Becky - Tumblr Posts
Here’s my drawing of Becky for the Unsleeping City Art Collab.
Two minutes in, Brad and Chris couldn’t remember who was who. Luckily, their neighbor Becky would be by to pick up the mail that evening.
Was he Brad or Chris??! Damn it. Why did his underwear speak Greek?!? This wasn’t helpful. Hmmmm.
Maybe he’d go find their other neighbor. The one that’s not Luke. Becky. Yes. Her. She solved this predicament once b4 when Brad and Chris crossed wires during that epic and admittedly traumatic staring contest.
Now what did SHE look like?! He couldn’t remember. All girls looked the same. Becky only moved in a few months ago. It takes at least a year b4 any gay man can start telling them apart.
Well, back to Greek then.
Their new neighbor Becky didn’t get how Chris was suddenly Calvin Klein. Was she supposed to play along? Becky never could tell when Brad and Chris were serious. Did they know that’s who she assisted 4? She saw her boss enough @ work thank u.
Turns out Brad and Chris already knew of Becky’s connection. They met Calvin on that legendary flight to Geneva. Unfortunately, the airplane toilet room only fit 3 so the cabin boy had to kick Calvin out. That or he was straight. Neither Brad or Chris could remember. There was a lot going down and covering every base as to sexuality with any shred of efficiency at the very same second the term cis became a thing without any briefs just wasn’t happening.
That’s when Becky asked Brad and Chris if they wore anything other than Speedos and skimpy underwear. Two months now living next door and their matching square cut Prada swimmers at the cooperative garage sale were the closest thing to full coverage she’s seen.
Brad said that wasn’t true. He wore a neoprene harness last week to chop a kale salad he or Chris never ate. That was practically a shirt and the the food perfectly fine but as an American, it ended up in the garbage as it does.
Chris agreed but then stated he needed to backtrack as there was a Geneva correction. It wasn’t Calvin Klein that was in the toilet room prior but Janet Jackson. Chris always mixed those two up. Brad had yet to get that far. Years later, he was still coming down from the baby news. It really shocked Brad.
Chris then mentioned to Becky, by happenstance Brad had two bothers and two gay dads and went to an all boys school. All cards in the deck of life do play out. Most of us forget that. We must consider ourselves lucky when we run across a rare hand.
Looking at her phone, Becky excused herself citing an urgent need to purchase lottery tickets and to throw away the pot roast in the oven. She didn’t want people to think she was Canadian or something else horrific like French Canadian.
What the difference was beyond her, but she knew enough to not get involved with people who think ice is something to stand on. There weren’t that many Canadians and well, duh. Becky then mentioned Palm Springs was a way better Dry as who on Earth would ever build a respectable resort on tundra?
Grabbing her red knit shawl Becky nodded farewell to each of the boys and headed for the front door. Just before she closed it behind her, Becky spun around to answer her own question.
“No one. That’s who.”
Then in an instant she was gone.
You know, Becky was not anything Brad or Chris expected.
Brad and Chris’ neighbor Becky came over to help the boys figure out who was who after an impromptu ‘who wore it best’ competition went to round two. Well, probably three… Or was that the number of margaritas they had? If so, it might be four but likely five. Do shots count? That’s when either Brad or Chris said he thought they both looked like a 10.
The drunken bantor ended abruptly when Becky announced she’d be back in the morning if they still didn’t know who was who. Right now it really didn’t matter.
Becky then boldly poured herself two brimming margaritas, each with a heavy lining of salt at the rim and lushly garnished with fresh cut limes. She bid the two gentleman ‘good evening’ then walked herself out the door stating to the world she was “not apologizing for it!”
Woah. Becky was on it.
Well then, Brad and Chris might actually like her. That was going to be confusing.
“It wasn’t the most ridiculous thing out there. Far from it.”
Brad then reminded Becky so far, the plan for human survival was a cave full of seeds in Iceland and some bunkers in New Zealand built by paranoid rich people with guns. He then restruck the pose.
“Now, what exactly did Becky have to say about the ‘outfit’ again? You know what, it doesn’t matter as no one needs to compete with zero coordination.”
Brad then turned to face Becky directly. “People go to jail for not having an emergency plan. What’s really messed up is nothing exists at the top level for all of us. Why was the human species as a whole so whacked anyway?”
