The Lucky One

The Lucky One

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Prompt - 'You wonder if you'll make it out alive.'

When you first started acting you were the new kid on the block, nobody had ever heard of you and the casting director had taken a chance on you. You were fifteen, new to LA and just getting your name out there. Pretty early on you had been told you’d have to change your name, your actual name being claimed by somebody who was in the industry years ago. So you changed your last name to your middle name and began chasing fortune and fame.

It wasn’t long before you were taking off and the sixteen year old kid you once were was now being thrusted in front of cameras, the cameras flashing in every direction nearly blinded you but it also made it seem real, like you were going to make it. It looked like a dream, the dresses and suits and the people calling your name, it was so surreal.

From there on you were lined up for magazine covers, relishing in the way they transformed you into a sixties queen, curls pinned to your head, red lip and jewels on your neck. It seemed like things could only go up.

Then you missed out on a role for a big movie, one that could really set your career in motion. Another name went up in lights as the other actress thrived in the role, bursting into stardom as the movie became well known, doing amazingly well at box office. You were happy for her, you were, but you couldn’t help but wish it was you.

Another break came and you landed it, now it was your time, your chance for your name to be up in lights, everyone knowing who you were. It was great, it was really great, you felt like you were living the dream, growing up in front of the camera, people greeting you and wanting your autograph…it was great.

However as you got older things seemed to change. You had gotten a role on a show called Criminal Minds, it was well into its production, a couple of series in, and your management and agents felt like this would be a great way to transition you from movies to TV.

It wasn’t something you particularly wanted to do, you liked filming movies but the people surrounding you told you to take it, that you were the lucky one for getting this role.

You relented, figuring it wasn’t worth the fight, knowing it wasn’t a fight you would win. You figured that the show had been properly vetted for your management to consider putting you on it, they had created a public image for you, one that was squeaky clean and you weren’t allowed to do much without them agreeing to it first.

Thankfully you loved the Criminal Minds gig, everyone was so kind and the atmosphere on set was always fun. You were close with pretty much all of the cast but had taken a special liking to Matthew Gray Gubler. When you had first met him he had gone above and beyond to make sure you were comfortable and included, always making sure you were the first to be invited out to dinners and the such.

The two of you got on so well, your personalities coming together in a way that felt like you had known him for years rather than the few months you’d been working on the show.

It was only a matter of time before the older man asked you out. You had said yes without even thinking about it, knowing that you wanted to date him. Most of the time, especially around other actors, it was hard to feel comfortable. You never knew when they were acting or being sincere even if there were no cameras around but with Matthew you just knew. He was always so genuine, so honest that it was easy to trust him from the get go.

Matthew picked you up one night, the two of you dressed nicely for the restaurant Matthew had reserved and then had spent the night walking through Central Park aimlessly, just chatting and getting to know each other.

It was the most wonderful date you could have asked for, with the best company.

You and Matthew continued to date, both deciding to keep it on the downlow. Both of you knew just how much the media could affect a relationship and what the two of you had going was incredible, who could blame you for wanting to keep it private?

But when you're famous, good things can’t last. You shouldn’t have been as surprised as you were to find pictures of you and Matthew posted all over the internet one day, seven or so months into your relationship, but you couldn’t help but feel annoyed.

Sure you were a public figure but seriously?

You definitely weren’t surprised when your management team called you that day, demanding to know why they weren’t informed of this relationship. Didn’t you know how damaging this could be, they had said to you causing you to roll your eyes.

“He’s so much older than you, do you know how this looks?” Somebody from your team snapped down the phone and sure they were right but the age difference had hardly been an issue yet so why should it be now.

You said as much to the man on the phone.

“Y/N, you can’t date him. You’ve come too far to be brought down by this. Haven’t you read the tabloids? The tweets? The names they’re calling you, you’re just a kid, ok, you don’t know any better but we’re going to fix this.” He told you and you just let out a scoff of disbelief because what was there to fix?

Apparently a lot. It started with a fake boyfriend who was more age appropriate and continued with you having to follow him from hotel to hotel as he travelled around the state doing press junkies.

You had called Matthew each night and he tried his best to soothe you but it was frustrating, why couldn’t you date who you wanted instead of some guy who didn’t even know you. Why did your secrets have to end up splashed on the news front page with everyone on Twitter thinking they were entitled to an opinion on how you lived your life.

And still they told you you should be thankful, that you were the lucky one who got to have this life.

But you didn’t feel lucky, you felt confused and angry and alone. You no longer felt pretty in the way you had when you first started acting, you just felt used.

Two months passed and nothing changed, you were still stuck pretending to live a life that wasn’t yours and you weren’t filming so you could hardly see Matthew which hurt and put a strain on both of you.

He had tried to be understanding but after so long, it wasn’t shocking that things came to a halt between you one night and honestly you couldn’t blame him for being frustrated, hell, you were frustrated.

You were currently in the same hotel room as your fake boyfriend who was, thankfully, out for the night.

“Matthew please.” You begged into the phone, tears filling your eyes. You hated this.

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N,” He said, his own voice thick with emotions as he wiped a hand across his face, “I can’t do this anymore. I haven’t been able to see my own girlfriend in months. You’re so worried about what strangers on the internet think about you and you shouldn’t be. At the end of the day you just have to worry about what you think of yourself.”

“Matthew,” You said, unable to say anything else as a sob escaped you.

“I really wish you the best, sweetheart, I do but I’m not what you need right now. I’ll be here for you once you’ve figured things out but until then you have to sort through this yourself.”

That night you cried more than you had in months, letting yourself scroll through Twitter, reading the posts people had tagged you in. You watched as a new actress’ name went up in lights, being praised and welcomed into the spotlight.

You remembered being like that, all them years ago as your family moved to LA for you, as they gave everything up for you to have this life, the life you had so desperately wanted, and now…now you wondered if you’d even make it out alive.

But hey, you were the lucky one right?

Things went from bad to worse and you woke up days after Matthew had broken up with you to see your name plastered all over social media, another actress had been spreading rumours about you and it seemed the internet had taken her side. Overnight you seemed to have become public enemy number one.

Your management had called you several times and when you had finally answered it was to be accused of these rumours by them, by people who’d known you since you were sixteen.

You spent the morning crying alone in a penthouse suite wishing that you could just disappear. Matthew was right, you had become so concerned, your management had made you become so concerned with your public image that you had forgotten who you were.

