Theology - Tumblr Posts
Obsessed with how 'Jesus of Nazareth' at the time would have been like 'Jesus of Peterborough' it was not a good neighbourhood lmao
I hope heaven has mud
A new heaven and a new earth. A world like a garden. With dew and pot-plants and cathedrals and grass. Not less real but more real, fuller, more fleshed out than this one. A tangible world with thoughts and time and relationships and bodies.
I want sunrises! Bread! Clay! Open and utterly and ridiculously unspoilt worship of our creator! Running! Dancing! Life and life to the full!
These and much more. A real, visceral, Godly paradise. Sure, the old order of things will pass away, but we do not just look forward to that. We look forward to the making of everything new!
actually now that I think about it, 'Jesus of Nazareth' is the 1st century levant version of 'Greg from Peterborough'
Saying something is a metaphor and then proceeding to ignore what was meant by it is still disagreeing with it!
If I say 'don't worry that 30kph sign is a metaphor' and then proceed to gun it through a residential area, I have still ignored the meaning of the sign!
Saying 'oh Jesus' sinlessness is a metaphor' 'the resurrection is a metaphor' 'the final judgement is a metaphor', and proceeding to live in sin/unrepentance still means you're ignoring the teachings of the Christian faith!
If you're gonna be Christian, actually believe the Christian faith. Heresy packaged as textual criticism is still heresy.
Thinking about the apostle John. Quite a sad story in some ways. He was probably the youngest apostle, the baby of the group. After the ascension, when the church began, they all worked together from Jerusalem for some time, so full of fire and exuberance.
But things were very difficult for the fledgling church. The first apostle to be killed was his brother, big James.
After some time we're fairly sure he wound up in Ephesus, where he became a sage of the faith, training a new generation. He instructed Polycarp, Irenaeus, Ignatius. He refuted heresies. Appointed Bishops.
Over the coming decades, he would have read the completed gospel of Mark, as well as the early forms of the other gospels, if not writing one himself.
But one by one, his fellow apostles were killed in the line of duty. At some point, he became the last apostle.
He died in a world totally foreign to the one he was born in, one turned upside down by the movement he had been so instrumental in. He died leaving a legacy and so much clarity and wisdom for the church. He likely had students with him at his death, but he was likely in some sense alone.
Exiled in a foreign land, he was the last living witness to the greatest story ever told. A man who walked with Jesus. He remained, and for decades retold and affirmed what all his brothers and friends had died sharing.
He is held to be the only apostle who didn't die a martyr. But in many ways, he gave the most of himself for Christ. I can't imagine the faithfulness, the perseverance.
Also, he once went to the Ephesian bathing house, saw a heretic, and immediately left without bathing lol
Continuing on from my reply:
Hi there. Thanks so much for these genuine questions. You are so right to ask, and I have so much genuine sympathy for your position. I get the sense your heart is in the right place, and you really want answers. Take comfort, you will find them if you keep looking genuinely for God. That's the first thing I want to say. "For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Matthew 7:8
Also: "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, For they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6
The Bible encourages us to ask questions and seek truth earnestly. How else can we come to know Jesus/God, who, after all, is THE truth, the way, and the life :)
I'll just respond to your questions as best I can in order. I'm not God or even a pastor but I've certainly read the Bible and love it endlessly. I am just a man. I will be wrong in parts. But I'll do my best, and I encourage you to search and search and search. Find others who love the Bible and can give you thoughtful, Biblical answers to your questions.
Most of all, take up and read. You'd be surprised how often the bible answers it's own questions! (In fact, I'll be using it often in this post!)
What do you feel you gain from reading it?
For my own personal experience, it provides intense encouragement daily. I read a chapter a day, many of my friends do more. And I can't emphasises enough how much a difference it makes to your day, to focus your mind on God and refresh your soul. The bible says that Jesus is 'The Word', as in, Jesus/God actually lives in the Bible, to the point where they are synonymous. It is one of the names of God. Whilst reading, (especially if you accompany it with heartfelt prayer) you can expect to encounter God. You are literally reading the words of the God of the universe!
I notice the effect on my day if I don't read. My friend described it this way: It's like taking your inhaler while you weren't especially struggling to breath, and only then realising how much easier breathing should be. It is life giving. As you've pointed out though, this has not been your experience. That too is to be expected. Excuse the long passage but I think this excerpt from Pauls letter is relevant:
"Even if I caused you sorrow by my letter, I do not regret it. Though I did regret it—I see that my letter hurt you, but only for a little while— yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. So even though I wrote to you, it was neither on account of the one who did the wrong nor on account of the injured party, but rather that before God you could see for yourselves how devoted to us you are. By all this we are encouraged." 2 Corinthians 7:8-13
For context, Paul's first letter to the Corinthians (also in the Bible btw) had been strongly condemning some of their practices, hence in this second letter Paul explains himself.
The bible does in part aim to point out mans wrongdoing and sinful state. But without this, it's very hard to see why any of God's actions make sense.
The Bible tells us of our sinful state. It is a message of reality, of not covering up the ugliness of the world and the ugliness of humanity, but also of a way out, of the silver lining. As the verse above points out, the discomfort the bible gives you currently is to make you alert. It is discomforting like a fire alarm, like a tornado siren.
So you're kind of right! Right? The bible says me, you, everyone is a sinner in all kinds of ways and that we will face judgement! We are literally being judged. Credit to you! You're reading the Bible correctly! You should feel judged! (By God that is, and NOT by Christians or other people "So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister." Romans 14:12-13). But yeah sorrow is the appropriate response!
This is necessary! God cannot save you from a fire you don't believe in.
But please please hear me this is not the same as hating yourself! Whilst reading you can feel conviction or condemnation. I think much of what you're feeling right now might be condemnation. It is a subtle but massively important distinction.