Becky offered to get the next round of margaritas and motioned for Brad to rejoin his place in the cabana. Chris piped in to make them doubles then asked everyone where they should take that conversation. It was a pool day, the snarky could be tabled.
Brad thought it should go to Boise. Chris thought to shuffle it off to Buffalo citing his own disappointment in it’s obviousness. Becky didn’t know where to put it but thought enough to store it in Namibia. It was dry and sparsely populated so would preserve well.
She then guessed a doomsay plan could pass through countless generations unnoticed and undisturbed like Ring Around the Rosie. The coding on that was a bit whacked as the message did not make the impact it could have given it’s significance and pertinence to current global epidemics.
“It was from the Middle Ages so certainly credit could be given there. Did we need to attach trauma to children? It is safe to say there were no guns pointed at anyone.”
Becky went on to state the plague and assumed apocalypse remained daunting. To clear the way for the rest of their pool day while the larger whole got it’s act together, she suggested a temporary placeholder in lieu of a true master plan for the survival of the human species.
“It would need to be super simple and as close to universal as possible. Maybe a song is a good idea. Could we at least say, ‘Don’t panic.’ or ‘Florida is underwater. Think Nepal, not Naples.’
Becky took a sip of a now nearly toasted margarita.
“Of course, people would freak anyway, especially after discovering there was no master plan. It may though give us a moment of clarity before the madness where one out of 8 billion of us might just come up with a resolution.”
Becky further dove in the point explaining the problem even with her suggestions around all this lies exactly where it does in general, surfacing the best idea.
“The car alarm, censor/chat bots, a war on drugs, phone trees, microbeads in soap, beef hamburgers and the electric chair were lauded as genius at one juncture. The fact is the list is infinite, and we know better now. The more hoopla made over something, the more it felt like there was reason to question it.”
Becky then mentioned all the gimmicks around AI. “We really do not know what we are stepping into or better said, already have. For some time, no regulation existed around any of it. AI also did not automatically keep records in the same capacity as with previous technological advances. This was scary.”
All three were already well aware Brad and Chris’ issues with Tumblr stemmed out of bots and a culture difficult to interpret other than hellbent on efficiency and profit ironically at any cost to its own customers.
In an unrealized interruption, Brad interjected his shock, “I so did not associate the censorship with AI until now. That’s…. OMG. I mean… Look at the damage being done to the gay community alone. I didn’t place it. That hardly makes it any less real or hard hitting.”
Becky assured Brad in his reaction and offered some perspective as to what Brad and Chris faced. “There is not sufficient law, social construct, personal protection or compensation around AI. Overall, corporations and those of resource thus far have chosen censorship, ignorance, and to look out for themselves.”
She paused to readjust her composure into a near stand on her knees.
“That IS fear culture. Process exceeds person across the board here, and in the grand scheme everyone loses. You are literally taking the brunt here with your blog bradandchris.com.”
Seeing things materialize for the two, Becky switched gears quickly. “I say keep going. The Oregon Trail didn’t pop up out of nowhere. If you look around, you are not the only gays on the block either. Start your own thing or grind away just as the bots do to you. Eventually people pick up mirroring which is why we all do it where conversations can’t or do not happen for whatever reason.”
Becky scanned the pool looking for their server before returning her attention to Brad and Chris.
“To mirrors, why don’t you start Twittering? Musk is also weary of AI. You might find a home there. It would not hurt to try.”
Brad and Chris appreciated options and the former nodded in affirmation. The each knew they were not helpless, but not unaware any move required significant resources or losses.
As to her suggestion as to where to temporarily store the conversation of a need for master plan for a global emergency, Becky affirmed her choice in Africa. Humanity began on the very same soil, and the entire continent was bothering enough to take time for introspection.
She lived in South Africa for several years as a medical refugee from the United States Her insurance didn’t cover her condition and she needed to go somewhere cheap as well multicultural that came in English with a beach. It was that or Belize.
Chris who’d been quietly sunning at the edge of the cabana suddenly came to life. “Is that where ‘Please Belize’ came from? I’ve heard you say that and caught myself saying it. It’s mad addicting. I’ve tried to keep it to myself as I didn’t know what it meant. I forget to ask every time you are around. The last thing I need to do is offend more people out of the blue.”
Chris sat up to allow for his hands and arms to go full on Price is Right showcase. “I look really good in blue. Just look at my tiny swimmers.”
