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Daryl Dixon x Reader-

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Marvel

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Peaky Blinders

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The Last of Us / Pedro Pascal

The Walking Dead 

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6 months ago

Daryl Dixon x Reader

Series-

Unforgettable Memories (Completed)      

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Summary: Y/N Grimes is Rick’s younger sister. You used to be in the military and have enough PTSD to last a lifetime. With Shane’s help you created the quarry camp and came across the Dixon brother’s in the woods. You bought them back to camp, but after that everything changed and you were still trying to figure out if that was a good thing or not.

Pairings: Daryl Dixon x Rick’s Sister!Reader

Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of torture, physical abuse, flashbacks, PTSD, hinted SA

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Welcome to the End (Completed)

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Summary: Y/N Winchester was a hunter like her brothers, following in their fathers footsteps. Saving people, hunting things, the family business.

During a case in Georgia, you meet the Dixon brothers and after saving Daryl’s life against a Chupacabra, the two of you become close. But, when the zombie apocalypse starts, life as you know it changes forever.

Basically a Supernatural/The Walking Dead crossover fic where Chuck starts the zombie apocalypse in S14E20 ‘Welcome to The End’

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Winchester!Reader

Warnings: Language, minor descriptions of blood, violence, homophobic language, small suicide attempt, angst, just usual twd warnings. 

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Broken Trust (Completed)

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Summary: Y/N Walsh meets Daryl Dixon while working as an undercover Police Officer. But, when Daryl finds out the truth about you, you’re forced to move back to King County.

While on duty, a bullet puts you and Rick Grimes in hospital and when you wake up, the whole world has changed.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language, blood, violence, torture, death, racism (not much, but Merle says shit),

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Alpha’s First Daughter (Completed) 

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Summary: You had been on your own for years after escaping the Whisperers. Until you run into a hunter in the woods who’s searching for his brother.

OR

The Walking Dead rewrite from Season 9 to Season 11 with you, Y/N, as Daryl Dixon’s eventual love interest.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Warnings: child abuse, suicidal thoughts, mentions of SA (none of this is in huge detail but will be in future chapters) violence, blood, language

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You’re Not Alone Pt 1 (Completed)

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Summary: You’ve been on your own for 8 months now after your brother died. Scavenging and hunting, using the skills your father taught you to stay alive. Until you came across a little girl lost in the woods. You were determined to get her back to her mother, but once you found her group everything changed and you found yourself falling for the blue eyed archer without realising it.

(Set during Season 2. Roughly around the time Sophia went missing)

Parings: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Language, violence, slightly reference to past abuse, SA, mild descriptions of blood and gore (it’s twd what do you expect?)

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You’re Not Alone Pt. 2 (Completed)

Summary: The reader and Daryl have started to settle into life at Alexandria, but once the group runs into the Saviours and more specifically Negan, your way of life as you know it will change forever. While the universe seems to be set on pulling you and Daryl apart, how far are you willing to go to get back to each other and make things right?

This series picks up during the Season 6 finale and follows the basic story line up till the Season 8 finale, through yours and Daryl’s eyes.

(Spoilers for Season 8 of TWD)

Parings: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of abuse, mild descriptions of blood and gore.

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Suicide Mission (Completed)

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Summary: Before the whole world turned to shit, you lived next door to the Dixon’s. You grew close to the Dixon brothers over the years. You and Daryl quickly becoming best friend, despite your massive  crush on him, (which at the time, you didn’t know he returned).

You weren’t with him when the outbreak started, but against all odds you managed to find him while helping a random group of strangers on the road. It seemed like fate always found a way, even during the apocalypse.

(Set during Season 3 of TWD and will follow the seasons basic storyline through yours and Daryl’s eyes)

Parings: Daryl Dixon x Reader

Warnings: Language, violence, mentions of abuse, mild descriptions of blood and gore, mentions of abuse in some chapters

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THIS MEANS WAR (Completed)      

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Summary: It’s been nearly two years since the war with the Saviours ended. You and Daryl now ran the Sanctuary together and for once life was starting to look good. However, little did you know, your whole world was going to come crashing down around you very soon and there’s nothing you can do to stop it.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Jesus’ Twin Sister!Reader

Warnings: Blood, guts, language (just usual twd warnings), death, flashbacks, injuries, angst with a happy ending.


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Just Hold On

Just Hold On

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Febuwhump Prompt - blood loss

Prompt - ‘A world without you seemed impossible.’

You found yourself pacing the length of the room, getting lost in the repetitive motion of back and forth, back and forth. The dread of what was to come invaded your mind, you were unable to think about anything else. It felt like every time you closed your eyes all you could see was a pale, lifeless body lying there covered in blood.

You felt yourself shuddering as the image assaulted your mind once more.

You couldn’t say how much time had passed before a hand on your shoulder startled you. Your head snapped around to see Rick standing there, a kind smile on his face that did nothing to hide his own worry.

“He’s gonna be okay.” He told you but you could see how he doubted his own words.

Shaking your head, your bit your lip not wanting to direct your anger and fear at the wrong person. You’d seen Daryl hurt plenty of times, you’d been with him since the beginning, you’d seen him bleeding from deep wounds or simply covered in bruises but this…this was different.

This time you didn’t know if he’d survive.

Inside the clinic Denise worked hard to sew him back together, desperately doing what she could without an entire hospital supply room to support her. You and Rick had long been kicked out of the room, distracting her as you watched every move she made.

“You don’t know that.” Was all you managed to say, eyes flickering over to the closed door.

Daryl and a small group had headed out that morning on what should have been an easy supply run and returned hours later laying a bloody Daryl on the floor as they called for help. At that point you couldn’t see the injuries that were hidden by clothing but there was no hiding the blood that had stained most of his shirt.

You had watched as the gates opened, stood frozen once you saw him before running over to the growing group as fast as you could, cupping Daryl’s cheeks in your hands, desperately pleading with him to wake up. Rick was the one who pulled you away so they could get him up to the clinic.

Watching as he was stripped had you turning pale and your stomach twisting as you saw the wounds. There were deep slashes scattered across his torso, bruises forming in the shape of boots. You choked on a sob as Rick cupped the back of the head, hiding your face in his chest as you continued to cry.

It wasn’t long until the two of you were told to wait outside and neither of you were planning on leaving any time soon.

The hours dragged by, you’d gone from restless and pacing to collapsing into the chair beside Rick, the man smiling sympathetically at you as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his chest.

The two of you sat in silence, neither having any comforting words for the other as you waited for any news on the man you both loved. Despite everything you’d been through since the apocalypse started you could honestly say this was one of the worst moments, completely helpless and not knowing whether the man who had been by your side since the beginning, the man who was the only reason you had survived this long, the man who had grumbled and muttered when you followed him from the walker infested warehouse but had somehow along the way ended up falling for you, would survive or not.

A world without Daryl Dixon seemed impossible.

The door to the clinic opening pulled you out of your thoughts as your head snapped up to see an exhausted looking Denise standing there, her mouth opening and closing a few times but no words came out.

You felt your blood run cold, mind jumping to one conclusion at her lack of words. Your eyes pooled with tears but thankfully Rick spoke up before you could spiral much further.

“Denise,” He prompted softly, not sure if he wanted to hear the next words out of her mouth either.

“He’s stable,” She started with causing you to let out a sob of relief, your hand covering your mouth. “But I can’t make any promises, Rick. He could be fine or it could be touch and go.”

You blocked out the rest of her words, the only ones you needed to hear were that he was stable, he was alive. That’s all that mattered. Daryl wouldn’t die, he couldn’t…he’d be fine.

He had to be fine.

“You can see him now.” You heard Denise say, Rick and you both standing before making your way into the room.

You paused in the doorway, more tears falling from your eyes as you looked at him. He looked completely lifeless, skin almost grey as he lay there, shirtless and bandaged up. Needles poked into him as they gave him what he needed to stay alive.

You forced a shaky smile up at Rick as he lay a comforting hand on your shoulder before you walked further into the room and took a seat on the edge of the plastic chair next to the bed.

You’d never seen him like this and you were terrified, hesitating as you lifted your hand, scared that one touch would be all it took before the heart monitor beeped to nothing. You closed your eyes and gently took his hand in yours, waiting for something to happen and breathing out a sigh of relief as nothing did.

“Daryl,” You whispered, leaning down and resting your lips against his hand before pressing a lingering kiss to them. “Please wake up, you have to wake up.” You pleaded with the unconscious man, aware your words would have very little effect but needing to say something.

You looked up as you heard another chair scrap on the other side of the room and watched as Rick sat opposite you, mirroring you as he took Daryl’s hand in his.

“You heard the lady,” Rick smiled, “You gotta wake up, brother.”

You and Rick sat together in near silence for the night, neither one of you wanting to leave the other or Daryl alone. It was a long night and lonely night when Daryl failed to move but you were glad to have a friend.

Days continued to pass without a hint of movement from Daryl. The whole time you refused to move from his side, Rick had to after the first night, too many duties to attend to but if it were up to him he’d have been in that room with the two of you. Though he did stop by often enough to make sure that you were taking care of yourself.

Which you weren’t.

You weren’t holding up and as each day passed you felt yourself losing hope. Food wasn’t even a thought in your mind and if it wasn’t for Rick stopping by several times a day with food then you knew you wouldn’t have eaten anything, even with Rick’s help you only had a few bites at most a day.

Thankfully some of the colour had started to return to Daryl’s face even if he had yet to wake up, Denise said that was a good thing, his body was working on healing itself. It showed Daryl was fighting.

He was also taking to the blood transfusion that she had had to administer. She spoke about red blood cell transfusion, gave you the rundown of the procedure but you tuned her out, could hardly stand to listen to her talk about how much blood Daryl had lost, about how he might still take a turn for the worst.

You spent most of the day just watching him, watching the weak rise and fall of his chest, watching his heart beat on the monitor, watching his eyes to see if there was even a flicker of movement. If you hadn’t had Daryl memorised before you did know, you knew the man like the back of your hand, hell better than that.

There hadn’t been a day that passed in which you hadn’t cried. Everyday that hope faded more and more until it felt like you were drowning. You refused to let go of Daryl's hand, praying that you’d feel it twitch one of these days, praying he’d curl his fingers around yours. Daryl’s hand in yours felt like an anchor, the one thing that kept you holding on.

“How’s he doing today?” Rick asked as he walked into the clinic, smiling sadly as you didn’t even look up at him.

You only had eyes for Daryl.

“Same as yesterday and the day before.” You said bitterly, wanting him to get better so you could leave and get your hands on the Saviours.

Rick watched your emotions play out on your face, understanding what you were feeling all too well. He wanted to rip the face of every saviour, wanted Negan’s head on a stick but he knew they had to be smart, knew that if they struck now they’d lose. Negan would be expecting them.

Rick was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard you let out a surprised gasp, he looked to you, a question on his lips when he paused, watching as your eyes lit up for the first time in nearly a week.

“Hey,” You said, huffing a laugh of absolute disbelief, “You’re ok, you’re ok,” You repeat like a mantra.

The feeling of Daryl’s fingers tightening around your own was just about the best feeling in the world. The complete feeling of relief that ran throughout your body made you feel lighter than you had in days, like a weight had been suddenly and breathtakingly removed from your back.

Rick watched in amazement as his best friend scrunched his eyes closed hard before he tried to pry them out, Y/N watching his every move like a hawk. It took a few attempts before Daryl managed to open his eyes, blinking against the harsh lights before his eyes settled on you.

At this point your eyes were filled, yet again, with tears but this time they were tears of disbelief, tears of happiness, tears of fear as you realised how close you’d come to losing the most important person in your life.

“Y/N,” He managed to grumble out before he started coughing, causing you to move, quickly grabbing your cup of water and guiding it up to his lips, helping him get the water down carefully.

Once he was finished you put the cup back and moved yourself onto the bed, being careful of his torso as you did so. He looked up at you, immediately noticing the dark circles under your eyes and the worry that was written across your face plain as day.

“Ya need t’sleep, baby.” He croaked out causing you to let out a watery laugh, the man nearly died and here he was still more worried about you than he was himself.

“Needed to make sure you were ok.” You told him, letting your hand gently reach up and cup his cheek, smiling shakily as he leaned into the touch.

“M’okay.” He assured you, turning his face into your palm and placing a soft, barely there kiss upon it.

“You nearly died.” You told him with a choked sob, desperately trying to swallow down tears.

Daryl’s gaze shifted from you over to Rick, who stood forgotten by the door feeling like an intruder. Rick shot him a shaky smile which was returned weakly before Daryl turned his attention back to you.

“S’gonna be ok, gonna get the bastards.” He told you, watching as laughed and nodded along with his words. “But you gotta sleep, darlin’.”

Those words had you falling in love with the man all over again, this idiotic, absolutely selfless man who put you before him every single day, even when he was practically on his death bed only days ago.

You couldn’t help but smile at him, a smile that was only reserved for him, eyes soft and lips upturned with a tilt of your head. It was the smile Daryl loved most, one only he could draw from you.

Carefully you leaned down, your lips brushing against his so softly. It was exactly what you needed, the feelings of his lips moving against yours, proof he was alive. You could finally breathe properly.

Eventually you pulled back, resting your forehead on his, causing him to smile up at you. He managed to lift his hand up, barely hiding a wince from you, and rested it on your cheek, letting his fingertips run along your cheekbone.

“I love you,” you whispered, swallowing hard around the lump in your throat, he was ok.

“I love you too, darlin’.” He told you, just as softly, the two of you in your own little world, so absorbed in each other you didn’t notice Rick slipping out of the room with a smile of his own, glad that his two best friends had found each other whilst the world around you went to hell.

__________

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Don't Stop Believin'

Don't Stop Believin'

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Febuwhump Prompt - "How Long Has It Been?"

Prompt - ‘Don't you stop believin', once you do there ain't any damn hope for the rest of us.’

The night seemed to pass in silence and by morning it was no better, though what could anybody say? People had died, good people had died. Your gaze shifted over to Andrea who had yet to move from Amy’s body before you turned to look at Daryl, wincing as he brought a pickaxe down on another walker’s skull.

You heard the group talking, worried for the woman, and watched as the new guy, Rick, walked over to her, speaking gently only to have a gun pointed to his head.

“Hell,” You heard Daryl say as they continued discussing what to do, “I’ll take the shot from here.”

You rolled your eyes as you stood up, the statement was met with angry outbursts as expected.

“C’mon,” you said to him, grabbing his upper arm and pushing him away from the small group that was gathered only for him to shake you off with a glare as he marched over to Glenn, picking the axe up again only for a teary-eyed Glenn to start shouting at him about where the dead went.

You went to follow him but were stopped as a hand grabbed your arm. You felt your eyebrows pull together as you looked from it and up to Shane who shook his head at you. You glared at him before looking back to Daryl and pulling your arm out of Shane’s hold with a grunt, turning away from both men.

It wasn’t long before the arguing started up again, you glancing over when you heard Daryl shout.

“Y’all left my brother for dead, you had this comin’.” He told them.

“Hey,” You started but were cut off by Jacqui’s yell, all of you looking at her, eyes widening when she told you Jim had been bit. T-dog stepped forward, grabbing the man in his arms as Daryl lifted his shirt and upon seeing the bite he took moved over to you, gently pushing you back as he placed himself between you and Jim.

“I say we put him out of his damn misery right now,” Daryl said as the group argued over what to do next.

“You’d want that, would you?” Shane asked with a scoff.

“Yeah, and I’d thank you for it.” Daryl shot back, taking a step closer to Shane.

“I hate to say it, but Daryl’s right-” Dale began but Daryl cut him off.

“Thank you, someone with some damn sense.” He said before he launched himself at Jim, pickaxe swung and ready to kill but he was stopped when a gun was aimed to his head causing you to take a step forward.

“We don’t kill the living.” Rick said, causing you and Daryl to let out a joint scoff.

“He says with a gun to a man's head.” You said, watching as Rick turned to glare at you.

“Get him out of here.” He said to you, and you rolled your eyes at the man before you grabbed Daryl’s arm and pulled him away.

“You need t’calm down,” You told him as you pulled him away from everyone, watching as he looked at you in disbelief, “I know you’re pissed as hell for Merle, you have every right to be but now isn’t the time.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Daryl said with an eye roll as he swung the pickaxe down on another walker.

Eventually the group decided to head into the city and towards the CDC on nothing but a theory. The next morning you were all packed up, shoving your bag in the bed of the truck next to Daryl’s bike, the two of you leaning against it as the rest of the group said their goodbyes to the family who decided Birmingham was a better option, you couldn’t say you blamed them either. This CDC business didn’t seem like a sure thing, hell even Shane hadn’t been sold on it, but Daryl was going and that was good enough for you.

Shane gave the group a nod before he told them they should get moving. You climbed into the car with Daryl, glad it was just the two of you as you’d had enough of the constant arguing between the group.

You glanced over at Daryl as he drove, staring straight ahead and chewing on his thumb. You knew he was worried about Merle and hated that you had no words to say to him for the first time since he’d saved you.

Daryl had been out hunting alone one day and came across you, alone and tired and about to be bitten by a group of walkers. You only had a knife and couldn’t deal with them all, so with an eye roll Daryl lifted his crossbow and took them out easily leaving you panting and looking up at him with wide eyes.

From that moment on you’d become Daryl’s own shadow, a permanent fixture in his life, worming your way in without his permission. And it was without his permission because that man had put up every wall, snarled and snapped at you, tried to put as much distance as he could between the two of you, but you were nothing if not persistent and somehow Daryl found himself accepting that you were there to stay, accepting and finding that he didn’t mind.

Merle had found it hilarious, this girl who in the other world wouldn’t have given somebody like Daryl Dixon another glance was hanging around him like he was fucking Brad Pitt or whoever it was these days.

You couldn’t help but smile as you remembered Merle’s words, remember the slight pinkness that spread across Daryl’s cheeks as he shoved his brother's hands off of him with a grumbled ‘shut up’.

“What you smilin’ at?” He asked as he glanced over at you.

“The day we met.” You told him, watching as he looked away from the road and at you with a scoff.

“The day you nearly died, ya mean?”

“I had it under control.” Was the rehearsed response he expected, you’d been saying it since that day even though the pair of you knew it wasn’t true, without Daryl you would never have lasted this long.

“Sure ya did,” He chuckled, turning back to the road.

You turned in your seat, bringing your legs up to cross them together as you faced Daryl. He glanced at you questioningly but you stayed silent for a few moments.

“I’m really sorry about Merle.” You told him quietly, looking away from him and down to your hands, fiddling with your fingers.

“Don’t be,” Daryl said, tone hardening before he shook his head, “He’s a tough sonofabitch, he’ll be alright wherever he is.”

“We’ll find him,” You promised him, laughing softly at the doubtful look he shot at you.

It took a little over four hours before you arrived at the CDC, climbing out of the truck and scrunching your nose up at the smell of the dead. You walked over to the pavement, sticking with Daryl with your knife raised.

As you walked closer to the building the smell became worse, everyone coughing and you gagged, smiling gratefully as you took the red bandana from Daryl and held it to your nose, choosing to breathe in Daryl’s scent over this any day.

You watched, feeling any bit of hope you had leave you, as Rick banged desperately against the shutters, begging to be let into no avail.

“We gotta go, now.” Daryl said, turning around and grabbing your arm as he pulled you back in the direction of the vehicles.

“He’s right,” Lori said, “Rick, we can’t be in the city at dark.”

“The camera moved.” He said before he went back to banging at the shutters, Shane grabbing him around the neck and pulling him away, but you all froze as the shutters lifted and the door opened.

You let out a huff of disbelief, looking up at Daryl who raised an eyebrow down at you.

It wasn’t long before you were all sitting around a table, actual food and alcohol spread out before you. Daryl sat next to you, happily sharing a bottle between the two of you as everybody laughed and talked.

After getting some food, Jenner showed you all down to where you could sleep and shower causing you to all laugh in relief. Everybody went their separate ways, Daryl followed you and the two of you paused outside of one of the rooms.

You both turned to face each other, words on the tip of your tongues but nothing coming out.

“Together?” You managed to ask because something about sharing a room was different to sleeping close together outside.

“Together.” Daryl murmured and opened the door, holding it open for you to enter.

You laughed loudly as you flopped down onto the sofa, letting your eyes fall closed as you savoured the soft feeling underneath you, missing the way Daryl’s lips turned upwards as he watched you from the door before he shook his head.

“You want to shower first?” You asked as you sat up, gesturing towards the bathroom.

“S’all yours.” He told you softly.

That night you tried to offer the sofa to Daryl but he was adamant about sleeping on the floor, blanket bundled around him as he lay in your eye line.

“You think there’s a cure here?” You mumbled tiredly, the hot shower and alcohol running through your system were doing their best to make you sleepy.

Daryl scoffed into the darkness; arm flung over his eyes as he thought about your question.

“Nah, I don’t.” He told you, just as quietly as you had spoken.

“Me neither.” You admitted causing him to open an eye and squint over at you, out of the two of you, you were the hopeful one, the one with wonder and belief in a better future.

“Don’t you stop believin’,” He mumbled, and you barely caught the words but managed to make them out, a smile spreading across your face, “You stop believin’, ain’t no damn hope for the rest of us.”

“How long has it been?” You asked him quietly, “since you gave up on a cure?”

“Hell if I remember, Y/N/N, I knew the world had gone to shit long before damn walkers started roaming ‘round.” He told you honestly, practically feeling the frown he couldn’t see through the dark and for some reason he wanted to say something else, something to make you happy. “Then I met this dumbass who nearly got herself killed in the woods, damn walkers tryna take chunks outta her. The same dumbass got me believin’ that there must be somethin’ good left in this damn world.”

“I had it under control.” You told him after a few moments had passed, voice soft and a smile clear in it.

“Nah, you didn’t,” Daryl told you with a chuckle, “don’t matter though, I’ll deal with them all, gotta make sure you stay alive.”

“I’m terrified,” you confessed quietly, “of walkers, of there never being a cure, of what’s to come but there’s this part of me that’s glad for the damn end of the world because I wouldn’t have met you otherwise.” You told him with a laugh, letting your hand dangle off the edge of the sofa, stretching in Daryl’s direction.

You fell asleep that night with a smile and a warm feeling in your stomach that had nothing to do with the alcohol in your system and everything to do with the hand in yours.

Good things never lasted though and that warm, happy feeling was replaced with sickness and dread as you stared at the screen showing how the disease infected the brain, watched how the brain stems became active again though the human part remained dead. You felt your eyes tear up as you struggled for breath, looking over to Daryl who looked as unnerved as you felt.

“You’re not listening to him,” Andrea said, back against the worktable, “There’s nothing anywhere, no scientists, no cure…nothing.”

