The Story Of Us

The Story of Us

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Angstember Prompt -  “I hope it's worth it.”

You could still remember the first day you had met Peter Parker, despite the years that had passed. You remembered your eyes meeting across the room, remembered him walking up to you in the cafeteria and asking to join you for lunch, you remembered the sparks that seemed to fly instantly, the way the conversation flowed easily between you like you’d known each other for years rather than the few moments you had. The boy before you had made you laugh like no one had before, had made you feel more at ease than you’d ever been and from there you knew he was going to be important to you. 

You loved telling the story of how you and Peter met, loved sharing how the two of you had gone from two people alone in the cafeteria to best friends to dating, loved how people smiled and gushed over how cute it was. 

Telling the story of how Peter had asked you out was another favourite of yours, it was a story you hoped you were telling years down the line to anyone who would listen, a story you could recite in your sleep. Telling them how he had he had invited you out into the city on New Year’s eve, telling them how you stood surrounded by people cheering and laughing, of how Peter had nervously pulled you close and told you how important you were to him, about how he couldn’t picture his life without you and how much he cared for you. He had timed it perfectly somehow and by the time you were grinning up at him, overwhelmed with happiness, he had cupped your cheek, giving you a chance to pull away from him if you wanted before he pressed his lips to yours softly just as midnight struck, even as people cheered around you the noise seemed to fade as you could only focus on Peter.

From there not much had changed between you and Peter, you already spent so much of your time with the other, shared everything between the two of you, the only thing that really changed was that you could kiss freely now instead of having to shove the urge deep down for fear of messing your friendship up. 

The first year of your relationship passed in a blur of happiness, you and Peter falling harder in love with each other every day. Of course you had had a few arguments here and there but nothing serious and nothing that wasn’t resolved the same day. Everything between you and Peter seemed perfect, like you were in a fairy tale. 

So the moment everything changed you felt it straight away, it felt like your world had shifted, like things were falling out of place when Peter began to pull away from you. You tried to figure out what had happened, replayed every moment of the last few weeks in your head but couldn’t come up with anything that would have upset him.

It wasn’t like he pushed you away completely but he had definitely put distance between the two of you. It wasn’t until Ben died that the wall between you came crashing into place and it wasn’t like you couldn’t understand his pain, his grief but despite attending the funeral, despite Peter gripping your hand throughout the service he pulled further away, completely ignoring you for days at a time.

You had tried to be there for him but he wouldn’t let you and so you allowed him his wish to be alone, to hopefully work through everything. It wasn’t until he came to school with bruises that you finally had enough, weeks passing since the funeral, and pulled Peter into an empty classroom.

You tried to talk to him, tried to ask him where the bruises came from and why he was being so distant. Peter had just rolled his eyes, his exhaustion clear and only adding to his tenseness. He had told you he was fine, that the bruises were nothing, he told you to stay out of it, that whatever he did was none of your business. You had only been able to scoff at him, shaking your head in disbelief before walking out of the door leaving Peter to regret his words as he slumped tiredly against the wall but he couldn’t stop himself from pushing away from you. 

Ben’s death was already on his hands, he refused to put you in danger too.

From that day things had changed, Peter’s resolve to keep away from you only strengthening as he settled into his role as Spider-Man, hating the distance between you, hating the first secret he had to keep from you but knowing it was necessary. He’d rather have you alive and away from him than at his side but dead. He knew he was picking Spider-Man over you but after Uncle Ben…he could save people now. That was his responsibility.

You yourself had gone from being able to walk into any room and knowing your place was a spot next to him, a seat he always made sure to save for you no matter how many people were hanging out in your group, to standing alone, awkwardly in the cafeteria, scanning the room for an empty seat in the span of a few weeks. 

You didn’t know what page the two of you were on lately, didn’t know what was going to happen between you. You hoped that he would sort through whatever it was that made him feel like he had to distance himself from you, hoped he’d come back to you but as time passed you found yourself losing hope. 

It was clear he was keeping something from you, a secret that he refused to share. It was strange, the two of you had always been so openly honest with each other, never feeling like you had to hide anything, not with how much you trusted each other but now it was clear you’d done something to lose that trust, to make him think he couldn’t tell you things.

As time passed and Peter continued to shove you away despite your countless attempts to show him you were still there for him, to show him you still loved him you felt his walls building themselves higher and higher, too thick for you to be heard from outside them.

Not speaking to Peter was agonisingly painful, having gone from spending everyday with him to not even being able to speak two words to him because he rushed away from you hurt more than anything. You wondered, as you lay in bed alone, if it was killing him, if it was tearing him up, the same way it was you. You wanted to know just what you had done, just what had happened for him to become so closed off from you, wanted to know when your love story seemed to turn into a tragedy, so sure that it wouldn’t have a happy ending.

