Zumbie Talk - Tumblr Posts

The chaotic energy this au i came up with and the fact that I can’t organise it so much is unbelievable.

I rlly wanna show stuff i come up with and make for this au— but idk cuz it makes no sense to both fandoms.

A personal headcanon of mine is that phoenix rubs and pats people’s heads when he trusts them or feels close to them, maya, pearl, trucy, and athena love when he does it, because trucy knows he only does that because he’s close to her and athena can feel how happy he is when gets to do it, maya likes to do it to him in return, and pearl just loves pats in general and it’s a bonus if mr.nick is the one doing them,oh and trucy gets that habit from him too.

Apollo complains whenever pheonix pats/rubs his head because it ruins his hair but he secretly likes it.

Phoenix does it to miles at times but not before he asks if it’s alright cuz imo miles isn’t a fan of physical touches especially unprompted.

And Phoenix gets happier when someone does it to him.

Johann's villain arc was piss poor writing

tbh I don't come to RTTE for good writing, I go here for mediocre writing with flecks of greatness in it. But Johann's villain arc is a stinking pile of shit muddying the waters of the rest of the show and I'm tired of seeing people praising it.

If you're writing a twist villain the truth needs to make more sense than the lie. and Johann just has so many inconsistencies and plotholes and godawful dialogue. He feels more fake as the villain than he ever did as the Comic Relief Plot Mover.

What is his end game?

So he gets the King of Dragons, now what? Do what with it? Is he selling it to Drago through Krogan? If he does this then he loses the King of Dragons, his Allies, and the Dragon Flyers?? Then why does Krogan need Johann of all people?

What does he bring to the table that Krogan and the Grimborns haven't already provided?

Krogan brings the Flyers, an air force, and he's an accomplished fighter with an exotic style that the Archipelago is unfamiliar with. He's also bringing the Buyer and the Funds.

The Grimborns bring the Hunters, a naval force highly skilled at capturing Dragons alive (something Berk, the Outcasts, and the Berserkers couldn't manage after 300 years of experience) and selling their parts. They also bring the Dragon Eye - it's a decades (maybe even centuries) old artifact created by the Hunters for use by the Hunters.

Then why do Viggo and Krogan work for him?

No fucking clue! It doesn't make sense! He's been undercover for at least 15 - 20 years (the man recognises by sight the gift Valka made for Hiccup, which he threw into the ocean when he was a toddler). Any reputation he had in his homeland or even the archipelago is void.

Johann is also rarely ever shown fighting, and when he does fight he loses, so he's pretty shit. He loses to Hiccup twice, and he loses to Viggo. He's not inspiring confidence or fear so what the fuck is even his deal? How is he gaining loyalty?

He doesn't bring knowledge, or hell even an insider perspective of the Riders. Viggo has the information on the Dragon Eye and how to use it, Krogan has the information on what the King of Dragons looks like and acts like from Drago.

Johann throws out his one and only advantage, his alliance (and spy status) with Berk, the Outcasts, and the Berserkers, as soon as he starts to really need it (the Hunters are defeated and absorbed into the Flyers. Ryker, a highly competent general, is dead. Viggo is horrifically injured. The Shellfire is defeated. Krogan, his main general is combative, impulsive and desperate. The Flyers are loyal out of fear not camaraderie. Hiccup has a second Dragon Eye. etc).

He doesn't even have any good reason to hate dragons for christs sake!

Stoick lost his wife.

Gobber lost his limbs.

Drago also lost his limb.

So did Hiccup.

Astrid lost her uncle.

Fishlegs' ancestry is built on dragon hunting.

Mildew is a bitter old man clinging to his culture and influence (power).

Alvin wanted power through the Dragons, but didnt really hate them in the first place, just assigned them: enemy.

