Chris Wanted To Let The World Know Pretty People Felt Pain And Had Bad Days Too. He Just Couldnt Remember

Chris wanted to let the world know pretty people felt pain and had bad days too. He just couldn’t remember the last one… Well, there was that time he was stung by a bee working as a dancer at Coachella.

Deathly allergic, no one took him seriously until his arm blew up like a big ugly red balloon. Pulling the bee stinger out in front of two off duty nurses apparently just wasn’t convincing enough but somehow earned him a $20 tip. Is that a fetish?

Maybe it was the gold-studded snakeskin print thong he was wearing for the mid-afternoon set. Well, thank goodness nurses use Venmo or Chris would never been able to catch that Uber to the hospital. Actually, no… that was earlier this year so it was Chime and a random guy working under the table after collecting the new hire bonus. Good on him.

Do people still Venmo? If they do they must be the lucky one's when it comes to playing customer service chat roulette. That was another bad day for him. That makes two.

That’s when Chris pivoted to ask Brad why they didn’t just grab towels. The sheets will be wet forever.

Well. Was the underwear coming off or was Chris putting it on??! UGHHH! The cues from the photographer were so confusing. Who uses stage directions to snap Grindr photos?! Really?!? If the left hand didn’t make an “L” shape naturally, Chris was pretty sure he would have had a nervous breakdown by the age of 12. That little trick gave him six more months. Take that vacuum suck to quality of life. HA! “Oh man. Did I 4get 2 shave my dinger?!?”

Just The Fashion Tip #183.

Gustavio uses CoverGirl’s Exhibitionist Lip Gloss as his go to for a luscious, vibrant lip.

Brad and Chris thought to celebrate the new elevator in their three story dream house with a pool party. Having lived in Barbie and Ken’s former pad for a year now, what they were really celebrating was the dreaded ‘lump curse’ did not befall on either of them. Ken and Ken’s doctor said if their units didn’t mound over in the first year they’d be fine. In their brand new pink and purple Speedos, Brad and Chris were fine indeed. Exceedingly so. Perhaps they do a similar get up on Wednesday when Ken hosts Hump Day Happy Hour at the local Cantina. It is a hole in the wall but for whatever reason the whole thing just works.

Brad and Chris’ neighbor Becky came over to help the boys figure out who was who after an impromptu ‘who wore it best’ competition went to round two. Well, probably three… Or was that the number of margaritas they had? If so, it might be four but likely five. Do shots count? That’s when either Brad or Chris said he thought they both looked like a 10.

The drunken bantor ended abruptly when Becky announced she’d be back in the morning if they still didn’t know who was who. Right now it really didn’t matter.

Becky then boldly poured herself two brimming margaritas, each with a heavy lining of salt at the rim and lushly garnished with fresh cut limes. She bid the two gentleman ‘good evening’ then walked herself out the door stating to the world she was “not apologizing for it!”

Woah. Becky was on it.

Well then, Brad and Chris might actually like her. That was going to be confusing.

Well that’s cute Chris but where’s our super hot boy model in training? You know… Jose. I can’t see him by any light right now. For whatever reason you’re wearing his suit and I don’t really care how or why. My concern at the moment is the birthday cake I’m holding for him. It’s made of chocolate ice cream and cost $100.