Was Your Safe Spaces Post Discord-(or Any Closed Forum I Guess) Specific, Or Do You Think The Same Should

Was your Safe Spaces post discord-(or any closed forum I guess) specific, or do you think the same should go for fandom-themed blogs on tumblr? Like, if I follow someone for Doctor Who content, I'd rather they didn't put real world issues on my dash, but otoh, it's their blog and they get to decide what they post on it (preferably tagged so I can curate). I've observed that people that run themed blogs that become popular often seem to feel an obligation to use their platform for activism (or, in the case of crypto-radfems, deliberately built their platform to recruit), and it stresses tf out of me for the reasons you mentioned, but it's not like the maintags are much safer because there will be spam relating to real-world issues, or antis trying to relate fiction to real world issues.

Realistically; the same outlook can and could be applied to any social setting. Be it online, private, public, face to face, ect.

Your point about obligation in terms of platform scale is something I've also noticed and have been dabbling about raising. Mostly because you see it a lot with celebrities or public content creators who receive a large following. Its often less that they feel obligated and more than they're usually bullied into it.

For example; I follow a trans (FTM) vlogger on Instagram. His entire online presence is based around being trans and helping to educate people and support people in regards to learning about being transgender, transgender health, his personal transitional journey, ect.

He's got a modest following, nothing ridiculous but I think right now he's sitting at around 75,000 followers.

And as of late, there are random people who don't follow him and aren't at all interested in what he has to say flooding his comment section with things like:

Why didn't you mention anything about Gaza?

All these followers and no shout outs for smaller creators?

What are you doing to raise awareness for X?

All these views could've been used to raise awareness for X.

And its fucking ridiculous. People are pressuring a middle class trans man with 75,000 followers to accept responsibility for counter-responding to a literal war when there are actual celebrities and billionaires with both the actual reach and money to make a difference who simply refuse to because they won't personally benefit from it.

I used to run a really popular fandom blog here on Tumblr. For an actual fandom, not just what I do here and now. It started off small, but I eventually grew it to the point where my follow count was creeping toward 10,000. Which for Tumblr and for a fandom-specific blog was not at all insignificant.

And the moment my notes count started going up, the demands started flooding in. People expecting me to reblog their donation links, demanding I share their friend's aid post, asking why I wasn't reblogging awareness posts or donation drives, ect.

Its largely because its easier to harass accessible people over it than it is to harass someone like Kim Kardashian, but its also because again: we have such a skewed understanding of what is actually effective in terms of activism and circulation of information.

Most of it comes down to shaming people and trying to assert that they're a bad person for having the privilege and benefits of a large following but not doing anything for other people or to 'deserve' that following. They're 'a bad person' for having 75,000 people's attention and not using it to force them to be aware of X.

A good example of proper audience targeting and activism is the page We Rate Dogs.

We Rate Dogs will share awareness posts and donation drives.

About dogs.

Because their followers are there for the dogs. Their followers like dogs. They want to enjoy dog content and help dogs.

If they started sharing posts about war and death and rape, the people who are following them to see cute dog videos will simply unfollow them.

They're using their targeted platform properly.

I saw your post about loving to read stories of reformed people. Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead: The Frank Meeink Story as Told to Jody M. Roy, Ph.D is about just that. It's extremely rough in some parts (both what people do to the author and what he does to others).

It's amazing at showing how people end up in hate groups and how as a society we can prevent it. The author now does anti nazi work all over the US.

If anyone has any other recommendations for videos, movies, literature, ect about personal reformation and growth, please feel free to share them.

This is going to be an unpleasant truth, but:

People will, and are allowed, to find you or things you do or the way you act annoying or upsetting or unpleasant.

What people are not allowed to do is treat you badly because of those things. But you cannot control the way people feel. You cannot force them to not feel those things.

Its just a fact of life. Everyone has sounds, sensations or things that annoy them or are unpleasant to experience. I can't stand the sound of children crying or screaming. It grates on every single nerve I have.

I'm entitled to feel that way. I can't help feeling that way. I can't just magically not be annoyed by screaming children anymore.

Your tics will irritate some people. Your anger outbursts will be upsetting to some people. Your endless rambling and interrupting or loud voice will be off-putting to some people.

And its perfectly fine. For you and for them.

You are who you are. Who you are will co-exist with some people and not with others. You deserve the opportunity to be authentic and the right to be comfortable, but so do other people, and people who put respectful distance between you and them are not being cruel.

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

I think one of the things that annoys me the most on the safe space post I made is people barging in to try to dictate how people can find respite, where, and how much respite they're allowed, and why.

"Oh its fine to take a break as long as you don't take too long and immediately launch back into activism again until your next burnout!"

No.

Respectfully; fuck all the way off.

"Yes!! Recharging is so important so you can keep being a good activist!!"

Who asked you? Who declared you Assigner of Respite Rights?

When I was at my worst in terms of mental health, I went a good two years doing absolutely fuck all for the rest of the world. I could barely get out of bed every morning, you can bet I wasn't doom-scrolling war articles and organising charity drives for the homeless.

I was one of the many, many people in the world that needed help.

And as I recovered, activism and fighting for other people were the literal last things on my mind. If they started talking about shootings on the radio I turned it off. If my friends started talking about the latest Worldwide Horror I asked them to stop or I left.

I'm better now, and I made the personal choice to re-engage with activism in the best ways for myself, and I've made the choice to only be an activist when I feel like I can properly be one.

Some people might never get to that point. There are billions of people in the world. Stop screaming at individuals who are tired and broken and need help themselves. Stop assigning blame to the wrong people.

That's not activism or justice knighting.

Its bullying.

Nothing brings me joy more than simping ridiculously obnoxiously over "evil/bad/wrong/complex/villain" characters just because people can't understand the concept of enjoyment not being the same as condoning.

"How can you like Homelander?! He's a fascist racist murderer!"

Who?? My pookie? My Homie? Homelander?? He's my cinnamon son. Never done a thing wrong in his life.

"Billy Hargrove is an abusive racist who deserved to die!"

Billy Hargrove for President 2024. My BarbieBabygirl has never sinned since the day he was born. He crimed? Instant innocence. He's too pretty for jail.

The moment you try to shame or attack or harass me because I enjoy fictional evil little rat bastards I swear to god I will make promoting them my life mission.

Except Joffrey Lannister. Even in this den of sin we don't go that far. #justiceforthedirewolvesofhousestark