What happened to that kid who was so excited to get into the industry? What happened to that spark in your eyes that came with standing on red carpets and hugging fans? When had things gotten so bad that you couldn’t even pick who you loved?

That day you decided, then and there, you were done.

You didn’t know how much more you had to give to the world, didn’t know how much of you there was left for them to take but you decided they couldn’t have it. You picked your phone up, finally feeling something you hadn’t felt in a while…determination.

For so long you’d been resigned to go along doing what everyone else said you should do but no longer. You wished you could call Matthew, wished you could thank him for giving you the push you needed but he was right, you needed to do this alone and if, after everything, he was willing to have you then you wouldn’t hesitate to run back into those arms.

-

You didn’t fight back against the rumours, didn’t issue a statement like your management demanded, you didn’t livestream and tell all your followers how upsetting this was for you.

Instead you deleted each and every one of your social media accounts. Within five minutes your phone was blowing up with calls from your management but you let them go unanswered each time. You packed your bags and left the penthouse, hailing a cab and headed to the airport.

Sure you had your New York apartment but it had been a while since you'd been home home and honestly that sounded good right now. After making it big your parents decided to leave LA, telling you that that life wasn’t them. You’d understood that, you knew that and thanked them profusely for giving up so much for you.

Thankfully it was quite easy to catch a plane home and surprisingly easy to do it without any paparazzi but you managed it and pretty soon you were knocking on your parents door and crying into your mothers shoulder but somehow feeling better than you had in a long, long time.

-

It would be a year before anybody saw you in public again, your management called everyday but you had lawyers privately working to get you out of their hooks, refusing to work for them anymore.

Thankfully you had no work commitments planned, only Criminal Minds but the crew were more than understanding of your request to take some time off. You had deleted your public social media accounts but had a private Twitter account and laughed at all the speculations that came out as to how and why and where you had disappeared to.

What was greater is that a few months ago the rumours that turned everyone against you were proved to be false, lies spread to damage your career. You weren’t even mad about it, actually you were rather grateful it had happened to you because it was exactly what you had needed.

Today you were heading home to New York, you had found a place with a bunch of land, it was private so there would be no paparazzi or fans at your door each day, trying to catch a glimpse of your life.

Matthew was back in New York too, finally finished a new season of Criminal Minds and taking a break. Thankfully he had answered when you called, his happiness for you seeping through the phone and you could hear the grin on his face.

You had asked if he wanted to meet up and suggested your new place when he agreed, not quite ready to make you return known to the public just yet, not wanting them to be involved in whatever would happen between you and Matthew.

“Y/N!” Matthew exclaimed as soon as you opened the door to him, not wasting any time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him, a grin firmly in place.

“Hi Matthew!” You giggled into his chest, wrapping your own arms around his waist and gripping him back just as tight.

The two of you didn’t say anything for awhile, content with holding each other after so long apart. Eventually though Matthew pulled away, not going far as he placed his hand on your arm, looking you up and down.

“You look really good.” He told you, sincerity clear in his voice.

You couldn’t help but smile, it was uncontrollable when you were around him even after not seeing him for well over a year.

“I feel good,” you told him whilst nodding and if it were possible his smile widened more.

Honestly he had been rooting for you more than anybody, he wanted you out from under your team but as much as he wanted to believe in you, he also knew they had been in your ear since you were sixteen so there was a good chance you could have continued to let them control your every move.

He was glad you stood up to them and the day he saw you delete your social medias and disappear he knew you were one of the lucky ones who escaped, who weren’t going to be ruled by managements and public expectations.

“Please come in.” You smiled.

“Thank you, I love the new place!” He told you as you led him through the house and into the kitchen where food and drinks were set up.

“Thank you,” you said as the two of you sat down, Matthew sitting in the seat directly next to you, turning so he could face you. “I figured it was still in New York but it’s private enough that I feel comfortable here.”

“I’m glad you got out, Y/N/N.” He smiled, taking your hand in his.

You smiled despite the fact that your eyes filled with tears, you weren’t sad anymore but so much of your life had been wasted worrying about other people...hell you’d lost the one person you loved for over a year because of other people interfering with your life. It was a bad time but you saw it through and now you were free.

“Hey, hey,” Matthew said softly, moving his hand so he could cup your face, thumb gently brushing a stray tear. “I’m so proud of you.”

Those were the words that pushed you over the edge, sobs wracked your body but Matthew held you close, whispering sweet nothings and kissing the top of your head. He let you cry out for all the lost time between you, all the hateful comments and rumours that were spread about you. He let you cry for a life you would never miss and he let you cry for a future you hoped would be better.

“Sorry,” You said with a laugh, moving away to look up at him. He smiled down at you, that happiness reflected in his eyes. “Thank you.”

“You know I meant what I said,” He whispered, “You were brave enough to sort through everything and I’m still here.”

Matthew took your smile as all the permission he needed to lean down and press his lips against yours. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t a heavy kiss that made up for lost time, there was plenty of time for those later. No this kiss, it was soft, Matthew’s smooth lips against your slightly chapped ones, it was slow and it conveyed everything you felt for each other in those moments.

Eventually the two of you pulled away, lips red and slightly swollen as you smiled at each other.

“You know, I never got the chance to tell you this before but now seems right,” Matthew began, hand coming up to cup your face and you felt your face heat up, hopeful that he was about to admit the same thing you had wanted to confess all that time ago. “I am so in love with you, even after all this time apart. I actually think this time apart has made me love you more, you’re so strong and I am so unbelievably proud of you.”

You smiled shakily, refusing to cry again though your eyes didn’t seem to get the memo as they filled with tears, but thankfully none fell as you leaned up to kiss the man you loved, the man who loved you.

This kiss was just as soft as the first but somehow more passionate as Matthew cupped your face in his hands, holding you gently.

“I love you too,” You confessed, thankful to say it outloud after all this time, “I was so scared I’d never get to tell you but I love you so much.” You laughed in disbelief that he was here, “I am so thankful that you encouraged me to change everything because without you I’d still be stuck under their thumb, still caring more about what other people thought of me than what I thought of myself. You know my whole career people told me I was the lucky one but it never felt like I was not until now, not until you.” You told him, watching as his face softened as you spoke, watching the pride in his eyes as he listened to you.

“I hated leaving you but I’m so glad you’re free to be you.” Matthew said before kissing you again. “I love you so much.” He whispered against your lips, happy to put all the bad thoughts out of your mind as he did.