Johann just hates people allied with Dragons for the sake of it. It's never expanded on. It's his whole motivation for betraying Berk and it's not. explained. He's evil for the sake of evil. Johann the Trader at least could use the tribes of the archipelago for protection and profit, but Johann the Criminal Mastermind sacrifices this relationship for Viggo's Dragon Eye Lenses at the drop of pin. Why? Plot convenience and piss poor writing.

Johann's foreshadowing is another pile of shit to pick through.

His first appearance he sells poisonous flowers to Mildew.

This should be his first attempt to kill off Berk's Dragons, but he lists Breakneck Bog as his first attempt. His role in this plot is almost nonexistant - he delivers a custom order to Mildew and just, fucks off.

You could even argue that Johann, should he know what the flowers do to Dragons (which it's implied he doesn't) put the answer right into the Berkian's hands. The botany book he sells Fishlegs identifies the Blue Oleander, and because of it they're able to make a cure. Arguably this could be Johann's attempt to covertly save the Dragons.

And if he wasn't trying to covertly help, or he was in on it with Mildew from the beginning, then why on gods green earth did he even allow that book to be sold?? He sabotaged himself! If anything this is points against him as a "mastermind" bc it's a really fucking stupid move.

Johann kicks that one dragon

This is for all those people citing Johann kicking a Dragon away from his food/merchandise as proof that "there was evidence all along".

RoB spends half its screen time showing Dragons as pests, stealing food, burning shit down etc. That's the entire reason Mildew is able to succeed as much as he does.

Half of Berk is still violent to Dragons at this point. Johann is acting accordingly as Vikings are violent and angry culturally, and they get pissy at the Dragons for steal their already limited food and housing.

Breakneck Bog is apparently his first attempt to off the Riders.

So you're telling me that the grand, overarching, final villain, mastermind's plan to kill off a bunch of kids, at least two of whom are pretty crap fighters, and all of which trust him entirely, and all of which are fucking children! was to sail directly into Breakneck Bog, watch the Smokebreaths haul his big ass ship into a tree (all of which seemingly abandoned all of its metal wares ?), then swim into the ocean and HOPE that Berk would send specifically the Riders who again, are CHILDREN, to search for him so he can send them into a hoard of metal eating (not flesh, metal) dragons????

Does no one on the writing team remember that it was STOICK and GOBBER along with Hiccup who initially went searching for Johann? Hiccup went against Stoick's wishes to take the Riders out searching for Johann, it was PURE DUMB LUCK that Johann encountered the Riders at all!

Johann then proceeds to help berk and Stoick and Hiccup by smuggling them into Outcast Island on his own ship

If he wants Hiccup dead why even do this? If he wants the Dragons gone why even do this?

The only reason I can come up with is that he wants to remove the competition: Alvin. Which again, backfires horribly when he allies with Stoick. Great track record this mastermind has for felling his enemies. Really fearsome, round of applause.

Johann is saved by Hiccup during a freeze

He does very little in this ep aside from being fucking hilarious, but he is yet again rescued by Hiccup. Great motivator for hating him.

Johann then (accidentally) delivers Smokebreath metal to Berk

If he's doing this on purpose to help Dagur, rather than just getting tricked because he's the gullible Comic Relief Plot Mover, then why does he stick around to confirm Hiccup's theory? Just leave or lie, he's supposed to be an expert in deceit right?

All of Johann's RoB/DoB appearances consist of him doing something vaguely dodgy or stupid and then getting bailed out, or should he be a villain, hindered by Hiccup. If he's just a Trader, that's fine, he's here to be stupid. but if he's secretly The Villain of the series, then he's a really, really stupid one with no motivation and a habit of self-sabotage. Which I guess could be an interesting route if they played into his stupidity, but no, he's the ultra mega smartypants villain.

Dagur stealing his ship

Johann is a Trader of course he visits Outcast island. He's also Mr Comic Relief Plot Mover. He is the ideal choice for this type of Shenanigans.

