Mars In 10th House INSECURITIES

Mars in 10th house INSECURITIES

This is my observation of people having Mars in 10th house.

1. They are competitive, hard working, career minded, take pride in their capabilities. They are genuinely interested in work and career and like to deliver their best. What differentiates them from a regular worker is their ambition and passion to reach the heights of their career. They like to be seen as capable and deserving by their peers.

2. But God are they insecure! They are insecure that their profession is not good enough. They resent what they do not have. They feel inferior to those who are well off compared to them. It seems to me that Mars gives them the motivation and potential on the inside, but does not give them the suitable work on the outside. They are not where they want to be. They dont enjoy their job. They dont like it. But they wont show it.

Is it just me or does 8th house moon give a very complicated psychology? I have moon in 8th house Gemini and I feel like I am going crazy.

1. My psychology is so complicated. I feel like i am always submerged under water. Like I am not in this world but some other world. I came back to this world in snaps and see what people around me are doing with their lives. It feels frustrating.

2. I am very unstable. There is like psychological pain in my head. it makes it hard for me to study and function. I sleep a lot. And after I wake up I feel like my whole personality has changed.

3. My personality "shifts" everyday. I feel like a new person everyday. I am very forgetful. If I set goals, values, ideas for myself today, I will forget them tomorrow and will need to recall everything again and again.

4. I dont have a stable sense of self. I forget who I am. I just forget who I am and what i stand for. My mind just blanks out. This is different from a zen like state.

5. Occult comes naturally to me. there is strange familiarity and homely feeling when i read astrology and occult. but I am going crazy because I have a real life too.

6. I have lack of object constancy. But I can deal with it now.

SCORPIO ASCENDANT

I always wanted to be "well liked" by everyone - in the sense of being an innocent, sweet summer child whom everyone adores and babies.

But instead I provoke extreme reactions in people. Most people misunderstand me as rude and malicious. Perhaps it is my Scorpio ascendant.

Girls get "jealous" of me. I am average looking though. Many a times I have seen girls literally being jealous of me in school and acting against me.

I am not "liked by everyone" but I am more like a league of my own. I am solitary and independent. I dont expect anything from anyone.

Even I am surprised if someone thinks "nice" things about me. I feel like I burn all brides with my ego. My ego and attitude burn all bridges.

I crave deep SINGLEMINDED devotion from people close to me. I want to worship and be worshipped by those who matter to me.

I am possessive and controlling. I expect too much and give too much of myself.

I guess if I was a Libra/Taurus/Pisces/Sagittarius ascendant, I would not get such extreme reactions from people. Perhaps people would simply "like" me.

But being a scorpio ascendant, I have to face extreme subconscious reactions from people. It is like I provoke something in them that they didnt even know existed. I trigger their subconscious mind just with my presence. Most people find me "intimidating". They are scared of me. They think I am too private and secretive. They think i am too mysterious. They think that i am always hiding something and they feel threatened. But behind the mask, just crave deep devotion and intense connection with someone.

I guess people dont just "like" me because I give off sexual vibes. I am too sexual for a "nice girl". I emit sexual aura, sexual energy even if I dont want to.

Never compare yourself to anyone else. And I dont just mean it in a cliche way.

1. If you are an astrologer, just look at your birth chart and Vimshottari dasha. You will see how EVERYTHING in your life was already destined to happen. Relationships? Check. Abuse? Check. Good marks in exam? Check. Distant father? Check.

2. Have respect for individual souls. Everyone you compare yourself to has their own birth chart and everything that happens to them was destined to happen. Perhaps they were destined to get better marks than you. Embrace what you have and be grateful for it. Compete with yourself and who you were the day before. If you just keep overdoing yourself, perhaps one day eventually you will get the highest marks in exam too. It will only happen if you focus on your own efforts not somebody else.

3. Whenever you compare yourself to someone else, you are projecting something that resides within you. This is an opportunity to do shadow work. Now you can work upon uplifting your self esteem, find coping mechanisms, learn new skills and hobbies, use affirmations to stay positive, write journal. Other people are like mirrors and you can see yourself in them and identify yourself.

4. One thing I do is to look at my birth chart and see where most of my planets are located. I then see what areas of my life are controlled by those houses/planets/signs. This helps me focus on those things as priority. For eg, my birth chart shows focus on marriage (7th house), occult (8th house), humanitarian cause (11th house), communication (3rd house), hobbies (5th house). So, I dont worry about not having a social life, not having a solid personality (1st house), not going for higher education (9th house). I dont worry about being lonely since my personal planets are connected to 8th house.

