Erik: Who Wants To Make Five Dollars?

Erik: Who wants to make five dollars?

Jean: How?

Erik: I need someone to take the fall.

Charles: *distantly* Oh my god!

Lorna: What did you do?!

Erik: I can’t tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked.

Wanda: Why can’t you–

Charles: OH MY GOD!!

Pietro: Make it ten.

Erik: Done!

Charles: OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!

Erik: You’re a good son.

Erik: *dragging Pietro out by the ear* I GOT HIM, DARLING! DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!

Alex: Y’know, there’s a lotta handsome fish in the sea.

Scott: Yeah, thanks, but I’m . . .

Hank: I thought you had such a good time with that Maximoff boy?

Scott: Yeah, uh, right now I’m looking for just female fishes exclusively. Pietro was just a–

Ororo: So you’re bi?

Scott: No, no, ‘Ro. I’m not, I’m definitely not. I’m not bi, Hank.

Hank: That’s okay.

Scott: I’m not.

Hank: I love you.

Scott: Can we just move on from this conversation?

Alex: I love my bi son.

Pietro: What’s a guy have to do to get some decent treatment around here?

Pyro: You know Quicksilver? The criminal?!

Scott: Yeah, we’re just, uh, work friends.

Pietro: Work friends? I’ve been inside of you!

Pyro: *immediate gagging*

Peter: Everything’s fine, Scott. | Scott: Peter- baby, Sweetheart, I know your relationship with the english language is uhh, strictly casual, but you- I- *deep inhale* ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU WHAT’S NOT FINE.

Sorry it’s taken me so long to respond, anon! This describes them in a nutshell, no matter what version of them it is, no matter what universe it is. Peter absolutely does not know when the appropriate time to panic is and Scott panics way too fast.

Wanda: What the fuck?!

Pietro: What was that?!?

Wanda: That was . . .

Lorna: That was fucking bullshit, that’s what it was!!!

Scott: Are you guys okay?

Pietro: Why did that bitch need all that room?!

Scott: Are . . . are you watching Titanic?

Peter: Good question, Scott!

Scott: How come you don’t point out when I ask good questions?

Jean: I don’t love you like he does.

Peter: Told you.