My Journey Into Occult Science

My journey into occult science

1. i was extremely perceptive of others' emotions and thoughts since a young age. i somehow always knew what others were thinking/feeling

2. lifelong paranormal experiences. i used to be scared of ghosts until i finally realized that something deeper was going on. as far as my memory goes, i have always "felt" some paranormal experiences

3. i started browsing psychic and oracle related content at age 12/13

4. started reading astrology since age 15/16

5. started reading vedic astrology since age 19/20

6. started doing witchy things unknowingly (burning papers, handmade tarot cards) since 2020/21

7. i am very strong in manifestation department. since childhood, i somehow "always knew that if it is deep within my heart, this will come true"

8. i have a heavy 8th house. i always knew "that my life transforms and i become a new person with new lifestyle, new hobbies, new personality, new social circle, new stage of life". this was before i had actually read astrology.

9. i started browsing more and more things that turned out to be spiritual in nature

10. my intuition and "pull towards" occult science is finally here.

I have accepted that this is my life path. I was born for this. All the dots, coincidences, innocent acts all connected to occult. I WAS BORN FOR THIS!

SCORPIO ASCENDANT

I always wanted to be "well liked" by everyone - in the sense of being an innocent, sweet summer child whom everyone adores and babies.

But instead I provoke extreme reactions in people. Most people misunderstand me as rude and malicious. Perhaps it is my Scorpio ascendant.

Girls get "jealous" of me. I am average looking though. Many a times I have seen girls literally being jealous of me in school and acting against me.

I am not "liked by everyone" but I am more like a league of my own. I am solitary and independent. I dont expect anything from anyone.

Even I am surprised if someone thinks "nice" things about me. I feel like I burn all brides with my ego. My ego and attitude burn all bridges.

I crave deep SINGLEMINDED devotion from people close to me. I want to worship and be worshipped by those who matter to me.

I am possessive and controlling. I expect too much and give too much of myself.

I guess if I was a Libra/Taurus/Pisces/Sagittarius ascendant, I would not get such extreme reactions from people. Perhaps people would simply "like" me.

But being a scorpio ascendant, I have to face extreme subconscious reactions from people. It is like I provoke something in them that they didnt even know existed. I trigger their subconscious mind just with my presence. Most people find me "intimidating". They are scared of me. They think I am too private and secretive. They think i am too mysterious. They think that i am always hiding something and they feel threatened. But behind the mask, just crave deep devotion and intense connection with someone.

I guess people dont just "like" me because I give off sexual vibes. I am too sexual for a "nice girl". I emit sexual aura, sexual energy even if I dont want to.

MOON IN 8TH HOUSE/VENUS IN 8TH HOUSE HEALING 🎇🌕

1. If you have either of these placements, you would know how intense your feelings are. I have both of these placements and I have BPD. 8th house represents (in my understanding): mysteries, unpredictability, psychological destruction and rebirth, everything hidden, shocking, life transforming, challenging, losing everything and beginning again. This is a very challenging house.

2. After healing, the first thing I noticed was that I became gravitated towards 9th house subjects like philosophy, religion, spirituality, learning, higher education, studying, meaning of life, higher wisdom, divine power.

3. I also let go of all my bad habits easily: no more porn, no more binge eating, no more toxic behaviours, no more mindless entertainment.

4. I have become a very private person and spend most of my time in loneliness. Majority of my planets are connected to the 8th house or aspected by 8th house; once I internalized that my life is going to have the themes of 8th house, I surrendered to the higher forces and stopped resisting.

5. I am very spiritual and religious. I read about all religions. I was atheist/agnostic for a long time but then I switched to religion on my own. I dont have a guru. I research and figure out everything on my own.

6. My intuition is my friend. I am very intuitive and the calmer I am the clearer my intuition is. I do feel lack of friends and loneliness but I will not trade my natural gifts with any number of friends.

