Sausage: Sometimes I Talk To Myself For No Reason.

Sausage: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Sausage: Me too!

Pearl, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Sausage: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

Joey: If it pleases the court I would like to say that my opponent is TALKING SHIT!

Shelby: …

Oli: And what do I get out of this?

Gem: I'll give you a dollar.

Oli: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!

Gem: How about two dollars?

Oli: You got yourself a deal.

Shelby, after the fifth jumpscare: Why are you like this??

Xornoth: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

Xornoth: I feel like doing something stupid.

Joey: I’m stupid, do me.

Life Series Incorrect Quotes

Bdubs: I wasn’t that drunk.

Impulse: You colored my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.

Bdubs: BECAUSE YOU ARE!

Scar: All in all, a 100% successful trip.

Bdubs: But we lost Etho.

Scar: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

Scar: BigB, I screwed up, big time.

BigB: Scar, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

Martyn: If bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why can't my soulmate love me?

Grian: I thought I was going to have to yell at you, but now I think I should hug you.

Tango: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can’t ‘legally’ be a lawyer if your license is ‘cut out of a cereal box’.

BigB: Hi, who's this? Grian changed all of my contacts to mythical creatures.

Bdubs: What's mine?

BigB: Gnome.

Bdubs: THEY'RE SO MEAN, I'M NOT THAT SHORT!

BigB: Oh, hey Bdubs.

Bdubs: FUCK!

*Cleo is crying after Last Life betrayal*

Etho: There there, Cleo.

Cleo, still crying: Thanks, but how did you get into my base?

Etho: Great question—

Scar: What do we think of Martyn?

*pause*

Ren: *sighs* Nice pal.

Etho: I think they're gay.

Okay but it would be so funny if Gem won from a lore perspective.

The Watchers invite ginger haired bi lady no.2 in limited life as a joke, then she destroys Etho. So they think, hm, lets invite her again. And she destroys everyone and their mother and laughs.

Cleo: Scar and Bdubs just insisted Etho and I remember a code word in case we’re ever confronted by their clone or a cyborg doppelgänger and we’re not sure which is the real them and which is the imposter.

Cleo: Some families have a fire escape plan, but not us.

Impulse, confused and exasperated: Mumbo, how do you plan on telling a bear to go vegan?

Mumbo: Politely

Life Series/Hermits (+Skizz) Incorrect Quotes

Grian: Apparently, it was Rude™ of me to pitch in my two cents on a conversation I happened to overhear, despite agreeing with them.

Grian: On an unrelated note, I am no longer allowed in the ceiling vents.

Impulse: Go on, give Skizz a compliment. Gem: How do you expect me to do that? Pearl: Just say something that you wish someone would say to you. Gem: Uhh… You are now unbanned from Free Ham Sandwich Day! Skizz, sobbing: Nobody’s ever said that to me before!

Scar: I said ‘No’ to drugs, but they wouldn’t listen.

Skizz: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated. Pearl: Killed without hesitation.

Bdubs: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Cleo: I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Bdubs: I said within reason, Cleo. How about I murder that guy? Cleo: So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't? Bdubs: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?