F1rstb0rn-auth0r - Emma - Tumblr Blog

Project 2025 would ban anything the far right considers pornography. The far right considers anything queer-positive to be pornography, and they WILL encode that into law if given just a TINY bit more power.

Have queer fanfic (or trad published literature) or pics of your transition, or of two men kissing, saved to your hard drive? If the GOP get their way, you'd be guilty of possession of pornography. Did you share any of it? You'd be guilty of distribution of pornography. Have a sweet coming of age story with a queer protagonist? That'd be child pornography.

Even now, states are trying to make it a crime to be openly queer in public (by, among other things, classifying dressing as the "wrong gender" anyplace kids might see as a sex crime against children). Oh, and Florida tried (and thankfully failed) to impose the death penalty for the above.

This is just one example of the horrors awaiting us if the project comes to fruition.

And the far right is already screaming that any adult who mentions around kids that queer people exist is "grooming" children. Wear your Pride shirt past a playground? You're now a child groomer. Think they won't put that into law if allowed? You're naive.

The GOP currently controls the Supreme Court (which is how they overturned Roe v. Wade) and has a majority in one branch of congress. Imagine what will happen nationwide with the GOP controlling every branch of government, including supermajoroties in both houses of Congress.

Oh, and top GOP officials have also announced their desire to NUKE Gaza, so don't come at me with, "but I can't vote blue because Biden..." Or tell me how you think Gaza would somehow be better off with Trump and the GOP.

In France, the left and center joined together--even though they disagree vehemently on many issues (get two leftists together and they'll have three positions on any issue)--to stop the far right from totally taking over, because the one thing they ALL agree on is that fascists dictatorships are BAD.

Much the same with the UK finally kicking out their own neo-fascist party, the Torries, to install 400 Labour MPs. Not everyone loves Labour's policies, but virtually everyone with a brain cell recognizes that the Torries are fascists, and that FASCISM BAD.

"Every election, they tell us this is the most important election if our lives!" Yeah, because each election over the past several decades has been more important than the one before, until we are now at a tipping point between remaining a fucked up oligarchy with SOME resemblance to freedom, and an outright neo-fascist military dictatorship.

Trump has literally stated publicly his intent to criminalize dissent, use US armed forces against protesters (Kent State, but multiply it by thousands), purge all agencies and stuff them with those personally loyal to him, and use the DOJ to go after anyone he perceives as a threat to his political power, among other things.

And remember the things he did in office, like pulling the teeth of federal workplace protections for queer folks (which Biden reatored).

I don't care if you don't like Biden or Harris. Neither do I. But the alternative is Trump, and anyone telling you not to vote in 2024, or to vote third party, is rooting for Trump, and for Project 2025. Anyone telling you not to vote does not give one single solitary flying fuck about vulnerable populations in the US or anywhere else in the world.

"You're just being an alarmist!" Right. Like I was being alarmist when I predicted the failed Jan 6 coup attempt. Like I was being alarmist when I said the GOP would try to use control over SCOTUS to overturn Roe v. Wade.

Fucking vote.

Creepypasta + Marble Hornets (and OCs) Twitter :)

Giggling, kicking my feet rn

Reblog this if you had to learn cursive writing as a child

If you were ever told or were made to learn cursive writing when you were in grade school. I wanna see how many of you suffered like I did.

WHERE DID THEY GO.

(+transparent version for meme purposes.)

Incorrect Creepypasta Quotes but it's only what my friends who share a first name as them said

Ben Drowned: Jack, stop touching me! ... Eyeless Jack: That's not very sigma of you ... French Teacher: Describe Betty White in French. Laughing Jack: Mort (dead). ... Ben Drowned: Master, Master. Please stop touching me! ... Clockwork: Men are real? ... Elizabeth Vazquez:I don't think Zoya and Nikolai are a good match- STOP SIDE-EYEING ME (But you're wrong!) It's called opinions! (Not when the opinion is wrong) ... Isaac Grossman: Call me... Grandpa ... Lily Kennett: Wait, the essay we've been doing for a month is due today? I haven't started yet, bro...

If you like or reblog this, your inbox will be rickrolled.

Reblog if you think a woman can be complete without children

Y’ALL HAVE TIME TO REBLOG THIS. IT TAKES LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS.

