Tw Ed Implied - Tumblr Posts
Genuinely one of the main reasons I want to loose weight is so when I get a bf I won’t need to worry about my thighs being bigger than his, or like how I want to be light and dainty enough for him to pick me up effortlessly. Just imagine his embarrassing it would be to be too fat for that :(((
Anytime you’re tempted to binge just remember:
You will never regret skipping a meal, but you always regret giving in and eating. Restraint is about mindset. It takes practice to be successful.
Tips to prevent binging:
- weigh yourself
- do a body check in the mirror
- go for a walk/ run
- scroll on tumblr
- look at thinspo
- chat to a friend/ family member
- watch mukbangs (this is my fav tip 🫶🫶)
- watch triggering movies (ill post a list soon)
- pinch different areas of your skin to see where else weight can be lost
- online shopping to plan outfits to buy for your gw
- try on your fav clothes to appreciate the weight you’ve already lost
- watch supersize vs super skinny
- plan low cal meals
- make Pinterest boards to plan outfits to wear at your gw
- look at pics of yourself at your lw
- try a new workout on YouTube
- take your measurements (waist, hips etc)
- bake/ cook your fav low cal recipe (or try a new one)
That’s all I can think of for the moment. Let me know if you want more or feel free to comment any to help others 🤍🤍
Am I the only one who keeps having nightmares about gaining weight?? I wake up crying because of it I hate it so much 😭😭
I want to peel off my skin and grab the chunks of my fat off of my bones before stitching myself back together so im nothing but skin and bones and ill finally be beautiful
Honestly it’s just at the point that whenever I look at food all I see is a bunch of numbers and chunks of fat just waiting to form on my waist
the worst feeling is watching your collarbones and ribs slowly fade away even through the scale is finally going down??? tbh that’s all the motivation i need.
Shouta Aizawa, Hizashi Yamada x PLATONIC KID!!
I crave comfort so here
Tw : Ed /sh
Not many people were aware of your relationship with your homeroom teacher and English teacher known as Mr. Aizawa and his loud husband Mic but they were your dad's. In the beginning of the year they both made it clear no special treatment would be given and you appreciated it a lot.
This also came with its ups and downs trying to fight the urge to hug you dad in front of class after villain attacks ect, as much as they'd both fight it they also struggled to accessively check on you when you all moved to dorms.
Having grown up always close to him after they adopted you from a abusive home. had its drags on you all You weren't entirely sure when this overwhelming feeling of despair started but it felt so shitty, you had no reason to feel this way you had a good life. Loving dads, a nice school and a few friends you hold dear to you. It was so long ago why was this still bothering you.
You remembered a conversation you had with your dad, Mic recalling how Aizawa was struggling with mental health and how it wasn't an effect of things around him but rather his brain chemistry. You looked at your phone debating on calling your family group chat to ask them for help but managed to talk yourself out of it resorting to crying on your closet floor.
After a few minutes of crying you managed to pull yourself together grabbing some clothes and deciding this was all in your head and you had no reason to feel so shitty. Heading out your room you feel a tap on your shoulder "it's past curfew kid" you turn around to see you father Hizashi looking around you you look back at him eyes still puffy "Sorry dad, just needed a shower" you say attempting to walk away when you feel a hand in you wrist "were you crying little listener?" You flinch at the childhood nickname your dad had given you "No, sorry just tired" you say pulling away "either your high or you were crying which one is it kid" He says pointing to your eyes "its nothing dad please just let me shower"
You pull away walking away leaving your dad in the hall alone. You took a long shower, trying to scrub off the memories of your past home. You get out the shower and go back to your dorm laying down on the floor ignoring the fact your bed was no more than 3 feet away. You look at your phone to see Aizawa texted you
You okay kiddo?
Yeah sorry for worrying y'all just a bad day
Are you sure
Yeah
If you say so, me and Hizashi are here if you need us. Now go to bed it's late
The conversation was short and to the point but you still felt the need to want to call him and tell him these awful feelings you were having.
A few days passed when you got an email from an all too familiar name, it was your biological mom. The very same woman who had given you physical and mental problems along with nonstop nightmares for 2 years. You had changed everything phone number, social media accounts anything that she could you to find you. Yet her name is in your inbox with a paragraph calling you names and threatening you. Everything felt so out of control like nothing you did to get away from her was enough. But she knew now, she knew what school you went to. 1-A had been on TV after all, you should have known it was only a matter of time. You looked at your phone blankly feeling your body shake and tears fall from your face. You reached for your pocket knife making a cut on your thigh it felt good like you finally had control over how you felt like you had control over something when everything around you was so chaotic. This was bad you knew that but it felt too good to want to care.
Overtime the threatening emails from your mother piled up only feeding the fear she'd find you and harm you, in turn causing more scars to be formed on your legs. You dads had quickly talked notice to you change in dimanar and talked it over amongst themselves and tried to reach out to you but it was all brushed off as a bad week or a bad day.
This began to escalate more than your lack of interest in food came about you seemed so tired too tired to even eat. This is where they drew the line. No kid of theirs would be passing out in training. They just couldn't figure out how to talk to you about this without you shutting down and shutting them out.
Monday morning training came about and you felt exhausted like your whole body was about to give out. This was only further proven when you passed out before training with Todoroki without him even activating either of his quirks. Both Hizashi and Aizawa rushed to your side as another student ran to get recovery girl. You woke up in the nurses office with both your dad's next to you looking worried out their minds.
