Men Wearing Speedos - Tumblr Posts
That was an interesting question. While Chris could not speak 4 ALL gays, he could speak as one. Brad chimed in asking if that made Chris ‘A gay” or “The Gay” as 2 the subject @ hand. Chris hypothesized a higher likelihood of the former considering Margaret Cho herself asked the question. Or would that be the latter? Oh now this was confusing. That’s when Brad turned 2 Margaret and said Chris was indeed allergic 2 shirts and so was he. Margaret then suggested changing detergents.
Better @ getting their feet wet
Jose can’t see. Too much sun.
That’s ok. Brad can see the new model intern is fine. Really fine actually.
Chris just confirmed peeking around the corner. Jose is packing it.
All is well then.
“It wasn’t the most ridiculous thing out there. Far from it.”
Brad then reminded Becky so far, the plan for human survival was a cave full of seeds in Iceland and some bunkers in New Zealand built by paranoid rich people with guns. He then restruck the pose.
“Now, what exactly did Becky have to say about the ‘outfit’ again? You know what, it doesn’t matter as no one needs to compete with zero coordination.”
Brad then turned to face Becky directly. “People go to jail for not having an emergency plan. What’s really messed up is nothing exists at the top level for all of us. Why was the human species as a whole so whacked anyway?”
Becky offered to get the next round of margaritas and motioned for Brad to rejoin his place in the cabana. Chris piped in to make them doubles then asked everyone where they should take that conversation. It was a pool day, the snarky could be tabled.
Brad thought it should go to Boise. Chris thought to shuffle it off to Buffalo citing his own disappointment in it’s obviousness. Becky didn’t know where to put it but thought enough to store it in Namibia. It was dry and sparsely populated so would preserve well.
She then guessed a doomsay plan could pass through countless generations unnoticed and undisturbed like Ring Around the Rosie. The coding on that was a bit whacked as the message did not make the impact it could have given it’s significance and pertinence to current global epidemics.
“It was from the Middle Ages so certainly credit could be given there. Did we need to attach trauma to children? It is safe to say there were no guns pointed at anyone.”
Becky went on to state the plague and assumed apocalypse remained daunting. To clear the way for the rest of their pool day while the larger whole got it’s act together, she suggested a temporary placeholder in lieu of a true master plan for the survival of the human species.
“It would need to be super simple and as close to universal as possible. Maybe a song is a good idea. Could we at least say, ‘Don’t panic.’ or ‘Florida is underwater. Think Nepal, not Naples.’
Becky took a sip of a now nearly toasted margarita.
“Of course, people would freak anyway, especially after discovering there was no master plan. It may though give us a moment of clarity before the madness where one out of 8 billion of us might just come up with a resolution.”
Becky further dove in the point explaining the problem even with her suggestions around all this lies exactly where it does in general, surfacing the best idea.
“The car alarm, censor/chat bots, a war on drugs, phone trees, microbeads in soap, beef hamburgers and the electric chair were lauded as genius at one juncture. The fact is the list is infinite, and we know better now. The more hoopla made over something, the more it felt like there was reason to question it.”
Becky then mentioned all the gimmicks around AI. “We really do not know what we are stepping into or better said, already have. For some time, no regulation existed around any of it. AI also did not automatically keep records in the same capacity as with previous technological advances. This was scary.”
All three were already well aware Brad and Chris’ issues with Tumblr stemmed out of bots and a culture difficult to interpret other than hellbent on efficiency and profit ironically at any cost to its own customers.
In an unrealized interruption, Brad interjected his shock, “I so did not associate the censorship with AI until now. That’s…. OMG. I mean… Look at the damage being done to the gay community alone. I didn’t place it. That hardly makes it any less real or hard hitting.”
Becky assured Brad in his reaction and offered some perspective as to what Brad and Chris faced. “There is not sufficient law, social construct, personal protection or compensation around AI. Overall, corporations and those of resource thus far have chosen censorship, ignorance, and to look out for themselves.”
She paused to readjust her composure into a near stand on her knees.
“That IS fear culture. Process exceeds person across the board here, and in the grand scheme everyone loses. You are literally taking the brunt here with your blog bradandchris.com.”