Condemnation is the 'worldly sorrow' talked about above: A wallowing, that feeling which creeps in and tells you you are worthless and God hates you. It comes from the enemy, actually. Satan is referred to as 'the accuser' throughout the Bible. Satan wants you to read the Bible and despair, to say "God doesn't love me and never will", "this can never be fixed", "God hates me" etc etc. This happens to Christians also, as Satan will try and convince us that God cannot accept us, or we've finally done something too bad for even God to forgive etc.
But that is not the aim of the Bible. In fact, the above are lies. The Bible tells us that Satan is the author of lies, "When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." John 8:44.
Instead, that sorrow, that discomfort you feel, should lead to action! It should not stop there! "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17 This is it my friend. When you feel convicted about something, try to respond "ah, I now realise what I've been doing wrong. Let me fix that real quick". You can just apologise to God there and then! There's no cleansing ritual. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" 1 John 1:8-9. It's as easy as that. He's literally always there for you! If you read something that convicts you, that shows you your own wrongdoing, repent. Then know you are forgiven.
Today I was brought to tears reading through proverbs. being reminded of ways I've been foolish and instructed on how to live a more upright and wise life. But remember, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend [who corrects out of love and concern]" Proverbs 27:6
There's so much more I could say, but that's the jist of it. I hope this helps. It's good you feel discomfort and conviction as you read, but you musn't hate yourself. Turn and repent, but do not be overcome with despair. God loves you so much; I hope you believe me one day.
2. I'm not sure the resurrection happened
It's completely valid of you to doubt the veracity of all the Biblical events. For many of them, it's not the end of the world if it is an exaggeration, or poetic licence etc. (Though, that said, you'd be surprised how well the Bible stacks up historically. For example every place name in there has been verified, including ones where the bible was the only place they were recorded like Nineveh and Jericho which were previously assumed to be fictional.)
But that said, as events in the bible with historical backing go, the death and resurrection of Christ is the BEST one easily.
It's embarrassing actually. Atheists who study this stuff have to say things like 'maybe he had a twin and they switched with nobody noticing'.
Here's one (of many) lines of evidence that's quick to show. Basically every modern biblical scholar, theist and atheist alike, agrees on these five facts:
Jesus was crucified
Women Found the Tomb Empty
There were independent appearances of Jesus after his death
The apostles maintained that Jesus did in fact rise again, even after torture and execution in all cases
Enemies of Christ were converted as a result of these events
It's really hard to deny the resurrection after this. A friend of mine actually resorted to saying something like 'maybe Jesus had access to unknown technology that he used to heal himself'. Some people appeal to aliens! You have to get really creative to seriously deny that Jesus rose from the dead.
Anyway, I could go on all day about this. One last thing though..
The documentation we have for Christ's resurrection is appallingly good. The first source documenting it is written 15 years after it happened. the rest all are written within the century, and they all agree on the main facts of the event with minimal if any variance. For a historical event, especially the death of just one man, this is very very good. There are entire wars for which we only get one stone tablet, written centuries after the fact.
All that to say though. The resurrection of Christ happened. The God of the universe died for you specifically.
3. I'm not sure God is loving
A valid, thoughtful few paragraphs from you here and it deserves a long thoughtful response. Sorry, this ended up being a bit of an essay, so I've felt I should put in sub-headings. I hope this helps
Intro
I hope I'm right in saying that's a fair portrayal of the rest of your concern? 'they give you some happiness but this is so heavily outweighed by suffering.' seems to sum it up really well. Essentially, how is any of this fair?
Firstly I'll just start by saying I don't pretend to know what you've been through. And I don't doubt you and those you love have faced incredible hardship in this life. I don't seek to trivialise or minimize it.
The Story
The way to understand hardship in this life is that it is evil and wrong and repugnant, but it is temporary. This world is fallen, but things will not always be like this. The Bible teaches that when Christ returns "God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away." Revelation 21:4
Basically, things will be so good in the new creation, that the suffering endured now will be worth it in the end.
A way to help see this is to think of the overall story of the world from the Biblical perspective. Starting at the very start of the book in Genesis, God creates a world and "it was very good" Genesis 1:31.
Humanity sins, and so God's judgement on this earth is to make it imperfect, causing the natural evil we see in the world today.
But God is just and merciful, and wants to restore humanity to the "very good" state. Hence, the need for Jesus' sacrifice. God's wrath is exacted upon Him.
Then, God can (and will) restore those of us who are willing to enjoy paradise with Him forever.
Q&A
Is it worth it? Yes: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."
Think about it. The God of the universe will make everyone who wishes to join him as infinitely blissful as He can for as long as He can (forever). It will be worth it.
But couldn't God just leave evil unpunished? Not really. God's wrath is a perfection for which He should be adored. It is right to punish evil. God would not be all good if He was not all just.
But more than that, it's kind of mechanically impossible. Fun fact, most theologians would agree that God can't create a box He cant lift. He also couldn't, for example, create a person who exists and doesn't exist in the same sense at the same time. Things that are logically impossible or self-contradictory are beyond even God's remit.
Hence why, God can't make a person evil and happy, or flawed and righteous, at the same time in the same sense. People are either perfect or not (mostly not). And if you're imperfect, you are incapable of being perfectly blissful. If I am wrathful, deceitful, envious, slanderous, malicious, etc etc, I simply mechanically cannot also be perfectly happy! Now, God could stop me doing all those things, but not without removing my free will. Because, again, God cannot make a person who is a free agent and also compelled to do good things! Logically impossible things are off the table, even for God.
Sorry I know you already understand some of this but just felt it's worth laying out again, hopefully this clarifies it a bit.
But yeah, this is why in Ezekiel it says "As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die?" Ezekiel 33:11
God is desperate for as many as possible to turn to Him, but He will not make you, and He cannot and should not ignore evil. This is why us Christians are told "Be merciful to those who doubt; save others by snatching them from the fire". Jude 1:23 There's that fire alarm analogy again.
Can't he just skip to heaven and forget this whole earth bit?
Kind of? He made the world very good remember? But to do so He would have to either make people without free will, or with free will. We're currently living out the consequences of the 'make people with free will' route.
