550 posts
Criticalsexualitytheories - Untitled - Tumblr Blog
"In 1984, a few years before his death, James Baldwin explained to an interviewer from the Village Voice that queers could see the precarity of heterosexuality, even as straights kept it hidden from themselves. 'The so-called straight person is no safer than I am, really. The terrors that homosexuals go through in this society would not be so great if society itself did not go through so many terrors it doesn't want to admit.'
As Baldwin saw it, it is not simply that straight people are suffering and in denial about it, but that heterosexual misery expresses itself through the projection of terror onto the homosexual. One way to think about this is that homophobia is the outward expression of heterosexual misery; a kind of subconscious jealous rage against the gendered and sexual possibilities that lie beyond the violence and disappointments of straight culture."
-Jane Ward, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality
I have a new theory which has resulted from me writing porn on my phone which im certain is old hat to everyone but is new to me
it kinda goes like this
basically, as a person or community writes a kinky story for longer, they will kind of inevitably move up a chain of 'paradigms of justification' required to make the kink continue to make sense.
the pace will vary depending on the kink, but motion is inevitable.
---
so say you decide to write some rope bondage kink. as you continue to write, you are likely to progress through the stages as follows:
Stage 0 - Baseline: i am writing A tying up B, because i want to, A wants to, and B is into it (or isn't, depending on what kinda freak you are). Regular fic goes here.
Stage 1 - Psychological: Why is does A like tying up B? Why does B like being tied up? Normal character stuff. Not yet weird. You're still normal. If you mom found out you were writing this, she'd probably still love you.
Stage 2 - Logistical: How does A afford all those rope? Why hasn't B's hands fallen off from lack of circulation? Getting odd you'd write about this, but fair enough, real kinksters deal with this. You just like to pay attention to details.
Stage 3 - Sociological: You have written the kink long enough that you need it to be normalized in-universe in order to push the envelope. You need a Federal Department of Kinky Shit Why has nobody called the cops when B goes missing for three days due to the suspension bondage setup you researched for two hours last night? Did you just invent a law so its okay for A to tie up the pizza delivery guy? Why is it not a violation of the labour code that B spends all her time literally tied to her desk? This is where the descent into madness begins. You have total freedom now to introduce new characters, but they will probably end up being A-like and B-like because that's your kink and why you started writing in the first place. People laugh when they see the premise, but keep reading.
Stage 4 - Biological: Oh, now you fucked up. See, eventually, you're going to start wondering why the world is filled with people like A and B. You're going to need to answer definitively why B didn't fucking die when you accidentally wrote a poorly conceived stress position in chapter 2. You gotta answer why there's only like 1 A for every 10 Bs. You realize with horror you accidentally implied that shibari harnesses is literally a biological requirement for human reproduction. It's over for you. This is ABO with extra steps. Get thee to a nunnery.
Stage 5 - Synthesis: "Oh fuck, it all makes sense now." Terminal brain stoppage. Death would be a mercy. ---
The thing is, once you have progressed through these stages, you are going to skip ahead in future stories because, let's face it, its incredibly convenient to have these structures laid out for you. If you've gotten to Stage 3 in a previous fic and then start a new one, well, you could fuck around justifying what's going on, or you could simply bring back the Federal Department of Kinky Shit and jump straight to the silk cord. It's efficient and we're all busy people.
I ended up following this trajectory with my first set of Porn On Phone stories pretty closely:
Hot lady am sexy kidnaps!
But why am hot lady sexy kidnap?
How am hot lady afford lavish lifestyle for sexy kidnapee?
Why am nobody arrest hot lady for sexy kidnap?
am reason related to why am no men in stories?
characters am now exclaim 'judith christ!' when stub toe.
Terminal. Put me down like the dog I am.
But the dark realization I had, right about now, is that all the normie fics out there, all the boring straight stuff?
... yeah they're already at Stage 5. The straights are living at stage 5, patriarchy is their Federal Department of Kinky Shit, they believe in alphas and omegas already.
So, put that way, it's actually totally normal and okay to do this progression, right? Like, it's subversive. This is feminist! This is feminist! I scream, as I'm dragged into the van and driven down to the river to be drowned like an unwanted kitten. I'm the normal one! You're all mad!
anyway i started writing a star trek porn parody in an attempt to write 'normal' porn again, hit stage five within 3000 words, had a mental breakdown, and came here to write this.
please please pay attention to what is happening to women in south korea. it was revealed that men had chat rooms where they share photos of women in their family while they groping them and were sexually harassing them and feminists in south korea on twt are asking to spread the word about the crimes done against the women in the country since the media in korea won’t report on it and a lot of international media isn’t covering these issues that have been coming up
I finished A Short History of Trans-Misogyny by Jules Gill-Peterson last night and I really liked it! I think more people should read it, there's a lot to learn from it.
