Give-me-the-lamp - Lamp - Tumblr Blog

Bet you can't guess her favorite color...it's purple 💜 💜💜

My first official art post :)

Tattoo :)

Alien 1: Human what is on your skin?

Human: Oh, it's a tattoo I got it today. I hope it last for years.

Alien 1: why would humans get something that last so long on, on your skin?

Human: tattoos are a way to decorate our bodies and show who we are as a person. They have deep meaning, and a lot of thought should go into it before getting one.

Human 2: GUYS LOOK I GOT A TATTOO OF A FROG RIDING A BIKE!

Weather flunk

Alien1: Human your wapp (weather app) says it's going to be 80 today. Why are you wearing a sweater?

Human: first off, don't call it that. Second, it's March and right now the weather is as predictable as a kid on sugar.

Alien1: what do you mean?

Human: (opens door to blizzard) hm, looks alot warmer than what I was expecting.

Impulse control

We as humans go through many bad thoughts that we know is bad but want to try it anyway.

Alien 1: Human I've made a mind reading helmet so I can understand your species better.

*human is oblivious to the alien as they put on the helmet*

Alien 1: okay, time to test it.

Humans thoughts: this deadly chemical could kill me with one touch... it looks so delicious though

Alien 1: you know what screw understanding your kind I prefer the monkies

Hi happy new year

Surprise texture

Food tast good and have many textures to go along with it

Human: alien 1 you have to try this it's sooo good

Alien 1: Um, I'm not sure. Remember last time I ate human food? I'm still picking out glitter.

Human: I'm sure

Alien 1: okay...

Human: so what ya think?

Alien 1: it's really good but it's too crunchy

Human: its-it's jello

Reminder that I'm not dead.

Surprise crunch in soft food is true horror

Make believe

When we tell stories we tend to stretch the possibility of it ever happening in real life

Human: and then they flew off into the sunset

Alien 1: well that can't be correct giraffes don't fly

Human: well it's make believe so I say they can

Alien 1: but your "make believe" is impossible and will never happen in real life

Human: just let me live in a world where me and Ryan Reynolds are married okay!?

Alien 1: I don't think that's even possible in make believe land

Game on

Do t you hate it when you lose a game but still play it well...

Alien entering humans room to them screaming

Human: THAT STUPID ONE SHOT GOT ME AGAIN

Alien1: Human if you hate the game so much why don't you stop playing

Human: cause I will not accept defeat from a 5 year old high on sugar

Alien 1: it can't be that bad-

Human: FUCK YOU CANDLELICKER123 YOU CAMPING WHORE

Alien 1: maybe not...

Dating

What if date is a thing only humans do

Alien: Human what'd valentine's day?

Human: It's when people go on a date with their partner

Alien: date? Never heard of it

Human: well it when you spend time with someone you love and if you do it long enough then it may lead to marriage

Alien: so you spend your most of your life not only trying to find a partner but you have to take them on alot of dates that leads to you vowing the rest of your life together.

Human: technically yes

Alien:...you might want to look harder then

I don't really know how inktober works so here's just something I put together for holloween

"Till death do us part"

Followers

This is just came to mind after just getting a follower on here so yay

Human: Alien 1 look I just got a new follower on tiktok

Alien 1: looking around* I don't see anyone following you, maybe somethings wrong with your eyes

Human: No on social media where people watch you through your daily life

Alien 1: theirs people watching us!?

Human: No they're just-

Alien 1: COME OUT HERE! IM NOT THAT SCARED OF YOU!

Hi inasmallhouse who gave me this idea just by following me and thank you for the support

Accents

It is easy to tell the difference between languages but even with the same language some have strong accents

Alien 1: Human why do you and Human 2 sound different yet you both speak the same language?

Human: well they grew up in a different part of the country

Alien 1: a short distance apart makes you sound THAT different?

Human: come on their accent can't be that strong

Human 2 busting into the room

Human 2: HAVE ANY OF Y'ALL SEEN MY MOTHERFUKIN HAT!? I CAN GO HORSE RIDIN WITHOUT IT

YEEEE HAWWW

History

The saying "Only God can judge me" goes into any topics politics, religion, my Brower histo-

Alien 1: Human I need help

Human: SHI- *slam*

Alien 1: Human why did you close your device when I entered

Human: No reason

Alien: Human show me what you've been doing

Human: No, my actions are between me and God

Alien 1: YOUR ATHEIST YOU HAVE NO GOD

Human: YOU WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE

Alien 1:THEN ILL TAKE YOU DEAD NOW GIVE THE COMPUTER

Months without posting and I nothing to say you can judge me neither :]

Dark

We fear the dark even if we know there's nothing in it we just do

Alien 1: Human why are you stand near the lights witch?