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Treacherous

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Prompt - ‘This slope is treacherous and I, I like it’

Notes - shameless hotch smut

Ever since you’d first joined the BAU there was always something between you and Aaron. It started out a merely a physical attraction, you knew he was married, saw how he had talked about Haley and knew the man wouldn’t be unfaithful to her but that didn’t stop you from taking every chance you could to tease him, be near him and Aaron, though he never initiated anything, wasn’t quick to push you away.

As you got to know the man, however, you found yourself genuinely liking him. He was a good man and you couldn’t stop yourself going down that path no matter how reckless it was. You knew it’d be smart to walk away but Hotch, he was like quicksand, once the feelings were there, you couldn’t escape them.

You knew nothing could ever happen between you and Aaron, not for a lack of trying on your part, but because he was married and you knew he would honour the vows he made. Even if Haley wasn’t a factor, Aaron wouldn’t risk either of your careers by letting himself get involved with one of his subordinates, he knew you were already going to have it rough, a young woman working for the FBI, add onto that a relationship with your boss…it was a recipe for disaster.

Still the day he was served with divorce papers you couldn’t help but fight back a smile. The boss-employee relationship, you knew given the chance you could make Aaron see past that, sure it’d take work but you could convince him that it was worth it but Haley, she had always been the factor you knew you couldn’t touch. Now though the woman was letting Aaron go, a decision you couldn’t understand but one you hoped would work in your favour.

Aaron was struggling, everybody on the team could tell. The diviorce and the workload were getting to him and who would blame you for offering a shoulder to cry on?

You found yourself in front of the door to Aaron’s new apartment and a part of you knew you should feel shameful, using the man's divorce as a way in and if he turned you down you were fully prepared to give him the space he needed but if he acted on the chemistry between the two of you, you were ready to fully down that treacherous slope and into his arms.

Aaron didn’t look surprised to see you at his door and he was quick to invite you in. It was obvious he had been drinking, you couldn’t blame him either with all the stress that had come down on him lately.

“Would you like a drink?” He offered, gesturing towards the opened bottle on the table.

It wasn’t long before the two of you had worked your way through the majority of the bottle, personal space completely out of the window as you leaned into each other.

Aaron leaned forward and placed his glass on the table before he turned to you. He couldn’t help but smile, lifting his hand to brush a strand of hair from your face and you didn’t stop yourself from leaning into the touch. Aaron let his hand rest on your face, cupping your cheek and you didn’t hesitate to turn your face slightly, placing a soft kiss against his palm.

That seemed to be all the permission he needed as he guided your face close to his before pressing his lips to yours. You let your eyes slip shut, the kiss was electric. Aaron’s hand moved from your face, up into your hair, his fingers tangled in the strands as your hands came up to wrap around his neck.

In a quick movement you were climbing onto Aaron’s lap, thighs spread either side of him as you let yourself grind down against him, moaning as you felt the growing bulge beneath you.

Aaron groaned into your mouth before pulling away, letting his lips trail open-mouthed kisses from your jaw and down your neck. It wasn’t long before he was pulling your shirt off, encouraging you to keep moving as he did.

His mouth attached itself to one of your breast, pressing kisses against it and letting his tongue trail over the sensitive bud before he took it into his mouth, sucking harshly causing you to let out a needy moan. As he took the nipple between his teeth you sucked in a breath, your hips speeding up as he continued.

Your head was thrown back and you didn’t try to quiet the noises falling from your lips as Aaron bucked his hips up before he grabbed your neck and dragged down so he could crash his lips to yours.

This kiss was messy, it was uncoordinated, noses brushed together, teeth scraped against each other. But it was hot, there was no denying that and you couldn’t help but moan into it, the feeling of those fingers squeezing your neck, tightening as you quickened your pace, the hardness of his cock against you…it was everything you’d wanted for months.

Aaron pulled away, letting his head fall to the back of the couch, his deep moans doing things to you…having Aaron Hotchner a moaning mess under you had you smirking.

Reluctantly you pushed yourself off him and climbed off the couch. Aaron looked at you through half lidded eyes but before he couldn’t protest the loss of you on his cock, you were positioning yourself between his legs.

“Fuck Y/N,” He moaned as you made quick work of taking his pants off, practically watering at the mouth at the size of the bulge hidden by the fabric of his underwear. You could feel the wetness between your own legs and moaned as you leaned forward to lick a strip up the underside of his cock, and with just one taste of him you knew it was over for you, you were addicted already.

You took his cock into your mouth, relishing the stretch as he bucked his hips up, forcing his cock further into your mouth causing you to whimper needily around the length of him, your hips thrusting against nothing as you felt yourself getting wetter.

Curses left Hotch’s lips, mixed with those low moans. His fingers were tangled in your hair, gripping tightly as he continued to thrust his hips up, forcing his cock down your throat until you were choking around him.

And you couldn’t get enough. You eagerly let him take control, gagging around his cock, looking up at him with tear filled eyes, the pleasure you felt written clearly across your face.

You couldn’t take it anymore, letting your hand slip down your underwear, you brushed against your clit, letting out a desperate and filthy moan. Your eyes fell shut as you easily pushed two fingers inside your hole, wetness coating your fingers.

Aaron smirked down at you, seeing you like this, on your knees, a desperate, needy mess as he thrusted into your mouth, watching you choke on his dick. He cursed himself for not giving in earlier.

You whined as your fingers rubbed sloppily against your clit, thighs clenching as Aaron quickened his pace, his cock hitting the back of your throat with each thrust. By the time Aaron was cumming down your throat, you were struggling for breath but managed to swallow down every bit of cum before pulling off him.

You were panting for breath but Aaron pulled you in for a hot, messy kiss, giving you not time to recover. You whined into it, breathless and desperate for your own release. When Aaron finally pulled away you gulped down as much air as you could before begging Aaron to let you cum, eyes still glassed over from the blowjob and lips red and swollen.

Aaron groaned at the sight.

He was quick to pull you back onto the couch, laying you down and positioning himself in between your thighs, pressing soft kisses to the insides of them before he turned his attention between your legs, smirking at the wetness leaking through your underwear.

“You wanna cum, baby?” He asked, causing you to buck your hips up with a whine.

“Please, please, Hotch, do something, please.” You begged, desperate for release.

“You beg so nicely.” Aaron said before he licked you through your underwear making you moan as you moved your hips, letting yourself rub against his face.

“Does that feel good, baby?” He asked, moving so he could take your underwear off. “Come here.” He said before repositioning himself so he was laying on the sofa.

