is true and he hates that he projected to hide his feelings for you in the worst possible way. He left you alone at night, in the hands of someone that he can’t fully tell your mother honestly that he knows. The shake of his head is slow but harsh and with a glance, you could hear the cogs turning inside the distraught boy’s head.

“I’m sorry.” Wavering in fear.

“Please don’t be.” He responds. “I’m sorry.”

Despite shutting his eyes, Sunwoo feels the looming shadow that falls over his slumped figure against the tabletop. His hands join together, a loud clap making you jump a little bit at the force of his thoughts. You watch as his hands drain the blood flow, slowly making his fist white. And though your chest hurts from the anxiety running through your veins, you decided that it was best for you to clear the awkward air.

What you did is beyond anyone’s imagination but it felt right as compared to last night—as compared to all those times two years ago. Your fingers cradle the underside of Sunwoo’s jawline, separating his chin from his chest and angle his shocked face to yours. Sunwoo would’ve genuinely run away usually, maybe even letting out one of those screeches that would leave you scolding him for the pounding of your eardrums, but something else is pounding in both of your chests and it’s syncing with each other for the first time.

You move little by little, your toes slowly moving in so that you can stand between his slightly open legs until the sides of your knees are between his. Slowly, the anterior side of his forearms starts to lift from the surface behind him, testing the waters to hold you in his arms by ghosting his already encircled arm around your middle. When you nod, Sunwoo finds himself tightening the hold immediately, pulling you into the crook of his neck while your fingers thread on the loose white of his fabric. His fingers widen their reach, wanting to feel your figure on a wider surface area.

“I’m in love with you.”

It’s such a simple line.

It wasn’t extravagant nor was it unique or poetic, yet you find yourself wanting to record it so that you could play it back whenever and wherever.

“I know you’re scared.” He affirms to your growing whimpers. “But I want to continue to love you if you’ll let me.”

Now it’s official. There was no buildup to the streams down your cheeks but you still let yourself indulge in the pent-up frustration over your lack of trust for the boy who is holding you like you’re the most precious thing in the whole world.

“If our friendship is going to end and you'll never look my way ever again, then at least please let me hold you a little bit longer.”

You wish you could at least have enough strength to throw some punches on his chest but you’re breathless in both the way your throat begs for air and in the way Sunwoo nudges the tip of his nose to a sensitive part of your neck. The same area grows colder without any effort and it takes you less than a second to realise that Sunwoo is crying himself.

“Why are you crying?” You ask as best as you can through your tears.

“Because you’re crying.” He simply answers. “It hurts me that you’ve gone through so much.” Sunwoo’s lips shudder, taking in small breaths himself. “But I’m really proud of you.”

“You say that all the time.”

Sunwoo chuckles, acknowledging the times he did say it. “And I’ll never get tired of saying it.”

Cupid relaxes his shoulders when you both slightly pull away, tender eyes looking upon each other with a wide grin appearing on you both but he could tell you both are trying your best to not look away, wanting to live in the love that the other shared in the moment. He was about to flap his wings, thinking that it was enough eavesdropping for today but you quickly pressed a light pucker to Sunwoo’s left cheek. Then to his right. Then to his philtrum. He couldn’t help but cover his eyes at your daring act but what made him push back further to the corner of the room to give you space were your words.

“Cross the line, Sunwoo.”

Sunwoo grips your waist, groaning against your lips and he’s momentarily still until you swipe the crease forming on his forehead and whisper a variation of assuring words. That’s all it takes for Sunwoo to finally close the gap between you both. It’s no longer a metre, sixty or thirty centimetres, not with the way his hands roam all over your body, needing more confirmation that you’re the one kissing him. His hands slide from your waist, gently to cup both of your bottoms, pushing you up closer to him. It elicits a soft gasp from you but Sunwoo pulls on your bottom lip to connect you back to him. Your dazed eyes met his dark ones and he took this time to swipe his wet muscle across the teeth mark to soothe the pain.

Feverish for affection, your zooms towards his lips once more, locking the plumper ones between yours before pulling away with a soft hum and engulfing the other one to give it the same amount of love. Sunwoo’s heart melts at the way you lightly tug on his scalp, the other hand sliding down along his nape and resting your palm on his collarbone. What makes him crazy is the vertical swipes that you give on his defined collarbones. He parts the kiss, pushing himself off the edge of the table and lifts you there, trapping your body with his palm on either side of your body.

