Brad Assured John His Workout Was Next. Chris Just Went In The Locker Room To Shower Peter.

Brad assured John his workout was next. Chris just went in the locker room to shower Peter.

Brad and Chris’ neighbor Luke didn’t get it. Why would he cut the cord? The phone would no longer work, and it would ruin the whole look. He also paid his ex’s AT&T bill a year in advance and felt he should get something out of it.

"A brief?!? That's funny. I thought gold only came in a thong or g-string."

It was right then and there in the middle of shooting the remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, sponsored by T-Mobile's 5G full coverage network, Brad realized technology and innovation could actually backfire.

“How could the ‘T’ not stand for thong?!”

Brad couldn’t believe the producers were being serious. It turns out they were.

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) // dir. Jim Sharman

Brad didn’t know why he swallowed the fly. His boyfriend, Chris didn’t really care. Brad’s fly was looking fly and this swallowing bit was by far the hottest thing since the woodchuck’s chucked wood.

Come to Daddy!

Of course Brad backed it up. He backed like no one. Helloooo! What gay wouldn’t die without a phone?

Chris then informed his boyfriend he was referring to their VW Cabriolet in their driveway.

Brad paused for a moment to soak it all in. “Chris, did you want to stick it in?”

He did.

Chris had a problem with the word ‘manufacturer’. It didn’t roll off the tongue like Becky’s ‘Namibia.’

What was he going to do now anyway? The photo shoot was in full swing. It was indeed a nasty word though. The only thing more on the nasty was the plural, ‘manufacturers.’

Despite the distractions, as a professional gay model, Chris was expected to somehow make it WERK, WURQ and WORK not to mention WORKOUT and everything between with a bend and snap of the finger.

It was A LOT and Chris realized he had taken every version of the word on. He never expected the Inuit people to live up up to every term ever created for snow. Why did he put all this expectation around the gays? Was he putting all this pressure on himself?

Chris needed to get a grasp on his performance. How was he doing? What was he doing? Was he making this photo shoot look easy?

If so, Chris was either putting in too much effort, too into it or possibly Inuit himself. He never did water the family tree to find out, but only because he didn’t know how. He tried tho. Oh how he tried.

Chris stopped himself there. He really needed to stop trying. How could he do that? He didn’t know any other way.

Chris decided to bring himself back to the present tense. Whatever that was had to be better than this brand of timeless self torture. One deep breath in and…

Admittedly the now was hot. The better half of nasty if you know what that means. The jockstrap on his head smelled a little like his boyfriend Brad too.

He worked out.

Wait. Was this his?

(Click!)

That’s when the photographer ran out of memory and yelled, “what the hell was going on?!

Chris said he wasn’t too sure as he kept getting distracted himself. He did though suspect the jockstrap on his head was his boyfriends so wasn’t overly concerned as to what they may snap out of and into. Brad was around somewhere. The jockstrap was still fresh.

Chris’ stomach then rumbled. “Was Cher just here? I feel like pizza.”

That’s when Chris realized the photographer was their neighbor Luke. Apparently he brought over some new weed to watch Mystic Pizza. It was good stuff.