Suicudal - Tumblr Posts
Talk with a NPC: Shigaraki x suicidal!oc
Unknown POV:
"Save yourself..."
These whispering words are echoing through my brain for many years, spoken by someone I used to know with his last breath. What their purpose in my life was I don't know, but I hear it every second of my pesky life.
You may think, who am I?
I, my friend, am someone who is a myth, if you see me you think it was your imagination playing tricks on you, when you hear me you think it was the wind howling through the trees. I my friend am a ghost, a gossip, someone who doesn't exist. I am Alpha.
Alpha's POV:
"Police open up! We know you are in there! Come outside with your hands on the back of your neck!" These were the frightening words I woke up to. The police found me again, it only lasted for two weeks. I had to run through my escape routine for the 204th time this morning. I grabbed my map and my backpack, put on my oversized hoody and ran down the emergency stairs. The last that I heard from the abandoned building were the confused yells from the police officers. I ran, ran so fast as I could, going to the next building on the list. To get there I needed to get a train.
After a long train ride I had to walk for a bit, I didn't mind as long as I was safe I would cross the earth for it.
I arrived at the abandoned building, threw my bag through the window and jumped inside myself as well. Suddenly I heard voices coming from downstairs, "did you hear that too Twice?" a hoarse voice said. "yea bossman, I think it came from upstairs - downstairs -." This voice was much lighter and energetic in tone. "I thought that this building was supposed to be abandoned!" I screamed internally. My adrenaline kicked in, I panicked not knowing where to hide in an almost empty room. Ghosts began spinning wild around my body so it looked like a tornado of death. I could hear the door clink being pushed down, I quickly hid my face with my bandage wrapped hands, not knowing whom was going to come through that door.
Twice's POV:
I slowly cracked the iron door open, only seeing someone crouched on the cold hardwood floor. I couldn't see the gender of the person though, because of the many layers of bandages that covered their facial features, but I could see that they were scared by the shivering body they had. I reached towards the cotton fabric shielding their face to see who we were dealing with, but they grabbed my hand. The strange thing was that also their hands were covered in the bandages as well and they stuttering spoke to me, " Don't touch me bastard!" they yelled harshly at me. the voice where they spoke in sounded like a female one, so I assumed that it was a woman I was speaking to. Her words were verry threatening and defensive, but with a hint of fear towards me. "Is it alright if you come with me? Then the boss will decide what will happen." I whispered. She shook her head weakly , I grabbed her wrist and pulled her gently out of the room.
Shigaraki's POV:
Twice finally came back downstairs, but I didn't expect that he would bring someone with him. A shady figure in an oversized black hoody was calmly following him, I assumed he saw potential in our little burglar whom had the courage to break in the base. "Introduce yourself. Now!" I ordered them. their purple, blue eyes pierced through my soul while they growled rudely at me like a wild animal, not saying a word.
they had guts to ignore an order from me, the leader of the infamous league of villains, who could turn them to dust with only my five fingers on their throat.
Suddenly they charged at me with inhuman speed, I started to hear voices, voices of people I couldn't remember. I felt nauseated by the feeling the voices gave me, the feeling of disgust and guilt. My eyes began to tear up, my vision became blurry, I began to claw to my surroundings and my neck, tearing the flesh apart. "E-everyone get t-them..." I coughed with the little breath I had left in my lungs. The others acted on my command as quickly as they could, Toga and Spinner with their sharpened knives, Dabi with hot flames, and mustard with his intoxicating gas.
"where the fuck did they go!" Spinner yelled out of confusion and the moment he said that sentence the burning sensation in my skull disappeared. What the hell? They were here seconds ago and now their gone somehow. I demanded the others to inspect the whole building searching for them, but they were nowhere to be found.
The rest of the day I had all sorts of troubled thoughts of where they may be and who the fuck they are. To calm down I went to the roof as I always did in the evening.