Spider-Man quickly made a name for himself and Peter was aware of the public opinion, of the supporters he had and of the enemies he was making. He was aware people tried to piece together who the man under the mask was and aware of how much some people wanted him gone. His bruised eye and busted lip as well as his sore muscles really hammered home just how much some bad guys really hated him but he was doing the right thing, just last night alone he had stopped several muggings, webbed a guy who was about to shoot up a shop and stopped a guy as he followed a woman home.

He was doing the right thing, he knew he was and yet as he saw you across the room, alone with an air of sadness around you, doing your best to seem busy even when he could tell you weren’t, his heart ached. He watched as you fiddled with the ends of your sleeves, saw how uncomfortable you looked and he knew it was wrong, the image was completely wrong because you weren’t supposed to be sad, you weren’t supposed to have a frown on your face and he was supposed to be next to you. 

Instead he stayed as far away from you as possible, avoiding you so that you wouldn’t find out his secret. He couldn’t risk you, he would never do it. He knew you’d have rolled your eyes at him, knew you’d be furious at him for making the decision for you without giving you a choice but he couldn’t lose you. If somebody did somehow put together that Peter was Spider-Man then they would surely exploit every weakness he had and you were the biggest one he had. He would never put you in that position, no matter how much it hurt to see you this way.

He was doing the right thing, it was a mantra he repeated in his head, forcing himself to remember it every time he saw you.

Being forced to see Peter every day at school, to see him and not be able to touch him, to even speak to him was tearing you about, it felt like you were losing your mind. It was clear that whatever had caused him to pull away from you wasn’t going to fix itself. Peter seemed more than happy to hold onto whatever it was keeping you apart than to hold onto you. It was a thought that cut you deep, at one point you thought you were worth more to him than that but clearly not. As the days passed it became more and more obvious that when you told the story of you and Peter it wouldn’t be about love anymore but more about your descent into madness as you struggled to understand how things had gone so wrong.

You knew the relationship was done but neither one of you had uttered the words and despite knowing that it was the unavoidable outcome you were still scared for the ending, at least now there was the tiniest shred of hope but you knew it wasn’t worth holding onto anymore. All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms, tell him you missed him but you couldn’t, you didn’t even know how to speak to him anymore and yet despite the fact that no words had passed between the two of you the silence was louder than anything.

You had been waiting for it and yet when it happened it felt like you hadn’t been prepared at all, not when Peter walked up to your locker after school, running a hand through his hair as he asked if the two of you could talk. You’d nodded of course, knew logically how this conversation was going to go and yet somehow, somehow there was still a part of you hoping this was him ready to put aside whatever had happened and work it out together.

The two of you walked for a while until you came to a quiet spot and sat down side by side on an empty bench. It was a nice day out and you kind of hated it, it felt like it should be pouring rain, maybe storm clouds hanging over your heads whilst this conversation happened but instead there wasn’t a cloud in the sky and the sun shone brightly.

“I’m sorry, Y/N/N,” Peter began, finally breaking the silence that had settled between the two, “I’m so sorry for everything.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as tears stung your eyes but you tried to blink them away as best you could, knowing there wasn’t a different ending to this story and wanting to get it done with, knowing it was going to hurt more the longer it was dragged. 

As you sat at his side you allowed yourself a moment to draw comfort from having him this close, allowed yourself a moment to memorise him, not knowing if you’d have the chance again. There were so many things you wanted to say to him, were sure there was so much he wanted to say to you but those words would go unspoken, kept only for yourselves to know, never to be shared.

“Will you at least tell me what I did?” You pleaded, the question had been plaguing you for so long now and you just wanted an answer.

You watched as Peter turned to you, his own eyes wide and watery as he shook his head, hand reaching out for you before he pulled it away. You took a shaky breath, desperately trying to keep your tears at bay, wanting nothing more than to feel his touch but knowing you couldn’t.

“No, no baby,” Peter said, wincing as the word slipped out of his mouth without him meaning to but carrying on anyway, “this isn’t because of you, this is all me.”

“What happened? I thought we were happy.” You figured you weren’t going to get a solid answer, you thought you deserved one but weren’t holding your breath.

“We were. I’m sorry Y/N, I really am but I just…I have to protect you, even if you hate me at least you’ll be ok, you have to be ok and you won’t be, not around me. I can’t lose you, Y/N.” Peter told you, the words falling from his lips like he couldn’t stop them, him rambling as you looked at him in confusion, not making sense of the words.

“Peter, what are you talking about? I’ve always been ok around you, I’ve never felt safer than when I’m with you. You’re saying you can’t lose me and yet you’re the one walking away from us.” You couldn’t understand his reasoning. Confusion, anger, sadness all running through you as you looked at him.

“I can’t explain it, Y/N/N.” He whispered, looking away from you and down at his hands resting in his lap. “I want to, I really do but I can’t.” 

