Gustavio - Tumblr Posts
Gustavio seemed a little full of himself. Neither Brad or Chris ever wore a watch. They didn’t have a tv nor felt it necessary to make weather people feel insecure about their jobs more than they already were. They did haute coture runway just as well if not better. So what if they were from America.
While Brad and Chris gallented in greener pastures, Gustavio furiously ran every red light. Admittedly, a feat in itself on an island without a single traffic signal. Now why did we start talking about this goon?
Oh yeah. He’s like REALLY HOT. Allegedly also a person just like us, Brad and Chris. Don't worry. We hold our doubts about us too. Namely who’s who. We can't tell ourselves. That’s how we know somethings real. Whut exactly is real TBD. TBA or just the T. Sometimes Y.
Whatev. Just horny right now. HEY. Who's THIS GUY?!?! He is... UGGHHH! Gustavio.
How the hell do eyes have corners anyway? Can we just NOT?!
It was all smoke and mirrors with Gustavio. He was European and that guy with the reflective light gadget thingy always lurked in his shadow. Brad and Chris wondered how much credit card debt Gustavio accumulated on cigarettes and payroll. Brad guessed $20k. Chris guessed $50k. The old man at the table next to them said it would be $100k, but he pays it off every month. That’s when the man sitting with him exclaimed he’d done the same for Gustavio.
Brad and Chris quickly interjected and asked the gentlemen to pay their restaurant tab. They did, and in the midst of all the peace breaking out the cafe owner asked Brad and Chris to come back for dinner. It would be on the house for bringing in so much business. The host was correct to seat them front and center on the balcony.
No wonder Gustavio ran every red light in a town without one. Brad and Chris declined the invitation. They didn’t want Gustavio’s table. That’s when the owner offered unlimited cigarettes and a personal assistant for a month. That was it. Brad and Chris needed to get off this island immediately. The gentlemen at the next table then offered their yaght.
Brad then asked Chris if they were both thinking out loud again. Chris didn’t know but the restaurant owner gave an affirmative. Brad and Chris became sad. Their dream to join the Secret Service grew that much further away. On the bright side, Brad and Chris could still wear the uniforms.
The rest of them heard but decided best not to respond. No need to take everyone’s dreams off the table. Then again, invisible uniforms might just look great on Brad and Chris. It was dreamland once again for all. Brad and Chris left the island of Gustavio just as it was (in full Secret Service attire via yaght of course).
AGHHH! Gustavio. The man was gorgeous but seemingly EVERYWHERE.
What was he doing in an abandoned building ...and in full coverage underwear? Then again what were Brad and Chris doing there in micro-thongs?!
No one knew. No one complained either.
Brad and Chris couldn’t agree. UPS or USPS?!? Either way, Gustavio delivered a nice package. Hmmmmm. Yeah. Real nice.
Gustavio! What was he doing standing in late summer corn in the middle of May??!
Brad thought he might be going for the half and half campaign. Chris assumed Gustavio was promoting Rachael Harmony.
Turns out Gustavio was the new spokesperson for a poorly circulated newspaper for the illiterate. Apparently, they paid in cigarettes.
Just The Fashion Tip #183.
Gustavio uses CoverGirl’s Exhibitionist Lip Gloss as his go to for a luscious, vibrant lip.
Gustavio was miffed. When exactly during their hook up did Luke swallow his nipple ring? Whatever. Gustavio was ordering delivery from the food store. So far he had Crisco, cherry vodka and prunes. Was 22 too old for Ramen Noodles? That was ageist. Working on that obviously but the damage done. Anything else?
Yes, Gustavio knew of this 'Gaston' in France. He was his cousin and smoked a many cigarettes like him, but always messing with things that ring. Such a silly thing to do. Gustavio on the other hand does the men. When it is really good, he uses both hands.
Of course he got lucky.
“Please… who does not know how to knock on wood? Gustavio, me, I am the expert. People knew this. Come on. What a silly question to say. That is like asking me if I wanted a cigarette, eh? Maybe a light I might need. I don’t know until the time. As for the wood, I am the Master. Just ask Miss Stewart.”