But if Johann is the mastermind, then I guess he supposedly paid off that one Outcast guard? The same Outcast guard who then didn't direct Dagur to the ship or anything? So that he could sit and again HOPE that Dagur picked his ship instead of any of the armed and armoured Outcast ships docked nearby, which like, Dagur just defeated an entire prisons worth of guards singlehandedly after stewing in a tiny cell for what 3 years? and then he let Dagur throw him overboard so that said mastermind could once again mysteriously survive being lost at sea? What kind of supernatural powers does Johann have that allows him to swim in an arctic sea for days on end??

and on top of that Johann just decides, hey, lets warn the Berkians instead of maybe like, playing ill for a bit? so that Dagur doesn't get more than a few days headstart to raise an entire Armarda, bc ... fuck him I guess?

So, release the guy who you want to have kill Hiccup and the Riders, then set said Riders on this guy at your earliest convenience so they can swoop in and reduce his chances of doing the thing you want him to do??

Giving false information to Heather

Johann straight up tells Heather he can't confirm Dagur's whereabouts after his last tip, and that Dagur is on his way to get arms. It's not a big stretch to think Heather had good info, but bad timing.

otherwise this is one of the only solid points the Johann twist has going for it: send a single rider so that Dagur can get some practice killing them.

Johann distracting the Riders while the Hunters invade

Like the above point, not really a red flag, but also does hold up okay after the twist. As Johann did manage to fend off the Dragons proving he has some competence. but i say again, Comic Relief Plot Mover is much more likely given his track record.

Smuggling the Riders into the Auction

Why on God does Johann not warn Viggo or Ryker, who he is apparently in charge of, that the Auction is about to be sabotaged? Krogan is in the Auction too. If Johann is vying to sell the King of Dragons then impressing that guy should be priority numero uno or else his whole plan withers away. Instead he just licks Viggo's boots and stays quiet?

the whole Submarriper debacle

Johann, by your own admission you are currently in charge of Viggo and Ryker. Why are you sailing straight into Viggo's Submarriper Trap?

Also, why is he being nice to people he knows are about to die? He knows the Submarriper, so even if he's just like, idk scoping out the trap to check all's good then no need to a) be that close, or b) be fake friendly to your sacrifices?

The end of Season 4 is probably also the original end point, as they only had 4 seasons planned and they got given an extra 2. My theory is that Johann wasn't planned to be a villain until season 5 because they'd wrapped up 90% of the plot in Shell Shocked and needed a new threat.

Sandbuster

Ok, again, this is ok. He's just leading them into danger again. which I will still say could be Comic Relief Plot Mover shenanigans, but doesn't get in the way of his twist villain plot either.

Krogan invades the Edge

Again, this is ok. Lead Hiccup and Astrid away from the Edge so Krogan can now invade. But if Johann knows about Hiccup's secret project (Dragon Eye) why didn't he go to further measures to destroy it? Without it the race for the Lenses can never happen.

Getting the Lens from Heather

this one is ok. I guess. Makes the most sense out of all of them but it's also the ep where Johann is revealed to the audience (not the riders. I think this is called dramatic irony but don't quote me on that) so its gotta fit within the laws of the episode at the very least.

The Reveal

Just, why Johann? Hiccup has The Most Loyal Dragon who also happens to be The Most Intelligent Dragon. Hiccup is also the Dragon Master who can train/deal with any dragon and you choose to confront him in a Dragons lair that he already knows about and has escaped from before?

And I haven't even touched on the bullshit "evil smile in the background but only AFTER the audience has been handed the twist so it's impossible to deduce the truth before this moment"

Season 5:

Season 6:

This is the most dumbed down, babyish shit I've ever seen. I expect this from Cbeebies not Netflix. How many kids' shows these days are doing better than this!? (Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Over the Garden Wall, to name a few).

Like yes we get it! Johann is your twist villain. Except he wasn't even a good twist because it wasn't a twist, it was a flat out surprise attack with no clues and no warnings. It's not fun if you can't go back and connect the dots! which I've just spent maybe 1000 words proving you can't!