His voice was thick with emotions, tears pooling in his eye, threatening to fall as were your own but you only took another breath and sat up straighter on the bench. This wasn’t the ending your story with Peter deserved, it wasn’t the one you ever thought it would get and yet here the two of you were, saying goodbye to everything you had together. 

“I really hope it’s worth it.” You told him, voice barely a whisper as you choked back tears, standing from the bench. 

You watched Peter straighten, watched his hand lift again to pull you back before he decided against it. He knew he had to let you go, knew it was the right thing even if it didn’t feel like it. He couldn’t risk losing you, you were too important to him. 

Even so, as he watched you walk away from him, keeping his eyes on you until you disappeared from view he couldn’t help but think about your last words. Was being Spider-Man worth it? Yes it was, he made a difference, he saved people but having to lose you to do it left him feeling empty.

You forced yourself to walk away, forced yourself to hold the tears back until you were far enough away from him before you had to stop, sitting on the stairs of a random apartment block to finally letting the tears fall freely, not caring about any glances sent your way.

It seemed like such a terrible ending, so many good memories, amazing experiences together. The way he made you feel had just been thrown to the side, no longer good enough for him. It hurt more that you still didn’t know the reason behind the decision, hated that your mind would always focus on the what if’s now. This was not the ending you deserved with Peter, your story was supposed to be good, it had been good and yet the ending was playing out clearly in real time with you, alone, sobbing in the streets of New York and Peter left alone, still sitting on the bench with his own tears falling down his face.

That was the end of the story of you and Peter.

/

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Decisions, Decisions

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Notes - If this is ooc or some things are wrong I’m sorry! I literally know nothing about tlou other than what I’ve seen from episode one.

Prompt - ‘Sometimes you make the wrong decision and that leads you to the right decision.’

The thing about the end of the world is that nobody expected it. Sure it was a thing everyone knew would happen one day, one of the many, indisputable facts of life, but nobody ever thought it would happen to them. When people pictured the end of the world it was usually a wave of fire and panic before nothing, everyone expected nothingness at the end of the world.

So when the world did end on some random day in September people didn’t realise it for what it was, not yet. There was no end worlding bang, no thing in the sky falling down to destroy everything.

There was panic though, God was there panic. Every person was consumed by that panic, that fear of what was happening, so consumed that they couldn’t think past it, couldn’t think about whether there was a future after this.

It was the end of the damned world and yet the world stayed standing.

There was fire, a lot of fire, cities, houses, cars and planes went up in flames, smoke spreading fast and thick until people struggled to breathe through it. There was screaming too, people lay on the ground screaming as the dead bit into them, people screamed as they ran from the dead who moved too quick, people screamed as the military raised their weapons and shot them just because they had been ordered to.

The world stayed standing but everything else ended.

Communications had long since stopped working, if you were alone when it happened then you were alone for good…at least for a while. If you were one of the lucky ones you kept yourself safe until you could get taken in by the official quarantine zones. If you weren’t lucky then the dead would make quick but painful work of you.

Those were the two kinds of people nowadays, the lucky and the unlucky, the dead and the survivors.

Then there was you.

You weren’t lucky, you weren’t a survivor. When the world ended you had panicked along with everyone else. You were alone in Texas, it hadn’t even been a month since you moved out there for some job you had sworn was going to change your life.

You had no idea how you survived as long as you had, months into the outbreak or whatever this thing was, you were tired. The panic still existed, it consumed your every waking minute, you paused before turning a corner, held your breath at a creak in the house. You were trying to make your way to one of the safety points the government had set up, the ones closest to you all filled and your feet ached as every car you passed failed to work.

You were tired. Tired of fighting, tired of being scared, tired of being alone, you were tired of being tired.

So when you left a house you had spent the night in and heard a noise to your right you knew you had a split second to make your decision. Did you want to die? No, of course you didn’t, the answer came to you straight away but then so did the next question; did you want to live?

The answer didn’t come to you so clearly this time. You didn’t want to die but what was there to live for anymore. This was the world now, no hope, no cures, nothing. Why would anyone want to live in this world? It wasn’t living anymore, it was surviving one day just to survive the next.

And that was your answer wasn’t it, there was nothing to live for so why were you still fighting?

You saw it coming for you out of the corner of your eyes before you scrunched them shut, bracing yourself for the pain and hoped it would be quick. You felt its hand grab you before it went limp and fell to the floor and you let out a shuddering breath as your eyes flew open and down to the ground before turning to look around.

You weren’t lucky, you weren’t a survivor; you were something else. You were saved, saved by a man who looked as tired as you were, saved by a man who look like he was carrying a hefty weight on his shoulders, a man who scowled and shook his head as he snapped at you, asking what the hell you were thinking.

As he stepped closer to you your mind began running at a mile a minute. The main thing you felt was relief, thankful this man had made a decision for you, thankful he hadn’t left your fate up to you.

