Yeah I Get That, At First I Didn't Know Anything About CDD Other That Some Random Encounters In Internet

Yeah I get that, at first I didn't know anything about CDD other that some random encounters in internet with OSDDID community content and I didn't understand anything of that, when we finally get my medical recognition I immediately entered in a denial spiral, it was one of the toughest denial episodes I've ever had and it took me like another two years and more personal investigation on the CDD to finally start to accept that what I was experiencing was DID because I was scared and the amnesiac barriers play dirty to you

Amnesiac barrier are very wild and strange, and when you combine them with possessive and non-possessive switches it gets worst, it's a very complicated thing that gets very frustrating when you try to understand it, it works in its own patterns but it differs from sys to sys and that makes it difficult to handle and understand your own case, more with denial and blurry in the same table

Dissociation and amnesia works together in this disorder, and it's wild and interesting trying to understand and find a meaning for the patterns and ways to work form your brain an system

I hope things are getting better for you, and I totally related with what you say

Something that I haven't seen a lot to be talked about in the CDD community is how strange amnesiac barriers can act sometimes

One moment you're talking with the others at front and you're aware of the system, and in the other you feel completely alone and stop knowing about the system and alters like 1-3 months and suddenly they pop up again and make appearance just like nothing happened

When this happens is when I usually get into the denial episodes and start thinking I'm faking, but then they return and I'm more confused than ever

Or when you're normal and suddenly you become hyper aware of your system and start hearing alters that you never heard but aren't new, just the barriers didn't let you know them before

This are just some of the most common experiences we have with the amnesiac barriers and I think it should be talked a little bit more, after all is a primordial part of the complex dissociative disorders

If you want reblog and/or comment your own experiences and thoughts regarding amnesiac barriers!

Mixed Origins/disordered endos & pro-endos

Before someone comes here and say now I'm talking about endos when this blog isn't about that, I just want to clarify this is a boundary post, more like an extent of the intro to clarify some things for our personal comfort

When talking about mixed origins systems, or how we feel more comfortable calling them, endos who are also disordered, we have mixed opinions (Get the joke?)

But jokes aside we're a bit mixed about that, it's like they're in a fragile line between us being ok with them interacting and don't wanting them to interact, so we decided to make this post to make it more clear and, if you're a system like this, read this to understand and follow our boundaries before interacting, if you're not comfortable with this or think is dumb or something like that I recommend you to not interacting with me and leave me alone, mayba block me if that's better for you

When I talk about disordered endos I'm talking about those systems that besides they're OSDDID or disordered plurality have another kind of plurality, this being spiritual, alterhuman, cultural, etc. it's irrelevant for this topic. So if you're under this description and you may think about interacting with this blog I found helpful to read this first to prevent problems

As we already established by our intro we're not comfortable with endos interacting for past experiences and more current ones, so it's hard to us to feel 100% comfortable with OSDDID systems who also have another kind of plurality because of on how most of endos act and behave (The principal reason why we don't want them to interact with us and the blog), but we're aware they're also disordered, and telling them our blog is 100% prohibited seems... Wrong in my opinion, so that's why we're making this for clarifying

(Also clarifying this boundaries applies to pro-endos, just don't want to make more text just about them cause it will be repetitive lol)

We don't have a problem with this systems interacting if they're:

Gonna talk about experiences regarding they're disorder

Gonna ask questions/make submissions regarding disordered plurality

Abstain to talk about their endos experiences, comments and all of that from this blog (Clarifying this blog because outside of our blog we don't care about that)

In the same line that the last one, abstain to talk about non-disordered plurality at all (Again, clarifying this blog, we don't care outside of it )

Gonna assume a respectful, calm, not passive-agressive nor mad role in this blog, good and kind interactions are welcomed

Don't gonna get mad, harass, attack or get a bad attitude if we say something you disagree with regarding plural/system community, because if you do we'll block

Gonna be open minded, we're not perfect and we're gonna say some things that you may not agree with. We're open to debate, corrections and things like that, but understand that some points or thoughts of us won't be changed so you need to be open minded

I know for some people this may see ridiculous, immature, childish or something like that, I just want to say if you have this kind of mentality and think that please block us because we don't want people like that neer us

But if you understand this boundaries and follow them, then welcome to our blog, I sure hope you like it, or at least don't find it annoying :)

Thank you for taking your time into reading this and I hope we'll get along if you're a good pro-endo or a disordered endo

One of the random things I can say about our sys is regarding pseudomemories

When talking about pseudomemories we have 3 kinds: - The normal introject - Brainmade formed with pseudomemories according to their rol and/or behavior-personality - J O S E V O S K Y

For context Josevosky is the only brianmade that after forming he fronted to gain pseudomemories, not by the experiences he had in front, but writing his own pseudomemories ????

He developed as a fragment with 0 sense of self and conscious, and then he fronted and started leaving notes in my fanfics that told a little random story, for every "update" from that story he developed more sense of self and gain more formation till one moment the notes stopped because he fully formed

HE FUCKING WROTE HIS OWN PSEUDOMEMORIES TO BE FULLY FORMED AND HE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER THAT

Gonna be honest, that's the most random way of developing formation I've ever seen and has been the only case like that in our system which is crazier

So I'm curious, has this kind of things ever happened to another system or we're the rare one with curious thing?

Something that I haven't seen a lot to be talked about in the CDD community is how strange amnesiac barriers can act sometimes

One moment you're talking with the others at front and you're aware of the system, and in the other you feel completely alone and stop knowing about the system and alters like 1-3 months and suddenly they pop up again and make appearance just like nothing happened

When this happens is when I usually get into the denial episodes and start thinking I'm faking, but then they return and I'm more confused than ever

Or when you're normal and suddenly you become hyper aware of your system and start hearing alters that you never heard but aren't new, just the barriers didn't let you know them before

This are just some of the most common experiences we have with the amnesiac barriers and I think it should be talked a little bit more, after all is a primordial part of the complex dissociative disorders

If you want reblog and/or comment your own experiences and thoughts regarding amnesiac barriers!

You want a tip for tracking fronting?

Don't stress about it, you don't have to be perfectionist and have every front registered, when you stop trying to get perfection you feel so much better and calm

Sometimes isn't needed, after all almost all the time you don't need to know every exact detail of the front, I get that sometimes registering into front is to help you, but also don't stress with it

We have like... 3-5 introjects that are well formed, the rest are just fragments or semi-formeds and is WILD cause they act so different from well formed alters 😭

Running to send you help and donating brainmades 🏃 /j

I find so funny that even though we're introject heavy the most formed alters are almost always the brainmades, and like 98% of the fragments are introjects

It's like the brain says "We need a new fragment, let's introject... Wait, we need a more fully formed alter? Here you go a brainmade"

All the formation budget goes to the brainmades /j