“You want to cum? Do it yourself.” He said and pulled you down, positioning you so his face was underneath you and when you didn’t move he leaned up, licking up to your clit before taking it into his mouth and suckling greedily on it causing you to let out a noise that sounded more like a sob than a moan, the feeling of his mouth on you was overwhelmingly amazing.

You gasped as a hand connected with your butt, a sharp sting causing you to arch your back and moan in pleasure.

“Make yourself cum.” Aaron commanded again and this time you obeyed him.

You moaned and cried as Aaron sucked your clit, his fingers pressing into your thighs, holding you open and rocking you slightly, encouraging you to move against his face. You began to move, crying out at the pleasure that shot through your body causing him to smirk against you.

He felt the wetness from you all over his face and moaned against your clit sending vibrations through your body that made you gasp and quicken your pace. Aaron let his hand come down on your butt, several times in a quick pace causing you to buck against his face, sobbing as the need to come became too much but Aaron didn’t stop there. He slipped his tongue easily into your hole and pushed it deeper into you every time you thrust against him.

Tears rolled down your face as every sensation became too much. With a shuddering moan you felt yourself cum against Aaron’s face, still riding against him as you rode through the orgasm.

Aaron gently pulled your legs off of him and sat up once you were finished cumming, he licked his lips, drinking in as much of your cum as he could as he turned his attention to you.

“Come here, baby.” He said, pulling you into his arms and holding you tightly against his chest, not rushing you as your mind caught back up after becoming overwhelmed.

As you caught your breath, Aaron ran his hands through your hair, gently combing through the knots that had gathered from him gripping it. He saw the slight bruises on your neck, from both his mouth and his fingers, and couldn’t help but smirk as he pressed his lips to one causing you to whine.

“You’re ok, I’ve got you.” Aaron assured and you pulled away slightly to look up at him. He couldn’t help but smile down at you, you looked wrecked, lips swollen and tear stained cheeks…Aaron had done that to you. “Let’s get you to bed.” He said, picking up you knowing full well the second you stood on your own your legs would turn to jelly.

Aaron set you down gently and made quick work of cleaning you up before he helped you slip into a pair of his boxers and one of his old shirts. Once he was sure that you were settled he got himself cleaned up and changed before heading to the kitchen to get two glasses of water, setting his on the nightstand before he turned to you.

“Y/N,” He said softly, smiling as you pried your eyes open tiredly, “drink some of this and then you can sleep.” He promised, before he helped you sit up and held the glass to your lips.

Once he was satisfied with how much you had drank, he let you lay down and it wasn’t long before he was climbing into bed with you and pulling you into his arms.

“Goodnight Y/N.” He said softly, placing a kiss to your forehead before letting himself fall asleep.

-

From that night on you and Aaron continued to sleep with each other. The morning after the first night he had sat you down and explained how this couldn’t be anything more than friends with benefits, how even this was risking a lot but neither of you could only let this be a one night thing.

The two of you had sex multiple times a week, sometimes even in his office, blinds shut and door locked, you biting into his shoulder to keep quiet. It wasn’t even a choice anymore, you couldn’t have put a stop to this if you tried. You were too far gone now and each time the two of you spent time together, you found yourself falling further and further for him. The sex was increible, god was it incredible, but there was also the stuff afterwards, when he would hold you close, whispering soft nothings as he kissed your hair. The nights where he would cook you dinner or pull you aside if a case was getting bad, offering you a shoulder if needed.

Sometimes you found yourself, in the early hours when both of you were spent, contemplating whether you should tell him how you felt but you couldn't, you knew if he knew how you felt he would put a stop to this. He wouldn’t want to feel like he was leading you on and you couldn’t lose this, couldn’t lose him. You’d take him anyway you could get him, it was a treacherous slope but one that you decided to head down, knowing now that there was no way out of this.

So whilst his name echoed through your mind all day, you knew it was your own fault. Aaron had been clear from the get go what this was, what this could only ever be. You were the one who started falling and as much as you wanted him for yourself you knew it wasn’t an option.

Falling for Aaron Hotchner wasn’t a conscious choice but if this was the only way you could have him, a secret to be kept behind closed doors, then it might have hurt but it didn’t mean you didn’t like it, you still got to be with him in some sense and maybe one day you’d be brave enough to ask him to stay with you but until then you’d continue on this reckless path and grasp onto any moment you had with Aaron.

________________________________

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Red

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Prompt - ‘Moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head in burning red.’

Notes - Smut

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun.

You had liked Sirius for months now, it was easy to like him. He was charming, charismatic, one flash of that smile had you weak in the knees - you and every other girl at Hogwarts. Sirius wasn’t an idiot, he knew the effect he had on the girls and nobody was surprised when he had a new girl on his arm every week.

You had never been one of those girls and even though you knew it was terrible to want to be, you couldn't deny that given the chance you would be his girl of the week. This week it was a girl in your year, you didn’t particularly like her but seeing her on Sirius’ lap made you roll your eyes as you passed them, neither of them noticing you as they made out on the bench they were on.

“Party at Gryffindor tower tonight, you in?” Your friend asked you as you rounded the corner.

The thought of saying no crossed your mind, not wanting to spend the night obsessing over Sirius but something within you was nagging you to go.

“Sure.” You agreed, watching as your friend grinned at you and began talking about outfits.

You tuned her out all the way to potions and spent the rest of the lesson trying to push Sirius out of your mind.

By the time the party rolled around you were ready to cancel but somehow your friends ended up pushing you into going. As you entered the common room you couldn’t help but relax as the music and laughter washed over you.

“Let’s get a drink.” Someone from your group said and it wasn’t long before one drink turned into four and you were feeling the full effect of the alcohol coursing through your veins.

You found yourself in the middle of the common room which was being used as a dance floor, letting the music guide your movements. You weren’t sure just how much time had passed before you felt an arm slip around your waist and a warm body pressing up against your back.

“Having fun?” You recognised Sirius’ voice straight away, his tone deep and low as he pulled you further against him, dancing rhythmically against you. You felt goosebumps rise on your skin as his lips pressed against your neck in a gentle kiss.

You couldn’t help but turn your head upwards, giving him better access. You could feel him smirk against you before he obliged and began pressing kisses into your skin, you bit your lip before gasping as you felt him suck on the delicate skin. He kept sucking and let his arms that were still wrapped around your waist explore your body, one trailed upwards, brushing over your breast and the other went downwards, resting on the top of your thigh.