When he was close enough you didn’t even think, you couldn’t think properly, instead you threw your arms around him and hugged yourself to his chest. The man let out a small huff as he went tense in your arms before he sighed and wrapped your shaking figure in his arms.

“You’re ok.” He told you, his voice was gruff as he spoke and you couldn’t stop the sob that left you, one of the man’s hands lifting to cup the back of your head.

It had been so long since you had spoken to another person, you didn’t know who to trust these days but months of isolation were bound to make you just a little bit desperate for human contact.

“Sorry,” you said as you pulled away, voice croaky from not speaking for so long. “Sorry, I um, thank you.”

“You’re alright.” He told you again before his eyes ran over you, checking for something before his frown deepened. “Where’s your weapon?”

They were already dead, kept moving by whatever virus or parasite had infected them but still…it had never sat right with you to kill them. So you didn’t. It had been months since the world ended and you hadn’t killed a single one of them.

You weren’t a survivor, you weren’t lucky. You were careful and you calculated every single move you made.

You were tired.

“I don’t have a weapon.” You watched his frown deepen even more if it were possible.

“You don’t have a- how the hell have you stayed alive?” He asked you and you couldn’t do more than shrug at him. “You were ready to let that thing get you.”

It wasn’t a question, he had witnessed it himself and you weren’t going to correct him. Both of you knew you were grateful for his intervention.

Joel got it, he really did. Some days it took all his energy to not put a bullet in his own head or be done with it and let the dead have at him. The months since Sarah had been killed, had died in his arms, had been the worst of his life. He got you being ready to leave it all behind because most days he was right there with you.

And Joel looked at you and saw himself. He saw the tiredness, the bone deep exhaustion, he saw the hurt and the brokenness that felt like it would never mend. He saw himself in you but he also saw you, he saw the way you didn’t carry a weapon, he had watched a moment that was probably your most vulnerable and he had watched the relief in your features as you fell against him.

It didn’t take him much longer to make his decision.

“C’mon we gotta make the most of the daylight.” Joel said after a few moments of silence and began moving before you could even register his words.

In the span of five minutes you were making two life altering choices, you regretted you first decision but you had a feeling you were making the right decision this time and trailed after Joel as he led the way and for the first time in months it felt easier to breath as you made your way through the city, watching as Joel lay a protective arm in front of you, pushing you behind him, as he dealt with the dead.

__________

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Back To December

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Prompt -  'So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night.’

You felt like you could hardly sit still as you sat at a small table furthest away from the door, trying to get the most amount of privacy for the conversation that was to come. Outside the window snow fell down and you rubbed your hands together, both out of nerves and in an attempt to warm them up.

You had played and replayed how this conversation was going to go a million times over in your head, planned what to say only to scrap each idea as nothing you came up with felt good enough.

The drink you had ordered had been placed on your table only seconds before the bell jingled to announce the door opening and you barely had time to thank the waitress before your mouth went dry. As much as you wanted this conversation, as grateful as you were for it, there was another part of you that wanted to run away.

But you couldn’t run away again, not when you were being given a second chance, even if it was only to have one last conversation before living the rest of your life with regrets over what could've been.

You watched as he scanned the rooms, cheeks red from the cold, before his eyes landed on you. You hated the tension clearly readable even from across the room and how he seemed to have to force his feet to make their way over to you.

“Hi.” He greeted softly, his voice sending an ache through you and you had to force yourself to swallow past the lump in your throat as he sat in the seat across from you.

“Hey,” Your voice was just as soft as his was, if a little more obviously shaky. “Thank you for coming, I’m so glad you made time to see me.”

“Yeah, well, I,” Buck started before he trailed off and shook his head. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” You told him with a small smile, meaning it with every part of you. It had only been two or so weeks since you had last seen him but you had missed him more than words could say. “How is everything? How’s the 118, I haven’t seen them since-” You cut yourself off, neither you or Buck needing you to finish that sentence.

“Things are good, work’s busy but I guess it always is more hectic around the holidays.” He smiled and even though it didn’t meet his eyes you were so glad to see it. “Everyone else is good, Christopher misses you.”

“I miss him too.” Breaking up with Buck was bad but it wasn’t just him you had lost, you had lost the friendship you had made with his friends. You didn’t blame any of them for cutting you off, they were his friends first and would always be in his corner before yours but you missed them all so much.

“How’ve you been?” Buck asked and you couldn’t stop the frown that pulled at your lips because truth be told you hadn’t been great but you wouldn’t tell Buck that, not when it was your fault you were having sleepless night after sleepless night, replaying the same scene, the same conversation, over in your head a million times. You spent nights crying when the memories of weekend trips invaded your mind, summer adventures where Buck drove and you sat at his side, watching him laugh as the two of you sung loudly to the radio, remembered the nights tucked against his chest with his arms wrapped around you and feeling safer than you had ever felt in your whole life.

