Brad Knew He Was Pretty. No News There.

Brad knew he was pretty. No news there.

…but was he AI pretty?

He didn’t feel real real. While there, Brad didn’t know how to feel real real in the first place. Did anyone know?

In the spirit of keeping it real Brad’s boyfriend Chris answered with a stark “No.” Chris then went on to explain not a single soul had a clue as to why we were all on this tiny planet hurtling through interstellar space at ungodly speeds.

After three seconds of pouted silence, Brad demanded to know once again if he was not pretty but AI pretty.

Chris said Brad was ‘as plastic as they come’ not after pointing out plastic was as real as anything else. “You want to get real real Brad? Just look at our oceans. Even sea salt was loaded with microplastics now. Nothing out of the ocean was safe. It was pink Himalayan or bust.”

Before Chris could go any further, Brad announced that he decided he’d ask their friend Becky when she got back from the taco stand. She was straight so could hypothetically give a straight answer. It wasn’t ideal but his boyfriend’s roundabout just wasn’t cutting it.

Brad then paused to look around. “Where was Becky anyway?

Chris replied, “Really Brad? Really?!?”

That’s when Becky sauntered up from behind Chris with a basket of fresh steamy tacos. She asked the boys for the last time if they were really down for eating all this given they were both out.

It was quite a spread and the meat had the same consistency as cottage cheese but it wasn’t Taco Bell nor its knock off Taco Bueno. It was some local man from Pennsylvania who made them. His name was Hanz Bergenstein. That stuck out to Becky for some reason.

Brad and Chris were very quick to respond. They were not up or down with the taco scene. Becky thought this might be the case.

Pulling her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose so she could make eye contact with Brad and Chris, Becky mentioned it was a good thing it was a Saturday. There was no way they’d be sitting next to a group of stuntmen from the Monster Truck Show tomorrow. It was one night only and always on a Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

No one knew why the day of the show needed to be repeated three times when it actually occurred in the evening but that’s what presented itself. The Monster Truck Show never started before 5-5:30pm so the organizers wouldn’t be inclined to extend the truck rally and inadvertently cause a mass suffocation in an unsuspecting domed stadium.

As it was, everyone would get light headed just one hour in. The show of course was without a story line and absolutely terrible, but the fumes more than made up for it. Mix in the local beer, busty girls as well as some good ol’ fashioned Red Bull, and let’s be honest. It really didn’t matter what was going on. That’s a good time despite any controversy!

To that, Becky asked Brad and Chris if 5pm was technically still daytime. Brad pointed out it was a slightly delicate yes and no situation that included the whole daylight savings mess. That seemed like a lot to him for a casual day at the pool.

Chris agreed and then threw in a memo stating that spring forward/fall back thing just needed to die already. Becky said it was one of many horrifying things that would die naturally with the Boomers as they finally made their way out to which Brad and Chris replied a nearly automated “Here. Here.”

With that, the controversy tabled itself for another time. Becky then announced she needed to take advantage of the situation so she could get the stuntmen to take advantage of her. Flipping her hair in a tizzy Becky then spun a perfect 180 to showcase her taco basket to the heterosexuals. The three men let out a faint gasp.

Becky was real real real and felt real real real too. Before fully launching herself gaily forward into the world of straights, she paused to give Brad an answer to a question he had yet to ask of her.

“Brad, you’re not AI pretty. You’re REAL pretty! P.S. you’re REAL pretty too Chris.”

Awe! Becky was the real real deal!!!

And just like that, Becky was off like like her swimsuit in 45 minutes. It would take Brad and Chris a good ten to get theirs off mostly because both felt slightly bloated from smelling the tacos. It took four of those minutes just to realize the taco stand was only ten feet away. Madonna saved the world in that amount of time.

Obviously, tacos were evil.

What Brad and Chris needed was a tall cool glass or two of cucumber water. To Brad and Chris’ delight they gulped down three that day. Why don’t we say it was a vurrrry hot afternoon to every degree and leave it at that.

Mmmmm… cucumber.

Chris felt the need to clarify. It wasn’t being green that was easy. He would never assume to know what being green felt like. The thought was preposterous.

What Chris was saying was that he was easy and it was sometimes difficult wearing green. The tone needs to be correct or it may look sick in the way where you lose weight. Chris was happy with his muscle mass.

This shade of green seemed to work. Did his boyfriend Brad see the difference in what he said vs what was heard? Did Brad appreciate the shade of green of his Speedo? He tried on ten pairs for their neighbor Luke to land on this.

Chris raised his arms to showcase the minimal fabric. Brad saw the difference as well as their neighbor Luke’s naughty nature. It matched his own.

As his boyfriend, Brad always stood behind Chris when things got hard. Seeing the the degree of difficulty mastered in Chris’ showcase pose, Brad offered to get his boyfriends back right then and there. Was that ok?

Chris failed to answer and continued to look for that invisible pencil he dropped while posing for Brad. It was a good thing they took a lot of time to find in the sand. That bend and snap was nothing short of a tease.

Chris wasn’t from South Africa but he was pretty sure you wanted to go there. (Wink wink)

Chris’ favorite color was RAINBOW!! …Obviously, his boyfriend Brad’s favorite color was clear.

We don’t see him. Do you?

Well… That was yet another post that inexplicably disappeared from Tumblr. There have been so many we lost count over here at BradandChris.com.

Thanks a lot censor bots!!!

PS - Our differentiator as the gays is SEX! Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. SEX!!!!

Stop it already.

No really. Stop. Sex is our thing.

I’m telling you people jealousy is nothing to sneeze at. This kinda stuff doesn’t happen bi-accident.

BTW - have you seen that one? No real accidents there as it’s scripted. Filled to the brim with bad acting. Bi-accident 2 tho... well, there’s a huge difference. We do mean HUGE.

Chris’ was getting upset. He just bought those swimmers too.

UGH! They weren’t easy to find the first time. If it weren’t for the sale sign, Chris never would have never seen them at the Speedo Plant Print Plant Factory Store.

The weirdest part was his unit was also missing. How the hell did that fall off? And, how did he not feel something like that?!?

Mystery abounded.

Chris tried to remain calm. What he needed to do was come up with a plan.

After taking two deep breaths Chris decided to give himself two more minutes of searching. If his suit or his balls didn’t show up then he’d call in his boyfriend Brad for help.

Chris then looked up at the sky, crossed his fingers, and hoped to Cher. Sure enough, Chris’ swimmers showed up less than a minute later when he stood up in the shallows and put his hands on his hips.

Ta-da!!!

Brad looooved volunteering as candy stripper at Cedars-Sinai!

Wait a second. Was his butt hot or chili?

Oh. Brad could tell this could get real sticky real fast like his boyfriend Chris’ homemade flapjacks. What Brad needed to do was to get a reading from him before his hand got stuck.

Click!

Well, it was a good thing the elevator was headed to the first floor. The ER would know how to unstuck him.