Her words sent ice through your veins, turning your blood cold as anxiety turned you sick and you struggled to hold back tears as you stared at the screen, watching as the walker was put down.

“Man, I’m gonna get shit faced again.” Daryl said into the silence causing you to let out a startled and slightly manic laugh.

“Count me in.” You said and followed him out of the room.

The two of you sat together on the sofa, the room sombre as you passed a bottle back and forth between you.

You didn’t know how long you sat there before an alarm sounded and the lights went off for a moment before the emergency power set in. You turned to Daryl with wide, scared eyes and he hated it. He hated that you always turned to him because he didn’t have an answer, all he knew was he had to get you out of there.

“We’re gettin’ out of here now.” Rick shared the sentiment it seemed and you all made your way down to the computer room, seeing Jenner sat there.

“What’s happenin’, doc?” Daryl yelled just before the door shut, sealing you all in the room.

Your eyes widened in panic as you looked from the door to Jenner and then to Daryl.

“You sonofabitch!” He snarled, lunging for the doctor. Rick barely caught the man before he got there and shoved him over to you, you catching him by the arm and digging your nails into his skin in fear.

“Jenner, open the door.” Rick demanded.

You listened with dread as Jenner explained exactly what the CDC was, just how many secrets it held, how many dangerous things that were contained within the walls.

“V.I, what’s H.I.T.S?” Rick asked and you let out a shuddering breath as she explained it, closing your eyes as tears escaped them.

“High-Impulse Thermobaric fuel-air explosives consists of a two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other known explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5,000° and 6,000° and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired.” The voice explained.

You choked on a sob as you turned into Daryl’s chest, the man tensing for a moment before he wrapped his arms around you.

“It sets the air on fire, no pain, no grief, just…nothing.” Jenner said and you felt Daryl tighten his grip on you.

“Open the damn door.” He said, his voice scarily calm.

“It’s better this way.” Jenner told you and you felt Daryl let go of you and picked the pickaxe up before making his way over to the door and began trying to break it open.

“It won’t work,” Jenner told him, voice devoid of emotions, “that door is designed to withstand a rocket launcher.”

You watched as Daryl flew down over to Jenner, pickaxe raised to swing down on him.

“Yeah, well your damn head ain’t.” He snarled but was, once again, held back and dragged away from the man.

“This is our extinction event.” The scientist said and your nose flared as you tried to keep the tears at bay but his words turned your blood cold.

You jumped, stepping closer to Daryl as Shane started shooting computers, sparks flying from them as Rick wrestled the gun off of him.

“You done?” He asked and Shane looked up at him in defeat.

“Guess we all are.” He said coldly.

Jenner started talking about test subject 19, his wife and you almost, almost, smiled as Daryl rolled his eyes before he picked up the pickaxe again and made his way over to the indestructible door and began hitting it.

You followed him over, taking a seat on the railings as you watched him.

“Daryl,” You called softly, and he paused for a second to look over at you,

“Could help, ya know.” He mumbled as he turned back to the door.

“Took us dying for you to let me use the pickaxe?” You asked, finding it wasn’t as hard as it should be to smile.

Daryl went to reply but before he could the door opened and relief flooded your system. Daryl grabbed your hand tightly, pulling you off the railing and out of the door, not sparing a glance back.

“Yeah, it did,” Daryl said, causing you to look at him questioningly before he tossed a pickaxe over at you. “Get ‘em open.” He gestured towards the windows.

You barely caught the axe but did as he said, running over to the windows and trying to smash them.

“Who throws a pickaxe at somebody?” You asked with a grunt, fear taking over as they didn’t crack under the pressure.

Pretty quickly the others joined you and Daryl trying to get out of the building, smashing anything they could find at the windows, firing bullets at it and finally Carol pulled a grenade out of her bag causing everybody's eyes to widen.

Daryl grabbed you and practically threw you onto the floor seconds before Rick set the grenade off, you all watching in relief as the windows shattered and quickly ran over to the truck, climbing in and looking over at Daryl.

“Holy shit.” Was all you could manage causing him to chuckle breathlessly as the two of you watched Dale and Andrea stumble out of the building.

“Get down,” Daryl yelled, and you did as he said just as the building exploded, watching in horror as the fire engulfed it and realising how close you were to being in that.

Daryl panted next to you, eyes darting over to you to assure himself that you were here, you were fine, you were alive.

He’d gotten you out, he’d gotten you out and you were safe.

__________

Daryl Dixon Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) - @lovinnholland, @canadailluminate , @janesofia7, @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @classyunknownlover, @cole22ann, @levisbloodcut, @alexxavicry, @mystic-writings, @lizamango, @urbestgrrl, @morganaah, @kaitieskidmore1,


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Always Look For Ya

Always Look For Ya

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Febuwhump Prompt - "Does that hurt?"

Prompt - ‘I never doubted you, not you, never you.’

Sweat pooled on your forehead, slowly making its way down your face as you stood, panting, using all your strength to press against the door, desperately trying to keep it closed despite the horde of walkers pushing against it.

A desperate cry left your lips as you felt the door push open enough so that a few hands manage to slip through the crack and your eyes darted around the cabin you had found yourself in and a huff of relief left you as you saw a walker free exit, thankfully they hadn’t made there way around to it yet. The only problem was that you knew the moment you took your back off the door a swarm of walkers were going to flood into the room, you as their only target.

It was times like this you really wished you’d listened to Daryl.

Still you knew you couldn’t stay there and had to take a chance before the walkers started to block both exits, leaving you trapped in the cabin with nothing but your knife. You let your head fall back against the moving door, scrunching your eyes shut as you took a deep breath, knife gripped tightly in your hands before you pushed off the door.

You were halfway across the room when the first wave of walkers pushed their way in, most of them tripping over each other and falling to the floor but some were quick, moving forward to make grabs at you. You stabbed your knife into the skull of one who got too close for comfort before you pulled it out and struggled a few times to open the exit door.

It took a few attempts but eventually you were out of the door and running down the steps, walkers following you out as you looked around seeing nothing but trees and cursed yourself for never letting Daryl teach you the basics of tracking so you could find your way back to somewhere familiar.

Still, despite no clear destination in mind you took off running as more and more walkers made their way out of the cabin and over towards you.

You didn’t stop until you were forced to by the burning in your sides, panting as you slumped against a tree in an attempt to slow your racing heart. Looking up you grimaced as you saw the sun was beginning to set, the air turning cooler, a relief for your sweat stained skin, but you knew it wouldn’t be long until night, the walkers even more active as darkness fell.

You knew you had to find Daryl, you knew he would be looking for you, no way would that man ever leave you behind.

You heard a groan from behind you and quickly took off running again, feeling like you were getting nowhere as the scenery stayed the same and it wasn’t long before you were stopping again, though this time not on your own accord.

You barely even registered what had happened, only feeling the sharp pain against your forehead and a stinging in your hands as suddenly you were looking down at the forest floor. Your head shot up as you felt a tight grip on your ankle and the sound of snarling and teeth gnashing together but had to paused when a wave of dizziness spread through your head.

You pushed through it and turned to look at the walker who was hidden in the bushes, lower body missing as it tried to take a chunk out of your lower leg. You thrashed against its hold, a cry leaving your lips as you tried to pull your ankle away from it, eventually pushing yourself up and piercing its skull with your knife.

With a tired huff you let yourself fall back down, wincing as twigs and stones poked into your back but all the energy you had was drained from your body as you looked up at the darkening sky. You winced again and lifted your hand to your forehead only to frown at the blood that stained your fingers before your gaze shifted to the cuts littered across the palm of your hands from where you’d tried to stop the fall.

Your eyes fell shut as you once again cursed yourself for not listening to Daryl earlier that morning.

You had been sitting on one of the car bonnets, listening as Daryl and Rick spoke about supplies that were running low. Daryl had offered to go on a run, a building a few miles out that they hadn’t checked yet could give them what they needed.

You’d perked up from your position as you grabbed the chance to leave the prison but Daryl was shaking his head at you before you even opened your mouth, leaving you pouting over at him.

“Y’not coming, we don’t know anythin’ about this place.” He had told you but you’d just shaken your head right back at him, giving him your best pleading expression and watched as his stern expression crumbled. “It’s dangerous, Y/N/N.” He’d warned you but you didn’t back down, anything to have a few hours away from the prison and who better to spend them hours with than Daryl. “Fine,” He finally relented and you grinned over at him as no words were needed to persuade the man, “but you stay with me the whole time, no wanderin’ off.”

You’d agreed to his rules, not planning on going anywhere without him anyway. Though you had been a member of the group from pretty much the beginning you rarely went on supply runs because whilst you could deal with walkers it wasn’t your forte.

Losing Daryl hadn’t been your fault, not when the building you were in had caved in on itself and you searched everywhere for the man without success. You figured he’d be looking for you and when he couldn’t find you he’d make his way back to the bike you’d left a few miles back, the place he’d told you to go if things went south.

Too bad you weren’t half as good as he was at navigating yourself through the woods, you swore you knew exactly which way you’d come in from but somehow you’d ended up in the middle of a herd, finding the cabin before one of them bit you.

You knew you had to pull yourself up, knew you had to find Daryl and if not him then at least find somewhere safe to hole up whilst you waited for the man to use those tracking skills of his to find you.

With a groan you finally stood up, steadying yourself against a tree as you blinked away the pain in your head before picking a direction and sticking to it, knowing you were well and truly lost with only less than an hour of light left to find something.

Your knife was gripped in your fist as you walked for another half an hour, two walkers dead somewhere behind you as you kept moving, knowing that if you stopped the exhaustion would take over and you’d be done for.

You heard a rustle somewhere to your left, twigs snapped under shoes as they made their way closer to you and you could have cried at the thought of fighting another walker, tiredness flooding your system but you still gripped your knife tighter, not prepared to go down without somewhat of a fight.

Just as you stepped forward with your arm raised to bring the knife down into the skull of another walker you felt your wrist get grabbed in a soft grip before it was pulled down and the knife was taken out of your hand.

“Ya alright, s’just me,” your eyes widened as you let out a huff of laughter as relief ran through you at Daryl’s soft voice, letting your head lean forward to rest against his chest with a slight wince.

Daryl frowned down at you, somehow more concerned now that he had found you than he had been whilst searching the woods. He let go of your wrist and wrapped his arm around your waist, the other coming up to rest against the back of your neck as he held you close, letting you hold onto him tightly as you assured yourself that he was there.

He pulled away soon after though, not going far just far enough so that he could see your face. One hand stayed around your waist as the other came up to gently hold your chin as he tilted your head to the side so he could get a better look at the cut on your head, grimacing when you winced as his thumb moved to brush gently below it.

“Y’alright,” He told you again, forcing his grimace into a smile. “We’ll get ya patched up back at the prison, yeah?” He said, watching as your eyes squinted against the tiredness you felt before you nodded.

“C’mon, let’s get ya home.” He said keeping his voice soft as he tucked your knife away before taking one of your hands in his, ready to lead you back to the bike before a wince from you stopped him. “What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes darting across your body, trying to identify what had caused the wince.

“I’m fine, I just hurt my hands when I fell.” You told him, watching as he gently took a hold of your wrists and turned them so your palms were upwards. He winced down at the various cuts and let his thumb brush against your wrist.

“Let’s get ya home.” He repeated, moving so that his arm was around your shoulder and you didn’t stop yourself from leaning into him. Daryl looked down at you and couldn’t stop the soft smile that spread across his lips as he watched you turn your head into his chest, trusting him to guide you back to the bike.

And he did without failure, his grip secure on you and it wasn’t long before he took a helmet he had found months ago for you from the bike and lifted it as carefully as he could over your head.

“Does that hurt?” He asked, sure that he had positioned it so it wasn’t brushing against your cut but wanting to make sure you weren’t in pain.

“No,” You said, smiling tiredly up at him.

Daryl smiled back at you before he was helping you onto the bike and climbing on himself. The roar of the engine was the only sound to be heard for the next few miles, sometimes Daryl’s voice, slightly raised to be heard above the bike, cut through making sure you were still awake, assuring you that you were almost home.

It took just over an hour and a half before the gates to the prison were being opened for the two of you, the sky had long since gone dark and Daryl had felt your grip loosening repeatedly as your eyes drifted closed.

The sound of the bike’s engine being shut off had you blinking your eyes open, you hadn’t fallen asleep but your eyes had eventually become too tired to keep open. You felt Daryl move from in front of you before he pulled you from the bike and gently pulled the helmet off your head and looked at the cut.

It didn’t look too bad, not bad enough to require stitches but he’d still feel better getting Hershel to clean it before he finally took you to bed.

He grabbed the bag of supplies and wrapped his arm around you again, guiding you through the prison and into cell block C with the intention of sitting you down in front of Hershel but before he could Rick looked up and was over to the pair of you in a few strides.

You smiled as he copied Daryl’s actions from earlier, taking your chin in his fingers before he tilted your head up to examine the cut on your forehead before wincing.

“What happened?” He asked in concern.

“I’m fine.” You told him, smile still in place as you swiped his hand away.

“You two have been gone for hours?” Rick questioned, following the two of you over to the table where Hershel sat, supplies already being brought over to him as you were placed onto the chair next to him, Daryl taking a seat next to you.

“Ran into a herd of walkers and got separated, took me a while t’find her.” Daryl explained, rubbing a hand up and down your back as you winced from Hershel’s touch.

“You’re both ok?” Rick asked looking from you to Daryl, checking him for injuries.

“We’re fine, she just needs patchin’ up and some sleep.” Daryl assured, looking away from you to glance up at Rick, showing that his words were true, short of the cut on your head and a few scratches on your hands you were both fine.

“You make sure you get some rest too.” Rick said, patting Daryl’s shoulder before he did the same to you.

“Don’t worry,” You said, exhaustion clear in your voice, “I’ll make sure he sleeps.”

Daryl and Rick smiled over at you before Rick turned to head back to Carl and it wasn’t long before Hershel had given you the all clear, nothing serious, just a bump and some dizziness for the next few days.

You took Daryl’s hand gently in yours, mindful of the cuts that stung if you brushed them, and led him up the stairs and into your cell. It was the first cell on the landing and you’d picked it purely because on the first night at the prison Daryl had refused to sleep in a cell, refused to be caged up, so you took the cell as close to him as you could get.

It hadn’t taken you long to convince him into your cell, a tight squeeze on the single bed but the two of you made it work, mostly with you laying your body on him, on nights were he needed to be held he’d often find himself laying between your legs, head on your chest and your fingers in his hair.

Tonight, however, it was you who needed him and you lay with your back against the wall, Daryl’s arm wrapped tightly around you as he drew you closer, laying you so half of your body rested atop of his.

Your eyes felt heavy with exhaustion, felt even heavier than they had before now that you were in a bed, in Daryl’s arms. You felt him lean down until his lips touched your head, he felt you smile into his chest and enough of a silence stretched that you thought he’d gone to sleep when his voice broke it.

“You knew I’d find ya, right?” The words were barely there, whispered so softly that they were nearly lost in the silence, if you hadn’t been laying on top of him there was a chance you would have missed those words.

But you didn’t, you heard them as loudly and as clearly as if he’d shouted them. A smile stretched across your face without you meaning for it to as you registered his question and sure you’d been scared, alone in those woods, scared that you couldn’t handle your own against the walkers or whatever else lurked in the trees but never for a second had it crossed your mind that Daryl wouldn’t come looking for you.

“I never doubted it.” You told him honestly, your words just as soft as his and you heard the smile in his voice at his next words.

“Good, cause I’ll always look for ya.” He promised and you knew his words were truthful, knew that Daryl would hold himself to that promise for the rest of his life.

And that gave you hope, hope that even if the world didn’t get better, even if things stayed like this, it gave you hope that you could continue living and not just living but it gave you hope for a future.

A future with you and Daryl, the two of you getting to live your lives together no matter how and no matter what. You knew that whatever was to come that you’d be fine because you had something nobody else had.

You had Daryl Dixon.

“I’ll try not to lose you again.” You told him and felt the chuckle rumble through his chest as he kissed your head again.

“Never have to worry about that.” He assured you and you couldn’t help but smile wider, “Go t’sleep, Y/N/N.” He whispered and you nodded against him, shuffling in his arms so you were looking up at him and leaned up to press your lips together in a soft kiss, not lasting for more than a few seconds but somehow managing to leave you both breathless.

__________

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Right Here

Right Here

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Febuwhump Prompt - Friendly Fire

Prompt - ‘And when the walls come crashing down you'll realise home was never the walls around you, home was the people within those walls. Home was him."

You weren’t fully aware of just how you had gotten to where you were, sat next to a small fire, snake in your hand and Daryl sat as close to you as he could get, your sides pressed together as he continued to shoot you worried glances every few moments. You remembered the prison, remembered watching as The Governor used Michonne’s weapon to kill Hershel, watched as he had destroyed your home and for what?

You remembered losing track of everybody in the chaos and remembered not even seeing Daryl but feeling him grab your hand as he ran past you in a blur, not giving you a chance to realise what was happening but once you saw it was Daryl you had just let yourself be pulled along, trusting that he’d get you somewhere safe.

And of course he had, pulling you along for so long that your sides ached and the sounds from the prison faded into the distance, your home just gone like it was nothing, your family had lost each other and for what?

You didn’t say anything as you stared into the flames, thoughts running faster than you could keep up with. Your eyes scrunched tightly together in an attempt to slow them down but it didn’t work and with a soft groan you let your head fall to the side, resting against Daryl’s shoulder and found it helped.

Of course it helped because even though dead people were roaming the earth, even though you’d lost more people than you could count, even though you’d lost a place you thought you could call home, you’d lost your friends, friends who had become family, even despite all that you know it could get worse. If Daryl hadn’t found you, if he hadn’t pulled you along with him out of that prison, you would have felt like the world had ended again but ten times worse than now.

Daryl was your rock. He had been the one to find you wandering around alone in the city that had been taken over by the dead, a city that had been bombed by its own government. You’d been starving when he found you, dehydrated, covered in a mix of walker blood and your own. You smiled as you remembered him thrusting a crossbow in your face, barking out questions about whether you’d been bitten or not, whether you had a group. Eventually, he lowered the weapon causing you to breathe a sigh of relief and began walking away, gesturing for you to follow him with a nod.

In the first few months Daryl definitely regretted that decision, not used to somebody clinging to him like you had. You remembered his attitude towards you to begin with, remembered Shane’s gentle suggestions that you should join them instead of sitting off Daryl, should back away from the Dixon brothers but you ignored the warnings and it took a lot of time and patience before Daryl finally warmed up to you.

Once he had though you two had become inseparable, occasionally Daryl did still snap at you, sometimes needing time alone and not knowing how to tell you, he’d never had somebody like you in his life, somebody so good, so optimistic, who wanted to be around him. You always just smiled at the outburst though, a soft smile and a squeeze of the hand was all you gave him before you wandered off, giving him the time he needed until he came to find you, taking a seat with you and giving you a smile of his own.

“You doing ok?” He asked you, voice low to match the atmosphere around you. You stayed silent for a few moments, not quite sure how to answer the question before you took a steadying breath before asking a question of your own.

“You think we’ll find any of them?” Your voice just as soft as his.

Daryl’s silence was enough of an answer and you sniffed as you blinked away the sudden wetness in your eyes, taking another deep breath.

“I’m glad we’re together.” You told him and he couldn’t help but smile at that because he was thinking the same thing, he didn’t know what he would have done if he hadn’t found you.

Instead of saying anything though Daryl just hummed but you smiled into his shoulder, well versed in all things Daryl Dixon to know that it meant he was glad you were both together too.

“Where do we go now?” You asked him and he stayed silent for a long while before speaking.

“We go wherever we want.”

The next day the two of you set off again, Daryl suggesting you try to find shelter or failing that at least gather some supplies. By some miracle the two of you came across an old but elegant looking house, standing tall and seemingly safe.

“Stay behind me.” Daryl told you, pushing you behind him before he raised the crossbow and pushed the door open, banging against it as he did and waited for any sign of walkers. Daryl turned to you and you raised an eyebrow at him, he waited a few seconds longer before walking in, gesturing for you to follow closely behind.

It took a while to search the whole house both due to the size of it and because you kept getting distracted by all the trinkets and luxuries that the obviously rich owner possessed. Daryl had rolled his eyes as he watched you hold a necklace up, watching as the sunlight made the diamonds shine brightly but there was a softness to him as he fought back a smile.

“Wow.” You grinned when Daryl opened the cupboards, junk food lined up like they were prepared for the end of the world long before anyone else knew it was happening. “I’ve missed chips.”

“Help ya self.” He said as he searched through the cupboards putting some food out on the table and you smiled at his back before doing as he said, grabbing a variety of different snacks and placing yourself at the table and digging in.

It was weird how normal this felt, weird how easy it was to forget about the outside world as you and Daryl sat together, having long since made your way into the living room, the two of you on the sofa with Daryl’s arm resting against the length of it, so close to you that he could feel your hair against his forearm.

The two of you were sharing a bottle of something expensive between you, you laughing as Daryl spoke, missing how his eyes lit up at the sight of you so happy and carefree, trusting him completely.

Here, locked away in this house, only you and Daryl existed, no walkers, no Governor’s, no beheadings or fights…just you and Daryl. It felt like before the world had gone to hell. You could imagine it was like before except you knew that this would never be a possibility, knew that before this you and Daryl would never have crossed paths.

The thought seemed almost impossible now, it was hard to recall a time when Daryl Dixon wasn’t by your side and you couldn’t help but selfishly be a bit glad that the world had ended if it meant knowing Daryl.

You shifted closer to him as you wondered just how you’d gone so long without knowing him, how you’d lived your life everyday oblivious to the fact that Daryl even existed and hated that you knew if you’d met back then you probably wouldn’t have let yourself get to know him, knew Daryl wouldn’t let himself get to know you.

It was a strange feeling, being glad about the apocalypse.

“You ok?” He asked you, noticing your expression turn from happy to wistful.

“I’m really glad I met you, Daryl Dixon.” You told him, looking up and not realising just how close you’d gotten to him.

Daryl looked down at you, hesitating before lifting his hand to your head, letting his fingers brush a strand of hair from your face before they trailed down your temple to rest against your cheek. He could feel his heart threatening to beat out of his chest as he felt you smile under his hand.

“Glad I met you too.” He confessed, tone gruffer than he intended but it made you smile more, you didn’t know too much about Daryl’s romantic past but you knew there wasn’t much to talk about. It was good that he was nervous, it made you feel better knowing that it wasn’t just you.

“Daryl,” You whispered, so many thoughts in your head that you weren’t quite sure how to articulate them.