The cold evening breeze was flowing through my ocean blue hair while I was staring at the great darkness above me, enlightened by multiple white dots we call stars. "who are they, are they involved with the heroes? Are they a villain like all of us? I think they would've made a great player in our game, having felt how powerful they are in how much pain they caused me to be. What a waste..." I said sunken in my own thoughts. Suddenly, I heard a deep sigh at the other side of the building, I thought to myself who would be out in the cold at this hour except for me? I rose slowly from the ground that was on top of the roof, the little pebbles cracking beneath my blood-red shoes while I was walking towards the other side just to look around the corner. I froze. I saw them scrambling through their insanely large bag. The fact that they were out here at this hour didn't really shock me anymore, when they pulled out the item they were looking for... A gun... they pointed the loaded weapon to their skull, suddenly I realized what they were planning on doing, was this their way of dealing with the all the problems that found a place in their life? To kill themself they think that is the solution to everything? I hesitated to make a move, but before I could even make one it was too late. They pulled the trigger. A hole was formed in their forehead, they dropped the gun on the ground. My eyes staring at the motionless being in front of me, expecting the cold body to drop, dripping with blood on the roof, but the drop never came, their body still stranded on both bare feet on the edge of the building. "fucking hell... why does my body reject death?! Doesn't it get that I'm done living my life? I WAN'T TO DIE, DAMN IT!" they sobbed loud, falling on the ground with the pebbles imprinting a shape in their knees. They shred their bandages to pieces and it fell down as it was freshly fallen winter snow. Slowly I started walking towards the weeping person on the roof and said to them, "come on... You know that you can't stay here. Let's go back downstairs, have a little chit-chat..." they refused shaking their head heavily. I didn't take no for an answer and pulled them downstairs with me by their sleeve. I noticed only downstairs at the bar their face was now fully exposed to the naked eye...
Their facial features were something else though, their skin color was so white as snow itself, three scars caressed horizontally and vertically over the middle line of their face, their eyes were reflecting a pink and blue-ish glow, their mouth had stitches at the left side of the corner, their teeth were shark-like sharp, they had black and white hair with an ombre effect and a tattoo at the right side of their face.
"let's continue our talk NPC~." I chuckled madly at them. Their face kept its cool look, but in the eyes there was the real fear I was looking for…
the urge to kms in front of people when they yell at me
ya know it’s getting bad again when you start cutting deeper :/
⚠️ suicide mentione/talk
Not gonna lie.... that's so fucking true....
And really only few people realize that....
⚠️Tw suicide/selfharm mention/vent⚠️
I am thinking about suicide again
I wanna die because.....
Why I wanna die ?
Maybe just because....
Maybe because I am useless
Maybe because I am not worthy
Maybe because I am not enough
Because I am nothing
Because I don't deserve to live....
I don't deserve to be loved, to love, to exist....
I am nothing and no one ever would love someone like me so why live if anyways I end up dead...
Why live if anyways I be annoying, useless, not worthy, not enough....
No one cares if I am alive or dead ....
No one cares if my arms are covered in cuts and scars....
As long as I have good grades
As long as people see me as a kind, good and clever person ....
No one cares and no one will .....
If so then why live ?
Why suffer so much when you can die
Why be alive and be called a problem
I don't want to live
I don't want to be alive
I want to die
To disappear and never come back
⚠️Tw suicide mention⚠️
I don't know what to do anymore
My friend want to kill herself and I can do shit about it
I mean I am trying my best to stop her but it looks like nothing reaches her
She doesn't listen
She doesn't want to listen
And I feel so hopeless, so useless, so worthless....
If she kills herself I will blame myself till the end
You know how it feels to go to uni after an attempt and pretend like nothing had happened?
Pretend that there is no problem with you at all....
And they will never know that I tried, and tried, and tried to take my own life while they were watching stupid movies in the next room
I really enjoy hiding the truth, as my "mum" said, I'm a master at it
I want to take the pills and never wake up, but I know I can't because it would kill my mom too
mental illness gives such a bad stockholm syndrome it's unbelievable