"Recovery girl said you'd be fine.. as long as you ate and drank probably." There was a silence filled with worry and a bit of anger
"I'm sorry dad-" you were cut off by Hizashi hugging you, "please don't scare me like that kid" he said holding you as if you were gonna disappear. "Talk to us if you need to kiddo. You know we'll listen. "
You hugged him back going back to your dorm early as you were excused from all classes for the day, sitting on your floor you checked your phone to see another email this time from your biological father. Your mom texting you was one thing you knew in some way she didn't have the gut to actually hurt you but your dad, he'd hunt you down and kill you, metaphorically and literally. You felt a wave of fear washing over you and you sobbed standing up hands on your head pacing around your room crying and shaking. You reach for your knife once more sliding down the wall making a cut in an almost fully healed scar feeling that feeling of control comes back. You made a few more before stopping, taking a deep breath grabbing your first aid kit sitting in the same spot on the floor. Yeah, you felt stupid but not stupid enough to not clean this kind of thing. As you were cleaning up you heard a knock at your door
"Kid? It's us can we talk?"
Aizawa says still waiting at the door "Y-yeah give me a minute please!!" You shout rushing to put the first aid kit away and some sweatpants and throw your knife under the bed you wipe your face, and open the door
"Kid are you okay you look a little.. worse than earlier "
"yeah I'm fine just not in a great mood," you said looking at your phone placed in the far end of the bed. They both came Into your room sat on your bed and attempted to talk to you about what had been bothering you. The conversation went in circles before you placed your head in Aizawa's lap. Your dad Hizashi, was standing at the foot of your bed about to leave when he was stopped by a blood stain on the floor.
"Shouta, I think we should stay till she wakes up"
"hm. I mean I'm not against it but why ?"
He points at the blood spot on the floor and Shoutas eyes widen.
"they are knocked out right now so can you look for whatever is being used ?"
He nods looking around your room eyes landing on a pocked knife shining under your bed.
"here, I'll put it in our room," he says showing Shouta before closing it and placing it in his pocket, as he was above to leave he stopped by the light of your phone along with a name he recognized followed by a scowl.
"Shouta I'm gonna check their phone for something"
He gives Hizashi a confused look but unable to move because of your sleeping form he allows him to do so, you trusted them enough to let them know your passwords but they had never not trusted you enough to go through your phone. He opens the email, reading it and seeing ll the others. He made a face of pure disgust and walked toward Shouta showing him the inbox along with one of the emails it had.
Both had decided to stay in your room till morning, planning to talk to you about this night of unfortunate events. But this was cut short by the feeling of you hyperventilating in Shoutas lap. Hizashi gently shakes him awake and they both attempt to comfort you ultimately failing as you wake you shaking tears forming in your eyes. An all too familiar scene for your dad's to witness.
"it's okay kid, your okay" Hizashi whispered patting your head as Aizawa rubbed your shoulder.
"sorry i-"
"No apologies. We know everything so there's no need to hide anything from us anymore"
Shouta says looking up at his husband
"you could have really hurt yourself kid"
"i know I just - "You were cut off by a knot in your throat as you scrambled to find the words "Everything feels so out of control and I can control this you know?" Shouta nodded in agreement.
"Why did you come to us kiddo?
"i- I didn't want you to worry you. You guys had enough going on.."
You said your voice is still shaking between sobs.
"you'd never be a bother to us. It's our job as you parents to check on you and worry for you"
You all had a long talk about possible coping strategies and ways to communicate if you wanted to talk about something without feeling bothersome. A few relapses were bound to happen and they both knew this but did everything they could to ensure it didn't. Even if it meant letting the whole class know you were their kid so you could go in the teacher's wing of the dorms. You began slowly getting better with setbacks here and there, but by setting up a new email and talking more about what your depression episodes felt like, both your dads were able to help you through it
Yes it's messy I wrote 75% of this in one go and the other half after my shower. And it's like 12:58am
Requests are open but slow
Please reach out if you need to to!!
Being forced to go to the doctor’s today and I’m NOT sick enough yet
I know this sounds insane, but I hate when other people say they’re not hungry. Stop it! That's my thing!
It’s me and my diet coke against the world! Starving myself may not be the most effective coping mechanism but it’s the best I can do
Guess who got their grubby hands on some more Cherry Coke Zero? I honestly treat diet sodas like anti-depressants.
Oh to be a “starves when they’re sad” person instead of a “binges when they’re sad” person because I’m sad all the time.
This is crazy! I feel like I started posting out of nowhere even though I've had a blog since I was 14.
So, I think I should finally introduce myself.
Thank you for reading my ramblings!
why do laxatives make you feel like your insides are tearing apart? I just wanted to shit...I did NOT sign up for a heart attack!
I've never seriously considered doing drugs BUT sometimes I find myself thinking about how quickly I would get to my ugw if I just...
Got an assignment for my nutrition class to track what I eat for 3 days…this is a dream and a nightmare for me
saw an impossibly thin girl who was also tall, had longer hair, and prettier curls than I did
about to starting gnawing at my desk out of jealousy
yes, but also...those are the lyrics to a Pharrell song for a Despicable Me movie
who will you be tonight?
thats the question.
I miss back in February when I had my heartbroken by my best friend and guy I had feelings for… literal heartbreak makes you not eat💔