I Just Woke Up Again, It's 2 Pm Now And I Haven't Done Anything At All Today.

I just woke up again, it's 2 pm now and I haven't done anything at all today.

I kinda wanna go.back to sleep again but I know I shouldn't, but I don't have any motivation to do anything at all.

Life is just exhausting.

Tw: ed

I think I'm doing not good.

I am feeling nauseous and dizzy and everything is spinning and there are black spots everywhere.

But I've missed this. I've missed it so much...

Getting reassurance before even having to ask for it >>>>

the goal is to become somebody my abuser would never recognize. to gain a glossy sheen of joy across my eyes they had never seen when i was with them. to laugh loud in a tone they've never heard before. to be the warm sunshine and the blooming flowers and so, so much more than what was with me inside the box they buried me alive in. every cell regenerated, every square inch of skin revitalized. you don't know me anymore. you will never know me again.

My head hurts and I want to cry because of snakes. I mean, look at them!!

They are just so adorable

I really gotta star to think about what I want to do.

Because like, someone telling me to do what I want is really overwhelming.

Like, how should I know?? What do I want?

And also, do you want it? How should I know? Yell me yes or no please?? Because I can't read minds and it's hard to decide if I don't know of you want it or not.

I really have to work on that.

But hey, at least my poetry book is going really well. I am sorting through all my poems rn and decide which will actually stay in the book and I already have 23 :)