“I’m okay.” Was about as much as you could muster up and Buck glanced away from you for only a moment before his focus was back on you. The lump in your throat was back and you forced it down, as well as the stinging you felt in the back of your eyes.

The small talk was painful to both of you, the reason why you were here hanging heavily in the air but you were still desperately trying to think of the right thing to say. Buck’s guard was so obviously up and for good reason to. You’d hurt him, you knew he had been hurt before, left behind without a second thought and you had done the same to him.

How could you tell him the reason when you didn’t fully understand why you had done it yourself? How could you tell him that you had panicked, that he had been so perfect, so incredible, always thoughtful, always putting you first, how could you tell him that it was so serious that it had scared you.

Part of you knew he would have understood if you had handled it better, if you had sat him down and told him that this was the most serious relationship you’d ever had, that you loved him more than anything and that terrified you. For some reason you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to do that though, to handle it maturely and take a breath, instead you had walked away in a panic only to regret it every day since.

Buck had every reason to keep his distance now, he had every reason not to show up at all but you were glad he had. You loved him so much and if you ever had a second chance with the man you would never take it for granted.

You shifted in your seat, sitting up straighter and wrapped your hands around your mug just for something to do with them. The lump in your throat seemed to be stuck there but you took another breath and forced yourself to address the reason you had asked Buck to come here.

No part of you was expecting him to take you back but you at least owed him an explanation. People were good at leaving Buck without one and after all the goodness and kindness he had treated you with he at least deserved a reason, he deserved to not spend anymore nights blaming himself and wondering what had gone wrong.

“I’m sorry,” you began and watched as Buck sat up straighter too, his eyes wide and sad as he looked at you and you felt your heart ache. “I’m sorry for that night, Buck. I regret it more than I’ve regretted anything.”

“Why?” Was all Buck was able to choke out and seeing the tears in his eyes made yours sting.

“I wish there was a good reason, Buck. I wish I could tell you something that doesn’t sound as pathetic as the truth.” You told him, voice cracking as you spoke and your grip on the mug tightened.

“Just tell me, Y/N/N, I need to know because I have spent every night agonising over what I did wrong.” He forced out, a single tear sliding down his cheek but he made no move to wipe it away. “I thought we were good.”

“We were, Buck. I promise you, if you don’t believe anything else I say believe this, you were perfect. You were so much more that I could ever ask for, so much more than I deserve and it terrified me. It terrified me Buck because I have never felt this way about anyone in my whole life and I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t know what to do with the fact that I love you Buck, I love you so much and I’m not saying this to win you back, I know I hurt you and that, that is unforgivable because you were nothing but amazing and you didn’t deserve me walking out on you and for that, Buck, I am so sorry.” By the end of the short speech tears were sliding down both your cheeks and you were glad you had sat at the back in the far corner of the room, grateful for the privacy.

“Y/N,” Buck whispered but couldn’t seem to say anything else and you smiled at him, a smile filled with sadness and regret.

“I’m so, so sorry, Buck.” You repeated shakily, “I said this wasn’t me trying to get you back and I meant that but I have spent every night since that night regretting not just talking to you, every night missing you more than anything. If I could go back and change it, go back and just talk to you, God Buck, I'd do it in a heartbeat and I’d understand you never wanting to see me again, to walk away and be done with me-”

“I love you too, Y/N/N.” Buck told you softly, cutting off whatever you were going to say next and you were glad for the interruption both because you had no idea what you were actually saying, the words just falling out of you, but also because you got to hear Buck tell you he loved you for the first time. “I love you so much and trust me I was scared too, hell Bobby and Eddie can tell you how many nights I kept them up talking about it so I get it, I just wished you’d talked to me before leaving.”

The two of you were sat with tears falling down your cheeks, looking at one another with love, sadness, hope, as well a whole mix of other emotions. Despite not knowing what was going to happen, for the first time since you’d left Buck you felt like you could breathe again, like the weight that had been sitting on your chest for weeks was finally gone and you couldn’t help but smile at Buck.

“I wish I could change how I handled it.” You told him softly and he just smiled back at you, reaching across the table and gently pried your hand off the mug to wrap in his hand, his thumb brushing gently against your knuckles.

“Promise me that next time you’ll just talk to me, Y/N. I can’t handle you walking away again.” Buck told you and your eyebrows knitted together before his words fully registered and your eyes widened.

“Next time? Buck I-”

“You were scared and overwhelmed and didn’t know how to handle it. I told you I get it but we have to talk about these things, I don’t want to lose you.” Buck cut you off and you couldn’t help but smile at his words even as more tears filled your eyes.  

“I promise, Buck.” You told him sincerely, still in disbelief that he was so open to fixing things, to not holding your mistake against you.

God, you loved him so much.

“Good because these last few weeks have been hell.” He laughed even as a few more tears slid down his cheeks. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too, Buck.” You said softly and the two of you just sat there for a moment longer, unable to look away from each other, unable to stop smiling as you did.

