Chris Was Getting Upset. He Just Bought Those Swimmers Too.

Chris’ was getting upset. He just bought those swimmers too.

UGH! They weren’t easy to find the first time. If it weren’t for the sale sign, Chris never would have never seen them at the Speedo Plant Print Plant Factory Store.

The weirdest part was his unit was also missing. How the hell did that fall off? And, how did he not feel something like that?!?

Mystery abounded.

Chris tried to remain calm. What he needed to do was come up with a plan.

After taking two deep breaths Chris decided to give himself two more minutes of searching. If his suit or his balls didn’t show up then he’d call in his boyfriend Brad for help.

Chris then looked up at the sky, crossed his fingers, and hoped to Cher. Sure enough, Chris’ swimmers showed up less than a minute later when he stood up in the shallows and put his hands on his hips.

Ta-da!!!

Chris felt the need to clarify. It wasn’t being green that was easy. He would never assume to know what being green felt like. The thought was preposterous.

What Chris was saying was that he was easy and it was sometimes difficult wearing green. The tone needs to be correct or it may look sick in the way where you lose weight. Chris was happy with his muscle mass.

This shade of green seemed to work. Did his boyfriend Brad see the difference in what he said vs what was heard? Did Brad appreciate the shade of green of his Speedo? He tried on ten pairs for their neighbor Luke to land on this.

Chris raised his arms to showcase the minimal fabric. Brad saw the difference as well as their neighbor Luke’s naughty nature. It matched his own.

As his boyfriend, Brad always stood behind Chris when things got hard. Seeing the the degree of difficulty mastered in Chris’ showcase pose, Brad offered to get his boyfriends back right then and there. Was that ok?

Chris failed to answer and continued to look for that invisible pencil he dropped while posing for Brad. It was a good thing they took a lot of time to find in the sand. That bend and snap was nothing short of a tease.

To ensure his dominance and a score each day, European heart throb and first male Cover Girl Gustavio liked to say technically true but silly things like, he was ‘only into twinks when he was banging them.’

Oh. That Gustavio. You think he’s bad? You should meet his straight French cousin Gaston! He’s a real bell ringer.

Brad and Chris were in love… with the Speedo Plant Print Plant Factory Store just off the 405 in Orange County. Full coverage practically half off!

In case you’re wondering. Yes. It can never be too gay.

Chris wasn’t from South Africa but he was pretty sure you wanted to go there. (Wink wink)

Just the Fashion Tip #1436

When doing curls at the gym never underestimate the importance of form-fitting.

Yes. That’s form followed by fitting with both words working in tandem. Got that? Most people forget the ‘fitting.’ It is such an amateur move.

Ok. Let’s concentrate now.

Hey …Is that Slater from Saved By The Bell?

Tight look