He could also make a world with no free-will beings, and actually you've said you'd prefer that. Listen, I get it. I've felt the same thing at times. But you have to understand that it's not that you wouldn't be you if this route was taken, it's that you wouldn't be. A robot is an apt analogy. In this situation, frankly nothing else in the universe matters. What's the point of making a beautiful universe if it's forever empty, forever unobserved, unenjoyed?
So the choice is between a world with evil, or really no world at all. And, God who knows all things tells us that it will be worth it. Despite everything wrong with this world, "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."
Isn't hell disproportionate?
Sorry I know you didn't really ask about this, but it's worth mentioning here as it helps with the broader question of "is God loving?"
The modern conception of hell is a bit overdone. This is a really good video which clarifies what the Biblical position on it is:
Mike Winger on Hell
Mike, btw, does great videos about a lot of valid questions people like yourself have, chances are if you have a question about the bible he's made a video about it or something similar. I'm not sponsored but do check out his website if you like lol.
Anyway I think the most important point from that video is that hell is proportionate. It's not the same for everyone, and it considers factors like how much you knew in this life and the efforts you made etc, as we can see from Jesus here: "For if the miracles that were performed in you [he's talking about a city] had been performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you."
God is reluctant to deal out judgement, and when He does, it is fair.
On the whole issue of God being like an abusive person, I understand the sentiment. If someone claims that I must love them or face punishment, that's just textbook abusive, right?
And make no mistake, loving God is commanded. “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'" Matthew 22
But that's only if a person said that to you. It's different when the God of the universe says it. Especially when that God is all loving, all good.
Again excuse the long passage but I think this is relevant:
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." 1 John 4
Because God isn't just another person who you can love or not love, "God IS love". Do you see the issue? If you don't love love itself, how can you be loving towards others? If you don't love goodness, how can you be good? If you don't love truth, how can you be truthful?
Btw, I'm not saying that only Christians are loving. But that the more loving a person you are, the more godly you are. So that is why the command to love God isn't abusive. It is a command to be loving. Jesus is roughly saying "The most important Christian command is to be loving". Loving God is loving love itself. What could be more important?
God does not command us to love him like a domineering partner, God commands us to love Him because He is love, because it is objectively the best thing you can possibly do. And, once again, because God mechanically cannot avoid you being hurt if you don't.
The questions "why does God require love for me to be happy?" "Or why does evil lead to punishment?" Thus end up being rephrased like this:
"Why does love require love for me to be loving?" "Why does unhappiness lead to unhappiness"?
"The wicked draw their swords and bend their bows to kill the poor and helpless, to kill those who are honest. But their swords will stab their own hearts, and their bows will break." Proverbs 37.
To not love God is to not love goodness itself, and hence to love other, not good, things. As the above verse points out, evil has a way of punishing itself.
Keep reading my friend. I hope this is helpful, let me know if I can help any further though I doubt I can. The scriptures are also encouraging and uplifting, and honestly they encompass the full range of human emotions. You should read the psalms at some point! It is a book of poems written by a depressed king.
Also, you mentioned that you have concentration difficulty. In that case, I've found streetlights to be an amazing way to read. They've put most of the bible to music, and the tone of the chapter matches the tone of the music! Really helps me focus anyway. Just search 'streetlights bible' on spotify or youtube.
I'd recommend the gospels (matthew mark luke and john) to start off with. Jesus is the cornerstone of the faith so it makes sense to start there, we're not called 'Christ'ians for nothing :D
Then maybe some of the shorter epistles (letters written by Paul to early churches), they're quite digestible and clarify a lot of doctrine. Maybe Philippians or Colossians would be a good start.
I don't expect you to just accept this all straight away. That's fine. But would you consider praying something like "God if you're real and if you are actually loving I want to know you and be forgiven"? No harm in trying. God is there for you my friend.
Last of all, I want to re-emphasise that God does not want you to hate yourself. The second most important commandment, after loving God, is "‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31. In the same way you love your family and friends, Jesus/God tells you to love yourself. I know it's not easy. But it is possible. Especially with God.
God bless my friend.
@ Christians out there... could you please tell me what you feel you gain by reading the Bible. it's a genuine question and i'm really not trying to be rude or anything :(
i want to read it in the hope of this helping me be "saved" but other than being very depressed/ having ocd/ having no energy/concentration/ being much closer to atheism than theism - i think reading the Bible makes me hate myself??
i understand the idea that Jesus died for our sins on the cross and that being a huge act of love, but i don't really see sufficient evidence that this actually happened, and i just don't think it makes sense that God gave us free will and allowed us to be sinful so such a sacrifice was necessary in the first place? i understand the argument that "without free will we are robots who can't love freely" but i genuinely would rather be a happy robot than a suffering, sinful person with free will
aside from the Resurrection - i just can't see anything that would suggest God loves us?? like i know there are good things in the world but i find it hard to be grateful for them when there is so much suffering.
the God in the Bible reminds me of an abuser in a relationship - you MUST love me or you'll be punished - but i find it hard to see what there is to love?? God always seems so angry and surely if someone loves you - they want you to be happy? but God seems to have no interest in helping me in any way, or letting me be happy. the Bible says God loves you a lot but it feels like empty words - the way an abuser tells you they love you and does nothing to show it - or they give you some happiness but this is so heavily outweighed by suffering.
and i never asked to be here. never asked to have this life without my consent
and the Bible is always emphasising how awful and sinful you are and it's like don't i already hate myself enough?? apparently not?? i'm already absolutely filled with shame and guilt and idk it just makes me hate myself so much
how does anyone read the Bible and feel loved? i really don't know what i'm missing
i like some of the messages Jesus teaches but i don't find the Bible comforting at all...it's just so many threats and the threats don't make me believe in or love God any more. it just scares me
I have a theory that Marxism and Nietzscheism is the result of the Individual and the Collective being torn asunder from the abolishment of the Monarchy which kept both in check.