“Bubs.”

“You okay?”

“More than okay.” Sunwoo chuckles, devouring your lips once more. “Can I kiss you somewhere else?” As soon as the confirmation is given, a warm hand wraps on the back of your neck and Sunwoo starts to alternate the pressure from his open mouth on the side of your neck, starting to mark you his.

The black strands of his hair swallow every part of your gripping hold on him but he smirks against your skin with the little pretty sounds dripping from your lips.

“S-Sunwoo.” Realising now that he’s painting you on a visible area. “My mum and brother are going to see.”

It’s not that you’re embarrassed by him—never him—you’re just shy at the new colour that he places on you, completely unfazed by what others think.

Possessive Kim Sunwoo—you could live with that.

“Can I pull the hoodie down a bit then?” Sunwoo pants against your skin, rough and slightly out of breath. “Only if you want it.” And he made sure you’re comfortable with whatever it’s going to be with how he wipes the forming sweat on your upper spine.

You spent what it feels like a minute holding his gaze to you. “I trust you.”

And he’s back to creating a masterpiece on your skin. Three of his fingers hook on the neckline and expose the body part that he wants to place his hungry lips on next. He watches the way your collarbones become more visible when you deeply inhale and he waits for your next breath patiently. When it does come, you slightly throw your head back at the pleasure of his soft nimbles. Sunwoo didn’t even want to spend a second away from you, his hand pushing on your lower back to press him up against you more. Your mewls are what motivate him more, pushing him just a bit more to finish the work in progress that he has in his head, pivoting his lower lip to a different angle and pressing the final press on you.

You release a breath you didn’t even know you held and Sunwoo frowns at the way you limp your upper body onto him, arms around his shoulder for support.

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to do it that hard.”

Your hair ruffles against his when you shake your head. “Don’t be, I enjoyed it.”

Again, the room is filled with light chuckles once more, your dangling legs kicking the air at the shared moment together. Slowly but surely, the sweat evaporates from your face but your blush is still very evident. But before you become too shy and run away once again, you respond to his words that made you both cry in each other’s safety.

“I love you too, Kim Sunwoo.” Sunwoo’s hand that has been running up and down your back stops, wondering if he heard the right words. You turn to the vein on his neck, kissing along the line until the shell of his ear. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Sunwoo’s heart combusted at that and he only buries his heating face into your shoulder, making you giggle even more. His whole body is on cloud nine and he’s truly the luckiest person in the world to receive such words from you.

“I want to look at you.” He says before pulling away once more, hands planted next to your thighs once more.

Sunwoo’s slender fingers tucked your strands behind your ears, squishing your cheeks in between and said a relay of sweet nothings. Even though his eye smile is mostly on you, occasional glances were being stolen somewhere else. Knowingly, your finger pulls the cloth down and you watch the shift of mischievousness start to leave.

“Is it pretty?”

The adjective is an understatement. Of course, he wanted to say ‘yes’ because it’s his art that he’s proud of. He's the one who put the distinct heart shape there, his teeth mark slowly fading on the tip of the heart where he pivoted before and the remnants of him still slightly shine on your skin thanks to the overhanging light.

“You’re prettier.” Quickly stealing a peck from your lips to silence your shy complaints. “Be mine?”

“Valentine’s Day passed, Woo.”

“Be mine for life then.”

Oh, Kim Sunwoo really does have a way with his words.

“Plus, I’m glad that we didn’t become official yesterday.” Shrugging when you tilt your head, still with that cute smile of yours. “Now we don’t have to spend our Anniversary and Valentine’s Day on the same day. More mandatory days to spend with you.”

A light shove on his chest is what you respond with but your other hand already had a grip on the lower hem of his shirt. Sunwoo almost stumbled when you pulled him back, enveloping your lips with his.

“Thank you for never giving up on me,” Hands cradling your jaw, yours doing the same and you make sure your feelings are known, “I love you so much.”

“I love you more.”

Guess Cupid changed his arrow’s trajectory much to Sunwoo’s content.

Or maybe, it’s not really his doing after all.

Truth is, Cupid never shot an arrow in Kim Sunwoo’s way.

In reality, Cupid actually shot his chance to Na Jaemin and him only—but even he has made a wrong guess. The trust and hope that you and Sunwoo share are unmatched compared to the lovesick eyes that he has matched people with.