The feeling of him sucking on your neck was more intense than you would have ever thought, that mixed with his hands on your body had you letting out an involuntary whimper. You were more than aware that you were still in the middle of the common room but you couldn’t bring yourself to care, not when Sirius Black was pressed up behind you, finally noticing you.

You let out another whimper as Sirius let his teeth graze against the spot he’d been sucking before pulling away, not going far, and whispered in your ear.

“How about we head upstairs?” You couldn’t have said no even if you wanted to, something about him was addicting and now that you’d had a taste you didn’t think you’d ever be able to let him go.

At your nod he pressed another kiss to your neck before pulling away and guiding you up the stairs. You had no idea how the stairs let you into the boys dorm but the thought left your mind as soon as it had entered.

Once you were in the boys dorm and the door was shut, Sirius pinned you against it, wasting no time in crashing his lips against yours, the kiss was raw, it was desperate and needy. Your hands were finally tangled in his long hair as his hands gripped your face and you couldn’t help but moan into the kiss.

Sirius pulled away from you, a trail of spit keeping the two of you attached to each other before his lips connected with your neck again. Your head hit the wooden door behind you as you threw it back, moaning in pleasure as he wasted no time sucking at different spots on your neck.

Your cheeks were flushed as Sirius finished up on your neck, trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck, along your collarbone before stopping at the top of your shirt. His fingers found the hem and he was quick to pull it over your head, leaving you standing in your bra.

You watched him lick his lips before he helped you take the bra off, his mouth going straight for your breast. He took one in his mouth, as his hand came up to knead the other. You moaned at the stimulation, your hands coming up to grip his hair as he showed no signs of slowing down, though you did feel him smirk against you.

When Sirius pulled away you had no time to recover as his lips found yours again. As he kissed you hard, hard enough to bruise, he pulled you away from the door and, without pulling away, blindly led you over to his bed.

It wasn’t long before you were underneath him, Sirius in between your legs as he continued to kiss you. It was rushed and animalistic and you couldn’t get enough. You pushed your hips up, letting yourself brush against his dick causing you both to moan into the kiss.

Sirius took the hint and pulled away, his hands trailing down your stomach and stopping at the top of your jeans. He made quick work of unbuttoning them and helped pull them down before throwing them off to the side of the room.

With the adrenaline and alcohol pumping through your system you had no time to feel self conscious, though you did pull his shirt off of him as you saw he was still fully clothed and you were laying there in your panties that were already beginning to get wet.

Sirius was quick to strip out of his own clothes before turning his attention back to you, pressing his lips against yours again. He let his hands trail down, brushing against your panties and smirking as he felt the wetness through them.

“Feel good, baby?” He asked, nipping at your jawline. You couldn’t reply, just let out a loud, needy moan as his fingers gently stroked you through your underwear.

Sirius wasted no time in lowering himself so his face was between your legs. He pressed a kiss against your thigh before hooking his fingers around your panties, pulling them off and tossing them out into the room.

You were a moaning mess as Sirius attached his lips to your clit, his fingers still brushing against you as he sucked and licked you. His fingers kept teasing your entrance, pushing in gently before he withdrew them causing you to let out loud groans of both pleasure and annoyance.

Without warning two fingers pushed into you causing you to arch against the bed, you felt Sirius chuckle around you causing you to moan louder as the chuckle vibrated against your clit. You were panting as he pumped his fingers inside you, his pace quickening each time. One of your hands was in his hair, fingers clutching the dark curls, holding him in place whilst the other gripped the bedsheet tightly.

“Sirius, Sirius please,” You cried out, the feeling of both his fingers and his mouth becoming too much.

Sirius pulled away and leaned up to connect his lips to yours, both of you moaning into it. The kiss was filthy, you could taste yourself on his tongue as you both messily kissed each other.

Before you could even register it Sirius was lining himself up against you and sliding in causing you to whimper in pleasure, your eyes screwing shut as Sirius sucked on your neck. Your arms were wrapped around his shoulders, fingernails digging into his back.

Once he was in and made sure you were ok, Sirius wasted no time. His rhythm was unrelentingly hard and fast, a fine line between pain and pleasure had you a moaning mess, Sirius’ name falling out of your mouth like a prayer as you pleaded for more.

Sirius was moaning against your neck, face buried against it as he thrusted into you. You were incoherent at this point, the only name on your lips was Sirius’ and it wasn’t long before you were pleading with him, begging him to let you come.

“That’s it baby,” He murmured against your neck, letting his teeth graze across the sensitive skin, “you feel so good, come for me, baby.” He continued, praising you as he fucked you fast and hard.

It wasn’t long before you were clenching around Sirius causing him to let out a low moan. You cried out as you orgasmed and Sirius wasn’t found behind as he came inside you with a moan of his own.

The two of you lay there for a moment, the air hot and heavy as the two of you panted for breath. Sirius was the first to move, pulling out of you carefully and picking his wand up from the nightstand. He made quick work of cleaning the two of you up and then collapsed down beside you in the bed, pulling you into his arms so your head lay on his chest.

“You okay baby?” He whispered as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

You were still slightly out of it, everything about tonight felt wild and passionate and overwhelming so you just nodded against him and let your arm rest against his stomach.

Sirius smiled down at you, letting his fingers trace your skin.

“Go to sleep, Y/N.” He murmured, smile growing as you nodded sleepily against his chest.

It wasn’t long before you fell asleep in Sirius’ arms.

You were the first to wake, the curtains around the bed had been drawn and you assumed the other boys were back in the room. You didn’t want to get up yet, didn’t want to leave Sirius’ embrace, the feeling of his arms around your waist, holding you close…it was easy to pretend this was real.

You let your fingers gently trace his chest, touching him like this made you realise that this was what you wanted. You wanted Sirius Black and you didn’t know how you were going to give him up after one night with him. This one night with him was perfect, it felt like the colours in autumn, so bright, so beautiful, but you could see the end too, when the autumn leaves died and fell, that was what was destined to happen here - one incredibly great night and then whatever was between you and Sirius was supposed to shrivel up and die.

Except that’s not what happened…

That morning Sirius woke up, his arms still holding you close. He brought you in for a soft kiss and the two of you spent the morning in his bed, lazily kissing and giggling as he told you stories of pranks and mischief and you told him stories about yourself.

From there the two of you headed down to the Great Hall, Sirius’ arm thrown around your shoulders and holding you close. During the meal he kept up the conversation, not bothering with anyone else around you.