You might not have been able to go back in time, back to that first week of December where you had walked out of Buck’s apartment with tears sliding down your cheeks, but somehow you were here now with Buck, Buck who had the biggest heart you knew, Buck who would bend over backwards to help anyone, Buck who had the capacity to forgive no matter how many times he got hurt.

You swore to yourself as you squeezed the hand still holding yours that you would never take him for granted, would never let another day go by you don’t tell him you loved him, would never mess up your second chance with Buck.

______

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Prompt - ‘And I couldn't be sure I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn't be for evermore.’

You and Matt had been sitting together on his rooftop, neither of you donned your costumes, content to just sit together under the mid-morning sun, your hands playing with Matt’s and sharing soft kisses. It wasn’t until you pulled away that you saw, off in the distance, a spaceship suddenly appear, the round ship causing your eyes to widen as you listened to Matt and headed downstairs into the apartment, switching on the TV you insisted he have and watching the events play out.

The Avengers, or whatever was left of the Avengers honestly you weren’t sure who was a member and who wasn’t anymore, seemed to have it covered. There was footage of a wizard or two who you didn’t know, Tony Stark was there and you recognised Bruce Banner, then there were the aliens. Whilst there was no sound you could see one of them talking, Tony Stark not looking impressed and cutting him off before the wizards used their powers and suddenly they were fighting.

“Hey, is that Spidey?” You grinned at Matt when you saw a familiar figure swing into frame and Matt raised an eyebrow at you before shaking his head.

“Isn’t this above Spider-Man’s paygrade?” Matt groaned and you laughed before turning back to the screen.

Both of you knew Spider-Man fairly well at this point, neither you or Matt had shared who you were under your masks and neither had Spidey but sometimes he swung by the Kitchen and he was always fun to fight alongside.

You continued to watch the screen, narrating what was going on as it happened, laughing about how insane the camera people were, literal aliens were tearing the streets of New York apart and they were still getting the money shot.

“Wait…” You said, sitting straighter in your seat and leaning forward, Matt raising an eyebrow as he waited for you to continue. “Spider-Man’s on the spaceship…and the spaceship’s gone.”

“Spider-Man was on it?” Matt asked, feeling a wave of worry for the kid because at the end of the day that’s all he was, a kid who put way too much responsibility on his shoulders.

“Iron Man’s heading up too so he should be good.” You said, leaning back into the sofa and letting out a deep breath before cuddling into Matt’s chest, his arm going around your shoulders.

“Aliens.” You grimaced, years of living in New York, years of playing vigilante and you still didn’t think you’d ever get used to everything that happened here.

“Let’s just hope they don’t come back.” Matt chuckled as he pulled you closer, placing a kiss to your head and you nodded before reaching over to turn the TV off, not needing to see reruns of the fight.

It was only a few hours later, you and Matt were back on his rooftop, Matt was talking about the people of New York and what they were doing. It was amazing how everybody was able to simply snap back and carry on with their lives like aliens hadn’t invaded this morning. It was truly ridiculous really and you couldn’t help but smile as you cuddled into Matt who was telling you about a business meeting happening right next to the clean up where cars had been tossed around the streets.

“There’s a school field trip, not too far away, a bunch of kids at MOMA still talking about the spaceship whilst their teacher tries to get them to focus on the trip.” Matt told you as he ran his fingers through your hair, yours trailing along his stomach. “He’s not having much luck.”

“Aliens invade the Earth and everything continues on as normal.” You laughed softly and felt more than heard Matt’s chuckle as it rumbled in his chest. “I think I’ll stick to criminals and the occasional ninja.”

“Not ready to take on the aliens yet? Join the Avengers?” Matt asked and you turned to muffle a laugh into his chest causing his smile to widen.

“I think I’ll stick to our little corner of Hell’s Kitchen, leave the aliens to someone else.” You said because as much as you liked fighting at Spider-Man’s side, especially on the few occasions you’d joined in a bigger fight, you couldn’t stomach the thought of going up against aliens, against powers you knew nothing about.

“Yeah,” Matt sighed softly, tilting your head back gently with the hand in your hair. “I like our little corner.”

You smiled into the kiss as Matt leaned down and you met him half way, the kiss wasn’t hurried, there was no urgency in it. It was soft and lazy, both of you taking your time, not in any rush, both content in each other’s arms.

It was only when Matt pulled away with a frown did you feel a sense of urgency, not quite sure why yet but if Matt was making that face then something was definitely wrong. He stayed silent for a few moments, crease apearing in between his eyebrows as he tilted his head, listening for something you couldn’t hear and you hoped it was just him deciding if a situation needed Daredevil’s intervention.

But when Matt shot up into a sitting position, forcing you up with him from your spot on his chest, you panicked. Matt’s face had gone pale, paler than you’d ever seen with the only exception being when he’d lost too much blood. His head tilted further to the side like he was straining to hear something before his mouth fell open with a silent gasp and you could see his eyes widen.