“A love that’s greater than my powers…” Though defeated and his self-confidence took a bit of a downfall, how truly upset can he be when he sees you and Sunwoo just embracing each other, body to body, close and loving each other just the way you both are?

He’s glad of his decision to shoot that second arrow to the other boy after you both fell asleep last night.

“Now that’s a mistake that I can live with.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿@heemingyu @cupidjyu

thank you for 100+ interactions!!

[02:04] | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers (mentioned from backstory!), non-idol au! established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, slight angst (?), ​husband hyunjae, he's super patient and understanding, hurt/comfort, wedding vows (it's so cute, i love it) » WORD COUNT: ​3743 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~14 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of pregnancy, insecurities, mentions of a broken family/childhood (reader's side), proofread once

my second timestamp story! thank you for all the love on the first one! (pst! it's sunwoo! 🦝) hopefully, this one lives up to your expectations! (if there are any uwu). sorry for my weird, unscheduled, random posting times > <

shoutout to my mum who (i bet) went through a lot to make sure i would grow up well. thank you for always reminding me that you don't regret having me and loving me with all your being. love you mumma! 💗

navi/masterlist!!

You remembered when you tucked yourself into bed alone after reminding Jaehyun to come to bed soon. He was so close to finishing his work that you didn’t want to force him out of his zone, understanding that he would feel more peaceful if he finished it sooner even if it meant ruining his internal body clock a little bit for it.

Opening your eyes and taking a deep breath in the calming darkness, you smiled at the arm that rested across your now flat stomach. During your whole pregnancy stages, especially when that wicked pregnancy pillow put a physical barrier between you and your loving husband, he would at least reach out and hold your hand (or particularly your stomach bump), a huge downgrade from how his chest would completely be on your back and he hushes you asleep with his soft snores. 

You knew as soon as you turned your head to the right that Jaehyun managed to finish his work, a neutral smile on his face as compared to the slight pout and the subtle crease between his eyebrows as he sometimes grunts in his sleep from the past few days. An affectionate gaze falls upon your eyes when Jaehyun grunts and scoots over to your side of the bed, his unconscious mind telling him to move closer to his wife after he throws the pillow away to the other side of the room in excitement as soon as your new family arrived home three days ago. You chuckle at the way his right hand past the top of your stomach to hook your waist and pull you closer to him. Now half awake, Jaehyun made himself comfortable by burrowing his nose and lips into the crook of your neck and you immediately looked up towards the ceiling to let him do so.

A satisfied hum comes out from the man beside you, “This is nice.” He brushes the warm skin of your neck with his colder nose and his soft lips press multiple kisses from your jawline to your right shoulder.

“Jae.” You chuckle at his playful nature, “Go back to sleep, hm? You have work tomorrow.”

Jaehyun groans at the grim reminder. He’s been at home ever since you came back home, using up some of his leave days to take care of you and your newborn child. He was about to use it all but you stopped him, convincing him that you’re able to take care of yourself and your child, moreover to save those days in case a ‘real’ emergency does occur. Every day and every moment, you look at your husband who you treasure so much and you can’t help but think about how much you love this man with all your heart, mind and soul.

“Don’t remind me of that, bubs.” Finally opening his eyes, he relied on the subtle moonlight that seeped through your curtains and looked at your side view with ‘that’ gaze. 

‘That’ gaze that reminds you every day that you’re worth it for you. ‘That’ gaze that he kept even after ten years of meeting each other. ‘That’ gaze that was plastered on his face when he went down on one knee to propose to you. ‘That’ gaze that was present when he read his wedding vows and wiped the tears on your face when you read yours. ‘That’ gaze (mixed with immense happiness and excitement) when you told him you were pregnant. 

It holds many meanings and you were sure that the list would continue, building from all the blessed experiences so far.

Only chuckling at the way that he pouts cutely at you, you turn your body to face him, creating a small gap between you both as you press a peck on his lips, “Thank you for using your leave days to take care of us.”

“Of course, I would.” Jaehyun shook his head slightly to validate his point, “You both are my whole world. I can’t afford to lose you or baby.” It was the way that your eyes slightly pooled with tears that he replaced the pout and shushing the soft whimpers that left your now shaky lips, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Your once small cries amplified drastically and Jaehyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly pulling you into his embrace. He slips his left hand under your neck, bringing your tear-stricken face into his chest as you sob in his arms. Jaehyun comfortingly whispers sweet nothings into your ear, patting your head and pressing occasional kisses on your forehead. You stayed wordless for a while, enjoying the company and how close your entire body could be now after you gave birth.