I SHOULD'VE FUCKING KNOWN THAT THE WATCHER APPEARING WAS A GODDAMN THREAT

MARVEL WHAT THE FUCK

Not the Watcher doing his job and stalking X-Men '97

Not the Watcher doing his job and stalking X-Men '97

Please reblog if you think that “they/them/theirs” is a valid set of pronouns.

this post must be reblogged by everyone

Not Karl..

What is your idea for a peni parker spinoff ?

I'm surprised someone asked, but sure. And fair warning, I went for a more comic based idea.

I would call the spinoff "Pilot SP//dr" first things first.

Now, in the comics, I don't know if it's been revealed who Peni's parents or more or less father was. But I'm gonna say for her spinoff, she'll be a female variant of Peter.

Personally, I'd make Pilot SP//dr an animated series like "Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur." Same animation and all. But I'd start it off with six episodes, each 20 minutes long.

Now, the series would start off with Peni living at home with Aunt May and Uncle Ben, on the news it's covering the story of the vigilante Daredevil who took down Kingpin. Peni would continue her day as a normal teenage girl in NYC and head to school. Where "popular girl"- or at least, what would've been considered popular in the early days of fanfiction- would be filming a blog as she desperately wants a job working for the Daily Bulge despite being fourteen.

Miss. Blog Girl would be revealed to be Abby Brock, this universe's version of Eddie Brock. Now, she doesn't like Peni, mainly because Peni un-ironically is better at getting the scoop. Y'know, typical Disney drama that they'll grow out of because Sony doesn't like Disney.

What Abby doesn't realize is, Peni is struggling with a certain but more personal scoop... the death of her father. Barely nothing is known about it expect for he died in some sort of crash that was covered up by S.H.I.E.L.D.

This will lead to her finding out her father was a superhero with a whole anime-styled iron spider suit who called himself "Pilot SP//dr." Now, unlike her comic variant who accepted her fate of taking up her father's responsibility at the age of nine, our Peni would not accept her fate at the age of 14, so when that radioactive-ass spider that formed half of her father's suit's CPU bit her, she was freaking out.

She'll accept her fate when she is forced to stop Mysterio who is gassing New York City in a Scarecrow-type manner.

And that's just the first two episodes, the next two are her training and fighting off villains, while the last two are the final battle.

Remember how Abby Brock is a wannabe reporter with a blog? Well, Abby wants the scoop as she's convinced Peni is the new Pilot SP//dr. Peni, of course, denies it. Abby doesn't believe her so Abby stalks her, and after discovering her suspicions are true, she comes across the VEN#m suit and ultimately becomes it pilot in order to help Peni stop M.O.R.B.I.U.S. who was sucking NYC of all it's power.

Episode five ends with Abby losing control of the suit and attacking SP//dr. Episode six ends with the defeat of Abby but Aunt May is missing.

A season two would include a search for Aunt May and more Spidey villians.

Ideas for future Spidey movies

Posted: February 19th, 2024 Edited: February 20th, 2024

Just saw Madame Web and now I'm thinking Spider-Man so... here we go!

Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man

Takes place after he returns to his universe. Otto is still dead, because he sacrifices himself to stop the machine. Sandman is no longer sand however, so there's that. Norman goes into a coma because he has a better reaction time to the glider, Harry still dies because he blames Spider-Man.

He comes back, MJ is pregnant with Maybelle and this kid named Miles Morales was bitten by a spider while he was away. So he starts mentoring Miles while MJ's ex-fiance, John Jameson returns back from space, again.

This Man-Wolf starts terrorizing the city, J. Jonah Jameson proclaims it's Spider-Man's long lost brother as new employee Ned Leeds flirts with Betty Brant.

Shocker will be in there as well, but more as a minor villain.

Near the end of the movie, after it's revealed Man-Wolf is John Jameson, Peter and Miles defeats him and Jameson blames them for what happened to his son.

Maybelle is born at the end of the movie.

Two end credit scenes. First one has it revealed Oscorp is being currently ran by Liz Allan, who is the mother of Harry Osborn's son, Normie, as she waits for him to be old enough to take over the business. Second one has Norman is a hospital bed looking into the sightings of Carnage.