You figured that it was finally your chance to be the girl of the week, not just a one night stand but someone for Sirius to keep around before he got bored. And you shouldn’t have been ok with that, you knew you deserved more than that, but spending time with Sirius was worth it.

So when week two came and Sirius slid into the seat next to you for breakfast, wrapping his arm around you and kissing your lips, you could only look at him in confusion.

“What?” He grinned as he plucked a piece of fruit from your plate.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked him, eyebrows knitting together in your confusion.

“Ouch and here I was thinking you liked me.” He said, dramatically holding a hand to his chest causing your friends to laugh.

You didn’t respond, you didn’t know how to respond. Sirius Black had never been with the same girl for longer than a week, it was common knowledge.

So why was he back?

“What’re you doing this weekend?” He asked you as you packed up your things to head to class. His hand slipped into yours as you both headed towards the stairs.

“Nothing?” You told him, though it sounded more like a question.

“Let me take you out, we can go to Hogsmeade.” He said, smiling over at you with that charming Sirius Black smile.

How could you say no to that?

-

At the four month mark you were still confused about why Sirius was with you, down right nearly died of shock when he asked to make things official one night as he snuck the two of you to the astronomy tower, talking about the different stars and constellations.

Four months in and you had fallen hard. It wasn’t difficult considering how much you had liked him before getting together but being around him everyday, getting to kiss him whenever you wanted, knowing that he was yours…it wasn’t hard to fall in love.

You had him memorized, you knew him as well as you knew the words to your old favourite song. When you touched him, you knew he was what you wanted and somehow he wanted you too.

You hadn’t realised just how hard you had fallen for him until your first fight. It was about something ridiculous and ended with the two of you storming away from each other. It was after hours and Sirius had headed up to the dorm whereas you had snuck out and found yourself sitting at the edge of the astronomy tower, legs dangling over as you looked up at the starry night.

Sirius came to find you that night, apologising. You had brushed it off, made it seem like it was no big deal just so things could be ok again between you but deep down you knew that that wasn’t right. The fight was intense but everything about your relationship with Sirius was intense so why shouldn’t that be too.

-

You shouldn’t have been surprised.

You knew he had a reputation, knew what he was like before you had gotten together. You knew he had a different girl every week. How could you think you could change that about him?

Watching him as he pressed some Ravenclaw against the wall, kissing her like he needed it to survive…

You hated the scene in front of you but you couldn’t look away. It was only when the Ravenclaw opened her eyes, seeing you stood there, that Sirius acknowledged you. The Ravenclaw pushed him off her, a look of embarrassment taking over her face as she quickly readjusted herself and picked her bag up before hurrying past you with an apology.

You didn’t hang around to hear what Sirius had to say. You turned on your heel and followed the other girl out, ignoring the pleas from Sirius as he begged you to hear him out.

You ended up in a dusty, old classroom. It looked like it hadn’t been used in a good few years…or decades. You didn’t care though, the state of the room was the last thing on your mind as you let the door fall shut and your back slid down it until you were sat on the floor with tears falling down your face.

You knew, deep down you knew that it was for the best, knew that you and Sirius could never have worked out but that didn’t make it hurt any less. The relationship was too much, loving him was too much. It was all too much, too fast. Every moment spent together was too intense.

You didn’t know how you were supposed to move on from him though because despite how intense things were between you, you really did love him and moving on from him seemed impossible when all you could see in your head was him.

As you sat on the dusty floor with tears falling down your face, flashbacks and echoes of him invading your mind, you couldn’t help but feel all alone. You knew you’d be ok eventually but right now everything felt blue, it felt lonely and sad and you felt like a complete idiot for thinking that he could change, for thinking that you were worth enough to him to change when really all you were to him was some pretty little plaything and he had finally gotten bored of you.

You had been so focused on the good moments between you this entire relationship, the affection, the infatuation, the warmth, that you ignored the other side of the relationship - the anger, the jealousy, the miscommunication, those horrible aspects you’d blocked out hit you full force.

Merlin, you were such an idiot.

Loving Sirius Black was intense for lack of a better word. From the get go everything seemed to move fast but you were so caught up, so intoxicated by it that you couldn’t do anything more than hold his hand as the whirlwind romance began. Loving Sirius Black was passionate, it was needy and it was over just as quickly as it had begun but in time you knew you’d be ok.

________________________

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I Almost Do

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Prompt - ‘I can't say hello to you and risk another goodbye.’

It had been an exhaustingly long case, both you and Derek being forced to act like nothing was wrong between you when in reality being around the man made you want to cry.

Things had been great between you, together for over a year, moved in with one another, things had been great. You couldn’t even pinpoint when things had started going bad, you just remembered that the two of you were arguing more, you remembered that in the last few months you’d spent more time in the guest bedroom than you did in your own.

The tension between the two of you eventually seeped into your work life and Hotch had taken to keeping the two of you as far away from each other as he could whereas he usually paired you with each other for most assignments, knowing how well the two of you worked together.

Derek was the one to finally put an end to the relationship after months of fighting, months of faking smiles and telling everyone things were fine, everyone had rough patches, after months of sleeping alone and days without talking to one another.

“We can’t do this anymore Y/N,” He had snapped one day, the two of you were arguing in the kitchen. Hateful words thrown at each other in the heat of the moment. Derek sighed before softening his voice and repeating, “We can’t do this anymore.”

You blinked against the tears, you knew he was right but it didn’t mean you wanted it to end. All you wanted was for the fighting to stop, you didn’t even know what you were fighting over anymore. You’d never fallen out of love with Derek, you still loved him more than anything but ultimately you knew he was right.

“I know,” You replied, voice just as soft as his.

You watched his face fall, your expression mirroring his as you both came to terms with the fact your relationship was just over.

Derek took a step closer to you, lifting his hand to cup your face, giving you plenty of time to pull away before he dipped his head down and let his mouth connect with yours.

It was then you let the tears fall, the saltiness could be tasted on both your lips as he kissed you softly, trying not to let his own tears fall.

When he pulled away he rested his forehead on yours, looking at your face he couldn’t help but let a single tear fall as he brushed yours away.

“I love you baby.” He whispered, causing you to scrunch your nose up as you tried desperately to stop more tears from coming.

“I love you too,” You told him, nodding slightly as you did.

From then on everything became tense. You and Derek didn’t know how to act around each other. Hotch continued to keep you separate and the two of you avoided each other as best you could and you did quite a good job considering the close quarters you worked in.