Therefore astrology validates and confirms our personal experiences in life. it can be used to boost our self confidence and find self security.

My journey into occult science

1. i was extremely perceptive of others' emotions and thoughts since a young age. i somehow always knew what others were thinking/feeling

2. lifelong paranormal experiences. i used to be scared of ghosts until i finally realized that something deeper was going on. as far as my memory goes, i have always "felt" some paranormal experiences

3. i started browsing psychic and oracle related content at age 12/13

4. started reading astrology since age 15/16

5. started reading vedic astrology since age 19/20

6. started doing witchy things unknowingly (burning papers, handmade tarot cards) since 2020/21

7. i am very strong in manifestation department. since childhood, i somehow "always knew that if it is deep within my heart, this will come true"

8. i have a heavy 8th house. i always knew "that my life transforms and i become a new person with new lifestyle, new hobbies, new personality, new social circle, new stage of life". this was before i had actually read astrology.

9. i started browsing more and more things that turned out to be spiritual in nature

10. my intuition and "pull towards" occult science is finally here.

I have accepted that this is my life path. I was born for this. All the dots, coincidences, innocent acts all connected to occult. I WAS BORN FOR THIS!

SUN IN THE 7TH HOUSE HEALING ☀️

I have written about moon and venus, now comes the next boss: SUN. Sun as the name suggests is ego, personality, sense of self, self esteem, self confidence, self image. This is my journey of healing:

1. I was lifeless without a partner. I wanted to get married ever since I was a little girl. I was always in a relationship - whether real life or IMAGINARY. Yes, I did a lot of maladaptive daydreaming. I felt like finding a boyfriend was the only goal of my life.

2. I did not have a sense of self. I did a lot of mirroring. I was afraid of being alone by myself so I would either daydream or sit with someone just to feel alive. My self esteem was so low. I was afraid of social rejection, humiliation and insults. I did not have an identity - who I am, my existence, my hobbies, my skills; I only focused on other people and never on myself. I was an entertainer and people pleaser because I was afraid people will abandon me if I didnt entertain them all the time. I was afraid of being "replaced" by another girl.

3. I was a devoted partner. I would write poems, essays, songs, draw pictures and idolize my "partner" and after "break up" (my relationships were short lived), i would cry like hell. I gave away my self worth into the hands of other people. If they praised me, I was happy. If they scolded me, I was depressed. I didnt have self respect. I would do anything for attention and wanted to be everyone's favourite person. Of course it was exhausting to live like this.

AFTER HEALING:

1. I have carefully created an identity for myself: spirituality, my career, my family, social work, religion, occult, self realization and marriage. Marriage is still a big part of my life but it is not the center of my universe.

2. I was quite egoistic and my relationships had ego battles. Now, my ego has calmed down, my arrogance has dissolved. I dont do people pleasing. I dont try to impress anyone.

3. I write journal daily, read psychology to find the root cause of my personality: feeling of inadequacy, emptiness, not feeling good enough, insecurities, fear of getting old, fear of being boring. I have stopped daydreaming and I can sit with my feelings, so this is good progress.

4. I am my priority not my husband. I am not his doormat. I don't panic that he will leave me for someone else. Where will he go? I focus on creating values. If I am a one of a kind woman, that is what matters. Focus on yourself, everything else will fall into place. Fulfillment comes from within. Your husband will not make you "whole/complete". You are already complete on your own. See your inner sun. Dont be dependent on anyone for emotional/psychological support. You will stop projecting on your partner to feel alive, once you start working on inner development.

5. Read a book on DBT skills and take notes - there are at least 25 reasons why people dont just suddenly "leave" one day. Sun in 7th house guarantees a very good husband if you can manage to heal yourself. I have read that this placement gives a successful marriage! But don't be too happy because next comes the 8th house - loss/rebirth. Anticipate death and voice in the moment.

6. Focus on your career. Sun in 7th house is a good placement for public role in career. Everything around us is career - people running tumblr.com are doing it for career, your cab driver/restaurant cooks/internet service provider/teacher/sweeper/your mobile phone dealer/all the apps you use, everyone is doing everything for career. So, girls, focus on your career. Self esteem and career go hand in hand.