Andrew Garfield's Spider-Man

Gwen's still dead and Max is in therapy because he tried to help Peter save her but failed.

Now, I'm hoping Sony confirms Morbius, Venom, and TASM take place in the same universe. Because with that, Eddie and Venom will know who Spider-Man is now, and they can go after him.

So, setting the scene, Peter works for the Daily Bulge selling photos of Spider-Man, recently he's been having troubles with Black Cat and now this big-shot from San Francisco comes in and is out for his job.

Also, we still don't get MJ. Peter's endgame after Gwen is gonna be Felicia Hardy. Also, depending if Andrew could convince Sony, Peter is bisexual. And there's be an newspaper shown with the headline; "Spider-Man caught flirting with the Human Torch?!"

Anyway, Black Cat realizing Venom's intention with Spider-Man, seeks help from Harry Osborn, breaking him out of prison. Harry ultimately does help Spider-Man through and through so he won't have to go back to prison and afterwards Eddie and Venom go into hiding.

End of the movie it's shown with Harry, along side Vulture and Morbius and (depending how the movie goes) Kraven the Hunter approaching Eddie and Venom about a Sinister Six. Eddie will make a remark about how there's technically five because he and Venom are one, and Venom will be doing the fighting. Then it's revealed the Sixth member is Mister Negative.

Now, I would want the end credit scene to be of the Jackal and the spider-clones, but I feel as if unless Sony plans to expand this universe, they'd save that for the MCU. So the end credit scene will reveal the Doctor Octopus, a former employee of Oscorp, plotting for the Superior Spider-Man arc.

Tom Holland's Spider-Man

Now, this is gonna be a long one since we're confirmed for another trilogy.

I'm gonna be honest, I haven't seen Morbius, I'm only using the knowledge I've seen online for this, but if Vulture has been transported to another universe because of the spell, I wholeheartedly believe the same thing would've happened to other characters.

For example, the Osborn's and Oscorp. The spell has made it as if Oscorp and the Osborn family has always existed within the MCU.

So, Peter is in college now, attending State Empire University, his roommate is Harry Osborn and his partner is some classes is Gwen Stacy. Peter does befriend them, but he is hesitant because of the whole No Way Home deal. He remember's how Peter-3 mentioned his Gwen died and all that stuff. But he decides to not judge what happens to his variants because every universe is different, right?

Well, he gets an internship at Oscorp, directly under Norman Osborn himself. And like in every other universe before Norman realizes Peter is Spider-Man, Norman adores Peter. He says all the crap of "oh, I wish you were my son." I wouldn't be surprised if Kevin Feige had the comment "if you're gay, marry my son" thrown in there.

Anyway, I do believe they'll try for a more Web-Warriors kinda deal in the MCU. But I don't think the first other Spider will be Miles Morales.

Alongside getting the internship at Oscorp, Peter gets a freelance job for the Daily Bulge, selling photos of you-know-who to J. Jonah Jameson, who is fawning over his son going to the moon which Peter pretends to be impressed. Betty Brant is working there as well which makes Peter nervous.

Now, here me out, Jameson's niece, Mattie Franklin becomes Spider-Woman. And I'm not suggesting that as a way as we need a female Spider-Man in the MCU, I'm suggesting it in a way as how fucking hysterical that will be.

Miss. Gurl overheard her daddy talking to Norman Osborn, knocked her daddy out, take his place during a ritual and gained superpowers.

And I still haven't mentioned who the villain will be. Now, I would say Kingpin, but I haven't seen Echo yet so I don't know his outcome and I don't know if Kingpin will be a villain in Daredevil: Reborn Again. So, Tombstone. He's rising to power, taking Kingpin's place as a criminal overlord or whatever. And like how it's done in Spectacular Spider-Man, he offers Spidey a job working for him, fighting who he says to fight and ignoring what he says to ignore.

Well, Peter, who is training like, fifteen year old Mattie, says no. Not liking this, Tombstone hires Chameleon to ruin Spidey's name even more, mind you, he's still being framed for Mysterio.

Chameleon does some awful shit, pretending to be Spider-Man, and Norman Osborn doesn't like this, and Peter being on high alert, afraid Norman will turn into the Green Goblin, doesn't realize Norman was actually turning his own son, Harry into the Green Goblin.