Without a 3rd side ordained by God, it leads to a vicious cycle
which leads to my theory that The Trinity also is a damning refutation of Dualism because of its fatal flaw to make one the measure of all things and the other evil without something higher than themselves to keep them in check because its something and someone bigger than themselves taking into account what the other side won’t touch even with a ten-foot pole
And as a result, both sides as much as they hate each other will put up with each other and even make deals with each other under the table if it means going after something they both hate even more
I call it "The Demonic Duality"
I think CS Lewis came to a similar conclusion
I'm something of an integralist
FLAMES OF DARKNESS AND RATTLING BONES SKULLMAGEDDON IS IN YOUR HOME!! SKELETONS ARE THE AXIOM YOU WILL FALL TO THE CALCIUM
Moral of my Life...
Society: Oh, unholy goth!! How it's possible to be so devoted to God and being Death supporter?? It's satanic!!
Me: Satan, probably, was divine once.
So.: It's Satan that talking!!
Me: Yeah... If Satan is That One That Told "Be kind to everyone" - yeah, I am Satanist.
S.: You know nothing about godly world.
Me: For sure, because only dead souls can know the Truth and facing the Holly Trinity.
S.: You will be burned in Eternal Flame for that!!
Me: Oh!! That one that is in Hell??
S.: Where else can it be??
Me: Interesting, there is no such thing as Hell. Something similar to Purgatory - yes. Heaven - yes. And everyone can have a nice pair of wings and fly to Heaven, needed only few things - truly devotion to Church and huge donation.
S.: You will be burned...
Me: Wait a second... Lucifer!! [Shut out to the soil.] Dearest friend, do You hear that?? Awesome. Oh, my favourite sweets are waiting?!?! Nice!! Excuse me... Where we were ?? Oh, yeah, eternal damnation in Eternal Flame.
S.: You need to be cured.
Me: Truly saying. Because I am feeling sick after this. [Dramatically looking into the Sky.] Holly Trinity, how many times I must going through this shit??
[Curtain.]
“Because Christ produced a new kind of existence in the world it is impossible ever to abandon hope. Christ’s representation is the transcendental possibility of such hope.”
— Dorothee Sölle, Christ the Representative: An Essay in Theology after the ‘Death of God’
sadly i think that liberation theology in general doesn’t get the traction it deserves both in (predominantly white) secular and religious circles because people, even the “good” christians who value social justice, are more interested in liberating themselves than they are in liberating other people. at some point christianity stopped being about communion and started being about how we can free ourselves from something: sin, guilt, shame, fundamentalism, etc. in actuality christianity is and has always been about other people, but nobody seems keen on acknowledging that in any way that matters.
yo! I’ve seen some of your posts around, so I figured I’d come to the source. I’ve been hesitant to engage with liberation theology as my journey moving away from of the evangelical faith I was raised in still feels recent, amorphous and short (I’m still in undergrad). I’m wondering how you’d present liberation theology to someone who’s wary but willing to engage with theology after a couple years of attempted cold turkey, but really interested in gaining consciousness of white supremacy in the way they might generalize the Christianity they reject
liberation theology is at its core not white theology. it's inceptors are all latino. its also catholic. i find it as antithical to evangelical christianity as you can get without actually going outside of christianity. evangelicalism is inherently capitalistic and protestant. liberation theology deeply marxist. it is the lived, rather than theoretical, preference for the poor and marginalized.
but liberation theology is hard. it's hard to live and it's hard to practice. it requires an exteriority that feels dangerous and vulnerable. it is vulnerable. liberation theology means liberation for everyone: not only those we like and can empathize with, but also those we do not like. our oppressors, our tormentors, our abusers. it is recognizing how everyone is in their own secret bondage and knowing that where human justice falls short, God's justice is eternal, infernal, and beautiful. it's generous. the world is not.
liberation theology also asserts the divine goodness of God, because a God who loves us is also a God who will liberate us. this is the whole thread that runs through the story of christianity when it is stripped of institutionalized bigotry and dogma. God's story is a love story. he is trying to break the chains we make for ourselves. the chains we are forced to wear by others.
my general primer for intro to liberation theology is gustavo guiterrez, leonardo boff (both latino liberation theologians, the father of the field), and james cone (black theology). also marcella althaus-reid and carter heyward (queer and indecent theology), naim ateek (palestinian liberation theology), and m shawn copeland (womanist, or black feminist, liberation theology). this isnt comprehensive, but they are the liberation theologians i've read and loved, as a person who felt disconnected from my faith after interactions with the evangelical church, when i was trying to find my way back to God just after i finished undergrad.
i will also add, you mentioned you're still in undergrad. you have God's whole messy eternity ahead of you to find him. he wants you: if you want him, he's waiting. you'll find him. you've got this.
Due to flare ups, I’ve been thinking more about my relationship with my disabilities and my relationship with God — any good resources/book you can recommend?
Hey there, sending love and solidarity as you go through flare ups and as you explore all this <3
You came to the right place — disability theology is one of my great passions! Here are my recs for you. If anyone has more resources to add on or insights for anon, please share!
For starters...
First, you might enjoy wandering through my #disability theology tag over on my other blog, which includes excerpts from various disability theologians.
Or reading through / praying with the disability text prayers I shared here last July for Disability Pride Month, which were written by a variety of disabled folks.
Since it's Lent, Unbound's Disabling Lent: An Anti-Ableist Lenten Devotional is timely!
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Memoirs Exploring Christian Faith & Chronic Pain / Illness
My Body and Other Crumbling Empires, Lyndsey Medford (2023)
This memoir connects faith, chronic illness (especially autoimmune disorders), and the sickness at the heart of Western Empire / the Protestant work ethic.
How can we learn to work with instead of against our bodies? How can we rebuild our world to treat all bodies with the love and gentleness they deserve? .
This Here Flesh, Cole Arthur Riley (2022)
An incredibly beautiful book, poetic and searing...explores the goodness of embodied life and intersections between disability (particularly chronic illness), Blackness, queerness, womanhood, and more.
Each chapter focuses on a different emotion (anger, joy, lament, love...) to teach us how to honor and listen to what we feel in our bodies.
