Fiona: Hi, You Must Be Ruby.

Fiona: Hi, you must be Ruby.

Ruby: I must?

Fiona: You know, we have a friend in common... Jaune.

Ruby: How do you know Jaune?

Fiona: We're friends. Sometimes we run into one another in town, and we go get dinner after.

Ruby: Let me guess... He takes you to the library where your favorite books are in a high shelf?

Fiona: He does.

Ruby: Yeah, that'll stop. And dinner? Don't get used to it. *Chuckles before grabbing Fiona’s collar and pulls her in close with her silver eyes flaring up.* I've seen dozens of you. I've outlasted them... And I'll outlast you.

Fiona: 😨

Mercury: You know, I once lived in a tent in the yard for 6 months, waiting for my dad to let me back into the house.

Jaune: Oh do I know what that's like. Waiting for your so-called loved ones to acknowledge your existence!? Sitting alone in the dark, craving the love of a heartless man who kept you in a constant state of fear and-!

*Doorbell chime*

Jaune: Who could that be? 😊

(Kindergarten)

Bleiss: Hey, teach. Get the Molasses out of your ass and bring me that juice, will ya? You one mile an hour, walking, no-running ass, feet draggin' turtle, son of a bitch!

Port: Now, Bleiss, you can't go your entire life insulting people like that.

Bleiss: The hell I can, you bitch-ass, toupee wearin', fisheye'd, two year college degree earnin', no wife and kids havin', mustard stain on his shirt, kindergarten teachin' ass-

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(Graduation)

Bleiss: Diploma handin', dress wearin', funny hat-ass-

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(To Mirror)

Bleiss: First generation of your family to get into Beacon-ass-

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(Watching Jaune Get a Coffee)

Bleiss: Love at first sight ass, three sugars, two creams in a coffee-

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(First Date)

Bleiss: First date having, romantically compatible-ass, adorable man, hung like a-

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(Jaune Proposes)

Bleiss: Making me the happiest woman in the world ass-

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(Wedding Vows)

Bleiss: Love of my life-ass, til death do us part, I do, vow n'ring wearin'-

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(Pregnant)

Bleiss: Tiny embryonic-ass, no finger prints havin', third trimester, son of a-

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(To First-Born)

Bleiss: Beautiful ass, umbilical cord cuttin', little dick havin'-

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(Father & Son Playing Catch)

Bleiss: Bitch-ass, no baseball catchin'-

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(Son's Graduation)

Bleiss: Summa cumme laude, straight A's, makin' me proud-ass-

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(College Visit)

Bleiss: Cats in the cradle ass-

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(Grandchild)

Bleiss: First grandchild-ass, life begets life-ass, diaper full of shit stinkin'-

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(Final Moments)

Bleiss: Touchin' ass, surrounded by loved ones ass, wouldn't change a goddamn thing, makin' me cry-ass, mother fucking ready for death-ass... Me... shiiiit...

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(Years later)

Before her grave, Bleiss' grandchild looks upon their beloved grandmother's final resting place. Suddenly, an incredibly decrepit old man walks up to their side.

Port: Wow, I can't believe she actually did it. She was rude her whole life.

Grandchild: You knew my grandma?

Port: *Sighs as he pulls out the juice box she demanded from him all those years ago* She called me a bitch... *Empties out juice onto grave*

Grandchild: *Looks at Port perturbed before walking away* Weird, senile-ass, prune juice drinkin'-ass, mustard stain on his shirt...

Gravedigger: Grave's all ready sir.

Port: Great! *Falls back into grave*

Jaune: *Frantically searching around beacon* Ruby!? Ruby!?

Coco: *Atop staircase* Ruby!? Ruby!?

Jaune: Is your girlfriend named Ruby too?

Coco: No, but I figured if she's banging a guy like you, I got a shot. Ruby!?

Jaune: Wait what!? Ruby!?

Coco: Ruby!?

Jaune: RUBY!?

Jaune: *In hospital bed* Doc says I should make a full recovery. So long as we avoid as much physical contact as we can.

Ruby: Oh thank goodness. Guess we’ll need to be more careful from now on. *Gets ready to leave*

Jaune: Aren’t you forgetting something~

Ruby: Alright you goof. *Chuckles before blowing him a kiss* Get better soon~

Jaune: *Heart flatlines*

Ruby: AAAAUUHHH!!!

Jaune: *staring at Ruby’s thighs*

Jaune: I want them to crush my skull.

Ruby: What?

Jaune: I said this is such bull.

Jaune: You are grounded. For...

Nora: 🥺

Jaune: ... Till college.

Nora: For till college?!

Jaune: For till college!