But it's more or less hinted throughout the movie, we don't see Harry as the Green Goblin until the second movie. The movie ends with Peter and Mattie taking down Tombstone and Chameleon, but only Chameleon gets arrested because Tombstone has bribed the NYPD.

The end credit scene will reveal Ned and MJ remember everything that they went through with Peter, but he was masked the entire time. So MJ thinks she's dating Spider-Man while Ned believes he's Spider-Man best friend, which were once true but Peter, not wanting to ruin their lives, has moved on is now best friends with Harry and is crushing on Gwen.

The second movie starts with Nick Fury talking to a girl slightly younger than Peter. At the end of the conversation, the girl states she has been having dreams about a boy (Peter) and believes him to be her older brother due to the dreams including Aunt May. Before revealing herself to be Teresa Parker.

Now, I should mention, Mattie's not really in the movie as John Jameson will be making his way back to Earth during this time. It will be mentioned in Easter Eggs across the film. And family is busy preparing for his return.

Peter's dating Gwen now and Harry's going out with a model- who is Liz Allan. Peter is friends with Robbie Robertson's son, Randy who is dating Sally Avril and the six are friends. Although, Sally has a tendency to pick on Peter.

Liz suddenly states she's pregnant, and not wanting to be a father, Harry panics and runs off. The same night, Liz Allan is murdered.

Sally, of course, blames Harry, stating he killed her but Gwen vouches for him, stating Harry called her last night, saying he felt dizzy before passing out on the call. She would state she called Norman, and Norman watched over his son while he was out.

Sally calls bullshit.

Peter, devastated, investigates the murder of Liz Allan. He'll try to go to Adrian Toomes for help, only to learn Adrian Toomes has "escaped" prison a year ago.

Not knowing what to do, he turns to Daredevil, who agrees to help him investigate by calling up Jessica Jones. (Now, in the comics, Jessica and Peter were classmates and Jessica had a crush on Peter. But I'm going off the Defenders saga here, so leave me alone). Jessica doesn't really do anything as a hero in the movie, she just investigates, similar to how Matt Murdock was only a lawyer in No Way Home and wasn't Daredevil until She-Hulk.

Now, Peter assuming it was Norman, tells Daredevil and Jessica but he couldn't provide why he was so certain it was him so they tell him that's just a dead-end.

Meanwhile, Harry is going crazy. And in going crazy, he realizes Norman has been drugging him using the goblin serums, so he attacks Norman. During the attack, he comes to the realization that Peter is Spider-Man and assuming Peter is the only one who can help him, he kidnaps Gwen as Green Goblin in order to draw Peter's attention.

However, it's revealed any and all crimes the Green Goblin committed, he didn't actually commit, and instead Tombstone, working with Norman, did. And everything Harry thought he did was just nightmares the serum was giving him.

When Peter states he can't stop what the serum is doing to Harry without proper research, Harry panics because the nightmares will turn into a reality soon if nothing can stop them, and within his panicked state, he drops Gwen.

Peter gets shot in the leg by Tombstone before he could jump to save her, so he shoots a web instead. It catches her before she hits the ground, but whiplash is a thing.

And voila, MCU Gwen Stacy meets the same fate as TASM Gwen Stacy. Leaving Peter more devastated then ever as Harry absolutely loses his mind. And he runs away, just as Daredevil arrives to the party and knocks Tombstone out, while also stopping Peter from killing him.

The movie ends at Gwen Stacy's funeral as Sally is determine to kill Harry Osborn. At the funeral, Teresa does approach Peter, claiming to be his lost sister and that's how the movie ends.

We do get two end credit scenes though. Nothing to do with Ned and MJ however.

First of all, we see Harry leaving a therapy session with Doc Samson before getting confronted by the Venom Symbiote that was left behind.

Second, we see Professor Miles Warren, a pedophile, who is devastated by the lost of his student he didn't get to assault, Gwen Stacy. So, with the example of Spider-Man's DNA, he had started the process of cloning Peter Parker.