7. One major thing you should remember about 8th house is: LOSS. Loss of everything you have built. Loss of your life. Loss of your possessions. Loss of your body. Loss of everything that you hold dear. loss of everything. Death is the biggest loss. 8th house represents death. It is a very scary and painful house.

This is all for now.

SUN IN THE 7TH HOUSE HEALING ☀️

I have written about moon and venus, now comes the next boss: SUN. Sun as the name suggests is ego, personality, sense of self, self esteem, self confidence, self image. This is my journey of healing:

1. I was lifeless without a partner. I wanted to get married ever since I was a little girl. I was always in a relationship - whether real life or IMAGINARY. Yes, I did a lot of maladaptive daydreaming. I felt like finding a boyfriend was the only goal of my life.

2. I did not have a sense of self. I did a lot of mirroring. I was afraid of being alone by myself so I would either daydream or sit with someone just to feel alive. My self esteem was so low. I was afraid of social rejection, humiliation and insults. I did not have an identity - who I am, my existence, my hobbies, my skills; I only focused on other people and never on myself. I was an entertainer and people pleaser because I was afraid people will abandon me if I didnt entertain them all the time. I was afraid of being "replaced" by another girl.

3. I was a devoted partner. I would write poems, essays, songs, draw pictures and idolize my "partner" and after "break up" (my relationships were short lived), i would cry like hell. I gave away my self worth into the hands of other people. If they praised me, I was happy. If they scolded me, I was depressed. I didnt have self respect. I would do anything for attention and wanted to be everyone's favourite person. Of course it was exhausting to live like this.

AFTER HEALING:

1. I have carefully created an identity for myself: spirituality, my career, my family, social work, religion, occult, self realization and marriage. Marriage is still a big part of my life but it is not the center of my universe.

2. I was quite egoistic and my relationships had ego battles. Now, my ego has calmed down, my arrogance has dissolved. I dont do people pleasing. I dont try to impress anyone.

3. I write journal daily, read psychology to find the root cause of my personality: feeling of inadequacy, emptiness, not feeling good enough, insecurities, fear of getting old, fear of being boring. I have stopped daydreaming and I can sit with my feelings, so this is good progress.

4. I am my priority not my husband. I am not his doormat. I don't panic that he will leave me for someone else. Where will he go? I focus on creating values. If I am a one of a kind woman, that is what matters. Focus on yourself, everything else will fall into place. Fulfillment comes from within. Your husband will not make you "whole/complete". You are already complete on your own. See your inner sun. Dont be dependent on anyone for emotional/psychological support. You will stop projecting on your partner to feel alive, once you start working on inner development.

5. Read a book on DBT skills and take notes - there are at least 25 reasons why people dont just suddenly "leave" one day. Sun in 7th house guarantees a very good husband if you can manage to heal yourself. I have read that this placement gives a successful marriage! But don't be too happy because next comes the 8th house - loss/rebirth. Anticipate death and voice in the moment.

6. Focus on your career. Sun in 7th house is a good placement for public role in career. Everything around us is career - people running tumblr.com are doing it for career, your cab driver/restaurant cooks/internet service provider/teacher/sweeper/your mobile phone dealer/all the apps you use, everyone is doing everything for career. So, girls, focus on your career. Self esteem and career go hand in hand.

VENUS IN 8TH HOUSE/VENUS IN SCORPIO/MOON IN 8TH HOUSE HEALING AND WAY FORWARD

1. A lot has been said and written about venus/moon in 8th house and how their feelings are intense, deep, stormy and they feel the highest of highs and lowest of lows. 8th house venus and moon also give obsessive tendencies, addictive personality and issues with subconscious expectations. 8th house is the house of transformations and identity changes. So, you will NEVER feel at ease if you have your venus and moon in 8th house. Period.

2. If you are self aware and notice your own actions, you would know how USELESS it is to act on your feelings. Feelings are like clouds, they pass, you are not your feelings. But since our feelings are so intense, we cannot distinguish between facts and feelings. So, are we destined for a life of obsessions, repeated toxic behaviours and living at the mercy of 8th house?