Emily hadn’t hesitated to offer you her spare bedroom as you looked for your own apartment and she watched as you fell apart after rough cases, the only thing that could help was the one person you couldn’t have.

Sometimes Derek reached out, a phone call or a text, but you never replied. As much as you loved him, and you did love him more than words could say, you couldn’t say hello to him again and risk another goodbye. You knew he probably hadn’t even considered that but the first breakup was so painful, you couldn’t go through it again.

Tonight though it took everything in you not to call him. Tonight you just wanted to be with him, his arms secure around your waist, holding you tightly, his touch grounding you. You wanted him to kiss your forehead and whisper sweet nothings that always made you feel better.

But you didn’t call or text him. You didn’t get in your car and drive to the place you once called home. There were so many times where you had nearly given in, nearly gone to him, almost done it, but you resisted.

The thought of having him back just to lose him again was far too painful.

You knew in some ways that it was probably for the best the two of you had parted ways before you ruined everything with each other forever. At least calling it quits when you did meant there may have been a possibility, somewhere down the line, there was a chance you could reconnect, be friends again, be in the same room without any tension.

It had been an exhaustingly long case, both you and Derek being forced to act like nothing was wrong between you when in reality being around the man made you want to cry. You bet at this time of night that Derek was still up, just as tired as you after a long, hard week. You bet he was sitting in that chair by the window, looking out at the view, in the seat that you had both once occupied, you in his lap with his arms holding you securely.

You hoped he was thinking about you as much as you were thinking about him, you hoped he missed you as much as you missed him. You hoped one day that the two of you would be ready to find each other again and this time not let each other go.

______________

Derek Taglist - @canadailluminate, @mrs-scottmccall, @j-cat , @cinderellacauseshebroke, @black-rose-29, @chickensrule, @classyunknownlover, @rosaliedepp, @cassidymb121, @grccnaway, @averyhotchner, @chaoticevilbakugo, @sia2raw, @silverose365, @ellevandeberg, @taecube, @alexxavicry, @parkershoco, @father-violet,

Gilmore Girls Masterlist

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- Why Can't This Be Real? (Part One)

- I'm So Glad This is Real (Part Two)

- No Kissing at the Counter

- Opposite's Attract

All Too Well

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Prompt - 'It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.'

Hogwarts was bursting with excitement as many students prepared to go home for the holidays. This was the first year you had something to look forward to as your boyfriend, James Potter, had extended an invitation from his parents to you for their annual christmas party.

Everyone was chattering away loudly as they headed down to the train, all ready for the holidays to begin.

James and you walked together hand in hand surrounded by his friends. Sirius, Remus and Peter joined the two of you in the cart and it wasn’t soon before the train pulled away from the station and the five of you were headed home.

You and James hadn’t been dating for long, just over four months, but you knew you were head over heels for him. It was hard not to fall for him, everything about him felt safe, when you were tucked up against him, feeling his laugh rumble through his chest, you felt like that was the closest to home you’d felt in a long time.

Sitting here now, James’ arm wrapped around your shoulder pulling you into him, you felt yourself falling a little bit more in love with him. You let your head rest on his shoulder, smiling as you felt his lips against your head before he turned back to joking with Sirius.

The comforting feel of being pressed against James and the movement from the train was all it took to lull you to sleep.

“Y/N/N,” A soft voice said, gently shaking you awake.

You scrunched your nose up, blinking hard before opening your eyes and seeing James next to you wearing a soft smile.

“We’re here.” He told you before standing and holding a hand out to you. It wasn’t long before the two of you were on the platform saying your goodbyes.

“I’ll see you soon,” You told him, watching as he glanced from his friends back to you before nodding. He leaned down to give you a quick kiss, saying goodbye to you and made his way over to his little group.

As much as you loved James, though you’d yet to say those words to him, sometimes you couldn’t help but feel like you came second place to his friends. It wasn’t like you wanted him to give them up and only spend all his time with you but some days you couldn’t help but wish he paid half as much attention to you as he did them.

You frowned as you shook your head, blaming those thoughts on the lingering tiredness before making your way over to where your parents were waiting for you.

-

You had barely heard from James since you’d arrived back home for the holidays, a few letters here and there but no calls using the fireplace. In one of his letters James had told you that his parents had offered to let you come around a few days earlier and sleep over, wanting to get to know the girl their son was dating.

You were excited to finally spend some time with James and he had told you that he and Sirius were going to Diagon Alley to get some Christmas presents. You had agreed to meet up with them in The Leaky Cauldron and began to get ready for the day.

It wasn’t long before you were ready, bags packed and slipping a red scarf around your neck. You said goodbye to your parents before taking the floo over to The Leaky Cauldron.

You saw James and Sirius tucked away in the corner and quickly made your way over, pulling your cloak tighter around you to combat the chill. James spotted you first, smiling widely over at you and standing up to pull you into a hug which you eagerly returned before he pulled away slightly to press his lips to yours.

The three of you were quick to settle in with food and drinks but it wasn’t long before you were heading out into the cold and finishing up some shopping. By the time you were walking through the front doors of the Potter Manor you couldn’t help but smile at the warmth, a stark contrast to the cold air outside. As you looked around the house you couldn’t help but feel at home somehow, the atmosphere unlike any other pureblood house you’d been in, this one was comforting, inviting and you found yourself at ease as you slid your scarf off, letting it rest on the bannister.

After introductions were made Mrs Potter had pulled you into the kitchen with her, hot chocolates lined up as she rested a leather bound book on the counter. You couldn’t help but smile as she opened the first page, a naked baby James Potter crawling across the page. You looked up at James, laughing as you watched his cheeks turn red. Another page showed a young James Potter looking tiny as he sat on a twin sized bed, round glasses making him look even smaller as they took up a large portion of his face.

As Mrs Potter flipped through the pages, she recalled stories from James’ youth leaving you all with big grins on your faces as you listened and laughed.

You looked over at James as his mum continued with her stories and saw him looking at you with a warm smile. You bite your lip, trying to contain your smile as you glanced down at the book again, you couldn’t help but think how much you wanted to make more of these memories with him.

-

You had been staying at the Potters for two nights now, sleeping in the spare room as Mrs Potter had instructed. That night you found yourself tossing and turning and decided to head downstairs for a drink hoping it would help.

“Hey,” You said softly, smiling as you saw James’ already in the kitchen with the refrigerator door open, lighting the room with a soft blue light.

