It's Been Months And I Only Now Realized That I Could Have Made A Spaghetti Pun With Alexis' Name

It's been months and I only now realized that I could have made a spaghetti pun with Alexis' name

In honor of my name card post reaching 500 notes for some godforsaken reason, here's more of that as a thank you to everyone who enjoyed that post:

Vincent "You're the Lovely of My Life" Solaire

Sam "No violence unless it's hot and deserved" Collins

Lovely "Punches holes into walls as a hobby" Solaire

Alexis "I need to be really careful with what I put here or the fandom will hunt me down" Getty

Porter "Who?" Solaire

William "Are you even allowed to drink wine with your meds old man?" Solaire

Adam "Insert the bisexual anthem here" Jessup

Quinn "Swiper no fucking murder" Fox

Bright "Trespassing" Eyes

Frederick "What do you mean 'therapy'? I can't afford that" Collins

Describing Redacted characters in one sentence or less (brackets don't count) but it gets progressively less comprehensive part two: Fooliverse Edition [for the original post go here]

Guy: Anyone working minimum wage ever

Gavin: An overheating mee-cro-wah-vey

David: UwU but with less attitude

James: Head pats

Anton: Cure for acne

Milo: The reason I will be convicted for murder because oh my god I want to kill this man so badly it's not even healthy anymore (for legal reasons this is a joke) That one anthill in my garden that's been bothering the shit out of me

[Also, because he didn't exist in the first post:

Porter: Sticking the straw into the bottom of the Capri Sun because you're a little freak]

Why did they go from Sweet "I need to do this bad thing for the greater good" Lovely Person to Horrendously Evil "I have been using magic to mind control you into loving me and killing people for me" Bastard just now? And why is that also filling plot holes? Why is my sweet misunderstood baby evil now no please brain stop-

Thank you u-u

Describing Redacted characters in one sentence or less (brackets don't count) but it gets progressively less comprehensive part two: Fooliverse Edition [for the original post go here]

Guy: Anyone working minimum wage ever

Gavin: An overheating mee-cro-wah-vey

David: UwU but with less attitude

James: Head pats

Anton: Cure for acne

Milo: The reason I will be convicted for murder because oh my god I want to kill this man so badly it's not even healthy anymore (for legal reasons this is a joke) That one anthill in my garden that's been bothering the shit out of me

[Also, because he didn't exist in the first post:

Porter: Sticking the straw into the bottom of the Capri Sun because you're a little freak]

Hey do you think that when Darlin' gives Sam their answer of whether they want to be turned or not, then if/when we get the next role reversal -ish anthology series there'd be an audio of Sam and the version of Darlin' they didn't choose? Like if canon Darlin' chose to stay a wolf (because I can feel that in my bones) there could be a vamp Darlin' and Sam alternate (fooliverse?) universe audio. That'd be neat. Also I feel like a lot of us would cry because if I were Erik that audio would be set some 50 years in the future and all of the Shaw pack is dead and Sam and Darlin' are traveling the world together because the Solaire clan "disbanded" so fuck else is there to do for them anymore right?