You didn’t have to though, you never had to really, because just as you were well versed in all things Daryl Dixon, he was just as good when it came to you, knowing what you wanted to say even if you didn’t.

“Me too,” He said just as quietly as you had been and you let your hand rest on his jaw, thumb brushing against his cheek before you moved closer, slowly giving him time to pull away if he wanted to.

He didn’t though, instead he met you halfway, letting your lips brush against each other’s softly and slowly, the movements slightly awkward but neither of you noticed or cared, too absorbed in each other, in how right it felt to finally kiss each other after months of back and forth flirting, months of testing the water before backing off, neither of you willing to risk the bond you had with one another.

Now it seemed foolish to wait so long, especially when you could lose each other any day, the events from the prison showed you that and maybe that’s why now was the time for it.

The kiss was interrupted when you heard a clatter from outside. Daryl pulled away with a soft groan, letting his forehead rest against yours as you both listened but the sound continued.

“Maybe it’s just somebody who lives here?” You whispered, watching as Daryl squinted and sighed, leaning forward to place a quick, slightly unsure, kiss against your lips before standing and picking his crossbow up, turning towards you with a stern look.

“Don’t move, stay here.” He warned and you nodded, pulling your knife from your boot, nervously playing with it as you listened to the sound of Daryl’s footsteps, praying that it was just nothing but knowing that you couldn’t be that lucky.

“Y/N, get outta here!” Daryl shouted, causing your stomach to drop.

You immediately shot up and ran towards the front door, watching as Daryl struggled to hold it shut as walkers piled up, pushing against it and trying to force their way in. Daryl watched you take a step towards him and immediately shook his head.

“Go!” He yelled at you but you shook your head back.

“I’m not leaving you here!” You protested.

“M’right behind ya, just get outta the house, meet me out by the road, yeah?” He said, nodding at you and watched as you nodded back before shooting him a desperate, pleading look.

“Stay safe.” You said and he smiled.

“Right behind ya.” He told you again, softer this time and felt relief flood through him as he watched you run.

You ran through the house, quickly making your way out of the back door that was thankfully free from walkers and continued to run, making your way over to the road as Daryl had told you too.

You made the mistake of glancing over your shoulder, looking to see if Daryl was coming when suddenly you felt the world tip before you cried out in pain as your head connected with the pavement, already feeling blood trickle down from the cut.

You blinked hard before you shot up upon hearing the snarls of a walker, having to pause for a second as the pain in your head blinded you, the feel of a hand on your leg causing you to scramble back as best you could but the walker was not giving up its hold on you.

You glanced around, looking for your knife and groaned when you saw it had ended up flung ahead of you, too far for you to reach. The walker continued to make its way closer to you and you tried to fight it off but you couldn’t, trying to keep moving back as best you could with its grip on you.

Just before you could call Daryl you were flinching as walker blood and brains splattered all over you as a bat was brought down on its head before you let out a huff of relief. The relief was cut short as you saw a man in a black mask gesture for two other men behind you to grab you.

“Daryl!” You yelled desperately as the men easily pulled you up.

Daryl had finally managed to fight his way out of the house and moved even faster as he heard your panicked cries calling for him. He ran out of the back door, not even hesitating with pulling the trigger on the crossbow, immediately taking one of the men down before he turned his attention to the other two.

They were both blocked by you but Daryl knew he could make one of the shots and keep you safe, he watched as one of them kept you in front of him, the two of you facing Daryl as he led you backwards towards the car, you silently pleading with Daryl not to let them take you.

The man not holding you tried to move quickly over to the driver's seat but he wasn’t quick enough for Daryl who released the arrow the moment he moved away from you. Then there was the one holding you, he was now looking towards his friend but quickly snapped his gaze back to Daryl.

Daryl glared as he tried to get a clear shot but he couldn’t, not without hurting you and he couldn’t do it. He waited, anxiety flooding through him as he saw tears make their way down your face before he finally, finally, had the shot.

He released the trigger again, watching as the arrow flew towards the man holding you and watched as he turned, positioning you so you took the arrow to your thigh, a cry of pain leaving you as the man chuckled and opened the car door, pulling a gun out as Daryl went to step forward, instantly stopping him in his tracks.

Daryl felt the urge to cry himself but took a deep breath, not focusing on the fact that you had a damn arrow sticking out of you that he had put there, trying not to focus on your cries or the fear displayed clearly across your face.

Instead he focused on the man holding you, watched every move he made, watched as he got too cocky and turned away from Daryl. Daryl took the opportunity to move two steps to the left, barely noticeable but giving him full advantage.

He didn’t wait for the man to turn around, didn’t hesitate as he pulled the trigger a final time and watched with satisfaction as the man hit the floor before he even knew what was happening.

Daryl watched as you wobbled, the man no longer holding you up had you seconds away from joining him on the floor but before you knew it Daryl’s own familiar, comfortable, arms were wrapping around you and you buried your head in his chest, sobbing against it as he held you tight.

“You’re alright, I got you, not gonna let anyone take you.” Daryl continued to whisper reassurances into your hair until you calmed down.

Once your tears had subsided Daryl pulled back and cupped your cheek in his hand, his fingers brushing away some of the blood from the cut. You watched him frown before shaking his head.

“Damn lucky we packed the medical supplies.” He muttered as he moved around you to help you sit down on the backseat, apologising as you winced against the arrow in your thigh.

“I’m so sorry,” He said quietly, guilty.

“Don’t be, please,” You said, sniffing back more tears, “Please don’t be sorry, you saved me.”

“I shot you!” He exclaimed, angry at himself for taking the shot, for letting you go off alone, for letting you get hurt on his watch.

“Hey,” You called softly, getting his attention. You lifted your hand and brushed some hair away from his face, smiling as he leaned into your touch. “You saved me.”

You watched him look up into your eyes, searching for any hint of a lie, of resentment, of fear, of hatred, all things he would deserve but he saw nothing but trust and something else, something soft that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Ok.” He said simply, nodding before rooting through the bag, pulling alcohol, cloths, a needle and thread out, shooting you an apologetic look. “This is gonna hurt like a bitch.”

That was, quite possibly, the understatement of the century because as soon as Daryl pulled the arrow out of your thigh…there were no words to describe the pain, the burning sensation that seemed to spread through your entire body and you had to bite down so hard on your lip to stop from screaming that you ended up splitting it.

Daryl worked quickly but all his touches were gentle, trying to provide comfort where he could. The entire time he worked he spoke soft words of encouragement, watching as they seemed to help, giving you something to focus on.

“Ya doin’ great, nearly there, attagirl.” He continued to murmur and you kept taking deep breaths trying desperately to only listen to his words.

“All done.” He told you and you let out a loud sigh, a mix of relief, tiredness, pain and gratitude all rolled into one. Daryl kneeled up so he was face to face with you and let his hand brush your hair off your sweat stained forehead. “You did good.” He told you with a smile and you couldn’t help but let out a huff of laughter as you leaned down and captured his lips in yours, feeling him kiss back.

The kiss stayed soft and slow, you were exhausted and Daryl’s nerves were too high but you both needed this, needed a minute to see that you were both ok, you were both alive and together.

“You saved me.” You whispered against his lips as the two of you pulled away and Daryl looked up at you with wide, wet eyes. You let your fingers go up to his hair, running them through and pulling gently at the knots. “Thank you.”

“Don’t ever have to thank me for that, we look out for each other, yeah?” Daryl asked and you nodded, smiling down at him brightly despite the tiredness pulling at your eyes and the pain in your thigh. “Get some sleep,” He told you, gesturing for you to lay across the back seat, “I’ll get us somewhere safe.”

“I’m good,” You told him both of you knowing it was a lie and Daryl smiled at you, rolling his eyes fondly as he gestured to the back seat again.

“Get some sleep, I’m gonna be right here.” He promised and you nodded, leaning down to kiss him once more before you finally listened to him and made yourself as comfortable as possible across the back seats of the car, smiling as you felt a familiar leather vest being placed over your chest.

Somehow, despite everything, you still felt safer than ever as you held the leather vest close, pulling it up and breathing in the scent that reminded you of home before you let your eyes fall shut, the sound of the engine starting as you began to fall asleep.

“I’m right here,” You heard Daryl promise again, softly as if he was speaking more to himself than you but you still let yourself smile, cuddling further into the vest before finally drifting off, trusting Daryl entirely.

__________

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Better Together

Better Together

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Prompt - @redneckstrash - 4 - Falling asleep on the couch, waking up to not only a blanket around them but their partner squeezed on with them & 7 - “Do you hate me?”

The rain hammering down outside matched the atmosphere inside the house perfectly as you stood on one side of the room, annoyance clear across your face as you glared at Daryl who was leaning against the door frame, watching you from behind his hair.

“I told ya I ain’t arguing with ya,” Daryl told you, his voice steady as you rolled your eyes and shook your head at him. “It’s too dangerous, I ain’t letting you go out there.”

“But it’s fine for you to go?” You snapped at him, the two of you running around in circles, the same conversation that had started over an hour ago when Daryl told you he was going out to see if they could find anything out about the latest threat to Alexandria and you had to stay here. “I can take care of myself, Daryl!”

“I ain’t saying you can’t!” Daryl shot back, anger towards the new group coursing through his veins for causing the two of you to argue, before this Daryl couldn’t remember the last time the two of you had been against each other. 

“So then I can go?” You asked, raising an eyebrow in his direction and scoffing as he shook his head.  “Course I can’t because in your head I’m just some idiot who can’t handle herself right, not like I’ve survived this long and taken out more walkers than either of us can count.” 

“C’mon Y/N, that ain’t fair and you know it,” He told you gruffly, shaking his head again, “Course ya can handle yourself, nobody’s saying you can’t but there’s other people headin’ out, you don’t need to be out there.”

“Why not? I can help, Daryl!” You were never one to sit back and let the fight pass you by, especially not when your people, your friends, were being hurt and killed. Watching as a group Aaron had gone out with return bruised, bloody and broken had you cleaning your weapons, ready for what was to come and now Daryl was the one stopping you from helping.

“I ain’t risking you!” Daryl snapped, pushing away from the door frame and taking a step towards you. He watched as your nose flared and your eyebrows knitted together as you took in his words before you let out a shaky, disbelieving laugh.

“But it’s ok to risk yourself?” You asked him, all the anger seemingly draining from your voice. “You know I can handle myself.”

“Against walkers.” Daryl said, lowering his voice and desperately wanting to take another step closer to you but he knew you wouldn’t let him get close right now.

“So you don’t think I can handle myself?” He watched as you looked away from him, turning to face the window and looking out towards the gate where the car was being loaded.

“I already said I know ya can but we don’t even know what we’re dealing with, we know nothin’ about these people. I don’t care if ya hate me for it, Y/N/N, but I ain’t risking you, no way.” Daryl told you and watched as you shook your head again but didn’t have a chance to answer as a knock sounded from the front door.

“Daryl? You ready to head out?” You heard Rick call from outside and glanced over your shoulder, watching as Daryl looked from the door and back to you with a pleading expression across his face, one that would usually have your glare softening into a smile but this time you just gestured to the door with a nod of your head.

“You should go.” Daryl barely found himself suppressing a flinch at the coldness of your tone but he stood by his decision, he’d rather have you alive and hate him than dead and not able to love him.

Daryl moved over to you, hating the way your whole body tensed but still he leaned in close and pressed a kiss to your forehead before he pulled away and headed towards the front door, glancing back over at you, a soft sigh leaving his lips as he grabbed the door knob.

“Love you.” He said quietly into the tense silence and didn’t give you a chance to reply as he slipped out of the door and past Rick who watched him go with a concerned look before following after him. 

Days seem to pass by in a blur and you found yourself out of the house more than you were in it, unable to sit around without letting the last conversation you had with Daryl invade your mind, constantly playing like it was stuck on a loop. You hated that he hadn’t let you go but now you hated that he’d left and you hadn’t told him you loved him, hated that something could happen to him and the last thing he’d remember about you would be an argument. 

You shook your head as you sat on the steps to Rick’s house, blinking hard against the sudden wetness in your eyes as you held Judith closer to you, letting your head rest against hers. Two days wasn’t long but it felt like an eternity right now and it took every ounce of self control you had to not leave the walls and search for Daryl.

“You ok?” You heard Carol ask as she came closer to the house but you couldn’t look up, still trying to fight back the tears that threatened to spill. “He’ll be back before you know it.” She told you, taking a seat next to you and letting Judith grab her finger.

“I know,” You sniffed, finally pulling away from Judith and looking up at Carol who smiled sympathetically at you. “He thinks I hate him.” You said quietly, voice barely above a whisper and frowning as she laughed.

“No he doesn’t.” She said making it sound like even the idea of Daryl thinking you hated him was ridiculous. “You two have survived too much together for him to ever think that.” 

“I didn’t tell him I loved him.” You said miserably and Carol rolled her eyes but her tone was soft as she spoke, knowing this was one of the first real times in yours and Daryl’s relationship that the two of you had been on bad terms.

“He knows.” She said easily, “He knows you love him and you know he loves you, more than anything in this world. That’s why you’re here and not out there, he knows you’re safer in here than you are outside of these walls-”

“I’m safest wherever he is.” You cut her off, not doubting your words even a little bit causing Carol to smile at you.

“Yeah, you’re probably right but he won’t look at it that way, his job is keeping threats as far away from you as he can, that’s his priority.” Carol told you and you nodded along as he spoke, knowing she was right but still not happy.

“Why can he go out there and risk his life but I can’t?” You asked her, looking at her with wide, watery eyes.

“Because if you die out there he wouldn’t come back from it,” She told you honestly, watching how your eyebrows knitted together as you took her words in before you looked away from her. “If you’re safe here, that’s all that matters to him.”

“And if he dies out there?” You managed to choke out, a single tear managing to slip down your face at the thought.

“Then you’re safe here.” Carol answered and you let out a choked sob as you shook your head.

“He can’t live without me but if he dies I’m supposed to, what, carry on without him?” You asked angrily. “I’m not doing this without him, Carol.”

“I’m not saying he’s right but I do know he’s doing what he thinks is best for you, that’s all he’s ever done. He doesn’t care what happens to him but if anything ever happened to you..” Carol said, trailing off and looking away as she thought of a world without you, knowing exactly how Daryl would react.

“That’s why I should be with him, he watches out for me, I watch out for him.” You told her, eyes pleading with her causing her to laugh softly.

“It’s not me you have to convince, it’s him and trust me that’s a fight you don’t stand a chance in. That man would do anything you asked him but he won’t do anything that puts you in harm's way.” She told you and you knew she was right, loathe as you were to admit it.

“I just want him to come home.” You said softly, resting your cheek on Judith’s head as she leaned against your chest. “I hate fighting with him.”

“He’ll be home before you know it.” Carol promised, her hand resting on your knee and giving it a gentle squeeze.

You sighed as you stepped into the silent house in the early hours of the morning after a long shift on the watchtower, not quite ready to spend another night alone in bed. With another sigh you pulled your shoes off, not bothering to change out of your clothes as you walked into the living room and lay down on the sofa, drifting off to sleep moments after your head hit the pillow.

Daryl was glad to see the walls of Alexandria, exhausted and ready to collapse into bed with you after two days of searching for any signs of the newest threat. They’d found a small group of members who had all been killed when it became clear that they would not be giving up their plans or information about their group. 

With a quick goodbye to the rest of his group Daryl walked up to the house and opened the door as soundlessly as he could, not wanting to wake you at such a late hour. Standing in the hallway he slipped his boots off before walking further into the house, intending to head upstairs and into bed with you before a noise from the living room stopped him. 

Pulling a knife out, Daryl gripped it and made his way over to the doorway, eyes darting around, quickly adjusting to the darkness before a smile made its way onto his face and he pocketed the weapon. 

He didn’t know just how long he stood in the doorway for, smiling dumbly over at you as you slept but eventually he made his way upstairs, quickly changing into something less bloody and tugged a blanket from your bedroom over his shoulder before he made his way back downstairs.

The sofa definitely wasn’t big enough for the two of you but somehow Daryl managed to shift you enough so he could lay down before bringing you close to him, laying you on his chest and wrapping the blanket around the pair of you before his arms wrapped around you. He couldn’t stop the soft smile that spread across his face as you mumbled something he couldn’t make out and gripped his shirt in your fist.

With a lingering kiss to the top of your head Daryl let his eyes fall shut and drifted off to sleep, glad to finally have you back in his arms. 

You woke up as light force its way past you closed eyelids causing you to groan slightly as you cuddled further into the warm chest underneath you, only to tense a moment later when you registered that there shouldn’t be a warm chest underneath you unless-

Your eyes opened and a tired smile spread across your face as you tilted your head to look up at Daryl who was still asleep with his arms wrapped around you, probably for the best considering how close you were to the edge of the sofa.

Daryl scrunched his eyes together as he woke up, frowning as he felt something against his chest. Upon opening his eyes a smile appeared on his face as he watched you trace shapeless patterns into his chest. He continues to watch you for a few minutes before he shifts and places a kiss on your head.

“Mornin’,” He greets, voice thick with sleep and you tilted your head to face him, smiling softly up at him

“Morning, you okay?” You ask him, smoothing your palm against his chest and looking over his face again as he nods.

“All good, Y/N/N.” He assures you, his thumb brushing up and down against your hip.

There was a silence that stretched between the two of you, an uncomfortable silence that neither of you had experienced with each other since the early days when you’d just met and weren’t too sure of each other yet. Daryl hated that one fight seemed to tip you both off balance so much, you hated it too.

“Do you hate me?” Daryl finally forced himself to ask, the conversation from before he had left not once leaving his mind the entire time he was gone. He watched as you rolled your eyes at the question before you shifted so you could see him better.

“I don’t like the fact you won’t let me come with you,” You told him honestly, for so long it had never been an issue, the two of you outside together but now you had stable walls, you had safety and you knew Daryl’s top priority was your safety. “We’re better together. You know I can handle myself and you can trust me to watch your back.” 

“S’not that,” Daryl replied, voice quiet as he spoke, “I trust ya to have my back and I know ya can fight, ain’t nobody doubting that. I just-” Here he trailed off as he shook his head, taking a moment to compose himself before speaking again, “I can’t lose you, not you, Y/N, anything happened to you…”

“You can’t protect me forever.” You told him softly, smiling as he scoffed at you with an eye roll.

“Yeah, watch me.” He told you, causing you to let out a soft laugh.

“Surely I’m safer with you then, I mean what if you’re gone and something happens here? I like it here, Daryl, but I don’t want to be here all the time. I’m meant to be out there, I’m meant to be with you.” You watched as Daryl closed his eyes and knew your words were having the desired impact.

“Hate it when you’re right.” He grumbled causing you to grin up at him and he opened his eyes before letting his forehead thump gently against yours.

“Does that mean I get to come next time?” You asked, watching as he rolled his eyes.

“Damn pain in my ass, you know that?” Daryl told you and you couldn’t help but laugh as you nodded, causing him to smile and lean over to press his lips to yours in a soft kiss that lasted only a moment or two, the two of you pulling away with matching smiles and eyes that held so much warmth.

“But you love me.” You stated watching as the man’s smile grew and he leaned down again for another quick kiss.

“Damn right I do.” He confirmed as he pulled away briefly before connecting your lips together again, deepening the kiss as he pulled you as close as possible.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were pulling away, foreheads resting against each other as you gasped for air, one of Daryl’s hands coming up to brush against your cheeks and you turned your face so that you could press a soft kiss to his palm.

“I love you too, Daryl.” You whispered against his hand, swearing that no matter how mad you were in a moment, you would always say those words to him. 

__________

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Out Of The Woods

Out Of The Woods

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Prompt - ‘When the sun came up, you were looking at me.’

Requested - Yes - @cinnamonmurda

image

If you had been asked years ago to describe your relationship with Daryl you would have said it was anything but simple. At the beginning, all those years back in the earlier days before Rick had even joined back in Atlanta, Daryl hadn’t liked you, of course Daryl hadn’t liked anybody back then but you he especially had a special dislike for. There was something about you that made him even angrier, even more hot headed and defensive than he had been around the others, years later he knew that his old self hated you because he saw you as a liability. If there was ever a person not made for this new world, it was you and Daryl knew it, you were too damn kind, too naive to survive long.

You hadn’t thought too much of Daryl either, the man far too quick to start a fight, too ignorant, too harsh. You hadn’t wanted to be around him back then, both of you going out of your way to put distance between you and yet you were always the first to call each other out. Whenever Daryl voiced his intolerant views, whenever you made a move that he deemed unsafe, whatever it was you and Daryl were always the first to point out the others flaws.

Things didn’t change much until the prison, well for you they changed earlier than that. For so long you had thought Daryl wasn’t capable of caring for anybody else but watching how determined he had been to look for Sophia, watching him go night after night without sleeping, sneaking away to look some more after doing the same all day, something about it changed something for you.

During your stay at the prison though Daryl had watched as you offered to go on a run with Rick and before Daryl could shoot that idea down Rick had agreed to let you go only for you to show back up not long after dark with a bleeding head and holding your aching side.

Something changed for Daryl there, he had no idea what it was but he had waited a few days, tried to talk himself out of it but eventually gave in. He waited until you were alone to approach you, feeling awkward as he did, despite being around each other for so long Daryl could safely say in that time you hadn’t had one civil conversation.

So when he came to you with an offer to teach you how to shoot and defend yourself it made sense for you to jump to defensiveness, accusing him of messing with you because of the incident a few days ago that had resulted in Hershel giving you a line of stitches on your forehead.

It had taken some time for Daryl to finally manage to convince you that he was serious but eventually you gave in, knowing that if you wanted to survive then Daryl was right you needed to learn to protect yourself, even if it meant spending time with the man.

Of course learning to protect yourself didn’t come in too handy, how could it when at even the slightest sign of danger Daryl stepped in. At first it started off with him taking a shot at a walker when you froze, only moving again when an arrow shot passed your head and Daryl knocked into your shoulder to retrieve it. From there though it grew, as you spent more time with each other Daryl started putting himself between you and whatever danger was there before you could even raise your gun, whether it be him grabbing your arm and shoving you behind him or taking out the target from the other side of the fight.

By the time you arrived at Alexandria the two of you were best friends, rather than jumping to point each other's flaws out now you were the first one to defend the other, always ready to take a swing or go head to head with anyone who had something bad to say about the other. It was easy to ignore the change in your relationship, glaring at anyone who dared mention the shift from worst enemies to the best of friends.

It wasn’t until Alexandria you were forced to admit something had changed, when everything was settled and your group was moving in and you and Daryl were both offered separate houses. Immediately your gaze fell to him upon hearing the new living arrangements only to find he was already looking your way with a glare, though the glare wasn’t meant for you.