CW for accounts of sexual assault and other forms of and abuse and trauma, as well as accounts of antiblack racism. .
Everything Happens for a Reason and Other Lies I've Loved, Kate Bowler (2018)
If you've been steeped in any kind of prosperity gospel, "if you pray hard enough you'll be healed" type Christianity, I highly recommend this book.
Bowler writes with gentle honesty about how her chronic pain and then cancer compelled her to move away from that kind of harmful Christianity into a faith with room for doubt, grief, and a God that holds her in her suffering.
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Disability Theology — Books, Podcasts, Videos
Disability: The Inclusive Church Resource edited by Bob Callighan (2014)
If you're interested in the perspectives of various disabled Christians, I love the range of voices they brought into this text! A great intro to how theology and church life impact disabled persons and how our churches must re-form themselves with disabled persons at the center. .
My Disabled AND Blessed YouTube series
I've got multiple YouTube videos that draw from various disability theologians!
I especially recommend my introduction to reading the Bible with a disability lens — stressing how different biblical authors hold different views around disability; so what's God's overall message? — and my video on Luke 14's parable of the banquet!
If you have questions about or struggle with the Gospels' healing narratives, I also recommend my livestream on that topic. .
My friend Laura's Autistic Liberation Theology Podcast (you can listen wherever you get podcasts)
Laura explores scripture through the lens of an autistic trans person who uses a wheelchair and has multiple chronic & mental illnesses.
I especially recommend their episode on "the Gethsemane of things," which takes an honest look at pain and where God is in our suffering. (Most of Laura's eps don't have transcripts, but I shared an abridged version of this ep on my podcast and it has a transcript)
"I am not your ornamental prophet" is also a great episode for thinking about what pressures are put on disabled persons and how to construct boundaries for yourself .
The Mad and Crip Theology Podcast
This podcast interviews the authors who are published in the Mad and Crip Theology journal, which is really cool! You can watch episodes with captions on YouTube, or listen wherever you get podcasts.
A good starter episode: this one "on Queer and Crip Sexuality and the Disabled Christ" .
Some eps of Blessed Are the Binary Breakers
While my own podcast largely centers trans perspectives, disability comes up frequently as well! Each ep has a transcript. These are the disability-focused ones:
"No End to Transphobia without Uprooting Ableism — exploring embedded forms of oppression"
"Our Pride Is Not a Sin — a Queer and Disabled Christian Lens"
"Goodness Embodied — an intersex, nonbinary first human and a disabled risen Christ"
"Marginalized Bodies as Spectacle and the good news in Jesus's disabling wounds"
"Eli and the prophet Elijah"
“Secular” books that helped shape my own theology
What Can a Body Do? How We Meet the Built World, Sara Hendren (2020)
Fantastic book digging into recent disability history, present, and future with focus on the “misfit” theory of disability where body and world interact with each other disharmoniously, and the creativity disabled people employ to make them more harmonious .
Exile and Pride, Eli Clare (1999)
One of my favorite books of all time. Connects disability, queerness, rural life, trauma, and more. Clare is one of the originators of the concept of the “bodymind” (though he talks about that more in one of his later books)
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Wanting even more resources? Here's my google doc with aaaaall the disability theology stuff — plus some helpful disability 101 stuff to share with loved ones!
Praying for comfort, wisdom, and community support for you as you journey! Please feel free to drop by again with any questions that come up or to share any insights you've gained any time <3
Wrestling with the Bible's war stories
Spend any solid amount of time with scripture and you'll run into something that perplexes, disturbs, or downright horrifies you. Many of us have walked away from the Bible or from Christianity in general, sometimes temporarily and sometimes permanently, after encountering these stories. So how do we face them, wrestle them, and seek God's presence in (or in spite of) them?
In her book Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the Bible Again, the late Rachel Held Evans spends a whole chapter on the "war stories" of Joshua, Judges, and the books of Samuel and Kings. She starts with how most teachers in her conservative Christian upbringing shut her down every time she tried to name the horror she felt reading of violence, rape, and ethnic cleansing; I share an excerpt from that part of the chapter over in this post.
That excerpt ends with Evans deciding that she needed to grapple with these stories, or lose her faith entirely.
...But then I ended the excerpt, with the hope that folks would go read all of Inspired for themselves — and I still very much recommend doing so! The whole book is incredibly helpful for relearning how to read scripture in a way that honors its historical context and divine inspiration, and takes seriously how misreadings bring harm to individuals and whole people groups.
But I know not everyone will read the book, for a variety of reasons, and that's okay. So I want to include a long excerpt from the rest of the chapter, where Evans provides cultural context and history that helps us understand why those war stories are in there; and then seeks to find where God's inspiration is among those "human fingerprints."
I know how important it was to Rachel Held Evans that all of us experience healing and liberation, so it is my hope that she'd be okay with me pasting such a huge chunk of the book for reading here. If you find what's in this post meaningful, please do check out the rest of her book! A lot of libraries have it in print, ebook, and/or audiobook form.
[One last comment: the following excerpt focuses on these war stories from the Hebrew scriptures ("Old Testament"), but there are violent and otherwise disturbing stories in the "New Testament" too, from Herod killing babies to all the wild things going on in Revelation. Don't fall for the antisemitic claim that "The Old Testament is violent while the New Testament is all about peace!" All parts of scripture include violent passages, and maintain an overarching theme of justice and love.]