Gustavio then paused to knock on the massive oak desk he casually graced his lean upon. “I knock. That’s what I do. When it is really good, I knock twice. That’s how you know.”
Chris looked in the mirror. Gosh. He needed to front more.
Maybe what he needed was no fly. Maybe he needed a neoprene ring. Maybe it needed to be latex instead. You know what, now he was thinking about it, maybe it was Maybelline after all. If we could just get a final answer there, we could all move on.
With that jingle still lingering in his ear, Chris decided he would check in with their Euro pal, Gustavio to gain some clarity around the otherwise questionable brand of makeup. As Maybelline’s first male Cover Girl, that smoking charmer could easily do an inside job.
Chris paused to think.
That dreamboat Gustavio was a really good in, like a really good in. Now that he was really thinking, Gustavio got in Chris and Brad every time they saw him. Like every time. Was there anyone that man didn’t do twice?
Chris and his bf were always the first to tell anyone it really was that good with Gustavio. The first time was truly biblical, but the second… Well, let’s just say you stop waiting for Jesus after that second coming!
After a smiled chuckle followed by a low and long ‘hmmmmmm,’ Chris caught himself in the mirror once again. He was fronting BIG time.
“Sweet!" His boyfriend Brad would be all over this. The awesome part was that he was gay just like Chris so such gifts never went to waste.
Where was that man anyway? They needed to be gay together for this inside job w/Gustavio…
Chris paused to take another hard look in the mirror. You know, these affirmation sessions were really cranking out some good sh*t.
Gustavio didn’t become Maybelline’s first male Cover Girl for no reason. He was flying high and in demand. Or was he flying, high, and in demand? Maybe he was flying, high and on demand?
It was funny how such tiny things could make a huge difference. It was more peculiar Gustavio still couldn’t place himself anywhere among the three options despite being sober and near the end of a transatlantic flight. Even stranger was how Americans used the term ‘not ha-ha funny’.
Like the rest of the planet, Gustavio didn’t get that. What he did know however, was that he was on his way to America to do a special inside job for Brad and Chris.
The two invited Gustavio to their home in California to drive their piles and then answer some sorted question about make up. Apparently, there’s been a mystery shrouding his employer for decades. The Euro heart throb was always happy to help where it was good and an inside job was where he could shine.
“Maybe it was Maybelline, maybe not. Who can say? Why such a silly thing make a big deal?”
Gustavio admittedly missed the whole controversy and remained strikingly unworried. If anyone could get to the bottom in any situation it was him. Gustavio always came out on top. Always. That was never a question
“To make love well is like a really nice cigarettes, if it was good, I smoked you twice. Thats how you know. But you know this already.”
To that, Gustavio needed a light before landing.
“Gustavio, that’s me, has a craving and is a ready now. It’s no matter I am still on plane. Trust me. I know things. Ok Maybe one, but preferably two guys. No need to know their names.”
Gustavio would prove himself with what’s his head from from the first-class cabin crew and his equally nameless co-worker from economy plus somewhere over Arizona then again in the very brief time over the extreme southern tip of Nevada.
It was true. Only the majesty of the Grand Canyon could carry the echos of Gustavio’s pleasure.
Gustavio liked his meat pink.
To ensure his dominance and a score each day, European heart throb and first male Cover Girl Gustavio liked to say technically true but silly things like, he was ‘only into twinks when he was banging them.’
Oh. That Gustavio. You think he’s bad? You should meet his straight French cousin Gaston! He’s a real bell ringer.
With his own famed fashion label coming online, Gustavio was in it to win it. Handsome, charming, and built like a rock, the Euro heartthrob made making pie as easy as love.
Wait… something’s feels off here. Let’s just hope it’s his shirt. Oh.
Being who he was, Gustavio absolutely loathed anything from the ocean except the hunky sexy Mermen that he so vurrry, vurrry, vurrry badly to meet.