No.

3. After healing from my 8th house antardasha, I have been contemplating a lot on the nature of love and romance. Since my emotions are intense, I cannot think rationally when it comes to relationships. And honestly, girls... men are not worth the effort! Seriously! Men are not worth the "effort". I repeat, men are not worth the effort, no matter what the media tells you. This doesnt mean you have to be "strong independent girl who needs no man". NO! You have to figure out what you want/need from a man and be very very clear about it. For example, I need financial security, I need exclusivity, I need social status. I want empathy, I want good conversations, I want good sex. Remember - I am not referring to normie placements lol, I am referring to MOON/VENUS IN 8TH house placements - INTENSE EMOTIONS.

4. For girls who have venus or moon in 8th house or scorpio sign, a very good idea is to devote significant time to spirituality! Be a polymath and learn a lot of things! Read books and have 100s of hobbies! Read about Buddhism, there are millions of websites on internet who will tell you all about our emotions and feelings and how to tackle them like a Buddhist monk!

5. If you are tired of intense, confusing, abusive, obsessive tendencies, devote yourself to spirituality. Do yoga. Read about Buddhism, Advaita Vedanta. Read world mythology. Read about occult, do tarot, read articles and posts on astrology. Have 100s of hobbies (sketchbook, plants, animal welfare, collect items, read books, manifestation, writing, journaling is a must for ALL THE INTENSE GIRLS GANG, paint), put your energy out there with your hands, use your hands. Make yourself a priority. You dont have to follow the rules of movies/media/novels/society because you are an INTENSE LADY so you need personal rules that suit your personality. I hope this makes sense.

6. Scorpio sign and 8th house are spiritual powerhouse. They are shortcuts to spiritual progress. If you learn to master the 8th house, you can get free boosts in your spiritual journey. We are born as humans to attain enlightenment and escape the cycle of death and birth. Anyone who has been through the transit of 8th house knows how it takes everything from you and forces you to build something new. It can take your personality, your job, your marriage, your health, your savings AND it forces you to make a new personality, start a new career path, get into a new relationship, start saving again, changes your health status. It is like the death of your old persona and birth of a new YOU.

7. Venus in 8th house/scorpio sign girls have a natural charm and magnetism. Even if they sit like a panda, people will still be attracted to them. So you need not worry about keeping your man, because you're a literal magnet. But you must learn to redirect your energy to yourself. Instead of wasting your free time on internet or men, just sit down and meditate. This will enhance your intuition. It will give you spiritual insights. It will open portals to the secrets of life.

SPIRITUALITY is the name of the game. Thanks for reading.

Sun in 7th HOUSE and PERSONALITY

1. Sun in 7th house people dont feel good on their own. They NEED to be in a relationship - probably romantic. They are a dedicated partner and take pride in their relationship. Relationship gives them purpose and meaning in life. They are almost always in a relationship. When in relationship, their partner reflects their feelings back to them and this makes their existence feel alive. They feel seen and valued in their relationship. They have a deep desire to bond and commit to someone. A relationship gives them purpose and strength. They dont have an inner sense of self. They feel like they are empty body and their partner fills them up with light and life.

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2. They like to be around other people but unlike sun in the 11th house, they prefer one on one relationship. They are dependent on their close relationships for identity. Since 7th house is the house of marriage, they identify with their married partner. They hide behind their partner's personality because they dont have their own personality. They can be pleasers and try very hard to impress their partner.

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3. They must learn to overcome their irrational fear of "rejection/abandonment". They must overcome their need to "be liked by everyone in the world". They must overcome their need to be "dependent on their partner". They might use journal, journal prompt, soul searching, hobbies, work, family, social causes, pets and books to create a sense of self. They must learn to be self confident and REMIND themselves "who" they are because they are sure to forget it.

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4. Even then they will feel "invisible". They feel like they are invisible empty and dont know who they are. But self awareness is the key. It is your 7th house sun which is setting behind the horizons and hiding your own identity from you.

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