Wasted Time - Tumblr Posts

You aren't the mistake; the time I wasted on you is."

EL

This is what 'waking up' feels like

“I have suddenly learned, without any apparent reason, that I have been lying to myself for ten years.”

— Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea (via nauseadaily)

Slave to the Grind by Skid Row: All-Star Albums - TheHappySpaceman Reviews

For the first installment of All-Star Albums, TheHappySpaceman checks out Skid Row’s 1991 sophomore album, Slave to the Grind.

Wasted Time

To: @thules - Merry Christmas!!!!

“What? Wait, No! You can’t just cancel our plans like that!”

Your friend sighs.

“Please… just try to understand! He just called me saying that he wanted us to go on a date together, and I was so surprised and happy that I…”

She stops herself, trying to find the right words to explain the situation “Well, I happened to forget about our meeting?”

You breathe… What else could you do? You made sure to inhale and exhale loudly to calm yourself.

“Are you still here?” she asks with a worried voice.

You decide to let all of this go. It obviously bothered you, but fighting over it right now is not going to change anything.

“ You know what? Okay! Just forget about it. Bye.”  

“Hey wa-” You don’t let her finish her sentence and furiously hung up.

You take a look at your watch. It was already 10:36 am, and you have been waiting for your friend, outside, in the cold weather of early December, alone, for more than half an hour.

Okay, you understood: she had a crush on that guy for quite some time; He called her saying that he wanted to go on a date with her. Great for her! But she completely forgot about your meeting in front of the Christmas market, and now you are cold and pissed off.

You hate being cold… Why did you even agree to go out in December… You hate rain and snow so much, and around this time of the year you avoid going out as much as you can… Okay, now you sound like a complete asocial hermit…

As you wander between the numerous colorful stalls, admiring the different products and scents this place transmits, you ask yourself the ultimate question: What did you originally want to do here? You suddenly stop.

The incident with your friend made you forget about your original goal. Oh! Right! you wanted to find the perfect gifts for your family members. You start walking again.

It was nearly Christmas, and you want to find gifts as early as possible to prevent yourself from rushing and exploring every store of the city to find the perfect gifts, you indeed have to save some time to think about the Christmas eve’s dinner:

Your family has decided to spend some time all together, and everyone has to contribute to the feast and prepare something, may it be something to enliven the night, like a dance or a song, or just to prepare a dish for everyone to share together! The whole point is to spend a good time together, to forget about the hardships some of you may have faced during the year and to bond again after a year of hard work. You still can’t figure out what you can prepare… You sigh.

A small stall catches your eye. A great amount of diverse wine bottles are aligned, and while the majority of them is in the background, some bottles are displayed on the counter. Maybe was it for tasting?

“Hello young lady! Want to taste some?” You lift your head to see a middle aged man smiling at you.

You smile back. “sure!”

Wine tasting is your thing! You really like the fact that even if it is the same product, made with the same ingredients, every wine has a different taste and a unique smell. It all depends on the conditions where the beverage is made, each step playing an important role in the process.

The man grabs a wine glass under the counter.

“Do you want to taste a bottle in particular?”

You take a look at the bottles in front of you. Which one would make a good gift? You were about to ask when someone suddenly reaches the stall and cuts you right when you open your mouth. You assume that he has been running when you see him exhausted, leaning against the counter while trying to catch his breath, his big scarf covering his mouth and nose, preventing you from clearly seeing his facial features.

“Excuse me can you please give me a bottle of-”

He apparently realises that you are there too, and that you were there right before him.

“Oh my god I am so sorry! Really! I didn’t mean to cut you”

What is that? Okay, he apologized… But still!

You start to feel that annoyance that you just managed to forget about. You don’t even know why it irritates you so much, it wasn’t that big of a deal afterall. You try to calm yourself and pull your scarf up to make it cover the lower half of your face.

“Yeah… No problem…”

He starts staring at you, so intensely that you wonder if you have something fishy between your eyes.

The stall owner clears his throat, making the strange man blench.

He pulls himself together, rolls up his sleeve a bit and takes a look at his watch.

“Oh no I am late! Can you please let me go before you? I still have to pick my brother up at the airport… I need to buy some bottles for this night’s dinner! And…”

You can’t help but glare at him while he keeps nervously rambling a bunch of excuses. You lower your scarf to reply properly.

“… So could you-” His eyes widened at the sight of your face.

“… Kay?”

It is your turn to be surprised. How does he know your nickname?

“Oh god it’s really you! Don’t you remember me? I’m Jimin!”

He finally lowers his scarf, showing you his smiling face.

“I can’t believe it! When was the last time we met each other? Four years ago? Almost five!”

Your annoyance almost completely melts and you smile back at him, still shocked.

“That was really unexpected! I almost didn’t recognize you”

You notice the merchant, awkwardly standing behind the counter while looking at the both of you. It must have been so strange to watch this sudden reunion.

You raise your head a little to look at Jimin.