Becky nodded in affirmation took the last slip of the margarita in hand and motioned for the pool server that came into view to head their way. Satisfied they made contact and on their way over, she called Mars a ‘hellhole’ and reframed Twitter as a definite ‘maybe.’
She then mentioned she got her job assisting for Ralph Lauren after meeting him at the beach in Cape Town. That’s why she came back to the States. Her her stint abroad may also explain some oddities about her.
To bring everything full circle before the server arrived, Becky indicated her regret for using the Oregon Trail as an example. It wasn’t what she intended to say though she could not remember what that was. She pointed out while understandable as a selection, Boise left out half the population inclusive of herself, and that she didn’t know what a ‘shuffle’ was. It did not ring as something particularly evolutionary or bring much to her in terms of inspiration. It did remind her of apples for unknown reasons.
At the end of the day and to rest her case, it was fun to say Namibia.
“Namibia.”
Becky was so on her game.
"Easy?” No. That wasn't correct. “Difficult?”Nope. That didn't feel right.
Brad kept guessing.
"Shoot! What was that word?” Brad could not get it past the tip of his tounge.
“It’s what happens to my boyfriends hee-haw when he wears silk underwear. It gets… blank.”
It was then his neighbor Becky chimed in with the option for Brad and Chis to adopt but not before clarifying the term “hee haw” referred to the Peter of his Mary.
It did.
With that resolved, the conversation then moved on to the newest color, electric gray. Becky couldn’t remember which of the two made it up. There was no way that was real.
Becky predicted a short-lived modeling career for Brad and Chris' neighbor, Luke.
It’s my fashion face. Why?
Is it weird?
Please tell me if it’s weird.
To decompress from Sebastian’s crab infested fashion shoot, Brad slipped into his Y2K Baywatch cosplay per Becky’s suggestion. It always put Brad in a good mood and Becky had a thing for time pieces.
What Brad couldn’t get past was why he was hired to model the ill designed lobster jacket and not his boyfriend Chris. One would think a photographer named Sebastian would hire a model under the ‘C’.
Catching a healthy dose of A-tude in the sails, Becky pointed out that Brad was being a ‘B.’ It took one to know one so…
That’s when Chris shouted, “And scene”from the half bath adding the three should really consider dumping seafood altogether. He couldn’t make it past the front hall half bath after grabbing Captain D’s.
Brad and Becky agreed things didn’t need to progress down the line any further. The use of E was dropped somewhere after the millennium and before the drop of Madonna's MDNA album. Chris then added Molly seemed to be holding on as the go to term diving into this whole rave culture redo.
Brad and Becky found Chris' comment about as insightful as those of a field reporter on the local news.
Chris couldn't possibly have one more mimosa... but since his boyfriend Brad was offering, he liked the first one the best. It had that cute little sliced strawberry thingy on top. Maybe it was spiked w/vodka... Just maybe. Ask Becky if she's still standing.
She wasn’t.
Brad was soooo not wearing a shirt. His boyfriend Chris must have gone and bumped his head. Could he not see? The sun wasn’t that blinding. It’s only really bad for your eyes during an eclipse anyway. Otherwise things ran normal. Right?
Just then Becky sauntered by blurting nice “Nice blouse Brad!”
That sure put Chris in his place.
Hah, I’m still alive! Tomorrow I finished Nefarious and OMG THAT WAS SO AMAZNIG. I SHIP CROW X BECKY
@tordis2kewlforschool I've just drawn one more Crow x Becky recently ;)
Becky's Gluten-Free Slow Cooker Chicken Vegetable Soup This slow cooker gluten-free chicken soup recipe made with chicken thighs and vegetables is a wonderful dish to come home to after a hard day at work.
I watched Becky and Wrath of Becky back to back (Beck to Beck?), was surprised to see Wrath has a better critical reception. Wrath had such a blatant setup to the carnage, and then almost seemed to want to subvert that expectation as much as possible. It was also way more obvious with the humor. It didn't really have *more* humor, Becky was funny as hell, Becky just played it more sincerely which made it funnier.
Kevin James acts competently, and I was fine with it until I learned that apparently Simon Pegg was supposed to play his character originally?? Still, you watch Kevin James get wrecked by an angry blonde, and that has a built-in audience.
Where everything is good.
If I ever get good enough at drawing I would definitely do an animation about the relationship of five and the handler with sex with a ghost by teddy Hyde in the background
I feel like the lyrics go well with those two and their dynamic
Sooooooo day one of me not doing it