For the longest time it had been you and Daryl, you’d slept practically within arm’s reach of each other since sorting yourselves out and forming a friendship and now you were meant to sleep in a whole different house? You had hated the idea, despite how things had started between you, you felt safe with Daryl, when he was around you knew you were going to be ok. To suddenly not have him next to you left you feeling unsettled.

Daryl hated the thought of you not being near him. A while back he would have done anything to be away from you and now the idea of it made his skin crawl, he already didn’t like this place all that much but to take you from him, to move him to where he couldn’t protect you, no he hated that.

Daryl was the one to voice his displeasure to your shock, you had known he wouldn’t have liked it but you hadn’t expected him to actually say anything, especially not in front of the whole group but he had and it was worth it when you placed your bag down on the bedroom floor.

Both houses you had been offered only consisted of one bedroom but neither you nor Daryl had complained about it. Daryl would never have admitted it out loud but he was secretly glad for it, not ready for you to be away from him. It wasn’t even just the fact he wanted to protect you but he knew you both felt safer together, knew you both slept better knowing the other was right there.

And so it went on like that, the two of you living together and despite having kept close quarters for some time now this felt different, it was more intimate, more domestic. Once the door shut behind you it was easy to forget that the world had fallen apart, it was easy to just fall into a world that only existed for you and Daryl, one where the two of you left your baggage at the door and just let yourselves be.

Of course it wasn’t all perfect, how could it be? The world outside was still a mess and you were insistent on helping however you could. There was a run coming up, one that Eugene had mapped out and called a suicide mission. Once Daryl had found out you had volunteered he had stormed into the house full of demands that you stay behind whilst he went.

His argument hadn’t gone down well, you shooting back why he should be allowed to go and put himself in danger whilst you stayed behind, you yelling that you were perfectly capable of defending yourself and that you didn’t need him to treat you like a child.

It was rare you and Daryl argued, it had happened a lot in the early days but since the prison you could count the number of times you had on one hand. When you did fight though it was ruthless, both of you knew exactly what buttons to press, knew exactly what words would hurt most and neither of you held back.

This fight lasted a while before Daryl ended it by storming out of the house, the echoing slam of the door silencing you as you listened to the roar of his bike before you were left alone.

You couldn’t say what it was that had gotten both of you so riled up, recently things had been more tense, not between you and Daryl but between Alexandria and the outside world. It had put Daryl on edge and he’d been hovering around you more than usual, always quick to snap at anybody who even looked at you for too long.

The hovering had been starting to get to you a bit but now that Daryl had put space between you, you found you hated it.

You didn’t know how long you stood in the living room for, silently staring at the door as if you could make Daryl to walk through it but Daryl was long gone and you tried to push the bad feeling in the pit of your stomach away. With a sigh you turned and made your way up to your bedroom, sinking onto the bed.

Your eyes fell on to the nightstand, a small huff of laughter escaping you as you saw the polaroid that rested there, reaching over to gently pick it up, your thumb brushing against the photograph, remembering the day you had taken it.

It had been a quiet day, one where you both got to stay in bed later than usual, you held against Daryl’s chest with his fingers brushing against your skin, holding you close. Neither of you had told the other how you felt, both far too scared but content with what you had now, it didn’t need to be defined but some days you did wish it was out there, that you could run your finger through his hair and pull him in for a kiss.

Once you had finally managed to pull yourself out of bed for food you ended up laying on the couch together, music playing softly from the old record player that had been here when you moved in. Daryl’s arms wrapped around you as you traded secrets of lives that didn’t exist anymore and soft laughs whilst entwined together.

As you tilted your head to laugh your eyes fell on the polaroid camera Daryl had managed to find for you on a run a few months back, you hadn’t used it yet because there wasn’t much film left and you wanted to save it for something special.

You and Daryl had done this since moving to Alexandria, whenever you’d go on runs you’d both bring each other gifts back, some with the intent to just make the other laugh, some that made you smile and get slightly teary eyed, some that he accepted with a mumbled thanks but his smile showed how much it meant to him. At some point because of this the house you shared had become a home filled with pieces of you and Daryl littered throughout it.

“Where you goin’?” Daryl had asked as you wormed your way out of his arms and walked the few steps between the couch and the shelves to pick up the camera. “What you doin’ with that?”

You didn’t answer him as you got back on the couch, his arms immediately circling around you again and you smiled up at him widely, shaking the camera at him and laughing as he groaned.

“Please!” You begged before he had the chance to protest, turning further in his hold to pout up at him.

“Nah, save it for something.”” Daryl said, holding back a smile as you shook your head.

“Come on, Daryl, please. I wanna remember this.” You told him, causing him to scoff. “I wanna remember you.”

“You don’t need no dumb picture to remember me.” He grumbled, his face softening even as he rolled his eyes causing you to laugh. “I ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

“You know that’s not the point!” You pleaded with him, watching as he narrowed his eyes with no real heat behind the action and you could see the way his lips twitched as he fought back a smile. “C’mon just let me take my dumb picture.”

More pleading had followed but eventually the sound of a shutter going off filled the room and as you looked at the picture you couldn’t stop your gaze from falling onto Daryl’s smile, one that was reserved only for you in the privacy of your house.

You couldn’t say for sure how long you sat in bed, fingers brushing against the photograph in your hand but at some point you knew you had to go track Daryl down, knowing full well he’d be too scared to show his face back at the house for fear of you wanting rid of him, as if that could ever happen.

The snow had been falling steadily the past few days so you made sure to shrug a jacket on before heading out of the house and taking one of the cars, only stopping to pick a radio up before you put the tracking skills Daryl had taught you to use and headed out.

Daryl had no real destination in mind when he had sped away from Alexandria, cursing himself for picking a fight with you and hating that he had left without making things right. He couldn’t turn back though, he wanted to give you some space, afraid to face you again in case you told him to leave.

He hated that even after all these years he was still so unsure around you. He knew you were his best friend, he knew you loved him like that but he never knew if there was anything behind those lingering touches, the way you’d brush his hair out of his face or hug him tight when he’d been gone longer than planned.

He knew he loved you, more than anything in this world, you were the best thing in his life. It might have taken the world ending for you to meet but Daryl couldn’t say he was sorry for it, he knew in a life long gone you and him would never have crossed paths and even if by some miracle you had there was no chance somebody like you would have wanted anything to do with someone like him.

Sure to begin with things hadn’t been easy between you but at some point you had come to mean everything to him. He knew if he had to he’d turn the world upside down for you, kill without a second thought if you were ever in trouble. He loved you and he was too much of a damn coward to ever tell you.

Eventually he stopped the motorbike, climbing off it to take a moment and catch his breath. Thinking about his feelings for you always made him feel unsteady, he wished he were brave enough to just tell you but he could never tell if you felt the same.

At some point during Daryl’s musing the twigs around him snapped, footsteps coming closer to him but he was so deep in thought he didn’t hear them, not until he heard a gun click.

He whipped around and glared hard at the two men before him, both pointing a gun at him and he cursed himself again for being so stupid and not grabbing his crossbow before he had stormed out of the house.

“We don’t want no trouble now.” One of the men said, causing Daryl to scoff.

“Yeah, sure as hell don’t look like it when you’re pointing that damn gun at me.” He shot back, looking around for something to use as a weapon but coming up empty.

“We ain’t gonna use ‘em if you don’t give us a reason.” The other man sneered, walking slowly towards the bike. “We’re just gonna take this bike and be on our way.”

“Nope, you stay right where you are, mister.” The first man said when Daryl took a step towards them but Daryl was never in the mood for people like this on a good day and today was not a good day.

He swung his fist, feeling a sense of satisfaction as it connected with the man's nose and blood immediately sprayed from it but it didn’t last long as the other man swung for him and sent him staggering back. It only lasted for a few minutes but punches were traded until Daryl was bruised and bleeding, only falling to the floor when one of the men got a well aimed kick in.

He hissed in pain but still went to get back up, falling straight to the floor not a moment later, the sound of a gunshot ringing through the woods and Daryl clutched his side, feeling his shirt soak with blood immediately.

“Told you we wouldn’t use it less you gave us a reason.” The man said as he gestured for his friend to get on the bike and Daryl struggled to keep his eyes open as the sound of his bike faded.

By the time you found Daryl the snow was coming down hard and fast, you struggled to get the car through it but eventually you were jumping out of it, leaving the keys behind and the door wide open when you saw a patch of blood in the snow.

“Daryl?” You called out, not giving a second thought as to who or what could be lurking in the woods. “Daryl!”

A small groan of pain came from somewhere to your right and in an instance you were falling onto your knees in the snow, cradling Daryl’s bruised face in your hands before your eyes fell onto his blood soaked shirt.

You cursed softly as you patted his cheeks, pleading with him to open his eyes. He didn’t move for a second but his eyelids fluttered open for a moment before falling back shut.

“Alright, you’re gonna be alright, I’m gonna get you home.” You promised him, moving to stand up and drag Daryl to the car when you heard a door slam from behind you.

Your head shot around just in time to see a man quickly reversing out of the small clearing in the woods before you could even stand up, leaving you staring at the empty space the car had been wondering how on earth you were meant to get Daryl home.

As if it couldn’t get any better, it was then you heard the groans and snarls.

“Shit.” You cursed again, eyes darting in every direction as you wondered how on earth you had managed to miss the horde of walkers closing in from all around.

With all the energy you had you managed to get Daryl up off the ground, swinging his arm around you as you carried his weight and winced at the pained groan that slipped past his lips as his wound brushed against his shirt.

You had no idea where you were or where you were going but you knew you had to move, apologising as you practically dragged Daryl away from the hoard of walkers.

As you fought against the snow, cursing as you nearly tripped a few times, having to stop several more to hoist Daryl more securely around your shoulder, you fought to get the radio you’d left attached to your belt and desperately hoped somebody was listening.

“Is anybody there?” You asked, waiting for a response but there was only silence. “Come on, come one, somebody answer please.”

“Y/N, is that you?” Eugene finally answered back and you felt your knees almost give out in relief as you forced your feet to keep moving through the snow.

“Eugene, thank god! Listen I need help, I’ve got Daryl but we ran into some trouble and shit, shit, shit.” you cursed again as you tripped on something in the snow, nearly sending you and Daryl to the ground but just about managing to right yourself.

“Y/N, what happened? Are you alright?” Eugene asked as you turned around and your eyes widened as more of the herd broke off to move in your direction before you glanced down to see what had tripped you, taking a shaky breath and pulling Daryl along when you saw a walker on the ground reaching for you.

“Eugene, there’s too many of them, we’ve got no car, no bike and no weapons, you gotta send help.” You pleaded into the radio, voice breaking as you forced yourself to stare ahead, to not look back as more and more walkers followed after you.

“Do you know the whereabouts of your location?” Eugene asked and you frowned before telling him what route you had taken, trying desperately to remember everything.

“You have to hurry, Daryl, he’s hurt and I can’t do this on my own.” You pleaded with him, voice cracking as a few tears made their way past your eyes and down your cheeks.

“Rest assured Y/N, we will find you.” Eugene promised and then the radio turned silent again whilst you prayed you and Daryl could hold up long enough for help to come.

You carried on dragging your feet through the snow, freezing but breaking out into a sweat from having Daryl’s entire weight on your shoulders and almost cried in relief when you saw a small shack not too far in the distance.

With a final look behind you you forced yourself to move faster as you saw more and more walkers moving in your direction, practically panting by the time you had the door shut and Daryl set gently on the floor.

The shack was small, barely big enough to fit both you and Daryl in but you didn’t care, it was a safe place that the walkers would hopefully walk right past, leaving you and Daryl alone until help came.

You crouched down in front of Daryl, ripping your jacket off despite the cold and balling it up before lifting Daryl’s shirt up to see the gunshot wound. You winced at the blood leaking from it and pressed your jacket against it with as much pressure as you could causing Daryl to jolt awake with a pained hissed, his hand coming up to weakly try and push you away but you caught it and gave it a soft squeeze.

“You’re alright, it’s just me.” You murmured, watching as he forced his eyes open with a frown.

“Y/N?” Daryl slurred your name out and you forced a shaky smile onto your face. “Wha’da hell you doin’ out ’ere?”

“Rescuing you apparently.” You laughed, watching as Daryl frowned when the sound came out more like a sob.

“S’meant to be my job.” Daryl huffed, another pained groan escaping him causing your panic to worsen.

He was right, rescuing you had always been his job, even back in those early days when you hadn’t gotten along. You remembered when you had gone out on a run into the city, determined to prove yourself to Daryl as he scoffed at you. He had told you it was a suicide run for someone like you and yet when you failed to come back after storming off he was the one to track you down, he was the one to pull you out of the room surrounded by walkers.

Once you were friends Daryl made it his mission to protect you but sometimes you wandered off, sometimes you just managed to get yourself into situations that lead you to needing to be rescued. No matter how many times Daryl grumbled about it he was always the first one to notice you missing and the first one to bring you back.

“Thought I’d have a go at the rescuing this time.” You smiled and watched as he chuckled before his face scrunched up in pain. “You’re gonna be alright, the others are already on their way.”

You watched as Daryl’s eyes slipped shut again and let out a shaky breath, squeezing his hand again and feeling the smallest bit of relief as he squeezed back before he forced them back open to look at you.

“M’sorry,” he said after a few beats of silence passed between the two of you and you frowned, looking at him questioningly. “For before, for pickin’ a fight, was damn stupid.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” You assured him, knowing that the blame didn’t lie solely on him, knowing that you hadn’t needed to fight back but had anyway. “All that matters is that you’ll be alright, we’re gonna get outta here and you’re gonna get patched up then we can just lay on the couch until you get better.”

“Yeah,” Daryl chuckled a bit breathlessly, “yeah we can do that.”

You smiled to yourself, letting your thoughts fill with how many nights had passed with the two of you in the living room, too tired to pull yourselves off the couch as your bones ached and you were comfortable resting against each other.

The first time it had happened you remembered waking up to a flustered and apologetic Daryl, you quickly blinking awake to realise you had fallen asleep together, at some point in the night after a long run away from Alexandria you had ended up against Daryl’s chest with his arms around you.

You had avoided each other for most of the day after that, your thoughts on how much you liked being in Daryl’s arms, how safe you had felt, how easy it was to sleep and how well rested you were.

From that night it happened a few more times until eventually you both stopped waking up flustered and avoiding each other, neither one of you even pretended to be bashful about it anymore, both content with lying on the couch, safe in each other’s arms, easily drifting off to sleep with Daryl’s heartbeat against your ear.

You were startled out of your thoughts when you felt Daryl’s hand on your skin, his fingers lighting brushing against the top of your chest where a necklace rested.

“Forgot to bring my damn bow.” Daryl grunted as he tried to sit up straighter and you were quick to help him before letting him pull you down next to him, making sure you were still applying pressure to his wound. “This one ain’t much help.”

You laughed again, resting your head on his shoulder as you looked down at the necklace, it was well worn at this point, you had hardly taken it off since Daryl had given it to you.

You could still see the nervous look on his face, all week he had been nervous, he kept opening his mouth as if he had something to say but always let it fall back shut and turned the other way. You had gone to say something to him but decided against it, you didn’t want to pressure him to talk about something he clearly wasn’t ready to discuss.

So you were surprised to say the least when Daryl eventually grew impatient with himself, unable to find a way to give it to you without feeling painfully awkward so he had settled for just thrusting a chain at you. Your eyes had widened in shock when you took it off him, noticing the small archer's bow hanging from the chain before your expression morphed into a grin, pushing the necklace back into his hands and turning around, urging him to put it on you.

Once you turned back around and saw the smile on Daryl’s face, a barely there pull of the lips and his eyes softer than you had ever remembered seeing them, you wished you had had your camera then because you wouldn’t have hesitated to capture him in that moment.

You remembered that time clearly because it was the first time you had thought to yourself that you were in love with Daryl Dixon.

“I’d take this one any day.” You told him softly, tracing the bow with your fingers as you looked up at him, desperately praying to any force that was listening that the others would hurry.

Daryl was pale, a sheen of sweat covering his face as he fought to keep his eyes open, letting out pained hisses and groans every few minutes as you kept your jacket against the bleeding wound.

From outside you could hear leaves crunching, branches snapping, each sound sent a new wave of fear running through you, your mind running wild with different scenarios of the monsters lurking outside.

You shifted your gaze back to Daryl, lifting your hand to gently brush strands of hair from his sweat coated forehead, smiling slightly as he leaned into the touch. Your thumb brushed over a scar that was barely visible anymore, faded with age and only visible if you really looked but you knew it was there, you had been there when he got it. It had been during a bad run, you had come across another group who had immediately gotten the jump on you but Daryl had managed to get you both back in the car, tearing out of the parking lot and speeding down the road long after he had put distance between you and them.

All it took was Daryl glancing away to look at you, assuring himself that you were alright before he turned back to the road, foot slamming onto the brakes at the sudden hoard in front of you. The next thing he knew he was cursing in pain as he was thrown forward before he passed out.

You had immediately gone into panic mode as you so often did whenever Daryl got hurt, now that you were looking back on it it was a wonder you had remained oblivious to your feelings for the man for so long. When Daryl refused to wake up you cursed, looking between him and the walkers and knowing you didn’t have long.

Somehow you managed to drag Daryl into the back seat, ripping your sweater off and pressing it to his bleeding forehead, not unlike how your jacket was pressed to his side now, before jumping into the driver's seat and taking over, getting him back to Alexandria and into the small clinic.

They had asked you to wait outside for them to patch him up, telling you his injury would need a few stitches but when you were finally allowed to see him he was awake and looking at you apologetically.

“M’so damn sorry, Y/N/N,” Daryl had started to say but you cut him off immediately.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, you’re alright, that’s all that matters. You are ok, right?” You asked, sliding into the seat next to him and taking his hand in yours, brushing your thumb against his knuckles softly.

“Yeah, m’alright, few stitches but Y/N I could’ve got you killed.” He was clearly feeling guilty for something that wasn’t his fault and you knew nothing you said would stop that, looking back on it it was obvious Daryl had feelings for you, he had always put your safety miles above everyone else’s, if you got hurt or if there was even the slimmest of chances you could have gotten hurt then that was on him no matter how much you tried to convince him otherwise.

“Daryl, I’m fine, I didn't even get hurt. You’re alright, we’re alright, okay?” You asked and watched him hesitate for a moment before his face crumpled.

In all the years you’d known Daryl you could count the number of times you’d seen him cry on one hand, so when you saw his eyes turn red and teary you couldn’t stop yours from doing the same as the morning sun filtered through the window and you clung to each other.

Daryl caught your hand in his, pulling it away from his scar and entwining them together. Your gaze shifted to meet his eyes and saw his pupils were bigger than usual, a tiny ring of blue barely visible as he looked at you, clearly struggling to stay awake and alert.

“Thanks for coming t’get me.” He whispered, suddenly sounding exhausted but shushing you as you went to sit up in panic. “M’alright, that’s what you always say right, I’m alright, you’re alright, we’re alright. We’re gonna be alright ain’t we, Y/N?”

“We’re alright, Daryl, I promise. You just gotta hold on a little while longer for me, you hear? I can’t do this without you, you promised me I wouldn’t need some dumb picture to remember you.” You told him, watching as his lips pulled into a shaky smile.

“I meant it.” He told you, squeezing your hand weakly. “I meant what I said but just in case, m’glad you have it.”

“Shut up, you’re gonna be alright.” You told him as tears began to slide down your face.

“Doesn’t feel like it.” He winced, shifting to pull you close enough so that he could rest his lips against your head. “Should have told you years ago, was never brave enough though.”

“Don’t do this now.” You pleaded with him but he shook his head.

“Just in case.” He repeated and you sniffed as more tears fell down your cheeks. “Should have told you how pretty you were, every damn morning when I got to wake up next to you, the sun shining on ya, so damn pretty. Should have told ya how much I wanted to kiss ya, all those nights on the couch but I really should’ve told ya how much I love you, should’ve told you you made this world worth livin’ in.”

By the time he finished his voice was barely a whisper, his breathing becoming fainter and fainter and you were sobbing, shaking his shoulder with your free hand in an attempt to get him to open his eyes but they stayed shut.

“I love you too, I love you so much, Daryl. We both know I’d have never made it this far without you, not just because you protected me all these years but because you made this world worth living in too.” You told him, desperately hoping for him to wake up but he didn’t move. “Please Daryl, you can’t do this, I won’t do this without you, please.”

Your sobs filled the shack as Daryl refused to wake up. There was nothing left to believe in and yet you still prayed to any force, any god, anything that would listen that you could keep your promise, that the group would find you and Daryl would be just alright. He had to be because you weren’t sure how you were supposed to go on without him.

By the time you heard the sound of boots outside you sobbed even harder, you couldn’t say how long had passed since you found Daryl but his breathing had gone faint not too long ago and you were both freezing, the small shack and your lack of jacket doing nothing to ward off the winter chill.

“Told you we’d be alright.” You whispered to Daryl even as he stayed motionless, letting your cold lips press against the scar on his forehead. “We’ll be alright.”

“Help him.” You pleaded with Rick once the door opened, his eyes soft and sympathetic as he nodded, gesturing for Maggie to help you stand whilst he got Daryl.

You made a noise of protest when you felt yourself being moved away from Daryl but were quietly shushed as a warm arm wrapped around your shoulder and led you out of the small shack you’d found.

When Maggie led you out though you couldn’t help but look around, noticing that there were no monsters out here, not anymore, just the wide stretch of trees that towered over you, full but still not able to block the rising sun and you let your gaze fall to Daryl.

He would be alright.

The two of you were placed in the back of the car where you pulled him close, brushing his hair with numb hands and letting yourself relax as you were finally on your way home.

It took a couple of days for Daryl to wake up, you hadn’t moved from his hospital bed, sleeping in the chair and not caring how uncomfortable it was, not when the other option was to leave Daryl whilst you slept in your bed alone, without him. The others had tried to get you to leave but you refused, wanting, needing to be here when he woke up.

When he did open his eyes it was when the sun was just beginning to rise over Alexandria, the golden rays shining into the hospital room and making it look less cold, less unwelcoming.

Daryl’s eyes found you straight away and he let himself take a moment to just look, to watch as you played absentmindedly with the necklace around your neck with one hand whilst the other held his, your thumb brushing soothingly across his knuckles. He could see the dark circles formed under your eyes and knew you hadn’t gotten much sleep since being rescued but he couldn’t blame you much there, whenever it was you in his place nobody could drag him away from you.