“Weren’t you supposed to buy something? You are in a hurry so you can go before me.”

His smile widens.

“Thank you so much, I owe you one”

He asks for his bottles and the seller puts them in a bag and gives them to him. He pays, and while he waits for his change, he turns to you.

“I unfortunately don’t have the time now, but I really want to thank you properly. How about we meet over a coffee?”

You politely try to decline his offer. It really was nothing and you felt a bit uncomfortable about this whole situation, but he just would not let go of it, saying that in addition to that it would be a great way to catch up.

“So? When is the best moment for you?”

You finally agree.

“How about tomorrow afternoon? around 3:00 pm”

You agree with each other on the exact location. Everything is now decided.

“Great! I really have to go now, see you tomorrow!”

You look at his running figure, getting further and further. You just met by chance the guy on whom you had a small crush in highschool.

You are still looking in the distance when you hear the wine seller’s warm voice.

“So… Have you decided which wine you want to taste?”

You are walking towards the coffee shop. What are you even going to talk about, you don’t have anything interesting to say…

As you push the glass door, you see Jimin, already seated. He raises his head as he hears the small door bell tinkling, notifying him of your presence, and smiles at you. This is about to be a really awkward meeting.

You finally reach his table, take your coat, scarf, and hat off  and sit, greeting him and asking him if he did not wait for too long but he reassures you right away.

You look around the shop. The place is not crowded at all, there are in fact only a couple of persons.

Your table is right next to the window, at the back of the room, allowing you to enjoy the decorations, the christmas tree full of colorful ornaments, the fake gift boxes and the christmas wreaths on the walls.

“It’s a nice place, isn’t it?”

His voice is still as sweet as in your memories.

“Yes it is! It is my first time coming here.”

He seems a bit surprised.

“Really? It is pretty famous! I used to come here a lot.”

You smile at him a bit and pull the menu towards you.

“And are their food and drinks as good as the decoration?”

He smiles back and leans slightly to take a better look at his own card. He asks you about your preferences, whether you like sweet things or if you were more of a bitterness lover.

He shows you his favourite items on the menu and recommends some of them, saying that the christmas special drinks are the best thing on earth.

You both finally order your cakes and drinks, and while you are waiting for them, you try to revive the conversation.

“So… You studied abroad right? I remember that you once told me that you wanted to.”

The fact that you remember that astonishes him. It was quite a long time ago, and it made him happy to see that you recalled it.

“Yes I did! I went to Korea and attended an art school. I majored in dance.”

You both talk for quite a long time! You are happy to see that he pursued his dreams and took his hobby to another level. Dance has in fact always been his favourite thing to do. He even was in the high school dance team.

What you thought would be an awkward and uncomfortable moment was on the contrary one of the best you experienced since a really long time! You surprisingly opened up quite quickly and talked a bit about your studies and life. Maybe was it because you already knew him? Or because he was really kind and patient, making things easier for you? You didn’t really know, but you still found yourself spending a really good moment, smiling and laughing together.

You both talked about some stories you remembered from your high school days. It was really interesting to meet a person again after a few years. This way you could really see how much they evoluated, if they changed and in that case what made them be the way they are now.

Time passed extremely quickly, and you now have to go home. You give each other your phone numbers so that you can keep in touch and maybe meet again.

He insists again on paying for you, saying that he really wants to thank you for the day before.

You thank him and you walk together out of the coffee shop, saying goodbye to each other.

As you are on you way home, you find yourself smiling. Maybe it was a good thing to meet him again after all!

Your silly teenager crush was back, and it was stronger than ever.

The time goes by, and you find yourself talking more and more with jimin. It started by small and anodyne text conversations, then it became longer, and without even realising it you started calling each other and talking over the phone.

You are happy to have someone like him in your life; a caring and funny presence. He knows the right moment to be serious and when to be silly and make you laugh. He is there when you need to talk about how bad your day was, or in the opposite when you just want to tell him about some great news.

Your silly teenager crush was back, and it was stronger than ever.

“And you don’t know what to do am I right?”

You pout a bit and nod at the boy sitting right in front of you.

Christmas is in three days and you still don’t know what to do for your family’s dinner. You had already bought all the gifts, but you still don’t know how to “enliven the night”.

Jimin tilts his head a bit, thinking about this whole situation.

You are sitting in that coffee shop again. It quickly became your customary meeting spot and you often go there to see each other.

“I don’t know, I tried to proceed by gradually eliminating what I can’t do, but here is the thing: when I do this, I end up with nothing.”

You wait for his reaction, but he doesn’t move, still deeply thinking about your case.

You are about to tell him to let go of it when he suddenly turns his head to you.

“Weren’t you good at cooking?”

You look away.

“Yes, I used to cook… But not anymore”

He frowns a bit and worriedly asks you why.

“But what happened? Your friends used to say that you were good! You were even able to cook some fancy dishes!”

You sigh.