You watched as James smiled at you as he held his arms open, you were quick to step into them, glad to finally have a moment alone with him. As much as you loved his parents and hearing their stories and as much as you liked Sirius you had to admit you missed James despite the fact he was always there.

“Hey,” He replied, just as softly. The house was huge, the two of you could have spoken normally and not woke anybody up but the atmosphere felt nice, it felt delicate and as James held you close it felt right to keep your voices low.

“You know there’s going to be dancing at this party, don’t you?” He asked, causing you to pull back far enough to look up at him with wide eyes.

“I can’t dance.” You told him.

“It’s easy,” He insisted, smile widening as you shook your head at him.

“Yeah maybe if you were taught to waltz before you could walk.” You scoffed watching as he laughed with a roll of his eyes.

“I think you’re getting me and Pads confused, baby.” He grinned before pulling you away slightly and wrapping your arms around his neck, letting his own rest around your waist as he began to sway the two of you.

“See, easy.” He said as he took one of your hands in his and spun you around, smiling as you giggled before he took the lead and began dancing with you in the kitchen, no music needed as the two of you laughed softly as you stepped on James’ feet before slowly getting the hang of it.

In that moment you felt yourself fall a little bit more in love with James Potter.

-

The day of the party was here and the Potter manor was buzzing with energy. Mrs Potter was constantly in and out of the kitchen with different platters of food as house elves helped set up the decorations.

The manor felt more like home than the day you had arrived, several large Christmas trees had been set up in different rooms, fairy lights softly lighting the room and Gryffindor house colours were used in the decorations causing you to giggle.

James had his arm around you but he was more interested in the conversation he was having with Sirius, one that you weren’t paying too much attention to. Eventually though you got bored of being ignored and stood up, rolling your eyes slightly as James didn’t even look up.

“Can I help, Mrs Potter?” You asked, looking at the flustered woman who was preparing another tray of food.

“Oh no dear, you go and enjoy yourself.” She said shaking her head

“It’s no trouble, I’d be glad to help.” You insisted, watching as she looked up at you with a warm smile.

“Alright dear, you come here,” She said and with that you quickly got the hang of her methods and were soon helping her transport all the food into the living room, James still not noticing your absence.

-

As you headed back up to your room to get ready for the party you couldn’t help but frown as you walked past the living room, watching as Sirius, Remus and James all laughed together.

You weren’t jealous of his friendship with the others, Merlin, you loved that he had such a close relationship with them but at the same time you wished he put a little more effort into your relationship as he did with them.

You really tried to ignore it most days but sometimes you just couldn’t push the nagging feeling aside that you put more effort into this relationship than he did. With a shake of your head you headed into your room and began to get ready, trying not to focus on any more negative thoughts.

It wasn’t long before the party was in full swing and you made your way downstairs alone after waiting to see if James would come to your room. There was a frown on your face but as you stepped off the last stair you forced a smile onto your face and pushed through the crowds.

James looked incredible as he was dressed in a suit, laughing with an even bigger group of friends. You made your way over to him, not letting your smile falter as he didn’t acknowledge you.

You let your hand grab his but this time you did frown as he gave it one squeeze before letting go, turning his back to you as he began to joke with a guy you hadn’t met before.

A part of you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but another part of you hated feeling like you weren’t good enough to James, like you were always second best to him. You left the group as discreetly as you could, not that anybody noticed when you did leave, and pushed your way outside.

The back garden was huge and just as beautiful as the inside, decorated with fairy lights and decorations. Despite the many, many people who were outside it was quite easy to find an empty space to sit.

The hot chocolate clutched between your hands was the only thing keeping you warm against the winter air. The night sky was nearly black despite it still being quite early in the evening. The wind was harsh enough to blow your hair in every direction but you didn’t care as you sat looking up at the stars frowning in thought.

You hated feeling like this was the end of things between you and James but at the same time you couldn’t help but think that it was long gone already and no amount of fighting on your behalf could do anything to salvage it. You hated that this thing between you and James felt so painfully real, felt like it could be amazing, and it was now just nothing.

You hated that you felt you were asking for too much when really all you wanted was your boyfriend to notice you, to pay attention to you. As you sat alone outside, the sound of music and laughter coming from behind you, you couldn’t help but sniff as you tried to fight back the tears, not feeling fine at all.

The realisation that your relationship was done made you feel like all the magic from the world had disappeared, you felt like everything was for nothing as you sat there remembering every moment between you and James. You recalled only the other night as James and you danced together alone in the kitchen, feeling happier than ever as he spun you around in his arms, you remember as he dragged you through the castle, running from the teacher on patrol as the two of you had snuck out out of hours for a date, you remembered him teaching you how to ride on a broom which ended with the two of you on the floor with bruises but only laughter could be heard.

You remembered it all too well.

In that moment it felt like you were paralyzed, it felt like time had frozen as you tried to figure out what to do next. You didn’t want to cause a scene for the Potter’s but you also knew you couldn’t stay, not anymore.

Eventually you managed to pull yourself up and made your way through the house, avoiding anyone you might know and headed up the stairs into the guest room Mrs Potter had let you use. You were quick to pack your things away, hesitating when you came across one of James’ jumpers before shaking your head and leaving it on the bed folded neatly.

You looked around the room one last time before making your way out, heading downstairs and pausing before sneaking into the floo room where guests were still coming in from, taking one last look at James across the room. He had a wide grin on his face, laughing along with his friends and you couldn’t stop your eyes filling up with tears, the lack of you not bothering him at all.

It wasn’t long before you were home, thankfully your parents were at their own Christmas party at a relatives house, leaving you home alone.

You made your way up to your room and it wasn’t long before you collapsed onto bed and let the tears fall down, heartbreaking sobs leaving you as you cried for every moment between you and James.

You thought what the two of you had was rare, you had been there for it, remembered each moment all too well and yet here you were…alone.

You loved James Potter so much and maybe you got lost in translation, maybe you did ask for too much by wanting him to acknowledge you more or maybe he had just lost the one real thing he’d ever known and not even realised it.

-

James had tried to floo you several times and wrote to you even more. You hated that it took you leaving for him to finally notice you. You replied to one of his owls with a letter of your own telling him that you couldn’t be with him anymore, telling him that you deserved better and that you didn’t want him to contact you again.

James received the owl and only then did he realise how badly he had messed up. That night as he began packing away his things, he came across the red scarf you had left there on that very first day and if he went to sleep that night curled up around it, breathing in your scent, well nobody had to know. It was too late now, he really had messed up and no amount of reminiscing would solve it.

_________

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