Here's the excerpt showing Rachel's long wrestling with the Bible's war stories, starting with an explanation for why they're in there in the first place:
“By the time many of the Bible’s war stories were written down, several generations had passed, and Israel had evolved from a scrappy band of nomads living in the shadows of Babylon, Egypt, and Assyria to a nation that could hold its own, complete with a monarchy. Scripture embraces that underdog status in order to credit God with Israel’s success and to remind a new generation that “some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God” (Psalm 20:7). The story of David and Goliath, in which a shepherd boy takes down one of those legendary Canaanite giants with just a slingshot and two stones, epitomizes Israel’s self-understanding as a humble people improbably beloved, victorious only by the grace and favor of a God who rescued them from Egypt, walked with them through the desert, brought the walls of Jericho down, and made that shepherd boy a king. To reinforce the miraculous nature of Israel’s victories, the writers of Joshua and Judges describe forces of hundreds defeating armies of thousands with epic totality. These numbers are likely exaggerated and, in keeping literary conventions of the day, rely more on drama and bravado than the straightforward recitation of fact. Those of us troubled by language about the “extermination” of Canaanite populations may find some comfort in the fact that scholars and archaeologists doubt the early skirmishes of Israel’s history actually resulted in genocide.
It was common for warring tribes in ancient Mesopotamia to refer to decisive victories as “complete annihilation” or “total destruction,” even when their enemies lived to fight another day. (The Moabites, for example, claimed in an extrabiblical text that after their victory in a battle against an Israelite army, the nation of Israel “utterly perished for always,” which obviously isn’t the case. And even in Scripture itself, stories of conflicts with Canaanite tribes persist through the book of Judges and into Israel’s monarchy, which would suggest Joshua’s armies did not in fact wipe them from the face of the earth, at least not in a literal sense.)
Theologian Paul Copan called it “the language of conventional warfare rhetoric,” which “the knowing ancient Near Eastern reader recognized as hyperbole.” Pastor and author of The Skeletons in God’s Closet, Joshua Ryan Butler, dubbed it “ancient trash talk.”
Even Jericho, which twenty-first-century readers like to imagine as a colorful, bustling city with walls that reached the sky, was in actuality a small, six-acre military outpost, unlikely to support many civilians but, as was common, included a prostitute and her family. Most of the “cities” described in the book of Joshua were likely the same. So, like every culture before and after, Israel told its war stories with flourish, using the language and literary conventions that best advanced the agendas of storytellers.
As Peter Enns explained, for the biblical writers, “Writing about the past was never simply about understanding the past for its own sake, but about shaping, molding and creating the past to speak to the present.”
“The Bible looks the way it does,” he concluded, “because God lets his children tell the story.”
You see the children’s fingerprints all over the pages of Scripture, from its origin stories to its deliverance narratives to its tales of land, war, and monarchy.
For example, as the Bible moves from conquest to settlement, we encounter two markedly different accounts of the lives of Kings Saul, David, and Solomon and the friends and enemies who shaped their reigns. The first appears in 1 and 2 Samuel and 1 and 2 Kings. These books include all the unflattering details of kingdom politics, including the account of how King David had a man killed so he could take the man’s wife, Bathsheba, for himself.
On the other hand, 1 and 2 Chronicles omit the story of David and Bathsheba altogether, along with much of the unseemly violence and drama around the transition of power between David and Solomon.
This is because Samuel and Kings were likely written during the Babylonian exile, when the people of Israel were struggling to understand what they had done wrong for God to allow their enemies to overtake them, and 1 and 2 Chronicles were composed much later, after the Jews had returned to the land, eager to pick up the pieces.
While the authors of Samuel and Kings viewed the monarchy as a morality tale to help them understand their present circumstances, the authors of the Chronicles recalled the monarchy with nostalgia, a reminder of their connection to God’s anointed as they sought healing and unity. As a result, you get two noticeably different takes on the very same historic events.
In other words, the authors of Scripture, like the authors of any other work (including this one!), wrote with agendas. They wrote for a specific audience from a specific religious, social, and political context, and thus made creative decisions based on that audience and context.
Of course, this raises some important questions, like: Can war stories be inspired? Can political propaganda be God-breathed? To what degree did the Spirit guide the preservation of these narratives, and is there something sacred to be uncovered beneath all these human fingerprints?
I don’t know the answers to all these questions, but I do know a few things.
The first is that not every character in these violent stories stuck with the script. After Jephthah sacrificed his daughter as a burnt offering in exchange for God’s aid in battle, the young women of Israel engaged in a public act of grief marking the injustice. The text reports, “From this comes the Israelite tradition that each year the young women of Israel go out for four days to commemorate the daughter of Jephthah” (Judges 11:39–40).
While the men moved on to fight another battle, the women stopped to acknowledge that something terrible had happened here, and with what little social and political power they had, they protested—every year for four days. They refused to let the nation forget what it had done in God’s name.
In another story, a woman named Rizpah, one of King Saul’s concubines, suffered the full force of the monarchy’s cruelty when King David agreed to hand over two of her sons to be hanged by the Gibeonites in an effort to settle a long, bloody dispute between the factions believed to be the cause of widespread famine across the land. A sort of biblical Antigone, Rizpah guarded her sons’ bodies from birds and wild beasts for weeks, until at last the rain came and they could be buried. Word of her tragic stand spread across the kingdom and inspired David to pause to grieve the violence his house had wrought (2 Samuel 21).” ...
The point is, if you pay attention to the women, a more complex history of Israel’s conquests emerges. Their stories invite the reader to consider the human cost of violence and patriarchy, and in that sense prove instructive to all who wish to work for a better world. ...
It’s not always clear what we are meant to learn from the Bible’s most troubling stories, but if we simply look away, we learn nothing.
In one of the most moving spiritual exercises of my adult faith, an artist friend and I created a liturgy of lament honoring the victims of the texts of terror. On a chilly December evening, we sat around the coffee table in my living room and lit candles in memory of Hagar, Jephthah’s daughter, the concubine from Judges 19, and Tamar, the daughter of King David who was raped by her half brother. We read their stories, along with poetry and reflections composed by modern-day women who have survived gender-based violence. ...
If the Bible’s texts of terror compel us to face with fresh horror and resolve the ongoing oppression and exploitation of women, then perhaps these stories do not trouble us in vain. Perhaps we can use them for some good.
The second thing I know is that we are not as different from the ancient Israelites as we would like to believe.