Despite looking exhausted and despite clearly having been crying at some point during the night Daryl couldn’t help but think you looked more beautiful than ever and he gave your hand a gentle squeeze, smiling as surprise filled your face as your head shot up to look at him, both of you soaked in the morning sunlight.

“I’m alright.” Daryl said first, watching as a smile spread across your face as you chuckled breathlessly.

“You’re alright.” You confirmed, unable to stop your smile from widening. “We’re alright.”

“Are we?” Daryl couldn’t help but ask, remembering his confessions to you when he had doubted if he would open his eyes again, his only thoughts being how much he needed to tell you and how much he hated that he was going to leave you alone.

“I meant what I said, I love you, I love you so much. Without you I wouldn’t have wanted to make it this far into this world but having you with me, it makes everything else worth it. I love you and you were right, we should have said it earlier.” You told him honestly, watching as his lips pulled into a smile reserved just for you.

“I love you too, I know we didn’t start great but what we got now, I love that, I love getting to wake up with you every morning and sleepin’ at your side every night. I love you, Y/N/N, I’d tear the whole world apart for you.” Daryl said, feeling lighter than he had in years now that it was finally out there, now that he finally knew where he stood with you. “Can’t wait to go home with you.”

If you were asked to describe your relationship with Daryl you would have said it was simple. It was the simplest thing in the world, you loved him and he loved you. It didn’t matter that that hadn’t always been the case, not now, not when he was finally given the all clear and the two of you practically fell onto the couch, Daryl pulling you close against his good side, your head against his chest with his heartbeat in your ear. It was the simplest thing in the world when he pulled you close and pressed your lips together, it was simple in the way he held your hand and you brushed strands of hair from his face.

It was simple because you had made it out of the woods and it had been enough for you and Daryl to finally say how you felt, to say the words that had been held back for so long. Even if nothing really changed between you except for the fact you knew how his lips felt against yours or that you knew every part of his body and he did yours, except for the fact you finally knew how the words I love you sounded coming from the other. It was all so simple and even if it had taken years longer than it needed you had finally got there and everything was alright, the two of you had each other and it was more than enough.

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Tags :
4 months ago

Masterlist

Started: 9/30/24

Updated: 10/10/24

Total Works: 5

Masterlist

The Walking Dead:

Finding Myself, Finding You:

➼ Chapter One

➼ Chapter Two

➼ Chapter Three

➼ Chapter Four

➼ Chapter Five

➼ Chapter Six

➼ Chapter Seven

➼ Chapter Eight

➼ Chapter Nine

➼ Chapter Ten

➼ Chapter Eleven

➼ Chapter Twelve

➼ Chapter Thirteen

➼ Chapter Fourteen

➼ Chapter Fifteen

➼ Chapter Sixteen

➼ Chapter Seventeen

Incorrect Quotes (I guess that's what I'd call these):

➼ Original Idea #1

➼ That one Tiktok Audio

➼ Original Idea #2

➼ Original Idea #3

Oneshots (coming soon):


Tags :
4 months ago

Masterlist

Started: 9/30/24

Updated: 10/10/24

Total Works: 5

Masterlist

The Walking Dead:

Finding Myself, Finding You:

➼ Chapter One

➼ Chapter Two

➼ Chapter Three

➼ Chapter Four

➼ Chapter Five

➼ Chapter Six

➼ Chapter Seven

➼ Chapter Eight

➼ Chapter Nine

➼ Chapter Ten

➼ Chapter Eleven

➼ Chapter Twelve

➼ Chapter Thirteen

➼ Chapter Fourteen

➼ Chapter Fifteen

➼ Chapter Sixteen

➼ Chapter Seventeen

Incorrect Quotes (I guess that's what I'd call these):

➼ Original Idea #1

➼ That one Tiktok Audio

➼ Original Idea #2

➼ Original Idea #3

Oneshots (coming soon):


Tags :
4 months ago

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Seven

Masterlist

AO3 link

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, alcohol consumption (nothing excessive but Vector does get tipsy to the point she's dizzy)

Word count: 2.3k

“Oh my God, Vector, you have to tell us everything now. Have you talked to him much?” Rosita asked. She was beaming. I was beginning to regret the second glass of wine, let alone the third one in my hand. I set it down on the counter behind me, afraid that if I continued, I’d say some things I didn’t want to share.

“I mean, you know him, he doesn’t really like to talk. Rick sent the two of us on a run this morning. Talked a little bit, but nothing crazy.”

“You were alone with him outside the walls?” Michonne gushed, bouncing Judith up and down on her leg. Even the little baby, though she couldn’t understand what was happening around her, looked excited for me.

“Oh shut up,” I scoffed, “like I said, it was nothing crazy. We headed out, I tried to start a conversation, he shut me down, I showed off my combat skills because Rick told him to have me “prove them,” we got the shit and talked a little on the way back.” I paused for a moment, picking up my glass and taking another sip. I had decided I would need liquid courage if I was going to make it out of this conversation alive.

“Were you flirty at all?” Rosita asked. I felt my cheeks beginning to turn red again.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” I replied, tilting my head back and consuming the rest of my glass in one swig. I set it down again, this time not going to have another one. “I may or may not have told him that he should talk more because I like his voice…and that I could listen to him talk all day. Do you think that was too much?”

I scanned the room, looking at each of my new friends. Their jaws were on the floor, their mouths upturned into giddy smiles. They kept their eyes locked on me as I adjusted myself in my seat awkwardly. I held my breath, regretting that I had shared such a piece of information with people who were practically strangers, and waited for one of them to say something, anything.

“Oh my God!” Michonne finally exclaimed. I let out the air I was holding. “Well, what did he say?”

“What I imagine is a classic Daryl response, which is nothing.” Rosita got up from her chair to get herself another glass of wine.

“What did you talk about on the way back?” she asked as she passed by me to the kitchen.

I scratched at the skin at the side of my right thumb with my index finger, a habit I often fell to when I was especially anxious. “Umm, it was short. He started it, asked me why I go by Vector. I answered and that was it.”

“Girl! That is a get-to-know-you question. Daryl doesn’t ask those. Of anyone. And he’s the one who started it,” Maggie said. She stopped, briefly looking over my shoulder at Rosita before locking eyes with me again. “What were you doing when Rosita and I got there earlier to get you?”

I took my glass, which Rosita had so kindly filled with water, and sipped at it. “How’s that relevant?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Umm, I was just chilling in my room, sitting my the window, people watching. A butterfly came along at one point and joined me. Sat on my finger for a little, then on my nose before they flew away. Why?”

“Holy fuck, she’s like a goddamn Disney princess,” Rosita commented, plunking herself back into the chair she was occupying.

“How long were you doing that for?”

“Uh, I probably sat by my window for like half a hour. The butterfly situation lasted like five minutes maybe. Then I went to get up and had a damn heart attack because I didn’t realize Daryl was there. He didn’t say anything until I turned around. Again, why?” Maggie and Rosita exchanged excited glances, the same looks they exchanged on our walk over here, before Maggie continued.

“So when we got there, Daryl said he’d go get you. We were waiting for you for a few minutes. I saw him through the cracked door. He was just standing there in your doorway.” Her face was lit up at this point. “He could’ve just yelled for you or let us in to get you. I think he wanted an excuse to see you, talk to you, even for just a second. I think he was watching you the whole time.”

I felt the butterflies in my stomach fluttering like mad at the thought of him standing in my doorway, just watching me having a wholesome, innocent moment with a butterfly. If he indeed was standing there the whole time, what was he thinking about me? Did he think I was some dumb woman who clearly wasn’t cut out to survive the apocalypse? Did he think I was silly and there were better things I could be doing? Or did he think it was, dare I say, cute?

“I don’t know. I don’t even think he likes me. I think I’m being tolerated at best.”

“If he really didn’t like you, you wouldn’t have to guess. You’d know,” Maggie explained, “he’d make it abundantly clear.” Her reassurance, combined with the fact that she’d known Daryl for much longer than me, brought me some comfort. At least it seemed like he didn’t hate me.

“Well, if he wanted to see me or talk to me, he could just do that,” I said, “I don’t bite.”

“Daryl’s a little…too awkward when it comes to that. I don’t think he’s ever been with a woman,” Maggie replied. I cocked my eyebrow at her.

“What about a man?” I asked.

“I don’t think he’s ever been with anyone,” Michonne cut in. I turned my confused expression in her direction. I found it hard to believe that someone as strong, handsome, and mysterious as Daryl hadn’t been with anyone, romantically or otherwise.

“Him? Nah, I don’t believe he’s never been with anyone. Have you seen the man?” I rolled my eyes back and giggled. “He’s gorgeous. I’m sure there’s always been both men and women fawning over him.” They were now giggling at me, my level of tipsiness making itself known. Had I not eaten before coming, I’m sure I would’ve been far more drunk.

The front door handle jiggled, and in came Carl, Rick, and Glenn. Glenn waltzed over to Maggie, practically scooping her up to give her a kiss. Carl gave me a small wave and a “hey Vector” before walking past us to his room, presumably. Rick approached Michonne and gave her a smooch as well, taking Judith before turning to me.

“Makin’ friends Vector?”

“You know it, cowboy.” When I first got here and woke up in the cell, I had asked Rick for his name so I could address him properly, but ever since, I had almost exclusively referred to him as “cowboy.”

“Rick, Glenn, we have a question for you,” Maggie asked them. Michonne and Rosita looked like they were trying to stop themselves from busting out laughing.

“No we don’t.” I was perhaps a bit too quick with my response.

“Do you think Daryl’s ever been involved with anyone romantically? Is that something y’all’ve talked about?” She was trying to suppress her own laughter at this point. Glenn and Rick exchanged glances. Rick took the liberty of responding for both of them.

“He’s never talked about it, we haven't asked. But no, I don’t think he has. Why?” Maggie turned to me and gave me a “see, told you” look. Her diverting her attention to me caused Glenn and Rick to follow, as if her doing so was an answer to Rick’s question. I was probably more red than the brightest tomato any of them had ever seen.

“Does somebody have a little schoolgirl crush?” Glenn teased.

“Are you shitting my dick right now?” I mumbled under my breath, “y’all don’t keep secrets around here, do you?”

“If it makes you feel better, I think I can speak for both Maggie and I when we way we would’ve let it slip to them at some point,” Michonne said. I hopped up off of my stool and walked over to my boots.

“I don’t see how that’s supposed to make me feel better. None of you are to say a word to him about this. Aaron’s the only other one who knows.”

“So almost all of us that really know Daryl know about it?” Rosita laughed.

“I guess, yeah.” I figured Glenn and Rick getting back was the sign that it was time to leave, so I started zipping my boots up. Rosita got up and came to do the same, as did Maggie, Glenn following close behind her. ”Thank you for inviting me to hang with y’all. Now what we discussed in this room stays in this room. This circle is HIPAA compliant. Do I make myself clear?” They all nodded.

“Crystal,” Michonne smiled. I finished putting my boots on and stepped out of the way for the others to do the same. I followed them out the door and down the steps of the front porch after saying goodnight to Rick and Michonne.

“Invite me again when y’all do that,” I said, “but don’t let me drink so much. I’m starting to feel dizzy.” I held my hands out at my sides, just a bit, to help myself as I walked.

“Geez, you really are a lightweight. You gonna be ok?” Maggie asked, placing a hand on my shoulder as we continued.

“Don’t worry, she has a big, strong, handsome man at home that can help her up into bed,” Rosita teased. I was too focused on making sure I didn’t fall over as I walked to come up with a clever response to her snarky remark.

“Oh hush,” was all I could muster up.

Glenn and Maggie’s place was first, and Rosita walked with me the rest of the way to mine, as hers was past me. She made sure I got up the front steps without falling before heading off.

“Hey Rosita?” I slowly turned to her, and she stopped and looked back at me, “y’all are really cool. Thanks for allowing me to come.”

“Anytime. Now just get into bed safe,” she commented, turning and heading off. I slowly approached the front door and tried to be as quiet as possible as I let myself in in case Daryl was asleep.

But he wasn’t. He was standing in the kitchen, and he had just poured himself some whiskey. It smelled like gasoline and only made my dizziness worse. I let the door close softly behind me and carefully lowered myself to the ground to take my boots off.

“The hell ya doin’?” I turned my head in his direction, and by that point I was so dizzy that all I could make out clearly was vague shapes and colors. I could tell he was wearing something black, and he was leaning over the kitchen island, but that was about it.

“I…am a lightweight…and I’m…so dizzy right now…I can barely see you…” I took my shoes out from under me and cautiously stood up, making sure I had my footing before I started walking toward the stairs.

“What’d ya drink?” Daryl asked. My lack of sobriety made me question whether or not the slight hint of concern in his voice was real or if I had imagined it.

“I had…three glasses…of wine…” I replied.

“Jesus, ya really are a lightweight.” I kept my hands out at my sides to maintain my balance, stepping and stopping for a moment before taking another one, “careful goin’ up them stairs now. Fall and break ya neck if ya slip, and I ain’t cleanin’ that up.” I didn’t say or do anything, I just kept my slow pace toward the stairs. As I approached the bottom step, I heard Daryl’s footsteps come around from the kitchen and stand somewhere behind me.

“What are you…doing?” I turned my head to talk back over my shoulder.

“Makin’ sure ya don’t break ya neck. We just got a doctor. Can’t have her gettin’ herself killed that fast.” He swirled his whiskey in his hand. I didn’t notice the sound of ice clinking against the cup. The man took his whiskey neat—couldn’t say I was surprised by that.

I carefully stepped up onto the first step, grabbing onto both sides of the railing with my hands to steady myself. To say I was humiliated would be an understatement. I didn’t need a babysitter, but my low tolerance for alcohol demanded I have one.

“Well this…is…embarrassing,” I said as I continued making my way up the steps.

“Nah, we all get a lil’ too drunk sometimes,” he said, “easy escape in a world like this. Hard not to.” After I was probably halfway up, I heard his footsteps again, this time coming to the bottom of the steps before stopping. When I was almost at the top, he came up the stairs a bit, always making sure to leave a distance of several steps between us. I didn’t know if that was because he was uncomfortable getting too close or he didn’t want me getting uncomfortable with him getting too close. Once I had finally made the long, arduous journey to my bedroom door, I turned back to him. My dizziness was only getting worse, but I could make out the shape of him on the steps, facing my direction.

“Thanks for…not letting me…break my neck…Daryl.” I gave him a tipsy smile and a two-finger salute. “Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” he responded. I shut the door, taking my glasses off and setting them on my dresser before allowing myself to fall back onto the bed. I crawled up toward my pillow and was asleep before my head even touched it.


Tags :
4 months ago

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Seven

Masterlist

AO3 link

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, alcohol consumption (nothing excessive but Vector does get tipsy to the point she's dizzy)

Word count: 2.3k

“Oh my God, Vector, you have to tell us everything now. Have you talked to him much?” Rosita asked. She was beaming. I was beginning to regret the second glass of wine, let alone the third one in my hand. I set it down on the counter behind me, afraid that if I continued, I’d say some things I didn’t want to share.

“I mean, you know him, he doesn’t really like to talk. Rick sent the two of us on a run this morning. Talked a little bit, but nothing crazy.”

“You were alone with him outside the walls?” Michonne gushed, bouncing Judith up and down on her leg. Even the little baby, though she couldn’t understand what was happening around her, looked excited for me.

“Oh shut up,” I scoffed, “like I said, it was nothing crazy. We headed out, I tried to start a conversation, he shut me down, I showed off my combat skills because Rick told him to have me “prove them,” we got the shit and talked a little on the way back.” I paused for a moment, picking up my glass and taking another sip. I had decided I would need liquid courage if I was going to make it out of this conversation alive.

“Were you flirty at all?” Rosita asked. I felt my cheeks beginning to turn red again.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” I replied, tilting my head back and consuming the rest of my glass in one swig. I set it down again, this time not going to have another one. “I may or may not have told him that he should talk more because I like his voice…and that I could listen to him talk all day. Do you think that was too much?”

I scanned the room, looking at each of my new friends. Their jaws were on the floor, their mouths upturned into giddy smiles. They kept their eyes locked on me as I adjusted myself in my seat awkwardly. I held my breath, regretting that I had shared such a piece of information with people who were practically strangers, and waited for one of them to say something, anything.

“Oh my God!” Michonne finally exclaimed. I let out the air I was holding. “Well, what did he say?”

“What I imagine is a classic Daryl response, which is nothing.” Rosita got up from her chair to get herself another glass of wine.

“What did you talk about on the way back?” she asked as she passed by me to the kitchen.

I scratched at the skin at the side of my right thumb with my index finger, a habit I often fell to when I was especially anxious. “Umm, it was short. He started it, asked me why I go by Vector. I answered and that was it.”

“Girl! That is a get-to-know-you question. Daryl doesn’t ask those. Of anyone. And he’s the one who started it,” Maggie said. She stopped, briefly looking over my shoulder at Rosita before locking eyes with me again. “What were you doing when Rosita and I got there earlier to get you?”

I took my glass, which Rosita had so kindly filled with water, and sipped at it. “How’s that relevant?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Umm, I was just chilling in my room, sitting my the window, people watching. A butterfly came along at one point and joined me. Sat on my finger for a little, then on my nose before they flew away. Why?”

“Holy fuck, she’s like a goddamn Disney princess,” Rosita commented, plunking herself back into the chair she was occupying.

“How long were you doing that for?”

“Uh, I probably sat by my window for like half a hour. The butterfly situation lasted like five minutes maybe. Then I went to get up and had a damn heart attack because I didn’t realize Daryl was there. He didn’t say anything until I turned around. Again, why?” Maggie and Rosita exchanged excited glances, the same looks they exchanged on our walk over here, before Maggie continued.

“So when we got there, Daryl said he’d go get you. We were waiting for you for a few minutes. I saw him through the cracked door. He was just standing there in your doorway.” Her face was lit up at this point. “He could’ve just yelled for you or let us in to get you. I think he wanted an excuse to see you, talk to you, even for just a second. I think he was watching you the whole time.”

I felt the butterflies in my stomach fluttering like mad at the thought of him standing in my doorway, just watching me having a wholesome, innocent moment with a butterfly. If he indeed was standing there the whole time, what was he thinking about me? Did he think I was some dumb woman who clearly wasn’t cut out to survive the apocalypse? Did he think I was silly and there were better things I could be doing? Or did he think it was, dare I say, cute?

“I don’t know. I don’t even think he likes me. I think I’m being tolerated at best.”

“If he really didn’t like you, you wouldn’t have to guess. You’d know,” Maggie explained, “he’d make it abundantly clear.” Her reassurance, combined with the fact that she’d known Daryl for much longer than me, brought me some comfort. At least it seemed like he didn’t hate me.

“Well, if he wanted to see me or talk to me, he could just do that,” I said, “I don’t bite.”

“Daryl’s a little…too awkward when it comes to that. I don’t think he’s ever been with a woman,” Maggie replied. I cocked my eyebrow at her.

“What about a man?” I asked.

“I don’t think he’s ever been with anyone,” Michonne cut in. I turned my confused expression in her direction. I found it hard to believe that someone as strong, handsome, and mysterious as Daryl hadn’t been with anyone, romantically or otherwise.

“Him? Nah, I don’t believe he’s never been with anyone. Have you seen the man?” I rolled my eyes back and giggled. “He’s gorgeous. I’m sure there’s always been both men and women fawning over him.” They were now giggling at me, my level of tipsiness making itself known. Had I not eaten before coming, I’m sure I would’ve been far more drunk.

The front door handle jiggled, and in came Carl, Rick, and Glenn. Glenn waltzed over to Maggie, practically scooping her up to give her a kiss. Carl gave me a small wave and a “hey Vector” before walking past us to his room, presumably. Rick approached Michonne and gave her a smooch as well, taking Judith before turning to me.

“Makin’ friends Vector?”

“You know it, cowboy.” When I first got here and woke up in the cell, I had asked Rick for his name so I could address him properly, but ever since, I had almost exclusively referred to him as “cowboy.”

“Rick, Glenn, we have a question for you,” Maggie asked them. Michonne and Rosita looked like they were trying to stop themselves from busting out laughing.

“No we don’t.” I was perhaps a bit too quick with my response.

“Do you think Daryl’s ever been involved with anyone romantically? Is that something y’all’ve talked about?” She was trying to suppress her own laughter at this point. Glenn and Rick exchanged glances. Rick took the liberty of responding for both of them.

“He’s never talked about it, we haven't asked. But no, I don’t think he has. Why?” Maggie turned to me and gave me a “see, told you” look. Her diverting her attention to me caused Glenn and Rick to follow, as if her doing so was an answer to Rick’s question. I was probably more red than the brightest tomato any of them had ever seen.

“Does somebody have a little schoolgirl crush?” Glenn teased.

“Are you shitting my dick right now?” I mumbled under my breath, “y’all don’t keep secrets around here, do you?”

“If it makes you feel better, I think I can speak for both Maggie and I when we way we would’ve let it slip to them at some point,” Michonne said. I hopped up off of my stool and walked over to my boots.

“I don’t see how that’s supposed to make me feel better. None of you are to say a word to him about this. Aaron’s the only other one who knows.”

“So almost all of us that really know Daryl know about it?” Rosita laughed.

“I guess, yeah.” I figured Glenn and Rick getting back was the sign that it was time to leave, so I started zipping my boots up. Rosita got up and came to do the same, as did Maggie, Glenn following close behind her. ”Thank you for inviting me to hang with y’all. Now what we discussed in this room stays in this room. This circle is HIPAA compliant. Do I make myself clear?” They all nodded.

“Crystal,” Michonne smiled. I finished putting my boots on and stepped out of the way for the others to do the same. I followed them out the door and down the steps of the front porch after saying goodnight to Rick and Michonne.

“Invite me again when y’all do that,” I said, “but don’t let me drink so much. I’m starting to feel dizzy.” I held my hands out at my sides, just a bit, to help myself as I walked.

“Geez, you really are a lightweight. You gonna be ok?” Maggie asked, placing a hand on my shoulder as we continued.

“Don’t worry, she has a big, strong, handsome man at home that can help her up into bed,” Rosita teased. I was too focused on making sure I didn’t fall over as I walked to come up with a clever response to her snarky remark.

“Oh hush,” was all I could muster up.

Glenn and Maggie’s place was first, and Rosita walked with me the rest of the way to mine, as hers was past me. She made sure I got up the front steps without falling before heading off.

“Hey Rosita?” I slowly turned to her, and she stopped and looked back at me, “y’all are really cool. Thanks for allowing me to come.”

“Anytime. Now just get into bed safe,” she commented, turning and heading off. I slowly approached the front door and tried to be as quiet as possible as I let myself in in case Daryl was asleep.