“It’s just that… I don’t know, I just don’t feel like I am good enough… I lost confidence in my skills I guess.”

He leans towards you while trying to catch your gaze and reassuringly puts his hand over yours.

“Don’t worry! I am sure that you can still do it! At least try.”

You try to object but he brushes it off and just warmly smiles at you.

“You can do it. If you want to, you can come over to my house so that we can try to train a bit! And if things go wrong, we will just have to find something else to show to your family at that dinner!”

His eyes are full of hope, determination and inducement.

You sigh again, and after thinking about it a bit, you reluctantly agree.

   You anxiously breathe in and out. Okay, you got this! You scrupulously followed the recipe and put everything in beautiful plates, so why were you still nervous?

You did well the other day, at Jimin’s house… He even complimented you. You keep convincing yourself that everything is going to be fine when you hear your mother’s voice coming from the living room.

“Kay, what are you still doing in the kitchen? We are waiting for you!”

You determinately put the plates in the tray, take it, and walk towards the living room.

You hear Jimin’s voice in your head.

“Everything is going to be just fine!”

He was right. everything is going to be just fine.

You are laughing along with your family over a silly joke when your phone rings.

It is Jimin.

You smile, excuse yourself, go to another room away from the noises and voices and reply.

“Hello!”

“Oh! you look pretty happy! Did everything go well?”

Your smile widens and you feel yourself warm up even more when you hear his playful tone.

“Oh yes! It was perfect! I am having a great time and everyone is so nice! They all complimented me when they tasted my dish and even asked me to cook for them more often!”

“See? I told you!”

An awkward silence settles.

He finally speaks, but with an unusually nervous voice.

“Uhm… Actually, I am in front of your house, so could you please come out?”

It surprises you. What is he doing there?

You tell him to wait a bit and hang up before quickly putting the first coat and boots that comes to hand on.

You tell your family that you are shortly coming back and go out.

He is sitting on the small porch stairs, waiting for you. He turns his head when he sees you and starts chuckling at the sight of your mis-matching outfit, making you smile.

He stands up and you take that opportunity to revengefully step on his toe.

You laugh at his hurt facial expression before asking him what he came for.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

You send him a surprised look but still agree.

You silently walk for quite some time before reaching your neighborhood park.

You follow Jimin as he enters, walks towards a bench and dusts the snow on it before finally sitting on it.

Something is strange. Something is different but you can’t figure out what and you eventually decide to sit next to him.

It is a silent, calm night, and so are the both of you.

The park is quite cold but you don’t really mind, it is bearable.

The sky is dark and cloudy, but you can’t look away from it, preventing you from noticing that Jimin is discreetly sending you stolen glances.

“Well, because of the clouds, we can’t watch the stars. Too bad, I know that you like stargazing.”

You feel his hand brush against yours and finally turn to him when he intertwines your fingers together, startling you.

You notice how intense his gaze is, full of love and admiration. You feel your heart racing.

It is strong, it is maddening, and this whole tension make you feel things you had completely forgotten about.

You are happy and satisfied without even knowing why. This silent confession is stronger than any other words, and it make you content.

He finally speaks, his voice hoarse from the prolonged silence.

“You know, I’ve always had a little thing for you. It started in high school, and I thought that it  was just a petty crush. You were nice, you were pretty, you were… you.”

You feel your heart rate quicken.

“Then we graduated and grew apart. I went abroad and lived my life for five years. I thought that this whole thing that I felt for you was over… And then I saw you at the christmas market. I couldn’t see your face because of your scarf, but you looked so annoyed! I questioned myself, as I was sure that I had already seen those eyes somewhere.”

He smiles.

“And this is where it all started all over again: We recognized each other, we met, and we met again, and before I knew it, that crush that I had partly forgotten about was back, stronger than ever.”

You are speechless. How can that even be possible? You feel exactly the same way.

You get out of your trance and start smiling, feeling the excitement and effervescence in your heart and mind.

He leans a little bit more towards you.

“I love you.”

That is it.

You waited for it for so long, and it finally happened.

You can’t help but brightly smile.

He leans even more and is about to close the distance between your mouths when your phone rings.

You can’t help but groan out of frustration as you take it out of your coat pocket.

It is your mother.

Jimin sees the name on your screen and disappointedly moves back.  

“You should go home, it’s late and besides, everyone’s probably waiting for you”

You turn the sound off and put your phone back in your pocket. You grin at the sight of his surprised expression and this time, you are the one to approach him.

“They can wait a bit longer.”

It’s weighing on my mind // I’m not trying to be a hero

Love this Keith Urban song. it has a much different vibe thematically than his other songs, since it was for the movie Act of Valor. His talent as a musician is undeniable, and I love how well this song complements his voice.

Another page from my mini-comic "So much boring #1."

I wrote these four haikus, then decided to turn them into a comic. Yep.

Drawing 16/2/2013

They say you gotta fail to succeed. Well you’ve put me down long enough, it’s time to move on in life.