Abuse and trauma survivor - these are my stories in no particular order. Content warnings and triggers everywhere. Adult blog; 18+ only.
794 posts
I Am Going Through Some Of My Old Emails. I Think I've Started To Hate Him. Seeing Even Bits Of These
I am going through some of my old emails. I think I've started to hate him. Seeing even bits of these messages fills me with shame, which in turn causes anger.
How dare he make me feel that shitty about myself?!
-
weebtrashhh liked this · 4 years ago -
solemncowboy liked this · 5 years ago -
my-my-look-at-u liked this · 5 years ago -
polyadventuresawaitme liked this · 5 years ago -
stickyhumanoiddreamwinner liked this · 5 years ago -
trail-mx liked this · 5 years ago -
twohornycannibals-main liked this · 5 years ago
More Posts from Enoughdonegone
Self doubt, my old friend.
victims of abuse be like, this person has now made me cry myself to sleep about 30 times, i have flashbacks of things they’ve done and said to me, they know how to hit me right in my worst insecurity and guilt so i feel horrible for days and months, their comments make me feel worthless and like i shouldn’t even be alive, and being around them makes me feel small and meaningless and sometimes suicidal but maybe that’s just me, maybe they’re not abusive? i have to give them benefit of the doubt, what if i’m not justified to kick them out of my life?
I'm sick right now.
She made me coffee this morning and dinner this evening. She just put the kettle on to make me a neocitran and sent me to bed.
This is the twilight zone.
Still
Fifteen years later. I don’t really remember who I was before I met him.
Green eyes?
A friend of mine has a baby. And i really want to feel connected to him.
But I don't.
It could be distance; they live halfway across the country and I know him primarily through pictures. He and I have met, and he is very cute and funny.
But I'm a little worried that I've put up an invisible wall that will prevent me from having a meaningful relationship.
I was the first of my close friends to get pregnant. They all had their children. I didn't have mine, and I worried that I'm jealous.
There is no regret in my decision; it was undoubtedly the right one. But many times I wish things had been different.
It could also just be a trauma response, and that would be completely reasonable.
But I can't help feeling guilty when my other friends gush over pictures and videos of him and I've already lost interest.
I feel like a monster.