Human: *mumbling*

Alien 1: human...

Human: NOW!

Human dashes to the room as they turn off the lights

Alien 1: Human what's wrong is there something here!?

Human: ney, the demons of the dark has lost again and will never catch me

Alien 1: why are you like this?

Demon: you've won this round jerk

Enemies

Some humans have a list of people they like and hate, they will sometimes do anything to stay away or get close to one

Alien 1: Human we need a trained technician for this mission here's the list of candidates

Human: hate you, hate you, you're creepy, and you stole my lunch, we have no one to take on the mission

Alien 1: well what about them?

Human: they stole...my heart

Alien 1:...THEY DID WHAT!?

Weather

When we're told to had more layer to our clothing for cold weather we take it as a challenge

Alien 1: Human, the temperature outside is very cold for you and can make you sick, maybe you should add some more clothing perhaps

Human: no

Alien: but human-

Human: The cold is a mere foe, and adding more will only prove defeat, and with god as my witness I shall not be bested

One day later

Human with thermometer in mouth: *sniff* how did I get sick?

Alien 1: Ask your witness

OKAY don't know if this good but hey it's all I got rn soo...

Red alert

We as humans have learn to not give any, when it came to emergencies so here...

Speaker: RED ALERT RED ALERT THERE IS A FIRE IN THE SHIP

Alien 1: Human hurry we must evacuate the ship

Human: No, my pot pie is 1 minute from being done and I'll be damned if I miss lunch again

Alien 1: Your existence is worth more then food

Human: You take that back

Got this idea from something about how we show little care for anything and brush it under the rug

What a day

Imagine what happens when a child/ teen protagonist gets home

Mp: Mom I'm home, man today was wild.

Mm: Hi sweetie, I'm making dinner right now. What happened today?

Mp: Well me and my friends explored the forest found a secret passage to another world ruled by a selfish king, we got really buff and a few of us died, then we defeated the king a set the entire world free.

Mm:...

Mp: And I got a biscuit

Mm: Why is it always my kid?

Disguise

Alien 1 digging through clothes

Alien 1: Human where's my disguise?

Human: whaaattt

Alien 1: WHERE IS MY DISGUISE!?

Human: I uhhh put it away

Alien 1: Where?

Human: Why do you need to know?

Alien 1: I need it

Human: nu uh don't you think running off to do some experiments we've been planning this get together for two months

Alien 1: The experiments in danger

Human: MY EVENINGS IN DANGER!

Alien: YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS HUMAN WE'RE TALIING ABOUT THE GREATER GOOD!

Human: GREATER GOOD I AM A HUMAN IM THE GREATEST GOOD YOU EVER GONNA GET!

Alien 1: -_-

At this point idk what I'm doing, I might change up my post alittle with short stories but this just came to mind

Jealousy

Human and alien 1 walk into main pod with many others

Vil: oh hey alien 1 me and my partners are going on a mission want to join?

Alien 1: oh sur-

Human: actually we're doing something that day so... sorry

Vil: I didn't even say the time

Human glared meaning 'take a hint'

Vil: that's fine see you later

Human and alien 1 walk out

Alien 1: I don't understand our human calander says we have no up coming event

Human: you will learn soon that humans hate sharing

Sorry this isn't what I usually write but I'm tired and didn't have anything in mind so here....

New show

Alien 1 enters the room to Human crying on the couch

Alien 1: Human are you okay!?

Human: Yeah, just watching my show.

Alien 1: You mean the box of electricity

Human grabs Alien 1 and sit them down

Human: now get ready to get attached to people we won't ever meet and cry about them for hours

Alien 1: Umm can we not

Two days later

Alien 1 and human both wrapped in blankets crying

8 legs of fear

Alien 1: okay tomorrow we will be bringing in a new creature from Earth

Human: Cool what is it?

Alien 1: well I don't know what you call it but it has eight legs and-

Human: No, No I beg you please have mercy on our souls.

Alien 1: Um it's okay you can easily take care of it

Human: THE END IS COMING AND IT RUNS ON EIGHT

Alien 1: *hits forehead*

Mouse trouble

Imagine if aliens are testing how we react to different animals.

Alien 1: They've bonded with canine predators and creature ten times their size. I don't think that small rodent is going to do anything.

Alien 2: Well maybe you're right, but we must try it.

4 hours later

"MOUSE! MOUSE! SOMEONE HELP!"

Alien 1 walks in to the humans panicking trying to catch the small creature.

Alien 1: It's not even a threat to their species.

Alien 2 writing done that humans are indeed scared of a...mouse