But he wasn’t. He was standing in the kitchen, and he had just poured himself some whiskey. It smelled like gasoline and only made my dizziness worse. I let the door close softly behind me and carefully lowered myself to the ground to take my boots off.

“The hell ya doin’?” I turned my head in his direction, and by that point I was so dizzy that all I could make out clearly was vague shapes and colors. I could tell he was wearing something black, and he was leaning over the kitchen island, but that was about it.

“I…am a lightweight…and I’m…so dizzy right now…I can barely see you…” I took my shoes out from under me and cautiously stood up, making sure I had my footing before I started walking toward the stairs.

“What’d ya drink?” Daryl asked. My lack of sobriety made me question whether or not the slight hint of concern in his voice was real or if I had imagined it.

“I had…three glasses…of wine…” I replied.

“Jesus, ya really are a lightweight.” I kept my hands out at my sides to maintain my balance, stepping and stopping for a moment before taking another one, “careful goin’ up them stairs now. Fall and break ya neck if ya slip, and I ain’t cleanin’ that up.” I didn’t say or do anything, I just kept my slow pace toward the stairs. As I approached the bottom step, I heard Daryl’s footsteps come around from the kitchen and stand somewhere behind me.

“What are you…doing?” I turned my head to talk back over my shoulder.

“Makin’ sure ya don’t break ya neck. We just got a doctor. Can’t have her gettin’ herself killed that fast.” He swirled his whiskey in his hand. I didn’t notice the sound of ice clinking against the cup. The man took his whiskey neat—couldn’t say I was surprised by that.

I carefully stepped up onto the first step, grabbing onto both sides of the railing with my hands to steady myself. To say I was humiliated would be an understatement. I didn’t need a babysitter, but my low tolerance for alcohol demanded I have one.

“Well this…is…embarrassing,” I said as I continued making my way up the steps.

“Nah, we all get a lil’ too drunk sometimes,” he said, “easy escape in a world like this. Hard not to.” After I was probably halfway up, I heard his footsteps again, this time coming to the bottom of the steps before stopping. When I was almost at the top, he came up the stairs a bit, always making sure to leave a distance of several steps between us. I didn’t know if that was because he was uncomfortable getting too close or he didn’t want me getting uncomfortable with him getting too close. Once I had finally made the long, arduous journey to my bedroom door, I turned back to him. My dizziness was only getting worse, but I could make out the shape of him on the steps, facing my direction.

“Thanks for…not letting me…break my neck…Daryl.” I gave him a tipsy smile and a two-finger salute. “Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” he responded. I shut the door, taking my glasses off and setting them on my dresser before allowing myself to fall back onto the bed. I crawled up toward my pillow and was asleep before my head even touched it.


Tags :
4 months ago

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Twelve

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

Sleeping Beauty (c) Disney, Wednesday Addams (c) Charles Addams

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, mentions of sibling death, mentions of blood (kinda?), attempted amputation, and violence (past experience of something trying to cut their own arm off after walker bite)

Word count: 2.7k

There was plenty for us to go through in the store, and I wasn’t sure if we’d be able to get it all or if we’d have to come back another time. Maybe it only seemed like a lot because I was expecting to find far less, but I was grateful nonetheless. Plus, we still had the medical center to go to, and I would of course be taking everything in sight from there.

We did what we did on the last one, where I started at one end and Daryl at the other. The boxes from before were still in the car, so we grabbed those to use. I was in an aisle that had canned vegetables and beans, and I even found a couple boxes of mac ’n cheese. Call me a child, but it was still one of my favorites. That, cheap ramen packets, and my dump ’n pray recipes got me through med school.

I took my now full box and carried it over near where Daryl was, setting it down and grabbing another one to take back to the other side with me. I knelt down at at the end of one of the aisles where I found things like oil and vinegar. Daryl had climbed up some shelves to reach some stuff on the top of one of the aisles. I noticed an empty beer bottle on the floor near me. The label had been removed, and there had been masking tape placed on it with a heart drawn on the tape in Sharpie.

“It’s like goddamn spin the bottle,” I laughed, tapping the top of the bottle so it spun around. If there in fact was a group of people who sat here and played, I hoped it worked out in everyone’s favor. Daryl looked down when he heard the bottle clinking around on the floor.

“The hell’s that?” Daryl asked. I looked up at him and let out a single chuckle before going back to what I was doing.

“Daryl, you sweet summer child,” I sighed, “it’s a game you play with a group of people. You all sit in a circle around a bottle, one person starts, and they spin the bottle around. They have to kiss whoever the top end points to when it stops.”

I had to physically restrain myself from saying I would go and tapping the bottle to rotate it to point at him. I heard Carol’s voice in the back of my head. Be patient with him.

“Seems weird,” he said, dropping some items he pulled from the back of the top shelf into the box below him, “what if couples ‘re playin’?”

“Ideally, everyone playing is single. It’s mostly a thing high schoolers & college students play at parties,” I explained, snickering a little, “I had my first kiss during a game of spin the bottle in high school. It was fucking awful.” I managed to elicit a stifled laugh from Daryl. I kept grabbing random bottles off the shelf and putting them into my box. "Guy tried to play grab-ass, so I gave him a black eye in front of everyone. Called me a bitch like what I did was unprompted. People at my high school quickly learned I was not to be fucked with.”

“Jesus. How old were ya?” I stuck my head between two of the shelves to reach something at the back.

“Uh, like 14 or 15 I think. I’ve always been really friendly, very approachable, if you will, and people tend to think they can take advantage of that until I show them that if they fuck around, they’re sure to find out.”

“Hey,” Daryl called down to me, and I pulled my head out from the shelf and looked up at him, “any of the guys ‘round Alexandria give ya trouble, send ‘em my way. They can fuck around ’nd find out with me. Sound like you’ve dealt with ’nough already.” The warming sensation in my chest returned again, and my stomach flipped around in my abdomen. I gave him a giant smile.

“Thanks. That uh…that means a lot.” I knew I could handle my own if any of the men around Alexandria did so choose to fuck around with me, and I think he knew that too, but it was sweet that Daryl wanted to take some of that burden off of me if it happened.

There was a couple minutes of silence between us before either one said anything. I don’t know how it happened, but a certain level of boldness came over me. “Hey Daryl? Did you have a girlfriend before all this?” I asked, “or a boyfriend. I don’t mean to be presumptuous.”

“Was always just Merle ’nd I,” he said. There was more silence for a minute. I think he was deciding whether or not to ask the question he eventually did. “You?”

“Me neither. Men are trash.” I looked up at Daryl and smiled. “Present company excluded, of course. Last guy I dated was probably early college, and he was terrible. He was possessive as hell, even got insecure over me hanging out with my brothers. Weird ass.”

“Sounds like you’ve dealt with some real human garbage,” he said, climbing down the shelves from his perch, “glad to know I’m excluded.” I got up from my spot on the floor to go down the next aisle, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks once again. This time, I just allowed it to happen.

We continued our way around the store, grabbing what we could and filling the boxes and my backpack as much as we could. If this medical center had plenty to take, hopefully they’d have something to store it in. It did in fact seem like a lot because I was expecting there to be less. Apparently, this area had been evacuated pretty early on, so that explained why we got so lucky both times we’ve gone out.

I was going to stick with it being that I was a good luck charm though.

“The hell’s almond milk?” Daryl said, flipping the blue carton around in his hands, scanning over it.

“Oh shit, nice!” I exclaimed, “throw it here.” I reached my arms out, and he turned around and gently tossed the carton in my direction. I caught it and inspected it myself. “It’s a milk substitute made from almonds, like for people with dairy allergies. It’s not too bad in a pinch.” I placed the carton into my box. “Jay was violently allergic to dairy. Poor guy could literally look at a stick of butter and I swear it’d make him sick.”

“Ya talk ‘bout your brothers a lot,” I heard Daryl say from a couple aisles over.

“Oh yeah, guess I do. Sorry,” I replied, rather sheepishly. The fear of coming across as annoying came creeping back in at full force.

“Ain’t say it’s bad. Sounds like they were good to ya,” he said.

“They were. They were some of my best friends. I got really lucky,” I responded. I smiled at the fond memories that flashed quickly through my mind—them teaching me to fight, staying up late in the summertime when we were kids and sneaking out into the backyard after our parents went to sleep to catch fireflies, long conversations around a bonfire on family vacations, making snow angels in the winter…my daydreams were interrupted by Daryl’s next question.

“Hey Vec? When ya got here, ya said somethin’ ‘bout when this started, gettin’ home ‘nd findin’ one of ‘em. Had to…finish ‘em off.” I heard him quickly maneuvering through different aisles, grabbing things as he made his way in my direction. The man worked fast, I’d give him that.

I set my box down on a shelf in front of me, grabbing a couple containers of random spices and tossing them in. “I thought it was established that I was done answering questions,” I joked. I had no issues talking about Eli, but I didn’t want to get too emotional out on a run where it was important to remain vigilant. “But yeah, I did. It was Eli. He was the youngest of them. Preston was the oldest, and Jay and Eli were twins, then there was me. I was on my way home already when everything started, and when I got there, I, uh…”

I took my glasses off and set them gently next to my box, holding my sleeves to my eyes to quickly soak up the impending tears. “I found him in the living room. He’d gotten bit. More than once.” I kept my sleeves pressed to my eyes and tried my best to control my voice so it didn’t sound like I was about to start crying. “He tried to cut his arm off. Couldn't get the axe through. Poor guy still had it in his shoulder when I found him. After that, I just sat in the house and cried for hours. I miss him terribly.”

I dried my eyes and blinked back the tears that tried to creep through. I took a couple of deep breaths and fanned my eyes before putting my glasses back on. Although I couldn’t see them myself, I’m sure my eyes were red. I placed a couple more things in and turned back to see Daryl standing at the end cap, startling me once again and causing me to almost drop the now-full box in my arms.

“God, what did I say about sneaking up on me?” I scolded. I immediately felt bad for the tone I used, which was more irritated than it would normally be given my heightened emotions. “Fuck, sorry. I just don’t wanna get too emotional outside the walls. Gotta stay on high alert, y’know?”

“Yeah,” he said, walking past me towards the front of the store. We had about cleared the place out by that point. “Sorry ‘bout askin’.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s ok, really. We’ve all lost people we love to this fucking virus. Something we all got in common. Might as well talk about them, keep their memories alive and whatnot,” I said, following behind him.

We took a couple trips putting boxes into the trunk before taking one more walk-through to make sure we didn’t miss anything. After that, we climbed back into the car to go find this medical center that would, ideally, have a prosthetic for Aaron. And hopefully more. Could never have too much medical supplies on hand, as far I was concerned.

“The good luck charm strikes again,” I called out as I skipped out the front door of the store back to the car. I could feel Daryl rolling his eyes at me as I climbed into the car and made myself comfortable.

“So Daryl,” I said, strapping myself back into my seat, “back to talking about you again. What are your interests? Like what hobbies do you have? Well, if we can even have hobbies anymore. I mean, I write, I guess that’s a hobby.” He turned back out onto the road, going in the opposite direction that we came from. I pulled my water bottle out of my very crammed backpack to finally chug some. Still had a bad habit of letting myself get dehydrated, even with regular access to water.

“Guess I got my bike.” I figured he had to be referring to the motorcycle I’d seen sitting near the front gates. I’d never seen anyone use it, so I wasn’t sure who it belonged to, but now that I knew it was Daryl’s, I couldn’t say I was surprised.

Daryl—the tall, tan, whiskey-sippin’, motorcycle-ridin’, crossbow-wielding bonafide badass who smelled like leather and tobacco. And then there was me—the “tiny,” soft, flower-pickin’, poetry-writin’, Disney princess-ass surgeon who used a sex toy as a weapon. We made quite a team.

“Oh shit, that bike’s yours? I was wondering who it belonged to,” I said, “that’s so dope. But please tell me you have a helmet you wear with it.” When he didn’t answer, I clicked my tongue and gave him a disapproving stare. “You don’t wanna know how many people I saw torn to pieces after motorcycle accidents and how many death certificates I signed because someone wasn’t wearing a helmet. If you ever find one, promise me you’ll wear it.”

“No promises, but ok,” he said, taking a turn onto the next road. I huffed a sigh and put my feet back up on the dash, crossing my legs.

"Could you show me some stuff about your bike sometime?" I asked, “I don’t know, maybe have me hang around next time you give a tune-up or something.” He was quiet, and I twirled a piece of hair in my finger, afraid that maybe I’d been too forward somehow. I wiggled my toes again to keep my mind preoccupied in the silent car.

“What for?” He seemed surprised by my interest.

"I like learning about the things my friends are interested in. I may not understand it, but if it's important to them, then it's important to me,” I explained, reminiscing on the times my best friend would lecture on about engineering and my dad go on and on about space, “I like watching people’s faces light up when they talk about something they love, how excited they get when they get to tell me about this thing that means so much to them. It makes me happy to see them happy.”

“You’re just a goddamn ray of sunshine, aren’tcha?” I could tell by his tone that it wasn’t meant in a bad way. Not in a “you’re too much of a ray of sunshine, calm down” kind of way, but in an acknowledging kind of way. Maybe an admiring kind of way.

I laughed a little. “I try to be. It’s hard enough out there as it is.”

He was quiet once again, the same stoic look on his face that made it impossible for me to tell what was going on in that pretty little head. The only sounds were the tires on the dirt road and the hum of the engine.

“Yeah, I’ll show ya some stuff,” he finally said.

“Nice,” I said, doing a tiny fist pump in the air, “alright, next question. Umm…what would you be doing if the world never fell?” He gave me a quick glance before putting his eyes back on the road.

“Whadaya think I’d be doin’?” he asked. My eyes scanned over him before resting on his muscular arms. It didn’t help that he was wearing one of his shirts with the sleeves hacked off. Or maybe it did. Was I using this as a moment to check him out? Absolutely.

“You look like the handyman type. Or an auto mechanic maybe. Some kind of manual labor for sure, you’re definitely built for it,” I said, biting my tongue upon realizing that it could potentially be interpreted as flirting. Yeah, I had done a little bit, but I was afraid of going too overboard. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable or freak him out.

“Sounds ‘bout right.”

I rested the side of my head on the window, staring out at a couple of deer that were prancing off in the distance. “Alright tough guy, what about me? If you didn’t know I was a doctor, what do you think I’d be doing in a normal world?”

He hardly skipped a beat. “Probably a comedian since ya talk so damn much,” he said. My jaw dropped, both at how quickly he came up with such a comeback as well as the nature of the comeback itself. However, I could tell by his tone that he was messing with me.

“Ouch,” I said sarcastically, leaning back in my seat and placing my hand over my chest, giving him a cheeky smile, “right in the heart.” I saw that tiny smile tug at the corner of his mouth again. 

“Nah, I’m just teasin’. A shrink suits ya,” he said. I took it as his way of saying I was a good listener and easy to talk to, which brought a little smile to my face and put that warm sensation back in my chest.

“So still a doctor, just a different kind?”

“Guess so.”


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4 months ago

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Fourteen

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing (there's swearing in every chapter ok), description of nightmares, description of violence (description of a walker attacking someone), mention of scars

Word count: 2.7k

Daryl and I kept our conversation going on the ride back to Alexandria, but my mind was definitely in other places. I loved talking with Daryl, and being in his presence, but damn if this man didn’t make me nervous like a 13-year-old girl talking to her middle school crush. He was easy to talk to, and despite his usual frosty and callous attitude towards others, there was a welcoming and safe energy about him, one that I didn’t find anyone else talking about. When we had conversations, he was attentive, seemed interested, asked follow-up questions & remembered the things I said. He was a self-proclaimed tough guy, but the Daryl that I got to see, when it was just the two of us, dare I say, was a bit of a softie.

After a little while, I was starting to recognize the area and figured we must’ve been getting close to Alexandria, which my ravenous stomach was thankful for.

“Can I ask ya a question?” Daryl asked, “if ya don’t wanna answer, it’s fine.”

“Uh, sure,” I answered nervously, wondering where he possibly could’ve been going with this, especially considering this was the first time he’d prefaced asking me a question by asking if he could.

“Ya said ya’d been havin’ nightmares for some time,” he said. My stomach began to lightly churn at the thought of the different directions in which he could take this. “Ya had ‘em a long time?”

“Uh, no. They only started after the world went to shit,” I explained. I wiggled my toes in an attempt to keep myself calm.

“They always been the same?” Daryl asked. I shook my head.

“So they used to be the same thing every night. I would be crossing the stage at a ceremony after getting board-certified. I’d look out at the audience and see my parents and brothers in the front row, looking so proud as their only daughter and sister became an official fully licensed surgeon. Then I look out at the audience again and see a walker coming down the aisle towards my family. He goes up to my mother and attacks her, and she screams, then everyone starts screaming. He bites her in the neck and tears her vocal cords, and when her screaming stops is always when I would wake up.” I twirled a chunk of my ponytail around my finger and chewed at the inside of my lip. “They changed around the time I got here.”

Despite the churning of my stomach, the pounding of my heart, and the sensation of feeling small that overcame me, I felt the desire to keep going. It was like the words were coming out of me whether I wanted them to or not. But there was a sense of safety, which comforted me as the words came out on their own accord. “Now, it’s still mostly just a blur of colors and physical sensations, and some sounds. But each night, the blurs get a little less blurry, the physical sensations feel more real, and the sounds get louder.” I folded my legs and brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees. “And I’m scared for when it becomes crystal clear.”

“Hey,” he said, and I turned my face to look at him. His face had softened a little, his normal stoic expression appearing less rigid than usual, “nothin’ to be scared of. It’s not real.”

Oh, but it was. It was a very real thing that haunted my every move, that I couldn’t even escape in dreamland. Still, I appreciated his attempt to provide me some comfort.

“I know. Sure feels real though. It always takes me a minute after I wake up on the floor to realize I’m awake and was dreaming,” I explained, resting the side of my head on my forearms, keeping my gaze on Daryl. “It’s pretty jarring at times.”

We pulled up to the front gates, and he brought the car to a stop while we waited for the gate to open. He looked over at me, and his face has somehow softened even more than it already had. “I know it’s scary. Don’t worry. It can’t hurt ya.”

“Thanks Daryl,” I said in an attempt to wrap up the conversation before we got back inside the walls. I wished there was a way to explain the gravity & the reality of them without having to actually do so. Something that would help him understand without sharing too much information.

Rosita was practically at my door already by the time I stepped out of the car.

“Hi. Long time no see,” I said, grabbing my backpack and swinging it over my shoulders.

“Hi. I, umm, wanted to see if you guys needed any help,” she offered, looking past my shoulder into the back of the car, “wow, you guys did great. That’s awesome.”

“Couldn’ta done it without the good luck charm,” Daryl said as he popped the trunk open. I restrained myself from allowing the biggest grin to spread across my face. I couldn’t deny that I loved when he called me that. A couple of the guys at the front gate started grabbing food from the trunk to take to our storage area.

“Rosita, you wanna help me get these into the infirmary, then we can talk?” I asked, gesturing to the pile of fake hands and feet, “y’know, about the concern you mentioned to me this morning?” She caught on quickly and nodded.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

It took two trips for Rosita and I to get most of the pieces into the infirmary. For now, we placed them wherever there was room, as I would be spending the rest of my day finding them a permanent home in the infirmary. Back at the car, I took the remaining food out of my backpack and gave it to one of the guys. I grabbed the last several prosthetic pieces and shoved a couple into my bag, another couple under my arm.

“Daryl, do you want our help with the rest?” Rosita asked as she grabbed the last few prosthetics from me.

“Nah, go on, do what you gotta” he said, then turned to me, “I’ll be over when I’m done.” I gave him a smile and a nod, and I led Rosita over to the infirmary. After a minute, she looked back over her shoulder, determining that we were safely out of earshot, and she could ask questions.

“Be over for what?” 

“I mentioned that I was looking forward to eating once we got back, since I didn’t eat before we left this morning, so he offered to make us food. I’m guessing that means he’d bring it over to me once it was done,” I told her. Her face lit up, and I knew this was only the beginning of the incessant questions and teasing that were to come.

“He’s making you food?” she gushed. I gave her a look that screamed for her to lower her voice.

“Shut up,” I whispered, whacking her in the arm with the back of my hand.

“What was the comment about a good luck charm?” she asked. This time, I let a big stupid grin spread across my face.

“Oh, it was a joke I made on our first run. About me being a good luck charm and that’s why we got so lucky with what we found,” I explained, “it was one of my first attempts at being flirty.”

“And he remembered it!?” I whacked her with the back of my hand again.

“Rosita please, keep your voice down,” I begged as I opened the door to the infirmary for her, “it carries.”

She all but threw the last of the prosthetics in her arms onto a counter and sat herself on an exam table, kicking her feet back and forth in excitement. I sat myself in the chair I typically utilized and wheeled over towards the table.

“You look really happy,” Rosita said, giving me a gentle kick in the knee, “tell me everything.”

I recollected the events of our run, from the moment he gave me my coffee this morning to coming back in through the walls just now, including almost every detail. I left out specifics about the things Daryl shared with me in case they were things he didn’t want others to know. Plus, it wasn’t my place to share them. I also left out the details of the conversation on our ride back here.

"And then he stopped the car, Rosita. He stopped the car!" I practically shouted, catching myself when I realized how loud my volume was. I was referencing when I was first trying to get Daryl to let me ask him questions about himself.

I was giggling like a teenage girl talking about her crush in the bathroom with one of her friends. Here I was, at my grown age of 32, blushing and kicking my feet as I told the story. I mostly stared down at the floor to conceal just how red I was. I stopped trying to contain my grins and giddiness and just let them happen.

After I finished my story, she looked at me with the biggest, jaw-drop smile I’d ever seen.

"Oh my god, Daryl’s totally into you! He has to be, he never acts like that!” she squealed. She jumped off the table briefly to give me a giant congratulatory hug. “It sounds like he was even a little bit flirty as well. You're putting stars in his eyes, girly.”

“I don’t know what’s going on with me,” I said as I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest, “Daryl’s not my usual type. I typically go for lanky musicians covered head-to-toe in tattoos who wear makeup. Guys who know how to finger a guitar...and that’s about it.”

“Vector!” Rosita laughed, her jaw on the floor at my rather lewd joke.

“I’m serious. I’ve never been this…enamored by a man before, especially one that makes me so nervous. I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m usually very confident when it comes to approaching men I’m into. Maybe a little forward if I’m being honest. He’s easy to talk to, which makes me less nervous, but still.” I spun myself gently around in my chair, scratching my index finger on the side of my thumb.

“I mean, you said it yourself. You’re used to approaching a certain type of man, one that’s very different from Daryl. I guess keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Whatever it is seems to be working,” she said.

