"But This Piece Of Fiction Romanticizes [insert Bad Thing Here]!"

"But this piece of fiction romanticizes [insert bad thing here]!"

Okay. And?

If you aren't self-aware and educated enough to know something is bad regardless of how a tv show or movie or song portrays it, that's a you issue. I've never once watched Hannibal and thought that's a reasonable real life relationship. I've never once watched Game of Thrones and thought hey, maybe fucking your sister isn't such a bad thing.

Romanticizing is simply part of the narrative. If you can't separate the portrayal of something in fiction and how it should be approached in real life, you shouldn't be watching it.

By the way if you're creating a space like a private group chat or a Discord server it is absolutely your responsibility to make sure that space is safe.

It is your responsibility to moderate it. To regulate the behavior displayed within it. To take action when people create harm. You cannot just create this space then wash your hands of any responsibility for what happens within it.

I keep seeing so many teens making servers and chats and groups and then whining that they're getting bullied for not doing anything when people use them to cause harm and upset and I cannot stress this enough.

You are responsible for shutting that down. Or for sourcing someone to do it on your behalf. You have control of that space. You are not just an innocent bystander.

"Anything goes here, if you're offended just leave" is absolutely not an excuse for blatantly allowing things like harassment, bullying, racism, homophobia and other targeted hate.

Discord in particular is incredible for available resources for preventing things like this. There are literally hundreds of server bots you can deploy to auto-moderate and manual moderation is as easy as two little clicks.

If you feel you're responsible enough to be in the position of power of creating a space, you are responsible enough to ensure it is not used for harm.

And if you're not?

Well.

Gonna apologize in advance my brain is fried from work so if this is semi-incomprehensible myyyyy b.

Ty for your reasonable takes. As someone whose degree is in literature, the logic i see around modern antis is…repulsive honestly. I *had* to read stuff like lolita which i mean…most misunderstood piece of literature out there tbh. Personally, i don’t like incest ships or minor ships but yknow i act like a reasonable human and don’t seek them out. Keep on keepin on my dude

Modern antis are just mini-cultists and wanna-be revolutionists who think they're taking action by dogpiling people over fictional content instead of actually having the courage to take action in real life.

The amount of antis who can't have an actual discussion about something proves just how many are only around to virtue signal and find an outlet for all the hate within them. I always know when I've made a reasonable point because they suddenly stop replying or start resorting to name calling, threats and snarky little non-responses.

I'm gonna keep doing this, don't worry.

Also amen on the work thing, eat something carby, drink some water and get some good rest!

I have nothing against the Pro-ship stance as I understand it (ship and let ship/fiction is fiction etc) but I do think it’s odd that pro-shippers never acknowledge how their online communities have become a safe space for actual pedos/zoos/pro-contact folks. Everyone is responsible for themselves ofc but seeing as pro/anti shippers seem to be in a “who cares about victims more” debate 24/7 it’s weird that actual perpetrators of these crimes seem to gravitate towards pro-shippers more and they never address it.

.

That discord server post made me remember the stark difference between Serverstuck (a minor populated server) and Degrees of Lewdity (strict adult-only server)

Serverstuck has the worst mods and owner I've seen because they're all Antis and abuse the rules by excusing anyone who are close to them & punishing others who are strangers, lying to people on why some got banned, and allowed sensitive political topic go unregulated

Degrees of Lewdity, despite filled with people who has crude & cursed-level sense of humor, has strict mods & owner, write the correct information on why some people are banned or muted (they even allow users to request to be ban from the server for mental health reasons), and immediately shut down any conversation of sensitive political topics that cause infighting between members

I feel safer in a server for an adult game development than a "minor friendly" homestuck rp server

While I do welcome servers that have a mixed age range, I don't think I've ever or will ever join a server moderated or owned by someone who is either/both an anti or a minor.

To run or moderate a server you need to be impartial, objective, socially aware, able to appropriately manage conflict and relatively socially seasoned. I've personally found most minors often lack or are incapable of most if not all of these qualities.

(And that's not me hating on minors or calling them ignorant. Some of those qualities are just things you learn or develop with age and time. Some adults never learn them at all, even, but they are qualities you need if you're going to, essentially, be in charge of other people.)

Sephiroth's Server Safety Tips

Always do a thorough check into who is advertising the server, who owns the server, and other members before joining a server where possible.

Once you've joined the server, immediately use the search function to look for key words related to topics you want to avoid, possible past conflict, bullying, ect.

Immediately check the server rules. Its a red flag in itself if the server doesn't have any. Also, 'just be nice' is not a rule. Servers should have clear, clean cut rules and regulations.

Don't be afraid to message server owners, moderators or users privately and ask questions. They shouldn't get offended and if they can't or won't answer questions about basic rules, server safety protocols, ect, you should reconsider joining.

Don't be afraid to ask around other people to see if the server is known or has a reputation, either. If a server is based on a specific fandom, for example, search through that fandom for any past mentions of the server or ask other fans if they've heard of it.

Hi, hi! I just wanted to thank you for your blog. Not only you actually, most proship Tumblr I follow, but I feel very emotional right now so you're getting the thanks haha. I've been feeling guilty about an oc incest ship recently, I've never been that attached to a ship nor into incest but I keep turning The Suffering and The Horny all over in my head. It's reassuring to ground myself in reality and reaffirm that it doesn't make me disgusting. I just have 'ugly' feelings to process. And I don't even need that justification. I mean I've been a Sebaciel shipper since I was a pre-teen but before my current incest ship I've never felt guilt or a need to justify it tbh. It's getting long and rambly but thank you. And fuck thought police.

I do what I do for people like you.

But, really. Its actually pretty common to feel guilt or anxiety about your relationship with fiction or something you're consuming in regards to fiction, and I promise you its normal.

The best thing you can do is what you are; understand and affirm that fiction is encapsulated from reality and it does not reflect who you are or what you uphold. Painting a dead body does not mean I killed someone.

Fictional incest does not equate to a real life crime nor possess a victim.

Sometimes, fiction can even help us to process our thoughts and feelings more than reality ever could. Sometimes its easier to tell a blank piece of paper your feelings than it is to tell a real person. Sometimes it takes us reading someone else's fiction to understand or learn something about our own reality.

In the iconic words of the most shagalicious agent; its all groovin', baby.