“Catch your breath. I’ll be right here.” Jaehyun reminds you between your tired gasps for air, “I’ll always be here next to you, waiting for you, loving you more and more with each passing day.”

You couldn’t do anything but just nod, your heart melting at the sincere words, “I’m scared.”

“Of what, bubs?”

“Like,” You started, audibly voicing out the thoughts that have been swarming and eating you alive inside and out, “what happens if I mess up?”

It isn’t the first time that you had this kind of conversation. The very first time was when the adrenaline from your system was drained after announcing that positive pregnancy test to Jaehyun. You voiced out your worries as an upcoming parent, worried that you would accidentally pass down your problems, anxiety and worries to your child. Out of everything you want the most in the world, all you want is for your children to grow up without your traumas and problems affecting them because that’s not the kind of life that they deserve. Of course, that’s unrealistic. Children are indeed a slight depiction of their parents and how they would act around other people outside the family says a lot about how their parents raised them.

You can just imagine a situation where your anxiety takes over, you crouch down to be eye level with your extremely young child, giving them a lecture about what they should or shouldn’t do, extending that talks to both extreme sides of ‘what if’s and how they should just be more careful, less daring and---

“Jae, promise me that you’ll make sure she doesn’t grow up like me.” It was a desperate plea, almost as if you would walk out of their lives in the next second. The anxiety completely took over your body as you clenched Jaehyun’s shirt in your fist as a physical response, looking up at him desperately and Jaehyun’s eyebrows crashed together, “She doesn’t deserve that, Jae. Those silent cries, hating everyone around me, feeling like no one loved me and wanting to just end---”

“Don’t.” It was stern yet it still held a lot of patience and love. Jaehyun smiles sadly at the words that he has heard multiple times but even so, he would never stop reminding you of all the things he loves about you. He would never stop hugging you, holding your body and pulling you towards him, giving you all his love and company, “Don’t say that about yourself when you’re the reason why I wake up happy every day, bubs.”

“But Jae---”

“You know,” He whispers into the silent yet wavering night. Jaehyun takes a deep inhale of the air, tilting his head to rest his chin on the top of your head, “I was so scared of losing you as time went on.”

You calmed down, shutting your eyes as you focused on his heartbeat to pull you back to the present time. Jaehyun just smiles at the slightly open door of your room and he reminds himself of his newborn child on the other side of their bedroom door. When you hummed confusingly at his words, your husband just nodded, “Why were you scared?”

“Well,” If it wasn’t for the fact that your face was hidden into his collarbone, you would be able to see the blushing mess that Jaehyun was. A deep red blush was on his face, spreading to his ears; but you did feel the warmth on his neck as you kissed his skin delicately and it made Jaehyun more of a mess, “of course if it didn’t work out and you didn’t feel the same way, it would become awkward and even though we were such close friends, I knew that if I was rejected, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. I really could’ve lost you.”

You never really knew this about Jaehyun. Whenever you asked about the day that he confessed to you to be his girlfriend, he only talked about his plans and how your mutual friends all pushed him to confess to you. You also told him about how the same mutual friends pushed you to confess back to him, yet you were a coward that you became used to telling yourself that if you ever ended up with Jaehyun, it would only hinder him in life; because who would love a broken girl when they could love a perfect one instead?

And so when he confessed, asked for a chance and promised to love you dearly after two years of mutual pining, you didn’t realise that time flew by so quickly that on the sixth year when Jaehyun kneeled and asked for your hand in marriage two years ago, a sudden hit of ‘reality’ (or so you called it) crashed into you. 

You really did find love when you thought for the longest, most tiring and hardest times when you didn’t think anyone would love you as you are. Seriously, how could anyone love you when you were still so stuck between believing and convincing yourself that you are enough? 

“I knew I had to take a chance,” Jaehyun continues his thoughts, “because when I closed my eyes and realised that if I didn’t at least try to make you mine, you might just completely slip from my life. Selfishly as well, I didn’t want to see you smiling in another person’s arms and kissing that person every time you wake up and go to sleep.”

