Sausage: Sometimes I Talk To Myself For No Reason.

Sausage: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Sausage: Me too!

Pearl, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Sausage: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Joey: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!

Shelby: …

Oli: And what do I get out of this?

Gem: I'll give you a dollar.

Oli: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Gem: How about two dollars?

Oli: You got yourself a deal.

Shelby, after the fifth jumpscare: Why are you like this??

Xornoth: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

Xornoth: I feel like doing something stupid.

Joey: I’m stupid, do me.

I started off the life series from Lizzie's Last Life, and I swear the Flammable Trees moment gets funnier each time. It gets even better when the miscommunication hits.

Cleo: Just joking around with her new neighbor and ally.

Lizzie: Actively being threatened and intimidated.

A lot of tissue paper.

More elaboration:

Etho is handed a poor quality kakashi costume.

Joel gets a scratchy wizard beard and shrek ears.

Pearl walks in with a hoodie, everyone is perfectly fine with this. When she goes red, she drenches herself in fake blood.

I also raise you: Mumbo has a poorly cut out paper handlebar moustache taped to his face. Halfway through the performance, it gets ripped off and he screams really loudly.

Scar's wizard robe has the texture of and sounds like a purple chip wrapper.

Autumnwhistles idea for a last life musical made me think about the costumes and the funniest ways to make the costumes as crappy as possible.

ex: Scott's halo is a bunch of glow sticks tapes to his head that he has to hide between scenes so they can't see him entering/exiting.

or: Cleo gets the absolute worst makeup job.

or: The Watchers are just the tech crew who put a mask on before being onstage.

All the budget goes to giving Ren the most elaborate outfit.

After Double Life I can no longer take Soulmate Au's seriously. Completely different premise? Nope. Entirely separate fandom? Nada.

Divorce Quartet Incorrect Quotes

Scott, throughout Double Life: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

Pearl: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

Cleo: Are you mad?

Pearl: No.

Cleo: So sharpening your knives at 3 in the morning is just a hobby?

Martyn: Can I ask a dumb question?

Cleo: Better than anyone I know.

Pearl: This date is boring!

Cleo: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Pearl: Then why did you invite me?

Cleo: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Cleo I'll do whatever I want!

Martyn: Pearl just said "I have an appetite for destruction" and then they reached down and untied my shoe.

Skizz: Who's in charge here?

Martyn, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

Pearl, texting Scott: *sends a voice message*

Scott, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent?

Pearl: No, don’t worry, just listen later.

*later*

Scott: *presses play*

Pearl's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

Personal headcanon for the winners: They only remember the season they won. This is only so LL!Scott and DL!Pearl can meet.