I just hate it! He has no clear motive, he has multiple actions that contradict his eventual reveal, most of his plots fail miserably, most his plots rely on complete and total luck, he brings nothing of value to the villain roster and yet he's our Leading Villain??

If Mildew is more convincing than your main villain, then something's gone horribly wrong with your writing, and maybe you should rethink this choice?

I keep seeing people making fun of using growled, hissed, roared, snarled etc in writing and it’s like.

have you never heard someone speak with the gravel in their voice when they get angry? Because that’s what a growl is.

Have you never heard someone sharply whisper something through the thin space of their teeth? Or when your mother sharply told you to stop it in public as a kid when you were acting up/being too loud? Because that’s what a hiss is.

Have you never heard a man get so blackout angry that their voice BOOMS through the house? Because that’s what a roar is.

Have you never seen someone bare their teeth while talking to accentuate their frustration or anger while speaking with a vicious tone? Because that’s what snarling is.

It’s not meant to be a literal animal noise. For the love of god, not every description is literal. I get some people are genuinely confused, but also some of these people are genuinely unimaginative as fuck.

I can’t believe none of us Shadow whipple and dad wade enjoyers, ever thought of this…

Rouge whipple.

Rouge is literally a big part of shadow’s life and I LOVE the platonic dynamic she has with him.

Rouge is literally prefect to be the eldest daughter and sister to Shadow and Silver, and probably the reason Why Wade hadn’t lost his mind because of his kids yet.

Only 4 days until Season 3 releases! Out of the entire series (so far), what’s was your favorite action scene?

I would like to reflect on this and say.

I’m a changed woman now, I didn’t watch the Chip ‘n dale movie and still haven’t watched it.

But from an outsider’s perspective and from what i saw about Ugly sonic from the movie, he’s probably gonna be the chill and responsible uncle.

Wachowski would feel bad replacing him at first but Ugly would respond with its not his fault and he’s glad that kid is thriving.

The others would be uncomfortable with him at first but as time goes on, they would enjoy his company.

I don’t have much to say on this because?? Idk I never thought of it. I don’t know what possessed me that day to be mean to him.

I just thought of the blue devils meeting the ugly sonic (the one in chip ‘n dale: rescue rangers ) and all of them are uncomfortable af.

Wachowski is confused but still welcoming for him. But ugly sonic seemed mad at wachowski for some reason (we all know why) .

Scarfz holds wachowski close to him and tells Ugly that the kid has nothing to do with whatever he is mad about, Bucks is holding BB (Bowling Ball) from spin dashing Ugly to oblivion.

Then Ugly says something insensitive to ‘Ski and they all lose it.

Wachowski doesn’t know how to react but he is emotionally unstable so he is flashing electricity, Scarfz is at Ugly’s Throat and telling him that Ski is just a KID FFS and he is not responsible for ugly’s failure, and Buck already Let BB go at this point.

I would have made a one shot but I don’t think i can do it rn so I will let a lil’ imagine for now so whoever wants to use.

I can’t believe they weren’t playing with this..

Hey Shadow. Its me again.

I have fun new sin idea.

To everyone who’s been freaking out over how adorable movie sonic is and wants to give him affection.

It’s ok, Maddie will do it for us.

Sonic YouTube is wild af.

Sonic x shadow generations isn’t even out yet and people are trying to nitpick every single nook and cranny.

Yall need to chill the hell out.

Friendly reminder to shadow whipple enjoyers to hold onto their shadow whipple content and enjoy it before it gets crushed by the third movie’s canon shadow and the annoying sonic fans who will complain ab our baby whipple being “ out of character “ .

I love how every single one of us decided that, yeah GUN made onesies of their SLEEPING dangerous military weapon project before anyone knew of his existence and lil Sonic wanted one just to be cool.