You trusted Matt’s judgement and for him to look this scared, this worried and confused then you knew you should be scared too.

“Matt, what’s happening?” You asked and it seemed to pull Matt’s attention back to you, shaking his head almost in disbelief but he didn’t answer for a long moment. You could tell he wasn’t ignoring your question, could see the way his mouth opened and closed but nothing came out. “Matt please, you’re scaring me.”

“Something’s wrong.” He told you, his head shifting in every direction like he was hearing too much at once. “The city, it’s…”

In all the time you’d known Matt, from first time meeting him when you were both hidden under your masks to the time you’d spent together as Matt and Y/N, you’d never seen him like this before.

It was terrifying.

“Matt, please tell me what’s happening.” It had to be the aliens, it was the only explanation but you couldn’t see any giant spaceships, no aliens ascending from the sky. As you glanced around it just looked like a regular day.

“It’s, I don’t know, it’s like people are disappearing. I can’t hear- Y/N, I can’t hear their heartbeats, they’re just gone, they’re going out.” Matt told you, turning his attention back to you as his voice trailed into a whisper and you stared back at him with wide eyes.

“What do you mean, gone?” You asked as a wave of anxiety flooded through you and Matt shook his head, turning back towards the streets as he listened.

“I don’t know, I just-” Matt began but cut himself off, his head snapping around to face you, wearing an expression you’d only ever seen once on his face.

It was the expression he wore when you had been shot, he could hear everything and he barely got you to Claire before your breaths came few and far between. Claire had barely managed to bring you back to him but you still remembered that haunted look on his face and swore you’d be more careful because you never wanted to see it again.

And now here it was and you didn’t know why.

Not until you looked down anyway, a strange sensation running through your body and you let out a panicked cry as you saw your hand breaking off and separating into tiny specks of dust.

“No, no, no..” Matt’s voice had you snapping your head up to look at him, tears stinging at your eyes and you could see them pooling in his.

“Matt, what’s happening to me?” You asked, the tears slipping down your cheeks and Matt let out a choked sobbed, pulling you into his arms, holding you tightly like he could keep you in one piece. “Matt, I’m scared.”

“No, no, shh, you’re ok, you’re ok.” Matt murmured, his lips finding their way to your forehead, letting them linger there and you could feel his tears wetting your skin.

“Matt, plea…” Your voice trailed off into nothing and Matt was slumping over, you suddenly not in his arms and your breathing, your sobs, your heartbeat was just gone, like it hadn’t been there to begin.

The tears fell past Matt’s eyes, heartbroken sobs leaving him as he stayed hunched over on the roof of his building and as he cried he heard so many in the city doing the exact same thing whilst more and more heartbeats faded into nothing.

The Blip.

That’s what they were calling the damn thing. The thing that took you had a name and Matt despised it.

It had been eight months, eight months since that warm, sunny day in spring, eight months since you had been taken from him. Now it was November, the sky was grey and Matt could still hear the fear in your voice as you pleaded with him. Eight months without you, eight months where he had become nothing but a shell of himself.

Eight months of replaying every memory he had of you because the thought of forgetting you sent an ache through his heart. Eight months of thinking about all the words he should have said to you, words he would never get to say to you.

Matt stood by the window, the weather seemed to match his mood. He could hear the rain smacking against the window and the pavement, could hear the rumble of thunder, could feel the coldness on his skin but he didn’t care.

He’d been numb since that day all those months ago. At first he put on the Daredevil suit every day and found bad guys to take his anger, his pain, out on. Frank’s words had run heavy in his head, letting him know he was only one bad day away from being him and Matt knew he was right, he just didn’t think the bad day that would push him over the edge would be losing you.

It had seemed so unimaginable months ago that it never even crossed his mind. When you put on your mask you were always with him, fighting side by side, he always had your back so he knew you’d be safe.

But now you were gone and Matt was left alone. It had been months since he put the suit on, it didn’t feel right anymore, like it suddenly didn’t fit but he knew it was because you weren’t there with him. Daredevil had worked alone for so long before you showed up but then you had refused to leave and he found he actually liked working with you.

Matt couldn’t even remember why he used to put on the suit, couldn’t remember what he used to fight for. Everything seemed so pointless without you. How was he expected to just go on about his life? How could he pretend that he was ok when he felt like a piece of him had been ripped away?

He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t fake it until it didn’t hurt anymore because it would always hurt, he knew the pain and heartbreak and the rage he felt would be for evermore.

Somehow five years passed, five long painful years. Matt was surprised he was still alive in all honesty because he had completely lost himself. Considering how reluctant he had been to let you into his life at all back in those early days, he had to hand it to you, you really had wormed your way deep into his life, entwining yourself around every part of it and making it impossible for him to move on.