“I guess. But we’re still really getting to know each other. What if…what if he learns something he doesn’t like?”

She huffed at me. “Please. What is there not to like about you?”

I discreetly rubbed my rope scars under my sleeve and swallowed to keep the churning of my stomach at bay. “I don’t know, I just…I really like him. I don’t wanna fuck it up.” She reached out and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

“You’ll be fine. Just take it slow, and…let whatever happens happen. I have a good feeling about this.”

“Promise me you won’t talk to anyone else about it unless you’re indoors. Carol now knows because she overheard Maggie and Glenn talking about it last week,” I said, and she chuckled a little. “I still need to talk to them about that. Tell ‘em to square up.”

“I won’t, I promise. I can tell Maggie to come by, if you want. I’ll tell her to square up,” Rosita offered, eliciting a giggle from me.

“That’d be great. Thank you.” I grimaced as I looked around at the prosthetics that were now strung out everywhere. "Wanna keep me company while I deal with this? Probably gonna be in here a while.” She sighed as she hopped up off the exam table.

“I should get back to the garden. Plus, your man should be here anytime now. Maybe he can keep you company,” she teased, winking at me. I rolled my eyes so hard, I could see my brain.

“Shut up,” I laughed as Rosita made her way to the door, “oh and don’t tell Aaron about any of this. It’s a surprise for when he’s healed.”

I spent the next hour or so sat on the floor, sorting the limbs into different piles and measured them to figure out their different sizes as best I could. I used sticky notes to label them accordingly. Rosita’s words kept playing over and over in my head as I worked.

Daryl’s totally into you! He has to be, he never acts like that! It sounds like he was even a little bit flirty as well. You're putting stars in his eyes, girly. You’ll be fine. Just take it slow, and…let whatever happens happen. I have a good feeling about this.

I didn’t know what scared me more—the possibility that he could not be interested in me and I’m just reading into everything too much, or the possibility that he is interested in me. Because if he was, there would be things he would have to learn. Things I intended to take to my grave. Things that very well could scare him away.

A knock and then opening of the infirmary door sucked me out of my spiraling thoughts. I looked up over an exam table to see Daryl, carrying a plate with steam coming off of it and some silverware. I couldn’t see it, but whatever it was smelled incredible. Though at this point, I was so hungry that just about anything sounded incredible.

“Hey, be careful, there’s body parts everywhere,” I called out. I pushed one of the piles near me out of the way to clear a path for him.

“Sorry it took so long. Took a while to find a pasta that wasn’t spaghetti,” he said. He squatted down next to me and handed me the warm plate and silverware. “Didn’t wanna make ya sick.” The plate was piled with penne pasta, tomato sauce, and some kind of meat, which I guessed was likely venison. The fact that he went out of his way to find a different pasta shape for me was heartwarming. I could feel myself blushing, just a teeny tiny bit, hopefully so teeny tiny that it wasn’t noticeable to him.

“Do not apologize. The fact that you did this is more than enough. Thank you.” I reached up and set the plate on the exam table and leaned back against the wall. “Do you wanna keep me company while I sort through all this?” I asked, gesturing to the piles of fake limbs scattered across the floor.

“Got watch or I’d say yes” he said, “take a rain check?”

“Yeah. Definitely.” I gave him a warm smile as he rose to his feet and started to leave. I got up into my chair so I could take a break to eat. “Hey Daryl?” He turned back to me, his crossbow swaying against his back and tapping the door. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“No, not just…not just for this.”

“For what?”

“For letting me get to know you a bit…listening to me yap on…for caring,” I said, looking up to meet his eyes. Even though he was several feet away, and strands of his gorgeous chocolate hair hung in his face, I could feel that our eyes were locked, and I gave him another warm smile. “You’re a good man.”

“Ya ain’t so bad yourself, sunshine,” Daryl said. I felt my knees give out when he called me sunshine. If I wasn’t sitting, I would’ve crumbled to the floor. I could listen to him call me that all day.

“See you tonight,” I said, and with a nod, he was out the door. I heard him say something to someone, and then in came Maggie. As the door closed behind Daryl, she gave me a look that was begging for more information, probably both about why she was being summoned to see me and what Daryl was doing in here.

“What’s going on in here? Also Rosita said you wanted to “square up?”” she said. I laughed and pointed to the chair opposite me.

“Sit. You and I need to have a chat.”

Taglist: @raddydaddydude


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4 months ago

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Fifteen

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, discussion of past suicide, discussion of parent death (suicide, house fire), mention of scars (Daryl's), medical procedure (stitches), blood, allusion to child abuse (Daryl's), men being creepy, reference to sibling death, we got some big emotions in this one

Word count: 3.3k

Daryl and I began to get much closer after that second run. Eating dinner together became sort of a ritual of ours, other than the nights Daryl had duty in the watchtower. At first, it was him in the chair and me on the far end of the couch as I didn’t want to spook him. He never explicitly said it, but I got the vibe that he wasn’t big on physical touch. He always maintained at least a few feet distance between us, never getting too close. Eventually, I tested the waters and sat on the end of the couch closer to him, and that’d been our dinner arrangement ever since. Over the next few weeks, Rick had us go out on more runs. It was strange to me that I always heard about them from Daryl and never from Rick. I didn’t want to do anything that could get me in trouble, like leaving the sanctity of the walls when I wasn’t supposed to, but I was simply following instructions that I was told came from our fearless cowboy leader.

I joined Daryl once when he was working on his bike, and he showed me some stuff about it. Though he was so beautiful that day, I’ll admit, it was hard for me to keep focus. He was wearing one of his classic button-ups with the sleeves cut off, that angel-wing vest he loved so much, and a pair of ripped jeans that hugged his body just right. It was warm, so he was sweating buckets. I was practically drooling as I watched his arm muscles flex and relax as he worked. The way he glistened with sweat, the little hints of joy I heard in his voice as he talked to me about his motorcycle, his gorgeous accent…he was mesmerizing.

He still came and checked on me every night after I fell out of bed, another ritual of ours I suppose. It had evolved to a point where I would stay lying on the floor and give a thumbs up over the side of the bed when I heard the door open, then he’d leave. We’d sometimes spend mornings together, but usually one of us was always up and out before the other was awake, or if Daryl had overnight watch, he’d be just going to sleep when I got up. Typically, the one who got up first made coffee and left the rest out for the other. Sometimes, if he was coming back from an overnight watch, I’d wake up and go downstairs to find the pot just finishing up brewing.

It was obvious one of Daryl’s love languages was acts of service. He didn’t so much have a way with words, but damn he was good at showing how much he cared. Not just towards me, but the way he cared about the whole of Alexandria. He was always volunteering to go on watch, runs, hunts, you name it. He cared so much about the people here and would do whatever he needed to do to make sure we were all safe and protected. And that only made me fall for him even harder.

Though he typically wasn’t one for expressing his emotions with words, there was one morning when he left me a note. I came downstairs, and he was already out as he had gate duty all day. He had poured me coffee in a white mug with daisies on it that I once casually mentioned was my favorite mug of the ones in the cabinet, and there was a short but sweet note with it.

Have the best day

See you at dinner

I kept the note folded up in the back of my notebook where I kept some photos and a note from my brother.

Today, Daryl was teaching me how to hunt. Well, it was the start of that process. First, there was target practice. And I was getting to pick up and shoot that infamous crossbow.

Daryl had carved an X for a target on a tree, and my goal was to hit as dead center as I could. I knelt on one knee behind a fallen tree, which I was instructed to use to steady the crossbow and practice that way first. I could throw a knife over my shoulder and hit a walker square in the forehead. How hard could a crossbow be?

“Does this thing have recoil?” I asked as he handed it to me, “wow, it’s lighter than I thought it’d be.” I flipped the bow around and examined it, running my fingers over its smooth surface but was careful to make sure I didn’t touch anything that looked like a lever or a button. Didn’t wanna go causing any accidents right out the gate.

“Hardly any,” Daryl said, kneeling next to me. We were almost shoulder-to-shoulder. This was the closest we’d ever been, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach breaking free and trying to crawl their way up my throat.

“You ever kill anyone with this thing?” I asked.

“Yeah. Sometimes, people are more dangerous than them walkers,” he explained, and I nodded. I was all too familiar with the dangers of other human beings during the end of the world.

“I know what you mean,” I replied. I rested the bow on the fallen tree and kept my gaze on the X carved into the tree in front of me. “I’ve never killed anyone. I don’t know if I could. It goes against the oath I took.”

"Hate to burst your bubble, but that don't matter no more."

“I guess not,” I shrugged, “but enough of that, let’s get to practicing.”

“‘lax your shoulders,” he said, gently placing his hands on both of my shoulders and lightly pressing to help me relax them. This was the first time he’d touched me on purpose. My stomach dropped like I was on a rollercoaster. “Geez, you’re tense woman.”

I wouldn’t be so tense if you didn’t make me so nervous, I thought. I propped the crossbow up onto my shoulder like I’d seen Daryl do a thousand times.

“It’s no good if ya don’t load it,” he said. He picked a bolt off of the front of it and reached around me to load it. His arm rested against my back as he strapped the bolt in. It was like he was testing the boundaries of physical closeness, though I didn’t know whether it was mine or his that he was testing. But I didn’t mind one bit. I steadied the bow on my shoulder and the fallen tree, aiming it at my target.

“Ya really gotta relax,” Daryl said, “can’t have this gettin’ in the way neither.” He took the end of my ponytail and draped my hair over my opposite shoulder, “damn, ya hair’s real soft.” I felt myself melting into a puddle, and my hands started to shake a bit as my heart rate picked up.

“Thank you. I grew it all by myself,” I laughed.

“How long'd it take ya to grow it out?”

“Oh God, I think the last time I got a drastic haircut was when I was like 13,”  I explained, “sometimes I think about chopping it all off because it gets in my way so much. And it feels like it weighs 20 pounds when it’s wet.”

“Ya should keep it long. Looks good.” I smiled and looked down at the ground, trying to hide that I was obviously turning red.

“Thanks,” I said. I took a deep breath and tried to steady myself again.

“Hey, you’re shakin’,” Daryl said, placing a hand on my shoulder in an effort to help me relax, “just take a breath. You’re good.” His voice was soft, soothing, and calming. Still laced with his gravely accent, but there was genuine caring and compassion behind his words.

“Nervous jitters I guess,” I said, taking another deep breath in through my nose. I lied straight through my teeth.

“Alright, look through the scope and aim it at the target,” he said. He kept his hand on my shoulder.

“Looks easy enough,” I said, perhaps a little too confidently as I did as he instructed.

“Once ya got it lined up, ya just pull the lever on the bottom,” Daryl explained, “helps if ya breathe out when ya do it.” I took a deep breath and fired, exhaling like he told me to. The bolt went flying right past the tree, not even grazing it. It landed far off in the grass somewhere I couldn’t see.

“I stand corrected on it looking easy,” I said, feeling horrifically embarrassed, “I missed the tree completely. How did I even do that?”

“It happens. Gotta get used to holdin’ it still. C’mon, I’ll show ya how to load it.” He gestured for me to hand his bow to him.

“At this point, I’ll just be happy to hit the tree at all,” I said, giggling a little to try to make myself feel better.

That’s how we spent the next couple of hours. Me attempting to hit the tree, somehow missing it completely or just grazing it, which was starting to feel like a win, and trying to find the bolts in the grass. He never seemed to get impatient or frustrated with me, even when I was starting to get frustrated with myself. He reassured me, helped me set up and reload, and tried to help me feel more confident.

After what felt like an eternity, I finally did it. I hit the very outskirts of the giant X target, but I hit it nonetheless. I about jumped into the air with how excited I was.

“Oh my God, I did it!” I cheered, nearly dropping the crossbow to the ground in surprise. A gigantic grin spread across my face as I looked at Daryl. “I did it!”

“Knew ya could do it,” he congratulated. He had reached out and was stroking the back of my arm with his fingers. His touch was so light, it felt like being tickled with a feather. I could feel goosebumps forming, but thankfully, my sleeve hid them. “Think that’s the first time I seen ya do that too.”

I looked at him with a puzzled expression. “Seen me do what?”

“Smile like that.” It occurred to me that he was referring to the fact that I was smiling with my teeth out. And he was right—this was the first time I’d smiled like that in months.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

That evening, I found myself working late in the infirmary. A couple of the kids had gotten into a fight, and while their injuries weren’t too bad, they still required attention. A couple of scraped knees and small cuts later, I was supposed to be going home for the evening, but as I was getting ready to leave, the infirmary door swung open one last time, and in came Daryl. He’d been covering gate duty for a couple of hours, and I figured he must’ve seen the infirmary light on and came to check on me.

“Hey, there’s my little Georgia peach,” I said, giving him a big smile. He looked at me with a solemn face, which concerned me a little. “Daryl…are you ok?” He didn’t say anything at first. He simply kept eye contact with me as he stepped closer.

“I, uh, need your help with somethin’,” he said. He took his bow off of his back and turned around. There was a sizable gash across his mid-back, his clothes stained with dried blood.

“Jesus, get your ass up here,” I ordered, gesturing to the exam table. I started grabbing things like gloves and antiseptic. “What the hell happened?”

“Couple of ‘em pricks was talkin’ ‘bout ya,” he said as he sat down on the table and scooted back to the edge. I froze and swallowed hard. I hadn’t really gotten to know any of the men who typically had gate duty, and the only times I saw them were when I was coming and going through the gate, and I was always with Daryl.

“You got this defending me? Jesus, I’m so sorry. I feel awful.” I continued grabbing everything I would need, like cotton pads, medical tape, tools for stitches, and antibiotics.

“Nah, jackasses had it comin’.”

“What did you do to them?”

“Roughed ‘em up a bit. Let ‘em know not to say nothin’ like that ‘gain,” Daryl explained.

“Do I wanna know what they were saying about me?”

“Probably not. Bein’ a buncha creeps.” The never-ending list of things they could’ve been saying swirled through my mind, and I felt sick. I suppressed the nausea that quickly made its home in my stomach.

“Great. Just when I was starting to feel safe here,” I sighed. I thought I’d finally found a place away from the prying eyes of creepy men, but unfortunately, I was wrong.

Daryl looked back over his shoulder at me with kind eyes. “Don’t worry. I won’t let ‘em give ya any trouble.” I gave him a smile and a nod.

“Alright, I need you to take your shirt off. Then I’m gonna clean it and stitch it up. I’ll talk you through each step so you know what to expect since you can’t see it,” I explained. I slipped my gloves on after washing my hands thoroughly and scooted a stool over with my foot so I would sit higher up. Daryl fidgeted a little on the table, and he seemed nervous. I could tell he was in pain from his injury, but something else seemed to be bothering him.

“If you’re not comfortable taking your shirt off, that’s ok. I just need you to lift it enough so I can work,” I said, “don’t wanna go stitching your shirt to your back.” To my surprise, he lifted his shirt up and off over his head, letting it slide down his arms into his lap.

When he did, I understood why I’d never seen Daryl shirtless before.

There were scars all across his back. Not the kind of scars you’d get from being in a motorcycle or car accident, or burn scars, or from taking a really bad tumble as a kid. No, these scars were intentionally inflicted by another person. My heart shattered, but I kept my composure.

How could someone do something so awful to someone so good?

I made sure to utilize my calming bedside manner voice. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about. I have seen anything you can possibly imagine. Plus, I have scars of my own. I know better than to ask about anyone else's."

I grabbed a cloth soaked with some warm water so I could clean up some of the dried blood, and I gently started rubbing it on his back. “I’m gonna try to get as much of this dried blood off as I can.” He tensed a little bit under my touch, so I tried my best to be even lighter, but I could only press so lightly while still getting the blood off. I decided to clean just enough around the wound to make the process quicker, and he could take care of the rest when he showered.

“Alright, I have to clean it now so it won’t get infected. I won’t lie, this is going to sting a little. But I’m just taking a cotton pad with some antiseptic and patting around it,” I explained. I started patting his wound with the cotton pad, and he flinched just a tiny bit. I placed my other hand on his arm and stroked it gently with my thumb. “Hey, you’re ok. You’re doing great.” As I stroked his arm, I felt him start to relax.

My heart was breaking for him. The sensation of the antiseptic in his open wound must’ve felt similar to whatever created the scars on his back. I tried to think of something to talk about to distract him.

“I like your tattoo, Daryl,” I said, “does it mean anything?”

“Jus’ thought it looked cool,” he replied.

“I actually have a few tattoos of my own,” I told him, “I know, there’s something you didn’t know about me. I have a sternum piece with flowers on it, bumblebees on the back of each of my thighs, and a bouquet of daisies on the front of my right hip. I liked the idea of having tattoos that only certain people get to see. People that I get to choose." I hoped that, maybe one day, I’d get to show Daryl my tattoos. I set the cotton pad on the table next to him. “I’m done cleaning it now. Could you straighten up for me? I’m gonna stitch it up now. It’ll probably hurt a little, but it won’t burn like the antiseptic did.”

"They mean anythin'?" he asked as he sat up straight.

"I really like sternum pieces, so that's why I got that one. Daisies are my favorite flower, and the bumblebees are for my mom.” I got to work stitching him up as I talked. “Gardening was her favorite hobby, and we had a huge one in our backyard growing up. She taught my brothers and I about the different kinds of pollinators and how important they were. Bumblebees were her favorite. I got them a couple of years after she passed.”

“Lost my mom too,” Daryl said. It was the first time he’d mentioned his mom in any capacity. “What happened to her? If you’re ok talkin’ ‘bout it.”

“She umm…she killed herself a couple of months after Preston died. Hung herself in his closet. My dad was the one that found her.” I blinked back some tears. Stitching up someone’s wound was not the time to be crying. “Her mental health really declined after his passing. I mean, all of ours did, but hers was the worst. She couldn't stand losing one of her children, so she left the other three behind. At least that's what it felt like. The anger stage of my grief lasted a very, very long time.”

There was a heaviness that hung in the air as I finished stitching his wound. It felt suffocating, like it was a heavy weight pressing on my chest. I lowered the volume of my voice a little to keep myself from crying. “Alright, I’ve just gotta wrap it up and you’re done.”

“Mine was a house fire,” he started to explain, and as he talked, I continued wrapping his wound, using as gentle of a touch as I could and offering small comforting pats and strokes in between. I felt his muscles continue to relax into my hands as I worked. “I was a kid. Ran home after we saw fire trucks comin’ down the street. Finally caught up to the other kids and saw it was my house. Mom was inside. Some combo of her wine ’n smokes. Didn’t feel real for a long time.” Before I finished patching him up, I ran my hands over the back of his arms and offered small squeezes, like tiny hugs from my fingers. This was by far the most vulnerable he’d been around me, and I wanted to make sure he felt safe, seen, and comforted.

“I’m so sorry Daryl. You didn’t deserve for that to happen.”

"Didn’t deserve yours neither.” I ran my fingers over and flattened out the last piece of medical tape.

“There we go, you’re all patched up now,” I said, grabbing a small bottle of antibiotics and handing it to him. “you’ll have to change the dressing every day. I can help you with that. And you’ll have to take those for like a week. Make sure you stay on top of that.”

“Do I gotta? Didn’t think it was that bad,” he said, flipping the little orange bottle around in his hand.

I sat myself up on the exam table next to him, “Daryl, what kind of doctor would I be if I let you get an infection?”

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Fifteen

Taglist: @raddydaddydude

Divider was found on Google via searching for stock images


Tags :
4 months ago
Rick: Vec, You Need To Apologize To Spencer.

Rick: Vec, you need to apologize to Spencer.

Vec: Ugh, fine

Vec: *folds arms over her chest, locks eyes with Spencer, smirks*

Vec: I’m sorry you’re such a piece of shit.

Daryl: *suppresses a chuckle*

Daryl: *whispers* Yep, that’s mah woman.

Rick: *sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose*

Rick: Not like that…

Rick: Vec, You Need To Apologize To Spencer.

Taglist: @raddydaddydude

Vec is my OC, she belongs to me

Divider was found on Google via searching for stock images


Tags :
4 months ago

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Sixteen

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, discussion of past suicide, discussion of sibling death, discussion of parent death, mention of depression, mention of medical procedures, men being creepy, description of nightmares (being tied up, being held at gunpoint, allusion to rape), PTSD, panic attacks

Word count: 2.8k

Though it was already getting late when he came in, Daryl and I sat on that infirmary table and talked for a long time. I talked more about my mom, and he started slowly opening up about the things he and Merle got into before the world fell. There were a lot of drugs and drinking from what I was able to gather, but he was a bit conservative with the details. I didn’t mind that at all. Just the fact that he was willing to even lightly approach the more vulnerable subjects meant a lot to me. It made me feel like he felt I was a safe person to talk to, to be open with, and it made me happy that I could do that for him.

“My mom, she always saw the good in everyone. Both of my parents really, but her in particular. She was so caring, giving, always wanting to do the absolute most she could for the people she cared about,” I explained.

“Guess that’s where ya get it from,” Daryl replied, eliciting a small, flattered smile from me.

“That’s why watching her spiral after Preston died was even harder to watch. For two months, she sank deeper and deeper into this bottomless pit of depression. My dad, Jay, Eli, and I did everything we could to try to help her. Mind you, Jay and Eli had been deployed in the middle of all of this, and I was still in med school, so we tried our hardest with everything else we had going on. And then she just…couldn’t take it anymore.”

I could feel myself getting emotional, and I tried my best to turn it off. I blinked back some tears, and tiny droplets flew off my lashes onto the lenses of my glasses. “She tried her best to be the best example she could for my brothers and I. She told me that when she was growing up, she’d always say that if she ever had kids, she would do everything she could to make sure we made the world a better place. I didn’t learn that until I was older and had already decided I wanted to be a doctor, but it helped reaffirm for me that going to med school was the right decision.”

“She’d be proud of ya,” he said, his tone a little softer now. I had to do everything in my power to stop myself from turning into a blubbering, sobbing mess right then and there. He reached out and stroked the back of my arm with his fingers, just like he had done earlier during target practice. “Speakin’ of med school, don’t think I ever asked ya what your favorite part ‘bout bein’ a doctor is.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite, but what I find most fulfilling is when people come in, alive but unconscious or barely conscious, and they don’t think they’re going to make it. They may have already started making peace with the fact that they were likely going to die. And then hours or days later, they awaken & I get to be there to greet them and tell them that they made it. They almost always start crying, and their family might come in, and pretty soon it’s just a room full of people sobbing. They thank me over and over, sometimes followed by a story about how now they’ll be around to see their child get married or their grandchild graduate.” I took my glasses off and set them beside me on the table, using the back of my hands to wipe the tears off my cheeks. “I do what I need to do quickly so that I can give them their time together and also try not to start crying myself. I also find doing skin grafts really fulfilling because it can help people who’ve had really bad injuries or burns feel semi-normal again. The world is cruel towards people who don’t look “perfect,” so if I can help someone feel a bit more confident in themselves after an accident, that makes me happy.”