Shadow’s the type to write fanfiction, and has AO3 author syndrome where he apologises for his lack of updates and tells the most awful stories that happened to him and says “but I’m not trying to excuse my lack of inactivity”.

Amy is his beta reader and she aggressively tells him how he should take care of his health and drink water and eat.

You can’t convince me otherwise.

I just thought of a whole ass sonic boom:rise of lyric rewrite and I’m pissed, does anyone wanna hear about it? Plz?

Im losing my fucking shit guys

Modern/mainline game! Shadow meets Boom!team sonic and hedgehog village.

That’s it. That’s the au.

I can’t make a fic rn because im not too confident in my writing skills and i don’t have a motivation but i do plan on making art at least, so here’s some plot snippets and ideas for you and for myself that i came up with in no particular order.

Boom!team sonic will obviously be thrown off by how softer modern!shadow is compared to his boom!counterpart.

Short modern!shadow and everyone just going “Dawwwwe he’s so short and adorable” till he does something badass and they remember it’s still a version of shadow.

Boom!sonic is absolutely smitten and in denial about modern!shadow.

Boom!amy appreciates modern!shadow’s outlook on life and things around him.

Modern!shadow and boom!sticks solidarity or hostility, no in between.

“Hah! I bet you barely can lift someone taller than you with your size!” Modern!shadow lifts a rock twice his size with one hand as if it weighs nothing “what the fuck??”.

Boom!shadow and modern!shadow either have a mutual understanding and stay away from each other, or start punching each other the moment they see the other.

Boom!sonic sassing modern!shadow and modern!shadow softly chuckling, leading to boom!sonic to go feral internally. (It became boom sonic x modern shadow im so sorry)

Modern!shadow having to deal with Boom!eggman.

Modern!shadow loves hanging out with boom!knuckles, he can’t help it the echidna is lovable.

Boom!tails asking modern!shadow questions ab himself and his world, and modern!shadow watches with amusement as boom!tails losing his shit at every little thing.

Modern!shadow hates hedgehog village and its ppl, and he thinks meh burger is disgusting.

Modern!shadow is good cook (personal hc) so he makes sure boom!team sonic won’t eat something as bad as meh burger.

Modboom!sonadow real.

Modern!shadow never thought he’ll fall for sonic let alone a goofier lanky version of faker, but he is and he will die for the moron.

The Ark and Maria stories that shadow is comfortable sharing with them. :)

Modern!shadow explaining chaos energy,chaos Emeralds, master emerald and how they work to boom!team sonic (personal hc chaos emeralds and master emerald don’t exist in boom).

Modern!super shadow, boom!sonic will faint (I just think boom!sonic will be head over heels for super shadow that’s all).

Modern!shadow tending to a flower garden with boom!amy, and having tea parties.

Modern!shadow and boom!sticks talking shit ab GUN and Black Doom.

Awkward modboom!sonadow date!!!!

Boom!eggman trying to convince modern!shadow to join him and to defeat boom!sonic, and it takes every fibre of modern!shadow’s being to not chaos blast his ass to oblivion.

Modern!shadow having to explain to modern!sonic and rouge that he somehow ended up dating a version of the blue hedgehog, he never will live it down.

“Why are you this short??” “Because Professor Gerald knew i would be unstoppable if i were taller” (as a short person im Enjoying the short jokes im sorry)

And that’s all for now, if there’s anything anyone wanna share go for it!! These ideas aren’t in order and as i go on with the au they might change who knows,

I’ll probably be calling this au ‘ isekai’d shadow au’ so it’ll be easier to find.

Modern/mainline game! Shadow meets Boom!team sonic and hedgehog village.

That’s it. That’s the au.

Searching for genshin impact content on media is hard, because of the weird toxic stigma surrounding it online.

At least that’s what i see on my end.

I think Alhaitham is allowed to be more babygirl than Kaveh because of how pretty he is sometimes.