I really enjoyed the analysis of transmisogyny in the book, and how the author ties history and context to it. I found the analysis of how colonialism, racism, and capitalism ties into transmisogyny especially good. I find the term "trans-feminized" to refer to groups that aren't trans women but experience transmisogyny particularly useful. The commentary on American queer history and how the gay and lesbian communities of the 1970's abandoned street queens, trans women, and drag queens was also very good. I also liked the discussion of the rise of the term transsexual, and how there was a particular whiteness and wealth associated with it, and how it was also tied to the respectibility politics of the time (the sentiment of essentially being "normal people" besides the queerness, and the desire for assimilation). This book took a lot of things I'd already known separately and tied them together in a really nice way.
I enjoyed it so much that I'm planning to pick up another of Jules Gill-Peterson's books, Histories of the Transgender Child, at some point soon. I've skimmed through a PDF of it and am interested in her thoughts on the history of intersex children and how that relates to the history of transgender children.
Wow. The patience, kindness and calm communication skills. Outstanding.
From raindovemodel
Thought I'd just check out of curiosity what the waitlist is actually like for the NHS gender clinic in London and
Jesus fucking christ
Her name is Valentina Petrillo and she is a visually-impaired sprinter.
Time to support her, because even without the racism element I expect she will be getting some flak from Awful, Awful People.
saw a video of a woman suffering postpartum psychosis who couldn't be around the baby for safety and one of the comments was "it's supposed to take a village to raise a child" and this really is such a good example of why community support is so important and how the nuclear family fails to address a child's needs. a child's parents even when they are 'good' parents are simply not always going to be available physically and emotionally when needed for a variety of reasons, and the less stress added to these situations, the better it is for everyone, including the child.
I think its really funny when people get mad at the pro-hairy pussy posts on this site (yes including posts hating on bald pussy) and take an angle of “wow everyone is being so weird about shaving now and its so wrong to judge peoples choices like this” because like. Okay. Either you dont fuck or go outside, or you have been doing whats expected of you so long you have no idea how people who dont make the same choice as you are mistreated. Because so many people ESPECIALLY MEN are still convinced simply having body hair is unhygienic and will shame and dehumanize anyone who has it in the most vile and unnecessary way. Like youre seeing so many of these vehement bush or die posts BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE PUSHING BACK AGAINST THAT NOTION its not happening in a vacuum but once again tumblr users are out of touch with what actually happens on planet earth
If you like shaving: congrats, there are millions of people who would not accept you any other way
to the transfems & trans women who feel obligated to perform femininity for everyone else and do things you might not personally enjoy, such as changing your wardrobe to be hyper femme, wearing makeup, tucking, or whatever else you feel you "have" to do in order to be seen as a femme and/or woman: you are a femme and/or woman no matter what you wear, how you present, or how much hair you have on your face and/or body. cis and intersex women defy the conventional ideas of what a woman "really" is every day. you're allowed to do this too. just because you're trans doesn't mean you have to abandon every shred of your own personal taste and identity to suit someone else's idea of what femininity and/or womanhood is.
if cis butch women are women, you are too. if cis women can choose to wear "masculine" clothing, you can too. if cis women can choose to not wear makeup, you can too. if cis women can be genderqueer and gender non conforming, you can too. if cis women choose to not shave, you can too, and yes, this includes your face. intersex women all across the globe grow beards and refuse to shave them. you have this right, too, if you don't want to shave/get laser hair removal/electrolysis , or if you like your facial hair, if it doesn't make you feel dysphoric to have it, if you identify as butch, or for any other reason under the sun.
i met a trans woman today whose name was Michael. she didn't want to change her name. she likes the name Michael. and she's allowed to. this doesn't make her any less of a woman: this makes her cool as fuck. you're allowed to do these things, too. if you like how you already dress or present, if you like your name the way it is, if you like your pronouns, if you like any part of yourself that doesn't align with conventional femininity and/or womanhood: you're allowed to keep those parts of yourself. you don't have to re-write your entire personality for someone else's approval. you're allowed to be yourself.
don't let anyone else tell you what your transition, femininity, or womanhood should look like. they don't know who you really are, and they don't know how varied, diverse, and complex women can be. you are a femme and/or a woman no matter what someone else says.
your body, your choice. always.
USA abortions ban with and without exceptions for rape.
To whomever needs to hear it; there’s nothing wrong with wanting to define a relationship. Emotional manipulators may convince you that you are too reliant on “labels” when this topic arises. “Labels” serve a purpose, they represent a set of clear boundaries, expectations, and appropriate behaviors.
My love requires transparency, consistency, and commitment; never let anyone convince you that this is too much to ask for. If that person cannot or will not meet your needs, you owe it to yourself, and them, to leave.
I know this is like extremely depressing lol but when I look at people I would consider dating/marrying, 1 of the “litmus tests” I have for myself is the answer to this question: “if this marriage were to fall apart, could I see myself coparenting successfully with this person?”
ATTENTION ALL GIRLS: Being a ride or die means staying by a man’s side whether he has $500 or $5. Not when he cheats 10 times and you stay.
gosh does anyone else have a weird little graveyard in their head for friendships of the past?? and every once in a while you just visit it and think about how those people are getting on, knowing you will never see or speak to them again? current mood