“It was a violent and tribal culture,” people like to say of ancient Israel to explain away its actions in Canaan. But, as Joshua Ryan Butler astutely observed, when it comes to civilian casualties, “we tend to hold the ancients to a much higher standard than we hold ourselves.” In the time it took me to write this chapter, nearly one thousand civilians were killed in airstrikes in Iraq and Syria, many of them women and children. The atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki took hundreds of thousands of lives in World War II, and far more civilians died in the Korean War and Vietnam War than American soldiers. Even though America is one of the wealthiest countries in the world, it takes in less than half of 1 percent of the world’s refugees, and drone warfare has left many thousands of families across the Middle East terrorized.
This is not to excuse Israel’s violence, because modern-day violence is also bad, nor is it to trivialize debates over just war theory and US involvement in various historical conflicts, which are complex issues far beyond the scope of this book. Rather, it ought to challenge us to engage the Bible’s war stories with a bit more humility and introspection, willing to channel some of our horror over atrocities past into questioning elements of the war machines that still roll on today.
Finally, the last thing I know is this: If the God of the Bible is true, and if God became flesh and blood in the person of Jesus Christ, and if Jesus Christ is—as theologian Greg Boyd put it—“the revelation that culminates and supersedes all others,” then God would rather die by violence than commit it.
The cross makes this plain. On the cross, Christ not only bore the brunt of human cruelty and bloodlust and fear, he remained faithful to the nonviolence he taught and modeled throughout his ministry. Boyd called it “the Crucifixion of the Warrior God,” and in a two-volume work by that name asserted that “on the cross, the diabolic violent warrior god we have all-too-frequently pledged allegiance to has been forever repudiated.” On the cross, Jesus chose to align himself with victims of suffering rather than the inflictors of it.
At the heart of the doctrine of the incarnation is the stunning claim that Jesus is what God is like. “No one has ever seen God,” declared John in his gospel, “but the one and only Son, who is himself God and is in closest relationship with the Father, has made him known” (John 1:18, emphasis added). ...So to whatever extent God owes us an explanation for the Bible’s war stories, Jesus is that explanation. And Christ the King won his kingdom without war.
Jesus turned the war story on its head. Instead of being born to nobility, he was born in a manger, to an oppressed people in occupied territory. Instead of charging into Jerusalem on a warhorse, he arrived on a lumbering donkey. Instead of rallying troops for battle, he washed his disciples’ feet. According to the apostle Paul, these are the tales followers of Jesus should be telling—with our words, with our art, and with our lives.
Of course, this still leaves us to grapple with the competing biblical portraits of God as the instigator of violence and God as the repudiator of violence.
Boyd argued that God serves as a sort of “heavenly missionary” who temporarily accommodates the brutal practices and beliefs of various cultures without condoning them in order to gradually influence God’s people toward justice. Insofar as any divine portrait reflects a character at odds with the cross, he said, it must be considered accommodation. It’s an interesting theory, though I confess I’m only halfway through Boyd’s 1,492 pages, so I’ve yet to fully consider it. (I know I can’t read my way out of this dilemma, but that won’t keep me from trying.)
The truth is, I’ve yet to find an explanation for the Bible’s war stories that I find completely satisfying. If we view this through Occam’s razor and choose the simplest solution to the problem, we might conclude that the ancient Israelites invented a deity to justify their conquests and keep their people in line. As such, then, the Bible isn’t a holy book with human fingerprints; it’s an entirely human construction, responsible for more vice than virtue.
There are days when that’s what I believe, days when I mumble through the hymns and creeds at church because I’m not convinced they say anything true. And then there are days when the Bible pulls me back with a numinous force I can only regard as divine, days when Hagar and Deborah and Rahab reach out from the page, grab me by the face, and say, “Pay attention. This is for you.”
I’m in no rush to patch up these questions. God save me from the day when stories of violence, rape, and ethnic cleansing inspire within me anything other than revulsion. I don’t want to become a person who is unbothered by these texts, and if Jesus is who he says he is, then I don’t think he wants me to be either.
There are parts of the Bible that inspire, parts that perplex, and parts that leave you with an open wound. I’m still wrestling, and like Jacob, I will wrestle until I am blessed. God hasn’t let go of me yet.
War is a dreadful and storied part of the human experience, and Scripture captures many shades of it—from the chest-thumping of the victors to the anguished cries of victims. There is ammunition there for those seeking religious justification for violence, and solidarity for all the mothers like Rizpah who just want an end to it.
For those of us who prefer to keep the realities of war at a safe, sanitized distance, and who enjoy the luxury of that choice, the Bible’s war stories force a confrontation with the darkness.
Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.
Church Truth about Bumper sticker Theology
Theological Lanier Library
Theological dynamics are the ever-shifting currents that shape our understanding of the divine. They are the vibrant exchanges of ideas, beliefs, and interpretations that animate religious discourse. At their core, theological dynamics are about exploration and discovery—delving into the depths of scripture, tradition, and philosophy to unearth new insights and deeper meanings.
But they are also about dialogue and debate, where differing perspectives converge and clash, sparking intellectual fires that illuminate the paths of faith. Through these exchanges, theology evolves, not as a static doctrine but as a living, breathing conversation that adapts to the complexities of our times.
This library serves a great purpose for these studies as it contains various text and information about certain aspects of these religions, including fragments of the original texts of the Dead Sea Scrolls.
"The Evolving Influence of Religion: From Sacred Texts to Digital Discourse"
In the annals of human history, religion has long held sway as a guiding force, revered for its moral precepts and spiritual teachings encapsulated within sacred texts. These texts, revered as divine revelations, have shaped civilizations, institutions, and personal beliefs across epochs.
Yet, in the modern age, the influence of religion finds itself in a nuanced juxtaposition with its traditional textual form. No longer solely confined to parchment and ink, religious teachings now navigate a digital landscape, where ancient wisdom meets contemporary discourse with unprecedented accessibility and immediacy.
The evolution of technology has democratized access to religious texts, making profound spiritual insights and moral guidance accessible to a global audience at the touch of a screen. Social media platforms disseminate religious teachings, fostering communities of faith that transcend geographical boundaries and cultural divides. In this digital realm, religious texts serve not only as repositories of faith but as catalysts for dialogue, reflection, and advocacy in pressing societal issues.