The thought of you two doing just that ever since you moved in together five years ago suddenly made you blush and you couldn’t help but let out a string of complaints. Jaehyun just laughs (and quietly lets out a sigh of relief) when you finally release his shirt, wrapping your small hands around his bigger build instead, “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise that you went through all that.”

“No, it’s alright.” He reassures you again for the nth time in the last hour, “I have you now. You are all I ever wanted.” Pulling away and reaching to cup your wet cheeks, his thumbs swipe your almost dry cheek, offering you that familiar warmth that only he could give, “It’s all worth it in the end.”

“Really?” Another tear managed to slip out of your eyes and you couldn’t help but stare at him apprehensively as the devil inside your mind managed to manipulate your thinking, “I’m such a high-maintenance person, Jae…I really wouldn’t blame you if you wake up one day and decide to just…” He shakes his head throughout your small speech, knowing the similar words that you would say to him once in a while, “leave…” It came out quieter than you thought, maybe because he already knew anyway, hence saying it again and again, the red-horned creature in your mind rejoices as your childhood traumas reminded you of how worthless you are to the world.

Usually at this time, Jaehyun would rebut your words immediately but the silence had your heart dropping and for a while, you thought that you had taken the words out of his mouth. Jaehyun kept his tired stare and suddenly you were aware of your dry mouth as you waited for any sort of words from your husband. He removes the hand that was on your cheek, reaching behind to grab his device from the bedside table, “Hold on, okay?”

For a second, you really thought this was it for the both of you. During these moments of much-needed comfort, Jaehyun has always given you his undivided attention but now as the blue light reflects on his squinting eyes, you couldn’t help but let the tears flow down your eyes once again. Did he finally give up on me? Were the only thoughts that swarmed your mind as you watched how his thumb scrolled and colours reflected on the smooth surface of his dewy skin, “Jae?” Time made you desperate for a response and you were about to clench on his shirt again when he let out a small ‘aha’ and played the video on his phone.

You recognised the scene on his phone immediately without looking. The familiar scene, cheers, whooping and excitement radiating off the background noises had you sobbing again. Jaehyun sets the volume, puts his phone back on the bedside table and gives you his attention again, “My mum was sorting videos on her phone when she came across this and sent it to me.” He presses a comforting kiss on your lips and calms your shaking body, “I’m sure you remember this right?”

You just nod and Jaehyun pulls your face into his chest once again, letting the sound from the video consume you both into your worlds.

“As soon as you stepped into those classroom doors, all eyes were on you and undoubtedly mine too.” You were already starting to tear up just from the first few sentences, “Ah…I only just started…” You scanned your next words, just sniffling from the longer sentences that you didn't know how to not cry to while the audience let out words of encouragement and small laughs. 

Your soon-to-be husband steps towards you, kissing the side of your head, “Should I go first?”

“Do you mind?” You laugh, feeling embarrassed. 

“Not at all.” Jaehyun takes out his paper from his suit, taking the microphone from you, “I already knew this would happen guys.” He announced to the audience and you rolled your eyes jokingly, “Ok…I’ll start.”

You knew very well that your eye makeup was most probably ruined and you looked some sort of a mess at the moment so you couldn’t help but stare down at the floor. Jaehyun gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your head, swooning the audience with his romantic gesture making him chuckle before clearing his throat and starting his vows.

“I remember the day I walked into that classroom on my first day of school. No doubt, I didn’t want to be there. Not just at that school or at that classroom: I just didn’t want to be in Seoul. The sudden move because of my dad’s work made me leave all the memories I had in Incheon in a month and as an innocent young child who was already happy with everything, I didn’t want to leave.

Alas, even my mother told me we had to go and that’s when I knew that moving was inevitable. School work was already hard as it was and I had to move to a big city where I knew no one, having to start all over again from the ‘Hi. My name is Lee Jaehyun. I hope we’ll get along well.’ really made me reach the peak of my mood swings during puberty.”

Jaehyun alternates his eye contact between you and the audience who reacts to the groom with happiness, and laughter as some of his closest friends give him encouraging, funny body language. He points them out and the said friends complain whilst the audience just laughs at the group of boys on the side of the stage. However, it was how you finally raised your head and laughed along that made Jaehyun join in as well.

