Tony: Hey, Underoos! FRIDAY Told Me You Were Confused About Something And Wanted To See Me?

Tony: Hey, underoos! FRIDAY told me you were confused about something and wanted to see me?

Peter, sulking: Mr. Stark, I was asked to name all the presidents today.

Tony: Oh, that's all? I'm pretty sure you already know them all though with your smarts, kiddo, or you could've just asked FRIDAY.

Peter: But Mr. Stark, I thought they already had names?

Tony:

Tony: Holy shit, is that what teachers actually mean—

Peter: Yes, we are in the shit. No, we never give up.

Tony: Peter, you have a stAB WOUND AND YOU'RE LITERALLY BLEEDING OUT RIGHT NOW, PLEASE GET OFF THE DAMN CEILING—

Peter: Honestly speaking, I'm probably going to die early bec—

Tony: No.

Peter: But my Parker luck—

Tony: Tell your Parker luck I said no.

Steve: Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Peter: Wait, it's Wednesday?

Tony: It is Wednesday, underoos.

Peter: What happened to Tuesday?

Tony: I believe that was yesterday.

Peter: What? Why? How??

Loki, out of nowhere: By the progression of time, I'd assume, spiderling.

Peter: Guys, could you help me with my assignment? We need to list why water is beneficial to us.

Steve: Well, if you want to lose weight, you can drink water.

Bucky: Need to relieve headaches? Drink water.

Tony, gesturing to himself: Clean face? Drink water.

Natasha: Tired of a person? Drown them.

Everyone in the lounge area:

Bucky: ...Y'know, Nat's solution applies to my problem as well, depending on the context.

Civilian: Oh, Spider-Man! I thought I was going to die for sure! Please, have anything, on the house!

Peter: Uh, I don't think I can...

Civilian: Please, as a thank you?

Peter: I-I really can't. I'm uh.. hormones.. I'm pregnant.

Civilian: Oh. Uh, congratulations..? Is it a boy or a girl?

Peter: Uhm, a spider. The father's a, uh, a daddy—daddy long legs.