Daryl leaned over and grabbed a tissue box off of the counter, handing it to me. “Could ya show me some stuff ‘bout skin grafts?”

I pulled a few of the tissues out and dabbed at my eyes with them. “Umm, sure. Yeah, I can teach you about them. Why?"

"I like learnin’ ‘bout the things ya interested in. I may not understand it, but if it's important to ya, it's important to me." That warming sensation returned to my chest, this time so intense that I thought it might burst through my ribcage. Thankfully I was sitting because I felt my knees weaken, and a big, stupid grin spread across my face as I stared down at my feet swinging back and forth. That was exactly what I had said to him when I asked him to teach me things about his bike.

“Yeah, I can teach you some stuff,” I said, “whenever you want works for me.”

“Later ‘cause ya lookin’ real tired,” Daryl said, hopping off of the exam table and gathering his bow off the floor.

“Hey Daryl?” I said, and he turned his body to face me. I slid myself off the exam table as well. “There’s been a lot of…heavy emotions in here tonight. I just wanna make sure you’re ok.”

“‘ll be alright,” he replied. I took my tissues off the table and tossed them into the nearby trash can. “What about you?”

“Me too. I’ll be ok,” I said as we walked towards the door together, “and thank you for being vulnerable with me. I appreciate it. I hope…I hope you don’t regret it.”

“Nah, don’t got regrets with tellin’ ya things,” Daryl said. He opened the door and held it for me. I flipped the light switch off, and I was grateful for the darkness of night that now concealed my blushing face. He let the door swing shut behind him.

As we reached the path, the guys that were on gate duty with Daryl were walking by, heading home after their shift change. One of them walked by without so much as a glance in our direction. The other two walked by slowly, the looks on their faces ones I knew all too well. Every woman under the sun knew that look—being ogled, them undressing you with their eyes, thinking about the things they wanted to do to you. It made me nauseous. I took a step back, and Daryl held an arm out in front of me as if to let them know that if they wanted to approach me, they’d have to go through him.

I wondered which one of them was responsible for Daryl’s injury. If I ever found out, there would be hell to pay.

We watched them in silence until they were down the path and approaching their homes. Only then did Daryl move his arm out from in front of me.

“I don’t like the way they were looking at me,” I said as we continued home.

“Me neither,” Daryl agreed, “don’t worry though. They know not to say nothin’ to ya. Let me know if they do. Rough ‘em more if I gotta.”

“Thanks Daryl,” I replied as we went inside.

I kicked my boots off and yawned, stretching my arms out over my head. “I think I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m sure it’s late.” I hadn’t eaten since lunch, but the exhaustion I was feeling from my busy day was overshadowing my grumbling stomach.

Daryl sauntered into the kitchen and pulled a pot out from one of the cabinets. “I’ll save some food for ya.”

“Thank you,” I replied. I turned and started to make my way towards the stairs to go to my room, but stopped and turned back around. “Goodnight my little Georgia peach.” I’d started calling him that a couple of weeks ago, only in private, and even though he almost always scoffed at me when I did, I knew he didn’t hate it. He might’ve even liked it a little.

“‘Night short stuff,” he said. He’d taken to calling me “short stuff” because of my reactions to being called “tiny.” I knew he was only teasing when he called me “short stuff” or “tiny,” but I would be lying if I said I didn’t absolutely love it when he called me by one of his nicknames for me.

What Daryl and I had had definitely evolved beyond just a friendship. It was more of a…flirtationship, if you will.

At this point, I’d been at Alexandria for a month and a half or so. And the night that I’d been dreading for weeks finally came—the night that the horrible nightmare I’d been having became crystal clear.

Every sound, every touch, every sight was as clear as could be. It was like I’d been sucked back in time and was right back in that moment again.

I felt the cold barn floor underneath me and his crushing weight on top of me. I felt my hands tied above my head and the rope digging into my skin as I writhed around. I could hear his heavy breathing and the gun scrape against my teeth as it was forced into my mouth. I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks as I realized what was happening. And I could see his face—his evil, smug fucking face no less than two inches from mine.

In my head, the scream I let out could’ve shattered glass.

I awoke on the floor, running my hands all over my body in a panicked state. It took several moments for me to realize I was awake, back on my bedroom floor in Alexandria, like I always was. I hadn’t felt fear like that since the incident itself. The adrenaline that was coursing through my veins was the only thing that kept me upright.

I curled up into a ball against the bed, sobbing hysterically into my knees. My tears felt scalding, burning my skin as they slid down off of my cheeks. I was so wrapped up in my fear that I didn’t think about how Daryl would be coming in at any moment, just like he always did. Nor did I hear the door open when he finally did.

I heard his familiar footsteps move from the door around the bed over to me. He knelt, then sat down next to me. I didn’t look up at him, I couldn’t. I felt so ashamed, both for how my nightmare made me feel and for Daryl having to see me like this. Sure, he’d seen me cry on a few occasions, but none of those times were like this. None were this intense, this visceral, this raw.

“Hey, are ya ok? Ya get hurt?” Daryl asked, his tone velvety soft and a level of concern in his voice I’d never heard before. I didn’t know what to say or do. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to curl up into the tiniest ball possible and disappear. Even if I had anything to say, I couldn’t find my voice.

When I didn’t say a word or move an inch, he scooted himself a little closer to me until his knee was against my leg. He placed a hand on my back, rubbing it up and down between my waist and my shoulders.

“Vec, what happened?” he asked, more worry in his voice than before, “talk to me.”

I practically lunged at him as I fell forward and wrapped my arms around him. It was like I didn’t have control over my body. I needed something familiar, something safe. More so someone familiar, someone safe. And he was right there. My body was reaching for him whether I wanted it to or not.

“It was so real,” I choked out between sobs, “it was so clear.” His strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me even closer to him until my head was resting in the crook of his neck, my heaving chest pressed to his. And he held me there as I continued to sob.

He was warm, like a heater, and his embrace around me was strong, but there was so much care and tenderness behind it. Even though the intense fear was still plaguing my nervous system, I felt safe wrapped up in his arms. He rubbed one hand up and down my back again.

“You’re ok. You’re safe. It can’t hurt ya,” he reassured.

It was a long time before either of us said anything. After a time, he moved his hand that was rubbing up and down my back to the back of my head and stroked my hair. He held me while I cried, and at one point, he started gently rocking me back and forth. I only continued to feel more ashamed, my face getting hot from embarrassment. I felt like such a baby.

“It was like I was right back in that moment.”

I immediately regretted what I had said. If someone said that to me when referencing a nightmare they had, I would assume that this nightmare was them reliving a horrific experience. And knowing that Daryl listened to every single word that came out of my mouth, he now knew that this, in fact, was real. That I dreamt of a real-life horror story night after night.

“You’re not there. You’re here,” Daryl said as he continued to stroke my hair. He handled me like glass, like he thought I might break if he was even just a little too heavy-handed.

“I could see, hear, feel everything.” I sobbed harder. I felt disgusting, vile, like a thousand showers in bleach couldn’t even scrub away the feeling of disgust I experienced.

Daryl stopped rocking me and moved his hand back to my back. “I know that’s scary. But you’re here now, and I got ya.” He somehow pulled me even closer to him, which I didn’t think was possible.

“I just want the pain to stop.”

“I know.” He didn’t know. He had no idea what I was talking about. But I know he knew how it felt to carry the pain of a traumatic incident and wanting that pain to go away.

My sobbing didn’t let up for a long time. When it started to, it was very gradual. Daryl held onto me the whole time, giving me reminders now and then that I was ok, he was there, and I was safe. After a long, long time, my crying had almost stopped, and I picked my head up off of Daryl’s shoulder. The crook of his neck and the shoulder of his shirt were soaked.

“I’m sorry I got your shirt wet,” I said. It felt like a silly thing to say, but I felt terrible.

“Nah, ’s not important.” He pressed tenderly on my shoulders, ushering me to lift my head out in front of him. For the first time in what felt like the hours we’d been sitting here, I met his gaze. My eyes were puffy, I didn’t need to see them to know that. I’m sure they were red too. I hated that he had to see me like this. “How ya feelin’?”

“Like shit,” I said, “I’m too scared to go back to sleep.” When I would fall out of bed after my initial nightmare, the nightmare never continued once I fell back asleep. That wasn’t what I was worried about.

What I was worried about was seeing that stupid, smug face every time I closed my eyes.

“You can go back to bed,” I said, resting my head back in the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry I kept you up for so long.”

“’s no trouble. C’mon, I’ll stay with ya ’til ya fall asleep,” Daryl said. He got up and stood over me, reaching his arms out for me to grab his hands. He pulled me up, and I was barely on my feet for a second before I fell back into the bed. My whole body felt weak, like my muscles were made of jello.

“Are you sure? I’ve already kept you up for long enough.” Daryl came around to the other side of the bed and sat down, scooting back until he was resting against the headboard. I used what small amount of energy I had left to move until I was laid down, rolling onto my side to face him and pulling my blanket up to my chin.

“I’m sure.” He extended his hand out, resting it next to me, palm up. I reached out and placed my hand in his, and he gently stroked my fingers with his thumb. I’m sure the moment would’ve felt more magical if I didn’t feel like such garbage.

“I’m so sorry, Daryl. I feel like such a burden.”

“Ya ain’t a burden, sunshine. Ya never are.”

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Sixteen

Taglist: @raddydaddydude

Divider found on Google via searching for stock images


Tags :
4 months ago

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Sixteen

Masterlist

AO3 link

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist <3 (18+ only, MDNI)

Story is 18+ for mature content/themes, minors do not interact please

TW/CWs for this story--implied/referenced past rape, canonical violence, non-canonical violence, blood, gore, referenced past suicide, swearing, surgery, excessive drinking, nightmares, panic attacks, mention of scars, vomiting, amputation, medical procedures, non-con medical procedures, referenced past medical torture, referenced past drugging, attempted sexual assault, panic attacks, mental health struggles, referenced sibling death, referenced parent death, PTSD

Each chapter will have its own TW/CWs listed

This story, Lydia Vector, her family & bestie (c) me, TheVeganDarkElf

TWD & its characters (c) AMC & Robert Kirkman, the writer of the comic series

TW/CWs for this chapter--swearing, discussion of past suicide, discussion of sibling death, discussion of parent death, mention of depression, mention of medical procedures, men being creepy, description of nightmares (being tied up, being held at gunpoint, allusion to rape), PTSD, panic attacks

Word count: 2.8k

Though it was already getting late when he came in, Daryl and I sat on that infirmary table and talked for a long time. I talked more about my mom, and he started slowly opening up about the things he and Merle got into before the world fell. There were a lot of drugs and drinking from what I was able to gather, but he was a bit conservative with the details. I didn’t mind that at all. Just the fact that he was willing to even lightly approach the more vulnerable subjects meant a lot to me. It made me feel like he felt I was a safe person to talk to, to be open with, and it made me happy that I could do that for him.

“My mom, she always saw the good in everyone. Both of my parents really, but her in particular. She was so caring, giving, always wanting to do the absolute most she could for the people she cared about,” I explained.

“Guess that’s where ya get it from,” Daryl replied, eliciting a small, flattered smile from me.

“That’s why watching her spiral after Preston died was even harder to watch. For two months, she sank deeper and deeper into this bottomless pit of depression. My dad, Jay, Eli, and I did everything we could to try to help her. Mind you, Jay and Eli had been deployed in the middle of all of this, and I was still in med school, so we tried our hardest with everything else we had going on. And then she just…couldn’t take it anymore.”

I could feel myself getting emotional, and I tried my best to turn it off. I blinked back some tears, and tiny droplets flew off my lashes onto the lenses of my glasses. “She tried her best to be the best example she could for my brothers and I. She told me that when she was growing up, she’d always say that if she ever had kids, she would do everything she could to make sure we made the world a better place. I didn’t learn that until I was older and had already decided I wanted to be a doctor, but it helped reaffirm for me that going to med school was the right decision.”

“She’d be proud of ya,” he said, his tone a little softer now. I had to do everything in my power to stop myself from turning into a blubbering, sobbing mess right then and there. He reached out and stroked the back of my arm with his fingers, just like he had done earlier during target practice. “Speakin’ of med school, don’t think I ever asked ya what your favorite part ‘bout bein’ a doctor is.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say it’s my favorite, but what I find most fulfilling is when people come in, alive but unconscious or barely conscious, and they don’t think they’re going to make it. They may have already started making peace with the fact that they were likely going to die. And then hours or days later, they awaken & I get to be there to greet them and tell them that they made it. They almost always start crying, and their family might come in, and pretty soon it’s just a room full of people sobbing. They thank me over and over, sometimes followed by a story about how now they’ll be around to see their child get married or their grandchild graduate.” I took my glasses off and set them beside me on the table, using the back of my hands to wipe the tears off my cheeks. “I do what I need to do quickly so that I can give them their time together and also try not to start crying myself. I also find doing skin grafts really fulfilling because it can help people who’ve had really bad injuries or burns feel semi-normal again. The world is cruel towards people who don’t look “perfect,” so if I can help someone feel a bit more confident in themselves after an accident, that makes me happy.”

Daryl leaned over and grabbed a tissue box off of the counter, handing it to me. “Could ya show me some stuff ‘bout skin grafts?”

I pulled a few of the tissues out and dabbed at my eyes with them. “Umm, sure. Yeah, I can teach you about them. Why?"

"I like learnin’ ‘bout the things ya interested in. I may not understand it, but if it's important to ya, it's important to me." That warming sensation returned to my chest, this time so intense that I thought it might burst through my ribcage. Thankfully I was sitting because I felt my knees weaken, and a big, stupid grin spread across my face as I stared down at my feet swinging back and forth. That was exactly what I had said to him when I asked him to teach me things about his bike.

“Yeah, I can teach you some stuff,” I said, “whenever you want works for me.”

“Later ‘cause ya lookin’ real tired,” Daryl said, hopping off of the exam table and gathering his bow off the floor.

“Hey Daryl?” I said, and he turned his body to face me. I slid myself off the exam table as well. “There’s been a lot of…heavy emotions in here tonight. I just wanna make sure you’re ok.”

“‘ll be alright,” he replied. I took my tissues off the table and tossed them into the nearby trash can. “What about you?”

“Me too. I’ll be ok,” I said as we walked towards the door together, “and thank you for being vulnerable with me. I appreciate it. I hope…I hope you don’t regret it.”

“Nah, don’t got regrets with tellin’ ya things,” Daryl said. He opened the door and held it for me. I flipped the light switch off, and I was grateful for the darkness of night that now concealed my blushing face. He let the door swing shut behind him.

As we reached the path, the guys that were on gate duty with Daryl were walking by, heading home after their shift change. One of them walked by without so much as a glance in our direction. The other two walked by slowly, the looks on their faces ones I knew all too well. Every woman under the sun knew that look—being ogled, them undressing you with their eyes, thinking about the things they wanted to do to you. It made me nauseous. I took a step back, and Daryl held an arm out in front of me as if to let them know that if they wanted to approach me, they’d have to go through him.

I wondered which one of them was responsible for Daryl’s injury. If I ever found out, there would be hell to pay.

We watched them in silence until they were down the path and approaching their homes. Only then did Daryl move his arm out from in front of me.

“I don’t like the way they were looking at me,” I said as we continued home.

“Me neither,” Daryl agreed, “don’t worry though. They know not to say nothin’ to ya. Let me know if they do. Rough ‘em more if I gotta.”

“Thanks Daryl,” I replied as we went inside.

I kicked my boots off and yawned, stretching my arms out over my head. “I think I’m gonna go to sleep. I’m sure it’s late.” I hadn’t eaten since lunch, but the exhaustion I was feeling from my busy day was overshadowing my grumbling stomach.

Daryl sauntered into the kitchen and pulled a pot out from one of the cabinets. “I’ll save some food for ya.”

“Thank you,” I replied. I turned and started to make my way towards the stairs to go to my room, but stopped and turned back around. “Goodnight my little Georgia peach.” I’d started calling him that a couple of weeks ago, only in private, and even though he almost always scoffed at me when I did, I knew he didn’t hate it. He might’ve even liked it a little.

“‘Night short stuff,” he said. He’d taken to calling me “short stuff” because of my reactions to being called “tiny.” I knew he was only teasing when he called me “short stuff” or “tiny,” but I would be lying if I said I didn’t absolutely love it when he called me by one of his nicknames for me.

What Daryl and I had had definitely evolved beyond just a friendship. It was more of a…flirtationship, if you will.

At this point, I’d been at Alexandria for a month and a half or so. And the night that I’d been dreading for weeks finally came—the night that the horrible nightmare I’d been having became crystal clear.

Every sound, every touch, every sight was as clear as could be. It was like I’d been sucked back in time and was right back in that moment again.

I felt the cold barn floor underneath me and his crushing weight on top of me. I felt my hands tied above my head and the rope digging into my skin as I writhed around. I could hear his heavy breathing and the gun scrape against my teeth as it was forced into my mouth. I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks as I realized what was happening. And I could see his face—his evil, smug fucking face no less than two inches from mine.

In my head, the scream I let out could’ve shattered glass.

I awoke on the floor, running my hands all over my body in a panicked state. It took several moments for me to realize I was awake, back on my bedroom floor in Alexandria, like I always was. I hadn’t felt fear like that since the incident itself. The adrenaline that was coursing through my veins was the only thing that kept me upright.

I curled up into a ball against the bed, sobbing hysterically into my knees. My tears felt scalding, burning my skin as they slid down off of my cheeks. I was so wrapped up in my fear that I didn’t think about how Daryl would be coming in at any moment, just like he always did. Nor did I hear the door open when he finally did.

I heard his familiar footsteps move from the door around the bed over to me. He knelt, then sat down next to me. I didn’t look up at him, I couldn’t. I felt so ashamed, both for how my nightmare made me feel and for Daryl having to see me like this. Sure, he’d seen me cry on a few occasions, but none of those times were like this. None were this intense, this visceral, this raw.

“Hey, are ya ok? Ya get hurt?” Daryl asked, his tone velvety soft and a level of concern in his voice I’d never heard before. I didn’t know what to say or do. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to curl up into the tiniest ball possible and disappear. Even if I had anything to say, I couldn’t find my voice.

When I didn’t say a word or move an inch, he scooted himself a little closer to me until his knee was against my leg. He placed a hand on my back, rubbing it up and down between my waist and my shoulders.

“Vec, what happened?” he asked, more worry in his voice than before, “talk to me.”

I practically lunged at him as I fell forward and wrapped my arms around him. It was like I didn’t have control over my body. I needed something familiar, something safe. More so someone familiar, someone safe. And he was right there. My body was reaching for him whether I wanted it to or not.

“It was so real,” I choked out between sobs, “it was so clear.” His strong arms wrapped around me and pulled me even closer to him until my head was resting in the crook of his neck, my heaving chest pressed to his. And he held me there as I continued to sob.

He was warm, like a heater, and his embrace around me was strong, but there was so much care and tenderness behind it. Even though the intense fear was still plaguing my nervous system, I felt safe wrapped up in his arms. He rubbed one hand up and down my back again.

“You’re ok. You’re safe. It can’t hurt ya,” he reassured.

It was a long time before either of us said anything. After a time, he moved his hand that was rubbing up and down my back to the back of my head and stroked my hair. He held me while I cried, and at one point, he started gently rocking me back and forth. I only continued to feel more ashamed, my face getting hot from embarrassment. I felt like such a baby.

“It was like I was right back in that moment.”

I immediately regretted what I had said. If someone said that to me when referencing a nightmare they had, I would assume that this nightmare was them reliving a horrific experience. And knowing that Daryl listened to every single word that came out of my mouth, he now knew that this, in fact, was real. That I dreamt of a real-life horror story night after night.

“You’re not there. You’re here,” Daryl said as he continued to stroke my hair. He handled me like glass, like he thought I might break if he was even just a little too heavy-handed.

“I could see, hear, feel everything.” I sobbed harder. I felt disgusting, vile, like a thousand showers in bleach couldn’t even scrub away the feeling of disgust I experienced.

Daryl stopped rocking me and moved his hand back to my back. “I know that’s scary. But you’re here now, and I got ya.” He somehow pulled me even closer to him, which I didn’t think was possible.

“I just want the pain to stop.”

“I know.” He didn’t know. He had no idea what I was talking about. But I know he knew how it felt to carry the pain of a traumatic incident and wanting that pain to go away.

My sobbing didn’t let up for a long time. When it started to, it was very gradual. Daryl held onto me the whole time, giving me reminders now and then that I was ok, he was there, and I was safe. After a long, long time, my crying had almost stopped, and I picked my head up off of Daryl’s shoulder. The crook of his neck and the shoulder of his shirt were soaked.

“I’m sorry I got your shirt wet,” I said. It felt like a silly thing to say, but I felt terrible.

“Nah, ’s not important.” He pressed tenderly on my shoulders, ushering me to lift my head out in front of him. For the first time in what felt like the hours we’d been sitting here, I met his gaze. My eyes were puffy, I didn’t need to see them to know that. I’m sure they were red too. I hated that he had to see me like this. “How ya feelin’?”

“Like shit,” I said, “I’m too scared to go back to sleep.” When I would fall out of bed after my initial nightmare, the nightmare never continued once I fell back asleep. That wasn’t what I was worried about.

What I was worried about was seeing that stupid, smug face every time I closed my eyes.

“You can go back to bed,” I said, resting my head back in the crook of his neck, “I’m sorry I kept you up for so long.”

“’s no trouble. C’mon, I’ll stay with ya ’til ya fall asleep,” Daryl said. He got up and stood over me, reaching his arms out for me to grab his hands. He pulled me up, and I was barely on my feet for a second before I fell back into the bed. My whole body felt weak, like my muscles were made of jello.

“Are you sure? I’ve already kept you up for long enough.” Daryl came around to the other side of the bed and sat down, scooting back until he was resting against the headboard. I used what small amount of energy I had left to move until I was laid down, rolling onto my side to face him and pulling my blanket up to my chin.

“I’m sure.” He extended his hand out, resting it next to me, palm up. I reached out and placed my hand in his, and he gently stroked my fingers with his thumb. I’m sure the moment would’ve felt more magical if I didn’t feel like such garbage.

“I’m so sorry, Daryl. I feel like such a burden.”

“Ya ain’t a burden, sunshine. Ya never are.”

Finding Myself, Finding You: Chapter Sixteen

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