“For the first few weeks, I didn’t make an obvious effort to fit in. As you know, I joined clubs and did after-school activities. Studying was still my priority at this point but even that became so mundane and boring that I crashed and burnt out after a while. But maybe, the burnout was just what I needed because that was how I first met you. Had I not cried in the corner of the library in the ironically ‘health and wellbeing’ section, would you have even spoken to me? Would you have crouched down and tapped on my shoulder to ask if I was okay? Would you have sat down next to me silently as you read your book, waiting for me to answer your question?

The answer is: yes. Or at least I would like to believe so.

Why? Because no one will fully ever understand how much I love you. Maybe if it wasn’t that day in the library, I would’ve met you later. How much later, nobody knows and nobody will ever know because I’m about to marry that girl who made my day so much better in the library. But what I do know is that no matter when, where, why or how we would’ve met, I would have still fallen in love with your smile, your pout, your laugh, and the way you cutely complain about how I mess up your bubble tea order,” Jaehyun gives you a cheeky smile and you just scoff with a smile on your face, “the way you would cry in my arms when you had a bad day, the way you would drop everything when I have a bad day, the way you would try your best to stay awake until I’m done with my other priorities. 

But bubs, I hope you’ll always know that you’ll forever be my first, most top priority.

Even as we fight, cry and shout at each other words that we don’t mean, I hope you’ll always be able to go to sleep thinking that I’ll still love you. I’ll still be right by your side when your insecurities come by and pass. I’ll always remind you that you’ll always be enough no matter what you do. Your best will always be enough and I hope I’ll always be that person who can be your safe, happy place.”

No doubt now that you’re sobbing and when you look at your parents sitting down not far from the stage, your heart does clench a bit as you’re reminded of your childhood. Seeing them cry over Jaehyun’s words does seem a little bit strange to you as they never really minded your words whenever you were struggling with life. But then you remind yourself of what Jaehyun said to you a few seconds ago.

“I know for sure that you’ll always be enough for me.” Jaehyun continues, taking your mind off your parents as he looks at you understandingly, “I love you and I know I’ll continue to love you until the day I take my last breath. I’ll take care of you even when you’re not sick or feeling well, cherish all of you and be there for you even after death because I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The recording ended there and Jaehyun relished in the way that your body stopped shaking, your arms around his waist securely and your breathing back to normal. He knows instantly that you feel better just from those small actions. He also didn’t miss the smile that grew on your face even though you were literally cuddled up against his body, “So,” the deep whisper from your husband only made you push your face even further up his body, now burying your face into his collarbone, “I just want to tell you that she will grow up beautifully just like her mother. Also, we’ll get through this together. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job after all.”

Nodding and burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck, you appreciate the way his words reminded the devil in the back of your head as it stomps off in defeat. The words supported the angel that finally won and it replaced the red creature, kicking the red light away to replace your body with a calming, soothing feeling that soon takes over your whole body, “I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too.” The warmth of the night overpowered the chilly night and the two of you held each other so lovingly that the weight of your eyelids eventually became too heavy for you to hold. Jaehyun waits patiently until sleep fully takes over you, fighting his yawn from escaping his mouth. Quietly, he just continued to stroke your exposed waist delicately, kissing your lips one last time before reminding you once more, “Always.”

It’s all very fortunate that your mind is now at ease and that you both were able to sleep after. But parenting duties call about half an hour later when cries are heard from the other side of the house and both your eyes open instantly. You were the first one to untangle your body from Jaehyun and you looked over to your husband who was still stirring himself awake again for the second time of the night as you both sat up on the bed, “I’m sorry.” You kiss him on the lips, cradling the back of his head and pushing his chest back down on the bed, “I’ll get her. Get back to sleep, Jae.”

“No no, I’ll go.” You disapprovingly groan at your husband who managed to push his sleepiness aside and sit up once again, his head hanging down in exhaustion, “Wha---bubs.” Instantly, you pushed him back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over up until his chin.

You adamantly tell your husband to try and go back to sleep. Jaehyun fakes his nod and closes his eyes, an idea popping up in his head as he plots to joke around with his wife. When you swing your legs over to the side of the bed, ready to stand up once more, Jaehyun quickly hugs you from behind, pressing a kiss on the back of your ear where you’re the most ticklish and sensitive. 

You froze at his actions and even though his sleepy voice was still evident, you could also hear all the love that he could offer you in this world with his playful tone, “Race you there, bubs.”

Jaehyun called in sick the next day.

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️