Not that I ever tried to move on, Matt mused to himself as he walked the streets of Hell’s Kitchen. He was practically catching his death, the cold was bitingly chilly and the rain was almost painful but still he hadn’t bothered to grab a coat on his way out of the door. He just needed to be out of the apartment.

What had once been an empty place had been filled with lots of little trinkets and all the things that made it feel like a home. Sometimes Matt thought about moving, there was too much you in the apartment but ultimately he never did, he couldn’t leave behind something that was a part of you.

It had been five years and Matt hated himself for forgetting the sound of your laughter, he hated that he knew your favourite song but couldn’t remember how you sounded as you sung it whilst dancing around his kitchen, he hated that his sheets and his sweaters didn’t smell like you anymore.

It had been five years since you died and five years since Matt Murdock became a ghost, still alive but really he had died that day with you. Some days he thought about doing it, about ending his pain but he could never do it, catholic guilt and all that.

He knew he’d feel this loss until he took his last breath and some days he longed to put the suit back on, to pick a fight and not fight like he used to, to let the other guy get the hits in until Matt felt himself slipping away from the world.

It was tempting but he couldn’t bring himself to do that either. So instead he was doomed to this life, for the pain to last for evermore.

He was so lost in thought that he missed it at first. It wasn’t until he bumped into somebody that definitely hadn’t been there moments before that he took notice, his eyes widening, breath catching as he heard it.

Heartbeat after heartbeat, it was almost overwhelming and Matt couldn’t stop the strangled sob that left him. More and more heartbeats returned, Matt could hear every single one of them, could hear the excited yells and confused murmurs.

It had been five years, five long, lonely, heartbreakingly exhausting years since you died. Five years since Matt Murdock last felt happy but here in the streets of Hell’s Kitchen a grin broke out across his face, tears pouring from his eyes and he didn’t hesitate to turn around.

He ran, he ran like his life depended on it because it did. As he got closer to the apartment he paused, nearly tripping himself up because there, that was a heartbeat Matt Murdock knew, one he had forgotten the sound of but now he heard it again it was hard to remember how he could have ever forgotten.

He kept running, he ran all the way up the stairs and through his apartment before he was on the roof and there you were. It was really you.

“Matt?” You asked and Matt felt his knees buckle beneath him, barely managing to hold himself upright as he forced his feet to move towards you.

He had to know you were real and when he lifted his hand and cupped your cheek he couldn’t stop the heaving sobs that escaped him and he buried his face against your neck, holding you tightly against him.

“Hey, it’s alright, you’re ok.” You murmured, rubbing your hand up and down his back whilst the other wrapped around his waist. “You’re ok, what happened?”

You didn’t know, Matt thought. He had gone through the worst five years of his life and you had no idea what had happened. Matt was going to have to be the one to explain that five years had passed without you, that the world had somehow carried on without you.

But that didn’t matter right now, Matt wasn’t sure he was capable of words at that moment. The tears and sobs weren’t slowing down but he didn’t care, it had been so long, so damn long, he never thought he’d have you back and now that you were here Matt was never letting you go again.

“Matt, baby,” You whispered, kissing his hair and pulling him closer.

You were so painfully confused, mind fuzzy and unable to remember anything. One minute it was sunny and you had been on the roof with Matt, the next it was pouring down and Matt was nowhere to be seen. You’d only been out in the rain for a few moments before Matt had burst onto the roof like a mad man, staring straight at you like you were a ghost.

“Hey baby, can we go inside, I don’t want you to get sick.” You said softly, noticing how pale Matt had been before he hid himself away in your neck. You had seen the dark circles that were practically black eyes and how gaunt his features were, it looked like you weren’t the only ghost on the roof.

Matt didn’t say anything for a long moment but then he nodded into your neck, placing a kiss to your skin causing you to shiver before he pulled away, his hand coming up to cup your cheek again and he brought your foreheads together.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He whispered brokenly and despite having no clue what was going on you felt your heart break for him.

It wasn’t long before the two of you were in dry clothes and Matt had you tucked under the covers on the bed, pulling you against his chest and holding you tightly in his arms, terrified that you’d disappear again.

“Think you can tell me what’s going on now?” You murmured as your fingers drew random shapes into his chest, from where you lay you could feel Matt’s heart hammering against his chest and though he had managed to stop the sobs there were still tears falling down his face.

It wasn’t long before you were in the same position, tears pouring down your cheeks as you held Matt close to you, heart breaking as you listened to him describe what had happened five years ago and all the time in between. Hearing how lost, how broken and lonely he was, hearing that he had been ready to join you years ago, God you were a sobbing mess by the time he was done and the two of you could do nothing but cry and hold each other close.

And yet even with the tears falling down his face Matt felt better than he had in years, somehow you were back from the dead and he would never take a single day for granted again. Matt had thought for sure the rest of his life would be filled with pain and nothing else, yet here you were and Matt knew the pain wouldn’t be for evermore.

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