That Happened - Tumblr Posts
missed my stop and got nothing planned the rest of the day so i guess i'm going on an adventure, buh-bye
when the original artist likes my horny post about their art i feel weirdly exposed. like god peered down through the clouds at me while i was reading smut or smth. pretty funny tho
Today i sat with my head on a table while a friend ranted about how school sucks and another sang the pokemon theme song. Simultaneously. The duality of man is fascinating
"i'll take a 15min nap"
wakes up an hour later, alarms blaring throughout the body. we're sick now, the left arm is not responding, and we've lost contact with three of the five senses. also the brain is refusing to turn on
That happened
Describe your life in two words
I’m late
empire strikes back is a good ass movie darth vader killed a dude through skype
I didn’t go all Reynolds pamphlet and humiliate myself for three notes, dammit!
Ok so I’m at a Fall Out Boy concert and I was trying to get to my seat. I was in the wrong row, so I tried to step over the chairs behind me to get to the right row. So I stepped into a chair, and the entire row of chairs came crashing down and in (they were folding chairs) and I fell of and kind of into the chair. Everyone was staring, and I figured I might as well post this before someone else does. Can’t wait for my tumblr infamy and my stupidity immortalized.
Nothing about Luke’s diagnosis was funny. Brad found himself laughing anyway. Why wouldn’t it stop? Then Brad thought it might be better just to go on with it. Maybe Luke would just go away. If only he didn’t live next door. Oh God. Was he still laughing?! This was way past explanation. Maybe Chris would take a picture.
(Click!)
Brad and Chris froze watching in terror. A squirrel picked up Brads new iPhone and posted this pic seven times. Not impressive or funny. It’s 2021. A $1000 phone should tell squirrels to go away when they pick it up. This one proved squirrel user friendly. How smart could this phone really be? Chris then asked how a squirrel got to the 29th floor anyway. Brad thought perhaps squirrels sneak in when it rains cats and dogs. Nobody polices that and everyone in Southern California runs and hides the second mist happens. Chris agreed. It wasn’t a terrible theory. Science obviously further off than that. The ‘smart’ phone was on Face ID. That’s exactly when Brad’s paranoia with squirrels began.
fantastic duo
Once when someone showed me some writing in Arabic I used the expression “well it’s all Greek to me”
Neither the person showing it to me nor the other person looking at it knew the expression so I spent the next 10 minutes trying to explain that no I know it’s not Greek no I don’t think it looks anything like Greek it’s an expression it means all I see is squiggles how have u never heard this before???
Do you ever like physically feel yourself pass your mental breaking point and then all you can think is “oh these next few days are going to be interesting”
I'm on a holiday trip with my "parents" and here are horses and as I horse rider I am I am helping kids. And when we were waiting yesterday for an owner to come and start the lesson one kid looked at my barcode-arms and asked "What happened to your arms ?"
I said "Oh, that's nothing."
Other kid, older one, said "Did the cat from this morning did it ?" (In the morning I'd put a cat on my shoulder to keep it away from the dog and the owner said to be careful because it might scratch me )
I ofc said no and we didn't continue the conversation but kids are kinds intelligent....they sometimes think
Today I almost got eaten by a bear !
Just kidding !
Today I was hiking with my "parents" in the forest. We were aware that there might be bears but as long as we've been hiking in our life we've never seen a bear. And we were walking, I was the last one in a row, and suddenly I heard something. At first I thought that the tree is touching another so I was kinda ubothered and continued walking but moment later the same sounds came from the forest. I stopped, my "mum" stopped and we looked at each other.
"That's a tree." I said
"I'm not sure." she answered and that's when we heard it again. "That sounds like a bear."
And we all started walking faster to get away from the growling. Few minutes later we've met two people who said that they had heard growling 15 minutes ago in the same place we did
when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services
Shout out to that one time bimbo doll started playing in the recommended songs for my mother miranda playlist