Seeing things materialize for the two, Becky switched gears quickly. “I say keep going. The Oregon Trail didn’t pop up out of nowhere. If you look around, you are not the only gays on the block either. Start your own thing or grind away just as the bots do to you. Eventually people pick up mirroring which is why we all do it where conversations can’t or do not happen for whatever reason.”
Becky scanned the pool looking for their server before returning her attention to Brad and Chris.
“To mirrors, why don’t you start Twittering? Musk is also weary of AI. You might find a home there. It would not hurt to try.”
Brad and Chris appreciated options and the former nodded in affirmation. The each knew they were not helpless, but not unaware any move required significant resources or losses.
As to her suggestion as to where to temporarily store the conversation of a need for master plan for a global emergency, Becky affirmed her choice in Africa. Humanity began on the very same soil, and the entire continent was bothering enough to take time for introspection.
She lived in South Africa for several years as a medical refugee from the United States Her insurance didn’t cover her condition and she needed to go somewhere cheap as well multicultural that came in English with a beach. It was that or Belize.
Chris who’d been quietly sunning at the edge of the cabana suddenly came to life. “Is that where ‘Please Belize’ came from? I’ve heard you say that and caught myself saying it. It’s mad addicting. I’ve tried to keep it to myself as I didn’t know what it meant. I forget to ask every time you are around. The last thing I need to do is offend more people out of the blue.”
Chris sat up to allow for his hands and arms to go full on Price is Right showcase. “I look really good in blue. Just look at my tiny swimmers.”
Becky nodded in affirmation took the last slip of the margarita in hand and motioned for the pool server that came into view to head their way. Satisfied they made contact and on their way over, she called Mars a ‘hellhole’ and reframed Twitter as a definite ‘maybe.’
She then mentioned she got her job assisting for Ralph Lauren after meeting him at the beach in Cape Town. That’s why she came back to the States. Her her stint abroad may also explain some oddities about her.
To bring everything full circle before the server arrived, Becky indicated her regret for using the Oregon Trail as an example. It wasn’t what she intended to say though she could not remember what that was. She pointed out while understandable as a selection, Boise left out half the population inclusive of herself, and that she didn’t know what a ‘shuffle’ was. It did not ring as something particularly evolutionary or bring much to her in terms of inspiration. It did remind her of apples for unknown reasons.
At the end of the day and to rest her case, it was fun to say Namibia.
“Namibia.”
Becky was so on her game.
Day five of the Atlantis Caribbean Cruise and Chris suddenly caught wind of Cherry Pie Apparently, Warrant was now in fragrances.
You know, Brad was smart to stay on the boat.
Brad and Chris were more than Pumped to do a pool scene for their pal Lisa in West Hollywood. They shot it for her little dog too.
They also needed to replace the framed photo of them in full coverage speedos on the side table in the living room. It was nearly summer in L.A.!
"Easy?” No. That wasn't correct. “Difficult?”Nope. That didn't feel right.
Brad kept guessing.
"Shoot! What was that word?” Brad could not get it past the tip of his tounge.
“It’s what happens to my boyfriends hee-haw when he wears silk underwear. It gets… blank.”
It was then his neighbor Becky chimed in with the option for Brad and Chis to adopt but not before clarifying the term “hee haw” referred to the Peter of his Mary.
It did.
With that resolved, the conversation then moved on to the newest color, electric gray. Becky couldn’t remember which of the two made it up. There was no way that was real.
Well felt like a deep subject to Chris. Could his boyfriend Brad circle back to Barbiecore bulge’s? It was much more interesting and felt quiet relevant. Maybe Brad could feel it too.
Oh gosh.
Umm…
Well, this was weird. Smack dab in the middle of a neighborhood BBQ, Brad and Chris’s neighbor Luke couldn’t remember if he was drunk or flirting.
Those were separate things correct? Work from home did have its drawbacks.
Hocus POTUS!
Make Presidents Day Gay Again!!!
XOXO Brad and Chris
Deep down, Brad and Chris’ neighbor Luke knew there was an “I” “aye” or “eye” in team. He just didn’t know which one.
ARRR!
Chris’ was getting upset. He just bought those swimmers too.
UGH! They weren’t easy to find the first time. If it weren’t for the sale sign, Chris never would have never seen them at the Speedo Plant Print Plant Factory Store.