The third movie starts out with Peter having coffee with his presume sister, Teresa. She explains that they're parents were S.H.I.E.L.D. agents killed by HYDRA, and she was born just before HYDRA killed them by hijacking the plane. When Peter asks why Fury didn't tell him, Teresa questions why Fury would tell him that if they never met before revealing Fury only arrived back on Earth a year ago, and the "Fury" stepping in was a Skrull, confusing Peter.

Now, this would be the movie where we finally get to see MJ and Ned fully again. As in, Ned got a job at the Daily Bulge and has been really interested in becoming Peter's friend.

But after everything, despite his longing to be friends again, Peter figures he can't befriend Ned or fall in love with MJ again.

Now, MJ being MJ, will realize Ned's new coworker is Spider-Man easily. Simply because she has came to the conclusion Spider-Man no longer trusts people and with that, there's no other way Peter could get the photos he gets of Spider-Man.

She will confront him, and he'll break down, revealing everything to her. She'll comfort him, telling him everything will be okay. Now, if this was comic Mary-Jane, she would've slapped him and told Ned, causing him to become the Hobgoblin. But this is MCU Michelle Jones, so she doesn't and Ned will not become the Hobgoblin until the next Tom Holland's Spider-Man trilogy.

Instead, we get Harry Osborn back as Venom. Now, Venom, presumingly being the same as Tom Hardy's Venom, has probably realized what Norman Osborn has done. And is full-on targeting him. Hey, Venom might want Spidey, but he hates toxic daddies.

However, we would be getting our very first live action version of Sally Avril's Bluebird. Now, I don't know anything about Bluebird, just being honest. But I do believe, with the murder of Liz Allan, she will attempt to kill Harry Osborn.

Now, Bluebird and Venom are going all out against each other while Norman Osborn watches, fucking drinking tea. Mattie will make her return as Spider-Woman, and now being either sixteen or seventeen, with still little experience, she'll fail miserably before getting unmasked and killed by a clone of Spider-Man while Spider-Man arrives.

This sends everyone into a shock. Doctor Strange will make a cameo where he just turns the TV off and states he needs to go to bed.

Spider-Man, Bluebird, and Venom did not like the idea of a sixteen-seventeen year old getting murdered by a clone and team-up to fight the clone while John Jameson's Man-Wolf instincts kick in at the death of his cousin on live television and generally, as Man-Wolf, he doesn't know who the fuck to blame, so he attacks them all, and wins.

Spider-Clone goes back to Miles Warren while Spider-Man, Bluebird, and Venom take cover at MJ's place.

Peter and Sally are shocked to discover each other's identity. And Harry breaks down, explaining everything. Peter and Sally do not trust him, but MJ threatens them so they allow him a second chance but don't allow him to help which Harry agrees too.

The final battles goes with Peter taking down his clone while Sally arrests Norman with the help of Teresa.

The movies ends with She-Hulk making an appearance talking to Man-Wolf. Harry, now going by Agent Venom is getting training by Peter. And Sally makes friends with MJ, Ned, and Betty.

We get the end credit scene of the Spider-Clone running away from Miles Warren and taking up the name of Ben Reilly.

Now, depending on the events of Kang Dynasty and Secret Wars, we would get a third trilogy based off of the Clone Saga. We'd probably get it where Tom Holland doesn't or can't act in one of the movies so Ben Reilly becomes Spider-Man for a movie, we'd get Kaine Parker and see him fight with Ben. I'd personally like it if we get Jessica Drew as Jessica Parker instead, y'know like Ultimate Spider-Man (comics), and we'd get Mattie Franklin revived. And within the Clone Saga, we'd get a bunch of other Spider-folks along with superheroes that more or less only Spider-Man comics.

Marvel: Why do women only like jerks who treat them like shit?

DC: Why do guys only want bitchy bimbos who walk all over them?

Meanwhile in Image Comics (Invincible):

Black Samson: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!

Rex Splode: FUCK YOU!

BNHA: Why do women only like jerks who treat them like shit?

DC: Why do guys only what bitchy bimbos who walk all over them?

Meanwhile in Marvel: ...

April Carter/Captain Liberty: WHY ARE YOU BUY CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!

