Bruce: My Arm Fell Asleep Babe

Bruce: my arm fell asleep babe

Clark: *angry grumbles while turning away*

Clark: it would have been better if you would have told me that you don't love me anymore

Bruce: you know what my chest is still available if you wanna grab the opportunity

Clark: *amused* How many others have you told that cheesy line?

Bruce: well actually none..except for a grumpy kryptonite who is running away from me

Clark: Oh my a kryptonite? Wow, who might be that unlucky Kryptonian, successful enough to run away from Mr. Bad Bat?

Bruce: well well who might it be except for good ol’ Kansas farm boy

Clark: my my now he is good after you just called him grumpy huh?

Bruce: well he is grumpy but of course, he is my grumpy kryptonite good ol’ Kansas farm boy *smirking*

Clark: I must say Mr. Wayne has a way with his words

Bruce: of course my cute grumpy boyfriend deserves all of it maybe even more *winks*

Clark: *rolls his eyes* why did I even say that

Bruce: So shall we go for round 2?*all excited*

Clark: I’m sorry Mr. Wayne. But I can only do it with my husband

Bruce: but I’m your husband.

Clark: I don’t remember marrying a weak guy whose arm fell asleep *bombastic side eye*

Bruce: heyyy

Bruce: what makes you good for my son?

Kon: what is there that I lack? I'm perfect for your son

Jason: I would say he lacks common sense

Dick[sighing]: describe why you love Tim?

Kon: he is a huge coffee addict, the Robin costume looks ugly but I guess those are the things that make him look hella attractive not to mention he has a great as-

Bruce, Damian, Jason & Dick [ready with their weapons on Kon's neck]: be careful how you finish that sentence

Kon[flying out of the window]: HE GOT A GREAT ASS

[An hour later]

Metropolis reporter: today's breaking news Batman and the Robins are chasing after Superboy while throwing profanities. Oh wait we see Red Hood let's ask him about the situation

Reporter: Red Hood what brings you all to the metropolis today?

Red Hood: oh it's just a family outing to promote tourism to Gotham not like we are trying to make Superboy disappear from the face of the earth and bury him somewhere. Now now where did our Superboy kid run off to now?

Reporter:

[In Kent house hold]

Kon: Dad...you know I love you soo much right?

Clark[sighing]: what did you do this time?

Kon: Dad you gotta protect me they are coming for me

Clark: they who?

Kon: the bat fa-

[Window breaking and batfam entering]

Kon[already using Clark as human shield]: they are here dad

Bruce: Clark stay out of this

Clark[confused]: what did he do for the whole bat family to chase after him

Damian: ask him yourself

Clark: so what did you do?

Kon[shyly grinning]: I complimented Tim's ass..

Clark: I mean I see where you are coming from..I mean Bruce also has a great ass..but that's not the point now.

Dick: guess it's time to end the whole Superman bloodline

Jason: deviation in the plan now it's both dad-son duo

Clark: Can I say something before I die?

Bruce[with kryptonite]: you may speak

Clark: Bruce I always wanted to tell you something, you look really beautiful, and last Thursday, you looked amazing in those black undies.

[Collective batfam screaming and fighting] 

Damian: So, when are you planning to ask him out?

Clark: Ask him out for what?

Dick: Oh, come on now.

Jason: Seriously, man? Really, man? Ask him out for what?

Tim: Okay, to break it down in simple words, we want you to ask Bruce on a date... with the future prospect of proposing to him.

Clark: Um... what makes you guys think this is a good idea?

Dick: No way, you don't know why?

Damian: Look, alien, if it weren't for my dad's eyes lighting up whenever he sees you like his life depends on you, your bones would have been broken—at least once.

Jason: Add kryptonite bullets too.

Dick: And mean memes about Superman.

Tim: Plus maxing out your credit score.

Clark: How did you guys go from suggesting ' I ask him out ' to plotting the downfall of my life?

Jason: See, your handmade pies and cakes are to die for, but our Bruce only wants your built-in cakes and pies.

Tim: Jason, no!

Dick: Jason, slay.

Damian: Clark 0, us 100

Clark: Built-in what?? Never mind, I don't wanna know.

I know anything I post with them will immediately be derailed by Superman’s fat tits so here they are all in one so everyone can get it out of their system

Batman/Superman: World’s Finest #6 - “The Flying Grayson” (2022) written by Mark Waid art by Travis Moore & Tamra Bonvillain

There are two types of couples

Flash: hey everyone! Me and Hal are officially dating

Wonder woman: congratulations!! 

Clark: I knew it! See I wasn't lying when I told you guys that I saw them holding hands.

Diana: that's cute

Arthur: I also saw Barry trying to kiss Hal with hot Cheetos crumbs

Diana: ok now that's not cute 

Bruce: me and Clark are going to get married tomorrow. You all are invited.

Diana: wow..straight up marriage? Still congratulations!!

Hal Jordan: wait, you guys were even dating?

Diana: what makes you question that?

Hal: I saw him punching supes with a Kryptonite ring

Arthur: even I saw them.

Diana: you also saw him punching?

Arthur: Yeah, I saw them punching each other with...their lips

Hal: ew..

Dick: uhh..why is Clark umm..sitting on Bruce's lap

Jason: he came as Santa Claus

Tim: not this year too..

Jason: he asked what's his wish

Dick: don't tell me Bruce again asked for a kiss on his stick for good luck

Jason:[snorting] yeah

Dick: [snickering] When will Clark realize Bruce means his golf stick and not that stick

Tim:[unfazed] Not until Bruce pulls out a ring and asks Clark to wear it as some future Christmas punishment.

Jason: But Bruce is slick for asking Clark to sit on his lap as a punishment this year

Dick: I hope from next year they will stop playing gay chicken

Jason: nah I wanna see how far they gonna go before one of them actually confesses

Tim: easy for you to say, I don't think me going temporarily blind on mission excuse is gonna work next time if I again accidentally walk on them

Dick: Lucky you, I had to pretend I had amnesia for a month. It was hell. Imagine pretending life doesn't suck. Lol can't be me

Jason: not like I didn't walk on them and said 'Good boys go to heaven, bad boys go to Bangkok' and boom he grounded me.