On The Last Day Of Vacation, Luke Found Himself Exhausticated At The Hotel Pool While The Others Went

On the last day of vacation, Luke found himself exhausticated at the hotel pool while the others went for breakfast. Food failed to make the radar with a drink still in hand. Luke had been up all night partaking in the shockingly raunchy but downright historical five way all nighter w/his ex, Brad and Chris and that gorgeous waiter. Yum. Who knew someone so beautiful could be so dirty?

...Well, all of them actually. That’s why it worked.

Gazing down toward the pool in a haze of reminiscence, a wave of putrid knocked Luke's drink into focus. Forced to look at it, Luke went razor sharp In the fog. It BETTER be OJ in that gad dang MAN-MOSA Brad made.

A chill then another icky wave passed through Luke. It definitely wasn’t OJ. Still, it wasn’t enough to motivate Luke to stand up.

Wow. Either Luke was really exhausted or far more filthy that he thought. A closer look revealed both to be true. But how true?

We’ll likely grapefruit true, but Luke would need to wade through containers of empty juice boxes to be 100% certain. That wasn’t going to happen given housekeeping already finished cleaning the room.

To investigate his boudoir tendencies tho, Luke would need to have more sex. Luckily he was fit, still legally drunk and wearing a speedo. Unlike housekeeping, all rang super helpful. Luke just needed to trade in this Man-mosa for a Bloody Mary, and he could start the reconnaissance right away.

Staring at his glass, Luke was struck with thought. Until this very moment, it never occurred to Luke gratitude could get him laid. He also thought to dump his drink on the grass as it could grow back. Whatever was in this manmosa would likely eat through the lining of the pool, and he needed his deposit back to pay his share for gas for the trip home.

.

MANmosa

Gustavio! What was he doing standing in late summer corn in the middle of May??!

Brad thought he might be going for the half and half campaign. Chris assumed Gustavio was promoting Rachael Harmony.

Turns out Gustavio was the new spokesperson for a poorly circulated newspaper for the illiterate. Apparently, they paid in cigarettes.

Oh thank GAWD! Brad BARELY escaped becoming his and Chris’ biggest fear: PERFECTION. If it wasn’t for that right strap, Brad SOOOO would’ve been there. No one would have believed the pic was real. Boy, that was close. Too close. Brad stopped 4 a minute as a shiver went down his spine. One thing was certain. They’d need 2 hire more perverted blind stylists that doubled as masseuses. Brad would get on that as well as Chris. All this energy needed 2 go somewhere. Chris of course would come first as the stylist had 2 get 2 their next gig.

That was an interesting question. While Chris could not speak 4 ALL gays, he could speak as one. Brad chimed in asking if that made Chris ‘A gay” or “The Gay” as 2 the subject @ hand. Chris hypothesized a higher likelihood of the former considering Margaret Cho herself asked the question. Or would that be the latter? Oh now this was confusing. That’s when Brad turned 2 Margaret and said Chris was indeed allergic 2 shirts and so was he. Margaret then suggested changing detergents.

Better @ getting their feet wet

This whole shower business in wet white cotton while Chris snapped photos just didn’t make sense. Just last week, Brad randomly found himself wearing white briefs to the beach. Just a few days ago, Chris was looking like a nun in white briefs. Now THIS. Neither of them particularly liked the old school style either… and Y again in the shower?!

That’s when Brad realized the conversation was in his head.

Hmmmm.

Chris seemed busy with the camera, but Brad interrupted the shoot anyway citing he had Margaret Cho’s much anticipated laundry detergent recommendation. It was the absolute sure fire needed to pull him out of the chaos.

"Oh," said Chris. "Well, what is it?"

Brad explained Margaret lit it up once again. She made her own laundry detergent from scratch. The woman was AMAZING and even gave Brad a list of ingredients.

Still, neither Brad nor Chris would begin wearing shirts. In the end, Chris boiled down the ensuing twenty two minute conversation to one hard point. It just wasn’t natural.

Brad agreed wholeheartedly clarifying Margaret’s recipe was natural but wearing shirts or pretty much any clothing was not for two hot gay boys barely 22 years of age working as fashion models and gogo dancers in Southern California.

Well, back to the photo shoot then.

Brad and Chris were SOOOO over the reflective lighting. 8 PA’s holding those silvery things seemed excessive.

Chris said even Slim Shady didn’t stand a chance here. Brad had two M&M’s melt in his hand. That’s when Brad asked Chris if M&M’s came in black and white.

The director, Shirley, cut in immediately. “Brad. They DON’T. Why don’t u go wash your hands OK?”

(Talking to herself) GOOD LORD.

“Ok. Take five people. Brad’s washing his hands…. With soap. You hear me Brad?!? One solid minute WITH SOAP. Will someone ensure he gets Siri on the timer…. Please.”

Shirley would ask for a raise that afternoon.