Clint Barton/Hawkeye: FUCK YOU!

me to @belladonnavtamie10

I really love her work, especially on Wattpad

do y'all also have mutuals whom you’re actually a fan of? like everytime u see them on your dash u just,,,,, “u go mutual that’s my mutual!!!!! i love u mutual!!!! i can’t even believe we’re mutuals i don’t deserve u!!!! keep being u mutual!!!”

I just realized in the Marvel universe, if they were to include mutants into certain movies, certain people in the Marvel universe would consider it "woke." It's hilarious to me because every anti-"woke" person I know are fans of mutants and meta-humans and other minorities that get hated on in their fictional universe.

Taylor Swift vs. Kayne West

Please, please end my entire (class) year's debate.

Giving y'all a week.

USM! Norman Osborn: I will create an arachnid army that is under my control! MSM 2017! Norman Osborn: 😰🤬

Spiderverse Rant

So.. I’ve been seeing people talk about Ultimate Spider-Man (The cartoon one, not the comic one) being in Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse.

I highly doubt that whichever Spider-Man that was, it wasn’t USM Peter. I believe if it was USM Peter, he would’ve had a cameo like Spectacular Spider-Man, since USM Peter traveled the multiverse multiple times.

And I highly doubt he would be against Miles, I personally believe he would help Miles. So I hope in Spider-Man: Beyond the Spiderverse, we see the Spider-Gang pop up in USM and USM Spider-Man and the Web-Warriors help the Spider Gang. I would even be done to see MSM2017 Spider-Man and his Web-Warriors helping out as well.

And yes, I was highly disappointed to see Spectacular Spider-Man be completely fine with letting people die just because a computer said so. Like how do we know Lyla ain’t algorithm created by the TVA or even Kang to keep everything in check.

Like, I don’t know what’s Marvel and Sony’s situation right now, but with Kang Dynasty and Secret Wars coming up, and even all the multiverse openings within the MCU. It is literally called “The Multiverse Saga,” so you cannot tell me something isn’t connecting here!

Countryside Spidey

(Slight Hobie Brown/Spider-Punk x Spiderwoman!OC) (Little bit of Yandere Green Goblin! OC x Spiderwoman! OC)

Warning: A bit mature themes in the beginning

Emma Ritter spent two years in denial and grief. She was seventeen, turning eighteen in a month. When she was fourteen, she was bitten by a radioactive spider. 

Two years ago, her best friend, Henry Owens- betrayed her. She was going into her second year as Spiderwoman, the masked heroine when she so-called “figured out” the identity of perverted Green Goblin. Her conclusions came to Nickolas Owens, Henry’s father and CEO of Owen Industries. She never considered the possibility of Henry actually being the Green Goblin.

She went to confront Nickolas on November 7th at 10:37 PM EST. It was raining heavily that night. When she arrived on scene, she found Nickolas’ head on a little fancy plate, on a nicely set table. Around her lied different parts of Nickolas, and his blood seemed to have repainted the walls a scarlet red.

On the table where Nickolas’ head, fixed with a horrified expression, a candle was lit. Two wine glasses were set down, and then filled with Nickolas’ own blood. 

Emma looked at the man responsible, completely mortified. Henry Owens, her best friend, grinned at her. His black hair was drenched wet, indicating he just took a shower. He wore black dress pants, and a white dress shirt. His green eyes stared at Emma, with a rather lustfully and obsessive glint in them, rather then a murderous psychopath who just murdered his only family.

Henry walked up to Emma, and cupped her face with his firm hands, forcing her to look at him. He smirked when her lips parted. “My, my.” He giggled. “You showed up in your Spidey-Suit? Darling, I find that rather... hot.”

Emma felt beyond furious and terrified. She fought Venom, Vulture, Doc Ock, Electro, Rhino, Kraven the Hunter, Kingpin, and even Doctor Doom! Why would she so terrified of her own best friend who went completely nuts?!

“Why do you look terrified? I thought you wanted him dead.” He chuckles. “I overheard your conversation with Willow, how you were so convinced he was the Green Goblin! Oh, how you planned to confront him and kick his ass. Sorry, darling, I beat you to it.”

The rest was a blur, all Emma could remember was Faith Harrison, aka Black Cat stopping her from punching the lifeless corpse of Henry Owens and forcing Emma to flea the scene both the cops arrived.

