girlinwriting

𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐

my mind in poems

42 posts

I Wish I Could Go Through Life Without Needing To Speak

i wish i could go through life without needing to speak

like a model, an enigma, someone who wisped in and out of rooms

i could focus all my energy on cultivating a persona

speaking with my scarves, coats, dresses, and gentle smiles

but it wouldn’t do, i was looked at strangely when words didn’t flow easily through teeth

i was the odd man out by way of silence

i had to have opinions, a certain garishness, to prove my humanity

to prove i’m not one of those girls

who sits still, quietly

and aren’t people enough

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I’m scared of men and I have a crush on nearly all of them They make my stomach flip with just a bit of eye contact How did I never make it past the sixth grade? They could tick none of the boxes But if they have kind eyes and give me a smile I might just concoct a love story It’ll buzz around and tap me on the shoulder I can’t get rid of it Every time they see me Try to be kind, try to make them feel at home But I’m flipping with fear, humming with adoration It’s always the ones with the baggy jeans, the vintage tees, the tattoos and recklessness And you know you’re not good for me Yeah you’re no good for me And I’m better now But we can still be friends I have to try my best and fight this little mind of mine But we can be friends Yeah we’ll be good friends

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masculinity is the same thing that hurt me and that will protect me

it splintered off bone and it’s what will piece me back together

it’s what tattered my envelope and what will hide me in the rain

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but the right men heal me, the right men love me

the right men shelter me

like i never could

and i am safe

in their arms

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