Moreover, the influence of religion in the modern age extends beyond textual interpretation to encompass social activism, humanitarian efforts, and interfaith dialogue. Religious communities harness digital platforms to mobilize support for causes rooted in compassion, justice, and ethical stewardship of the planet—a testament to the enduring relevance of religious teachings in addressing contemporary challenges.
However, amidst these advancements, questions arise about the authenticity and interpretation of religious texts in a digital age. The proliferation of diverse perspectives and interpretations online can lead to both enriching dialogue and contentious debate, challenging traditional authorities and fostering individual exploration of faith.
Ultimately, the influence of religion in the modern age transcends its textual form, resonating through the hearts and minds of individuals who navigate a complex world seeking spiritual fulfillment, ethical guidance, and communal solidarity. As technology continues to evolve, so too does the dynamic interplay between ancient wisdom and contemporary relevance, shaping the ongoing narrative of religion in our interconnected global society.
“Anorexia: my experience and thoughts”
Living with anorexia is akin to being ensnared in a relentless tempest, a storm that shrouds the mind and distorts one's perception of reality. It begins with subtlety, often masquerading as a mere desire for health or control, but swiftly spirals into an all-consuming obsession with food, weight, and the reflection that greets you in the mirror.
Each meal becomes a battlefield, fraught with anxiety and guilt. The mirror, once a benign object of casual glance, transforms into a cruel judge, casting a distorted image that never aligns with the reality perceived by others. Despite the relentless shedding of weight, the insidious feeling of being 'not enough' persists, gnawing incessantly at the core of self-worth and identity.
Anorexia isolates, drawing an invisible yet unyielding line between oneself and those who offer love and concern. Social gatherings, once sources of joy and companionship, become laden with dread. The fear of judgment and the compulsion to conceal one's struggles erect barriers, rendering it increasingly difficult for others to reach out and provide solace.
The physical toll is immense. Energy levels plummet, and tasks that once seemed trivial become exhausting endeavors. Hair thins, skin pales, and a persistent coldness invades the bones, irrespective of the weather. The body, in its silent plea for nourishment, begins to falter, prioritizing vital functions over the everyday activities that once brought pleasure and fulfillment.
Emotionally, the struggle is equally profound. Anorexia whispers deceitful lies, convincing the sufferer that their worth is inexorably tied to their ability to suppress hunger. It thrives on perfectionism and fear, leaving scant room for joy or spontaneity. The rigid rules and rituals surrounding food create a false sense of safety, even as they erode both health and happiness.
The path to recovery from anorexia is a journey that demands immense courage and unwavering support. It involves challenging deeply ingrained beliefs, confronting fears, and gradually rebuilding a healthy relationship with food and one's body. It requires learning to trust the body's signals, rediscovering the simple pleasures of eating, and finding new ways to cope with life's myriad challenges.
Most importantly, recovery is about reclaiming one's life from the tenacious grip of a disorder that thrives on silence and secrecy. It is about reconnecting with oneself and others, finding strength in vulnerability, and embracing the possibility of a future where food is seen as nourishment, not an enemy, and where one's worth is recognized beyond the numbers on a scale.
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Living with anorexia has been a most arduous journey, fraught with the ceaseless turmoil of mind and body. It began innocently enough, a mere desire to sculpt a healthier version of myself. Yet, what commenced as a simple endeavor to improve swiftly morphed into an all-consuming obsession, a pernicious fixation upon food, weight, and the visage that stared back from the looking glass.
In the early days, I found solace in the perceived control over my diet, a semblance of order in an otherwise chaotic existence. But soon, each repast became a harrowing ordeal, each morsel a battle against the relentless voice within that whispered of inadequacy and unworthiness. The mirror, once a tool of self-reflection, transformed into a merciless arbiter, casting a distorted image that no measure of deprivation seemed to ameliorate.
As the weeks turned to months, my loved ones grew increasingly alarmed, their concern palpable in their furrowed brows and whispered conversations. Social gatherings, once a source of joy, became laden with dread, and I withdrew into the solitude that anorexia demanded. Isolation became my companion, feeding the insidious belief that I was in control even as my body withered and my spirit dimmed.
The day of reckoning arrived abruptly, as such days often do. My body, taxed beyond endurance, succumbed to the strain. I collapsed, and the world around me blurred into a cacophony of alarms and urgent voices. The hospital's sterile walls and the grave expressions of the medical practitioners laid bare the perilous state of my existence. My organs, they said, were failing; I was teetering on the precipice of oblivion.
During my convalescence, I was compelled to confront the stark reality of my affliction. The dedicated efforts of physicians, nurses, my family, and compassionate therapists brought me to a sobering epiphany. I had been ensnared by a malady that threatened not only my physical being but my very soul. It was a revelation both terrifying and liberating.
The path to recovery has been strewn with obstacles, each day a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. The struggle to reframe my relationship with sustenance, to see food as a source of nourishment rather than an adversary, is a labor of Herculean proportions. Therapy has been my steadfast ally, guiding me through the labyrinth of my psyche, helping me unearth the roots of my disorder and cultivate healthier means of coping.
Yet, despite the progress marked, the specter of anorexia is ever-present, a shadow that lingers at the edges of my consciousness. Stress and upheaval can rekindle the old fears, the pernicious thoughts that once held me captive. But I am bolstered by the unwavering support of those who love me and the strategies gleaned through relentless introspection. I am resolved to persevere, to continue my voyage towards health and self-acceptance, even amidst the tempest.
Living with anorexia has been a harrowing odyssey, a trial that has tested the very fabric of my being. But it has also imparted invaluable lessons in self-compassion and fortitude. Though I still wrestle with the remnants of this affliction, I do so with the knowledge that I am not alone. Each step forward, however tentative, is a triumph of the spirit, a declaration of my intent to reclaim my life from the clutches of this insidious disorder.