Now here she was, almost three years later. Almost eighteen with long, light brown hair wrap-up in a messy bun with her hazel eyes clearly tired. She wore her black-and-red Spidey suit, but with her mask off. She also wore grey sweatpants and a grey cardigan sweater.

The brunette fell onto her Grandparents couch, absolutely exhausted. The week had been her running around stopping petty thieves, college interviews, homework, and managing to find time to eat and sleep and shower.

She was back in her home state of Sweet Minnesota. Visiting her beloved grandparents in their little town, called [REDACTED].

Her peaceful moment, like all her others, was cut short, this time by her grandmother letting out a fearless shout, “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU COW LOOKING MOTHER-” It was clear where this universes’ Spiderwoman got her short temper and vocabulary of insults from.

Emma quickly jumps up and pulled her mask on while running into her grandparents bedroom. Her grandfather was out fishing with her uncle and father. Her mother, aunt and little sister were trap-shooting.

“Wow! Jesus!” A completely white man from head-to-toe expect for the small black spots across his body was covering his head as Granny Donna smacks him with a broom. “You are a very vile old lady-” 

The Spotted Man was cut off by getting round-house kicked in the face by Spiderwoman. “Grandma, are you alright?” She asks her grandmother, concerned written across her face.

“Oh, I’m fine, dear.” Donna Ritter smiles softly. “Now, I’m gonna go make some waffles. Deal with him, won’t ya?” She left the room. Unbothered Queen.

Spiderwoman opens the bedroom window, and toss the Spotted Man outside. She then jumps out and lands on his stomach before doing a front-flip off of him.

“I’m really getting tired of you Spider-people.” The Spotted Man mutters under his breath. 

Spiderwoman raises a brow. “Other?” She chuckles. “Buddy, I’m the one and only Spiderwoman. There is no others. No Spider-Man, no Spider-Girl, no Spider-Boy. Only me. Maybe in some other universe but not here.”

“I was talking about the Spider-people from other universes!” He snaps. “Spider-Man from Earth-1610! He turned me into this! Just look at me!”

“Uhh, do I have too?” Spiderwoman winces.

“Excuse you!? Look at you! You’re wearing sweatpants and a sweater over your suit. And what is that? A messy bun? How lazy are you?!”

“Bitch, I haven’t slept in over four days! I’ll kick your confused-zebra looking ass-”

“What is it with the people in this universe and swearing every second they get-”

 Suddenly an yellowish-orange portal appears above him and four other spider people land on top of him.

“Uh, where are we?” A Spider-Man dressed in a full-body black Spidey suit with a sprayed-painted red logo on it.

“Earth-16730.” The only Spider-Woman of the group tells him, she wore a black and white Spidey suit with a hood.

“Oh, hello this world’s Spiderwoman!” An Indian Spider-Man waves at me.

“Is she wearing sweatpants?” The first Spider-Man asks.

“Yes, she is.” Emma Ritter cross her arms. “Also, who the hell are you guys?”

“Where the hell are we?” Spider-Woman, looking around. “Like where in your Earth are we?”

“Countryside Minnesota, Miss. Lady.” 

“You fight crime in Countryside Minnesota?” The first Spider-Man asks.

“Only during Christmas. For the rest of the year, I’m stationed in the twin cities. It’s a lot easier to swing and shit.”

“Yeah, no shit.” 

“Wasn’t there four of you? Where’s the fourth one?” Emma asks, looking around the yard. The other three don’t say anything.

“I’m right here, Luv.” Said the fourth one from behind Emma, she turns around and is face to face with a punk. A Spider-Punk, eating a waffle. “Your grandmother’s quite nice, Luv.” Man was quite literally flashing between pink and red.

“I know she is...” Emma stares at him, wondering what the fuck is going on.

Spider-Punk suddenly grabs her by the hand and twirls her around. “And what’s your name, Luv?”

“Emma... Emma Ritter.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

Wade Wilson/Deadpool: Would you slap your best friend in the face for ten million dollars?

Emma Parker/Spiderwoman: I'd roundhouse kick you in the face for free.

Deadpool, tearing up: I'm your best friend?!

Am I the only one who found Orion in Young Justice hot?!