Deadpool: Say, What's A Less Legal, More Effective Alternative To Pepper Spray?

Deadpool: Say, what's a less legal, more effective alternative to pepper spray?

Daredevil, without missing a beat: A flamethrower.

Spider-Man, who only wanted to team up for Team Red: *sigh* Guys, his knife barely touched me.

Tony: You're so reckless! The third stab wound this week, this week! I told you I'm fine being sent to voicemail as long as you call back after!

Peter: But it's you! It's Tony-freaking-Stark! What if you called me for something important? Like, an Avengers-level mission, or an emergency!

Tony, pinching his nose: Underoos, you do know that I can just let FRIDAY automatically patch through if that was the case, right? Please just stop answering my calls mid-fight and end up bleeding on the streets! I have heart problems, kiddo.

Peter: Understanding is so demeaning, and it's unfair.

Scott: How come, bug-bro?

Peter: Why does it have to be understanding? Why can't it be over-standing? Or top-standing, heck, above-standing! Same with outstanding! Why not in-standing?! Confront?! Why not conback!

Tony: Kiddo, I love the passionate enthusiasm and.. desire for.. erm, equality that you have. However, don't you think that's a bit outrageous—

Peter, affronted: SEE?? WHY NOT INRAGEOUS INSTEAD OF OUTRAGEOUS?!

Peter: Hey, Mr. Strange, sir?

Stephen: Doctor Strange, Peter. It is not a made-up name.

Peter: Oh okay, Mr. Doctor Strange sir.

Stephen: *sigh* What is it?

Peter: When we put candles on a cake, does it summon some sort of demon that decides based on their mood to grant our wish or do the complete opposite of it?

Stephen: ..I believe the lessons of mystic arts didn't cover this.

Avengers: *being split into little groups again after a big fight*

Tony: The Titanic ain't got shit on us.

Peter: I walk around like everything’s fine..

Scott, sympathizing: Is it not? If it isn't, then that's alright, you don't owe anyone anything to pretend that you're okay when you ar—

Peter, tearing up: But deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Scott:

Scott, muttering: Why did I agree to this..