Tw Suicide Mention

⚠️Tw suicide mention⚠️

I don't know what to do anymore

My friend want to kill herself and I can do shit about it

I mean I am trying my best to stop her but it looks like nothing reaches her

She doesn't listen

She doesn't want to listen

And I feel so hopeless, so useless, so worthless....

If she kills herself I will blame myself till the end

I am going to the doctor tomorrow for a little control after being ill (yes, it was covid) and if she checks my lungs and they will be fine then idk man...I will jump in front of the train to see if I am unbreakable because man I am a smoker

Eating less than 1000 kcal a day ? On a daily basis for me.... without trying hard

I am with my "parents" by the sea and I got into the water with my "mum" but there were so many jellyfish and I got scared. I touched it by accident and there were around me and I was shaking...

And my "mum" ?

She was laughing and joking about me being scared

Nice

Why the fuck my plushie smells like a fucking men's perfume when I was the only one who slept with it ? And I just came back from my holiday and plushie was with me ?

Da fuck ?

It's not like I mind it but how ?

I'm on a holiday trip with my "parents" and here are horses and as I horse rider I am I am helping kids. And when we were waiting yesterday for an owner to come and start the lesson one kid looked at my barcode-arms and asked "What happened to your arms ?"

I said "Oh, that's nothing."

Other kid, older one, said "Did the cat from this morning did it ?" (In the morning I'd put a cat on my shoulder to keep it away from the dog and the owner said to be careful because it might scratch me )

I ofc said no and we didn't continue the conversation but kids are kinds intelligent....they sometimes think