Just Saw A Post With A Snippet From A Fic Featuring Regulus And James With Regulus Sobbing ("No, I Want

Just saw a post with a snippet from a fic featuring Regulus and James with Regulus sobbing ("No, I want to be better. I promise, I want to be better.") over a (I presume) dying or leaving James. And the comments were all real sad and crying and stuff and I was like "What is this bit? Why are we all taking a crack fic seriously?" And then I went to the profile, found the fic, and realized that this fic was, in fact, not some crack about Regulus and James from Redacted ASMR but a serious fic about Regulus and James from Harry Potter.

I will now go and bury myself in the backyard.

Redacted characters and listeners as pieces of advice I, your residential writer and overthinker, would like to give all of you:

Darlin: If you're going traveling by public transportation or are going anywhere shady, buy all of your drinks on your way in glassware. Don't buy plastic bottles, buy glass. You'll feel a lot safer with a bottle made from glass in your hands when a creep comes talking to you.

David: When you're in a hotel, you can check for one way mirrors by putting your finger on its surface. If there's a little bit of space between your finger and its reflection, then it's a normal mirror. If not and your finger and its reflection are touching, then you should probably leave that hotel and never go there again.

Ollie: Percentages are reversible. 25% of 8 is the same as 8% of 25 (2), 17% of 112 is the same as 112% of 17 (19,04), and so on.

Blake: You can make chloroform by mixing bleach and rubbing alcohol. No I will not tell you any measurements, go figure it out yourself.

Bestie: Chloroform does not work the way it is often portrayed in movies. It will take a good five minutes of inhaling it to pass out. So just use a syringe.

Freelancer: Cuts to the forehead bleed an excessive amount because the face and scalp both have so many blood vessels very close to the skin. So, if you find yourself in a fight and are armed with something sharp, cut your opponent's forehead to (maybe blind them, but mainly to) annoy the hell out of them.

Baabe: You can remove permanent marker from your clothes by using hand sanitizer and from your carpet by using vinegar.

Milo: You can most effectively kick down a door by kicking near its lock (not on it, why would you even do that?) and driving your heel into the door rather than trying to get your whole foot through. You should also really lean into it to get the best results.

Vincent: This differs from individual to individual, but normally a person will starve after about anywhere from 30 to ~50 days. I know, that's a really broad timespan, that's why it's so important that it differs from person to person and why it's so infuriating to make a character starve in a book - it takes so much time to figure out how long this specific person with their specific body type and circumstance will take to die of starvation!

[insert:picture:"LITERALLY_ANYHTING_WEARING_A_COWBOY_HAT"]

[insert:caption:"SAM_COLLINS"]

[insert:tags:"SOMETHING_FUNNY"]

>send post

I have made my little Vega doodle into a digital piece and I surprisingly don't hate it.

Additional headcanon that I came up with while drawing this: The black eyes Brachium has aren't exclusive to deathwalkers. They're just a sign of age, which is why Vega's are fading to black.

Audio RP | Eccentric Illusory Supervisor Confronts You About Your Recent Snooping Around [M4A]

Say hello to Kit Canzler, your... eccentric supervisor. He's my newest brain baby based off of the concept of a brooding (and sort of kind of evil) 1940s noir detective and I had to put him into something, so why not make a fake thumbnail for him?

Info:

Kit is a good 40-something years old and has been with the department and steadily climbing the ranks since he got his full certification at the young age of twenty-three. He's known among his peers for his charming (and not at all creepy /s) smile and having his eyes all over the department, which makes him a terror for all new hires under his care as he is keen to point out even the smallest of mistakes to them until these mistakes stop happening. However, he is a bit more lenient with the older and more experienced investigators in his part of the department. But even if that's the case, he can't just keep letting a certain someone get away with asking too many questions and looking at too many documents that should be none of their concern... Maybe it's about time he had a talk with a certain "Sweetheart," hm?

The Redacted cast as shit I say too much:

Milo: We love a man who [insert anything] his girlfriend/wife/mother of his children.

Lovely: Love that.

Vincent: Lovely.

Asher: I'm gonna take a sleepy now.

Freelancer: Oh waw. [Usually accompanied by: O-O]

Gavin: *insert any swear word at all*

Brachium: I forgot. [Occasionally accompanied by: ._."]

Damien: Tf are you supposed to be? [Or: Tf is that supposed to be?]

Darlin: I'll talk to you later. [I, in fact, won't talk to you later. I'll text you again in three months. Goodbye.]

Vega: I am very sane.