The weirdest part was his unit was also missing. How the hell did that fall off? And, how did he not feel something like that?!?
Mystery abounded.
Chris tried to remain calm. What he needed to do was come up with a plan.
After taking two deep breaths Chris decided to give himself two more minutes of searching. If his suit or his balls didn’t show up then he’d call in his boyfriend Brad for help.
Chris then looked up at the sky, crossed his fingers, and hoped to Cher. Sure enough, Chris’ swimmers showed up less than a minute later when he stood up in the shallows and put his hands on his hips.
Ta-da!!!
It was wild! The grass was yey high not an hour ago. What could have happened?
Brad and Chris’ exposure due lack of clothing was usually assumed to be unconsciously on purpose by most. Super attractive people did this sort of thing, at least according to the masses. Outside of sleeping, Brad and Chris in reality were always conscious of their generous exposure because they never bothered to cover up.
At 19 am the two were wide awake and the cutting and removal of the grass was clearly not their doing. Jose tended to Brad and Chris’ garden on Tuesdays, and it was… well, not that day of the week.
It was at that moment Brad’s smart phone went off in the distance. Not a moment after, their neighbor Luke appeared with Brad’s phone in hand. Luke informed the two he got a new pair of specs from the Binoculars Club of The Month Club in the mail. Apparently, he cut the grass as a favor for himself. It was the only time Luke was happy to see the mailman come early.
Luke pointed out that the mailman dropped packages off at Brad and Chris’s just before his ruining any chance of coming over fully loaded. The two were always rocking their morning workout on the front porch in thongs and Luke felt like he was left hanging.
To help rectify the situation, Luke thought it may be a fun idea if Brad and Chris could make their t-backs reversible. It might drop a hint for the mailman to switch up his route. Their neighbor then invited Brad and Chris’s thoughts.
It wasn’t the worst idea and not exactly the best. Brad and Chris tentatively agreed to give it a go once Brad had his phone back. It was weird how it jumped from the front porch into Luke’s hands all by itself. How they missed Luke machete his way through the side lawn, no one could fully understand either.
After a bit of back and forth Brad, had his phone and questions outnumber answers. Chris wondered if there was ever really a question to begin with. Brad couldn’t figure out how Luke got his phone to ring, and Luke forgot why he came over.
Well despite all the mystery that morning, one thing was always certain. Whenever things were off for Brad and Chris, like a bad neighbor, perv Luke was there.
And that he was.
Brad looooved volunteering as candy stripper at Cedars-Sinai!
Wait a second. Was his butt hot or chili?
Oh. Brad could tell this could get real sticky real fast like his boyfriend Chris’ homemade flapjacks. What Brad needed to do was to get a reading from him before his hand got stuck.
Click!
Well, it was a good thing the elevator was headed to the first floor. The ER would know how to unstuck him.
Chris’ favorite color was RAINBOW!! …Obviously, his boyfriend Brad’s favorite color was clear.
We don’t see him. Do you?
Well… That was yet another post that inexplicably disappeared from Tumblr. There have been so many we lost count over here at BradandChris.com.
Thanks a lot censor bots!!!
PS - Our differentiator as the gays is SEX! Sex. Sex. Sex. Sex. SEX!!!!
Stop it already.
No really. Stop. Sex is our thing.
I’m telling you people jealousy is nothing to sneeze at. This kinda stuff doesn’t happen bi-accident.
BTW - have you seen that one? No real accidents there as it’s scripted. Filled to the brim with bad acting. Bi-accident 2 tho... well, there’s a huge difference. We do mean HUGE.
Brad didn’t know what color his boyfriend Chris’ swimmers were. The spread looked pretty good so Chris gave his best guess.
‘Ron Burgundy’ scored BIG time.
source
Brad was soooo not wearing a shirt. His boyfriend Chris must have gone and bumped his head. Could he not see? The sun wasn’t that blinding. It’s only really bad for your eyes during an eclipse anyway. Otherwise things ran normal. Right?
Just then Becky sauntered by blurting nice “Nice blouse Brad!”
That sure put Chris in his place.
Jose can’t see. Too much sun.
That’s ok. Brad can see the new model intern is fine. Really fine actually.
Chris just confirmed peeking around the corner. Jose is packing it.
All is well then.